[RedditExtractoR] Collecter des données sur reddit
Terminé
Dernière mise à jour: 2022-04-08
Ressources
CRAN: https://cran.r-project.org/web/packages/RedditExtractoR/index.html
Tuto: https://www.rpubs.com/mswofford/redditAPI
R documentation: https://www.rdocumentation.org/packages/RedditExtractoR/versions/2.1.5
Introduction
Reddit est un réseau social où il est possible de collecter des données via une API. Cette API ne demande pas d’avoir un compte.
Librarie
Librairie pour reddit
library(RedditExtractoR)## Warning: le package 'RedditExtractoR' a été compilé avec la version R 4.1.3Fonctions
La librairie possède une série de fonctions assez utiles pour collecter des données.
Liste des fonctions
Dans cette librairie, il y a 4 fonctions que nous allons présenter.
# Permet de voir toutes les fonctions d'un package
ls("package:RedditExtractoR")## [1] "find_subreddits" "find_thread_urls" "get_thread_content"
## [4] "get_user_content"find_thread_urls()
Cette première fonction permet d’obtenir les liens de tous les fils qui ont parlé d’un terme spécifique. Par exemple nous pouvons récupérer les liens de discussions qui mentionnent le terme “text mining” dans la semaine:
# Mise à jour en date du 08.04.2022
# Réccupéraion des liens
links_text_minging <-
find_thread_urls(keywords = "text_mining",
period = "week")## parsing URLs on page 1...
## parsing URLs on page 2...
## parsing URLs on page 3...# Visualisation des liens
links_text_minging## date_utc
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! 2022-04-06
## Well this really sucks 2022-04-01
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? 2022-04-05
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. 2022-04-01
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} 2022-04-03
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D 2022-04-07
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? 2022-04-06
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] 2022-04-05
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? 2022-04-08
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. 2022-04-04
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere 2022-04-04
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? 2022-04-06
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone 2022-04-06
## Another best friend dilemma 2022-04-04
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 2022-04-01
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship 2022-04-07
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction 2022-04-05
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? 2022-04-01
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? 2022-04-05
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! 2022-04-06
## OG from My Friend's DM 2022-04-02
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? 2022-04-02
## Finally using this flair 2022-04-04
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? 2022-04-01
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU 2022-04-06
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place 2022-04-02
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? 2022-04-01
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? 2022-04-03
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion 2022-04-05
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course 2022-04-04
## let's make some friends :) 2022-04-06
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 2022-04-04
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING 2022-04-05
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? 2022-04-04
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. 2022-04-08
## My ex may have outed me to my school 2022-04-07
## Every memory - deleted 2022-04-08
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. 2022-04-05
## a letter to you& 2022-04-04
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. 2022-04-08
## I've been lying to everyone in my life 2022-04-02
## Scrapyard Mines 2022-04-01
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] 2022-04-05
## How to back out as MOH/guest? 2022-04-06
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? 2022-04-06
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## timestamp
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! 1649205417
## Well this really sucks 1648851350
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? 1649189912
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. 1648839181
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} 1648957344
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D 1649332023
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? 1649270425
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] 1649122066
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? 1649404267
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. 1649065663
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere 1649071707
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? 1649247246
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone 1649205167
## Another best friend dilemma 1649052287
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 1648848906
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship 1649292207
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction 1649189019
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? 1648836775
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? 1649169799
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! 1649280843
## OG from My Friend's DM 1648886908
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? 1648921910
## Finally using this flair 1649100249
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? 1648787507
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU 1649253455
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place 1648898726
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? 1648787069
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? 1648955049
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion 1649194873
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course 1649041863
## let's make some friends :) 1649287518
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 1649102713
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING 1649139765
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? 1649101752
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. 1649380051
## My ex may have outed me to my school 1649338583
## Every memory - deleted 1649392957
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. 1649132720
## a letter to you& 1649044521
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. 1649377620
## I've been lying to everyone in my life 1648880226
## Scrapyard Mines 1648836000
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] 1649197418
## How to back out as MOH/guest? 1649215567
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? 1649237861
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## title
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2!
## Well this really sucks Well this really sucks
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it?
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this.
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da}
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope?
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] Chaos TV! [Part 4]
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki?
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death.
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"?
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone
## Another best friend dilemma Another best friend dilemma
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 Factorio Community Map - April 2022
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship entitled parent tries to destroy friendship
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both?
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio?
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful!
## OG from My Friend's DM OG from My Friend's DM
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting?
## Finally using this flair Finally using this flair
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? Get a drink with someone between friend and date?
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean?
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner?
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion I have a question for flat earthers about religion
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course UNSC Ships, A Crash Course
## let's make some friends :) let's make some friends :)
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? butterflies in stomach arent real right!?
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope.
## My ex may have outed me to my school My ex may have outed me to my school
## Every memory - deleted Every memory - deleted
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis.
## a letter to you& a letter to you&
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'.
## I've been lying to everyone in my life I've been lying to everyone in my life
## Scrapyard Mines Scrapyard Mines
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere]
## How to back out as MOH/guest? How to back out as MOH/guest?
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away?
## 1 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90DF Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 2 Did I do the right thing?
## 3 I am 24 years old, live in Rural NZ and make $53,000 NZD a year... and this week I got out of COVID-19 Isolation
## 4 I'm admitting that I am a loser and it's all my fault.
## 5 I have personally worked with over two dozen men since beginning my separation\\divorce. The patterns are strikingly similar. (some observations and conclusions)
## 6 The Cost of Eternity - Part 3/8
## 7 Attention Detectives. In order to continue posting on this sub about our beloved detective, you must learn the entire lore of the 2nd greatest detective of all time, Sherlock Holmes. Some of the stories will be available as posts, please read through them, there will be a test later.
## 8 I Miss My First (And Possibly Only True) Girlfriend.
## 9 Update #37: Stinger\031s Debut | New Ship Modules | New Story Content | New Enemy Ships | Overhauled Crafting and Ship Devices | Rebalanced XP plus Difficulty Settings | WIP Localization
## 10 Journey of 2nd Gold Cap
## 11 My mormon neighbor is bringing his crew over tomorrow for a "casual visit" after months of harassing us to do so.
## 12 Now I understand why I was unsuccessful with women - it all started with my mom
## 13 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90DF Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 14 Stranger asked me to talk to her son
## 15 It Hates
## 16 Entitled mother makes me feel bad about anniversary
## 17 My (25f) roommate(28f) is delusional
## 18 Can't believe it took place for me to find this sub
## 19 The tunnels
## 20 should I give my friend/nanny another chance?
## 21 was so close to become a MLM scapegoat!
## 22 Tyranny of Phandelver "special editions" now available
## 23 Ask Me: What Inspired That Abyss Creature?
## 24 A Visitor to the Future - 96 - Geared Up, Good to Go
## 25 Ghosted by LO
## 26 Getting left alone at a concert after requesting that I not be - am I overreacting?
## 27 I just need to talk about Dan.
## 28 My Bigfoot encounter
## 29 MBA managers are driving down wages
## 30 My Friend and I Kept Seeing the Same Girl Every Day At Work (Part 1)
## 31 Landlord gossiping about me?
## 32 Introducing... Toggle Macros!
## 33 Essay: HBP and the canon Harmony date that didn\031t quite happen (Part 2)
## 34 Help.. I think I\031m losing feelings for my girlfriend after an argument(jealousy), what do I do?
## 35 Narcissists will always narcissist
## 36 How and why did you breakup with your ex ?
## 37 The most avoidant {da} I\031ve ever been
## 38 DD on HYMC
## 39 Potential plan of our favorite green gal?
## 40 Do you know what poison tastes like?
## 41 Categorized list of fixes for the patch targeted April 11th
## 42 Alien abductions I think I got it figured out because of a Professor.
## 43 URGENT TO DO/LIVE UPDATES APRIL 2
## 44 Received an "apology" email from JN father. Responded and foolishly had hope but reconfirmed why JN is the way to go. Been interacting more with siblings and am invited to SIL's baby shower. Don't know what to do.
## 45 Asked her out, she said yes and left me on seen immediately after, what do now?
## 46 I'm working through The Great Hunt right now. I enjoy the story, but the stupidity of the characters is overwhelming and completely ruining the book for me.
## 47 Just pass them anyway
## 48 Starting IVF - Feeling Hopeless + Complete Meltdown
## 49 Is anyone happy with their CPAP?
## 50 An idea I had recently: Random Acts of Affirmation
## 51 The (very gay) story of how I started dating my girlfriend
## 52 A few months ago i got a random text from a girl on reddit and it made me question my sexuality
## 53 Rate my Dreadnought
## 54 Did anyone marry their spouse in-game bc they reminded them of someone they knew IRL?
## 55 Crying at night
## 56 Philex "delays" SRO because... "market volatility" (T:Apr5)
## 57 After 4 years with no solutions, I hacked my PE. Here\031s how
## 58 I met a girl who said she heard dead people whispering to her, telling her to join them. Now I\031m hearing them too.
## 59 ELI5: What\031s happening in Pakistan right now?
## 60 ALIEN: EDEN2 Teaser
## 61 AITA for setting my wedding date the day after my friend's birthday
## 62 I finally finished Xenoblade Chronicles X after 6 years.
## 63 My boyfriend has ADHD, and I do not.
## 64 Just got diagnosed and feel like a fake what is your hypomania like
## 65 A GIRL WANTS TO TALK TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO
## 66 Theory: The Entire Plot of Omori was much more revolved around a very different relationship between Sunny and Mari during development
## 67 Met her friends 72 hours after meeting her - yikes
## 68 Major Suggestion for a Quality of Life Item
## 69 crush on co worker [crushes]
## 70 Truce between r/math and r/transplace?
## 71 Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death.
## 72 Do you know what poison tastes like?
## 73 My ex filed a complaint against me, and my mom and I are going through severe trauma because of it
## 74 I Am Happy To Be Alive After Thoughts Of Suicide
## 75 I am angry with myself and how stuck I feel. None of my hard work ever pays off.
## 76 The list of Global Beermoney opportunities (+200!) - updated April 2022
## 77 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90 Day Fiancé, Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 78 I re-laid-out the playbooks for my home game
## 79 AITA for asking why my friend is texting my girlfriend?
## 80 In Word and Deed
## 81 22 Order Lost
## 82 AITA for giving my daughter a phone?
## 83 AITA for telling my mom I have a date on my day off?
## 84 The Legacy of Keroauc
## 85 Update! I threw a low blow at my wife, and now she's barely talking to me. Please help!
## 86 Writing, a character telling a sub story. How do I format that properly?
## 87 Birthday update and unresolved feelings.
## 88 Any Tips on dealing with Egotistical Clinical Instructor?
## 89 They got me -- a slightly different modus operandi than what I've read here
## 90 The rant about my old Boomerville...decades of gaslighting, lying, laziness, political corruption and ableism for the sake of car-centric culture
## 91 [Serious] My feelings and about this title and what it brought
## 92 It just isnt the same
## 93 HDMI or VGA
## 94 arrested... should have seen it coming.
## 95 i\031m in love with my friend
## 96 A reminder to not look at their social media
## 97 Feeling pressurised about marriage, conflict with parents over requirements for future spouse
## 98 Going to report my employer for unpaid wages
## 99 How I Gained Magic
## 100 AITA for not wanting to invite my brother to my wedding
## 110 My boss told me I was fired as soon as I got to work, laughed and walked off.
## 210 LPT It's okay to always be the one to initiate contact with a friend. Just because they don't reach out to you first doesn't mean they don't like you or want to hang out with you.
## 310 [r/deadbedrooms] I'm severely panicking that I've ruined my life
## 410 AITA for telling my friend she can't stay at mine?
## 510 Ryan Cohen, Killer of the Shorts >s: Tesla + Overstock = GME MOASS
## 610 AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral?
## 710 I found out I had a child when CPS contacted me because her mother was losing custody. Now what?
## 810 AITA For Telling My Mother I Am Not Proud Of Her Job As Nurse?
## 910 OOP is 'fired' via an April Fool's joke, decides to quit for real.
## 101 "My[32M] fiancé[29F] got breast enhancement surgery and I am no longer attracted to her." + update
## 111 Reported my teacher
## 121 [AITA] OP shows up to her cousin's wedding wearing an almost identical dress as the soon-to-be bride
## 131 My brother (33M) needs a new guardian, I want it, my mother (61F) is fighting me
## 141 Bloons TD 6 v31.0 - Update Preview! upcoming v31.0
## 151 AITA for choosing to comfort my best friend over my fiancée?
## 161 OOP is concerned for well-being of friend\031s daughter, friend tries to pawn off daughter on to OOP, OOP refuses, then friend tries to pawn off daughter on her sister
## 171 Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering: BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
## 181 Patch 1.10 & 1.11
## 191 AITA for proving to my friend that I had unsolicited nudes of who they were dating?
## 201 I looked through 130,000+ lines of Javascript so you don't have to
## 211 If he wanted to he would
## 221 My new neighbour thinks she can park anywhere
## 231 The tale of Kevin, the fool.
## 241 My experience with reporting domestic violence to the police.
## 251 Impressions & Games tested after the first 10 days of Steam Deck usage. It is amazing :)
## 261 Just found out my mom is using my name to do online porn on my birthday!
## 271 AITA for not sharing and hiding my prescription pain medication with my mom?
## 281 Avoid these HUGE mistakes when launching on Product Hunt
## 291 My entitled mother made my engagement about herself less than three hours after I got home.
## 301 !2.6 Spoilers! The Chasm Purple Writing Translated
## 311 Due to overwhelming demand...
## 321 Respect goes both ways
## 331 I found a class photo of my boyfriend from 1975 but my boyfriend is 19 years old..
## 341 Graduated, unexpected home birth - I delivered my son myself.
## 351 My Wife Cheated on me..
## 361 I went a little too far to prove my friend was lying
## 371 \034Naught but wood\035 - A subtextual analysis of the hidden story of Gimli the Dwarf
## 381 Is it a red flag that he wants to do the first date at his place
## 391 My stay at a haunted hotel in Downtown Dallas
## 401 I started saying "no" and it feels great.
## 411 Attacks from Celestia and the Calamity of the Moon Sisters; how it finds a place in Teyvat's timeline
## 421 I discovered my largest pet peeve as a parent!!
## 431 We found the missing miner Erge!
## 441 I (32F) told my boyfriend (31M) that his best friend (30M) deserved to be cheated on.
## 451 AITA for not inviting my dad\031s gf + her kids to my birthday dinner?
## 461 MY LIFE IN A WAR ZONE: UPDATES AND THOUGHTS ON BUCHA MASSACRE
## 471 I tested and scored 75 games on Steam Deck!
## 481 I wrote my first unit test today!
## 491 The Yaksha who fought in the Chasm
## 501 Inside the Weird and Wacky World of US College Admissions in China: An International (Chinese) Perspective
## 511 It's been a year since my best friend April fooled our whole school. We're still in quarantine, and the update is 68%.
## 521 Felix Hugo Fraldarius: A Compassionate Take on Autism
## 531 Everything fucking sucks and my roommate is a cherry on top of a shit sundae
## 541 Why I don\031t tell anyone I have ADHD
## 551 My Wife May Have Cheated With My Co-Worker. (Update1)
## 561 AITA for removing my (20f) things from my shared apartment areas, leaving my roommate (21m) with almost nothing?
## 571 My stay at a haunted hotel in Downtown Dallas
## 581 The origins of Fargrave and It's Bearers Revealed. Possibly the First Ever Such Theory Published.
## 591 Fiancé cheated but won\031t admit it after being caught. I\031m absolutely broken.
## 601 OMOMG I DID IT
## 611 Celebrate with me ! I made $270 in 4 days of starting OF as a faceless black creator
## 621 I feel like I'm my nephews Mother
## 631 3 red flags and I think I\031m done now
## 641 Asked if there was room to come up on my salary after an official offer, and found out 4 days later they gave the job to someone else.
## 651 Tips for making and maintaining friends in an MBA
## 661 Be careful out there!
## 671 Literally had it with my husband
## 681 I wish my mom would talk to me like a daughter not a lover.
## 691 [RACE REPORT] THE SPEED PROJECT OG - chasing records through the desert
## 701 Housekeeping Poop UPDATE -long sorry
## 711 What was the last straw that made you leave your job?
## 721 I found a class photo of my boyfriend from 1975 but my boyfriend is 19 years old.. (Part 3)
## 731 My (41F) boyfriend (45M) got drunk and accused me of cheating with his son (23M)
## 741 Omg I am sorry I didn't post here to let you know about my husband!
## 751 SSB: From The Abyss
## 761 AITB for being mad at my friend/roommate for borrowing my car for more than to and from work and telling her she can't use my car anymore despite hers being in the shop?
## 771 I recently screwed up pretty bad with a really cool guy.
## 781 Olivia on Mia Freedman\031s podcast Unfiltered: RECAP
## 791 How do I respectfully manage my controlling mother even though I am no longer living at home?
## 801 Girlfriend PGY1 in 2 months. Need some help
## 811 The Return to Malorina. Part Two.
## 821 Doppelganger experience I had a few day ago
## 831 Husband of 8 years kissed someone else while drunk.
## 841 a strange, new journal
## 851 Please, just use the plans.
## 861 As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. I made this infographic, you can use it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). I hope it helps.
## 871 [RACE REPORT] THE SPEED PROJECT OG - chasing records through the desert
## 881 It\031s a celebration, b*tches
## 891 My Thoughts and Advice from Running Call of the Netherdeep: The Festival of Merit
## 901 Update 9.6 is live! + The Springening + Birthdayz!
## 911 [UPDATE] Every Movie Reference Made by Kanye West (now with the all the songs he has been featuring on)
## 921 EM gets dog I will have to care for
## 931 Birds Before Land? *Long Post. sorry!*
## 941 My wife (29) of four months called the cops on me (29) & my mom, we both got arrested for battery, but the case was dismissed largely due to the texts she sent me beforehand. Some community elders want us to meet now & possibly reconcile...
## 951 France is not botting proof and explaining
## 961 I decided to let NovelAI (an AI text generation tool) generate a prompt with a couple of mine as examples, and I got this:
## 971 Reflection on recycling: plastic is a scam and we are poisoning ourselves.
## 981 Chanel Black and Beige Espadrilles from Rose for my 27 cm feet! Big foot ladies rejoice!
## 991 KOTOR 2 Experience: Droids go boom!
## 1001 AITA for not wanting my fiancés sister apart of anything that has to do with our wedding?
## text
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! TLDR at the end, apologies for the length!\n\nA few months ago I set out on a mission to complete as many Final Fantasy games as I could from start to completion. I completed Final Fantasy 1, [which you can read here](https://www.reddit.com/r/FinalFantasy/comments/qp2y51/im_playing_the_final_fantasy_games_from_115_to/) if you're a glutton for punishment.\n\nUnfortunately, a lot has happened since then but I recently caught covid (I'm ok!) so had a week's downtime to play through Final Fantasy 2! Before I start let me point out that this is the *actual* Final Fantasy 2. As I'm sure most people are aware, the original Final Fantasy 2 and 3 weren't released outside of Japan until the early/mid-2000s, despite being released in Japan in the late 1980s/early 1990s. The Final Fantasy 2 that was released internationally was actually Final Fantasy 4, re-packaged as number 2. Anyway, history lesson aside, here are my views on it.\n\nUgh, this game is so frustrating! Some of the frustration comes through playing it on a broken down PSP that decides it wants to continuously freeze up, some of it comes from the game itself. Obviously, I played it on PSP as this was the version recommended to me. Just like Final Fantasy 1, it's a port of the GBA re-release and includes the Soul of Rebirth added content (please don't expect too much on that, I'll explain in due course).\n\nFF2 is often considered to be the worst of the series so I went in with low expectations, I really, really wanted to dislike it and it's there that the frustrations come to fruition. At times I did hate it, I wasn't having fun, especially in the early game. However, I grew to genuinely love it eventually, quirks and all.\n\nLet's start with how it looks and sounds before I try to unpick how it plays. I have to be honest, I didn't play the NES original as I understand zero Japanese, I'm sure there are emulated versions with fan-made translations but I have a PSP and I'm lazy. I've seen some screenshots and video play of the NES version and it's honestly similar, but improved compared to the first. The PSP version as you'd expect is a massive step up and looks great. I love the pixelesque aesthetic and the maps are a faithful recreation of the originals. The music and sounds are top-notch in the PSP version and although simple, stand up well, even today.\n\nGameplay, here we go, where to start? In the original FF1, you get to pick your party, name them and make up the party however you wish. That's gone in FF2, you have the much more familiar preset party, but even though they're preset you can use the game's unique levelling system to mould the party as you see fit throughout the game. The levelling system is what makes FF2 stand out. Gone are the traditional kill a certain amount of enemies, earn a certain amount of EXP points, get a numbered level and your stats are automatically levelled. There also isn't a customisable stat set per se, it's a weird hybrid mash-up. Essentially the way it works is that the more you use a skill/weapon/spell the better at it you get. Keep getting battered into low health? Your overall HP will rise quicker, keep using the cure spell regularly? You'll have a much higher levelled skill by the end game, fighting a low accuracy enemy who misses a lot? You're gonna get a boost to your evasion stats. It makes more sense when you're playing, but unfortunately, the system is a bit...broken. It's open to exploitation by attacking and healing your own characters when in lower level fights to boost the stats you want to be boosted (I genuinely didn't do this) and can make the game far too easy. All in all though, the stats even out to your particular style of play. I ended up with hard-hitting melee characters with strong heal spells and just *ok* white/dark magic skills.\n\nThe world is a very early example of an open world. Once you're out of the very early stages you're free to go to where you want, provided you can get there. The map felt much bigger than in Final Fantasy 1, but obviously in comparison to more modern titles, is tiny. There's a good variety of different biomes and landscapes to visit, but one of my biggest complaints is the dungeons, a lot of them felt far too labyrinth-like and unless you're using a guide you're going to get lost in dead ends. The biggest annoyance for me though is the random encounters in said dungeons. There are ***so many*** random encounters, at times it's every 3 steps. Great for rounding out those stats that you're using a lot, not so great when you're in the last dungeon that has ***16 (sixteen!)*** floors. Make sure you've stocked up before you hit the last dungeon because those 16 levels have dead-ends and empty rooms aplenty and hundreds of encounters. I think it may well have taken me over 3 hours to finish the last dungeon and I had to teleport out, restock, heal up to make sure I had enough to take on the final boss and then start again at least twice, but then maybe I was too low level when I went in. I definitely wasn't by the end! Another thing that really bugged me was the attack inconsistancies, particularly in the mid-game, sometimes I'd hit for 12 damage the next attack on the same enemy would hit for 200. By the end of the game as I got my strength and accuracy up this had evened out and I was consistently hitting for 2,000+ against standard enemies. Despite my gripes though, as I was heading through the game I noticed that I'd gone from being irritated to actually having fun. When it's wonky, the game's *really* wonky but when it's working properly, it's pretty good! The difficulty and learning curve is just right, that's one part I enjoyed. When I first hit a new dungeon I'd feel weak and underpowered. As my skills improved and I picked up a few new weapons I managed to survive a little easier and by the dungeon boss, I was cutting through enemies with relative ease, as it should be. In FF1 I didn't get one game over, but I definitely got a few here, as I was learning the new skills, new levelling system and getting to grips with how it worked. Even at the end-game, I got hit with a few curve balls which forced me out of my standard way of playing to try new things and experiment.\n\nThe story is a massive step up from FF1, there's a simple but clear narrative. Evil Emporer raging war against the world, kidnapped princess and a journey to hell. Knowing your next objective is much more straight forward and it just makes sense. It's a simple and cliched story but it's there, you don't need to find random NPCs nearly as much although it's worth doing as they'll often tell you more about where you're going. The pacing is a bit off at times though, in one instance I'd spent a good 2 hours following a quest line, wrapped it up and started the next which lasted about 15 minutes and left me feeling I'd missed something out.\n\nIntertwined with the story is the keyword system. This really grated on me to begin with and I hated it, but as I got used to it I warmed to it, to a degree. I still don't love it. Essentially certain keywords will appear red in the text and you can learn that word and then ask for more info, go to another NPC and ask them about it or at times just guess. I started off missing one or two which was really frustrating as you can't progress the story without saying them in some cases, but as the story progresses it becomes much more logical. I mean what kind of world are we in where you can't go to a town until you've mentioned a keyword about it first?\n\nIn essence, this is a simple story of good vs evil (basically Star Wars) with some overly complicated levelling system and story progression keyword system. It's like the devs finished the game and thought, this is too simple, how can we make this more *different*. As I said before, sometimes it works, sometimes, not so much.\n\nThe Soul of Rebirth content is something I didn't really get to try out too much. In the main story, you have 3 core party members and a revolving cast that dip in and out and make up the 4th party member. It's up to you to equip the revolving party member and after I had one temporary party member die as part of the storyline, taking my items with them, I made a point to keep the next ones less well equipped and if I could tell they would be leaving I'd unequip them completely. That's the issue with Soul of Rebirth. It includes those revolving party members as a separate storyline taking place in line with the main storyline. The problem is, the characters in SoR use the weapons you gave them when they left your party, all of mine were unequipped or underpowered and the prospect of doing it all again from scratch was too much. SoR might be amazing but I imagine it's more of the same.\n\nI can understand why FF2 is so derided by fans of the series. It's certainly flawed but is it awful? It's not terrible by any stretch, it has its high points but unfortunately, the low points often outweigh them. It wasn't until the late game that I really got into the swing of it and started to enjoy it more. As you can tell by the length of this post, there's a lot to unpack, although the story is simple enough, the game itself is much more complex. It took me a total of 20 hours to finish the main story and that's without the SoR content, if it's what I've read about I can imagine at least another 10 hours to play through it. Still, for a game from 1988, I think 20 hours is pretty impressive!\n\nSo now to rank it, I genuinely want to put it level with FF1, it doesn't always reach its ambitions and tries to add new things that don't always work, but the story is much better and the general feel of it is more structured and polished. That feels like a cop-out though so I'll say:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n1. Final Fantasy 1\n2. Final Fantasy 2 (but only just)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTL;DR - A flawed game, with more scope and ambition than Final Fantasy 1, it sometimes tries to overcomplicate things and sometimes this falls flat on its face. A nice, simple story that's a little cliche but much clearer than its predecessor. Does it deserve the bad reputation it has? In my opinion, no, I had fun with most of it!
## Well this really sucks I am in 8th grade and there was a incident in the class next to mine where 2 or 3 students (estimate) stole 12 tests including their own the day after a major district test, they then took pictures of the answers (all the test they stole where from almost and straight A students) and then speed these pictures through Snapchat. The reason they where able to stew all these texts was because that day there was a substitute teacher and they took advantage of her lack of knowledge of names, faces and ect. This caused a massive panic among the district because since no one confessed they had no idea of how far the pictures went, keep in mind that this was again a major test that counted for a large part of thousands of students grades. The school contacted the districts office and the effect of just 2-3 kids caused the entire school district to have to scrap and retake the test. This effected kids in both middle school and high school who where part of algebra 1, this just really pissed me off due to the fact that I was struggling in this class before hand and now have to redo a test that could have changed that. \n\nPs: the main teacher who was in charge of that class was out for that one day due to unknown reasons.
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? Basically have really strict family myself. I\031m 15 and have never been anywhere aside from school without them. Ive never gone anywhere alone, never done anything by with friends outside of school, never gone to someone else\031s house or had anyone come to mine, not allowed to text or call people, no social media& I feel disconnected from people I know and am friends with both literally and more emotionally. I think it\031s made me more shut off from people too. Curious how those with strict parents deal with it and how strict are your parents?
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. This might be a long post and might not even be the right place to post this. But I need help making sense of something I am not sure of at all. I need mental clarity desperately.\n\nI'm based in south Asia and right after graduating college, I got a job at a mid level company (in south asian context this means around 80-120 people) as a software developer.\n\nNow, the software industry in south asia relies on a lot of remote/outsourced and freelance work. The owner of my company however went one step further. He happens to have a U.S dual citizenship so what he would do is get hired as a contractor to American companies and startups by himself but would essentially send all of the details of the code and access to it to us back in south asia where we would have to impersonate the owner of the company to hi colleagues and do all the coding and communication via text. He would only attend meetings where he had to show his face and we would prep him before those.\n\nThe first time I met this person, I didn't really care much as I was just focused on getting my work done and getting paid. But for some reason, he started taking a keen interest in me and tried to be a bit extra friendly to me. I took that as a complement that the boss was really cool and all. He even helped me by assigning me to a project with a friend of his who worked for one of the biggest tech companies in the US.\n\nNow, that project kind of ended and the next time I met him (after six months after my first encounter as he had gone back to the US), I ended up meeting him again, and I kid you not. My gut instincts went bat shit crazy. I am not joking when I tell you that I literally froze and became a statue when he approached me. This has never ever happened to me before to this level. It felt almost supernatural. Please believe me that I am not lying to you about how severely something felt really really wrong to me.\n\nI obviously did not have clues or context as to why this was the case. I kept overthinking about this and assumed it might have been that I did something wrong on the project when i worked for his friend.\n\nSo I sent my boss a text asking him for more details about why the project ended abruptly and if I had done something wrong. Frankly, my gut instincts were going so off on such little context with regards to this person that I did not know what to do. and needed to see if maybe talking with him directly would help ease this weird feeling.\n\nBut everything went wrong after this. The boss literally started going out of his way to completely avoid me from the day I sent him the text message. \n\nHe would still text me about meeting up with me but in person, he would completely avoid me. the feeling was also not going away but I was struck with the strangest kind of shock I have never felt in my life.\n\nAt this point, I started getting suspicious that he was spying on my through my phone.\n\nI once talked about a book to a friend of mine, and I noticed he posted a picture of himself holding the same book literally the next day.\n\nSimilarly, I shit talked about his behavior and everything I was experiencing to my friend as well and I just feel that he somehow overheard our conversation.\n\nSImilarly, I noticed some of his friends who are also super senior and big in the local tech scene who I had never ever met before but I had visited their linkedin profiles as they are famous also ended up blocking me after I visited their linkedin profile ( I have it set to private so they shouldnt know who exactly looked them up plus they don't even know who I am). I can imagine he might have informed them that this guy is a threat or something.\n\nSo based on all this context, is it possible for him to have somehow access to my privacy and why I was getting such an off feeling about this dude?
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} Hi everyone, I\031m a bit confused and looking for some advice. \n\nWithin the last month I\031ve discovered I am (I think) avoidant. The issue is with the relationship I\031m currently in. \n\nWith my last relationship, which I think is a large part of why I am avoidant, I wasn\031t into the guy for the better part of a year a tried it convince myself I was because he was \034right\035. This led to a deep resentment of him because I essentially forced myself to stay with someone I wasn\031t truly into, thinking the honeymoon phase was just ending. This has created a deep doubting of my own judgment within relationships. \n\nI have been seeing someone for around a month and a half. We\031ve been on multiple dates, I have the very classic \034switch between hot and cold\035 with him that avoidants feel. \n\nThe issue is I do not think I\031m overly physically attracted to him and I don\031t see this changing. He is not an unattractive guy, I just never find myself having any desire to have any physical contact with him whatsoever \024 even to the point of it making me uncomfortable. He is great and I have talked about my need for independence with him. I just don\031t know if I\031m not feeling romantic feelings/attracted to him, or if this is avoidant behavior kicking in. \n\nThanks for any input!\n\nUPDATE: He could sense things were off after our date last night which doesn\031t surprise me as he\031s very perceptive. I couldn\031t talk until tonight due to prior commitments today. Instead of giving me space today (he knew what I was doing and that I was busy) he sent increasingly upset texts throughout the day, ignoring me telling him to please just wait until we could chat tonight. I just wanted to have an honest conversation with him that I don\031t think I was feeling what I needed to for this go to forward. On our call he proceeded to tell me I have \034a lot of trauma and baggage\035 and \034he was just trying to help\035. That was off putting to hear, especially as I understand what triggers me in relationships and I know a lot of that needs to be worked on outside of a relationship (hence, ending things here). I know I have things I can work on, but we all do. I was just very open about mine. His wording was hurtful. \n\nWe\031ve been on 4 true dates, hung out casually a couple times outside of that, all in all have been talking for around 1-1.5 months. I had opened up to him and been very upfront about my avoidant tendencies, never trying to deceive him. He reassured me it\031s okay to not know 100% right in the beginning. I felt like I was having to apologize for realizing I didn\031t think I was feeling what I needed to be feeling for this to go further \024 I apologized countless times on the call and it didn\031t matter. There was a lot of him taking a victim role throughout the day, which I didn\031t appreciate. I hadn\031t seen any of this side of him until today. \n\nGiven how things happened today, I think this may have been for the best. I never meant to hurt him but the feeling just wasn\031t there for me. Thanks for your input, everyone!
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D Hi everyone I'm looking for a friend :) could it be you?!!?\n\nAbout me: \n- My hobbies are painting, gaming, collecting plushies, loving dogs (especially mine) and animals, watchin adventure time :D\n\n-I have very bad anxiety but I find it easy texting and talking online!\n\n-Im from Australia but I don't mind where ever youre from!\n\nMessage me if you'd like to be friends or chat!
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? We know the risks of matrimony. She seems to believe that marriage will just happen if we date long enough. I have been firm and she has not mentioned for awhile. However, yesterday she said that she was going to marry me someday in a text.\n\nShe also wants kids, but I'm not willing to risk a disabled child given her age and also mine. \n\nThe sex is good and we agree on what food to eat. We both don't drink. Good match.\n\nDoes she get it? Do I need to keep reminding her that we're not getting married or marred?
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] [I](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/qw8hnx/chaos_tv_part_1/)\n[II](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/qx6gug/chaos_tv_part_2/)\n[III](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/sxi59y/chaos_tv_part_3/)\n\nUnlike the lavish downtown Seattle apartment that we can somehow afford on my imaginary TV show, my living area was practically limited to three rooms - a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. Not much space for much else, less I start earning a higher living to make some. I\031d have to graduate and hope for a decent job first. It was also limited to two colors: beige and beig-*er*. \n\nThere wasn\031t much decor to add any extra life to my closet of a room, but the few things I did have, including a couple of movie posters on the wall (*Star Wars, The Matrix, The Puppet Master, Tron)* and my LED lights, currently unlit, taped up in the corners of the walls, were crucial in ensuring that I didn\031t go mad in this place. Jeff\031s uncle\031s place was a paradise resort compared to this. The toilet hasn\031t given me or my roommate any trouble lately, though, it still gets stopped up from time to time, and we had a gas leak scare the other month, which thankfully, we ended up calling maintenance to get that taken care of in no time before it turned into something much worse. Other than that, it was a competent living space; it served its purpose.\n\nI stared at the row of mediums on my laptop I\031d created in just the span of a few days. Then at the generated poster for *Chaos TV!* It was a colorful array of selections, each poster with its unique tone and semblance in its respective genre, each with countless famous A-listers most would recognize at a glance, and some more under the radar. With my profile having been created under \030Confined Reality\031 settings, I couldn\031t recreate new mediums starring the rest of the gang, according to the principles Fe explained, and I can\031t go backward in time if the reality created on my profile contradicts the given medium I wish to create. \n\nI clicked on the + symbol in the corner of the screen, indicating for the user to create a new medium. The options to either upload from the library of thousands of films to select from Neptune, upload from my Cloud, or upload a script of my own appeared in the dropdown selection. There was also the option to mix these options up to allow for more flexibility. I chose to pick a movie from the selection and one of my creations. \n\nSure, I couldn\031t reuse my dead friends - sorry, at least, \034dead\035 in the Neptune program - but characters - the essence, manifestation of their personalities - don\031t exactly die, do they? Actors replace other actors all the time, sometimes taking on the exact same role. Hell, actors even get awards for playing other actors all the time in biopics. Why couldn\031t this be any different?\n\nI decided to merge *Chaos TV!* with the 1985\031s murder mystery-comedy *Clue*. The actual plot of *Clue* would play out nearly the same, except the catch was that the gang and I - Jeff, Amy, Kelly, and Mile - would be the stars& played by different actors. If I can\031t use their actual selves, then I\031d have to replace them with people who could embody their personas down to a T. \n\nFrank included. \n\nHe had to be there. He\031d become a part of the crew at this point, whether we liked it or not. The man of mystery himself seemed involved in every aspect of our on-screen lives, and I needed him to fall for the bait still. I needed to know if he\031d still go through with it. I needed to know, in a room full of dinner guests, with bodies dropping left and right, fingers pointing at such-and-such, that somehow, he\031d be behind it all&\n\nFrank would be played by, well, whoever Frank has been played by this entire time. He was still unidentified. So in the script, I decided to have each character\031s name flash across the screen when introduced, accompanied by their actors\031 real names. Mine would say, \034*Anthony Prescott as Anthony,\035* and then Venus Monroe (a famous actress and prominent sex symbol) as Amy. \n\nNo, that felt so wrong. Let me cast her as Kelly instead. But even that was weird&\n\nFuck it, Anthony. Just fill their spots in. That\031s all I had to do. \n\nAfter I got everything set, there was the moment of truth - would it even generate? I clicked to find out. Across the screen, a box popped up with the message:\n\n*Casting Error:* \n\n*The selected actor \030Frank\031 as \030Frank\031 is not recognized. Please select another actor.*\n\n\034Come the fuck on,\035 I groaned. \n\nApparently, Neptune can cast whoever the hell it wants with no warning, no additional information whatsoever, not even as much as a first and last name, but when I turn around and try and cast someone *it* put in place *itself,* suddenly, I\031m full of shit. Goodness&\n\nSo I can\031t use Frank&\n\nCould I use another actor to play Frank? Guess that\031s the only reasonable option. I picked a random actor I\031m sure nobody\031s ever heard of - no offense to them - then tried again.\n\n*Continuity Error:*\n\n*The character \030Frank\031 interferes with the continuity of this user\031s profile. Please select either a different actor or character.*\n\nI was at a loss. What the hell does that even mean? Frank all of sudden doesn\031t exist? Did he ever exist? He had to in order to be a part of the first season of *Chaos TV!* There\031s no way he\031s just some sort& wait.\n\nThe thought brushed over me a few times since testing out the mediums, but I believed it was too farfetched for me to really concur. However, now it\031s starting to persistently tap my shoulder, begging the question; was Frank even a real person? Was he just a background character generated by the program, replicated to look almost like an actual person, an attestation to just how realistic it could be and how far we\031ve come in technology?\n\nCould be a stretch, but it was a working theory&\n\nI decided to scrap the character of Frank entirely, and just use myself and the original gang. Though, I didn\031t really see the point in what I was doing now. With Frank gone, this was practically meaningless. But who knows. So far, the program did things on its own that didn\031t add up yet. Maybe it would give us more clues to work with (no pun intended).\n\nTime to test this one out. I clicked \030Generate New Medium\031 and watched as the loading symbol swirled on the screen. This time, a pop-up message box didn\031t intrude, but instead, a box giving me the download time followed, as it did with the many others I made. Finally, a breakthrough.\n\nThen I looked at the time left for it to generate.\n\n*21 hours and 47 minutes*\n\nYou\031ve gotta be kidding me. That long? It never takes that long for a 90-minute feature to generate, let alone a two-hour one. I threw my head back against the bedboard and let out the heaviest sigh. I suppose I could take a nap or watch something else in the meantime. Could probably look back over reruns of *Chaos TV!* to search for more clues we might\031ve missed, though, I think Jeff or one of the others was on that already.\n\n*The Jetsons* doorbell chime sounded from my phone, and I picked it up to see who just texted me. I froze once I read it. It was from Amy.\n\n*Hey, can you come over?*\n\nMy heartbeat just shot up. Did she mean to send that to me? That was a first.\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nSimilar to how Jeff stayed with his uncle, Amy was fortunate enough to live with her aunt. I don\031t entirely remember what she said her aunt did for a living, but I believe it had something to do with sales. Amy said she didn\031t have to worry about sharing the rent - must be nice. \n\nI rang the doorbell and was greeted by Amy\031s aunt herself. \n\n\034Hi, you must be Anthony,\035 she delightfully greeted with a big smile. \034I\031m Victoria.\035\n\nShe extended her hand for me to shake, which I did without hesitation. Her kindness felt contagious.\n\n\034It\031s nice to meet you, Victoria,\035 I returned.\n\n\034Please, come in,\035 she insisted.\n\nOf course, the house was very well-decorated on the interior and very clean. It was a complete 180 from my place, mainly speaking for my roommate\031s section, which unfortunately included the kitchen and living area at times. \n\n\034Amy\031s just upstairs,\035 Victoria informed. \034Right after you go up, take a right into the hallway and she\031ll be in the room just across.\035\n\n\034Okay, thank you,\035 I replied.\n\n\034Also, I\031m making dinner. It should be done in about an hour. If you\031d like to stay for that, you\031re more than welcome.\035\n\nAny college student would be dumb to turn down a free meal any day, first and foremost, but I also couldn\031t refuse just for Victoria\031s hospitality alone. \n\n\034Sure, yeah, that would be nice actually,\035 I accepted.\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nAcross the hall, Amy\031s door was left wide open, and I could already tell from a distance that it was her room from the plastered boy band, anime, and girl pop star posters along the wall. I stepped in, lightly knocking on the side of the wall.\n\n\034Permission to come aboard?\035 I humored.\n\nIn the corner of the room next to the window, Amy sat at her desktop computer table, stacked with all sorts of books and accessories, decorated in a full spectrum of pink, purple, white, and green. \n\nShe turned to face me, glasses over her face. Gosh, she looked even prettier with her glasses, in my opinion, but pretty regardless.\n\n\034Permission granted,\035 she chortled. \034Here, come look at this.\035\n\nAs I walked over to her side, I could already see Neptune pulled up, as well as some minimized boxes layered across the monitor. I took a seat on a cushioned stool she left for me at her side.\n\n\034I was looking over the last episode we made of your show - *our* show - like crazy since it happened, and I took some notes.\035\n\n\034What did you find?\035 I asked.\n\nShe shook her head. \034All sorts of shit. Things I\031m not even sure make sense, but none of it really does, I guess.\035\n\nI glanced at her notebook left on the desk to the side, full of random questions and theories written in no particular order, arrows pointing diagonally here and there. It was amazingly in-depth, more than the notes I take in class. No wonder her grades were better than mine.\n\n*Why is Frank so distant from us?*\n\n*Why is* *~~he cold~~* *does he have a cold stare?*\n\n*Why does it all end in death?*\n\n*What\031s with this theme of death?*\n\nAnd there were countless more questions with various lines pointing in other directions across the paper.\n\n\034I suppose if I took notes as good as these, I\031d finally get a B-average in math,\035 I dryly humored.\n\n\034I could help you with that,\035 Amy commented, simultaneously clicking and typing to pull up whatever it was she intended to show me.\n\n\034Yeah?\035\n\n\034Of course. Why not?\035\n\nYeah& why not?\n\n\034Here, take a look at these,\035 she pointed at the screen.\n\nAmy\031s Neptune dashboard was left open for me to see, her own list of mediums on full display. Some of them looked familiar, like the rom-coms and *Magic Mike*, but there were a few other new mediums that I guess you could say were& *fascinating*.\n\n\034Is that you in the cover of *The Fault In Our Stars*?\035 I pointed out.\n\nAmy sighed, \034Yes.\035\n\n\034Is that-\035\n\n\034Yes, that\031s *The Notebook* as well. That\031s not what I\031m talking about.\035 \n\nAmy moved her finger more precisely towards a row of movies and TV shows she created that I was all too familiar with, starring us - her, Jeff, Miles, Kelly, and I - as the main leads. They consisted of recreations of *Final Destination, Scooby-Doo, The Breakfast Club, The Thing,* and *Ferris Bueller\031s Day Off*.\n\n\034You made more mediums,\035 I said.\n\n\034Right,\035 she confirmed. \034I chose these ones in particular since they all involve a gang of people sort of? All of them except *Ferris Bueller*. I wanted to throw one in there that didn\031t involve a murder plot and was something entirely innocent to see if the Neptune program would still deviate from the main plot.\035\n\n\034I don\031t remember a murder plot in *The Breakfast Club* either.\035\n\n\034There isn\031t, I just picked it since it\031s, ya know, a \030team\031 movie, if that makes sense?\035\n\n\034Okay. You wanna see if they end in a similar outcome as-\035\n\n\034*Chaos TV!*, exactly.\035\n\nLittle did she know, I had the exact same idea and had already started running the experiment on my own, except mine would apparently take all day.\n\n\034So what did you find?\035 I asked.\n\n\034Well, why don\031t you take a look,\035 she answered. \n\nBetter to see it with my own two eyes, I supposed. \n\nShe first clicked on *Final Destination*, more specifically *Final Destination 1*, where the plane crashes at the beginning of the movie and the survivors that were meant to board Flight 180 one-by-one get offed by the invisible force of none other than death itself.\n\nThe rest of the gang and I were the overall stars of the medium, but the central characters were, of course, Amy and I. Perhaps this was intentional on Amy\031s part in the initial casting phase of generating the medium or selected by the program itself.\n\n\034We\031re not gonna watch the whole thing, but just pay attention to these scenes,\035 Amy said, as she moved the cursor over the timeline bar, clicking and jumping us to later scenes in the film.\n\nParticularly, all the death scenes.\n\nThe first on-screen death was Miles. In the actual movie, the character Tod ended up hanging himself in the shower due to a list of ridiculous, \034unusual\035 circumstances. We didn\031t watch the whole thing. No one wants to see their friends get murdered or killed right in front of them, even if it wasn\031t real. Knowing how Neptune was, based on recent mediums, something much more malignant was at play here.\n\nAmy clicked a few times over a specific region of the timeline, trying to jump to the right shot.\n\n\034Here,\035 she said, once she was satisfied.\n\nFor a brief second, the camera pans away from the bathroom window towards a shot of Miles choking and gasping for air as the clothesline coils tightly around his neck, his eyes bulging red.\n\nI start to turn my head to look away from the grotesque image. Thankfully, Amy quickly paused it.\n\n\034Did you notice anything slightly off?\035 Amy said.\n\nWas she joking?\n\n\034No, not at all,\035 I sarcastically remarked.\n\n\034Not the hanging part, but just before the camera moves over.\035 Amy rewinds the clip for me to see again. \034Look, pay attention to the window.\035\n\nI lean forward some more and squint my eyes, focusing hard on finding whatever it is I was supposed to be looking for. From the angle of the medium shot, the frame only captures just a little over half of the entire window, the rest of it not being able to fit onto the screen right before it pans over to the shower. \n\n\034Wait, go back,\035 I say. \n\nShe does so, and this time, I can see make out the blurred shape of someone standing outside the window, engulfed in the darkness of the night, which is when the scene takes place.\n\n\034You see it now?\035 Amy asks.\n\n\034Yeah& it\031s a person,\035 I concur.\n\n\034Any idea as to who it might be? \030Cause I do.\035\n\nLeaning forward some more, I do my best to try and get a clearer look at their face or any sort of distinct features. I could tell they were a Caucasian male, that\031s about it.\n\n\034You have your glasses, I don\031t,\035 I commented.\n\nAmy traced her finger along the monitor over the top of the figure\031s head region.\n\n\034Here, see, there\031s an outline of a beanie,\035 she noted. \034And if you look really hard, you can see that they\031re wearing what looks like a zipped-up jacket.\035\n\nMy stomach dropped at the realization.\n\n\034Frank,\035 I spoke in a low tone, perhaps even fearful.\n\n\034There\031s no denying it\031s him, and I didn\031t even cast him myself in the medium,\035 Amy pointed out.\n\nShe then jumped across to the next death scene, Kelly\031s. In the actual movie, this scene, as horrifying as it would be in real life, was undisputedly hilarious across all boards. The character Terry in the movie is in an argument with the rest of the group about moving on from the near-death experience of almost boarding the plane at the beginning of the movie, and when she heatedly walks off, telling them that they can just, \034*Drop fucking dead*,\035 she then proceeds to get hit by a bus in a fraction of a second. Takes me out every time, but that\031s beside the point.\n\nThis time, it was less funny, considering it was Kelly that fell victim to death\031s plan in the movie, but Amy shook her head, letting out a light scoff.\n\n\034This shit is so ridiculous,\035 she commented, apparently finding the scene just as silly as I did.\n\n\034Right?\035 I agreed.\n\n\034But did you notice anything else in the background?\035\n\nAnother hidden message? No, I surely didn\031t. She rewound the clip just about ten seconds before Kelly actually gets hit by the bus. My eyes began shifting in all sorts of crazy directions, looking for any sort of small clue or detail I would\031ve otherwise paid little to no attention to.\n\nThere were buildings, obviously set designs likely from Universal or Warner Bros. Studios, there were a few construction workers in the background working on part of the road, a few parked cars on the curb. I wasn\031t sure exactly what I was missing& right up until I saw it.\n\nJust before the shot in which Kelly begins stepping back into the road, far in the background, so brief that if I blinked I\031da missed it, I can see a person walking down the avenue, dressed in a zipped-up hoodie, beanie, washed-out jeans, and Chucks. \n\n\034He\031s there again,\035 I shook my head in disbelief. \034He\031s always there.\035\n\nAmy jumped to the next clip of Val, a.k.a Ms. Lewton\031s insane death in the movie, this time portrayed by Jeff\031s uncle, surprisingly.\n\n\034Did you cast his uncle yourself?\035 I questioned.\n\n\034No,\035 Amy answered. I believed her, too.\n\nThe chaotic chain of events leads to Jeff\031s Uncle Chris\031s house catching on fire and ultimately exploding after I tried to save him on-screen. Outside, Jeff watches the whole thing unfold in horror. God, it was a bit too real, from the casting of real people we knew to the impressive, realistic acting. \n\nI then remembered the experiment we did with breaking the fourth wall and making the cast improvise their lines on the fly. It brought up an interesting point; could they really be making thoughts of their own, living in their own bubble of existence through our small computer screens? If so, the overwhelmingly morbid, terrifying thought of the countless mediums we collectively generated being pocket dimensions of actors being forever trapped in a pandemonium of our own making made my skin crawl and my head spin.\n\nIt\031s important to note that after watching all of the other death scenes, with Jeff finding himself hidden in the background of every single one, all the way to the end of the movie, Amy and I were the only last two survivors. That was& interesting, to say the least.\n\n\034Well, we lived,\035 I shrugged, trying to find some humor in it all.\n\n\034Yeah, but why us?\035 Amy pondered. \034And why is Frank putting himself in the picture when uncalled for?\035\n\nI shrugged, my eyes indiscriminately pointed around the room as I tried to come up with some sort of answer, even if a half-assed one. \n\n\034Guess you care a lot about me, huh, Anthony?\035 Amy suddenly spoke.\n\n\034Huh?\035 I quickly responded, thrown off guard.\n\nAmy chuckled. \034I\031m just messing around,\035 she assured. \034I figured I must mean a lot to be able to make it all the way through the end of a horror movie with you in it.\035\n\nHowever, my wit wasn\031t up to par with hers, so I didn\031t catch on in time to the fact that she was either joking or even half-joking.\n\n\034I-I care about all of you,\035 I defended. \034Yeah, of course you, too, but all of you.\035\n\nAmy smiled. \034Yeah& but they didn\031t all make it in the end.\035\n\nThe vibration of my escalating heartbeat rang throughout my body as sweat began forming in my palms. \n\n\034Here, let me show you the next medium I made,\035 Amy thankfully moved on. \n\nYeah, I did care about her, though. A lot. \n\nA whole lot&\n\nShe clicked on the next poster in her list, which I immediately recognized as a recreation of *The Breakfast Club*. The pinkish-white background accompanied by the five stars of the film on the cover - Bender (Miles), Allison (Amy), Brian (Jeff), Claire (Kelly), and Andrew (played by myself) - was an instant eyecatcher. Honestly, it was a cool picture as well. Only difference was, I didn\031t suit the role of a jock at all, didn\031t have a letterman or nothing. I felt completely miscast. Otherwise, everyone else was damn near perfeclty fitted for their roles. Well& then there was Amy, too.\n\n\034Wow, did you cast us yourself?\035 I asked. \034Or did you let the program do it\031s thing like last time?\035\n\nShe laughed with a scoff. \034Funny you ask that,\035 she said. \034It let me choose whichever part I wanted for whichever actor, with the exception of you and I, for some reason.\035\n\nOh damn. There was a clear pattern going on here, and Neptune wasn\031t being subtle about it at all. Not to my liking, that is.\n\n\034Interesting&\035 I mustered.\n\nIf you ask me, Amy was definitely a Claire. In my eyes, anyways.\n\n\034Yeah, so is the part in the movie where the school catches on fire in the end,\035 she replied.\n\n\034What? That-That never happened. I\031ve seen that movie more than once and never remember that happening.\035\n\n\034Exactly. It didn\031t. But check this out.\035\n\nAmy fast-forwarded through the movie again, with her explaining that after sitting through the whole thing, it was a near-perfect replication of the original film. None of the lines changed, none of the blocking and mannerisms, editing, soundtrack, and so on, almost like a deepfake interpretation. Everything was the same& except for the ending.\n\nThe scene in the film where Bender climbs through the vents to sneak past Vice Principal Vernon was where things began to alternate. Instead, it was myself - playing Andrew - where I was the one crawling through the vents. However, I began to notice smoke coming through the vents, and in a panic, I fell through the ceiling (like in the actual movie) and ended up on the opposite side of the school, unlike in the actual movie where Bender ends up back in the library. In our version, I also realize that there is indeed a fire burning throughout the school, caused by reasons unknown, and the alarm begins going off. I immediately take the nearest exit and make my way out, watching the building become engulfed in the huge flames.\n\nMeanwhile, the rest of the gang try to escape by taking the exits as well, but astoundingly, the doors are locked. For whatever reason, they still had to die&\n\nOut of all the interpretations the program could make, it always ended in death&\n\n\034I\031m guessing you didn\031t write a script for this one, too?\035 I spoke, utterly bewildered by what I just watched.\n\n\034You guessed right,\035 Amy confirmed.\n\nIt took a completely innocent movie, not about violence or death whatsoever, and managed to make it that way somehow. I didn\031t understand.\n\nBut that wasn\031t all. Strangely, and eerily, the film\031s main theme in both the opening and closing credits, Simple Minds\031 *Don't You (Forget About Me)*, still played in the end, except there wasn\031t a cool, happy ending with me jumping in the air in a freeze-frame. This time, I was watching in horror at the burning building, as my friends were trapped inside. And guess who was there in the background, ever so subtle&\n\n\034There he is,\035 I pointed out.\n\nAmy didn\031t even have to show me this time, I just already knew. Standing just behind the bleachers, Frank was watching from afar.\n\nAnd there was more where that came from. Amy had many more mediums starring the five of us, even seemingly innocent ones, like *Scooby-Doo*, *Rugrats, Boy Meets World,* shows and movies where no one is supposed to die at all, where death isn\031t even a concept (well, *Boy Meets World* did get serious sometimes, death included, but I digress), all ending in death somehow, and I\031m the last survivor. Always. Frank and I.\n\n\034I can\031t take anymore,\035 I told her. \034I need a& cigarette, a joint, something, I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034You don\031t smoke, do you?\035 Amy said.\n\n\034No, but after all this, I think I want to.\035\n\n\034I don\031t blame you. No matter what I feed the program, it always ends in-\035\n\n\034Death,\035 I said with her.\n\n\034Right. And Frank\031s always in the background. I only set for it to cast us - the five of us - as the main leads, no one else. Whoever else the program cast as supporting characters or background characters it did on its own.\035\n\n\034So it chooses Frank itself each time& for a reason.\035\n\n\034Is there one?\035\n\nI shrugged. \034I mean, there has to. At this point, it\031s intentional for there not to be. Right?\035\n\nAmy tilted her head. \034That would make sense, yeah, but, unlike Fe, we have little to understanding as to how this thing really works. Like, the full capabilities and workings of it. I think we should send this to her. Have her analyze it herself and see if it might help her better find any more bugs in the coding.\035\n\n\034You speak like an IT student?\035 I lightly humored.\n\nAmy smiled. \034It was on my list of maybes. But I settled for Business. Cliche, I know.\035\n\n\034Why\031d you change?\035\n\n\034\030Cause, it just gives me more potential to open doors for other things, ya know? With that knowledge, I can make a business of my own, or at least have a better understanding of how businesses work in the corporate and non-corporate world. I hope so, anyways.\035\n\nShe really was so smart. Smarter than me, for sure& and so beautiful. \n\n\034Anywho, did *you* make any new mediums?\035 she asked. \034I know you\031re not technically supposed to, but who\031s to say they\031d know or not?\035\n\n\034Oh, uh& yeah, I did try to make one - or, *did* make one,\035 I confessed.\n\n\034Oooh,\035 she childishly teased.\n\nI chuckled a guilty smile. \034It was for research purposes, okay? Like how you\031re doing.\035\n\n\034I know. I figured you would, kinda like how you did the first time without listening?\035\n\n\034Wow, way to rub it in.\035\n\n\034Hey, don\031t kill the messenger,\035 she raised her hands. \034Nah, don\031t worry, I won\031t tell anyone. It\031ll be between us. Deal?\035\n\nI smiled. \034Yeah. Deal.\035\n\n\034So what\031d you make? What movie or TV show did you come up with this time?\035\n\n\034Uh, did you ever see *Clue*?\035\n\nHer eyes looked up, shifting left to right in thought.\n\n\034I don\031t think so. I\031ve played the board game.\035\n\n\034Well, it\031s based off the board game, literally,\035 I said. \034It\031s like a classic murder mystery, like out of an Agatha Christie novel. It\031s got Tim Curry and some other famous actors in it I can\031t remember the names of.\035\n\n\034So, you intentionally chose a murder mystery, in a program that seems to be hellbent on murder,\035 - I let out a small laugh - \034starring us, I\031m guessing? Oh no, wait, you can\031t. It won\031t let you, right?\035\n\n\034At first,\035 I pointed with my finger. \034But then, I thought why not just replace us with different actors?\035\n\n\034You recast all of us?\035 she asked, sounding slightly offended.\n\n\034It was kinda the only way. Sorry.\035\n\n\034Hmph,\035 she playfully uttered in annoyance.\n\n\034If it makes you feel any better, I cast you as Minnie Shields?\035\n\nShe was a well-known female action star who took on a plethora of different roles throughout her career, kind of like Jennifer Garner or Gal Gadot. Gorgeous woman, too.\n\n\034Really? Hmm, that makes me feel a little better. Then again, her name is \030mini shields\031.\035\n\nI scoffed in wonder, never actually realizing that until now. \n\n\034Could be worse,\035 I said. \034Could be Max& *Swords*.\035\n\nAmy winced, looking off to the side.\n\n\034I\031m sorry, humor isn\031t my thing, if you haven\031t noticed watching the-\035\n\n\034I know, it\031s all right,\035 Amy said.\n\n\034But yes, that\031s what I made.\035\n\n\034So it wouldn\031t let you make one starring us without replacing us?\035\n\n\034You make it sound so bad when you put it that way.\035\n\n\034Well, no, that makes sense. That\031s& actually pretty smart.\035\n\nAnd here I thought I was the one supposed to be giving her the compliments. Only in my head, apparently.\n\n\034Essentially, it\031s a murder mystery, starring us, played by other actors, still technically acting as *us*, since in that reality, the \030confined reality\031 or whatever, made under my account ran into a loophole in casting our real selves - gosh, that hurt my brain. Except for me, I\031m still in it.\035\n\n\034Of course.\035\n\n\034So, it\031s like an *Inception*\\-type of thing. Characters or actors within& characters within *actors*. I don\031t know how to explain it any better.\035\n\n\034I get it. So have you watched it already?\035 Amy asked.\n\nI sighed. \034No, not yet. It says it\031s gonna take 20 hours to generate.\035\n\n\034Eww, why so long?\035\n\n\034I have no idea. The movie isn\031t that long. I\031ve made longer ones that have taken less than an hour. I don\031t know what the deal is.\035\n\n\034Well, in the meantime, I could make it on mine?\035\n\nI nodded. \034You could&\035\n\n\034That way we don\031t have to be replaced by A-listers and we can just be our normal, actual selves. I\031m surprised you didn\031t just send me that idea before.\035\n\n\034Well, I didn\031t plan on telling anyone, to be honest. And, well, now you know.\035\n\n\034Eh, fuck it. We\031re already in this mess. Might as well make the most of it.\035\n\nTrue.\n\n\034Did you cast& you know, \030him\031 in it?\035 Amy said.\n\n\034Who?\035 I said confusedly.\n\n\034You know, *him*?\035\n\nI arched my brow, clueless.\n\n\034Frank?\035 she whispered.\n\n\034Why didn\031t you say that? Acting like he\031s Voldemort or something?\035\n\n\034Because, he freaks me out! Ugh, he\031s just creepy! His eyes, his stare, the way he\031s always watching.\035\n\nShe did have a point. He was creepy, no doubt about it.\n\n\034Actually, it wouldn\031t let me. It ran into another continuity error. According to Neptune, on my profile, anyways, the character Frank doesn\031t exist.\035\n\n\034What?\035\n\n\034Yeah, and, when I tried replacing him with a different actor, it said, and I quote, \030he interferes with the continuity of my user profile.\031\035\n\n\034That\031s so weird.\035\n\nAmy spun her chair to face the monitor and keyboard again, as she began to initiate the process of generating our new medium.\n\n\034When you don\031t ask for Frank, he shows up whenever he pleases, but when you specifically request him, he\031s not able to make it?\035 she went on.\n\n\034Some friend he is,\035 I dryly humored.\n\nAmy half-turned to face me again, pointing her tiny finger at me.\n\n\034That was kinda funny,\035 she commented.\n\n\034Thank you.\035\n\nThe menu layout to begin setting the specifications and rules for the medium displayed on her computer, giving her a range of options. Which actors she wishes to cast? Which genre? Which prior movie or TV show did she wish to replicate, if any, or did she want to create a new one based on the modifications provided?\n\nI provided all of the information I could remember, making sure I wasn\031t mixing up any details or leaving anything out from when I remade *Clue* on my profile. \n\n\034I don\031t even know if this is gonna work,\035 I doubtfully said.\n\n\034If *what\031s* gonna work?\035 Amy asked.\n\n\034...Well, just that. Initially, I was trying to see what Frank was gonna do if I cast him in the movie - intentionally. Now, I don\031t really know what the point of this is.\035\n\nIn her eyes, Amy understood exactly what I meant at that moment.\n\n\034You wanted to see if he was gonna murder us, weren\031t you?\035 she spoke in a low, careful tone.\n\nI nodded. \034He\031s the main suspect tied to all this,\035 I proposed. \034Everywhere he goes, death seems to follow.\035\n\n\034What better way to show it than through a murder mystery, huh?\035\n\n\034Yep.\035\n\nI could see in her eyes that she was thinking again, glancing at her notes, and then back at me.\n\n\034What?\035 I asked.\n\n\034What if,\035 - she started - \034there\031s two different outcomes on both of our Neptune profiles?\035\n\n\034Hmm?\035\n\n\034We both have two different settings, right? Chaos mode and Confined Reality mode, right? Yours might only end one way based on the \030reality\031 you\031ve given it, and mine could end any sort of way, since, ya know, it\031s \030chaos.\031\035\n\n\034Shit& we just might have to put that theory to the test, Amy.\035\n\n\034Let\031s do it.\035\n\n\034Well, that\031s if it doesn\031t take forever to generate. \030Cause when I did it, it-\035\n\n\034Done,\035 Amy cut me off.\n\n\034What?\035\n\n\034It says it\031ll only take 15 minutes to load. See?\035\n\nShe pointed at the screen, showing the loading time of 14 minutes and 23 seconds. I\031ll be damned& why did say it was gonna take all day?\n\nI buzzed my lips, baffled.\n\n\034O&kay,\035 I voiced.\n\nFrom downstairs, we both turned our attention to Amy\031s aunt calling for us.\n\n\034Amy, Anthony, dinner\031s almost ready!\035 she announced.\n\n\034Okay, Aunt Vicky! Thank you!\035 Amy called back. She then turned her attention back to me. \034You\031re staying for dinner?\035\n\n\034Oh yeah, she invited me,\035 I mentioned.\n\n\034Oh& nice. Good.\035\n\n*Good&*\n\nMy phone rang, and I looked to see that it was Jeff calling, requesting FaceTime. Odd, I think that\031s the first time he\031s ever done that if I recall. I answered.\n\n\034What\031s up?\035 I started.\n\n\034Hey& um& you did some redecorating there?\035 Jeff responded, taken aback by the various posters plastered on Amy\031s walls in the background.\n\nI looked behind me and around, confused at first as to what he was talking about.\n\n\034Oh, no, I\031m at Amy\031s place,\035 I explained.\n\n\034Yooooou\031re in Amy\031s room?\035 Jeff pried.\n\n\034... Yeah,\035 I answered.\n\nAmy then leaned into the frame. \034Hey, Jeff!\035 she waved.\n\n\034... Hi,\035 Jeff awkwardly greeted.\n\n\034Did you need something?\035 I asked.\n\n\034Um, yeah, man, peep this,\035 he said, turning the screen away from him and onto his double monitors at his desktop. \034I was reviewing the last episode of *Chaos TV!* we did - you know, the fourth wall break one that completely went to shit?\035\n\n\034Yeah,\035 Amy and I said together.\n\n\034Well, remember how everyone\031s lines seemed totally random and inconsistent?\035 We both nodded. \034I went ahead and typed them out line-by-line in a word document for me to analyze and compare to the original script we uploaded into the program, seeing if there was some sort of error we might\031ve put in somewhere that might\031ve created a bug or inconsistency that Neptune couldn\031t compute - just any sort of explanation as to why our \030actor\031 selves were acting so weird.\035\n\n\034Yeah?\035 Amy acknowledged.\n\nJeff paused for a moment, either to catch a breath or because he couldn\031t believe what he was about to tell us.\n\n\034I don\031t think the lines were as random as we first thought,\035 Jeff said. \034I think they were quite intentional.\035\n\nI then remembered the moment when Kelly\031s on-screen self jumped in to change the subject when everyone else on screen felt noticeably uncomfortable and unsure what to do next in next. I remember how bizarre that whole ordeal was, and just how spontaneous and realistic it felt, as though she actually improvised on the spot. As though she were *cognizant*&\n\n\034What did you find?\035 I asked.\n\n\034So, when I stacked the lines on top of each other in a word document, ya know, when I typed them out myself,\035 Jeff continued, \034I noticed something.\035\n\nFrom his screen looking off of my phone, I could see the manuscript taken from the lines of the episode generated by the program and onto his word document. There were a bunch of footnotes scattered across the page to the sides as well. Like Amy, Jeff was a hardcore notetaker. \n\n\034He takes better notes than me,\035 Amy mumbled.\n\nHowever, I also noticed that the beginning of each line, specifically the first letter of each sentence, was highlighted yellow. Wonder what that was about.\n\nJeff went on, \034The beginning letter of each line seems to spell out a complete sentence, starting from the page when I deliver my first one - and *only* one, really. But notice, it\031s not exactly the beginning letter of every sentence, but rather the beginning letter each time a new person starts speaking. There were two exceptions to that rule that I found, particularly with Miles and Kelly. They\031re the only ones that repeat, if that makes sense.\035\n\nIt didn\031t. Not yet, anyways. \n\nHe moved his phone closer for us to get a better look. Jeff had it typed out for us line-by-line, person-by-person, just as he explained, only typing out the first couple of words instead of typing out the whole line to save space:\n\nJEFF: *Hmmm*.\n\n*(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)*\n\nAMY: *Even though my parents&*\n\nKELLY: *Look, my folks know&*\n\nFRANK: *Parents& gotta love \030em.*\n\nANTHONY: *Uranus is the&*\n\nAMY: *Saturn isn\031t?*\n\nMILES: *\030Your\031 anus (laughs immaturely).*\n\nMILES: *Oh, I know, it\031s&*\n\nKELLY: *Ugh, such a manchild.* \n\nKELLY (looks at the camera): *C\031mon, seriously&*\n\nAMY (to Kelly): *Anna just a&*\n\nANTHONY: *Now, correct me&*\n\nAMY*: Except, technically&*\n\nKELLY: *Now which&*\n\nANTHONY (shrugs): *Don\031t know.*\n\nAMY: *That being said&*\n\nMILES: *How can we see?*\n\nAMY (nervously): *I& I, uh&*\n\nKELLY: *Sounds fine to&*\n\n\034After that, Frank kind of ruins the whole thing,\035 Jeff explains. \034After that, there\031s no more& structure, if you will, to the beginning letters forming some sort of sentence-\035\n\n\034I\031m not understanding, Jeff,\035 I cut in. \034Are you saying the beginning letters of each line - like, the *very* beginning letters - are acting like some sort of&\035\n\n\034Acronym?\035 Amy finished.\n\nI nodded. \034That word. Acronym.\035\n\n\034Exactly. The whole thing is an acronym.\035\n\nJeff opened another tab with a similar format, each line typed out on a page in script format, except this time the actor names indicating who was saying which given line were taken out. It was just the bare words.\n\n*Hmmm*.\n\n*Even though my parents&*\n\n*Look, my folks know&*\n\n*Parents& gotta love \030em.*\n\n*Uranus is the&*\n\n*Saturn isn\031t?*\n\n*\030Your\031 anus (laughs immaturely).*\n\n*Oh, I know, it\031s&*\n\n*Ugh, such a manchild.*\n\n*C\031mon, seriously&*\n\n*Anna just a&*\n\n*Now, correct me&*\n\n*Except, technically&*\n\n*Now which&*\n\n*Don\031t know.*\n\n*That being said&*\n\n*How can we see?*\n\n*I& I, uh&*\n\n*Sounds fine to&*\n\n\034I went ahead and just typed them out this way so I could further analyze it and see if I could decode something,\035 Jeff said. \034And& well&\035\n\nAmy and I squinted, leaning further towards the tiny screen on my phone to read each line individually, paying particular attention to some sort of pattern in the beginning letters.\n\n\034It could be a reach, I could just be making something out of nothing, but I don\031t know guys,\035 Jeff spoke in a foreboding, almost frightful tone.\n\nJust when he said it, it hit me right then and there. It did spell out something. But Jeff showed us another page that he\031d typed out anyways, this time spelling it out in clear English for us, the first letters of each line stacked atop one another.\n\n\034Oh my God,\035 I muttered under my breath, chilled to the bone.\n\n*H*\n\n*E*\n\n*L*\n\n*P*\n\n*U*\n\n*S*\n\n*Y*\n\n*O*\n\n*U*\n\n*C*\n\n*A*\n\n*N*\n\n*E*\n\n*N*\n\n*D*\n\n*T*\n\n*H*\n\n*I*\n\n*S*\n\n*Help us. You can end this.*
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? I've been passionately building up this world and story for over a year now, though it's scrambled across many text files on my computer. I've tried organizing it the best I could, though I can't get comfortable with it. I would try using word or pdf documents, but I feel like it would still be just as difficult to keep things clean with how many things there are to keep track of in this concept of mine.\n\nI look at sites like fandom wikis, and find the layout and organization so attractive. I find myself clicking through almost endlessly, so I wondered if you can make a fandom wiki that's completely private and offline? The answer was no, at least as far as I can tell.\n\nI tried searching for other ways to make a similar private wiki. the closest I was able to find was mediawiki, which looks a little too complicated to use to be worth it, and other 'personal wiki' programs that look more like basic note organizers rather than wiki tools.\n\nIf there's a program you know of that might be what I'm looking for, I would greatly appreciate your input.
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. This is gonna be my first trip report ever so sorry if its not very typical. Im gonna do a trip report of my trip and try to explain my friends trip a bit.\n\nThis all took place like 4 days ago. Me and 3 friends, lets call them Chris, Bam and Chanel (not their real names), planned on tripping on some LSD at Bams place. Chris had the LSD and had to work till 4 at that day. So in his lunch break we met up and he gave me enough LSD to get me to 500ug Bam to 375 ug and Chanel to 200ug. On the way to Bams place i picked up 600 mg of DXM so that me and Chris could both be on 500ug of LSD and 300mg of DXM.\n\nSo now me, Chanel and Bams were just chilling at his place.\n\nEven tho Chris had to work till 4 we proceeded to simultaneously drop at 2:45 Pm.\n\n**T+1h:** \nBecause me and Chris dropped a fairly high dose it started kicking fast and hard and Chris asked me if i could pick him up from work because he didnt want to come alone because he would be too high to catch the right bus. So i did it.\n\n**T+2h:** \nChris's work is basically right in the city center and Bams place is fairly far when going by bus, so i finally arrive at the point we were supposed to meet and through the bus window i see Chris's big ass smile and i just know the we are already high as shit.\n\n**T+2:45h:** \nWe finally arrive ad Bams place and start tripping hard, it was a nasty day it was snowing a bit it was cold as shit and just wet. so we mostly chilled inside besides smoking cigarettes. We planned on taking the DXM at the 3 hour mark so i put it on the table.\n\n**T+3h:** \nI told Chris he should take out his part of the DXM, what would've been 10 pills and i went to the toilet. We already done LSDXM a couple of times but never with this high of a dose of LSD. I assume Chris got confused and stupidly took all of it. This Motherfucker. I came back from the toilet and saw a completely empty pill storage and asked where mine where, Chris was already so high he couldnt really communicate. I dont know why but i could clearly think and Chris was basically so out that he took all of the pills. From that point on Me and Bams already knew this would be a stressful night.\n\n**T+4h:** \nMe, Bams and Chanel were smoking outside. Chris would've been smoking with us but he was already gone, ego deathing hard as fuck. i was looking inside to keep an eye on Chris, i see him taking a glass of water and accidentally spilling it on his pants. In his state he freaks out because of the water and strips off his clothes, form the stomached own he was nude lol. He was still freaking out and running around in the house, if you have ever tried to hold someone tight against his will, ego deathing, you know how much actual power there is in a human being. Me and Bams put him in a separate room and i kept an eye him. Chanel is a girl so naturally she thought Chris stripped nude because of her and i was the only one who saw what actually happened.\n\nBams and Chanel are a couple so naturally they together went upstairs, called me and told me to clean up and keep an eye on him because Chanel couldnt be around him anymore so that wouldnt happen again. Dont forget i was also tripping fucking balls at this point, i tried to explain what really happened but that shit was hard not gonna lie.\n\n**T+4.30h:** \nI cleaned up the mess Chris made, put his pants and underwear in the washer and gave him some new ones. Chris calmed down and i put a series that he was watching on his phone on, he \ncertainly didnt understand shit from the series but it calmed him down a lot. Chris is seriously addicted to nicotine so in his ego death state he wanted cigs all the time, so i just gave him one but didnt light it and that also calmed him down. I finally managed to explain what really happened and Bams and Chanel came back to us because being alone with an ego deathing person is boring as hell.\n\n**T+5h:** \nSome couple other friend came around. they were all one some Valium and weed and other shit (sadly their basically addicts). we hung out listened to music and Chris was just wondering around like a zombie basically, saying random fucking words. At one point Bams was chilling on the couch and Chris proceeds to sit on him put a leg on him and say: "aye pericoooo" obviously we laughed so fucking hard at that because that guy isnt even from Spain XD. \nI also sold the last 2 Tabs of acid to one of the guys for 20 Bucks so we could go buy cigs.\n\n**T+6h:** \nThe other guys left and now its just me, Bams, Chanel and Chris again . \nMe and Bams did a modern warfare 1v1 on King with spr only (for anyone that is interested) and i completely destroyed (25 to 8) him even tho i was on 500ug of LSD and could barely talk correctly. \nWe chilled listened to music and just tripped basically.\n\n**T+8h:** \nI dont Know how anymore but we realized that Chris was slowly coming back from his state. He was still tripping harder than any of us but he was responsive at this point.\n\n**T+9h:** \nWe asked Chris what the actual fuck happened to him and even why he took so many pills and he didnt know shit. he couldnt remember why he took so much or anything. He couldnt even remember that there were other people than us four at some point. Shit was divinely wild in his head. He repeatedly wanted me to promise him that we never do that shit again and i agreed instantly because keeping an eye on him wasnt fun either.\n\n**T+10h:** \nWe watched the Lil Peep documentary and proceeded to just chill out. At some point me and Bams went to buy cigarettes and we did some smoke breaks.\n\n**T+12h:** \nAt this point it was almost 3 am so we decided to go to sleep, i gave everyone a melatonin pill and said good night.\n\n**T 7:30 am:** \nI was the only one who had to go to work the next day so with 5 hours of sleep i cleaned up a bit and left for work. So sadly i couldnt talk to the sober Chris and let him explain everything a bit more clearly to me. \nSo yeah 500ug of LSD and 600mg of DXM is a lot. I texted with Chris and mentally right now hes doing completely fine and is just sad he couldnt "be with us" on that evening.\n\nthanks for reading lol
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere Fascinating and well-researched article about efforts to build better UK houses...\n\nNL: \n[https://www.amsterdamwoont.nl/en/actueel/build-your-dream-home-in-almere-14-more-self-build-plots-available-in-the-village-of-nobelhorst/](https://www.amsterdamwoont.nl/en/actueel/build-your-dream-home-in-almere-14-more-self-build-plots-available-in-the-village-of-nobelhorst/)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nUK: \ntop class research by Ella Jessel, full text vs paywall, **copyright** ellajessel architectsjournal\n\n*A council in Oxfordshire set out to challenge mediocre mass housing by creating a self-build haven. But is it losing its way? Ella Jessel visits Graven Hill.*\n\n*A white mansion with imposing pillars stands grandly next to a row of brick terraces. Nearby there is a Poundbury-style traditional cottage, a black house and a smattering of modern chalets with big glass windows. Someone even has their own green wall.*\n\n*On any other new housing development, such an architectural jumble would be discouraged, if not prohibited. But Graven Hill in Oxfordshire \023 the UK\031s largest self and custom build site \023 is a giant petri dish for design. It\031s an audacious bid by Cherwell District Council to turn an ex-army base near Bicester into a community of 1,900 homes.*\n\n*Since the first \030pioneers\031 arrived in a bare field in 2015, their tumultuous journeys documented on the Grand Designs spin-off The Street, hundreds of brave builders have moved to Graven Hill to have a crack at building their \030dream homes\031.* ***Inspired by the Dutch*** *self-build village of Almere, the development set out to be an antidote to the UK\031s swathes of \030cookie cutter\031 homes built by volume housebuilders.*\n\n*Today, 400 homes have been completed. As entire streets rise from the rubble, the development offers plenty of fodder for the ongoing national debate over what constitutes \030good\031 design, not to mention insight into the innate human desire to \030build big\031 (even if it means losing your own garden). It is eye-popping, bizarre and in places \023 as popular Graven Hill designer Charlie Luxton puts it \023 utterly \030joyous\031.*\n\n*But as with all experiments, there are stumbling blocks. Some residents and architects fear Graven Hill\031s latest new-build homes veer sharply away from its original experimental ethos. There is concern, too, over the build quality of its affordable housing, consigned to rows of small terraced houses, as well as frustration at the lack of community facilities.*\n\n*Graven Hill is being seen as a test case for self-build in the UK. Unlike countries such as Austria and Germany, where over half of all homes are custom built, the sector accounts for just 13,000 homes a year in Britain. Amid calls for the government to help scale up the industry, what lessons can be learned from Graven Hill?*\n\n*The first of many striking things about the site is its sheer size. Cherwell Council bought the 188ha plot from the Ministry of Defence in 2014. A short drive from Bicester Village, it has its own wetland, a wooded hill formerly used for cross-country training and is surrounded by farmland.*\n\n*Unsurprisingly, the self-build bonanza is a magnet for architects keen to fulfil ambitions to design their own homes.*\n\n*After deciding to dedicate the site to self-build, Cherwell drew up a business case and set up the wholly-owned Graven Hill Village Development Company (GHVDC) to run it. In 2015, Glenn Howells Architects drew up a masterplan that included a primary school, to be designed by Architype, a nursery and a community centre as well as shops, cafés and a pub.*\n\n*It had design codes for 11 character areas, such as \030tree-lined boulevards\031 and \030urban lanes\031, and detailed \030plot passports\031 including roof and façade material palettes, as well as maximum build heights and parking space requirements. An early batch of 10 plots was released to the 10 \030pioneer\031 residents at a cut price of £100,000 each.*\n\n*Walking around the self-build streets, the houses have far more variation than a standard housing development. But while there are zany moments \023 a stripey beach-hut house with a giraffe model lying in the driveway \023 most people have played it safer with muted colour palettes of greys and blues, oversized windows and a rash of garages.*\n\n*Unsurprisingly, the self-build bonanza is a magnet for architects keen to fulfil ambitions to design their own homes. After the \030pioneers\031, Justin Metcalfe, an associate at Purcell, and his wife Catherine were first to sign up, reserving a three-to-four bed plot in a \030rural lanes\031 character area near the site entrance for £139,000.*\n\n*\030We looked locally around Bicester and found a limited choice of three or four-bed homes around £400,000 to £500,000,\031 he says. \030Graven Hill provided a trade-off between affordability and taking on the risk of an untested housing delivery model.\031*\n\n*Justin and Catherine Metcalfe outside their self\021build home with a Charlie Luxton-designed self-build on the right*\n\n*Metcalfe designed a tall detached family home with timber-clad façade, an open-plan living and kitchen area and a large top-floor master bedroom. Planning permission was \030relatively straightforward\031, he says, as a local development order for the site means designs are usually waved through in 28 days. Under its \030Golden Brick\031 set-up, Graven Hill built the foundations at a cost of £37,000 and then the couple project managed the build themselves with help from friends and family. In total, it cost them £435,000.*\n\n*Robert DuNoyer, another architect, has realised his teenage dream of building himself a house, and used an insulated concrete formwork system clad in different materials. With his brother and a neighbour he spent two and a half years building; even pouring the concrete.*\n\n*He enjoyed it so much, he is now picking up design work from other self-builders on site. \030I\031m getting work through word of mouth and carving out a niche,\031 he says. \030I like trying to make the client happy. I get a kick out of helping self-builders.\031*\n\n*There are still no amenities on site. The shops remain boarded up and the pub is now uncertain*\n\n*But self-build is not easy and the slow pace of delivery has led Graven Hill to \030evolve\031 its original approach. \030Even delivering the first 10 \034pioneers\035 didn\031t happen the way we expected it to,\031 says GHVDC managing director Karen Curtin (one is still not yet finished). \030It became very clear that if we were going to stick to just doing self-build, we would be waiting till 2050 to deliver the site.\031*\n\n*There are still no amenities on site. The community centre is a planning obligation only triggered once the development reaches a certain number of occupations. The shops remain boarded up (though a licensed café has just been announced) and the pub is now uncertain, with GHVDC saying it has struggled to find an operator given the challenges of the pandemic. It is now proposing changes to the masterplan.*\n\n*Metcalfe says tenants are desperately needed to ensure the local centre becomes a thriving hub and believes GHVDC has added responsibility to be \030custodians for the community\031, especially as self-builders are preoccupied with their self-build plots.*\n\n*To keep the development on track, the company opted to \030diversify\031 its product offer and began delivering its own custom-build homes. But this put it on a collision course with some of the self-builders, who say it is building exactly the type of \030identikit\031 housing they were seeking to escape.*\n\n*\030You can make some changes to the internal layout, but the \\[GHVDC\\] homes are not really custom-build,\031 says Paul Troop, a lawyer and one of the \030pioneer\031 builders who made his own house from scratch with sustainable materials such as hempcrete. He and most of his neighbours objected to a row of GHVDC-designed houses being built on plots originally designated as self-build.*\n\n*He says Graven Hill was created to offer an \030alternative way of building\031 but instead it is now building \030standard\031 homes. \030It\031s a real missed opportunity because there is much that is really good about Graven Hill, and it\031s much better than most developments,\031 he remarks.*\n\n*Troop\031s neighbour Lynn Pratt had a tumultuous journey building her \030Pangolin\031 home with an oast house-inspired roundel, designed by Oxford-based Adrian James Architects. She loves her home but says the frustrations over Graven Hill\031s new direction have left her feeling as if she \030bought into a dream that now isn\031t happening\031. Pratt adds that prices are out of reach for most people, now that the larger plots cost £245,000 without foundations, and that the smaller plots are no longer available.*\n\n*Tom Bennett, an associate at London practice Studio Bark, says in the early stages it was exciting to be involved in a \030democratic\031 project that confronted the \030banality and mediocrity\031 of so many new housing estates. Studio Bark\031s black box house next to Pratt\031s \023 dubbed the \030Marmite house\031 by its neighbours \023 was a chance to flex the practice\031s creative skills and was the first project to use its U-Build modular system, designed with circular-economy principles.*\n\n*But Bennett says it appears the experimental ethos has \030gone by the wayside\031 and that self-build is no longer front and centre. \030Many of the more generic homes that have sprung up in the time since would not be out of place on a conventional estate of the type that Graven Hill was supposed to be challenging,\031 he argues.*\n\n*Curtin insists the houses it is building are \030custom-build\031 and do not all look the same. She is sympathetic to the self-builders, who, she says, have been up in the \030wilderness\031 on their own (an access road to the main site has still not been built) but argues that if the development isn\031t built, the amenities won\031t arrive. \030What some of our self-builders would like \023 and this is where you get the tensions \023 is for every house to be different,\031 she says.*\n\n*These are issues elsewhere on site, including its affordable housing element, where little effort has been made to make it tenure-blind. The first phase of 93 affordable homes are in small terraces that contrast starkly with the blingy self-builds. Residents there say it has led to a palpable sense of socio-economic divide across the scheme.*\n\n*There are also concerns over the build quality of the homes built by GHVDC. Residents in some of the shared ownership units, who wished to remain anonymous, are challenging the company over air-tightness which, they say, is causing top-floor bedrooms to be freezing in winter and boiling in summer. They claim independent tests show air leakage is significantly in excess of the rate given on their energy performance certificates.*\n\n*Passivhaus builder Beattie Passive, which built 49 homes for Graven Hill, is no longer working for the company. Its founder Ron Beattie told the AJ that, while he \030took his hat off\031 to Graven Hill for what it was trying to achieve, its margins were too tight and the programme was \030pushed to the limit\031.*\n\n*In response, GHVDC says all contractors had determined the cost and programme to deliver works. As for the shared ownership homes, it says all tests carried out met performance standards that were significantly above Building Regulations.*\n\n*Graven Hill is not getting everything right but experts in the UK\031s self-build sector point out it is being held to higher standards than most developers, and that it does not have the backing of an established industry, as schemes would in mainland Europe.*\n\n*\030Graven Hill is as successful as the typical average housebuilder in an environment that is still completely hostile to self-build,\031 says Tory MP Richard Bacon, whose report last year urged the government to scale up the sector and give people an alternative to housing \030designed by accountants\031. He says the future of self-build is in lots of small sites dotted across the country with a \030plot shop\031 in every local planning authority.*\n\n*Graven Hill\031s residents \023 already a tight-knit group thanks to their arduous building journeys \023 are adamant the scheme can recapture its experimental spirit. All it needs is a little more design expertise, and to mine one of its greatest assets: the existing community\031s energy and creativity.*\n\n*As Troop says: \030I\031ve been blown away by the number of people who are interested in helping fix things, and getting things done. If Graven Hill harnessed it, they could do really, really well.\031*\n\ncopyright ellajessel architectsjournal
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? **SOLVED**\n[*See bottom*]\n\n**BACKGROUND**\nI'm doing a *thing* where I need all the heights and weights of the S.T.A.R.S. members. So I go to the RE Wiki and everything is fine until... Until I get to the S.T.A.R.S. BRAVO Pilot, one Edward Dewey.\n\nAll the wikis I found have him labeled as 247 lbs with no further explanation given... Wat?\nGranted it also lists him as 6"4, so, already a *bit of a lad*. But even when taking his height into account, that still puts him at *medically obese*.\n\nAn obese S.T.A.R.S. member?\nI mean, it could just be a lot of muscle, but uh... He doesn't look Dwayne Johnson jacked... Which is about what he would have to be to reach a BMI that high with just muscle.\n\nSo what gives?\n\n**QUESTION**\nThe wikis all cite **Resident Evil Archives P. 135** as their source.\nI would love to verify this myself, but I don't have a copy and I can't seem to find a PDF online.\n\nWould someone who has the book (or knows where to find a PDF) please let me know what Page 135 actually has printed on it?\n\nI am really curious to know if his currently listed weight is an error that everyone just went along with, or if the book might actually explain why he is so big.\n\nThank you in advance!\n\n**PAGE 135***\nThe page contains quick blurbs of several S.T.A.R.S. members, including Edward Dewey.\n\nNot only is the weight listed on the wikis correct, but the bit of text describing him even mentions his "*imposing frame*".\n\nA big thank you to User 'No_Reply_8557' for solving this little mystery of mine!
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone I could really use some emotional advice. I'm having a really hard time with my pregnancy and wondering if I made a mistake. Not that I can do anything about it now but, here goes. \n\nMy wife and I are in our mid 30s. A good friend of ours offered to be our sperm donor. As luck would have it, I got pregnant on the first try and my wife and I were over the moon with joy. \n\nThat was 8 weeks ago. \n\nIn that time, my mother died a horrible death. My estranged grandfather died the same day and I didn't even know he was sick. My bipolar (and only) sibling stole money from me then called the police on me telling them I had killed myself (???) and when I confronted her after she blocked me and my wife on everything. My dad is a mean, irresponsibly alcoholic who lives 5 hours away. I have no other family left besides an indifferent uncle. \n\nI was hoping my in-laws would be excited for us but the opposite has proven true. My father in law thinks our gay marriage is "a joke" (he actually said this at the wedding). My mother in law resents me for "stealing" her daughter away. My brother in law and his wife show no interest in me, not sure why because we seem to get along in person. But they didn't even message me when my mom died to give condolences. When my wife asked her brother why he didn't reach out to me to say sorry or something he said "it would have been disingenuous so I didn't say anything ". Talk about a knife to the heart. They also live across the country and in the 6 years my wife and I have been together they have never ONCE come to see us. We have to fly to them to have any relationship. Neither of them have told me congratulations on the pregnancy. But they constantly talk to my wife about their new pregnancy. It hurts. Why am I nothing?\n\nYes, Sister in law is pregnant with their 2nd child, she just announced it this week. Instantly I am overshadowed. Our baby is not their bloodline. Why should they care? They are raving about the sister in law's new pregnancy. My father in law is flying across the country to see them. Mother in law is flying across the country for their current kid's birthday. They never see us, even if invited. I am invisible. \n\nWe texted the ultrasound picture to her family and got a gif in response and "neat". Nothing. Crickets. \n\nHow can I bring a baby into this world, a world that has rejected it before it's even born? I feel selfish for inflicting my desires of parenthood on this baby. I wanted to give my child a life better than mine, free from neglect and abandonment and rejection. The life I have lived. I have doomed my baby to the same lonely unwanted existence I grew up having. I am very resentful of myself right now. I do not like myself right now. Sometimes I wish I weren't gay as much as I hate to say it. Things would be so much easier. More people might love me. \n\nI wish I knew what to change to make my in laws love me. Maybe if I was less fat? Funnier? Smarter? Wealthier? I once overheard my mother in law talking about me and my family on the phone and she said "oh her family is all white trash". I know how she sees me and yet. I kept hoping. It would be nice to have some sort of mother figure. MIL once told me that my wife could never love me. It haunts me. \n\nI miss my mom. I feel empty without her. I hate how much she suffered. She eventually forgot my name, how to speak, eat. She was only 57. I even miss my crappy mean sibling. I miss the sober dad I never had. How was it that 8 weeks ago I was happier than I've ever been and now I hate myself? Does this get better? \n\nI told my wife my feelings and now she's in the other room crying about herself. I have no one to talk to. My feelings are a plague. Is this all hormones, or reality? Can I raise a baby with no family support on either side? \n\nI am so tired all the time and sick to my stomach. All I can do is cry and feel sorry for myself. Pathetic, I know. Hoping someone can give me some advice to help me back on a positive path. Thank you for your time.
## Another best friend dilemma I (17F) know her inside and out. Her vulnerabilities, insecurities, relationships to family and other friends...it's only been nine months, but since we text so much it wasn't difficult for this person to become a staple in my life, as I am one in hers.\n\nI figure I am a bit on the ace spectrum because I think I've been sexually attracted to someone once in my entire life (specifically, Eduardo from The Social Network). However, my romantic crushes have usually been quite shallow (the worst one probably being this one pianist whose language I didn't even understand, I just liked the way he played and his speaking voice and his features).\n\nAnd this girl...I've never questioned our platonic relationship before, except that she started dating this guy recently (her first romantic experience) and all of a sudden she's all I can think about. I've developed sensual attraction to her. I am seeing her good qualities with newfound appreciation; the glasses are mildly rose coloured. When she's sad, I have the newfound urge to bury her into my arms until the sadness is gone, or brainstorm extravagant gift ideas to show her how much she is loved. Sometimes I wonder about kissing her, though I don't want to have sex.\n\nIt's occurred to me that I'm pretty much emotionally monogamous with her. She's my go-to texter, and I wouldn't start an emotional relationship with anyone else because I have her. Consequently, I also can't imagine starting a romantic relationship with anyone else, because I feel like there'd be an emotional prerequisite. It wouldn't be a big stretch to initiate romance, all we'd have to do is go out more and label them dates and be more touchy with each other, all of which I would welcome.\n\nEven though she admits she'll never be as close emotionally with this guy as she is with me, her idea of romance doesn't have that emotional prerequisite. She likes feeling desired and she likes the physical intimacy, and she fulfils her emotional needs elsewhere (with me). That brought me a lot of comfort for a while ("no need to be jealous, you're still irreplaceable to her") but even knowing that I remain her confidante I find that I am still bothered.\n\nCurious thing here is that none of this intense questioning started until I started reckoning with the idea of her in a relationship that isn't mine. I know she has other close friendships but I am not jealous of those because I feel like even if she's known those close friends longer and is therefore more familiar with them, I know her deeper. I can better empathize with her thoughts.\n\nThis guy isn't a threat to deepness either, but the idea of him being with her bothers me. It may be the physical aspect or the implied monogamy of a romantic relationship or the time spent with him (even though she doesn't spend any less time with me. She has so much love to pass around, that one).\n\nI can't stand seeing them together. I want to steal her away or crush his dreams. Still, if she broke up with him, I don't know if these strange feelings would stick around. Maybe they would, and this brought them to my attention, or maybe this is pure jealousy that will be gone as soon as I have her back. Yet, I can't imagine a potential romantic relationship that, as long as I know her, isn't with her... \n\nAm I in love or am I jealous or do I just love her platonically? What am I even jealous of? Would I ever have felt like this if not for the guy? Why is it that this specific experience is so characteristically demiromantic but my past crushes haven't been? What do I do with myself?
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 **What is this?**\n\nThe idea behind the monthly community map is to share a map exchange string at the beginning of every month, and get as many people as we can to start a new world with it. Then at the end of the month (or even periodically if you'd prefer!) we share screenshots and saves of our factories so that we can see how different people approach the same spawn; how they set up their base, how they deal with aliens, and how they arrange their science, power, and everything else.\n\nI hope it can highlight how many different ways there are to do things, inspire some new designs, and maybe seeing how veteran Factorio players tackle problems will help out new players facing the exact same problems. (Of course, there's also the fact that it'll be interesting to see all of the different possible factories - the good, the bad, and the ugly.)\n\n**Last Month's Results**\n\n[March 2022 Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu0c46/factorio_community_map_results_march_2022)\n\n**The Community Map**\n\nAnother month, another map! And as promised, I have quite the interesting family of mods for this month's map. Drum roll please!\n\n...\n\nAAI Vehicles! It's such a large family of mods with such a deep, interlinked system, I always felt a bit intimidated by it, and as such, I never wound up using them. But if I never use them, I never become familiar with them, and the cycle continues. So I won't be using *all* of the AAI mods, but instead just a handful to help get acquainted with them. But that brings me to the next point:\n\n*~~I wound up having to modify quite a few of the settings for these mods - both the AAI mods and a couple others I threw in. If you're not familiar with why that's problematic, it's because not only would I have to go through each option I modified and list it here next to the mod it belongs to, but then all of you would have to go through and, one by one, change your settings to match mine. Sounds like a pain, right?~~*\n\n*~~So while I will list them all here, just so you can see them, I strongly suggest you skip past all this and just download the mod/settings sync file available under the exchange string.~~*\n\n>( a° \\<U+0096> a°) \n> \n>You've been pranked. Deceived. Quite possibly bamboozled! But now that the day of trickery has come to an end, I have a confession to make. \n> \n>While the cycle of trees into biters into burning, exploding trees and sometimes large rocks or cliffs was one of the most amazing and terrible combinations of mods I've ever seen and may well be my magnum opus of terrible maps - this is not the real map for April. \n> \n>Shocking, I know. Contain your dismay for a moment. This map shall be preserved for posterity behind a spoiler tag, so should you wish to give it a try in the future, it will still be available to you. If you would like a look at what this map could be like, here's a screenshot of mine from roughly five minutes after I'd started: [https://i.imgur.com/8FtUDwk.png](https://i.imgur.com/8FtUDwk.png) \n> \n>But now is time to stop looking to yesterday, and instead look towards tomorrow! ...Or today, rather. I hope you all had a good laugh at this stupid map I spent too much time gathering mods for, and enjoy the real AAI map - I *do* actually think it will be a fun mod and a fun map, so without further ado...\n\nWith all that said, here's the list!\n\n**Required mods:**\n\n[Informatron](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/informatron)\n\n[AAI Signals](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-signals)\n\n[AAI Programmable Vehicles](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-programmable-vehicles)\n\n[AAI Vehicles: Chaingunner](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-vehicles-chaingunner)\n\n[AAI Vehicles: Miner](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-vehicles-miner)\n\n[AAI Industry](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-industry)\n\n>!Biter Reincarnation!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Turn to tree chance: 100!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to burning tree chance: 100!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to rock chance: 50!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to cliff chance: 30!< \n> \n>>!\\- Max reincarnations per second: 20!< \n> \n>>!\\- Max reincarnation queued seconds: 10!<\n\n>!Exploding Trees!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Exploding Tree probability: 100!<\n\n>!I speak for the trees! v1.1!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Spawn Probability: 100!<\n\n>!Toxic Forest!<\n\n>!Settings: Startup:!<\n\n>>!\\- Clear Radius: 128!<\n\n>!Exchange string:!<\n\n>>!\\>>>eNp1Uz2IE0EUnmcuXHIHckUKBT1TXKOwYROV06CZsRAR0e5q3Wwm MrC7E2d3xdPCFFcqNjYK4rXm4DoLu4AgCgqHYmF3YqGFyolyNkKcmc1 s9lbvwXv7zXvf+5vdBQTopFQpfay0NOVyx0NoKE8Erw0GeMblvR4VFh c06y67Iu5Qi7OdZBpQf9lqOyE1FXVVJniQr1AMIx7s9ESC0lDOQhJvH 8/GwglY7OdzEWwvnkb9lXmto9uoOhoplWhT5itF0F8bHGkhkL6xTO1z eRAJ7lkhjSIWXG068Y1mmzlhya7Vj9tSDuYZPmdhFAuqaWXLrtmaZ+3 K6wp6LaaBu9z0Yy9iPY9RUWrUbC1l6tHrTsR4MGtfri9aLPScoFN0Pd btIlQ9s7T0Xu1OAMGtyvq5jzfvY0hmr5Ex2Bp7hm3jOW/AJbJraMGAY 5k6R7X8zICkaSRbjFklMgFJcEUFAe5+e7r6+8VGC/48+fH2YvsKhvrZ yvetxnpLBqfV9e9JzcMHSp6ZVZCpuYnHoQ8Y3rxW8hVDUWVUlCEnpBl eKCCY2yvR6h1pqgeQGa1lylQIdLVsm00+GfAO5/eQF3FKFZ9X5qUyum E6GSSQ3CNADpno/glF5jdQdobOZMNXpu3zTP/cIP++iOweOc8C+c9rm FENO6n5Ukinkfe5MW1O5DGBggKK9Uv6klPydyWlkucc0deto+lngz4/ Ouz/BXV14AU=<<<!<\n\n>!What your starting area should look like: https://i.imgur.com/0IVPY7b.jpg!<\n\n>!Sync File (Recommended): https://drive.google.com/file/d/17molFwRnsHKapvmSuWS6Evtllww7TDj0/view?usp=sharing!<\n\n>!See, I wasn't kidding - it's a lot. But I also think it'll be a lot of fun, and I hope you guys all enjoy - I know I certainly will! Looking forward to what you guys think of this one!!<\n\nThe **real** Exchange String:\n\n>\\>>>eNpjZGBksARiIGiwZ2A4YM/BkpyfmAPkAnkMDiBRruT8goLUIt38 olSgiD1EYYM9Z3JRaUqqbn4mquLUvNTcSt2kxGIUxRyZRfl56CawFpf k56GKlBSlphaDzFu9ahVYhLu0KDEvszQXohdhDwOjlACQbpED4//1DA r//4MwkPUAqAaEGRgbICqBYlDAKJucn1dSlJ+jW5xaUpKZl26Vm59ZX FJalGqVlJlYzGGgZ2RqAASsyTmZaWkMDAqOQOwE1snIWC2yzv1h1RR7 RohZeg5QxgeoyIEkmIgnjOHngFNKBcYwQTLHGAw+IzEglpYArYCq4nB AMCCSLSBJRsbet1sXfD92wY7xz8qPl3yTEuwZDV1F3n0wWmcHlGQHeY EJTsyaCQI7YV5hgJn5wB4qddOe8ewZEHhjz8gK0iECIhwsgMQBb2YGR gE+IGtBD5BQkGGAOc0OZoyIA2MaGHyD+eQxjHHZHt0fwICwARkuByJO gAiwhXCXMUKYDv0OjA7yMFlJhBKgfiMGZDekIHx4EmbtYST70RyCGRH I/kATUXHAEg1cIAtT4MQLZrhrgOF5gR3Gc5jvwMgMYoBUfQGKQXiQFA 0xCkILOICDGyYLTRviT5sWAQCzNKmk<<<\n\nWhat your starting area should **really** look like: [https://i.imgur.com/IG8JsVK.png](https://i.imgur.com/IG8JsVK.png)\n\n**Actual** Sync File: [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd4Kx5uZl1is3-CVATU-gDmVojWp3uzL/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd4Kx5uZl1is3-CVATU-gDmVojWp3uzL/view?usp=sharing)\n\nAll right, go have fun with your fancy RC cars. I'm looking forward to seeing how the chaingunner works personally, so I think I'm gonna go get on that. Later\\~\n\n**Exchange String Help**\n\nIf anyone isn't sure how to use an exchange string, just go to new game like you're going to generate a new world, and at the bottom there's a button just above play labelled "Import map exchange string" - the icon looks like a little arrow going into a tray/bucket. Just copy the exchange string above and paste it into the box that comes up when you press that button. Press confirm, and that's it! You're good to go. Just generate the world and come back in a month to show us how your factory turned out!\n\nIf you run into any issues check to make sure that you copied the whole string, including the three greater than/lesser than signs at the beginning and end, and make sure that your Factorio is up to date with the most recent version installed. (As of the time of this post, **the most recent version of Factorio is 1.1.57**.)\n\n**Having Issues With The Sync File?**\n\nIf you're uncertain how to use the sync file I provided above, here are step by step instructions:\n\n**1)** First, of course, is to download the file. Make sure you know where this file is so you can move it later. (It will be in your browser's default download folder unless you've changed it.) **2)** Locate where Factorio's save folder is on your computer. If you've installed Factorio at its default location ( C:\\\\Program Files\\\\Factorio) then there will be a shortcut to your saves folder there called "saves". Double-click it to go to the saves folder. **3)** Take the file you downloaded and move it into this folder.\n\nThat should be it! Now just launch Factorio and make sure you sync your mods to this save before playing. If you'd like to play on this save specifically (for example, if this month has some per-save settings you don't feel like messing with) then you'll notice when you load the map normally your player will be named "ChaosBeing" (since I'm the one who started the save, of course). To get around this, you can host it as a local multiplayer game and then save. You should now appear as your own character when you load the map from now on!\n\nIf you have any issues, feel free to ask in the comments below, or in the monthly map's channel on the official Factorio Discord.\n\n**Want To Play With Others?**\n\nIf you have an open public server, let me know in the comments below or send me a PM and I'll add your server here!\n\nOur MVP strikes again, with a lightning fast server ready to go! Especially on this one, if the setup seems like a hassle, go join someone who's already got it done for you! See [his comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu27i0/comment/i31df9m) below for details.\n\n**Feel Like Watching Someone Else?**\n\nIf you are a streamer or let's player who will be recording yourself building a new factory on a community map, I'd be happy to add a link to your channel here!\n\n**About Mods**\n\nSince mods can affect how a world spawns and ores are distributed, as well as add or change items and functionality, it's important to make sure that we're all playing the same game by the same rules. For example, if one person's playing vanilla and someone else is playing with Bob's mods, even if they use the same seed and map settings you still couldn't very well say they were playing the same game, and the way they'd play would differ enormously.\n\nOn the other hand, playing with mods that either don't add any new items or change terrain, or that simply don't change the base game in a significant way, aren't going to change the way you solve problems or the kinds of problems you'll face themselves. As such, these sorts of mods are perfectly fine, even if some people are playing with them and some people aren't.\n\n[Even Distribution](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/321freddy/even-distribution) is a wonderful example of a mod that, while very useful, does not inherently change the way the game is played. Then there are also mods like [RadarPlus for RSO](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/kingarthur/radarplus%20for%20rso) that *do* add new items, but still don't really change the way the game is played.\n\nI've decided to put together a list of these optional mods that I think are ok to use on any map below. The list is by no means comprehensive; it simply serves as an example of the sorts of mods that should be fine.\n\n**Optional Mods**\n\nNote: I can't imagine any situation where this could be an issue, but if you're the author of one of the mods listed here (and can offer me some proof of this) and for whatever reason would like me to remove your mod from this post, I'd be happy to comply.\n\nIt's entirely possible some of these mods either don't work with the current version of Factorio, conflict with each other, or in some manner just don't work. I can't test them all, let alone every configuration of them, so you might want to back up your world before adding one of these.\n\n[Actual Craft Time](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Actual_Craft_Time)\n\n[Ammo Alerts](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Gun_Turret_Alerts)\n\n[Armor Plating](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/vtk-armor-plating)\n\n[Atomic Artillery](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/AtomicArtillery)\n\n[Auto Deconstruct](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/mindmix/AutoDeconstruct)\n\n[Auto Infinite Research](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/auto-infinite-research)\n\n[Automatic Underground Pipe Connectors (Continued)](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Automatic_Underground_Pipe_Connectors_Continued)\n\n[Bottleneck](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/trold/Bottleneck)\n\n[Caramelldansen Lab](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/party-lab)\n\n[Clock](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Bobingabout/clock)\n\n[Closest First Updated](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/ClosestFirstUpdated)\n\n[Color Coding](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/justarandomgeek/color-coding)\n\n[Companion Drones](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Companion_Drones)\n\n[Credo Time Lapse Mod 1.1](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/CredoTimeLapseModByGalapagon)\n\n[Dirt Path](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Dirt_Path)\n\n[Disco Science](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/DiscoScience)\n\n[Ekusplosion](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Ekusplosion)\n\n[Enhanced Map Colors](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/osldgoth/Enhanced_Map_Colors)\n\n[Even Distribution](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/321freddy/even-distribution)\n\n[EvoGUI](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Narc/EvoGUI)\n\n[Extended Descriptions](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/extended-descriptions)\n\n[FARL](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/FARL)\n\n[fCPU](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/fcpu)\n\n[FindMyBody](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/findmybody)\n\n[FNEI](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/npo6ka/FNEI)\n\n[Gah! DarnItWater!](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/DaCyclops/GDIW)\n\n[Helmod](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Helfima/helmod)\n\n[HandyHands - Automatic handcrafting](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/HandyHands)\n\n[Kruise Kontrol](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Kruise_Kontrol)\n\n[Landfill Everything](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/LandfillEverything)\n\n[Logistic Gun Turret](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Logistic-Gun-Turret)\n\n[Long Reach](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Geend/long-reach)\n\n[LTN - Logistics Train Network](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/LogisticTrainNetwork)\n\n[Manual Inventory Sorting](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/theRustyKnife/manual-inventory-sort)\n\n[Max Rate Calculator](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Theanderblast/MaxRateCalculator)\n\n[Module Inserter](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/ModuleInserter)\n\n[Nanobots: Early Bots](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Nexela/Nanobots)\n\n[Natural Tree Expansion Reloaded](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/NaturalTreeExpansionReloaded_016)\n\n[NiceFill](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/nicefill)\n\n[Nixie Tubes](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/nixie-tubes)\n\n[Orphan Finder](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/GotLag/Orphan%20Finder)\n\n[OSHA - Bot Recaller](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/OSHA_BotRecaller)\n\n[Picker Extended Version](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Nexela/PickerExtended)\n\n[Queue To Front](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/QueueToFrontNG)\n\n[RadarPlus For RSO](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/kingarthur/radarplus%20for%20rso)\n\n[Reactor Interface](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Reactor%20Interface)\n\n[Recursive Blueprints](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/recursive-blueprints)\n\n[Rewire Tool](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/rewire-tool)\n\n[Robot Battery Research](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Robot_Battery_Research)\n\n[Sensible Station Names](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/dewiniaid/SensibleStationNames)\n\n[Shield FX](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Shield-FX)\n\n[Shortwave](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/shortwave)\n\n[Signal Signs](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/SignalSigns)\n\n[Slower Quickreplace](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/ChCole/Slower_Quickreplace)\n\n[Spidertron Squad Control](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Spider_Control)\n\n[Squeak Through](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Supercheese/Squeak%20Through)\n\n[Tackle's Autorun](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/tackleautorun)\n\n[Text Plates](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/textplates)\n\n[The FAT Controller](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/TheFatController)\n\n[There Is My Ghost](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/there-is-my-ghost)\n\n[Train Supply Manager (TSM)](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/train-pubsub)\n\n[Underground Indicators](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Raeon/Underground%20Indicators)\n\n[Unminable Robots](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/tyrindor/UnminableRobots)\n\n[VehicleSnap](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Zaflis/VehicleSnap)\n\n[WaiTex](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/keyboardhack/WaiTex_Full)\n\n[What is it really used for?](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Coppermine/what-is-it-really-used-for)\n\n[YARM](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Narc/YARM)\n\n**Previous Threads**\n\n**-- 2021 --**\n\n[April 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/mi7dsr/factorio_community_map_april_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/n2tabs/factorio_community_map_results_april_2021)\n\n[May 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/n2vvtw/factorio_community_map_may_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/nq6694/factorio_community_map_results_may_2021)\n\n[June 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/nq7hvc/factorio_community_map_june_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/obwy73/factorio_community_map_results_june_2021)\n\n[July 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/obyhe3/factorio_community_map_july_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/ow26n4/factorio_community_map_results_july_2021)\n\n[August 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/ow2wn2/factorio_community_map_august_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pfz5qw/factorio_community_map_results_august_2021)\n\n[September 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pg3snu/factorio_community_map_september_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pzeyrq/factorio_community_map_results_september_2021)\n\n[October-November 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pzfywl/factorio_community_map_octobernovember_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/r6eb3i/factorio_community_map_results_octobernovember)\n\n[December 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/r6w591/factorio_community_map_december_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/rtmdne/factorio_community_map_results_december_2021)\n\n**-- 2022 --**\n\n[January-February 2022](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/rtor9h/factorio_community_map_januaryfebruary_2022) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/t4gsr0/factorio_community_map_results_januaryfebruary)\n\n[March 2022](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/t4ho7g/factorio_community_map_march_2022) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu0c46/factorio_community_map_results_march_2022)
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship For firsts i am a 19 year old male. I had just turned 19 about a month ago, before that i made a post here about an old friend of mine betraying me. I brought him to the hospital after he nearly died, His mother made him say i caused his injury (it was a torn esophagus) I was mad and left. Then he tried telling me he was sorry for lying and wanted to still be friends. I said what he did was wrong and i would never do it. After that story i posted, Some of the people here said i should cut some slack and so i did.\n\nBefore my b-day i decided to contact him, I was blocked on all of his socials. He said even if i didn't want to be his friend it would still be cool to talk. I knew it was his mother, So i went to visit him in person. I went to his house with my friends and as i was pulling into his driveway. I saw a person running out the door. It was his mother and she was pissed. I crank down my window and she is screaming in my face "GET OFF MY FUCKING PROPERTY"\n\nCast: M = me | J = jake | A = Aaron | T = Tommy | M = Mark | EM = Entitled mother (all names are fake to keep things private and respectful)\n\nEM: GET OFF MY PROPERTY RIGHT NOW, MY HUSBAND IS A COP AND WILL ARREST FOR TRESPASSING!\n\nM: Listen here woman, Where is your son because i need to talk to him. Will you please calm down?\n\nA: It will only be a minute, We promise and when we are done, we will leave immediately.\n\nEM: You will not talk to my son at all, YOU HEAR ME?\n\nJake then comes out to see me and his mother "talking"\n\nJ: Mom whats goi- Rob? Is that you?\n\nM: Hi jake, I was just asking your mother if i cou-\n\nJ: Absolutely! Come on out, And mom? Can you leave us please?\n\nEM: You all have 5 minutes, Then i want you thugs gone.\n\nI bring him to the bed of my truck to show him a cupcake set in my tool chest. (Sounds sappy but at the moment i said screw it) He was happy and he asked "Yall forgive me?" Then i showed him to the front of the truck. Got down on my knee and gave him his favorite candy. Ring pop cherry. We all laughed and shook hands. EM Then came back and got real pissed.\n\nEM: Alright its been 5 minutes, Get out of here thugs.\n\nJ: mom, I am sick of your bullshit. Leave my friends alone and me as well.\n\nEM: What?\n\nJ: I saw rob text me offering to let me apologize, I was happy to see it. I decided to pack up and leave. I'm not coming back.\n\nEM: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?\n\nT: What he means is he wants to move out. Let him do so, Hes 20 years old. its his choice to make, Not yours.\n\nEM: BUT-\n\nA: Leave the kid be, He made his decision.\n\nJ: Bye mom, I hope you will understand.\n\nJake hops in my truck and we all leave, EM is shocked and never said a thing after that. Just 2 days ago, i got a call from his mother telling me she was sorry and wanted to see me and jake in person to talk. Jake said no, but i agreed saying, It should be ok. It was a good convo, We met up at a dunkin doughnuts. I gave my opinion and she took it great. She apologized and left.\n\nThen his father got mad at me, After being fired at worked. He blamed ME, I responded as nice as i can. "Look, Your son is 20. he is old enough to make his own decision. Leave him be please." He blocked me and i am still trying to get his stuff back from his parents. He was going to camp in my yard but i said "hell naw, I talked to my grandma. She wont mind you in the house. Just help out a bit and she wont mind"\n\nNow im making a plan within the next month or so. Me, Mark, jake, Tommy, Aaron will rent an apartment for a good amount of time with all the money we have. Its a decent sized apartment, 1 bed, 1 bath. Plenty of room for the 4 of us. Hopefully this should be all over soon and i hope this will end the drama.
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction The following post is the continuation of my [preparation process](https://www.reddit.com/r/Solo_Roleplaying/comments/two1pj/5e_scarlet_hero_preparation_and_necessary_for/) which I talked about earlier.When I first played my mash of 5e and Scarlet Heroes I didn't do it on camera, instead I wrote down all the rolls, while giving them some fictional flair. In a way my 5e game turned into Journal rpg, but the text itself is closer to what would you expect from Light Novel's I guess.\n\nI'm not sure I'm going to post all the entries from my journal, because I have a tendency to write about each roll in details, unless the community would be interested to read further.Which follows is an example of how can rolls be given a narrative flair.\n\nTo start out, after having a character and the possible outline of a setting (for me it was something a kin to Spelljammer but reflaffed somewhat through the vision of both Wizardry/Might and Magic fan and a Myst player) I needed some connection between the two elements. How can we integrate the character and the setting? Honestly, I had no idea, that\031s why I rolled on Adventure Tags that can be found in Scarlet Heroes, sixty adventure ideas are divided between three labels: Urban Adventure, Wilderness Adventure and Dungeon Adventure. I decided to roll one die (d6) to see from which table should I roll.\n\n1-2 Urban\n\n3-4 Wilderness\n\n5-6 Dungeon.\n\nAnd I rolled \0342\035. Which is actually good. Because, Urban adventures is the most strong part of the Scarlet Heroes ruleset in my opinion. So I roll d20 on the Adventure chartAnd I got \03418\035 \023 "Feuding families"Hmm&\n\n**Any story has a beginning. This one in particular started with a roar of engines and a yell. Though the yell came up first.**\n\n**\034HAROOOOOOOOLD!\035**\n\n**That was the only sound which I wished I hadn\031t have to hear.**\n\n**The worst thing however, was not someone, actually, was screaming my name at the top of his lungs&** \n\n***Yes, I\031m Harold, nice to meet you all, how are you all doing today?***\n\n**But I actually knew the one who was doing all the yelling.Ladies and gentlemen and, also readers, allow me to introduce you to my brother, - Ardet Kleid.**\n\n***And the only face I didn\031t wish to see that day.***\n\n**\034Yeh?\035 I could have just kept my trap shut, but instead, I indulged him. He is my brother, after all. Well, somewhat&**\n\n**\034We\031ve got problem.\035**\n\n***\034We?\035***\n\n**\034Fine,** ***I\031ve*** **got problem!\035**\n\n**\034You don\031t say\035 In all honesty, I can\031t actually remember a single day when Ardet was not neck-deep in troubles. And nine out of ten it was because of the women.**\n\n**\034Who was she this time?\035**\n\n**\034That\031s& not really important.\035 The barkeep grunted and I chuckled. You see? With an attitude of such it\031s no wonder that everyone wants his head, again, women specifically.**\n\n**Nevertheless, he continued.**\n\n**\034What really matters is her** ***brother&*****\035**\n\n**I waited him to continue. Ardet, however, kept a dramatic pause. Damn his dramatics.** \n\n **\034All right. I\031ll bite.** ***Who*** **is her brother?\035**\n\nWhile I was preparing for the adventure I've prepared a d66 table of random threats, whitch I called "BANG". \n\nI used it to find out who was Ardet running from.I got "snake eyes" - a roll of 11 \n\n**The roar of engines was the answer to my question. Though, I didn\031t think much of it at the time. In fact, I didn\031t look in my brother\031s eyes during the conversation. All my being, honestly, was interested in the stake that was oh so very close but out of reach in the hands of barkeep.**\n\n**\034Oh, not this again&\035** \n\n**The voice of a barkeep sounded both annoyed and desperate with her looking outside the window.**\n\n**\034Someone you don\031t want to see?\035**\n\n**\034Something I** ***wish*** **I didn\031t have to see anymore\035** \n\n**She turned her head acknowledging my presence. It took her afew seconds to register that she was still holding my order.**\n\n**\034Oh, sorry&\035** \n\n**Finally a plate with a steaming meat was right under my nose.**\n\n**\034Enjoy\035I was way ahead of her. I dig in as a hungry wolf.**\n\n**\034Mfankf!\035 I ate almost nothing yesterday for a whole day, so forgive me my lack of manners.** \n\n**That\031s precisely what barkeep did. If anything, she looked amused watching me butchering the meat. Even if she was far away in her thoughts. The same went to other patrons. They all looked at the door expecting the worst to come.And the worst announced its arrival kicking down the door. There were four of them walking into the bar, tough looking, sporting black leather. And louder that a pack of hunting dogs that got the scent of the fox.** **Speaking of the fox... I looked both sides, lazily. No trace of him, of course. He may be an idiot but not stupid enough to stand there and wait his certain death.**\n\nI gave Harold a chance to find where Ardet was Hiding.\\[Roll Ardet - Stealth: d20 + 3 = 4 vs. Harold\031s Passive Perception of 14\\]\n\n**I bet, he was hiding behind the barkeeps counter. Could have thought of something better, honestly&**\n\nThe roll of 11 on the "BANG" chart ment that a group of astral bikers walks into the bar.Then I roll for amount of people that entered the bar. I rolled 2d4 and got 4 (2+2)The next thing I do is ask the Orcale if that's all of them.\n\n\\[Is that all of them (Unknown)? Oracle answer: d20 = 3 \023 No!\\]\n\nThe next logical thing is to find out how many of them out there on the street, I roll 1d4 and get "4". Of course.\n\nThe next thing to determine is the attitude of the gang or rather their leader using the chart of Initial Attitude of Non-player character. Whom I detemined to be "Unfriendly".\n\nRoll of 2d6 gives me the result of "3" - Anger/Scorn. But of course.\n\n**\034Where is he?!\035 Roared the gang leader.**\n\n**\034Wferf fho?\035** \n\n**Too late I understood that I\031ve should have kept my mouth shut. Now I have their full and utmost attention.**\n\nHere I decided that Harold must roll his Sanity Save: d20 + 1. The result was "8". \n\nHe couldn't keep his mouth shut. \n\nI also concluded that this was a good oportunity to give the biker gang leader some personality. \n\n\\[Roll on NPC Table d20: 9 = Human Tribes\\]\n\n\\[Roll on Tribal Table d20: 17 = En'ma\\]\n\n\\[Roll on Age Table d4: 2 = Young and Vigorous\\]\n\nI also rolled if he was willing to answer Harold's question. \n\nAnd he may be angry towards Ardet but he sees Harold for the first time, so to the Gang Leader Harold is a "Stranger"\n\n\\[Roll on Initial Attitude Table of Strangers: 2d6 = 10 = Full Agreement\\]\n\n**The leader nailed me to my stool with his gaze& A young man, somewhere around my age. I couldn\031t help but notice the markings on the face. A pair of simple lines on cheekbones, customary to Enma. I\031ll be honest it was strange to see one of his kind choosing metal and oil over the tree, bone and water.**\n\n**\034A red haired** ***pul\031he***\\*\\*. \n\nThe ashface sports a ponytail, wears green. Has a nasty scar on the neck\035\n\n\\*\\**I waited about ten seconds swallowing a very big bite* *before* *answering as honestly as I could.*\n\n\\[Roll Harold \023 Deception: d20 + 0: 17 vs Astral Biker\031s Insight 10\\]\n\n**\034Can\031t say I did, sorry.\035 I turned to the barkeep.\034What about you? Have you seen him?\035**\n\n**The only one eye of hers that was not covered by her braids looked at me judgmentally.**\n\n**\034No. No, I haven\031t.\035 She was good she was even able to control her tail the only thing that could give her away.**\n\n**\034Are you sure you saw him?\035 The gang leader turned to one of his crownies.**\n\n**\034He should have. I mean, there are not many places where he could hide\035**\n\n**Still something not convinced he scanned the tavern like a bloodhound. It was the time to distract him somewhat.**\n\n**\034So, what this guy did anyway?\035**\n\n\\[Roll Harold Persuasion with Advantage: d20 = 8 and 10 vs Astral Biker\031s Insight 10\\] \n\nSince the barkeep and the tavern patrons decided to play along with Harold and his bluff, I decided to give character an advantage on this roll. And the next roll is very important because it determines what kind of city adventure (investigation) Harold will have go through.\n\n\\[Roll Urban Adventure Hook: d8 = 7 = **The Target faces a Calamity due to a crime committed by an Untouchable Antagonist**\\]\n\nNext thing I roll is a kind of crime which Ardet is accused of, using d6. And I got "3" - A theft.\n\nAnd to determine what kind of theft we are talking about, \n\nI roll d8, which gives me the result of "8" - "A theft of secret"\n\nNow, what kind of secret can the sister of gang leader have...\n\nHmmm...\n\n\\*\\*\034\\*\\****IT*** **stole my sister\031s name\035It took almost me the whole minute for this accusation to sink in. In a complete almost graveyard-like silence.**\n\n**\034Oh&\035**\n\n**\034Exactly. The trash like him should not breath\035**\n\n**\034I. Agree.\035**\n\nI decided to give biker a chance to find Ardet. Surprisingly, his roll was even worse than Ardets.\\[Roll Astral Biker Perception d20+0 = 3 vs Ardet Stealth: 4\\]\n\n**The gang leader cast a final glance at the tavern before signaling his flunkies to move out. But not before addressing me again.**\n\n**\034You, Greyhaired! Should you stumble upon this filth&\035**\n\n**I nod knowingly.**\n\n**\034You\031ll be the first one to know. Heck, I might even kill him myself. To save you the trouble.\035**\n\n**\034No, he\031s mine.\035** \n\n**The way he said it made it clear that he was serious about being the first to deal with him. \034But I appreciate the gesture. Didn\031t catch your name, though\035**\n\n**\034It\031s Harold\035**\n\nOne quick roll on the table of En'mas names and I ended up with result of "8" \n\n**\034Shan.\035** \n\n**And with that he left the tavern.Soon we heard a roar of engines soon to fade. The barkeep and the patrons were only happy to breath out. I couldn\031t allow myself such luxury.In one swift moment I jumped from my chair, bend over the counter and grabbed Ardet\031s collar of the jacket.**\n\n**\034We. Need. To talk&\035**\n\nAnd this is where I end this lengthy introduction and also this post.
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? My understanding is that non-mining nodes verify transactions. And that miners are also nodes but have a different role, namely adding blocks that have been verified by non-mining nodes.\n\nIs this wrong? My confusion in large part stems from this statement: \034*high hash rate is an indicator of a network's security because it* ***shows a large number of miners are verifying transactions****.*\035 Source: [Forbes](https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/hash-rate#:~:text=A%20high%20hash%20rate%20is,stories%20from%20Personal%20Finance%20Insider)\n\nThank you!
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? i make voice clones for uberduck, a text-to-speech site for character voices\n\na friend of mine asked me (ages ago) to do that for wander, but it turns out that getting good-quality clips from stereo audio is a pain (even with ultimatevocalremover or mdxnet or audo.ai or what have you)\n\nnow, [wikipedia claims](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wander_Over_Yonder) that it was broadcast in 5.1 audio, which tends to have vocals cleanly separated from music etc, but the only rip i could find is in stereo and none of the streaming sites say anything about whether they offer surround sound or not\n\ncan anyone with a copy from amazon/hulu/whatever confirm how many channels their version has? do i need to find someone who recorded it on their tv? is wikipedia just wrong?
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful!
## OG from My Friend's DM hi =° Tanisha this =\016 may seem bizarre <
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? First of all, **Rühig** villagers from the **Kingdom of Rostock**, close this now. **Thrax**, this means you. Seriously, spoilers **abound**. \n\nGone? Good. \n \n\nFor everyone else, my PCs are reaching the pinnacle of their first-tier arc. The long and short of it is an exiled Wizard has set up an illegal research laboratory in an abandoned mine near this backwater village far all of the characters are from. To continue her research, she conscripted the kobolds that resided in the mine into raiding the countryside for various odds and ends, while she separately paid a group of bandits to break into an old wizard's tower and retrieve various valuable paraphernalia. \n\nThis caused no small amount of minor mysteries in the village, which is what led the PCs to the mine in the first place. \n\nIn the next session, the players are very likely to trigger an event that will kick off the main thrust of the campaign - destabilizing an experiment that is attempting to find the appropriate frequency to essentially Plane Shift/Gate to the Far Realm, which in my game is an unknown, never before visited plane of existence. (For plot reasons, planar travel is a tightly regulated form of magic guarded by the government.)\n\nBecause this event 'kicks off' the overarching campaign plot, I want it to be very difficult, borderline impossible but with a very clear path forward to success - with potentially huge rewards if they are successful. The PCs are getting involved with things **way** over their heads and should know it. \n\nWhat I don't know is if I have vastly overcomplicated this encounter in an attempt to make it memorable, making something that is mostly frustrating mechanical nonsense, or if this actually sounds fun and engaging. \n\n**So, on to the encounter -**\n\nThere is a roughly rectangular cavern approximately 120x40 at the far end of which is a summoning circle surrounded by three focusing crystals which are focusing energy into the circle. The crystals are in a semi-circle 15 feet from the mouth of the portal. \n\nThe entrance to the experimental portal room is a Wall of Force keyed to a particular phrase. In the room prior I have sprinkled in a number of research texts alluding to the experiment and clues to the door's key are in the research notes.\n\nWhen/if the experiment is destabalized, the experimental portal breaks its confines with reality breaking down as the portal to the Far Realm grows in power and intensity. A number of black, otherworldly tentacles will erupt from the ground in the cavern and be swinging at players. Meanwhile, the portal area acts akin to a Gibbering Mouther, and creatures closer to the mouth of the portal experience time dilation and become out of sync with creatures further from the portal.\n\n-- \nTo illustrate that I have: \n\n\nZone| Effects\n---|---\nWithin 5 feet of the portal opening | **1.** Movement speed is reduced to 0. **2.** A creature takes a \0222 penalty to AC and Dexterity saving throws, and it can\031t use reactions. It can use either an action or a bonus action, not both as per [Slow](https://www.5esrd.com/database/spell/slow/). 3. The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table - The creature begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other temporal effects they may be experiencing. **4.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 18\nBetween 5 - 20 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is halved. 2. While this close to the portal you can't understand what other creatures say, can't read, and any attempts to speak out loud result in gibberish. You can still communicate with simple gestures or telepathically if that option is otherwise available to you. **3.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table- The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing **4.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 15\nBetween 20 - 40 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is reduced by 10. **2.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table- The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing. 3. The **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 10. \nBetween 40 - 80 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is reduced by 5. **2.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table - The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing. **3.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 5\n\n--\n\n**Gibbering Echoes**: *An unnatural collection of voices layered on top of each other reverberate through the cavern, penetrating the earth, stone, and air with equal ease*.\n\n--\n Each creature that starts its turn within range of the portal's field can hear the gibbering must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC determined by proximity to the portal). On a failure, the creature can't take reactions until the start of its next turn and rolls a d8 to determine what it does during its turn. On a 1 to 4, the creature does nothing. On a 5 or 6, the creature takes no action or bonus action and uses all its movement to move in a randomly determined direction. On a 7 or 8, the creature makes a melee attack against a randomly determined creature within its reach or does nothing if it can't make such an attack.\n\n--\n**Taking actions that affect a different region:**\n\n* Everything in a region **closer** to the portal then you are appears to be moving much faster than you. Physical attacks which cross a closer boundary are made at **disadvantage**. If the creature attempts to cast a spell with a casting time of 1 action across a closer boundary, roll a d20. On an 11 or higher, the spell doesn\031t take effect until the start of the creature\031s next turn.\n* Everything in a region **further** from the portal than you are appears to be moving much slower than you. Physical attacks which cross a further are made with **advantage**. You can take an additional action this turn, as though affected by Haste. \n\nThe idea here is that the closer to the unstable portal, the more time is dilated. If you cast a firebolt from 80 feet away it will appear to 'slow down' as it approaches the target. A spellcaster close to the portal shooting a firebolt out from near the portal will appear to be moving very quickly to a target further away (represented by the extra action). Shooting an arrow, or swinging a sword get similar treatments. \n\nFinally, to represent how reality is breaking down and the Far Realm is bleeding into the region is the **Temporal Dilation** table\n\n--\n\nRoll| Temporal Dilation Effect\n---|---\n1. | **The void calls**. You begin screaming, laughing, or weeping (your choice) uncontrollably for 1d4 minutes\n2. | **Reality is a dream**. You can see into every plane of existence simultaneously; you have disadvantage on all Saving Throws for the next 1d4 rounds. \n3. | **Trust the Elders**. You feel an intense urge to peer into the eye of the portal. Before taking any other actions you must use all remaining movement to move toward the portal. \n4. | **Fear them**. You begin to suffer extreme paranoia. For the next 1d4 rounds, you have disadvantage on Wisdom and Charisma skill checks\n5. | **Struck dumb**. You begin babbling incoherently for 1d4 rounds during which you are incapable of normal speech. To cast a spell with a verbal component make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw\n6. | **We can hear you**. You can hear the thoughts of every living thing within a 1-mile radius (as with detect thoughts, no intelligence limitation) for 1d4 rounds. You become aware of an immense, sprawling singular consciousness watching all of this unfold. \n7. |**Roll of the dice**. You become aware of five immensely powerful sentient beings watching you. One of the beings seems to know what you are going to do before you do it. You gain a mote of luck. When a creature with a mote of luck rolls a 1 on the d20 for an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, it can reroll the die and must use the new roll. The mote is then lost. \n8. |Prying open my third eye. You grow an ethereal third eye in the center of your forehead. You can spend an action to gain Ethereal Sight - you see 60 ft. into the Ethereal Plane on the Material Plane, and vice versa. \n9. | **Vorascious appetite**. You are wracked with a pang of hunger you cannot identify. Your next attack deals an additional 3d6 psychic damage, and you regain hit points equal to half the amount of psychic damage dealt\n10. | **Pierce the vale**. You must use your next available action to Attack the nearest creature.\n\n--\n\nProvided the Wizard (NPC [Mage](https://www.5esrd.com/gamemastering/monsters-foes/npc/spellcasters/npc-mage/) stat block) was not defeated earlier in the dungeon, they will be actively fighting to keep the portal open while standing within the 5-20 range of the portal, as its existence vindicates them (and let's face it, they're more than a little crazy at this point).\n\nMeanwhile, on Initiative Count 20 the cavern will have two lair actions:\n\n**Emerge**: The ground and rough natural walls take on a doughlike consistency, a mesmerizing rippling sheen can be seen for the briefest moment before patches of rock coalesce into slithering puckered tentacles. A tentacle emerges from the surrounding terrain (AC 10, 2 HP)\n\n**Sweeping Tentacle**: +5 to Hit. Range 20 ft. \nTwo inky, semi-transparent black and purple tentacles sweep out catching anything unfortunate enough to be in their path. If a tentacle hits a target Large or smaller creature, the creature is Grappled (escape DC 10) and pulled 20 ft toward the portal opening.\n\n**"Defeating" the Encounter**\n\n1. The players manage to reach a tuning crystal with their sanity still in place, spending an action to make a DC 10 Arcana/Nature/Religion check is sufficient to safely disable one crystal. Refocusing each crystal (3 checks total) will abruptly close the portal with an explosive force, restoring the cavern to its previous state. All of the wizard's research will be intact, as will the three focusing crystals, a diamond, pearl, and agate which are all worth 250gp each. \n\n2. The players defeat the wizard, but turn away from closing the portal, choosing to flee instead. They manage to escape freely, but when/if they return they find the summoning portal and focusing crystals are all now a crater, as though a great maw simply took a bite out of reality.\n\n3. The players are TPK'ed. The party succumbs to unconsciousness, falls through the portal, and/or dies in some combination. After some narration of drifting, disassociated through a void, they awaken beaten and bruised in the same cavern, but the summoning portal and focusing crystals are all now a crater, as though a great maw simply took a bite out of reality. The research station has been thoroughly looted by kobolds.\n\nRegardless of what happens in the encounter, the effects of the destabilized portal mean that when they emerge from the mine it will be a week later, as the effects of the wormhole to the Far Realm drastically changed how time flowed around them during the encounter.\n\n\nMeanwhile, the entire thing caught the Elder Brain, which now sees this realm as a potential new food source - it will have dispatched a scout Illithid to this new reality to begin setting up a colony, which starts the second and primary campaign arc.
## Finally using this flair I thought this moment would never happen. I told her on Friday, that I like her and she responded, that she isn't ready and still not over her ex. I was devastated the whole weekend, because she didn't text me back after I said "Idk" to "Are we cool?". My Sunday was pure depression. On Monday I felt like I forgot about her.\n\nGot a new haircut and we met with our friends. But I still had feelings for her. We were doing Tacos and I was just cooking quietly trying to ignore her. I wanted to tell her, that I don't feel like we can continue like previously and that anytime she changes her mind she could reach out for me. Well I freaked out and didn't. But then after eating Tacos, going for a walk and starting a pretty funny movie it happened.\n\nThis feels like a romantic story from a book. We were casually watching movies. A friend sat between us on the bed. She fed us with Nachos. At first it was weird to me, but then I was like why not lol. Then she left and my crush moved to me. I was like wow dayum. But then we laughed way too hard on the movie and she grabbed my arm. I felt her cold hands on me. I didn't know what to think of that. She then did it again and I thought maybe that's a signal? So when a funny scene came, I changed my position sitting closer to her and slowly put my right hand down on hers, which was around my left arm. I slowly touched her thumb with my palm and she didn't do nothing. I went further laying my palm on her hand. She still held my arm like before. Then I went with my fingers in between her fingers and my arm. She started moving her fingers around mine. We slowly then went to holding each others hands. We were tickling them a bit. Then she pulled on my hand and I used this opportunity to hold her wrist. So she held mine. Before the movie was about to end I noticed her attention wasn't really on the movie. She laughed with our friends to keep it cool and secret. Noone noticed, but it was very close. At the end of the movie we held hands with the fingers between fingers type. When the movie ended we separated and looked into our eyes. Driving back home she gave me a wave before leaving the bus looking directly into my eyes.\n\nI hope she didn't notice my boner. I feel like boners are unavoidable. So I just go along with it. She was staring either at our hands or yk... Well this was a emotional rollercoaster. From hope, to desire, to despair, to depression, to the most beautiful thing.\n\nHow would you message someone after that?
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? I met this guy through work and we started to hang out a lot but always kinda work related (but for the type of work we do, it\031s not necessary to work together so I would take that as an excuse to get to know each other lol) since two months ago. \nIt\031s a bit hard for me to tell how he thinks about me. \n\nHe isn\031t particularly flirty but we text everyday. He would share his day and ask how is mine. He only friendly touched my shoulder like three or four times when we meet in person for the past two months. But he drives me home sometimes and I def not on his way home. So I told him that I will buy him a drink for return.\n\nHe finally invited me for a drink this coming weekend. I wonder if I can consider it\031s a date? Kinda wanna get some feedback here to gauge how I should behave beforehand. :p\n\nAlso wanna get some suggestion about who pays the drink. I would love to buy him drinks but don\031t want him to have second thought or think I friendzone him. \n\nAny suggestions?
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU i thought he was my best friend. 5 months of talking every single day, hanging out every weekend.\n\nit was the best relationship i\031ve ever been in. the happiest i\031ve been, ever. but one day out of the blue he calls and says it\031s not working for him. \n\nit\031s been 11 days post BU and i finally stopped watching his stories. he of course watches all of mine.\n\nit\031s hard to have malicious feelings toward him. he did nothing wrong to me except end things without even talking about it, which i suppose is a pretty big \034fuck you\035. but before that, everything was pretty perfect. i\031ve been trying to see past the rose-colored glasses, but i still can\031t find the faults.\n\nno incident caused our breakup. i don\031t want to lose him forever, but i also don\031t want to be friends with someone that i love who apparently doesn\031t love me back.\n\ni\031ve been waiting for him to say he misses me, that he made a mistake, and i\031m not sure if that day will ever come. the last text since NC i said i didn\031t need any more explanations, i just need time to heal from this, and to let me know if he changes his mind. he obviously hasn\031t changed his mind yet.\n\nit\031s so hard because i really thought i found my best friend. i\031m gay and living in the south, so my dating pool is limited, which sucks even more.\n\nit hurts that he was so willing to give up the good morning texts, the venting, the endless memes and jokes. he said this was the healthiest relationship he\031d ever been in. so why not stay?\n\ni\031m just so confused still, i want to reach out without sounding desperate, but i\031m not sure if that\031s even possible. he sounded like he didn\031t want to cut all ties with me, and still follows me on social media, so part of me thinks that maybe we can try again. i hate that part of me right now because it\031s preventing me from moving on.\n\nthis shit sucks man. why can\031t people just express their feelings? why do i have so much love to give yet nobody reciprocates.
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place Hello everyone. I\031ve been in this subreddit for 2 years and I was just woken up for morning prayer and then went downstairs and was forced to pray at 6 in the morning. I don\031t know why, but when I got back up to my room to lay down all I could do was cry. I was reminded that for the next month I will be constantly surrounded by everything I try to suppress that makes me feel suffocated and miserable. I can\031t stand this anymore. 2 years ago I got in trouble and my parents put a full security system on my phone. They found I was in this subreddit and lectured me for 2 hours and my mom cried annoyingly and tried manipulating me like she usually does. My brother told me dad i\031m only resenting this religion because I want to do and wear what I want, that\031s very telling because narcissistic people always apply their own thought processes to speak for other people. They also found my boyfriend and my brother texted my friends asking for his info, and then texted my boyfriend harassing him. My brother then went out, my mom tried horrifying me saying my brother was going to MUG my boyfriend to try to scare me (even though you are telling me your son is going to commit a crime purely to scare me rather than be worried that your son is going to commit a crime) and my brother came back and told me to never disrespect him again (he dated a white girl for nearly a year when he was 14, the hypocrisy lol) My parents do a lot of fucked up shit i\031m coming to terms with. I was forced to go to a muslim private school against my own will when I was 13 (I purposely flunked all my classes to get out.) My parents threatened to send me off to my home country and my mom even threatened to marry me off if I wanted to be in a relationship so bad. My mom is her own fixation of complete chaos, she told me and said in front of my friend that she tried drinking tea to abort me. She compared my body next to my best friend in an attempt to fat shame me (which she usually does privately as well, I am 135 pounds.) I remember I was having an extreme mental break down over wanting to leave my private school and I called a hotline and was admitted to inpatient, my mom didn\031t care that I wanted to harm myself and was just more annoyed she had to be at the hospital. When I was very young I have reoccurring nightmares that gave me extreme insomnia and my mom just said \034I wanted to take you to an imam to help.\035 I don\031t think they\031ve ever tried actually fixing a problem outside the area of islam. My mom got me a therapist (that just so happened to be muslim, how strange!) and that therapist literally told me my parents are suffocating me and that she thinks I should dorm for college. My dad overheard this conversation (because of course a muslim girl isn\031t granted privacy, even if it is about the thoughts in her head!) and called me into his office to say it isn\031t true. Excuse me? My experience with how this household has never made me feel mentally comfortable isn\031t true? Good to know. Oh and a side note I was not granted the opportunity to dorm. I have to stay in this prison for even longer. I don\031t know what to do anymore, to add to that my family definitely has a zest for stalking me. My mom puts her ear to my door just to get a fix of her addiction of harboring my personal business and goes through my stuff just to see. A few months ago I was hanging out with 2 friends of mine and my mom was just waiting for me in the parking lot, I was so horrified and embarrassed I wanted to throw up. I have never had a sleep over and didn\031t make many friends growing up because of my parents, when I was 13 a guy friend that called me (innocently and purely just a friend) my parents heard. I didn\031t try to hide that I was calling him, I thought it was ok to call a friend. My mom came to my room all freaked out and I went downstairs to my dad. I defended myself, saying he was just a friend and told him he could even check my phone and my dad screamed at me for so long and told me to come close to his face because he is a sadist that gets off to hurting people, and he made up a rule on the spot that I am not allowed to interact with boys that he had never mentioned before. My dad loves yelling at me right in front of my mom while she sits there silently, he knows how belittling and dehumanizing it makes people feel and feeds into his sadism. I am so traumatized. I can\031t even get through typing things like this without crying and feeling so sorry for my younger self for enduring such emotional abuse. I can\031t wait for it all to end. I want to just leave me house in the middle of the night some day but I was so sheltered and deprived from the resources to learn how to be an individual. I know my boyfriend will support me and I have close friends who know of my situation who are here to help but the real world is horrifying. I just feel so lost and tired.
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? I am a recently turned 18yr old female. My step-father is a 38-39yr old male. Recently, he has been acting a bit strange. Especially towards me (I have a 15yr old sister.) He has also been calling us darling, dear, sweetheart, and saying "Love you." \n\nI am sure it is not weird for some but it is for us. We are not close like that even though we have known him for years. It is not common in this household for him to call us that but he recently started this late last year.\n\nI tried to excuse it as him trying to start acting like an actual parent. My sister and I don't like him some of the time. He is egotistical, misogynistic, lazy, and unhygienic. He also sometimes treats my mother badly. When she got her citizenship, he said "I made you."\n\nAnyways, I fought with my little sister about tardiness yesterday and my mom got involved and said something insulting to me. When I checked my phone a couple of minutes later, he had texted "I heard the fight, what your mom said was wrong. I think you where right. Love you." and felt uncomfortable about that last bit but said thank you nonetheless.\n\nHe texted back that I could always talk to him in the morning. And I got back to him later at night saying thank you again. The he wrote this "You are welcome. We should talk sometime .. maybe we can get icecream n talk on Monday just you n me."\n\nI got scared and uncomfortable and texted that my sister should join since she likes Ice Cream more than I do. Then he said this ' Sure we can all get ice cream. But after I want to talk to you about a few things." I said okay and good night.\n\nMind you, I have school on Monday and we wanted us to go out after school -some I NEVER do- alone to talk about "something." My mother would also be at work at that time and I am writing this on the Friday before. I don't know if he wants to talk then because he has works on the weekends and this makes me VERY VERY uncomfortable. \n\nAm I being too paranoid? I just talk to a friend who has been through some like this from a stepfather and it was a worse situation for her. But she seemed...indifferent? She did not share anything or give any advice. It felt like I was talking to myself and that I was overreacting. That since she went through worse, she does not see mine as anything much and an overreaction.\n\nI don't know. Please, give me some advice and incite to what could be going on. I am very sheltered and inexperienced so I might not have this right...I don't know.
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? I\031m a closeted trans woman who\031s at her breaking point, but terrified and don\031t know how to tell my (very) long term gf. We\031re not married but we\031re committed life partners. Is it wrong if I come out to a close friend of mine (who is also trans) before telling my gf? I feel like they would be able to give me valuable advice and encouragement but don\031t want to betray my gf\031s trust by not telling her first - but I also freeze up every time I try and can\031t figure out how/can\031t get up the courage. What would you do?\n\nEDIT: I texted my friend and told them&
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion I've heard a lot of explanations involving things like "the firmament" and "aether" and stuff, which I've heard to be religious, but I've also heard that flat earthers come from many different religions and spiritual beliefs.\n\nWhat are the general religious beliefs of FEs? I have a sister who's a Christian FE, and she always justifies it with religious text.\n\nI myself am a GE, and while I don't think the earth is flat, I do believe that you are entitled to your opinion, no matter how different and less common it is than mine.
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course Crash Course in UNSC ships, as well as a few Covenant ships for comparison. Wall of text time. I made this as a comment a few months back, and though that it would be a good idea to post it for more to see, with some information consolidated and added. If you wanted to know more about the scale of Halo, this is a good place to start.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSo, the UNSC has a few ship classes, which are not limited to Corvette, Prowler, Frigate, Destroyer, Cruiser, Battleship, Carrier, and Supercarrier. Some classes of ship may be omitted, and some ships are of a class that isn't known.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Corvettes are the smallest (<300 meters, usually), and were fairly useless during the Human-Covenant war since they'd get smacked by pretty much any Covenant ship, although they did decent against the Insurrection. These include the Mako and Gladius classes, and such ships as the UNSC Bum Rush, the UNSC Pony Express, and the UNSC Two For Flinching. I am not aware of these appearing in any of the mainline games.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nProwlers (<300 meters) are the special stealth ship of the Office of Naval Intelligence, and were some of the more technologically advanced ships in the UNSC fleet. While the Prowler was originally used in non-combat recon roles, they were also often equipped with nuclear mines; they could sneak in, lay a minefield, and leave without being detected, leaving a nice surprise for any Covenant fleet that happens to stumble onto it. Every single UNSC battlegroup had at least one Prowler assigned to it. These include the Sahara heavy prowler (281 meters), the Razor-class subprowler (162 meters) and the Winter-class light prowler (84 meters), with such names as the UNSC Razor's Edge, the UNSC Point Of No Return, and the UNSC Port Stanley. A Winter-class prowler makes an appearance in Halo 5.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Frigates are the next up (\\~500 meters), and are, in the games, easily the most common ship you see. They were often used in mass-assault tactics, as while weak against the Covenant on their own, they worked great with wolfpack tactics. These include the Strident, Paris, Stalwart, Charon, Anlace, and the Mulsanne. The Strident and Anlace were used by the Infinity in it's carrier bays as a mobile fleet. The Paris, Stalwart, and Charon were used during the Human-Covenant war, and the Mulsanne first appears in Halo Infinite crashed around the ring. A few of these were escorting the Infinity when it was shot down. The main 3 types (Stalwart, Charon, Paris) that we see in the games are all very close to 500. The Savannah and the Grafton from Reach are Paris-class, the Forward Unto Dawn in Halo 3 is a Charon-class, and the In Amber Clad from Halo 2 is a Stalwart-class. These include such ships as the UNSC Forward Unto Dawn, the UNSC In Amber Clad, the UNSC Savannah, the UNSC Grafton, and the UNSC Mortal Reverie.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext tier are the Destroyers (\\~450--600 meters) and while about the same length as a Frigate, they are bulkier and thus are better in a firefight. These include the Halberd, Hillsborough, and Diligence class. A particularly special Halberd destroyer is the UNSC Iroquois, which was captained by Jacob Keyes before he was put in command of the Pillar of Autumn. This class includes such ships as the UNSC Iroquois, the UNSC Do You Feel Lucky?, the UNSC Buenos Aires, and the UNSC Gorgon. I'm not aware of any of these appearing in the games.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSpeaking of the Pillar of Autumn, let's get into the next tier: Cruisers. At >1,000 meters, these served as command ships and mainline warships, and here is where we get ships that could actually do some work solo against the Covenant. These include the Halcyon, Marathon, Autumn, and Valiant classes. The Pillar of Autumn is a heavily modified Halcyon class. Halo 2 Anniversary features a few Marathon classes alongside some frigates in the opening cutscene. Admiral Preston Cole commanded a Valiant-class Super Heavy Cruiser, the UNSC Everest, when he detonated a gas giant planet and wiped out a Covenant fleet. The Autumn is a post-war design based off the Pillar of Autumn with some post-war improvements, like shields, and appeared escorting the Infinity in Halo 4. These include the UNSC Pillar of Autumn, the UNSC Say My Name, the UNSC Everest, and the UNSC Unto The Breach.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext, Battleships. There's only 1 that's appeared so far, the Vindication class. At 1,580 meters it's basically a heavy cruiser. A few appear in Halo 4.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext up, the Carriers. There's a few classes. There's the Poseidon, a \\~700 meter small carrier, and then the much larger Orion (2,220 meters) and Epoch (2,563 meters), and served as command ships. They were one of the few ship classes that could take on the heavier Covenant ships 1v1 and win, although they were rare due to size and most were destroyed in the Human-Covenant war. These include the UNSC Musashi, the UNSC Fifth Winter, the UNSC Milwaukee, and the UNSC Stalingrad.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Spirit of Fire is a retrofitted Phoenix-class colony ship (2,500 meters) and thus has production facilities onboard. I could probably class this as a Carrier.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFinally, the Supercarrier. There's only 2 classes so far, the Punic (\\~4,000 meters), and Infinity (\\~5,600 meters) classes, and there's currently 2 ships of the Infinity class. The Infinity herself, and the Eternity. The Infinity was at least heavily damaged over Installation 07, and the Eternity is incomplete as far as we know. The Infinity was originally conceived as a "last ditch ark ship" if Earth was to fall to the Covenant, and was built in secret at the far edges of the Sol system. The Punic class served during the Human-Covenant war and could also fit frigates or corvettes inside it's hangars, but most were destroyed since they were one of the few UNSC ships that were truly a hazard to the Covenant. These ships include the UNSC Infinity, UNSC Eternity, and UNSC Trafalgar.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Infinity is about the size of a CAS-class Assault Carrier, like the Shadow of Intent. Those ships are about 5km long. The Infinity was 5,694 meters long, or slightly longer than 3.5 miles. It's actually slightly larger than a CAS, but the CAS is wider. For a well-known comparison, an Imperial Star Destroyer is 1,600 meters long (1 mile). A CCS- battlecruiser like the Truth and Reconciliation is 1,782 meters long and the Covenant's SDV-class corvette seen in Halo Reach is the Ardent Prayer, coming in at 956 meters.\n\nIf I got anything wrong, please leave a comment and I'll edit it. I'd like for this to be a reliable source for anything about the UNSC fleet.
## let's make some friends :) Anyone interested in making a new, lasting friendship please introduce yourself and comment on others introductions!\n\nLet's all share a bit about ourselves and inquire about what we might find interesting about others. In the best case, a few of us walk away with a new friend or two.\n\nHere an Introduction Template in case anyone needs it:\n\nAge:\nGender:\nCountry/State: \nPersonality:\n\nAbout Me:\n\nInterests/Hobbies:\nCareer Aspirations:\nCurrent Projects:\n\nElse:\n\nPreferred Way of Communicating: (Text, Voice, RL, what Platform)\n\nI'll put mine in the comments as well x)
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal I'm not the best at introductions. I guess that's why nobody responded to my last post. Anyway, let's try this again.\n\nI guess the short of it is I'm a 26 y/o graduate student looking for a fresh start. The majority of my friends moved during the pandemic, and my few local friends I rarely get to see. Even though I still live with a wonderful, supportive family, it gets lonely sometimes. In the past, I met and befriended a couple of people on this sub. One of those pen pals became one of my best friends, and we text on a daily basis. Still, I miss our letters. I hope to find a new pen pal with whom I can share, well, anything, a friend who genuinely cares about me and has my back even if we're a thousand miles apart.\n\nI'd like to think that I'm a well-rounded person. I hold a bachelor's degree in English, and I'm pursuing a master's degree in English, as well. The dream is to teach college while I pursue a career as a writer. When I'm not studying, I enjoy watching a movie (especially horror!) or reading a book. I'm very passionate about film and literature, two hobbies that have cost me a lot of time and money. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. While I don't have much time to cook these days, I love being let loose in the kitchen, too.\n\nI'm also gay. I understand that some people will keep scrolling when they read that I'm gay. I do want to assure you that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship. And, even if being gay goes against your beliefs, I'd encourage you to get to know me. I'm not out to change anyone's beliefs. I'll respect your beliefs as long as you respect mine.\n\nIf you're interested in writing each other, please send me a short PM about yourself. I would prefer to email at first, but I'm not opposed to snail mail. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Even if we don't become pen pals, I wish you the best.
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING So I (f15) am known to have a flirty personality. I don\031t do it intentionally it\031s just the way ig I talk to people regardless of their gender. My crush (m15) who is also a friend, also has be known to be a bit flirty to towards his friends as well. For example we\031ve locked eyes before for a whole straight minute looked away and pretended it never happened. We\031ve hugged. Last school year we would work on class work sometimes. And he teases me a lot, like for example today he grabbed smt of mine and held it high and I had to kinda get a bit close in order to get it back lol. I\031ve been shipped with him by his friends and I can prolly name more instances. \n\nHe also sends goodnight texts. At first I was like OMG HE SAID A GM/GN TEXT and then I realized he sends that to all his male/female friends. Ps. He also has many female friends and I feel like he acts the same around me and them. And this is all very confusing because he a \034flirty/very kind personality\035 and I can\031t figure out if he likes me or not.\n\nSo I was wondering if yall knew the answer \n\nDoes he like me, yes or no?
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? Hey everyone, i have no clue why i am typing this but after a year or so i feel alive. Like my attention is back, back to someone who was very special. So this Saturday i met this girl with the eyes of angel. I was in clinical depression for the last year or so due to a breakup from my first love ever. And this was the first event i went out to after a long time. As i was socializing, i saw this girl in a beautiful cherry coloured dress that complemented her soooo well. Like she stood out to me. I immediately wanted to introduce myself so somehow i found a way to sneak in and to my suprise she was from my hometown e\017. Parts of me that were resting for over a year suddenly could be felt. As i continued talking she understood my humour. She laughed. Had soo much in common and in fact we went to the same university. Just typing about this is putting a smile on my face. And after 20 solid minutes of talking she asked can i have your number.\n\nI suddenly remembered what happiness feels like. And very gladly i gave mine but never asked hers in return in the fear of "indescribable feeling". 2 mins into the convo another friend joined and she asked for his number too. And that's when i realised she was just networking.\n\n\nEven though i know its close to impossible to get a message from her anytime, its been on my mind the whole day. I know i know what you are all thinking but this feeling of waiting for some magic to happen is amazing guys. I missed this soo much. And as the tile suggests i definitely do feel butterflies in the stomach. Wish me luck guys to get a text from her and ill quit this app forever to make her mine forever.\n\n\nSorry for whoever thought it was very cringe. Im not usually like this but im happy to have this feeling again you know =\005
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. This is a long post so statistically speaking there\031s a 1 in 7.5 trillion chances that someone will read this, but I am writing anyway because I need to let this out.\n\nLet me preface this by saying that I have no hate on my heart. I\031m by no means an incel, or anything remotely close to that, and never have been. I know that I am not entitled to anything. I don\031t have any negative feelings towards women or men or anybody.\n\nAnyway, I want to start off by sharing something that I find very curious: when we eat our favorite dish for the first time, it is amazing. But over time, when we get to experience it multiple times, it is not like our first time anymore. There\031s less pleasure. This also applies to traveling for the first time, getting your first pc, and many other first-time good experiences. It is still a good feeling, but it is a watered down version of the first time. I\031m sure most people can relate.\n\nHowever, this effect doesn\031t seem to apply to the emotion I feel when I experience romantic failure and rejection. After my 20-year streak I still feel it basically the same way.\n\nToday, someone I love told me they are in a relationship. In my opinion we are close, because we tell each other a lot of sensible stuff. I also thought that she liked me, because she sent me what I thought were signs, multiple times. One time she even basically said it, through a meme, and I\031m 75% sure she wasn\031t joking. Or maybe I\031m wrong, I\031ll never know for sure.\n\nMy heart feels so heavy right now. I\031m craving love. I want to love and be loved.\n\nI should say, we\031ve never met in real life. So maybe it is only because of the distance? Maybe if we lived close to each other, we would be together?\n\nFor some people this makes the whole story ridiculous. Online love? Bruh! But this is the way I feel, what can I say?\n\nThis whole experience brings me back to the first time I\031ve ever felt romantic failure.\n\nI was 6, it was about the time Windows XP came out (omegalul). I had a crush on a girl from my class. Later, this girl got with one of my friends. I don\031t know if she ever knew I liked her, I never told her. But it hurt.\n\nThat was my first taste of it, then in middle school, high school and so on, I got various other experiences where I felt my heart shattered. Not the exact same stories, but all girls I had feelings for that didn\031t feel the same way.\n\nThis has not been counterbalanced by any positive romantic experience. Never been in anything remotely close to a relationship. Not even \034hanging out\035. With the exception of a short date in 2015 (age 19) and another in 2019 (age 23), with two different girls from Tinder.\n\nWith the first girl we talked for like 2 months before the date, then no more. With the second girl we talked for 1 year before the date, and for about 1.5 year after.\n\nI think the 2019 girl initially liked me (for a short period imo), at least a bit, and then saw me as a good friend, then as a regular friend, then she realized she is lesbian (she was bi at first, her words not mine), then she distanced herself from me.\n\nShe was the first girl that held my hands, I still vividly remember the moment she grabbed both of them and started waving them to the music. We were holding each others hands and waving our arms while looking ourselves in the eye and smiling. We hugged multiple times, and this is not America so we are not touchy here, we usually don\031t hug people left and right.\n\nIt was one of the best nights of my life. Or maybe THE best night of my life, now that I think about it.\n\nEventually that ended with my heart being hurt when I lost her.\n\nFor context, she lives abroad too, I matched with her on tinder while I was at an airport for a layover. Apart from the date we only texted.\n\nBut I digress. To get back to what I was saying, for 20 straight years I\031ve never had any sort of relationship. Today I took another L when the girl I like told me she\031s in a relationship. I didn\031t ask her about it, she just mentioned it as a side note when we were talking about another unrelated topic. So I didn\031t tell her my feelings.\n\nI don\031t know where I\031m going with this, but I am starting to feel hopeless. I am afraid I will be alone forever. It\031s been 20 years, and I\031m 26. It\031s all I\031ve ever known. It is not illogical to think this way, is it?\n\nIn the stock market they say \034past performance doesn\031t predict future performance\035, but you wouldn\031t invest in a company that has been losing for the last 20 years.\n\nI want to feel love, to love someone, to be loved, to have intimacy. This is a basic human need. Humans are not made to live this way. Still, this is reality. Need isn\031t a synonym of entitlement.\n\nIn fact humans are also not made to be bombed, so I should be happy that I\031m safe at least. Maybe it is even insulting that I complain about this stuff, while others are living actual nightmares.\n\nI just feel pain and my heart is broken. I agree that it is not justified for me to feel this way about my situation, considering the atrocities that happen in the world. But my heart just feels so heavy right now. All these years, my whole youth, and no love. And now again, another one, like dj khaled would say.\n\nI remember when covid hit, and everyone started talking about the mental health effects of quarantine. I was like: \034wait, you guys are already going crazy after this baby quarantine? I\031ve been living this for years and years\035. So maybe my condition is justified? Either that, or everyone who complained about quarantine\031s loneliness is not justified. I don\031t know.\n\nI don\031t know what I\031m saying man I just want to be loved and love in return.
## My ex may have outed me to my school Me and my ex didn't end on good terms but he knows how important it is to me that no one from my school besides my friends finds out I'm a trans male(afab). I don't plan on starting to transition until after I graduate high school so for the most part people there think I'm just a normal "girl". Well recently me and my ex unfollowed each other on all social media and we've had no contact with each other at all. Come to find out a friend of mine who still follows him told me he posted something and proceeded to send me a screenshot of what it was. Now for context before I say what it was I'm new this year at school so people don't really know me I'm just known as his ex and a lot of people from our school follow him on social media. He had made a post using my preferred name and my pronouns and basically went on a rant on how his ex(me) is spreading shit. This all started because after we broke up he started dating someone new so I asked him for my stuff back. He never gave it back so I gave up on it until I remembered he still had my leatherman and I wasn't gonna let him have that. My friend offered to text him from his account and asked for it back for me since when I did it he ignored me. Others who I'm friends with know about that situation so I'm guessing he thinks I'm spreading things about him when I'm absolutely not. I just wanted my things back there's no point in keeping them when we're broken up and there was no need to name me and specify in that post that he was talking about me now I'm getting ready for school scared shitless about what may happen.
## Every memory - deleted I read a great article today that made suggestions on how to lose hope that someone you were in a relationship with will come back after the breakup. It said something like: that you have to delete everything, so that you don't dwell in that space. Dwelling and remembering the "good times" doesn't allow your brain to reset to the time before you associated the person with all the dopamine and endorphins flooding your brain.\n\n\n\nI deleted everything tonight: all the pics and videos, the 5548 text messages, and your number. I felt instant relief. If you're struggling with this ex-babe, then I want to encourage you to do the same if you haven't already. We had a decent run for the first few months, and it's ok that it didn't work out. We've both been through hell in past relationships, so just think of ours as the good one leading up to the best one. Take care. Keep creating weird random stuff and laughing at bad jokes like mine. Open yourself up to love. You deserve to be loved. Don't ever forget that! \n\n\n\n\nSorry for all the shitty things I said about you. \n\n\n\nThere are 2 things I will never get rid of though. I need to keep a part of you with me until I die. They are put away now in my BFF's house, and I will get them back when I'm ready.
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. I find so many people& typically older boomers& but a few Gen-X too& that always type like this& whether on LinkedIn& Facebook& an email& or a text message& they are in love with their three dots& it drives me nuts& did these people not go to grammar school& where did they learn to do this& some of them even have college degrees& how did they graduate writing like this& it is a pet peeve of mine& thank you for listening to my rant&
## a letter to you& bean, i miss you. i miss you more than you could ever imagine. i miss you more than anyone has ever missed anyone. i miss having you as my best friend. i miss having you in my life. \n\ni miss hearing your laugh when you thought you were annoying me, which you always did on purpose. although, i was never annoyed, i love you too much to ever be annoyed at your silliness. i know you poked fun at me out of your love for me, and i knew that, we both made fun of each other because it made us laugh. i would do anything to see you laugh and so would you. i miss the way your nose scrunched up when you giggled or thought something was gross. i miss the sweet dimples that sunk into your cheeks when you smiled at me. i miss the way your eyes smiled with you. god only knows how much i miss that goofy, sweet, loud, laugh of yours. \n\ni miss the precious moments we shared together. i miss the certainty of our whole lives being together. i miss talking to you about our futures, always with each other in them. i miss hearing about your day. i miss calling you every night, hearing you sing doja cat songs because you were obsessed with her music. i miss listening to our playlist in the car, singing our hearts out together, you always trying to get me to dance even though i was shy, i would anyway, because you made me feel safe and cared for. i miss getting that 2am text from you asking if i want to go somewhere fun. i miss getting slurpees and takis with you everytime we hungout because we were too happy together to even care about the junk we were eating. we just liked being happy together. \n\ni miss talking to you. i miss telling you about my day, and hearing about yours. i miss your voice, i miss your smell, i miss your hugs, your goodmorning texts& i miss you tremendously. i have never missed someone more than i do you, beansie. you are such a light of this world, of my world. you are such a caring, kind, selfless, compassionate, intelligent, wonderful soul and i will never know anyone like you.\n\nbean, i wish i could have done more for you. i wish i could have done anything and everything. i would have. i want you with me right now more than anything, and i am still learning how to be okay with that possibility being out of my reach. i wish i could hear your laugh, i wish i could hear your silly voice when you mock mine, because you know it made me smile.\n\nit is coming up on nine months in ten days, since this beautiful world has lost your beautiful soul. i think i am learning that you aren\031t gone, completely. you truly live on through my heart and my own soul; in the way i treat others with kindness and understanding the way you did; in the way i care for others who feel how you felt; in the way i have become a better person to honor how lovely of a person you are& were.\n\ni like listening to our music, i like thinking of you sitting next to me smiling, laughing, singing. i like imagining how life would be if you were here still. so peaceful. it\031s been hard to find peace after your death lovebug. i know that you believe in me, though. you said so the morning you did it. thank you for the voice message you left me. it has gotten me through so much. when all i need or want is you, to hear your voice, i can listen to that last message you sent me and you tell me everything i need to hear. i know that you left it for me on purpose, you knew i would need to hear how loved i am by you, that you\031ll always care for me and take care of me, \034no matter what\035. \n\nthank you for teaching me so much about this world; about love and friendship and kindness; what matters and what does not. thank you a million times and more. you will always be my best friend.\n\ni hope you knew how much i love you in those last moments you spent here with me in this world. i hope you knew how i would do anything for you to be happy& everything. i tried my best bean, and i\031m so forever eternally sorry that it was not enough to save you from your own head. you will never ever deserve what happened to you. you are not selfish. you had the biggest, nicest heart, it took you so long to do it, i know, because you didn\031t want to hurt me. you are not selfish. i understand, i love you. i always will love you. i love you so much.\n\nplease wait for me, wherever you are& even if that is just where peace resides. wait for me there. i\031ll see you again one day, i promise. until then, i miss you.e\017
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. Td;lr Fiance doesn't have good hygiene, puts us in stressful financial situations, and doesn't help out with his son. I have to constantly remind him about things that are basic everyday, adult things. I feel like his mother. This is going to be long and rambly, so sorry in advance. \n\nMe (25f) and my fiance(23m) have been together 3 years, with a 19 month old child. \nOur pregnancy wasn't planned, but we made it work, including my fiance moving from his parents house with me in my parents home. \nEver since our son was born, I feel like my fiance has lost all sense of responsibility. He works from 12pm-9pm, doesn't get up in the mornings until an hour before he has to leave, and gets home after our baby is asleep. \n\nCleanliness: Me and my mother are the main ones taking care of my son, as well as splitting chores up between the two of us. One of mine is obviously keeping my master bedroom clean. Well, no matter how hard I try, the room is always dirty. Because as soon as it's clean, my fiance starts throwing his clothes on the floor. He leaves his garbage all the room. \n\nI have to tell him to brush his teeth, otherwise he'll go weeks without and it's gross. I don't like kissing him anymore for this reason. He works in construction, and comes home reaking of oil, which I wouldn't mind if he would take care of himself afterwards. But He comes home and lays in our bed, putting that oil all over the sheets. I have to yell at him the moment he gets home to go shower, otherwise he won't do it. \n\nMoney: Aside from hygiene, he's horrible with money. I'm always the one who has to keep track of bills and be responsible with how much is spent, while he's on the side whispering in my ear about things he wants to splurge on. He spends money without any care of our finances and says "we'll be fine", when in the end, we always end up not fine because of his choices. We get paid on Fridays, and for the last 3 weeks in a row, I've ended up broke by Monday because my account went into the negative thanks to him not telling me about an old bill that he had with his phone plan suddenly hitting, in addition to whatever he spent money on against my wishes. \n\nRecklessness: Another example happened today regarding his lack of regard for our family. He doesn't have a license (I barely found about this a year ago), so I do most of the driving, except times that I can't, or I'm too tired.\nLast night he came home and said his ride can't take him to work. I suggested he call someone from work to pick him up because his job is 30 min away, we have no gas, and only 15 to put in the tank of a big family suv that gussles gas, so 15 wasn't going to do anything for it. He "can't bother them" because they all live closer to work. \n\nSide note, we recently renewed our tags, but we have to wait for them to come in the mail. We have the paper receipt proving we have registeration, but a cop won't know that. So all it takes is a cop getting behind us and decide to stop us to make sure we have registeration, and then realizing he has no license, arresting him, and impounding our only source of transportation. For this reason, I've been doing even more driving then usual. \n\nWell this morning I get up to my mom telling me he wouldn't take her up on her offer to take him to work this one time because of the tags issue. I had forgotten about it last night, and he looked at the gas in the truck, and decided that 15 was enough to get there and back, but barely. So he took our only vehicle to work knowing he doesn't have a license and risking getting stopped. \nWhen I texted him asking him why he would rather risk getting our truck towed then get a ride from my mom, he said he didn't think about it and didn't want to owe any money to her. That's the problem. He never thinks about what his actions could cost our family. I told him were going to be owing a lot more then 20$ if our truck gets taken, and when we can't pay for it, no more vehicle for us. \n\nIm a SAHM because other then grandma, there's no one to help us with our son. But I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking about getting a job anyways. If I'm going to be constantly broke and stressed, I'd rather it be because of my own doing or because I'm taking care of my son; not because I have a unbelievably irresponsible partner. \n\nChildcare: when he is home, I have to be after him to help me with our child. If it wasn't for me and grandma, this poor child would have constant diaper rashes, be starving, never take showers, and would constantly be locked in his bassinet. Because my fiance doesn't do any of those things for him without being asked, and leaves his son in the bassinet for too long instead of letting him run around the house. I can't take a day off away from my child without worrying about rather or not he'll be taken care of by his dad, so I don't. \n\nWhen I try to talk to him about it, he says he's tired from work, and he "forgets" about the things that need to be done because he's not always around to do them. \nThis is bs. I worked for a while when my baby was younger. Longer hours then him. I never came home to my child and said "I'm too tired to take care of you". I still stepped up as his mother and got him what he needed. I never neglected him using the excuse "I'm not around enough to remember.". \n\nI'm at my wits end, but I can't get a job without throwing all the responsibilities on my mother who already does a lot. I feel like the only adult in the relationship. I don't feel like I have a partner. I feel like I have a second grown child.
## I've been lying to everyone in my life i\031ve been in this hole for like two years but recently I\031ve gotten r e a l l y deep in said hole. I lost a lot of money back in December due to a real fucked up leasing / roommate situation , then I was out of work for two weeks right at the beginning of the year because I had covid. i was staying with my sister , brother in law , and my niece at the time , and we all had covid. During isolation their landlord texted them and asked them to please be out of the house by febuary because she was selling it. And they had not signed a genuine lease agreement because it was a facebook market place rental so there was no legal ground to stay in the house , we all had to leave. they had somewhere to go , I did not. No where , no other family to stay with , no friends , nothing. So a girl I had on snapchat that I had met years ago one time in passing. She mentioned she lived in a 3 bedroom student apartment and two rooms were empty so I should call the leasing office and see if I can get into one . And so I did , and I packed up my car full to the brim of everything I owned and drove to my new apartment in a whole new city, whole new state, no family, no friends, nothing. I was so fucking scared I was shaking while signing me lease agreement. Anyway I wrote a hot check to get into my apartment which I eventually ended up paying the owed balance. I was sorta stable , and I was sorta okay. And then my boyfriend of two years said it would be best if we broke up so , we did. I really felt like I was kicked while I was down , my anxiety has just been so horrible I can\031t get a job , I\031ve applied to jobs just to say I have a job but I always end up bailing because I\031m so damn anxious or I cannot bring myself to get out of bed which sounds dumb I know but it\031s like there is this invisible wall not letting me do anything Idk. I am in my own way but I won\031t fucking move it\031s SO frustrating.\n\nHere I am exactly two months later to the day of moving here , and I have never been as deep in the hole as I am now. I am trying my best to hide from the repo man because my car is too far gone to even get it under control , my rent is due for march and now April , my phone is shut off so I cannot make or receive calls , I owe too many people money Ive run out of fingers to count on , everyone back home thinks I am employed , single , and thriving , but I\031m not I\031ve been lying to everyone , to my mom , to my sister , to my dad , my friends , and its all catching up to me , pretty soon I am going to be genuinely homeless , hopefully ill be able to hang onto my car for a little bit longer if I reach that point, but thats it , I\031ve been digging myself into this nasty self pity debt hole for two months and I don\031t know how to get out , or where to even begin , I don\031t know who I am anymore , I\031m so sad , mad , and jealous . I\031m aware that its all my fault and this is all self inflicted but I just , I fucking can\031t keep this in anymore , I\031m such a liar and I never lie. And I\031m not even a good liar. I just had to get this off my chest. Part of me feels reassured because I\031m 21 and most 21 year olds fuck up and struggle but mine is all self inflicted so I don\031t feel as if its valid. I\031m almost certain I got job I\031m actually gonna love so I hope I can update this post in the future and tell y\031all I\031m doin better.
## Scrapyard Mines So there is a discussion currently about Scrapyard Mines. The current text states that scrap markers are treated as severe, hazardous Pit Trap markers. The trait of destructible is missing. People are pointing to the FAQ about Jedza and Geodes and saying that all Pit Trap markers are destructible and therefore these are as well. I believe that it was, however, deliberate to not include destructible as they are \034treated as\035 and not an actual dropped or created marker. It would also only help the opponent by giving them a free way to destroy scrap markers which in turn kills the gameplan of anyone playing Foundry or Tricksy. I need some answers here. Thanks for reading.\n\nLove this game.
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] Google doc with better formatting {[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OSIhhVX0TdL\\_Eg5PVfaV3R84UBcZYLH8B3y9k509oY0/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OSIhhVX0TdL_Eg5PVfaV3R84UBcZYLH8B3y9k509oY0/edit?usp=sharing)}\n\n \n\nThe Adopted Dragon\n\nFlavor Text: On the wind\031s breath sails tales of a fearsome dragon. One who levels kingdoms, who scorches armies, and who sits on a mountain of gold. Supposedly this dragon once took a young heir, and for years, mothers told children these stories to keep them in line. All thought it was a myth until the dragon came.\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; playfully, half-asleep\\]**\n\nYour breath is so warm mom. Cut it out.\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\nHey! I said stop. It\031s too hot! And moist? Your breath is always so dry what\031s&\n\n\\*\034Dragon\035 screams\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; alert\\]**\n\nWho are you? What happened to the cave? Why did you wrap me in cloth?\n\n\\*gasp\\*\n\nIs this rope? Are you tying me up? Oh no, mom said humans did this!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nBandages? Not rope? Are you sure? Because this seems like& Well, I guess I can still move just fine so if it is rope it's not very good. Still, it\031s pretty tight, I don\031t like having things on my scales.\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; curious\\]**\n\nSo you wrapped me up to keep me decent? What does that even mean? My scales cover my whole body like an impenetrable armor!\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nHold your tongue, human. You\031d be wise not to insult a great dragon like me. \034Don\031t have any scales\035 preposterous! What kind of dragon doesn\031t have scales?\n\n\\*listener presses the question\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; miffed\\]**\n\nI know you can\031t see my scales. Those weak human eyes are useless! I assure you my entire form is covered in regal, purple scales!\n\n\\*listener accepts\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; satisfied\\]**\n\nThat\031s right human, apologize. \034Looks like skin to me\035 idiotic! Mother didn\031t say the humans were so stupid. Now, why have you wrapped me in these, \034bandages\035? \n\n\\*listener begins\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; cutting listener off\\]**\n\nNo, don\031t even answer. First, tell me why I am in this stone cage and not free with my horde?\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubting\\]**\n\nYou say this is a castle, not a cage? Dumb and a liar! I do not fit inside castles. I am a hundred feet tall, all human buildings cower beneath me.\n\n\\*listener challenges\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nDo not speak such blasphemies! If I was shorter than you then I would not be a dragon. I can see from here that I am at least a thousand times your size. Maybe more!\n\n\\*short pause\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; slight panic\\]**\n\nWhat are you doing human? Do not approach me! I will singe you to a crisp and crush your remains you..!\n\nWhat are you doing?!\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nYes, I see that you\031ve put your chin on my head, what I mean is why are you doing that?\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; defensively\\]**\n\nTo prove I\031m short? That doesn\031t prove anything! You are probably standing on something or flying or using some dark human magiks. This is a trick!\n\n\\*listener objects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; offensively\\]**\n\nYes, it is a trick! Humans are deceitful creatures who hide behind their inventions and their numbers. They are not to be trusted.\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sheepishly\\]**\n\nWhy do I think that? I think that because& because&\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; very quietly\\]**\n\nBecause my mommy said so.\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; louder\\]**\n\nBecause my mom told me okay! I know it sounds dumb to a stupid human like you but I trust my mother with my life. If she says humans are bad then they are.\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry\\]**\n\nStop insulting me! I am not a human. If you do not stop challenging me then I will be forced to burn you!\n\n\\*listener calms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; smugly\\]**\n\nThat\031s right. No matter how dumb you are you still fear fire. Now answer my question. Why am I in this so-called \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nMy mother brought me here? So you could heal me?! Impossible! My mother is Ki-ada, The Luminous. She is the greatest healer of these millennia. She would not relinquish me to some human to be healed.\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; jostled\\]**\n\nYou say you know of my mother? Good. You know what will happen to you should you harm her prize child. \n\n\\*listener objects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubtful\\]**\n\nYou claim to have known my mother personally? \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nDeceitful, lying, fool! My mother only interacts with the noblest scholars of any race. A moron like you would never be deserving of her time. You couldn\031t even recognize that my scales were blue! How could you hope to be in her presence if you can\031t even see clearly?!\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; defensive\\]**\n\nYes, blue scales.\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\nI didn\031t say they were purple. You have the memory of a catfish! I never said my scales were any color but (stumble on the word purple then articulate blue) blue!\n\n\\*listener laughs\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nDo not laugh at me! I am a fierce and powerful dragon! You should be worshipping me!\n\n\\*listener apologizes\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; peeved\\]**\n\nI do not wish to hear your two-faced apology. I want you to answer my question instead of changing the subject. Why did my mom bring me to this \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener explains slowly\\*\n\n\\*\034Dragon make various sounds on understanding\035\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; slower than normal\\]**\n\nYou mean to tell me that my mother brought me here because you are the best healer of humans in the lands?\n\n\\*listener confirms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; back to normal\\]**\n\n\\*\034Dragon\035 scoffs\\*\n\nWell, now I know you are making this up. Humans are not good healers even amongst themselves, and I am not human at all. Bringing me here would be less than worthless. Come to think of it, I don\031t even feel injured, so this must be a ploy to keep me here. Your puny human kingdom must need protection and you hoped to extort me into doing it.\n\n\\*listener denies\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubtful\\]**\n\nYou claim I do not hurt because you already healed me? A likely story! If you are such a great healer then tell me. What did you heal me from?\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confident\\]**\n\nBurn wounds!\n\n\\*laughs\\*\n\nYou claim to have healed a dragon\031s burns? Dragons do not burn. We are entirely fireproof! I could stick my claw into your hearth\031s flame and experience no ill effects&\n\n\\*yelp\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry and scared\\]**\n\nThat fire was hot! \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nYou are not a human! You\031re a witch! Or a Lich or some other unholy monster. You stripped me of my very essence for some evil spell!\n\n\\*listener defends\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; getting aggressive\\]**\n\nYou are a stain on the rest of humanity! When my mother returns I will have her burn your \034castle\035 to the ground and-!\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; realizing\\]**\n\nDid you say my name? In my time here I did not give a name.\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry again\\]**\n\nThis proves your unholy goals! You read my mind to deceive me!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; snarkily\\]**\n\nFirst, you claim to know my mother, now you say you know me?! How could a human be so acquainted with dragons if all you do is heal in this \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener backstory\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating along\\]**\n\nMy mother trained you? And you stayed in touch? How! You can\031t send letters to a cave.\n\n\\*listener continues\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating, non-aggressive\\]**\n\nShe would visit you in the meadow because you were her favorite student? If she was visiting so often then where was I? \n\n\\*listener reveals\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating into realization\\]**\n\nHere in the castle? I was the second-born child of the King?! \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nHe thought I would usurp the throne from his firstborn so he tried to give me away? \n\n\\*listener corrects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; shocked\\]**\n\nHe was going to have me killed?! Over some stupid throne?!\n\n\\*listener continues\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; understanding\\]**\n\nSo you tried to save me by giving me to the one person you knew could protect me. My mother.\n\n\\*listener confirms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; in denial\\]**\n\nNo! My mother would have told me if my life was in danger. She would have burned that King and let me live happily!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; breaking\\]**\n\nShe didn\031t do anything to protect me? You told her the pain of knowing would be too much? And that revenge was wrong?\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; shouting\\]**\n\nAnd why would she listen to a dumb, mortal, human like you!\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\n\\*listener reveals\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; fighting tears\\]**\n\nYou were the royal medic then? You looked after me in the months before I left? So when I got hurt again, my mother brought me back to you?\n\n\\*cries\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sad and angry\\]**\n\nWhy would you tell me this? Why would you say such hurtful lies?! What did I do to deserve such cruelty?\n\n\\*listener laments\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sad and bitter\\]**\n\nIt doesn\031t matter if you thought I knew. I was a dragon.\n\n\\*sniffles\\*\n\nI am a dragon.\n\n\\*listener asks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; pulling through tears\\]**\n\nYes, okay! I guess I always kinda knew that I wasn\031t like the other hatchlings. Mom always said I was just a late bloomer. That my hair would fall out and my claws would come in later. I guess I just wanted to believe her.\n\n\\*listener comforts\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nWhy are you opening your arms human? Is this some petty joke?\n\n\\*listener denies\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nA hug? We dragons don\031t-! Well, I guess I\031m not a dragon. Fine, I\031ll \034hug\035.\n\n\\*hug\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; getting happier\\]**\n\nWow, this actually feels really nice. Like sleeping under Mom\031s wing. \n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nDon\031t think that means I forgive you human. \n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nWhen my mom comes back I\031m still going to have her burn this whole kingdom for abandoning me.\n\nI\031m just going to close my eyes and rest for a little bit until she gets back.\n\n\\*listener pets\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; Tsunderely\\]**\n\nDon\031t stroke my hair! It doesn\031t feel nice and I\031m not sleeping so, stop. Just let me lie back down on the table and leave me alone.\n\n\\*listener obliges\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; finally won\\]**\n\nThat\031s more like it. If your story is true then I\031m at least an heir to the throne, so you have to do as I say! Now, lay down here and hug me again.\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; moody\\]**\n\nDid I stutter?! Lay down and check my hair for any more burns! And don\031t stop looking through it until I say so.\n\n\\*listener strokes hair\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; happy\\]**\n\nThat\031s more like it. Now I\031m going to lay here and&\n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nAnd not sleep so don\031t think I am. Remember your eyes aren\031t as good as mine, dummy.\n\n\\*listener agrees\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sleepy\\] {Get quieter and fall asleep before finishing this idea}**\n\nYeah, not sleeping. Just staying awake and getting examined in a perfectly medical setting. Not being happy, just accepting. It\031s a lot to go through so I could rest, but I\031m not. Not sleeping. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n{Any use of this script is fine, monetized, privatized, or otherwise. A credit as SplashiestPig would be cool}
## How to back out as MOH/guest? \ntl;dr how do I tell the bride I don't want to be MOH any more?\n\nA friend of mine who I haven't seen much in the last decade asked me to be a "co maid of honor" for her wedding this August. Her bachelorette party is at the end of this month and it is out of state. I was supposed to be planning it, but she ended up booking an Airbnb and setting the plans herself without giving me the heads up. Which is fine, obviously, but I had been doing a lot of research and planning before she messaged all the girls with other ideas. \n\nAnyway. 6 girls backed out and the bride would have to pay the difference at the Airbnb she booked. So, I told her I'd try to find a different Airbnb or a hotel so that she won't have to pay the difference, and that I'll coordinate with the other bridesmaids. It's important to note that I have not met any of the bridesmaids and most live in the same city. The co-MOH sees the bride weekly, hasn't replied to any of my messages on planning, and neither her or other bridesmaids have offered money for decorations/bride gifts. \n\nI messaged the remaining 3 attendees with alternative plans (all approved by the bride). They didn't reply. I asked them for their budgets. They didn't reply. So, I sent a proposed plan of accommodations and activities. They still didn't reply so I had to send follow up messages with deadlines. I eventually was told by 2 girls it was fine, and the other that it was too pricey. By the time I got all the answers, it'd been over a week and the hotels I mentioned got booked up. \n\nI start replanning and sending options, and I let the bride know. She told me that the girls weren't responding to me because my messages aren't "concise" and I sent too much "fluff" for them to actually read what I'd said. She then tells me that she doesn't care about paying the difference in the cost of the Airbnb and never did, so things would go back to the original plans entirely. I felt pretty stupid tbh.\n\nAfter that, there were options for 2 different activities and I was getting mixed vibes so I made an executive decision. \n\nThe bride got upset and told me that the option I chose was not her first choice and that everyone was fine with the original plan, so I shouldn't be changing it. I got confused because we discussed everything before I spoke to anyone and I got so stressed that I started drafting a message to back out of the whole thing when she sent me a few apology texts, which I appreciated, so I backed off. But then this morning I got another text about how my option was "not her first choice" and doesn't understand why I picked it. I didn't pick these plans myself - we discussed everything! I told her I felt it best that she handle the rest of the planning for the bachelorette since no one was answering me anyway. \n\nAnyway, I feel really uncomfortable. The bridesmaids are all literally ignoring me. I know I seem like a hassle since it looks like I was just trying to meddle in existing plans although I let them know that all was discussed with the bride. But it still feels weird and shitty to be ignored and kind of chastised when we're all grown women. I'm contemplating just backing out of being in the wedding party and still attending the wedding if she'd let me, but because both the wedding and bachelorette are destination events, it doesn't make sense for me financially to go. I also don't know anyone else at the wedding at all, so it'll be thousands of dollars for me to have this experience of isolation essentially. So I was considering leaving myself out all together. She hasn't finalized her guest list for the venue yet, so I know that I wouldn't be costing her money on that front.\n\nI asked some other friends and my bf what I should do, and they all said I should call her and tell her because it's somehow better to discuss over the phone. I hate phone calls even for regular reasons so I would prefer to avoid this at all costs. I know that the truth is that I didn't anticipate this responsibility (finances included - the bridesmaids haven't offered to pitch in for decorations, food, brides expenses, etc.), that I'm uncomfortable, and feel like I'm not a good fit for maid of honor. Since she also has a co-MOH, I feel like it won't be too much of a loss. I anticipate this may ruin the friendship but... Idk\n\nI just need help
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? Hi everyone!\n\n I'm new to the subreddit,but not to the topic. I'm in my late 20s and have spent some time reading and journaling, trying to find out why I have such a hard time staying in a group of people or maintaining friendships. I've managed to open up to a few friends and family members, which feels like progress. However, and that's the thing, just telling people about the way I feel and analyzing my own reactions in a journal is very different from being in the situation where the things I said or wrote would have to be applied. \n\nRight now, I'm trying to get some practice with friendships. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm failing again. There is a pattern and it goes like this. \n\n1) I meet someone I get along with well and I think could make a good friend. \n\n2) I encourage them to open up to me about whatever topics they want to talk about and I get some \nsupport from them on mine as well. \n\n3) They start to see me as someone to confide in and will text me throughout the week. \n\n4) I stop telling them about the things that bother me because I don't want to minimize their troubles, \nwhich I see as greater and more valid than mine. \n\n5) I (very suddenly) get angry when they text me because I see it as a demand for me to stuff my own \nfeelings and spend time and energy to encourage them on whatever they need help with. There is \nusually a feeling of being trapped and overwhelmed and a very strong feeling of "(insert unsavory \nphase of your choice here)! How to I get rid of this person again? How do I get out of this?" \n\nI don't let them know. Usually, I will ignore their texts until the anger has died down. I feel bad about it because I am happy that they see me as a person to open up to. They deserve to talk about their feelings and receive some encouragement and I was the person who drew them out about it in the first place. I want to be the person they can trust with their feelings. \n\nOf course this becomes a cycle because every time I get back to them later, I make up some excuse why it took me so long to answer. Telling them the truth would invalidate their feelings and make it seem like sharing them was the wrong thing to do. I don't want that. But every time I make up an excuse, they continue to let me know more and more and every time I need longer and longer until I can react to them in a way I find appropriate. I have even made up excuses why I want them not to contact me for a while, because I need to come down for a bit. Things like "I really want to focus on my family over the holidays, please don't contact me until New Year." \n\n6) I give up, ignore the person more and more until they loose interest and if the don't I eventually \n block them.\n\nI feel horrible about this. I want to be there for others but when I try, I end up hurting them instead. I get really lonely but I don't see how I can change that without being a danger others. Right now I'm in stage 5 again with a new friend, and I have an excuse for ignoring them ready to go, but I don't want to start the cycle again. \n\nWhat kind of coping methods do you guys have for situations like this?
## 1 Mike\031s last minute audit of his financial contributions didn\031t inspire Ximena to resubscribe to Mike, so he\031s packing his shit and going to the hotel as directed. He asks if he can come by the next day to see if Ximena\031s mom has fallen any further into the Mama Asuelu moat of GIVE ME MONEY, and maybe by then someone will feel sorry for him. \n\n\034I have a disease,\035 Mike apps. \034It\031s called I\031m a werewolf. Once you calm down and think about it rationally, you\031ll understand why every full moon you\031re a gold-digger.\035\n\nXimena options are: a.) Say no, and listen to a remix of the same tantrum, possibly paired with a fresh refusal to leave, and escalating violence, or b.) Ask him to call her tomorrow. She goes with option B, as most people would who have experienced this kind of shit before. \n\nMike calls the next day and Ximena tells him he can\031t come by, because Amazon has finally delivered the razor wire she ordered for home security, and the neighbors are waiting with torches and sharpened garden tools. Mike nearly collapses in a swoon over this injustice, and says goodbye to everyone over the phone, while insisting he deserves more than farewell-at-a-distance from his purchased family.\n\n Mike insists that if they reunite it\031ll be on the back of Ximena\031s groveling, so the next scene is Mike messaging her in the middle of her 90DF interview. Ximena\031s interest renews with whatever he texts, so she calls him. Mike seizes opportunity, and insists they shouldn\031t break up over \034one big fight,\035 and promises they will have a house in the US, and a house in Colombia, and they can imagine who lives inside from the safety of grandpa\031s attic. \n\nXimena knows this is the drumroll to him reminding her that she\031s financially dependent on him, and anything he offers will be added to the gold digger file by the next full moon. Mike insists that won\031t be the case, and he was just angry and said some things he\031ll say again the next time he\031s angry. Production asks Ximena if she\031s actually considering this shit, and she says she doesn\031t know, while her mom makes weepy eyes while clutching a microwave. \n\nGino is trying to make it to the airport without stepping on another one of Jasmine\031s mood mines, which explains his affinity for track shorts.\n\n\034The stakes are pretty high, because if I step wrong, I\031m losing a leg,\035 Gino explains. \n\nJasmine sobs over what happened to Mahogany\031s hair, and Gino tries to pack faster than Jasmine can unpack. Jasmine marvels over his nut-hugger underwear, and Gino says he only planned to wear them 10,000 years ago, when this season first began and they were somehow talking about babies. Eventually he reaches the airport, and Jasmine is a mess, but imagines she\031ll somehow survive the horrors of seperation. \n\n\034I am like what would happen if Gone with the Wind, a telenovella, and the DSM-V rolled around at an orgy, and everyone got pregnant,\035 Jasmine sobs. \034I am what Elijah always dreamed of for himself.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t bring up the prenup,\035 Gino swallows a fart, and returns to his regularly scheduled yoinks. \034It\031s hard. You can only reschedule your flight three times, and I\031m on a budget.\035\n\n\034Right now I feel so detached from reality,\035 Jasmine is a one-woman quote machine. \034I can\031t get into Gino\031s suitcase. But I will not curse science for ruining so many lives, because it has also given us so much.\035\n\n\034I don\031t even know if she\031s acting,\035 camera #1 isn\031t sure which award to nominate her for. \034But she\031s the most interesting person I\031ve gotten to film&ever. And it was all at resorts with no one else around. Can we come back?\035\n\nMemphis and Hamza are ready to advertise successful completion of this trip\031s to-do list with matching t-shirts. Her tshirt warns that \034wife\035 isn\031t crossed off yet, so outsiders should approach this as something akin to an active shooter situation. Hamza is a mess over her looming departure, because he still has feelings, and Hayet starts crying to show us who he got them from. \n\nThey head to the airport, and the whole route Hamza is worried, sad, and anxious to arrive in the US before his child is born.\n\n\034You with me is happiness,\035 Memphis says. \n\n\034Please, do not ask your mother\031s advice on this relationship,\035 Hamza knows this is his only hope. \n\nMahogany is on the run, and Ben chases her to the getaway car. M\031Hog makes a desperate bid to banish him and accidentally spits, *God bless you!* instead of *the power of Christ compels you*, which throws a wrench in her escape. \n\n\034I\031M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY HEART!\035 Ben auditions for an 80s teen movie written by a sixty year-old pervert. \034DON\031T PLAY DEAD! IT ISN\031T FUN THAT WAY! RUN! RUN LIKE A GAZELLE! I SAID RUN!\035\n\n\034Put the camera down and HELP ME!\035 M\031Hog forgets she doesn\031t speak English, but the crew remembers they don\031t believe in souls. \n\n\034STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND READ MY PAMPHLET!\035 Ben dead-birds the glass. \034WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU, MEOWGANY? I DIDN\031T GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO LEARN YOUR NAME TO ONLY GET TO SAY IT ONE TIME!\035\n\n\034I don\031t have to read your pamphlet! I can choose to read something else!\035 M\031Hog tries to powerlock the doors. \n\n\034I\031m not going to get in,\035 Ben has been reprimanded for following a woman into a car before. \034But I want to assure you that it\031s not my fault you\031re afraid. You\031re being paranoid, when I\031m just trying to trap you for a little mandatory alone time.\035\n\n\034It is your fault I\031m afraid!\035 Mahogany looks to the producers for a weapon. \034What the FUCK, even the Hunger Games gives you tools!\035\n\n\034I think you\031re neglecting what\031s already available to you,\035 Reddit\031s active prepper community knows it\031s their time to shine. \034First, are those baton shoes, or is there a dagger hidden in the heel? Just a blunt force instrument? That\031s fine. Jam it into his eye or the base of his skull. While he\031s screaming (if you go for the eye), punch him in the balls, and then what do you still have? That\031s right. A second shoe.\035\n\nM\031Hog\031s strategy is to tell the driver to take off while Ben is still in pursuit.\n\n\034Don\031t do this. I will simply roll, get up, and start running after the car. You\031ve seen Terminator 2. You know what I\031m talking about,\035 Ben bens. \n\nM\031Hog opts to risk it, and the driver floors it. \n\n\034I DIDN\031T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS FRAGILE!\035 Ben is a human yikes.\n\n\034At the Tell-All I imagine people will have some questions about why I didn\031t grab her by the arms and shake her around like a ragdoll,\035 no one is wondering that, Ben, but thanks for triggering everyone with PTSD. \034Can I use Shaun\031s MUA, or do I have to bring my own?\035\n\nFourteen minutes ago Usman left Kim at the airport, which is enough time for him to get cracking on wifey #2, and Zara has been ID\031d as an ideal candidate. Since his swarm of frothing female fans are allegedly responsible for tearing their relationship asunder, he beats them back with a machete just before placing the call.\n\n\034Hello. Wearing this SojaBoy necklace from Kim is how I will ascend to villain status, which is my only chance for a third season,\035 Usman is himself.\n\n\034You know I don\031t do fake love,\035 says the totes authentic Zara, here to aw shucks on the right coy. \034I was sad when we broke up. We used to talk every day while Kim complained you were always on the phone. We\031d laugh, we did everything.\035 \n\n\034That\031s everything?\035 Usman yammys. \n\n\034Did you text?\035 Ben thinks it\031s never too soon for advice.\n\n\034You know we had to be apart long enough for me to get a laptop,\035 Usman is ever-smooth. They remain torn about getting back together, while Kim exists in a relationship somewhere, all by herself. \n\nAND NOW, it\031s time for Tell-All Part 1!\n\nShaun: Hey everyone! My name\031s Shaun, and I am a clone of the previous Shaun, and this is a dress we share. Who knows the punchline to THIS joke: How many racists does it take to constitute a hostile work environment?\n\nGino: (Chews face)\n\nShaun: Gino, hi. I was a big Bell-Biv-DeVoe fan, too. \n\nGino: Now you know. \n\nMike: Yo \024\n\nShaun: Mike, can you hear me?\n\nMike: Yes I \024 \n\nShaun: That means you\031re too close. Keep moving your chair back. Further&keep going&keep going further&\n\nMike: I\031m in the road!\n\nShaun: But you can still hear me, Mike! HAMZA!\n\nHamza: Hello, I am in America, and this season I am the best looking. \n\nShaun: That\031s true, so I\031m going to need you to have a seat next to Memphis\031 breasts. This will be my safe space. \n\nHamza: Mine also. \n\nJasmine: Baby, take off the hat so you can be in the good looking competition. \n\nMike: You\031ve got to take it off, buddy.\n\nGino: I\031m a fuck monster, I can cover my body in starfish and fling myself into the sea. The defense rests.\n\nMike: What\031s a fuck monster?\n\nJasmine: This is not for you to know. \n\nShaun: Hang on, let\031s go back to bullying people out of anxiety. Gino, the hat, amirite? This feels weird. I\031m better at wincing like everyone around me is a cunt-punch.\n\nGino: We\031ve established I\031m strange and impulsive, and once again you threaten my head woobie. \n\nJasmine: That is because I am the one who is volatile, and you are the one who is creepy. This is sexy to me. \n\nBen: I would not describe myself as creepy or threatening. Now, allow me to detail how to masculine.\n\nShaun: Did you say mescaline, because that makes sense.\n\nMahogany: It\031s not safe to give him attention. He is patriarrrrrrrrchy as a person.\n\nShaun: Ben, am I safe? Are the others safe? \n\nBen: I don\031t understand. What\031s an others? \n\nShaun: Like, other people. Who exist. Even if you can\031t see them. \n\nBen: I don\031t see why they would exist if I can\031t see them.\n\nProduction: Ben we\031re gonna need you to see other people. Preferably not as your subjects.\n\nBen: Is this about the homeless orphans that shared a poison cup with me after I selflessly put out the diaper fire at their transient camp, and humbly offered my own teat for them to sup from? I had no plans to join the Fun Punch Bunch, but I take full responsibility for being selfless. \n\nJasmine: No, it is about the part where you are a pervert. \n\nShaun: Lisa, hi. I can\031t imagine what you\031ve been through. Let me know if you need the name of a good exorcist. I see one after every Tell-All.\n\nLisa: Will this exorcism in any way interfere with his divine quest for an unsullied, youthful queen to sire his do-over family? Either way, please give me the name. \n\nShaun: Hang on, does anyone have children on set?!\n\nKim: Jamal is here. \n\nShaun: Can we give him special glasses so he can\031t see Ben?\n\nProduction assistant: What, with like, a douchebag filter? You know our budget is $16 and a twelve pack.\n\nShaun: Did I ask you to be poor? AND WE\031RE BACK. Ben, just like, whatever. Don\031t make me talk to Mike.\n\nBen: Kim pursued Usman kind of aggressively. That\031s a bro thing, bro.\n\nKim: What?\n\nBen: I used this in a sermon when I was a youth pastor. Men are basically predators. \n\nKim: Did he say \030men\031 or \030Ben\031, because only one of those works. \n\nBen: Men are like lions, and women are like gazelles. You don\031t want them to just lay down. That isn\031t fun. You want to play with your food.\n\nJasmine: I watch a nature special once where killer whales do this with a seal, and it was very upsetting.\n\nShaun: Ben, are you saying that you\031re trying to have sex with what you eat? There are so many drunk songs mocking the Scottish for this. \n\nLisa: Female lions hunt. It does not surprise me that Ben doesn\031t know this. He probably got lost somewhere around the mane. \n\nBen: Would I ask dinner if it wanted to be eaten? Now, let me start over with today\031s lecture, *Predator: Hunting a Woman Until She Forgets She\031s Meat.*\n\nJasmine: You must be very hungry, because you always seem to be dining alone.\n\nShaun: Jasmine, get me out of here. How many wigs do you have on?\n\nJasmine: All of them, Shaun. Do you think I leave any for the baldheaded exes of Gino?\n\nGino: Is this about to be about my hat again, because I\031m gonna need a trigger warning and an apology.\n\nJasmine: Give me the meat! I want the meat! It is so good I love it, I love your meat! The lioness will hunt, bitches!\n\nShaun: Can you keep this up for like, ten minutes? Microdosing was a mistake that can only be rectified with macro action. Have you ever used RSO as eyeliner? Shit\031s about to get weird. \n\nMike: Just have sex. \n\nShaun: See?\n\nGino: Generally, I prefer to have sex when I consent to it enthusiastically. \n\nShaun: Let\031s travel back in time to sex as a joyless duty&here comes the wavy lines and the mist&\n\nKim: I call it going after what you want. \n\nShaun: YOU\031RE STILL TOO CLOSE, MIKE!\n\nMike: I\031m using a walkie-talkie!\n\nShaun: (Give me that.) Keep going until you hear sirens! Over!\n\nMike: I\031m going to get a ticket for having a lawn chair on the freeway. Over. \n\nShaun: Zabbidy zabbidy zob! Over!\n\nJasmine: What the fuck, Shaun?\n\nShaun: I just need him to believe I\031m losing the signal. Stop it, Ben.\n\nBen: But I was just getting to the climax.\n\nKim: Is that why the temperature dropped?\n\nMemphis: Are we still talking about sex? Cause me need pee pee in my wee wee so Memphis go boom boom. \n\nElla: I know you guys want to get back to my cheating, so OKAY, I guess I\031ll fess up! I\031m not trying to BRAG, but if I reference a male friend, you should assume it\031s a dick-in-waiting. \n\nShaun: I\031m glad you\031re not trying to brag, because I\031ve been to Idaho, and I think all of you are related. Gino, have you ever sent an email?\n\nGino: Like, to someone else? \n\nShaun: Yes. To another person. \n\nGino: What, like, on the internet? \n\nShaun: That\031s right. \n\nGino: I mean, obviously. It\031s much easier to send nudes as attachments. I think. \n\nShaun: Did you ever message a member of the cast?\n\nGino: My member, or like, to say hi?\n\nJasmine: What are you asking, Shaun. Stop flirting with Gino. \n\nShaun: Look, Jessica said she messaged every cast member in a desperate bid for more airtime. Which one of you fuckers responded?\n\n Mike: I can\031t believe Nelcy didn\031t think of that. \n\nShaun: I can\031t believe she\031s going to be on stage later, since there\031s nothing she could possibly contribute. Here\031s Gino asking Jessica if she\031s Sicillian with a cowboy emoji. Really? This is the smoking gun guys?\n\nGino: That was the only emoji with a hat. \n\nJasmine: Jessica also send six messages to me. Enough about that bitch. We were talking about sex as duty? One morning I tell Gino that I will go to the gym first, and when I got back, he already play with his pee pee. \n\nShaun: Is it normal to go to the gym before sex?\n\nJasmine: On this latest trip, we only have sex one time. \n\nShaun: Is it because you were at the gym? Someone call the sex police. \n\nSex police: Ma\031am, we\031ve been supervising this entire season.\n\nJasmine: Masturbation is cheating!\n\nSex police: Alright, we\031re taking you in. We can\031t have anyone standing in the way of safety. Do you know the sort of madness masturbation restriction inspires?\n\nProud Boys: Let\031s put it this way, a bunch of us are in jail.\n\nGino: Okay, my pants-boner spit up. It happens when you have a stripper grinding on your face, RIGHT JASMINE? REMEMBER?\n\nShaun: I\031m sorry, I\031m confused, am I feigning outrage over the amount of times Gino and Jasmine had sex, or the masturbation thing? What year did we travel back to?\n\nJasmine: Women don\031t need to wank and I\031m TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR MEAT GIVE ME YOUR MEAT. \n\nShaun: Gino, what\031s a sugar baby? \n\nGino: Kim and Usman. \n\nShaun: No, to you. \n\nGino: Mike and Ximena.\n\nShaun: I find it surprising that you would pay for sex!\n\nGino: Really?\n\nShaun: But you pay for it?\n\nGino: Shaun this is called entrapment.\n\nShaun: Jamal can you come out here while we humiliate your mom?\n\nJamal: Okay. Yes, this is a strange relationship.\n\nShaun: What\031s strange about it?\n\nJamal: Really Shaun?\n\nShaun: (whispers) Is he your new dad? \n\nJamal: Shaun, as an adult child of 90DF, let\031s not pretend that Usman has any interest in me. This will shock none of the other adult children of 90DF, but this happens to my mom a lot, and she stopped asking me to call them dad three relationships ago. Usman? He\031s looking for a personal assistant and sponsor. Where is the love?\n\nUsman: Hang on, I haven\031t used that song lyric yet. How\031s this: Zara my baby yah yah, where is the love now girl, in dey love dey love dey yah yah. \n\nShaun: Keep singing, I can almost see your fans!\n\nMike: That\031s just me waving from the freeway. \n\nJamal: And I mean, who calls someone they\031re seeing a \034potential\035? That\031s disrespectful. Maybe isn\031t a title, it\031s a meh. \n\nShaun: He called Zara.\n\nKim: He did not.\n\nShaun: Let\031s take a look at this totally not rehearsed phone call that defintiely wasn\031t arranged from the very start, for fuck\031s sake.\n\nKim: I didn\031t know. I still don\031t know. Let me dab at my eyes while I find a way to blame Zara. \n\nUsman: You can also blame all women, and yourself for not trusting me! \n\nNicole: A beauty supply store is a great idea. \n\nJamal: Wow. Now you\031ve invoked the woman who takes photos of vegetables to show how much she\031s changed. \n\nMike: Actually, I accidentally invoked Nicole. \n\nNicole: It was the approval pictures. \n\nKim: I\031m upset. I need a minute. \n\nUsman: Kimberly, hold on. You\031re overreacting and you already agreed to this. Kimberly! You agree to be submissive! Kimbahlee! KimBAHHHHHHlee! This is supposed to hypnotise you! KimBAHHHHHlee! (Claps.)\n\nJamal: Wow. Why are you clapping at her like that?\n\nUsman: I am a musician you see!\n\nKim: You don\031t respect me.\n\nUsman: I don\031t have to!\n\nShaun: Jamal, can you stay? It\031s getting weird.\n\nBen: Does that work? Clap Clap Clap! M\031Hog? Can you crawl out of the screen? CLAP CLAP CLAP! I COMMAND you! CLAP CLAP CLAP!\n\nJamal: He\031s actually saying the word clap. \n\nBen: I\031ve got bronzer on my hands, and I didn\031t want to chance it. Did it work? Meowgany? M\031Hog? Hello? Okay, who turned off my microphone&\n\nNEXT WEEK: Jamal comforts Kim over her past and future mistakes, Jasmine tells Jessica that she\031s faker than Mahogany\031s filters, no one seems to call Mike out on anything, Ella cries in manufactured drama, Memphis and Hamza exist, Ben\031s advice column has a few critics, and Shaun says fuck it and just sprinkles outrage at randoms. \n\nThank you, Patreon supporters!
## 2 My family and I have been very close, until recently. They joined a church about a year ago, and have been acting completely strange, I almost describe it as \034floating.\035 They talk about how much they \034love\035 everyone, but judges anyone who doesn\031t think like them. They are completely anti LGBTQ (which is new),they no longer drink and judge those that do, they plug their ears if they hear a curse word or someone using the \034lords name in vain,\035 they really only spend time with church members, they spend their days in classes, like parenting, marriage, life,etc. they are obsessed with growing their own food and very anti medicine, their kids are pulled out of school and home schooled/church schooled one day a week, the kids are not allowed to celebrate Halloween or watch anything with magic, the list goes on. \n\nAnyways, my sister told my 5 year old nephew that I didn\031t believe in god and I was going to hell. A few months later, she breaks out in prayer in front of my whole family, and prays that I\031ll be \034brought to light.\035 I have an 8 month old son, and I told her I can\031t trust her around him, because I don\031t want him to learn those values. I know he\031s young, but I just want that to be respected.\n\nA friend of mine used to attend, she said that they use teachings from a cult down south, and have members come up and teach. Ive heard multiple people say these things. I told my mom to please look into it, and I thought I got somewhere. She sent a text that was supposed to me to my sister to me, basically stating that I was wrong and \034he\035 their preacher, teaches straight from the Bible. I told her I wasn\031t getting to her, but I hope she sees for herself. I said I didn\031t want to be around them, but they could see my son as long as they didn\031t bring anything up around him. The other sister that decided to break out in prayer I completely cut off. I just can\031t do it anymore. I also got angry and told them they were screwing up the children. Oops&
## 3 My first diary is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/s50836/i_am_24_years_old_live_in_rural_nz_and_make_53000/). Nothing has really changed except that the COL has gone absolutely mental lately. \n\n**Section One: Assets and Debt**\n\nRetirement Balance: NZ has a scheme known as Kiwisaver, where we put up to 10% of our pay aside and our employer does about a 3% match. I contribute 3%, and my Kiwisaver is at **$10,400** still, due to market drops. \n\n**Savings account balance:** $188 (I'm trying but it's hard to afford to save)\n\n**Checking account balance:** $600\n\n**Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it):** None anymore!\n\n**Student loan debt (for what degree):** I have a MA (can't specify what for as it will dox me haha!) and a BA. In total these degrees cost me $75,000 including living costs. In NZ these are interest free, and get repaid through our paycheques if you make over a certain amount- currently repayment is at \\`12% to the dollar. My loan is at **-$69,568.91**, down about $700 from my last diary.\n\n\\---\n\n**Anything else that's applicable to you:**\n\n* The Kiwi dollar is currently $1 NZD to $0.68 USD. All money spent is listed in NZ.\n* My salary is taxed at 30%, plus amounts taken out for union dues, Kiwisaver and my loan. I only get about 50% (sometimes less) after this. \n* I finished paying off $8000 of consumer debt with 22.99% interest in August, and recently had to pay $600 for unexpected dental, which is why my savings are at literally 0. I got myself into this debt during a couple of manic periods (I have cyclothymia) between 2017 to 2019 and spent it all on NOTHING OF VALUE WHATSOEVER. I try to be really careful with money when I'm low or at baseline because one of the first signs I am about to hit a high is that I want to buy everything flash and fancy.\n* I have **$120** in various EFTS and other funds through Sharesies- my brother gave me $50 of shares for Christmas 2020 and I put $10 in when I remembered they existed. Otherwise I forget they're there.\n* My Dad pays for my car and health insurance- this is just like cultural appeasement as in his perfect world I would still be living at home and not working lol.\n\n\\---\n\n**Section Two: Income**\n\n**Income Progression:** This is my first "real" job, and I make probably $3000 less than most new graduates in sector. I have been working since I was 13 though: I did 7 years in hospo, then 2 years working as a tour guide/curators assistant (one year overlap as I worked two jobs!), then two years as an admin assistant in a mental health scheme and in a specialty long-term hospital, all for minimum wage. I have basically never not worked since I started high school since I wanted to go overseas and study- which I did twice, once in HS and once in Uni.\n\nMy job title is very specific but I basically work as a curator's assistant yet again! but with a masters and slightly less pay.\n\n**Main Job Monthly Take Home:** $2,872 (so around $34,000 a year)\n\n\\---\n\n**Section Three: Expenses**\n\n**Rent**: $180 weekly (this is how we pay it here) or $720 monthly. This is INSANELY low for NZ. Most of my friends pay $300+ a week- it's low because I live in a little town with about 500 people.\n\n**Renters Insurance**: I pay this monthly now. It's $34.33. \n\n**Savings contribution:** Since September I have been putting aside $860 a month into savings, but I have had a lot of expenses and a "fuck it I have no debt" mentality that I am working on clearing through.\n\n**Investment contribution:** $10 every pay week, but probably this will be something I cut soon.\n\n**Donations:** I can't afford to do this anymore. \n\n**Wifi/Water/Electricity:** Included in my rent, which makes it even more insanely cheap.\n\n**Cellphone:** $26\n\n**Subscriptions:** $1.69 for iCloud, $14.99 for Spotify.\n\n**Car payment / insurance:** See above\n\n\\---\n\n Day 1\n\n1.00 am: Wake up with an unholy stomach ache. I try to take some panadol and go back to sleep but it does not work and I spent most of the next few hours cursing the culprit (I am never giving my stomach nice things like probiotics again), wondering what atrocities I committed in a past life to be lactose intolerant and contemplating whether actually this is the first symptom of a terminal illness. I also drink a litre of water and eat some chips to try help it out. I want to eat like, a hundred apples, but they probably would make it worse. Prop myself up with pillows and read /r/unresolvedmysteries until I need to turn the lights on. \n\n2.15 am: I now look seven months pregnant instead of nine and am almost certain I\031m being divinely punished for something. Browse Revolve to try and distract myself and eventually fall asleep before my cart hits $400. \n\n8.30 am: Get woken up by my flatmate hurriedly packing his van and leaving, which is interesting because he was Typhoid Mary for this household. Get up and take my RAT test. I never tested positive but I\031m very suspicious because I had every single symptom and they miraculously cleared up at exactly the same time my flatmates did. \n\n9.30 am: Drag myself out of bed, make some matcha, chlorophyll water (for my stomach) and collagen water. Try really hard not to snap at a girl I know in our group chat and think about how much better my life would be without her. Then I put on the ugliest yellow Lululemon shorts you\031ve ever seen and a Hellenic Aesthetic sweatshirt. Stomach feels a little bit more settled after that. Then, force myself to wash my face (I have a cleanser from a brand called Hers that I got sent by mistake from Revolve months ago (don\031t like it much) and a Foreo Luna Fofo my cousin accidentally bought two of and gave me one. How? I don\031t know. Finish with a Glow Labs Moisturiser, Frank Body eye cream and Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen.) \n\n11.00 am: Realise today is not a Sunday and I am meant to be working from home. Extreme panic ensues. Luckily my boss does not seem to have twigged and I get into formatting some research and sending out rosters. While I\031ve been in isolation everything has been very very light duties. \n\n11.30 am: After a highly laborious thirty minutes of work, I have some shapes and relay a phone call from my mother to my godmother, because I am essentially a messenger pigeon. \n\n12.00 pm: Lunch time. I go for a walk to the supermarket and buy some chocolate, ginger ale, greek yoghurt and black ball sweets for **$16.16**. Eat these and lie on my bed once the caffeine wears off and the ADHD kicks in. Then I manage to do more research stuff and look at the updated curriculum.\n\n2.00 pm: Put the finishing touches on my CV then try to find my cover letter template. Attempt to begin it but then decide to just have a little scroll on my phone instead. This turns into a half hour nap that I am awoken from by my boss calling me to tell me about some human remains that belonged to local iwi (a tribe) and were on display in at our museum for many years before being interred somewhere on site in the late 80s& but nobody knows where. Neither of us had realised that they were actually on display and he has just found photographic evidence. \n\n3.15 pm: Make myself a smoothie with banana, berries, zucchini, vanilla yoghurt and protein powder from Real Rad Foods. I have one of those cheap George Forman blend and go things and I really want a proper mixer. My friend texts me to remind me that she\031s coming round for dinner tonight& I forgot about this and want to scream. It\031s too late to cancel, really, so I tidy up my room a bit. \n\n4.30 pm: Take a quick break from work to squeeze every single blackhead on my chin. Immediately regret doing this. While doing this I get a Humm notification that money has been taken out of my account. I keep meaning to cancel this account but I basically use this like a credit card, it boosts my credit score AND there\031s only a few sites I can use it on so I don\031t really have the opportunity to go insane with it. Typically when I get paid I put it all in one big lump sum. **$31.60** \n\n6.00 pm: Still haven\031t heard from my friend and she was meant to get here at 6. Send an are you alive? text and fold todays laundry.She replies that she\031s leaving the house now, so I change into an orange and blue Entireworld (RIP) baby tee, a Mads Nørgaard Copenhagen skirt with a little floral daisy pattern (I literally cannot remember when I bought the skirt, only that I\031ve only recently fit it and now it will probably need to be taken in a bit) and black sandals from Elk. When she comes to mine she takes this random backroads route because it\031s safer (??) so she doesn\031t arrive until 6.45. Try to be a magnanimous friend and not get frustrated by this. \n\n6.45 pm: We pick up our fish and chips (she pays) and I go and buy tomato sauce (**$4.20.**) We eat it in the park and then head back to mine to watch Pretty Much It and Sky High. We spend most of the time trying to figure out if Sky High is a metaphor for being gay or not. \n\n11.30 pm: My friend leaves and I basically wait for her to text me that she\031s gotten home safe, then get into bed and go to sleep. \n\n**Daily Total: $35.80**\n\nDay 2\n\n11.50 am: Wake up. This literally never happens to me and yet both times it has happened to me this year, I\031ve been writing a money diary. Suspicious. Anyway, I am hung to the over, so I basically eat a box of crackers and watch TikTok on my phone until it feels ok to be vertical. \n\n2.00 pm: My neighbours put on a 2000\031s emo playlist and then their son starts practicing his drums. That makes me see the face of god (and also throw up.) I have three treat sized Moro bars and then get dressed in grey trackpants and a shirt with olives on it (impeccable drip.) Get back into bed and feel so sorry for myself it\031s pitiful. \n\n3.00 pm: Finally drag myself up for real this time and wash out my water bottles, put some oil in my oil burner and set my pillowcases on to wash. I also put on a Kiehls face mask (that actually I think breaks me out, but it cost $40, so my skin is gonna have to deal) and eat a cheese scone with some chlorophyll water (separately. I\031m not dunking the scone in the chlorophyll water.) The scone is a bit stale because I made them last week, but still absolutely elite. \n\n4.00 pm: When I get out of the shower It\031s 3.55.55 and I\031ve burnt 555 calories and stood up 5 times today. I keep seeing 555 and I really hope it has to do with this job. Run through my technically evening skincare routine (Sukin Hydro gel, Frank Body Hyaluronic serum, Krave Great Barrier (this stuff smells so bad), Versed Auto Save and top it off with this regenerating PHA mask that has been in my fridge for so long I forgot who made it. Make awkward small talk with my flatmate and then return to my room to eat a protein bar. After this I start massively flagging, so I foam roll my back and make a matcha before starting on the cover letter. \n\n6.00 pm: Finish the cover letter and send it off to a friend to review. Why are these so hard? I know that they probably don\031t even get read, either. She reads it and has some suggestions, I make them and then I submit it! I\031m quite nervy but also it is 100% ok if I don\031t get this job, it would just be nice to leave my current role and also make more money. And be closer to my family. Afterwards, I go for a walk (2.5km as I\031m recovering from tendinitis) \n\n8.30 pm: Make myself French toast (so easy!!) and then mix up collagen powder with a tea sachet in the hopes that the tea makes it less collagen-y. Read before the dawn, journal and take the 2929 vitamins I rely on to feel human. Then lie down on my Shatki mat for half an hour before 25 minutes on my little exercise bike because today was the kind of day that needed a run :( Do my Duolingo while I\031m pedalling away. \n\n10.00 pm: Apply Versed Night Cream and this Glossier eye cream I\031ve had since undergrad that just. won\031t. die and make myself a cup of the Real Rad Foods sleep hot chocolate thing with Boring oat milk. While I\031m drinking this my brother calls and tells me about his mountaineering plans which destroys my chilled out vibe and sets me off into a panic spiral about him dying somehow. I do this at least twice a week. Make up a small shopping list for tomorrow (since the stuff I meal prepped turned out beyond foul, what a waste of money) and then go to sleep. \n\n**Daily Total: $0 :)** \n\nDay 3\n\n8.00 am: Wake up successfully today. I lie in bed and watch TikTok\031s for about an hour, then wash my face and gua sua (I only use this to clear my sinuses and it is ELITE.) Let that all sink in, then moisturiser and sunscreen. \n\n10.00 am: Finish watching people play games on Youtube and get dressed- another Entireworld shirt, indigo straight leg jeans that are too big for me, Madewell brown belt and white canvas sneakers (affectionately referred to as MILF shoes.) Set off on the 50km drive to the nearest actual supermarket. \n\n11.00 am: Arrive at the supermarket, and buy a candle, chicken breasts, garlic powder, rapeseed oil, ginger ale and chocolate for **$54.84**. Then, I drive down to McDonalds for a cheeseburger and McBites, but I\031m 5 minutes too early for bites. By the time I get my burger, it\031s 10 minutes past the bites time& so I don\031t get why I couldn\031t have them. **$8.20**\n\n12.30 pm: Get home and light my new candle (Audrey Hepburn scented, whatever that means), put away my groceries and change from my t-shirt into a super old cropped sweatshirt from Outdoor Voices because today is the first cold day of the year and I am freezing. \n\n1.00 pm: Wake up from my accidental nap because my mums called to vent about work. While we\031re on the phone I load the dishwasher and change out the bin bags. Then I watch an episode of Bridgerton (not massively vibing with this season) Make myself a protein smoothie and have to melt (!!) the skin off a frozen banana because my flatmates have eaten my preportioned frozen bananas. It is traumatic, so I also have some Caramello chocolate to self-soothe. \n\n2.30 pm: Hear from the cops about a police report I filed at the start of the month (very strange incident where some old man drove into my car and then did some odd things before he just wandered off.) The cop gives me the guys phone number and says that the guy said he got in contact with me (lol) because he owns the only panel beaters in town. Considering he was literally old enough to be Henry Ford I don\031t really want him fixing my car, so I call my dad to see what he thinks. It must be a slow day for the cops because I would have thought they had better things to do. Go into a weird anxiety tailspin for an hour. \n\n4.30 pm: Call my friend G to congratulate her on getting a new job, try not to lose my mind at the girl in my group chat and focus on finishing Before the Dawn.\n\n5.40 pm: Go for a walk, my mum calls me halfway through and I go on a massive rant about this girl. We decide in the end that I need to drop here but delicately and any confrontation will upset her. Get home and then make Juicy Chicken 101 from TikTok (so good) and some pesto pasta to have with it. Literally a game changer for me, if only chicken didn\031t cost half the earth. \n\n8.00 pm: My flatmate comes home and we all kind of stand around and chat for a while. Then I make myself some collagen and go back to my book.\n\n9.30 pm: Finish, 7/10. Have a shower and do 30 mins on the Shatki mat while I do my Duolingo. Finish up with some Real Rad Food sleep and a lil go on the exercise bike. \n\n**Daily Total: $63.04**\n\nDay 4\n\n8.00 am: Wake up feeling RAW. This often happens to me after I\031ve been anxious and leads into me shutting myself off from the world for a while and cutting my own hair. Or I\031m just hungry. Jury is out. I wallow in pity for a while, think about how nice a run would be right now and then eat some chocolate. This is intensely revitalising, so I get dressed and put on some laundry. \n\n11.30 am: Take a RAT test- because of the nature of my job, I take these every 3 days. \n\n1.30 pm: Remember my insurance is up soon. I can\031t get into my old policy (??) but it\031s up on the 28th of April. Last year I bought it annually but since I\031m planning on leaving here within the next 3 months, I\031ll pay for it monthly instead. Then, sort out my YNAB, update my savings accounts, prep for payday tomorrow etc. Also book myself in for a foot massage next Tuesday and reschedule my physio appointment to the same day. All I have left to sort now are my Doctors appointments and calling the guy who hit my car. \n\n3.00 pm: Meal plan (I\031ll go to the shops on Thursday) and then become possessed with a need to find out what is happening on Riverdale now. Answer: ???????\n\n5.30 pm: Brief chat with one of my flatmates, then make more chicken to go with my pesto pasta tomorrow. Go for a walk- amped up to 3km today, wow >\025 \n\n7.00 pm: Eat dinner while browsing around online. I try to check the price of shipping from Nomad Cosmetics for their Sydney Bathers quad face thing and forget I have Shop Pay on, so I buy it by mistake. Luckily it\031s $4.99 on sale, and with shipping it\031s under $35 NZD. I also wear a lot of bronzer, so not a huge loss. **$32.48**\n\n8.00 pm: Shower, Shatki and Real Rad Foods sleepy thing. Then I get into bed and stare at the cracks in the ceiling because I\031m far too anxious to sleep. Honestly I had no idea what an impact running was having on my mental health and I cannot wait to get back into it. \n\n10.30 pm: Finally drop off before I\031m woken up by boy racers on the road across from us. Uncharitably wish that they have a serious accident with multiple fatalities. They keep going alllllll night. \n\nDaily total: **$32.48**\n\nDay 5\n\n6.30 am: Good morning. I slept an hour later than I meant to, but that\031s okay. Get ready, have breakfast (3 mini hot cross buns), do my extreme depuffing measures, put on makeup, remember laptop etc. Head out the door at 7.45. \n\n8.00 am: Pull into the supermarket and buy an
## 4 This may seem like such a small incident to most people but for me it was a big thing I never told anyone about and its hard for me to type this.\n\nTwo years ago I moved house with my family because my parents couldn't pay the mortgage on our fmaily house/extneded property. I was a first year in college and met this girl A from class over a college groupchat (classes were all online). \n\nI started to date her around November and December and was excited to meet someone new as I had no friends in my new area and classes were online. Up until that point I had lost 10KG/22LBS in about 9 weeks which was a massive accomplishement for me as I was always a fat child / adolescent. \n\nWe were seeing eachother for a couple of weeks and she told me she liked me, complimented me etc etc, until she met up with her ex to return a book. I received a text from her later that day after she let me on opened for hours where she basically told me she wanted to get back with her ex boyfriend and I gathered she was probably seeing him the entire time we were together. I pretty muched sucked it up, told her I didn't mind and immediatley stopped texting her and blocked her a few weeks later. \n\nMy country then went into lockdown for the next 6 months and I basically quit. I started eating junkfood again and after 2 weeks I gained 6KG. Then I started making myself throw up and took up runing. I ran my ass off and eventually got a 49 minute 10K time as I gained weight. Few months pass I'm back at square one at 82KG. Now a year later, I turned 20 two weeks ago and I'm at 86KG. It's all my fault. I quit on myself and I am monumentally dissapointed in myself. I felt like trash and I just stopped caring. \n\nIt's a year and a half on from this and I'm sitting here on another lonely friday night typing this on reddit becuase I don't have the self worth or self esteem to make friends anymore. I believe 100% that I am trash and they won't like me. \n\nI got into self improvement during this time because it's a very convenient excuse for not making friends by pretending I was too good for people but in reality I'm just a scared bitch and I'm petrified of people learning my secrets and rejecting me. \n\nI come from a very low income family and our house looks disgusting, my religious parents stop me from going out (pathetic that I listen, I'm 20!), I've been rejected by 5 girls during my time in college, I'm unlikeable, I think I have an eating disorder, I was the weird kid in school etc., \n\nIn terms of my weight and eating issues, I know this is all my fault and it's all a conscious failure of mine to moderate my eating habits or take control of my own emotional / mental state. I attended my gran aunts funeral the day of my 20th birthday and I've realised how much time I've wasted willfully being a loser. I don't work hard enough and I am NOT good enough. This was all in my control and I failed for no good reason. \n\n\nEdit: just want to add I am very ashamed and embarrassed of myself (on one level that I wasn't good enough for A and another that I became a recluse) and the scariest part of being a self pitying mess is that you get nothing done. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n* I didn't write this post to be a whiny incel, I know I'm not entitled to anyone's love or affection, it's just an event that happened in my life that I think had an impact on me and admitting this made me cringe.
## 5 I live in the Bible belt in SW Missouri. Every man I've helped I either know or am close to their circle. I'm somewhat familiar with their family or I know them personally. Over the last 7 years...their story is like mine.....well most of them.\n \nMarried a long time with kid(s) involved. \n\nThe shortest marriages were 5, 7, and 10 years. The rest were 15-20+.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI've seen everything from cheating with another woman to wanting an open marriage. One woman remarried her ex husband and the reason she said she divorced to do so was that she was not able to reach orgasm unless it was clitoral stimulation. (She told this to her pastors). wtf?\n\nCome to think of it there was another woman that had mental issues and said (I kid you not) that she was raped by Donald Trump. double wtf?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn nearly all these cases there has been infidelity involved. Two didn't but I'd almost bet they were getting contact\\messages even if they didn't physically cheat. Based on what their husbands said they were telling them....projecting and gas lighting.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe status quo is; They became bored\\discontent. They "fell out of love." They didn't "feel loved." "If only you did this\\that." "You were too controlling." "I never got to be happy". "You never let do what I wanted".\n\nNever them. Never accountable. Never responsible. Always blaming, playing the victim, and pointing fingers. Even the ones that cheated. I take that back.......there was one.......the one that slept with another chick did take ownership for the affair and was cordial with assets and children. She's still pretty out there and is a principal at a school 30 mins away. Go figure.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMany of these men have multiple children. Some even have adopted children on top of their biological. Two of them have 5 total with two adopted. My guess is that most have a cordial relationship so far as custody is concerned. Not all cases, but most.\n\n&nbsp; \n\nMy observation from being in a "Christian Conservative" smaller city of 65k is that it's reverse the bigger more progressive cities. These marriages usually start out young and do not have multiple partners prior to marriage. (Christianity 101). \n\nAround 35-40ish these women unleash their sexual appetites. Interesting, that the advent of phones\\texts\\apps\\social media.......this seems to play a part too.\n\nI could be totally wrong.........maybe it's dick downed dating apps. Just my thoughts for my geological location. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI will say that as crazy as the one chick that divorced to remarry her ex husband was.......at least she had the decency to file it all and was done in 30-60 days or so. They didn't have children.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nJust to shed light on my own ex of 20 years......she had multiple affairs. One guy she met twice in KC on two separate occasions for 2\\3 days each time and she told me they never had intercourse. triple wtf? So I said "well what did you do if you didn't have sex?" She suddenly had amnesia. eye roll.\n\nThe second guy that I know of she was having an affair while we were going thru divorce. Pretty standard I'd guess......but the problem was that she never hid this and from the outside you'd think she was "sister Christian" while banging this dude on the side. Crying on our pastors couch the whole time. Oh and she was bringing our newborn son there as well. Just gross.\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo that's it. Just giving one man's perspective from SW Missouri..........seems that in one of the most Bible Belted Cities that women ruin their marriages over some thirsty shallow dick. Ya Ya......I'm well aware men do this but this is /r/divorce_men and I thought I'd share my perspective over the last 7 years.\n\nRecently, a guy I went to church with had his wife going to the gym getting in shape and cheated on him. Shocker. They were married 10 years. Down the drain. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nLuckily, I've been able to enlighten most of these guys. The biggest issue is that they felt alone and were the only ones going thru what they were. You should have seen their eyes when I shared my story along with some of the other. It was such a weight lifted off them.\n\nMost of them handled things well for the most part. One guy, (second marriage) packed up and left for Africa and remarried with in 6 months. quadruple wtf?\n\nI never wanted to be a divorce coach but the least I could do is be there to help them and let them know that they aren't alone. Not by a long shot. The patters, especially now, seem to be the same cliche bullshit. Unfortunately. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nHang in there fellas.......yes divorce sucks......yes it feels like it takes forever. Keep your emotions in check. Limit your alcohol and focus on goals to better yourself. You will get thru it. And with some work....you'll smile at the guy looking you in the mirror every morning. You might even grow to like him.\n\nCheers!
## 6 Well, we're still stuck fending for ourselves on this island, with access only to a bedroom, hallways, and the great outdoors. We've been able to fish, make fire, and collect rain water, and the internet helps us identify what's edible, but some things we\031re still arguing over. Such as whether or not maggots are safe to eat. I think they are, I've eaten worse. Besides, it's not like we can get sick. But I\031m getting ahead of myself. I\031ll go ahead and continue my story.\n\n&\n\n[Part 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tuv69j/the_cost_of_eternity_part_18/) - [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvmn7b/the_cost_of_eternity_part_28/)\n\nMy fear shifted to uneasy astonishment when I heard a booming bark followed by a tense demand for silence. A few seconds later, Shirley appeared at the base of the tree, his front paws on the trunk as he looked up at me, soaking wet, tongue lolling proudly. He was soon joined by Sebastian, who shuffled back and forth, his clothes drenched as he angled himself until he could glimpse me through the leaves.\n\n\034Candace?\035\n\n\034How'd you get here?" I asked, suspicious.\n\n\034Like you did.\035 He limped closer. \034How are you after a swim like that? Do you need help coming down?\035\n\n\034Whose side are you on?\035\n\n\034Ours, yours and mine. I left a suicide note on the boat, so they probably think we\031re dead now. No one should be looking for us.\035\n\n\034You had time to do that?\035\n\nHe rubbed the back of his neck as he looked down awkwardly. \034I\031ve actually had the letter for a while, just couldn\031t bring myself to do it. I couldn\031t do that to Shirley. All I had to do was add your name.\035 He cleared his throat and looked to his left. \034We need to break into the castle, but they have cameras around, so it\031s best if we wait until nightfall.\035\n\nHe slipped a soggy backpack off his shoulder. \034I got everything I could carry. I\031m sure you\031d like something to eat, you haven\031t had anything since the tuna sandwich last night.\035\n\n\034You swam over carrying that?\035\n\n\034I used to be on the swim team in high school,\035 he said with a proud smile.\n\n\034Did you get the handcuff key?\035\n\nRemorse crushed his pride. \034Yes. I got the first aid kit too &\035\n\nHe was as easy to read as he was on the boat. Confident of his sincerity, I climbed down, accepted Shirley\031s slobbery greeting, and took the key from Sebastian. His guilt was palpable as he watched me un-cuff my wrist.\n\n\034I can bandage those up for you,\035 he said.\n\n\034No, I can do it,\035 I replied as I sat down. \034Give me the first aid kit.\035\n\nHe handed it over along with a bottle of water, but I fumbled with both, my right hand completely numb. I grumbled as I tried to shake life back into it, and Sebastian sat down in front of me.\n\n\034Let me help,\035 he said, reaching out.\n\n"No."\n\n"Why not?"\n\n"I don't like being touched."\n\n"Oh." He watched me struggle in silence for a while before he said, "I took first aid training in school, I'll be professional."\n\nI looked at him in frustrated deliberation, and after a few seconds, I gave him a reluctant nod. I cringed when he held my hand, but my discomfort faded when he began tending to my injuries with gentle proficiency.\n\n\034How were you able to free yourself?\035 he asked, curious yet embarrassed.\n\n\034I shimmed the cuff with a straw.\035\n\n\034A straw? Where\031d you learn to do that?\035\n\n\034Jail.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035 After a pause, he asked, \034What were you arrested for?\035\n\n\034Breaking and entering.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035\n\nAfter he finished wrapping both my wrists, I flexed my fingers. \034How long before I get feeling back in my right hand?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know." His shame was evident as he packed up the first aid kit. \034It might take a while, just keep stretching and massaging it gently.\035\n\nHe reached in his backpack and opened a lumpy plastic bag, revealing a pair of board shorts, a T-shirt, and my sundress. \034I don\031t really have much, but I thought these might fit you. This is drawstring and this is my newest shirt. I got your dress too if you\031d rather wear that.\035\n\n\034It\031s too flashy, it\031ll attract attention out here.\035 I reached for the shorts and shirt. \034I\031ll take these, thanks.\035\n\n\034No problem. I\031m sorry I don\031t have spare shoes. I\031m wearing my only pair.\035\n\n\034It\031s okay, being barefoot doesn\031t bother me."\n\nI donned his clothes, and my lightheadedness almost made me lose my balance as I stumbled into a tree.\n\n\034Oh, careful!\035 He pulled a bag of dog food out of his backpack to show me what was underneath. \034Here, you need to eat. I got tuna, sardines, water ...\035\n\nI chose a tin of sardines and he opened it for me. He selected a can of tuna for himself, and Shirley got a generous pile of kibble. Afterwards, he passed me a water bottle and I downed it in one gluttonous go while he shared his with his dog.\n\n\034Okay, so & this is the plan.\035 He pointed towards the direction I was running. \034That side of the castle is the back end. I\031ll wait until nightfall and sneak over. Then I can take out the cameras with this.\035 He opened a side zipper on his backpack and pulled out a small, wooden slingshot.\n\nI took it from him and inspected it, amused. \034I don\031t think I\031ve ever seen an adult with one of these.\035\n\nHe chuckled. \034Gregor gave it to me when I complained about the unloaded gun. He did it as a joke, but I had one as a kid and was pretty good with it. Still am.\035\n\n\034Wouldn\031t taking out the cameras attract attention?\035 I asked as I handed it back to him.\n\n\034Probably, but at least they won\031t know where we are, giving us time to find the control room.\035\n\n"What's a control room?"\n\n"It\031s where they control everything, including the boats and phones. I'm certain they have one." He shoved the slingshot in his pocket. \034Our best bet is either the ground floor near the entrance, or the basement. I remember seeing a room there where\024\035\n\n\034You\031ve been here before?\035 I asked in surprise. \034Like, inside the castle? You\031ve met your boss?\035\n\n\034No, I haven't met the boss, but Gregor gave me a tour right after bringing Shirley and me here on a fancy yacht and feeding us like kings.\035 He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. \034It was amazing. He promised me a chance to live here, a life better than the one I had, if I agreed to deliver on call for five years. What\031s the worst they\031d ask me to deliver? I signed the damned contract without reading it.\035\n\n\034Why couldn\031t you just tell the police when you found out what you had to do?\035\n\n\034Gregor told me the whole world is in their pocket. If I snitched, investigations would lead to nothing, Shirley and I would get killed, and a new gullible moron would be hired in my place.\035\n\n\034Couldn\031t you have ran and hid?\035\n\n\034Gregor said they monitored everything. I was scared they\031d find me and Shirley.\035 He looked down. \034And I have nowhere to go. I\031m a nobody, I have nobody. I would\031ve died out there & so, I just stuck with it. Kept my eye on the prize. Gregor made me run all sorts of errands, and when it came to delivering people, it was easy to distance myself because I didn\031t know who they were, why they were chosen, or what was going to happen to them.\035\n\nMy thoughts darkened. \034How many people have you delivered?\035\n\n\034Two guys and two girls before you.\035\n\n\034Were any of them kids?\035\n\nHe looked at me in shock. \034No, none! They were all, like, late teens, early twenties maybe. I don\031t know exactly, but they were all adults, no kids.\035\n\n\034So, you were ready to make peace with that? To live the life of luxury on the backs of innocent people you\031ve kidnapped? What if they asked you to start killing them, or worse?\035\n\n\034They wouldn\031t. I only deliver.\035\n\n\034You think they\031re offering to let you live here out of the goodness of their hearts?\035 I asked, my exhausted aggravation letting my temper take over. \034They\031re recruiting you to do whatever messed up shit they\031re doing! If I was in your place, I\031d have killed myself the moment I found out I\031d be delivering people to some psychopaths.\035\n\nHe scowled in offense. \034And they\031d have hired someone else to replace you. You wouldn\031t have solved anything. And I have Shirley to think about.\035\n\nShirley\031s anxious eyes darted between the two of us, sensing the charged tension.\n\n\034I\031d have chosen to live the rest of my life in the streets than agree to some shady deal like that,\035 I said.\n\n\034You have no idea what it was like out there.\035\n\n\034I don\031t? *I* don\031t?\035\n\n\034No, you don\031t,\035 he snapped. \034The streets were your home, but they weren\031t mine. You have no idea what I was subjected to. How hard it was to guarantee Shirley\031s survival. My own survival.\035\n\n\034If you\031re too stupid to figure out how to survive, then you might as well die.\035\n\nHe bristled. \034You know, I should\031ve taped you up yesterday and just & never had to deal with this. You ruined my life!\035\n\nI stood up, incredulous. \034*I* ruined *your* life?\035\n\n\034Yes, you!\035 he yelled as he stood up as well. \034It was all going to work out! I had three years left and me and Shirley would\031ve been set! I wish I never let you talk! I wish I never met you! I wish I never & felt *this*!\035 He gestured in frustration to himself, his hands alternating between his head and chest.\n\nI shied away as I hugged myself, wondering if I misread him. \034What do you mean by *\030this\031*?\035\n\n\034I don\031t *know*, and I hate it! I hate it because for the first time in my life, that \030off\031 feeling is gone, and I hate that it\031s because of you! I hate that I don\031t know *why* it\031s because of you! I hate that I turned the boat around because of you! I hate that Shirley\031s in danger because of you! I hate & I hate myself. I hate myself &\035\n\nHis posture drooped and he leaned against a tree and slid to the ground, ducking his head and gripping the back of his neck. I hugged myself tighter as his concentrated flood of emotions hit me hard. Despite his choice of words, I didn\031t sense hatred, I sensed heartbreak.\n\nHe was heartbroken at the loss of the promised utopian life he let slip through his fingers & because of me. He was heartbroken at the ugly perspective he was no longer blind to & because of me.\n\nI didn\031t know what to say as I watched him brood, Shirley nuzzling him in concern. Sebastian was a gullible and desperate person, one who was taken advantage of. One who wasn\031t used to a difficult life. One who had a dog that was his responsibility and his only companion. One who had a heart that clashed with a selfish promise.\n\nOne who also felt an inexplicable link between us.\n\n\034Do you hate me?\035 I asked.\n\nThere was no answer, but he did release a heavy, wavering sigh.\n\nI tried again. \034Do you regret turning the boat around?\035\n\nHe lifted his head and leaned back against the tree, welcoming Shirley\031s affection with his own but remaining silent.\n\nI expressed my biggest concern as I asked, \034If they gave you a second chance, would you take it?\035\n\nHe finally looked up at me, and I could see the taunting visions of a perfect future dancing behind the yearning in his eyes. He looked away, ashamed and frustrated, his lips pressed together in a thin, tense line.\n\n\034Sebastian, I want to know if I can trust you.\035\n\nHe frowned and busied himself with adjusting Shirley\031s collar.\n\n\034I know you lost a lot,\035 I said, softening my tone, \034and the temptation of getting it back made you blind. But you\031re not blind anymore, and you made a choice. A very selfless choice that I\031m grateful for. And I sensed that in you. I sensed good. I sensed &\035 I took a deep breath. \034I sensed something too & between us.\035\n\nHe snorted with skepticism. \034I\031m sure.\035\n\n\034No, I did. Not at first. At first I hated you. But under the stars, when you asked about my mom\031s song and we talked, I felt this & something. This & wholeness. I hated you again after breakfast, but then, now & here we are.\035\n\nHe glanced up at me, his skepticism muted by an unexpected vulnerability. \034You don\031t still hate me?\035\n\n\034No, I don\031t. Not anymore. I know how temptation can be. We all make bad choices, it\031s how we choose to fix them that matters. And you\031re trying. I don\031t understand this feeling between us either, but maybe it\031s because we both know what it\031s like to be mistreated by others. Whatever it is, it got us this far and it might take us to safety & if we trust each other.\035\n\nMy words must have struck a chord because he sat up and locked eyes with me. \034You can trust me. And I trust you. We\031re in this together, and I promise I\031ll try my best to keep us safe.\035\n\nI nodded, his sincerity a relief. \034Okay, that\031s good to hear.\035\n\nHe checked his watch. \034The sun sets in six hours, so we have until then to come up with a solid plan.\035\n\nI sat down again, and Shirley made his way over and plopped his head on my lap. \034I thought we were going to go to the castle at night, take out the cameras, and sneak in to find the control room,\035 I said as I massaged Shirley\031s ears.\n\n"No, *I\031m* going to do all that. You\031re going to stay here with Shirley and make sure he doesn\031t do anything stupid. Afterwards, I'll\024\035\n\n\034What! I\031m not a dog-sitter! I\031m also more experienced than you at sneaking into places.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t you get arrested?\035\n\n\034It was just that one time!\035\n\n\034You can\031t even feel your right hand.\035\n\n\034I don\031t need to feel it to use it.\035\n\n"You\031re barefoot.\035\n\n\034All the better for sneaking around. At least I\031m not limping.\035\n\nHe rubbed his knee, sighing. \034Look, they want you. I\031ll feel better knowing you\031re safe out here, and that Shirley is safe with you.\035\n\n\034We\031re going inside together.\035\n\n\034Candace, I just told you you can trust me,\035 he said in exasperation. \034I won\031t double-cross you.\035\n\n\034It\031s not that, I\031m just worried! What if something happens to you, how will I know? Together, we can change the plan as we go. And we\031ll take Shirley with us. He can protect us.\035\n\n\034No,\035 he said, his severity startling me.\n\n\034Why not? Look at him! His size is enough to scare people away.\035\n\nHe looked away, thoughts clouding his eyes before he lowered his head. \034Once, before I got hired, some assholes messed with me while I was trying to find a place to sleep,\035 he said quietly. \034Shirley\031s a gentle giant, but he\031s very protective of me. He tried to defend me, but there were many of them.\035\n\nHis voice cracked as he continued, \034They beat him until he was unconscious, then they & they told me to do whatever they wanted or else they\031d kill him.\035\n\nI hugged Shirley\031s head. \034Oh no, Sebastian, I\031m sorry,\035 I said, my voice trembling as I knew first-hand the depravity the strong flaunt upon the weak.\n\n\034We were lucky. It could\031ve been worse. But, ever since, I promised I wouldn\031t put Shirley in that position again.\035 He let out a self-deprecating scoff. \034And then I went and signed that contract like a moron.\035 He sighed. \034I\031ve been doing what I have to, to keep him safe, but now that we\031re free, I don\031t want to put him in danger.\035\n\nI nodded. \034I understand. He can wait out here for us. But I\031m not staying with him. I\031m coming with you.\035\n\n\034Look, how about we get some rest and decide after we wake up? I\031m bushed and you look like something the cat dragged in. We need sleep if we\031re going to do anything tonight.\035 He adjusted his watch. \034I set the alarm five hours from now. Is that good?\035\n\n\034Is it safe sleeping out here?\035 I asked, looking around.\n\n\034Yes, Gregor told me there are no predators on the island.\035\n\n\034Except for them.\035\n\n\034They don\031t know we\031re alive, we should be fine. If anyone approaches, Shirley will smell them and let us know before they even see us.\035\n\n\034Okay &\035 I said, reluctant. \034But wake me up if I don\031t hear the alarm. Promise you won\031t leave without me. We\031re in this together.\035\n\n\034I promise.\035\n\n...\n\nI didn\031t realize I'd fallen asleep until I felt a bug crawling on my face. Leaves rustled under me as I brushed it off, and my eyes popped open, my pulse accelerating. I sprang up, then sighed with relief when I saw Sebastian sleeping a few feet away, Shirley\031s snoring head on his stomach.\n\nWithout a watch of my own, I crawled over to glance at his, only to jump back with a yelp as it began beeping. My cry caused Shirley to lift his head and bark in solidarity, which led to a cacophony of startled birds overhead.\n\nSebastian jolted into a sitting position, panic slicing through his grogginess as he fumbled with his watch and looked around with wide eyes. \034What? Are they here?\035\n\n\034No, no,\035 I quickly said. \034Your alarm rang and I wasn\031t expecting it, that\031s all.\035\n\nHis breaths regulated and he managed a chuckle. \034I swear, Candace & if an alarm\031s got you jumpy, then maybe we\031re better off if you stayed here with Shirley.\035\n\n\034Very funny,\035 I said, unamused, as I reached for his backpack. \034What else do you have in here, I\031m hungry again.\035 I shoved aside the cans and found a stash of chocolate-covered marshmallow and jelly candy bars. \034Oh, I love these!\035 I said, grabbing one and tearing the wrapper off.\n\n\034Me too. I recently discovered them, they\031re dirt cheap but really good.\035\n\n\034I\031ve got a weakness for marshmallows,\035 I said, my mouth full. \034Derek\031s been trying to help me cut down on all the unhealthy stuff, but before I met him I used to go to the dollar store and splurge.\035\n\nSebastian poured a handful of kibble on the ground for Shirley before he reached for his own candy bar. \034I like marshmallows too. The only reason I liked camping was because we\031d make s\031mores. And hot chocolate for me is basically a mug of marshmallows with a little hot chocolate drizzle as garnish.\035\n\nA grin lit up his face, and I froze as its playfulness stirred a distant echo in the recesses of my mind. My candy bar hovered half-way to my mouth as I tried to seize the elusive memory.\n\nSebastian\031s grin vanished. \034What? Do I have something in my teeth?\035\n\nHis question made me realize I was staring and I snapped out of it. \034No, I just & never mind.\035\n\nHe took a bite and chewed for a few seconds before one of the questions floating behind his eyes escaped. \034When you said you were ambidextrous, did you mean it?\035\n\n\034I never said that! I don\031t even know what it means!\035\n\n\034It means you\031re both left and right-handed.\035\n\n\034Oh. Yea, I think I am. I mean, I do stuff easily with both hands. Why?\035\n\n\034I\031m ambidextrous too. I just thought it was a cool coincidence because there aren\031t a lot of us. I think we make up one percent of the total population.\035 He took another bite. \034What do you know about your past, before you were homeless?\035\n\nI shrugged. \034I don\031t remember anything except my mom\031s singing. I have no records. I don\031t know my birthday, I don\031t even know my last name. Derek\031s been trying to help me in that department, but he says it takes a lot to bring someone into existence.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035\n\nI tossed the empty wrapper in the backpack. \034It\031s getting dark, shouldn\031t we get moving?\035\n\nHe nodded. \034How\031s your hand? Can you feel it?\035\n\nI flexed my fingers. \034Sort of. It\031s still a bit tingly but I can use it. Let\031s go.\035\n\nAfter we went our separate ways to answer the call of nature, we packed up and Sebastian filled his pockets with stones, ammunition for his slingshot. He then told Shirley to sit and stay, resulting in doleful whines fading behind us as we walked towards the castle, navigating by crescent moonlight.\n\nWhen we made it to the back end of the castle, we stayed behind the trees as we searched for any cameras. There weren\031t any, which wasn\031t surprising as there didn\031t seem to be any windows. Just an entire wall of jagged stone. It looked like the castle itself was carved out of a mountain.\n\nSebastian drew my attention to a row of low, narrow windows, like those of a basement. They were easy to miss, and one was cracked open. The only way we'd be able to fit was if we slithered in on our stomachs, and I didn\031t hesitate as I darted over and squeezed through, Sebastian\031s panicked whispers following me as I landed inside a dark room.\n\nNo sooner had my feet touched the cold, marble floor that the room flooded with brilliant lights. A gasp squeaked in my throat and I ducked behind a massive, bronze globe, holding my breath as I tried to listen for another person\031s presence above my thundering pulse.\n\nAfter a few seconds of silence, I peeked above the globe. The room was huge but void of life, the musty smell of old books mingling with that of leather and wood polish. I scanned the corners with anxious eyes, and I relaxed when I didn\031t find any cameras.\n\nA tense whisper came through the window. \034Candace?\035\n\n\034I & I think the lights are motion-activated,\035 I said as I stood up, shaking off my nerves. \034There\031s no one here, and no cameras, I think.\035\n\nSebastian studied the room. \034This is a library of some sort. And that section looks like a museum. There have to be cameras in here.\035\n\n\034If you find one, just shoot it down." I hustled past the leather couches in the center of the room. \034Come on.\035\n\n\034Candace! Candace, wait! My bag doesn\031t fit!\035\n\n\034Then grab what you need and leave it outside!\035\n\nAs I continued towards the door at the far end, I could hear Sebastian grumble before he landed with a grunt. Despite the urgency, I couldn\031t help but slow down as I looked at the glass cases lining the entire wall to my right. They were filled with collections ranging from artwork to antique weapons, and I walked past them with awe until one painting stopped me in my tracks.\n\nIt was a portrait of a teenage boy from the chest up. The ruffles of his old-fashioned collar grazed his pointed chin and his dark hair was combed away from his smug, pasty face, but his eyes were what left me speechless.\n\nThey were Sebastian\031s.\n\nThe upturned, hazel eyes stared at me from the painting, deep-set and expressive. Their unquestionable similarity was another mystery piled atop the others, and fear crawled under my skin as I wondered if my instincts had failed me. If Sebastian had duped me with his sob story. If he was related to this teenager in the painting.\n\nI turned towards Sebastian. He was at the opposite side of the room, standing between an ornate, wooden desk and a congested bookshelf that took up an entire wall. He was staring at a large, open book on the desk, his hand laying still atop the page. He wasn\031t in any hurry to find a control room.\n\n\034Sebastian?\035 I said, my voice hitching with disquieted tension. \034What are you doing?\035\n\nHe looked up at me, his face ashen. \034Candace, come see this.\035\n\n\034What\031s going on here? Why aren\031t you\024\035\n\n\034Candace, please &\035\n\nHis lost expression replaced my wariness with nervous curiosity. I walked over, and he stepped to the side and gestured towards the book.\n\n\034It was open to this when we came in.\035\n\nI scanned the page, and my jaw dropped in shock. There, fastened to the corner, was a photo of a woman with two small children on her lap. She was stunning, with dark, glowing skin, rich, brown eyes, long, braided hair &\n\n& and Sebastian\031s perfect, gleaming smile.\n\nIt was unmistakable, and it triggered my elusive memory once again. Desperate to understand how this was possible, I turned to the text on the page. Her name was Celine, and the page summarized her life in neat, flowing cursive. She was a secretary with aspirations for becoming a mayor. She volunteered at homeless shelters. She was an only child.\n\nHer address and contact information were struck-through. They were outdated, since Celine had died fifteen years ago, murdered in a mugging while walking home with her children. The same children in the photo. They were twins, Candace and Caleb. They\031d be turning twenty in two days.\n\nI looked at Sebastian, our eyes exchanging their utter loss and confusion.\n\n\034You look like her,\035 he whispered.\n\n\034No, I don\031t,\035 I snapped. \034She\031s beautiful.\035\n\n\034Candace, she\031s our mom. We\031re & we\031re &\035\n\n\034No. No, impossible.\035\n\n\034Keep reading.\035\n\nI looked back down, raking the page for an explanation. There was an alphanumeric code under the name Candace, followed by quick notes summarizing her health and progress up until the age of five. Then, nothing. Nothing until two years ago, where it concisely summarized *my* arrest, *my* relationship with Derek Jackson, *my* health progress, *my* address, and even *my* dog Sherlock Bones.\n\nCaleb\031s section continued past the age of five. Under his alphanumeric code was a brief rundown of his discovery at a church's steps, his entry into an orphanage, his adoption by Ernest and May Benson, his name change to Sebastian, his health, his education, his dog Sherlock, his descent into destitution, and, finally, his hiring as a delivery guy.\n\n\034I & I don\031t understand,\035 I said, my voice shaking. \034How & what is this?\035\n\nI flipped through the unwieldy book. There were over a hundred pages, each with a professional photo of a woman. Their kids accompanied them, some male, some female, few twins, fewer triplets.\n\n\034Who are these women?\035 I asked, uneasy as I scanned their smiling faces.\n\n\034I don\031t know, but that volume is only for our birth year,\035 Sebastian said, facing the bookshelf behind us. \034There\031s one for each year since &\035 He walked to the right until he reached the end of the bookshelf. \034Damn, these span almost a thousand years. Wait, look, there\031s a ledger.\035\n\nHe pulled out a bulky ledger, its red leather binding cracked with age, and he flipped it open. Each yellowed page was filled with five columns of names and dates, all neatly written in the same flowing cursive. Some names had a hand-drawn star next to them, some had an \034X\035, some had a check mark, and some had a triangle.\n\nI took the ledger from Sebastian and flipped through it, looking for the columns with Candace and Caleb\031s birth year. Our birth year. Then I compared the names with those in the book on the desk. They were almost a perfect match. I found my name. It had a star next to it. I couldn\031t find Sebastian\031s name. I looked up at him in stressed confusion, only to see his eyes expand.\n\n\034What is it?\035 I asked.\n\n\034This is the guy I delivered before you,\035 he said, pointing to a name with a star next to it. He scanned the pages and pointed to another starred name. \034This girl too &\035\n\nI flipped through the rest of the ledger. \034Have all the people with stars been delivered here?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know. I'm not the only delivery guy."\n\n\034What about the people without stars?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034Why aren\031t you in here?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know, Candace,\035 he said helplessly. \034I have no idea what this is.\035\n\nI went back to the book on the table, desperate for answers. \034What about these letters and numbers under our names?\035\n\nSebastian turned and squinted as he tried to read the spines of the binders on the upper shelves. \034Those are organized alphanumerically.\035 He pulled over a wrought-iron step ladder and climbed up. \034Tell me our codes, maybe I can find them.\035\n\nI rattled them off, and he pulled down two binders, handing me mine. I whipped it open, and my breath caught in my lungs when I saw a photo of my smiling face. It was the one Derek took of me when he surprised me with Sherlock Bones. How did it end up here?\n\nMy hands trembled as I flipped through the rest of the pages with disbelieving eyes. Everything was here. My medical reports from Derek\031s office, candid photos, even my diet regimen. This exhaustive invasion of privacy was mind-boggling, amplifying my frightened confusion.\n\nWith my pulse racing, I turned to Sebastian. He was just as shaken as I was, his binder cataloging everything in his life, including his report cards, phone logs, and browser history.\n\n\034W-why do they have all this?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Who are they?\035\n\nHe couldn\031t stop staring at a photo of himself sleeping in a bus shelter with Shirley. \034I & I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034Maybe I can help,\035 a strange, male voice said.\n\nSebastian and I jumped and looked around in frantic alarm, tried to find who said that. We jumped again at a disembodied chuckle, and Sebastian fished a stone out of his pocket and loaded his slingshot while I grabbed a gold letter opener off the desk. With our backs pressed against each other, our jittery hearts thudded in unison as we scanned the corners with wild eyes.\n\nThere was no one in the room.\n\n\034Is & is this place h-haunted?\035 I asked with a shaky whisper.\n\n\034N-no, there\031s no such thing,\035 Sebastian said. \034There have to be speakers or something.\035\n\n\034Someone knows we\031re here?\035 I asked, my fear spiking. \034Is it Gregor?\035\n\n\034N-no, that isn\031t his voice.\035 Sebastian gulped. \034Let\031s leave before anyone actually comes in here.\035\n\nWith our backs still pressed against each other, we made our way to the window, the slingshot loaded in Sebastian\031s trembling hands, the letter opener held up in my tense grip. We didn\031t make it past the bronze globe before a bark boomed from across the room.\n\nShirley.\n\nWe both gasped and turned towards the door, dread coating my mind as Shirley\031s cries echoed down the hall. Despite our precautions, they still found him.\n\n\034For the sake of the dog, I suggest you put your weapons down and take a seat,\035 the voice said.\n\nThe slingshot clattered against the marble floor as Sebastian walked towards the leather couches, but I didn\031t move. He paused and turned to me, and his despair wrung my heart. He took a risk turning the boat around for me. He took a risk helping me get this far. As much as I wanted to run, I couldn\031t do that to him. I couldn\031t do that to Shirley.\n\nWith a quivering breath, I dropped the letter opener and joined Sebastian. We sank into the soft leather, gulping, our tense breaths synchronous as we waited in anxious anticipation.\n\nShirley\031s barks got louder and louder until a muscular, middle-aged man led him through the door by his leash, and Sebastian\031s despair multiplied as he whispered, \034Oh no, Gregor.\035\n\nI stared at the man, his stature imposing even from across the vast room. \034Th-that\031s Gregor?\035\n\nSebastian nodded, tearful as Shirley strained against his leash as he tried to run over to us.\n\n\034Sebastian, your delivery is a few hours late,\035 Gregor said with a smirk, giving the leash a harsh tug. \034How about you tell your horse to shut up so the humans can talk?\035\n\nSebastian\031s voice wavered as he said, \034Sh-Shirley, shush.\035\n\nShirley obeyed, his chestnut eyes bouncing between Sebastian and me.\n\n\034Candace, Sebastian, I\031d like to welcome you to my home,\035 the voice said, a subtle pretentiousness lilting its neutral accent. "My name is Alexander, but you may call me Alex. Or, if you prefer, father.\035\n\nSebastian and I turned to each other in absolute shock and incredulity.\n\n\\-----\n\n[Part 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tuv69j/the_cost_of_eternity_part_18/) - [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvmn7b/the_cost_of_eternity_part_28/) - **Part 3** - [Part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tx9ew4/the_cost_of_eternity_part_48/) - [Part 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/ty0xl2/the_cost_of_eternity_part_58/) - [Part 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tyrret/the_cost_of_eternity_part_68/) - *Part 7* - *Part 8*\n\n\\-----\n\n[SR](https://www.reddit.com/r/skittishreflections)
## 7 **A Study In Scarlet**\n\n**PART I.**\n\n*(Being a reprint from the reminiscences of* \n John H. Watson, M.D., \n *late of the Army Medical Department.)* \n\n**Chapter I.**\n\n**Mr. Sherlock Holmes**\n\nIn the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the army. Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers as Assistant Surgeon. The regiment was stationed in India at the time, and before I could join it, the second Afghan war had broken out. On landing at Bombay, I learned that my corps had advanced through the passes, and was already deep in the enemy's country. I followed, however, with many other officers who were in the same situation as myself, and succeeded in reaching Candahar in safety, where I found my regiment, and at once entered upon my new duties.\n\nThe campaign brought honours and promotion to many, but for me it had nothing but misfortune and disaster. I was removed from my brigade and attached to the Berkshires, with whom I served at the fatal battle of Maiwand. There I was struck on the shoulder by a Jezail bullet, which shattered the bone and grazed the subclavian artery. I should have fallen into the hands of the murderous Ghazis had it not been for the devotion and courage shown by Murray, my orderly, who threw me across a pack-horse, and succeeded in bringing me safely to the British lines.\n\nWorn with pain, and weak from the prolonged hardships which I had undergone, I was removed, with a great train of wounded sufferers, to the base hospital at Peshawar. Here I rallied, and had already improved so far as to be able to walk about the wards, and even to bask a little upon the verandah, when I was struck down by enteric fever, that curse of our Indian possessions. For months my life was despaired of, and when at last I came to myself and became convalescent, I was so weak and emaciated that a medical board determined that not a day should be lost in sending me back to England. I was dispatched, accordingly, in the troopship *Orontes*, and landed a month later on Portsmouth jetty, with my health irretrievably ruined, but with permission from a paternal government to spend the next nine months in attempting to improve it.\n\nI had neither kith nor kin in England, and was therefore as free as air\024or as free as an income of eleven shillings and sixpence a day will permit a man to be. Under such circumstances, I naturally gravitated to London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained. There I stayed for some time at a private hotel in the Strand, leading a comfortless, meaningless existence, and spending such money as I had, considerably more freely than I ought. So alarming did the state of my finances become, that I soon realized that I must either leave the metropolis and rusticate somewhere in the country, or that I must make a complete alteration in my style of living. Choosing the latter alternative, I began by making up my mind to leave the hotel, and to take up my quarters in some less pretentious and less expensive domicile.\n\nOn the very day that I had come to this conclusion, I was standing at the Criterion Bar, when some one tapped me on the shoulder, and turning round I recognized young Stamford, who had been a dresser under me at Bart's. The sight of a friendly face in the great wilderness of London is a pleasant thing indeed to a lonely man. In old days Stamford had never been a particular crony of mine, but now I hailed him with enthusiasm, and he, in his turn, appeared to be delighted to see me. In the exuberance of my joy, I asked him to lunch with me at the Holborn, and we started off together in a hansom.\n\n\034Whatever have you been doing with yourself, Watson?\035 he asked in undisguised wonder, as we rattled through the crowded London streets. \034You are as thin as a lath and as brown as a nut.\035\n\nI gave him a short sketch of my adventures, and had hardly concluded it by the time that we reached our destination.\n\n\034Poor devil!\035 he said, commiseratingly, after he had listened to my misfortunes. \034What are you up to now?\035\n\n\034Looking for lodgings,\035 I answered. \034Trying to solve the problem as to whether it is possible to get comfortable rooms at a reasonable price.\035\n\n\034That's a strange thing,\035 remarked my companion; \034you are the second man to-day that has used that expression to me.\035\n\n\034And who was the first?\035 I asked.\n\n\034A fellow who is working at the chemical laboratory up at the hospital. He was bemoaning himself this morning because he could not get someone to go halves with him in some nice rooms which he had found, and which were too much for his purse.\035\n\n\034By Jove!\035 I cried, \034if he really wants someone to share the rooms and the expense, I am the very man for him. I should prefer having a partner to being alone.\035\n\nYoung Stamford looked rather strangely at me over his wine-glass. \034You don't know Sherlock Holmes yet,\035 he said; \034perhaps you would not care for him as a constant companion.\035\n\n\034Why, what is there against him?\035\n\n\034Oh, I didn't say there was anything against him. He is a little queer in his ideas\024an enthusiast in some branches of science. As far as I know he is a decent fellow enough.\035\n\n\034A medical student, I suppose?\035 said I.\n\n\034No\024I have no idea what he intends to go in for. I believe he is well up in anatomy, and he is a first-class chemist; but, as far as I know, he has never taken out any systematic medical classes. His studies are very desultory and eccentric, but he has amassed a lot of out-of-the way knowledge which would astonish his professors.\035\n\n\034Did you never ask him what he was going in for?\035 I asked.\n\n\034No; he is not a man that it is easy to draw out, though he can be communicative enough when the fancy seizes him.\035\n\n\034I should like to meet him,\035 I said. \034If I am to lodge with anyone, I should prefer a man of studious and quiet habits. I am not strong enough yet to stand much noise or excitement. I had enough of both in Afghanistan to last me for the remainder of my natural existence. How could I meet this friend of yours?\035\n\n\034He is sure to be at the laboratory,\035 returned my companion. \034He either avoids the place for weeks, or else he works there from morning to night. If you like, we shall drive round together after luncheon.\035\n\n\034Certainly,\035 I answered, and the conversation drifted away into other channels.\n\nAs we made our way to the hospital after leaving the Holborn, Stamford gave me a few more particulars about the gentleman whom I proposed to take as a fellow-lodger.\n\n\034You mustn't blame me if you don't get on with him,\035 he said; \034I know nothing more of him than I have learned from meeting him occasionally in the laboratory. You proposed this arrangement, so you must not hold me responsible.\035\n\n\034If we don't get on it will be easy to part company,\035 I answered. \034It seems to me, Stamford,\035 I added, looking hard at my companion, \034that you have some reason for washing your hands of the matter. Is this fellow's temper so formidable, or what is it? Don't be mealy-mouthed about it.\035\n\n\034It is not easy to express the inexpressible,\035 he answered with a laugh. \034Holmes is a little too scientific for my tastes\024it approaches to cold-bloodedness. I could imagine his giving a friend a little pinch of the latest vegetable alkaloid, not out of malevolence, you understand, but simply out of a spirit of inquiry in order to have an accurate idea of the effects. To do him justice, I think that he would take it himself with the same readiness. He appears to have a passion for definite and exact knowledge.\035\n\n\034Very right too.\035\n\n\034Yes, but it may be pushed to excess. When it comes to beating the subjects in the dissecting-rooms with a stick, it is certainly taking rather a bizarre shape.\035\n\n\034Beating the subjects!\035\n\n\034Yes, to verify how far bruises may be produced after death. I saw him at it with my own eyes.\035\n\n\034And yet you say he is not a medical student?\035\n\n\034No. Heaven knows what the objects of his studies are. But here we are, and you must form your own impressions about him.\035 As he spoke, we turned down a narrow lane and passed through a small side-door, which opened into a wing of the great hospital. It was familiar ground to me, and I needed no guiding as we ascended the bleak stone staircase and made our way down the long corridor with its vista of whitewashed wall and dun-coloured doors. Near the further end a low arched passage branched away from it and led to the chemical laboratory.\n\nThis was a lofty chamber, lined and littered with countless bottles. Broad, low tables were scattered about, which bristled with retorts, test-tubes, and little Bunsen lamps, with their blue flickering flames. There was only one student in the room, who was bending over a distant table absorbed in his work. At the sound of our steps he glanced round and sprang to his feet with a cry of pleasure. \034I've found it! I've found it,\035 he shouted to my companion, running towards us with a test-tube in his hand. \034I have found a re-agent which is precipitated by hSmoglobin, and by nothing else.\035 Had he discovered a gold mine, greater delight could not have shone upon his features.\n\n\034Dr. Watson, Mr. Sherlock Holmes,\035 said Stamford, introducing us.\n\n\034How are you?\035 he said cordially, gripping my hand with a strength for which I should hardly have given him credit. \034You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.\035\n\n\034How on earth did you know that?\035 I asked in astonishment.\n\n\034Never mind,\035 said he, chuckling to himself. \034The question now is about hSmoglobin. No doubt you see the significance of this discovery of mine?\035\n\n\034It is interesting, chemically, no doubt,\035 I answered, \034but practically\024\035\n\n\034Why, man, it is the most practical medico-legal discovery for years. Don't you see that it gives us an infallible test for blood stains. Come over here now!\035 He seized me by the coat-sleeve in his eagerness, and drew me over to the table at which he had been working. \034Let us have some fresh blood,\035 he said, digging a long bodkin into his finger, and drawing off the resulting drop of blood in a chemical pipette. \034Now, I add this small quantity of blood to a litre of water. You perceive that the resulting mixture has the appearance of pure water. The proportion of blood cannot be more than one in a million. I have no doubt, however, that we shall be able to obtain the characteristic reaction.\035 As he spoke, he threw into the vessel a few white crystals, and then added some drops of a transparent fluid. In an instant the contents assumed a dull mahogany colour, and a brownish dust was precipitated to the bottom of the glass jar.\n\n\034Ha! ha!\035 he cried, clapping his hands, and looking as delighted as a child with a new toy. \034What do you think of that?\035\n\n\034It seems to be a very delicate test,\035 I remarked.\n\n\034Beautiful! beautiful! The old Guiacum test was very clumsy and uncertain. So is the microscopic examination for blood corpuscles. The latter is valueless if the stains are a few hours old. Now, this appears to act as well whether the blood is old or new. Had this test been invented, there are hundreds of men now walking the earth who would long ago have paid the penalty of their crimes.\035\n\n\034Indeed!\035 I murmured.\n\n\034Criminal cases are continually hinging upon that one point. A man is suspected of a crime months perhaps after it has been committed. His linen or clothes are examined, and brownish stains discovered upon them. Are they blood stains, or mud stains, or rust stains, or fruit stains, or what are they? That is a question which has puzzled many an expert, and why? Because there was no reliable test. Now we have the Sherlock Holmes' test, and there will no longer be any difficulty.\035\n\nHis eyes fairly glittered as he spoke, and he put his hand over his heart and bowed as if to some applauding crowd conjured up by his imagination.\n\n\034You are to be congratulated,\035 I remarked, considerably surprised at his enthusiasm.\n\n\034There was the case of Von Bischoff at Frankfort last year. He would certainly have been hung had this test been in existence. Then there was Mason of Bradford, and the notorious Muller, and Lefevre of Montpellier, and Samson of new Orleans. I could name a score of cases in which it would have been decisive.\035\n\n\034You seem to be a walking calendar of crime,\035 said Stamford with a laugh. \034You might start a paper on those lines. Call it the \030Police News of the Past.\031\035\n\n\034Very interesting reading it might be made, too,\035 remarked Sherlock Holmes, sticking a small piece of plaster over the prick on his finger. \034I have to be careful,\035 he continued, turning to me with a smile, \034for I dabble with poisons a good deal.\035 He held out his hand as he spoke, and I noticed that it was all mottled over with similar pieces of plaster, and discoloured with strong acids.\n\n\034We came here on business,\035 said Stamford, sitting down on a high three-legged stool, and pushing another one in my direction with his foot. \034My friend here wants to take diggings, and as you were complaining that you could get no one to go halves with you, I thought that I had better bring you together.\035\n\nSherlock Holmes seemed delighted at the idea of sharing his rooms with me. \034I have my eye on a suite in Baker Street,\035 he said, \034which would suit us down to the ground. You don't mind the smell of strong tobacco, I hope?\035\n\n\034I always smoke \030ship's\031 myself,\035 I answered.\n\n\034That's good enough. I generally have chemicals about, and occasionally do experiments. Would that annoy you?\035\n\n\034By no means.\035\n\n\034Let me see\024what are my other shortcomings. I get in the dumps at times, and don't open my mouth for days on end. You must not think I am sulky when I do that. Just let me alone, and I'll soon be right. What have you to confess now? It's just as well for two fellows to know the worst of one another before they begin to live together.\035\n\nI laughed at this cross-examination. \034I keep a bull pup,\035 I said, \034and I object to rows because my nerves are shaken, and I get up at all sorts of ungodly hours, and I am extremely lazy. I have another set of vices when I'm well, but those are the principal ones at present.\035\n\n\034Do you include violin-playing in your category of rows?\035 he asked, anxiously.\n\n\034It depends on the player,\035 I answered. \034A well-played violin is a treat for the gods\024a badly-played one\024\035\n\n\034Oh, that's all right,\035 he cried, with a merry laugh. \034I think we may consider the thing as settled\024that is, if the rooms are agreeable to you.\035\n\n\034When shall we see them?\035\n\n\034Call for me here at noon to-morrow, and we'll go together and settle everything,\035 he answered.\n\n\034All right\024noon exactly,\035 said I, shaking his hand.\n\nWe left him working among his chemicals, and we walked together towards my hotel.\n\n\034By the way,\035 I asked suddenly, stopping and turning upon Stamford, \034how the deuce did he know that I had come from Afghanistan?\035\n\nMy companion smiled an enigmatical smile. \034That's just his little peculiarity,\035 he said. \034A good many people have wanted to know how he finds things out.\035\n\n\034Oh! a mystery is it?\035 I cried, rubbing my hands. \034This is very piquant. I am much obliged to you for bringing us together. \030The proper study of mankind is man,\031 you know.\035\n\n\034You must study him, then,\035 Stamford said, as he bade me good-bye. \034You'll find him a knotty problem, though. I'll wager he learns more about you than you about him. Good-bye.\035\n\n\034Good-bye,\035 I answered, and strolled on to my hotel, considerably interested in my new acquaintance.\n\n#### Chapter II.\n\n#### The Science Of Deduction\n\nWe met next day as he had arranged, and inspected the rooms at No. 221b, Baker Street, of which he had spoken at our meeting. They consisted of a couple of comfortable bed-rooms and a single large airy sitting-room, cheerfully furnished, and illuminated by two broad windows. So desirable in every way were the apartments, and so moderate did the terms seem when divided between us, that the bargain was concluded upon the spot, and we at once entered into possession. That very evening I moved my things round from the hotel, and on the following morning Sherlock Holmes followed me with several boxes and portmanteaus. For a day or two we were busily employed in unpacking and laying out our property to the best advantage. That done, we gradually began to settle down and to accommodate ourselves to our new surroundings.\n\nHolmes was certainly not a difficult man to live with. He was quiet in his ways, and his habits were regular. It was rare for him to be up after ten at night, and he had invariably breakfasted and gone out before I rose in the morning. Sometimes he spent his day at the chemical laboratory, sometimes in the dissecting-rooms, and occasionally in long walks, which appeared to take him into the lowest portions of the City. Nothing could exceed his energy when the working fit was upon him; but now and again a reaction would seize him, and for days on end he would lie upon the sofa in the sitting-room, hardly uttering a word or moving a muscle from morning to night. On these occasions I have noticed such a dreamy, vacant expression in his eyes, that I might have suspected him of being addicted to the use of some narcotic, had not the temperance and cleanliness of his whole life forbidden such a notion.\n\nAs the weeks went by, my interest in him and my curiosity as to his aims in life, gradually deepened and increased. His very person and appearance were such as to strike the attention of the most casual observer. In height he was rather over six feet, and so excessively lean that he seemed to be considerably taller. His eyes were sharp and piercing, save during those intervals of torpor to which I have alluded; and his thin, hawk-like nose gave his whole expression an air of alertness and decision. His chin, too, had the prominence and squareness which mark the man of determination. His hands were invariably blotted with ink and stained with chemicals, yet he was possessed of extraordinary delicacy of touch, as I frequently had occasion to observe when I watched him manipulating his fragile philosophical instruments.\n\nThe reader may set me down as a hopeless busybody, when I confess how much this man stimulated my curiosity, and how often I endeavoured to break through the reticence which he showed on all that concerned himself. Before pronouncing judgment, however, be it remembered, how objectless was my life, and how little there was to engage my attention. My health forbade me from venturing out unless the weather was exceptionally genial, and I had no friends who would call upon me and break the monotony of my daily existence. Under these circumstances, I eagerly hailed the little mystery which hung around my companion, and spent much of my time in endeavouring to unravel it.\n\nHe was not studying medicine. He had himself, in reply to a question, confirmed Stamford's opinion upon that point. Neither did he appear to have pursued any course of reading which might fit him for a degree in science or any other recognized portal which would give him an entrance into the learned world. Yet his zeal for certain studies was remarkable, and within eccentric limits his knowledge was so extraordinarily ample and minute that his observations have fairly astounded me. Surely no man would work so hard or attain such precise information unless he had some definite end in view. Desultory readers are seldom remarkable for the exactness of their learning. No man burdens his mind with small matters unless he has some very good reason for doing so.\n\nHis ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge. Of contemporary literature, philosophy and politics he appeared to know next to nothing. Upon my quoting Thomas Carlyle, he inquired in the naivest way who he might be and what he had done. My surprise reached a climax, however, when I found incidentally that he was ignorant of the Copernican Theory and of the composition of the Solar System. That any civilized human being in this nineteenth century should not be aware that the earth travelled round the sun appeared to be to me such an extraordinary fact that I could hardly realize it.\n\n\034You appear to be astonished,\035 he said, smiling at my expression of surprise. \034Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it.\035\n\n\034To forget it!\035\n\n\034You see,\035 he explained, \034I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.\035\n\n\034But the Solar System!\035 I protested.\n\n\034What the deuce is it to me?\035 he interrupted impatiently; \034you say that we go round the sun. If we went round the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or to my work.\035\n\nI was on the point of asking him what that work might be, but something in his manner showed me that the question would be an unwelcome one. I pondered over our short conversation, however, and endeavoured to draw my deductions from it. He said that he would acquire no knowledge which did not bear upon his object. Therefore all the knowledge which he possessed was such as would be useful to him. I enumerated in my own mind all the various points upon which he had shown me that he was exceptionally well-informed. I even took a pencil and jotted them down. I could not help smiling at the document when I had completed it. It ran in this way\024\n\n&#x200B;\n\n1. Knowledge of Literature.\024Nil.\n2. Philosophy.\024Nil.\n3. Astronomy.\024Nil.\n4. Politics.\024Feeble.\n5. Botany.\024Variable. Well up in belladonna, opium, and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening.\n6. Geology.\024Practical, but limited. Tells at a glance different soils from each other. After walks has shown me splashes upon his trousers, and told me by their colour and consistence in what part of London he had received them.\n7. Chemistry.\024Profound.\n8. Anatomy.\024Accurate, but unsystematic.\n9. Sensational Literature.\024Immense. He appears to know every detail of every horror perpetrated in the century.\n10. Plays the violin well.\n11. Is an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman.\n12. Has a good practical knowledge of British law.\n\nWhen I had got so far in my list I threw it into the fire in despair. \034If I can only find what the fellow is driving at by reconciling all these accomplishments, and discovering a calling which needs them all,\035 I said to myself, \034I may as well give up the attempt at once.\035\n\nI see that I have alluded above to his powers upon the violin. These were very remarkable, but as eccentric as all his other accomplishments. That he could play pieces, and difficult pieces, I knew well, because at my request he has played me some of Mendelssohn's Lieder, and other favourites. When left to himself, however, he would seldom produce any music or attempt any recognized air. Leaning back in his arm-chair of an evening, he would close his eyes and scrape carelessly at the fiddle which was thrown across his knee. Sometimes the chords were sonorous and melancholy. Occasionally they were fantastic and cheerful. Clearly they reflected the thoughts which possessed him, but whether the music aided those thoughts, or whether the playing was simply the result of a whim or fancy was more than I could determine. I might have rebelled against these exasperating solos had it not been that he usually terminated them by playing in quick succession a whole series of my favourite airs as a slight compensation for the trial upon my patience.\n\nDuring the first week or so we had no callers, and I had begun to think that my companion was as friendless a man as I was myself. Presently, however, I found that he had many acquaintances, and those in the most different classes of society. There was one little sallow rat-faced, dark-eyed fellow who was introduced to me as Mr. Lestrade, and who came three or four times in a single week. One morning a young girl called, fashionably dressed, and stayed for half an hour or more. The same afternoon brought a grey-headed, seedy visitor, looking like a Jew pedlar, who appeared to me to be much excited, and who was closely followed by a slipshod elderly woman. On another occasion an old white-haired gentleman had an interview with my companion; and on another a railway porter in his velveteen uniform. When any of these nondescript individuals put in an appearance, Sherlock Holmes used to beg for the use of the sitting-room, and I would retire to my bed-room. He always apologized to me for putting me to this inconvenience. \034I have to use this room as a place of business,\035 he said, \034and these people are my clients.\035 Again I had an opportunity of asking him a point blank question, and again my delicacy prevented me from forcing another man to confide in me. I imagined at the time that he had some strong reason for not alluding to it, but he soon dispelled the idea by coming round to the subject of his own accord.\n\nIt was upon the 4th of March, as I have good reason to remember, that I rose somewhat earlier than usual, and found that Sherlock Holmes had not yet finished his breakfast. The landlady had become so accustomed to my late habits that my place had not been laid nor my coffee prepared. With the unreasonable petulance of mankind I rang the bell and gave a curt intimation that I was ready. Then I picked up a magazine from the table and attempted to while away the time with it, while my companion munched silently at his toast. One of the articles had a pencil mark at the heading, and I naturally began to run my eye through it.\n\nIts somewhat ambitious title was \034The Book of Life,\035 and it attempted to show how much an observant man might learn by an accurate and systematic examination of all that came in his way. It struck me as being a remarkable mixture of shrewdness and of absurdity. The reasoning was close and intense, but the deductions appeared to me to be far-fetched and exaggerated. The writer claimed by a momentary expression, a twitch of a muscle or a glance of an eye, to fathom a man's inmost thoughts. Deceit, according to him, was an impossibility in the case of one trained to observation and analysis. His conclusions were as infallible as so many propositions of Euclid. So startling would his results appear to the uninitiated that until they learned the processes by which he had arrived at them they might well consider him as a necromancer.\n\n\034From a drop of water,\035 said the writer, \034a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. So all life is a great chain, the nature of which is known whenever we are shown a single link of it. Like all other arts, the Science of Deduction and Analysis is one which can only be acquired by long and patient study nor is life long enough to allow any mortal to attain the highest possible perfection in it. Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the enquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems. Let him, on meeting a fellow-mortal, learn at a glance to distinguish the history of the man, and the trade or profession to which he belongs. Puerile as such an exercise may seem, it sharpens the faculties of observation, and teaches one where to look and what to look for. By a man's finger nails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boot, by his trouser knees, by the callosities of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt cuffs\024by each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent enquirer in any case is almost inconceivable.\035\n\n\034What ineffable twaddle!\035 I cried, slapping the magazine down on the table, \034I never read such rubbish in my life.\035\n\n\034What is it?\035 asked Sherlock Holmes.\n\n\034Why, this article,\035 I said, pointing at it with my egg spoon as I sat down to my breakfast. \034I see that you have read it since you have marked it. I don't deny that it is smartly written. It irritates me though. It is evidently the theory of some arm-chair lounger who evolves all these neat little paradoxes in the seclusion of his own study. It is not practical. I should like to see him clapped down in a third class carriage on the Underground, and asked to give the trades of all his fellow-travellers. I would lay a thousand to one against him.\035\n\n\034You would lose your money,\035 Sherlock Holmes remarked calmly. \034As for the article I wrote it myself.\035\n\n\034You!\035\n\n\034Yes, I have a turn both for observation and for deduction. The theories which I have expressed there, and which appear to you to be so chimerical are really extremely practical\024so practical that I depend upon them for my bread and cheese.\035\n\n\034And how?\035 I asked involuntarily.\n\n\034Well, I have a trade of my own. I suppose I am the only one in the world. I'm a consulting detective, if you can understand what that is. Here in London we have lots of Government detectives and lots of private ones. When these fellows are at fault they come to me, and I manage to put them on the right scent. They lay all the evidence before me, and I am generally able, by the help of my knowledge of the history of crime, to set them straight. There is a strong family resemblance about misdeeds, and if you have all the details of a thousand at your finger ends, it is odd if you can't unravel the thousand and first. Lestrade is a well-known detective. He got himself into a fog recently over a forgery case, and that was what brought him here.\035\n\n\034And these other people?\035\n\n\034They are mostly sent on by private inquiry agencies. They are all people who are in trouble about something, and want a little enlightening. I listen to their story, they listen to my comments, and then I pocket my fee.\035\n\n\034But do you mean to say,\035 I said, \034that without leaving your room you can unravel some knot which other men can make nothing of, although they have seen every detail for themselves?\035\n\n\034Quite so. I have a kind of intuition that way. Now and again a case turns up which is a little more complex. Then I have to bustle about and see things with my own eyes. You see I have a lot of special knowledge which I apply to the problem, and which facilitates matters wonderfully. Those rules of deduction laid down in that article which aroused your scorn, are invaluable to me in practical work. Observation with me is second nature. You appeared to be surprised when I told you, on our first meeting, that you had come from Afghanistan.\035\n\n\034You were told, no doubt.\035\n\n\034Nothing of the sort. I *knew* you came from Afghanistan. From long habit the train of thoughts ran so swiftly through my mind, that I arrived at the conclusion without being conscious of intermediate steps. There were such steps, however. The train of reasoning ran, \030Here is a gentleman of a medical type, but with the air of a military man. Clearly an army doctor, then. He has just come from the tropics, for his face is dark, and that is not the natural tint of his skin, for his wrists are fair. He has undergone hardship and sickness, as his haggard face says clearly. His left arm has been injured. He holds it in a stiff and unnatural manner. Where in the tropics could an English army doctor have seen much hardship and got his arm wounded? Clearly in Afghanistan.\031 The whole train of thought did not occupy a second. I then remarked that you came from Afghanistan, and you were astonished.\035\n\n\034It is simple enough as you explain it,\035 I said, smiling. \034You remind me of Edgar Allen Poe's Dupin. I had no idea that such individuals did exist outside of stories.\035\n\nSherlock Holmes rose and lit his pipe. \034No doubt you think that you are complimenting me in comparing me to Dupin,\035 he observed. \034Now, in my opinion, Dupin was a very inferior fellow. That trick of his of breaking in on his friends' thoughts with an apropos remark after a quarter of an hour's silence is really very showy and superficial. He had some analytical genius, no doubt; but he was by no means such a phenomenon as Poe appeared to imagine.\035\n\n\034Have you read Gaboriau's works?\035 I asked. \034Does Lecoq come up to your idea of a detective?\035\n\nSherlock Holmes sniffed sardonically. \034Lecoq was a miserable bungler,\035 he said, in an angry voice; \034he had only one thing to recommend him, and that was his energy. That book made me positively ill. The question was how to identify an unknown prisoner. I could have done it in twenty-four hours. Lecoq took six months or so. It might be made a text-book for detectives to teach them what to avoid.\035\n\nI felt rather indignant at having two characters whom I had admired treated in this cavalier style. I walked over to the window, and stood looking out into the busy street. \034This fellow may be very clever,\035 I said to myself, \034but he is certainly very conceited.\035\n\n\034There are no crimes and no criminals in these days,\035 he said, querulously. \034What is the use of having brains in our profession? I know well that I have it in me to make my name famous. No man lives or has ever lived who has brought the same amount of study and of natural talent to the detection of crime which I have done. And what is the result? There is no crime to detect, or, at most, some bungling villany with a motive so transparent that even a Scotland Yard official can see through it.\035\n\nI was still annoyed at his bumptious style of conversation. I thought it best to change the topic.\n\n\034I wonder what that fellow is looking for?\035 I asked, pointing to a stalwart, plainly-dressed individual who was walking slowly down the other side of the street, looking anxiously at the numbers. He had a large blue envelope in his hand, and was evidently the bearer of a message.\n\n\034You mean the retired sergeant of Marines,\035 said Sherlock Holmes.\n\n\034Brag and bounce!\035 thought I to myself. \034He knows that I cannot verify his guess.\035\n\nThe thought had hardly passed through my mind when the man whom we were watching caught sight of the number on our door, and ran rapidly across the roadway. We heard a loud knock, a deep voice below, and heavy steps ascending the stair.\n\n\034For Mr. Sherlock Holmes,\035 he said, stepping into the room and handing my friend the letter.\n\nHere was an opportunity of taking the conceit out of him. He little thought of this when he made that random shot. \034May I ask, my lad,\035 I said, in the blandest voice, \034what your trade may be?\035\n\n\034Commissionaire, sir,\035 he said, gruffly. \034Uniform away for repairs.\035\n\n\034And you were?\035 I asked, with a slightly malicious glance at my companion.\n\n\034A sergeant, sir, Royal Marine Light Infantry, sir. No answer? Right, sir.\035\n\nHe clicked his heels together, raised his hand in a salute, and was gone.
## 8 The year was 2012&\nI was 17 years old&\n\nWas walking around my school\031s yard& \nWhen I spotted this unique looking blonde girl& she was different from the others I\031d seen there so far& \n\nWe kept staring at each other for several minutes& \n\nA few days later I get a text on Windows Live Messenger from a female classmate saying \034Hey, a friend of mine wants to meet you. Do you want her number?\035 \n\nI said \034Yeah!\035 \n\nTo my surprise it was the blonde girl from school& we started texting lots and lots& I was needy, clingy as heck with her& time passed by& then one day, we were going home together from class when I asked THE QUESTION& \034Do you want to be my girlfriend?\035 \nHer reply was a shy and happy yes..\n\nThe next day would follow with our first kiss& I still remember how comfortably warm her lips were& \n\nFrom there on I would live the 3 happiest months of my entire life& \nWe dated every single weekend&\n\nI was needy, but she was too& and we would pester each other with texts all day&\nShe was the first and only woman I ever loved& \n\nI sometimes see her in the present days& oh boy do I miss her >y=-
## 9 Greetings, pilots!\n\nSpring is here, and we\031re dropping another meaty content update as promised. Along with a new fighter class, new ship modules, new story content, and new enemy ships, we\031ve also made major changes to the crafting system, mining, and resource management as well as how ship devices work. We also addressed progression issues and reprioritized difficulty settings and localization. Meaning, we\031re ahead of schedule! So let\031s get right into it with the [official release trailer](https://youtu.be/eOJz6GS6Gew). \n\n# Stinger\031s Debut\n\n*Stinger\031s Debut*, previously titled *Rogue\031s Debut* in the 2022 roadmap, adds the *Stinger*, EVERSPACE 2\031s third light fighter class. This new ship focuses on electronic warfare, making devices a critical component for pilots who favor agile, ability-focused spacecraft. When using ship devices, a third weapon hardpoint underneath the Stinger\031s hull is activated, dealing 50% more primary damage.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/nveps6bfq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=b603ac17e1444053146a1a6d0e0bc976aff41bf2\n\nThe *Stinger*\031s Void Swarm Ultimate instantly resets device cooldowns and releases a swarm of aggressive micro-bots that consume everything in their way, prioritizing the locked target. Upon return, these bots restore the player ship\031s hull and armor based on damage dealt. *Stinger* vessels can roll with random perks like 20% reduced cooldown for support or warfare devices, Void Swarm radius increased by 25%, or become cloaked for five seconds after its shield is depleted.\n\n# New Story Content\n\nAs we announced in our [2022 roadmap news](https://steamcommunity.com/app/1128920/eventcomments/3192486000824064324?snr=2_9_100003_&ctp=4) in December last year, the spring update will feature \034a bit more\035 story content among lots of other things. While there are \034only\035 one and half main missions left to conclude the Early Access portion of the story campaign, it finishes with a large-scale boss battle and major storyline beat before things continue into the grand finale at full release.\n\n[ ](https://preview.redd.it/anf6zt5hq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=d28b389eb3826f4227c5f2539f26022114f62c63)\n\nWe also added the 2nd part of the multi-stage side mission *Parasite*. As many of you might recall, *Adam* now has to prevent a computer virus from spreading all over the DMZ that he has accidentally unleashed, so he\031ll need help from his new, dubious hacker friend, *Fallon Pango*.\n\n# New Enemy Ships\n\nWith the continuation of the story, we also introduce new enemy ships, like the *Okkar Clerical Corvette* and the *Okkar Prime* units. With the introduction of these ships, time to share some lore with those not familiar with the *Okkar* that were introduced in the predecessor.\n\nThe *Okkar Fleet* manufactures its own ships, weaponry, and mining equipment without the aid of independent contractors. Private corporations do not exist in *Okkar* society, the concept of capitalism was unknown until the arrival of *Colonials* in the 30th Century. Nonetheless, this has not prevented *Okkar* technology from developing on par with human advancement, although distinctively different in design and function. Experts put the origins of *Okkar* space exploration and technological development at some one thousand solar years before humans.\n\n[The Okkar Clerical Corvette belongs to the cleric caste. Generally, ships like this are seen on diplomatic missions to ease tension between Humans and the Okkar after the war, but its advanced high-tech warfare capabilities are meant to leave no doubt about who would be in control if a situation should get out of hand or escalate into a serious military conflict. ](https://preview.redd.it/n4wh20viq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e4d9d8299b3dc255521335ca48c634e40d3eff8)\n\n[The Okkar Prime are a patriotic subfaction wanting to rid the Beltegrades of Colonials altogether and restore all Okkar territories lost in the war. They agitate within their society for war and intervene against the more peaceful ruling clerical caste. ](https://preview.redd.it/vri1aoyjq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=7f0fac57f3a888759aa6cf62d6175dca57d38a20)\n\n# Overhauled Crafting\n\nAs always, EVERSPACE 2 is all about that sweet, sweet loot. The crafting system is designed to complement the player\031s gear growth when loot drop RNG isn\031t working as desired. However, \034filling in the gaps\035 is neither the crafting system\031s main nor sole purpose. Our overhaul gives purpose to crafting from the beginning of a new save file to beyond the final mission; no RNG needed. This has been accomplished through the resource overhaul, granting access to new blueprints through a far more accessible system.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/sc5c1i4mq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9eefa638e622312490d80edfa6bdb928d2636a6\n\nItem blueprints are needed before crafting, and our veteran players know a blueprint can be earned by dismantling three of the same item at the same tier. To make progression just a little easier, we\031ve made blueprints infrequently drop from enemies as well. Instead of RNG working against the player, now it randomly helps instead. This small change gives players faster access to crafting possibilities. \n\n\nComponents (previously called tech resources) have also been added to the crafting list. Because of this, and because of the changes above, a lot of the RNG that hindered players before is quickly vanishing. We\031ve seen forum posts trying to find ways to spawn certain components over others (spoiler: they don\031t), so being able to craft with a handful of ingredients should be a powerfully welcome addition. \n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/u8r9czxnq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=2ac006c2330a07f666a55b2b53481e75ab18b647\n\nSpeaking of additions, catalysts are powerful new craftables that can directly specialize an item\031s prefix through modification, however, the blueprints themselves are harder to find. Instead of being dropped from random enemies, catalyst blueprints can only be found from high-risk location bosses. Also, this is just the first round of catalysts. More will appear in the future, opening up new customization routes by tampering with item modifiers themselves. \n\n\nWith all these overhauls, it is more than possible to track the location of desired resources, build a specific much-needed component, and upgrade a desired perk or craft a catalyst.\n\n# Reworked Ship Devices\n\nDevice progression has been fundamentally changed. Upon acquiring a device, players can now upgrade it up to four times, improving the duration or strength of the device\031s effects, increasing the number of charges, or lower cooldown timers. The previous three modes are now unlocked once you master a device by maxing out its level, and you can freely swap between all three modes so long as the device isn\031t on cooldown.\n\n[ ](https://preview.redd.it/rdzkatepq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc7a7a2409e6da7ee1a956ddb7e3f7de2e781946)\n\nChoose device upgrades carefully, however. If you want to remove the upgrades you\031ve applied, you\031ll have to spend crafting ingredients to peel them off. Good thing the crafting inventory is now limitless!\n\n# Rebalanced XP plus WIP Difficulty Settings\n\nWith the EVERSPACE 2 *Stinger\031s Debut* update, we\031re also addressing balancing and progression issues, again. The XP curve has been flattened at the beginning, so when starting a new game, players should hit level 10 after playing through all main and side story content as well as completing all challenges in *Ceto*. Since complaints about the game being too hard or too easy have still been the biggest issue even after several rounds of rebalancing, we also introduced experimental difficulty levels: Very Easy / Easy / Normal / Hard / Very Hard, which can be changed anytime.\n\nThe system is still at an early stage and just the first step to providing more pilots with the level of challenge they are looking for. On *Very Hard*, our most skilled devs finally started seeing a proper challenge when playing EVERSPACE 2 for real. For a change, they occasionally die even when using every trick they have up their sleeves. On *Very Easy*, even less skilled pilots can enjoy the adventure through space without breaking too much of a sweat when learning combat and build mechanics of the game.\n\nRight now, the settings affect enemy damage output, enemy aim accuracy, and enemy health, but we also plan to add different enemy spawn rates, game economy, and gameplay rules aka handicaps much as we did in the predecessor. Of course, difficulty settings will also have an impact on loot and resources drop rate and quality in the launch version of the game.\n\n# WIP Localization\n\nAnother re-prioritized feature is the addition of WIP language support for German, French, Italian, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, Polish, Czech, Simplified and Traditional Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. Furthermore, we also plan to enable our community to add further languages through [Crowdin](https://support.crowdin.com/) which we will add in the future if there\031s enough demand.\n\nNow, even though the game\031s story content is not complete yet, we\031re already at a whopping 80,000+ word count and we\031re using a lot of genre-specific terms as well as puns that carry on for several missions. We\031ve been working with our professional localization friends from [Synthesis](https://www.synthesis-germany.com/) on the listed languages above. However, we can tell from double-checking the German version that a lot of things can be lost in translation. So, if anyone finds any awkward or incorrect translation, we would highly appreciate the community\031s support to iron out any kinks before the full release.\n\nLast but not least, shout out to Polish science-fiction author [StanisBaw Lem](https://www.facebook.com/stanislawlem) for letting *HIVE* borrow various quotes from the novel [*The Cyberiad*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cyberiad) in the Polish language version of EVERSPACE 2, free of charge. During the process of translating the game into Polish, our localization partners came up with this idea, and we just loved it, but no spoilers!\n\n# Demo Content\n\nWhile less important to all you Kickstarter Backer who already have Early Access, the content-gated EVERSPACE 2 demo on [Steam](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1128920/EVERSPACE_2/) has been updated with all relevant changes, including WIP localization. In the updated demo, players from all over the globe can explore the first sector of EVERSPACE 2\031s first star system and carry their save game over to Early Access. Got a friend on the fence about EVERSPACE 2? Point them at the demo to get hands-on before buying!\n\n# 0.8.25290 - Changelog\n\n**Features**\n\n* Added text localization for various languages (work in progress)\n* Added new main mission and new side missions\n* Added new player ship class: Stinger\n* Added new enemy faction: Okkar Prime\n* Added new voice recordings (no Text-To-Speech fallbacks in version 0.8)\n* Added new ship modules for heavy and light player ship classes\n* Added new companion perk for decreasing cruise mode charge duration\n* Added new weapons and modules\n* Added new "Sustained" weapon prefix that increases energy capacity\n* Added new item sets\n* Added option to show a horizon indicator in HUD\n* Added an option to en- or disable pausing of the game when window is unfocused (community suggestion)\n* Blueprints for crafting equipment can now be found or received by dismantling the respective item multiple times\n* Parts, mineable resources, components and catalysts are now stored in a separate crafting inventory, no longer occupying space of cargo or storage\n* Crafting of components (formerly tech resources) and catalysts now possible\n* Mining resources has the chance of spawning the same resource in a higher rarity\n* Mined resources are now displayed in the location info window once the Location Scanner perk level 2 has been unlocked\n* Devices can now be upgraded and mastered. Upgrading increases device attributes. Mastering unlocks all device modes\n* UI: Added dedicated crafting tab to ingame menu\n* UI: Added option (toggle) to show current item level on top of the item icon within inventories\n* UI: Added new sorting option "SortByLevel" for cargo inventories\n* UI: Added total selling value info when selling multiple items at once\n* UI: Added ingame dialog log to the pause menu to recap the most recent conversations\n\n**Tweaks**\n\n* Increased player level cap from 20 to 22\n* Revised ore and crystal resources and properly distributed them among regions of all systems\n* Removed random spawns in the last stage of mission "The Convert"\n* Dialogs get aborted when involved speakers are destroyed\n* Improved texture streaming\n* Improved video ram usage\n* Speedward shield will now also recharge during cruise drive\n* Reworked Outlaw Bomb Thrower: No more invincibility shield but a fast high-capacity shield\n* Reworked Outlaw Bomb Thrower barrel bombs: Less damage but disable shields for a few seconds\n* Slightly decreased Cruise Booster's cruise mode charge duration\n* Improved handling of player attacking the freighter during "Picking Up The Pieces"\n* When having to get rid of all interfering creatures during "X Marks The Spot", a vague search area waypoint is now displayed\n* Combined log books 2 & 3 in "X Marks The Spot" into one and removed one "locate signal" task\n* Invasions will not show a warning banner anymore and often spawn farther away so that invaders do not target the player immediately\n* Show in marker details when hovered from further away if a pickup is needed as an ingredient for a tracked perk\n* Renamed Mainframe Expansion to Mainframe Component\n* Renamed Augment to Mainframe Expansion\n* "3rd Person Camera Stiffness" setting now affects linear camera lag\n* Limited linear camera lag to prevent player ship from leaving the screen\n* Ship colors and decals don't get previewed on hover/select anymore. They now only change when "equip" is pressed\n* Improved performance in Charybdis Bowl\n* Tareen now flies a ship that looks like the one he used in original Everspace\n* Use a new icon for debris from which drones can be spawned when flying Vindicator\n* Changed "Adapt Item" to "Remove Level Restriction". This modification now also costs slightly more parts\n* Made ship handling a little more tangible through slight tweaks in banking/inertia behavior\n* Changed EMP Generator "Short Circuit" mode to apply normal energy damage instead of damaging the shield only\n* Updated Outlaw Drone Carrier link drone visual effect\n* Increased Redeemer Inquisitor hull and shield HP\n* Outlaw Vipers are now immune to corrosion\n* Prevent Disintegrator from accumulating excessive backwards acceleration\n* "Powerful" and "Marksman" affixes can now also appear / be applied to launcher weapons\n* Enemies, except for Anti-Missile Drones, can no longer shoot down player missiles\n* Balanced prefix chances for items\n* Balancing: Increased probability of Elite enemies with player level\n* Balancing: Slightly increased Outlaw Missile Turret damage\n* Balancing: Increased Synchro Pulse energy consumption and spread\n* Balancing: Adjusted shield and armor bonuses for all ships to match late-game hull hitpoint values\n* Balancing: Slower leveling, less xp from lower-level enemies, less aggressive downscaling of enemies to player level\n* Balancing: Decreased hull hitpoint bonus gained from Structure attribute\n* Balancing: Increased shield capacity scaling, use same scaling for armor with lowered base values\n* Balancing: Increased divergence of shield and armor bonus values between ship classes\n* Balancing: Added two additional underside turrets to Outlaw Drone Carrier\n* Balancing: Outlaw Drone Carriers now spawn combat drones\n* Balancing: Reduced "Crit Happens" perk range from 500m to 300m\n* Balancing: Reduced Striker expertise scaling\n* Balancing: Slightly reduced Precision scaling\n* Balancing: Adjusted Firepower scaling curve for greater damage bonus in early game and less in late game\n* Balancing: Signal Decoders will now only drop from outlaw stations, some rare containers, elites and capital ships\n* Balancing: Slightly reduced drop chance of colors\n* Balancing: Increased Outlaw Drone Carrier drone respawn delay\n* Balancing: Reduced Raid Booster effect\n* Balancing: Increased Flak range and damage, reduced energy consumption\n* Balancing: Increased Vindicator drone damage Expertise scaling\n* Balancing: Increased Vindicator "Phalanx" fire rate bonus\n* UI: Use dedicated HUD marker icons for Ancient Rune and Ancient Rune Socket\n* UI: Tweaked dialog box design\n* UI: Show "new" highlight on freshly unlocked and not yet viewed colors and decals in customization screen\n* UI: Enemies currently debuffed by player receive a special offscreen indicator in HUD\n* UI: Show obstructed interactable and structure HUD markers with dotted outline\n* UI: New icons for several items\n* UI: Show potential resource yields instead of amount of resources mined in the location info tooltip\n* UI: Changed XP bar color and only show XP numbers in menus\n* UI: Ship stats panel was slightly redesigned and optimized\n* UI: Various performance improvements for item rendering\n* UI: New stackable item price info showing dedicated "per Item"-price as well as total stack price\n* UI: Overhauled design of repair and restock buttons in hangar tab\n* UI: Added animated background for launch action button on stations\n* UI: Item selection - "Other ships"-navigation now using L2R2 navigation instead of R3 cycle behavior\n* UI: Changed multi-sell action label from "Sell" to "SellAll" to be more precise\n* UI: Cooldown slot animations are synchronized now\n* UI: Item info widget - optimized scrolling to exclude empty space at scrollbox bottom\n* UI: Reduced opacity for item stack amount when maxed (community suggestion)\n* UI: Overhauled crafting UI/UX to support new crafting-tab and -inventory\n* UI: Re-added expand/collapse cargo view button in ship inventory headline\n* UI: The number of Device Ugrade Points and Mainframe Expansions is now displayed in yellow color if greater than 0\n* UI: Optimized action button caption paddings for non-hold actions\n\n**Bugfixes**\n\n* Fixed bonus attributes changing their value after saving and reloading the gam\n* Fixed Gunship Arsenal perk: Double fire rate for async weapons, double damage for sync weapons\n* Fixed that Vindicator Drones were attacked by neutral Outlaw Group during "The Good, The Bad & The Decent"\n* Fixed being able to destroy Maddocks' ship inside the storage hangar during "The Magic Of Umami"\n* Fixed a potential mission blocker when killing Maddocks right before reaching the end of the chase in Sato during "The Magic Of Umami"\n* Fixed that "Downtime Warrior" perk was not affecting secondary weapon energy on Bomber\n* Fixed freighter in front of Smuggler Base during "The Vortex" not having any collision\n* Fixed being able to use the Flying Dutchess' Beacon near Khala's Vessel during "Picking Up The Pieces" although she was already present\n* Fixed winding up outside of cave during "The Emissary" if loading initial auto-save and immediately creating manual save and then loading that save\n* Fixed NPC HUD marker being transparent after game was paused during jump-in\n* Fixed HUD marker "spotted" animation being stuck when game was paused during animation\n* Fixed wrong waypoint image and wrong player position in system view\n* Fixed shield and armor break effect appearing when collecting energy orbs while no armor or shield is equipped\n* Fixed that destroying the plating given by Dax would stop the mission from progressing\n* Fixed that arriving within interaction range of Spatial Bypasses always lead to the "Can't interact during conversation" message being shown\n* Fixed several slide doors accidentally being open\n* Fixed Outlaw Demolisher shooting mines from very far away\n* Fixed being able to fast-travel to the same location you are currently at\n* Fixed that the prototype and starforged prefixes lost their effect after increasing an item's rarity\n* Fixed that the mission log for "Gathering Dust" side mission was missing\n* Fixed "Repairs 3" perk not working as intended (was supposed to only repair the ship's hull up to 30% if lower when docked)\n* Fixed gravitational behavior of Shadow Creatures on planets when they're detached\n* Fixed that "Gathering Dust" side mission was available at the start of "Old Friends," not after\n* Fixed mouse axis inversions not working when using centered crosshair and operating system mouse position\n* Fixed inverted mouse controls not working when having relative mouse controls enabled\n* Fixed Vindicator drones sometimes not disappearing while docked\n* Fixed being able to track an already completed mission when double-clicking on a mission button\n* Fixed a problem in which it was possible that the "Spares & Scrap" mission did not start\n* Fixed ARC9000 explosion not damaging larger ships at certain impact angles\n* Fixed that mines being displayed because of a sensor bonus attribute were staying in sensor memory and were still shown at a large distance\n* Fixed "Downtime Warrior" perk not stacking correctly\n* Fixed critical hit damage using a wrong value\n* Fixed that item rewards for jobs couldn't be claimed\n* Fixed error in Temporal Nano Recompensator "Resurgence" mode description showing wrong repair increase percentage\n* Fixed Drone Carrier link drones not repairing carrier armor correctly\n* Fixed bug in repair costs calculation\n* Fixed implicit downsizing of (cargo) inventories in some cases. (e.g. storage)\n* Fixed some save and restore problems with certain objects like freight containers\n* Fixed a few issues with Loot screen that gets shown when not all items could be picked up\n* Fixed that "pull all" on pickups was sometimes not possible\n* Fixed that "Redeemers" name was missing in the "kills" stats\n* Fixed player projectiles colliding with player missiles\n* Fixed player Flak projectiles being triggered by player missiles/mines\n* Fixed NPC missiles spawning with a too large offset\n* UI: Fixed loss of focus after clicking quick repair and quick restock buttons\n* UI: Multiple improvements and fixes for screens with non-16:9 aspect ratio\n* UI: Fixed potential bug that repair action was available in item selection even though it isn't available on the station\n* UI: Fixed that shop inventory might not be sorted correctly after mission items were added to an already visited shop inventory\n* UI: Fixed various smaller color & alignment issues in ingame menu\n* UI: Fixed rebuy indicator disappearing after selling items to shop\n* UI: Fixed multiple bugs regarding devices in shop inventory\n* UI: Fixed that side-by-side info would not scroll on gamepad in case current item wasn't scrollable as well\n* UI: Fixed that the damaged equipment indicator wasn't refreshed after repairing\n* UI: Fixed mainframe expansion points animation problems\n* UI: Fixed homebase storage space counter not always being correct\n\nThe following changes are only relevant if you have been playing a preview of this update on the experimental branch:\n\n**Features (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Added one additional light fighter body module\n\n**Tweaks (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Balancing: Slightly reduced drop chance of blueprints\n* (Exp) Replaced superior kinetic damage Catalyst with rare energy damage Catalyst\n* (Exp) Balancing: Reduced Void Swarm repair amount\n* (Exp) Balancing: Tweaked some Catalyst effect values and rarities\n* (Exp) Worked in localization feedback from the community at crowdin.com\n* (Exp) UI: Catalyst slots and action buttons in catalyst selection are now clickable\n* (Exp) UI: Disabled catalyst selection and show info banner in case there are no compatible catalysts available\n* (Exp) UI: Refined catalyst modification description\n* (Exp) UI: Added dedicated item category icon for catalysts\n* (Exp) UI: Items cannot be modified anymore while they are damaged\n* (Exp) UI: Fully implemented reworked device appearance including upgrade animations\n\n**Bugixes (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Fixed that "Okkar Prime" name was missing in the "kills" stats\n* (Exp) Fixed that obsolete items were gone instead of replaced when loading an older savegame\n* (Exp) Fixed Freelancer Cargo Carrier not exploding correctly\n* (Exp) Common Catalysts are now always unlocked\n* (Exp) Swift Catalyst can now also be applied to Disintegrator\n* (Exp) Fixed one Stinger passive being wrongly assigned to the Scout\n* (Exp) Fixed Optimized and Prototype Catalysts not working on modules\n* (Exp) Fixed Void Swarm not resetting device cooldowns\n* (Exp) Fixed that obsolete Catalysts and Affixes were not removed when loading a game\n* (Exp) Fixed that Cruise Drive Duration perk did not unlock under certain conditions\n* (Exp) Fixed bug where Cruise Booster's cruise drive activation time would be overwritten by upgrading the perk\n* (Exp) Fixed Okkar Corvette shooting through its own geometry\n* (Exp) Fixed mining Catalyst bonus attributes not being removed when applying a new Catalyst\n* (Exp) Fixed some dialogue lines repeating during mission "The Emissary"\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the item info in the "Modify" screen could not be scrolled using a controller\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the device description text wasn't clipped properly after scrolling\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed overlapping descriptions in catalyst selection screen\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug that occurred after a companion was unlocked but no perks were shown\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the repair banner of an item tooltip could have elements from the device upgrade banner\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug in which the amount of an item for sale would get bigger after buying\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug in which the item rarity wasn't instantly updated after a modification\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the dialog board entries always showed "text-to-speech placeholder"\n\nWell, this concludes our first major content update of 2022 with two more to come, one in summer, one in fall, before we wrap up production and will only be working on the final polish for the full release, currently scheduled for early 2023. Check out our [2022 roadmap](https://store.steampowered.com/news/app/1128920/view/3123806106494900961) for more details.\n\nSo there\031s still plenty of work ahead of us, but we\031ll keep you in the loop with our weekly gamedev & community streams so that everyone can see for themselves where production is at, on[ Twitch](http://bit.ly/twitchRFG) and[ YouTube](http://bit.ly/RFGYT), every Friday from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm CET / 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm ET / 11:00 am to 1:00 pm PT. =<U+0080>=¥=L\n\nDon\031t stop being awesome, and see you in space!\n\nMichael and your dedicated ROCKFISH Games Team
## 10 Hello Reddit Lurkers,\n\nI wanna share my long journey to achieve my 2nd gold cap during my 13 years playing WoW. My 1st gold cap was achieved during end of WOD, i missed the gold rush in Legion era and only collected almost half due to laziness :(\n\nThis time, I dinged within only 3rd week of 9.2 patch, this came very too early as my goal of gold cap was set by end of the SL expac.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[https://imgur.com/JeqfdVD](https://imgur.com/JeqfdVD)\n\n[https://imgur.com/ESzrKhd](https://imgur.com/ESzrKhd)\n\n[https://imgur.com/iF7F5B9](https://imgur.com/iF7F5B9)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Intro**\n\nI'm 54t4nic/Simalakama, playing on a full pop realm in EU, very casual and small goblin.\n\nThere is always stereotype "you have to camp AH and/or farm 24/7 to become a gold cap". Well look at me, i achieved all of this with only weekly playing time around 15-20 hours and i didn't log in daily.\n\nBeside worked for gold cap, i still did pve on my druid with m+ rating 2,2+ (S2) and obtained every SL AOTCs (working on Sepulcher yet).\n\nYou just need to know how to work/earn gold effectively. Thus, i'll share my noobish knowledge to all of you reddit's goblins. And please with all due respects, correct me if i'm wrong.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Set up**\n\nI dont farm for mats, i'm too lazy + hate to do that. I just farm all my mats from AH. This will surely cut your margins pretty much, but i can get more sales volumes and gold exponentially and also save enormous times (cmiiw). My set ups as follows:\n\n*Capital:* Capital is king if you're playing/farming mats from AH. With more capital you own, more diversification mats you can buy. If you're lack of capital, just do gathering mats & selling it at AH. Therefore , you can have enough budget to buy mats from AH and slowly expand your selling inventories from professions.\n\nI started SL with only less than 500k because of long boi purchase :(\n\nInvested these capitals for leveling professions and bought mats from AH.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Chars:* There is an idiom/jargon in Bahasa Indonesia "more kids, more wealthy" (i'm from Indonesia btw). It applies literally in WoW, more characters you playing, more benefits you can get.\n\nFor example: benefit from mission table rewards more mats/golds/gears(for DE) or benefit from weekly rewards (eg. korthite crystals).\n\nI just have 4x 60 chars, cba leveling another since i do have only limited playing times. And 2x lowbies for AH chars so i have more free bag slots for crafting, shuffling, AH drafting etc etc.....\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*2nd account:* It's not mandatory but makes your life easier, moreover you can baby sit AH during raids downtime or m+ queue. Beside improve our quality of life, 2nd account can also boost production time. Imagine milling, shuffling and prospecting thousands of mats with only 1 account.\n\nIn my case, I cannot log in daily, thats why i wanna do raids, m+ or something else during my login and not only busy goblining stuffs. I created 2nd account since end of of 9.0.5 and focus only for AH matters.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Synergy of proffessions:* Here are my prof set ups. ( disclaimer: its not optimal, i know. But cba to drop and relevel again).\n\nDruid: LW + JC with cooking max\n\nHunter: Enchanting & Inscription\n\nWarlock: Tailoring & BS\n\nPaladin(2nd acc): LW & Inscription. This char is my production char. Can milling, shuffling etc while i'm doing pve on main account. If you only have 1 char, i suggest LW+Tailoring. Why? We have more value commodities eg. crafting items, bags, armor kits, mount equpment etc.\n\nWith 2 chars you can add BS (for extra crafting weapons ilvl 87/100) and Enchanting (DE stuffs + shuffling for enchanted heavy callous hide, enchanted elethium bar and so on).\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Mission tables:* I have pretty decent set up for table. With 3 NFs + 1 kyr, many followers already at 60s. Select rewards only for mats, gold, runes, if still extra followers opt for anima powers.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Long boi:* It's another previlege perk that i feel huge advantage as an owner portable AH. I can pop up whenever i want, buying stuffs, restocking, checking prices etc etc.\n\nIf you don't own a long boi, park your AH chars at booty bay. Shrine can do the magic as well.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*External tools:*\n\nTSM\n\nI'm pretty decent on TSM, just copied the operations from someone on internet. Cancel scan is pretty handy if you want use this feature frequently. Can help track prices if you're new in the market. Bottom line, i do just basic with TSM and it already helps me a LOT.\n\n[rogue-auctions.com](http://rogue-auctions.com/)\n\nThis website more less like The Undermine Journal. The attractive part is, it shows you an item's margin pretty actual. So we know what consumables are in profit at the moment. Thus, i know which items can be pushed for sales volumes.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Selling Commodities**\n\nI'll give some insights, which items are popular within AH. Disclaimer: this varies from your AH realms, but still can be as pointer/sample for testing your AH. There are many items like pets, mounts, old enchants that sellable but i focus only from consumables and crafting gears.\n\nMargin consumables is pretty thin, therefore you need volumes after volumes to profit. Try to hunt mats in low prices to wide your margins.\n\n*Main Courses*\n\n* Crafting gear ilvl 87,100\n\nThis is my main gold stream, started to focus selling since end of 9.0.5. The green items ilvl 87 & 100 are very underrated and hidden treasure.\n\nWhy this green ilvl 87/100? for alts with lvl 50 need to buy these items for pumping the ilvl requirement queue dungeons. People tend to buy as many as possible to fill the slots. By end of patch or xpac still strong due to leveling alts.\n\n* Crafting gear 200 & 230 (pre 9.2), 233 & 262 (9.2)\n\nAnother gold stream along with ilvl 87/100. Catch up gears for people who needs to replace low ilvl, so can pump ilvl as high as possible. These items will decline by end of patch/xpac. So... try to push your sales as many as possible as long as patch still hot.\n\nThe trick to maximize income, try selling all armors: cloth, leather, mail n plate. Sell huge volumes !!! my inventories around 1200-1500 items (mix with ilvl 87&100). If we get at least 10% sales: let's say 120-150 items with avg 500g per piece, this will result 60-75k. The prices of ilvl 233 & 262 are thousands gold at the moment, this will catapult your income highly.\n\nFyi, margins are pretty high. On bad day and also prices are tanked, 50% profit is minimum. Mostly with 100-300%(or more) if prices are hot and this stuffs are selling like a peanuts.\n\n* Crafting legos\n\nThis is my big pusher to reach gold cap. Have only 3 slots: cloak, ring and neck. I capitalized 262 JC sales (mostly rings) during 6 weeks launch 9.2 (4 weeks before, 2 weeks after). JC ring still hot at the moment and my main source for pushing into 20m goal.\n\nI canceled scan moderately, did couple times during my afk from raids/m+.\n\nIf people still want to invest and fight for lego market, it's still profitable for 235, 262 & 291. But it depends what slots and what realms. I do strongly suggest JC ring while price and demand are still high.\n\n* Feast Hedonism\n\nThe king of consumables. Profit pretty strong, sale volumes high as well. Unfortunately, now in 9.2 mats prices are soaring (fishes). So, just check mats prices frequently for buying while cheap to gain big profits.\n\n* Drums\n\nDrums are pretty fast turn over, you'll get more sales but the margins are thin and price fluctuates very often. So very carefull, just sell on profit and buy mats on lower price.\n\n* Heavy desolate armor kit\n\nSame story with drums. High turn over and thin margin (around 50-100g on my realm), therefore just push for volumes as many as possible and watch the price dont sell at loss.\n\n* 30 & 32 Bags\n\nPeople always needs bags, period.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Side dishes*\n\n* Missives\n\nAs long as people craft and buy legos, missives are strong. The only problem is with tanked prices and thin margins. I sell only with price on profit and hold while loss.\n\n* Desolate armor kit\n\nThin margin and slow moving on sales. Just consider this as your side hustle.\n\n* Feast palatable\n\nVery seldom sales compare to feast hedonism, price fluctuates rapidly. It could be good margin depends of someone resets the market. Don't rely too much, stock moderately and unload if AH price is good.\n\n* Flasks / Pots\n\nFluctuates very often due to undercuts from competitors. Monitor the price closely, just dont sale at loss.\n\n* Augment Runes\n\nKing of sleeper on consumables. Prices declining due to flooding of items + permanent augment rune from vendor. But at least it sells quick and we get free from table. I get daily around 50-100 runes from 4 chars. Price is around 150-200g/rune, so i get minimum 7500g/day only from this freebies. Not bad huh..??\n\n* Comfortable barding (mount equipment)\n\nStill sells quite OK, however very slow moving. Consider this as snack for your meal.\n\n* Vantus Runes\n\nPrice is quite OK at the moment SFO, not that high compare to CN or SoD. Competitors are quite strong due to many people can access SFO. It's moving slow currently, maybe due to less people raiding Sepulcherright now, cmiiw.\n\n* Codex/Tome of Still Mind\n\nI just unload at AH around 200 pcs for tome and 50 pcs for codex per batch. Not bad for snacks at this time.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Prediction**\n\nAs long as sepulcher still hots, raid consumables eg vantus, feasts, runes still sell pretty OK. KSM hunters are still on going as well. Try ride the wave as much as possible while strong.\n\n9.2.5 will give a bump a bit because horde & alliance raiding and doing m+ together. Prices will quite declining but demands still quite high at least. Quite slow earning if looking a quick gold cap, but doable for long run until new expac is released.\n\nI believe if you still looking for gold cap or targeting millions, 6-8 months ahead will be still bright eventough not as much as early 9.2 hype. Follow this 8 months with what i did, you'll get gold cap sooner or later (disclaimer: not 100% guarantee, but viable & doable)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**My Next Step**\n\nFrom here on i definitely reinvest for mats, trying to chase a 20m milestone in SL and set another goals in future expacs.\n\nSome of gold will be spent for mounts, lets see what BMAH offers. Maybe i'll go ALL IN for exotic mounts (swift zulian tiger, i summon you =)))\n\nWoW tokens and Blizzard balance for sure, i just did convert some golds for buying bundling kitty mounts and pets from shop.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Problem**\n\nSome of you guys might face problems to break the barrier and climb your gold earning.\n\nI faced this problem for months, cannot break over 2m. If you see the graphic above it lasted almost 1 year. I asked couple guys from this /woweconomy and read the posts how to solve my problem. Until i found the remedy which i needed to focus on sales crafting items especially greens ilvl 87/100 and ilvl 200/230 (pre 9.2). Slowly expand my inventories with more variations of items. Voila....it worked and boosted my earnings towards gold cap \\^\\^Y.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**TLDR**\n\nSorry if you just read wall of text.\n\nJust find the best way what fits to your gold cap style. My approach here is with playing AH due to limited playing time and lazyness of gathering. 2 weeks after my gold cap, now i have liquid gold around 13m. So 7m remaining for my 20m GOAL XD\n\nLego market is very prospective, but also very competitive. People still buy legos, just find your niche (JC ring is mine). It's still doable and profitable with moderate/less cancel scan like i do.\n\nLast, consumables can do the magic if you sell in big volumes due to thin margin. So... Just push as many sells as possible with diversity commodities.\n\nJust test/explore your AH to get a feel what kind of items are profitable. Ride the momentum and be consistent. Good luck my fellow goblins!!\n\n&#x200B;\n\nRegards\n\nSimalakama
## 11 This guy has been on mine and my husband's tail since we moved into our little utah town about 10 months ago. He showed up to our door today and asked for the millionth time if we would let him and his other friends come over. I know he holds some position in his ward but not sure which one. He keeps saying "we won't preach at you". My husband finally caved and agreed for the visit. I'm really irritated at this guy. We let him know the first time we met that we are not interested in religion and lead a more personal "spiritual" life after being born and raised in a mormon spin off cult. I'm mostly whining at this point. Also trying to decide how I'm going to handle our interaction tomorrow. We have received 5 freaking invitations this week between missionaries and mormon neighbors to watch the upcoming general conference. Gahhh!!! I don't wanna be an ass because this guy and his family have been really nice. They've plowed our driveway multiple times during the winter while we were sick with covid. I just don't get how he hasn't taken a hint.\n\n\nEdit: he just came over to cancel and reschedule because conference is tomorrow. Hubby got his number. I think I'm going to call him and decline.\n\nEdit 2: I got his number and sent him a lengthy text. Told him I want to cancel any made plans and decline any further invitation/discussion that involves LDS gospel and activities and that I am not comfortable with him inviting himself and a group of strangers to my home. And that we have plenty of family who are in the church should we wish to inquire about anything in it. Said thanks for the acts of service this last year and hope to remain friendly neighbors from here on out. He text back saying "that's fine". I don't think he will be bothering us anymore.
## 12 Why I Hate My Mom \n\nShe\031s a control freak - she wants to control everyone \n\nIf you don\031t agree with her, she will relentlessly argue with you until you agree \n\nShe bullied everyone in our family - my dad, my brother and me \n\nMy brother developed an inferiority complex about his dark skin and even if he was Chinese because my mom made a joke that my father found him in the garbage and adopted him. \n\nShe called him a Mexican \n\nThat\031s where I learned to make fun of him as a Mexican - from HER \n\nSHE\031S THE REASON WHY OUR FAMILY IS FUCKED UP \n\nWhenever she\031s not around, the household is very calm \n\nAs soon as she enters the picture, it was like walking on eggshells. \n\nAT ANY MOMENT, she could blow off at the slightest thing and start an entire argument for the entire night \n\nShe thinks she has \034good intentions\035 but in fact it\031s just HER intentions \n\nShe wants to be praised for being a selfless parent but in fact she is just a very narcissistic person who thinks very highly of herself \n\nHer own relationship with her mother was troubled - her mother was never around and always gambling and her father was an alcohol and gambler as well. \n\nHer oldest sister was essentially the mother of the family \n\nWhen her mother died, she wasn\031t there. I think I will do the same. \n\nWhen my dad dies, I\031ll be there for him. He never said one mean thing or hit me. NEVER. He was always happy and calm. Only she fucked it up. \n\nShe got my dad arrested once - now that I think about it, she should have been the one arrested \n\nHer emotional abuse was off the charts. She belittled me so much and said things like \n\n\034A dog is better than you\035 \n\n\034If you don\031t die, you\031re worthless\035 \n\n\034I regret giving birth to you\035 \n\n\034You\031re an idiot. Why are you so dumb?\035 \n\nAmong countless other insults \n\nOnly now I realize how that has damaged my self esteem and confidence up until adulthood. \n\nShe thinks she can control me. \n\nWhen I first grew out my hair and came back to NYC to see my family, she literally screamed at me and called me a homeless bum. \n\nShe guilted me into getting a haircut just so she would stop yelling at me \n\nWhen I grew my hair out again, she said \034it\031s not that I WON\031T LET YOU GROW your hair out\035 as if she controlled my hair and my body \n\nShe would always make comments about how fat I was or say that my dad was better looking than me. \n\nShe would always tell me that I needed to change - that I wasn\031t good enough. \n\nShe always said don\031t be like your dad - he\031s an idiot. Change change change \n\nI asked a professor in human development once about that and she said that was an awful thing to say to a child \n\nIn high school psychology class, my teacher was talking about how physical abuse was wrong and I retorted \034what do you mean? It\031s totally necessary.\035 \n\nI had normalized physical and emotional abuse from an early age \n\nThat\031s why I never had any relationships with girls and why I had so much insecurities. \n\nI never had a girlfriend in middle school or high school because my mom wouldn\031t allow it. She claimed I would slack off on school. \n\nAs a result, I had NO confidence with girls. I never had a girlfriend in middle school, high school or college. \n\nI went to prom alone. \n\nThe irony was that I had a lot of girls interested in me - I even had many guys in high school jealous of me. \n\nI remember I asked one guy in gym class why he was working out so hard and he replied \034well not all of us can look like YOU\035 and I didn\031t understand what he meant at the time or why he would ever want to look like me. \n\nI remember another guy who was clearly jealous that I was talking to another girl named Tracy. I remember being in the high school staircase with her ALONE and I didn\031t realize she was interested in me. \n\nI was just too scared to do anything about it. \n\nTo this day, \n\n1. I still haven\031t had a girl give me a present for my birthday or celebrate a birthday with me. \n2. I never received a Valentine\031s Day gift or celebrated with a girl \n3. I never celebrated Christmas with a girl. \n4. I\031ve never gone on a road trip with a girl \n5. I\031ve never met a girl\031s family before \n6. I\031ve never had a relationship for more than 3 months \n7. Anytime I\031ve tried to start a relationship with a girl, I would be ghosted because I was so desperate for love that they could sense my neediness \n8. I haven\031t had a relationship in 8 years. The only thing I could get was one night stands, which was NOT what I wanted. I thought if a girl slept with me, that would mean I could finally win her love. \n9. I let so many women abuse and use me. I once met a literal super model from Ukraine at a bar and actually went on a date with her. We actually had a very good time. However I realized she was going through a divorce and was exactly like my mom - extremely controlling and abusive as well as an alcoholic. I spent THREE DAYS in a row at her place without going home just helping her - cleaning her apartment, buying groceries, cooking for her, spending time with her, helping her get her car. I even drove with her to IKEA and helped her buy a mattress because her ex husband took her bed. I helped her bring it back and install it and everything. \n10. She treated me like shit and I left the first time she mistreated me. Then the next day I apologized to HER and brought her a six pack of beer. Then the final night, after EVERYTHING I did for her and right after I helped her get her mattress from IKEA, she wouldn\031t even let me park my car in her EMPTY parking spot. I just wanted to avoid getting a parking ticket. \n11. I finally left after that. \n12. Even after that I tried to get back in touch with her. I texted her all these things that I thought she would benefit from. \n13. I recently offered to let her stay at my place so that she wouldn\031t have to have a long commute from LA to San Diego for a job. I especially felt bad for her because of the war in Ukraine. She still wasted my time and rejected me after everything I tried to do for her.\n\nMy mentor told me, through Chinese astrology, that the only thing I ever wanted in life was LOVE because I never had it in my life. \n\nHe told me I basically had Stockholm\031s syndrome and empathized with my captor. It all makes sense now \n\nHe said I had no self respect for myself, hence why I had no respect for him. I now realized I\031ve hated myself for my whole life because my mom made me hate myself from day 1. \n\nI looked for love in all the wrong places - in bars and clubs. \n\nI kept going out every weekend hoping that I could find the love of my life so that I could finally stop going to bars \n\nI don\031t even like drinking. I remember recently I talked to a girl at a bar and she said she was interested in me and wanted to play pool with me. \n\nI was in the middle of a game and thought she would be there for the next game. I looked everywhere for her - I realize I was like a lost puppy \n\nI finally saw her outside with another guy and I was crushed. \n\nI just wanted to find someone who was willing to spend time with me. \n\nTo go with me on a date to try out a restaurant \n\nTo go to the beach together \n\nTo watch a TV show or movie together and fall asleep on the couch \n\nIt makes sense now why I loved romance comedies and love songs so much - it was my FANTASY to be loved. \n\nI realized i was so unhappy these last 8 years because I thought I had the AUDACITY to believe that someone could love me. I thought true love was a fantasy that my younger naive self foolishly believed in. \n\nI\031m pretty smart and talented - I\031m not trying to brag but I consider myself a Renaissance man. \n\nI taught myself just about everything from an early age. My parents are immigrants and can barely speak English. \n\nI looked up an old recommendation letter that a professor in my freshman year wrote that helped me get into an Ivy League school. \n\nHe said I was already at a PhD level in history and humanities as a FRESHMAN in college. He wrote that I could already compete with his graduate students. That\031s how smart I am. \n\nNot only that but I can do many things - draw, photography, sing, play guitar, finance, sales, marketing, real estate, technology, learn foreign languages, etc etc \n\nAnd yet my mom always said I was a moron. \n\nMy mom is just a psycho path and I realized I\031ve been gaslighted my entire life to her viewpoint and her narrative \n\nIronically she always claimed to be the victim in every story.\n\nShe would blame everyone else - my dad, his family, co-workers etc\n\nShe always tried to convince me to change my dad - \034tell him to Change, tell him to change\035 \n\nI always told her\n\n1. \034everyone has something intrinsic to their nature that can\031t be changed. You have to accept that.\035 \n2. \034If you think it\031s so easy to change, why not change yourself first? If you want others to change, how about you change first and show how it\031s done?\035 \n\nAnd she would always push back and claim she has changed by basically venting internally instead of in person \n\nI\031ve been on a spiritual journey in the past 2 years and I\031ve bought many stones. I was never into this stuff and thought it was bullshit.\n\nThe first stone I ever bought was Kyanite, which helps with healing past trauma and getting over a victim mentality as well opening up the throat chakra to speak your truth.\n\nThe thing is I had NO IDEA it had this meaning - i just bought it because I thought it was pretty. After I looked up the meaning I was blown away. I\031ve just started to remember all these traumatic childhood memories I repressed for so long. Now I understand why I was on such a self destructive behavior. \n\nHere\031s a copy and paste \n\n\034For those who have lost their way in life, or are trying to break a cycle of self-destructive behavior, use Kyanite in an empowerment grid to get back on track. Lay out rows of small Kyanite blades radiating from a central Kyanite in six different directions. Use each night to walk a different path in the mind, letting images and ideas take form spontaneously. Continue until you no longer need the grid. [Eason, 225]\nTo access forgotten childhood memories or to recall a word or name that eludes you, touch the center of your brow with Kyanite.\035\n\n\034Kyanite\031s frequency encourages the examination of all aspects of oneself, the various interests, skills and knowledge that creates the uniqueness of one\031s identity, and how it can be used for one\031s Soul path on Earth and in finding a life-fulfilling vocation. It encourages listening to intuitive guidance and living with integrity of purpose. [Ahsian, 224][Gienger, 34][Hall II, 171]\nKyanite helps overcome a victim or fatalistic mentality, and the resignation of oneself to the recurring emotional patterns that create blockages in the energetic field. Kyanite can bridge the connection to those patterns and quickly create new energy flow and a shift in one\031s perception to the world. It assists one in remaining functional in extreme situations, promotes a more logical way of thinking, and encourages resolute action. [Ahsian, 225][Gienger, 34]\035\n\nLast year my dad visited me for the first time ever (we also haven\031t spoken in many years but it\031s due to his nature, not because he didn\031t care) \n\nAfter spending 3 months with him, it was such a calming and relaxing time. It was so easy to live with him. I realized my mom was DEFINITELY the problem. \n\nI honestly don\031t know if I can ever forgive her. \n\nI just told myself in my head, \034when my dad dies or is dying, I\031ll be by his deathbed\035 \n\n\034When my mom is dying, I won\031t be there for her.\035 \n\nBecause that\031s exactly what she did to my maternal grandmother. \n\nMy cousin told me that my maternal grandmother\031s last words were that she regretted gambling so much and ignored her family. \n\nI recently wrote a girl an 8 page love letter because we actually hit off very well and I could tell she was interested in me. But as soon as I didn\031t hear from her in a few days, I grew anxious, even though I just sent her a nice present for her birthday. \n\nMy mind started racing, thinking I wasn\031t good enough or that I needed to do more to win her love. \n\nObviously I ended up freaking her out and she has stopped talking to me as a result. This is what I\031ve been used to my entire love life, or what little of it can be called that. \n\nI\031m in the process of healing now and I realized I have to love myself first. \n\nI could do so much and learn almost anything but I could never imagine that someone could ever love me, that I could ever love myself and that anyone could ever care about me. \n\nI have thought to myself many times, \034if I were to die, would anyone really even mourn my passing? Or would they just move on the next day as if nothing had happened.\035 \n\nEmotional abuse and physical from women does happen and it\031s not talked about enough. No one holds these women accountable for their crimes. \n\nAs a result I\031ve been emotionally stunted and de-masculinized for my whole life. It\031s only recently I\031ve found my voice and discovered who I TRULY AM. \n\nFor ex red pill, I need to write this in particular \n\nI never had a male role model in my life - my dad didn\031t know anything about women either. He didn\031t have a normal childhood - he escaped from Communist China by swimming 6-8 hours in the ocean to Hong Kong when he was 16 or 17. There was no way he could teach me anything about living a normal high school life in America \n\n\nGoing back to the self taught thing, because I didn\031t have a male role model or ANYONE to talk or ask about relationships (since it obviously wasn\031t covered in school), I always wanted to look for a \034manual on love.\035 \n\n\034If I could just have a book, I could study the shit out of it and teach myself how to get a girl to love me.\035 \n\nThat\031s when I started reading \034the game\035 and learning about Mystery and PUA etc\n\nI also got into this book called 3% man by Corey Wayne \n\nI kept trying this stuff over and over and over again, like the three day rule where you can\031t contact a girl for three days or she\031ll think you\031re desperate and never talk to you. \n\nBefore that I would literally always text a girl I met at a bar the next day or even the NIGHT of because I was SO excited to get a number \n\nI\031ve literally gotten so many numbers in my phone of girls that I have no idea who they are. So naturally I thought this 3 day rule made a lot of sense \n\nIt\031s only been recently after I talked to some girl friends of mine that I learned this was stupid as fuck. \n\nBeing friends with girls has actually taught me a lot. \n\nIf there\031s anything I would recommend to heal, try making and being friends with girls.
## 13 Mike\031s last minute audit of his financial contributions didn\031t inspire Ximena to resubscribe to Mike, so he\031s packing his shit and going to the hotel as directed. He asks if he can come by the next day to see if Ximena\031s mom has fallen any further into the Mama Asuelu moat of GIVE ME MONEY, and maybe by then someone will feel sorry for him. \n\n\034I have a disease,\035 Mike apps. \034It\031s called I\031m a werewolf. Once you calm down and think about it rationally, you\031ll understand why every full moon you\031re a gold-digger.\035\n\nXimena options are: a.) Say no, and listen to a remix of the same tantrum, possibly paired with a fresh refusal to leave, and escalating violence, or b.) Ask him to call her tomorrow. She goes with option B, as most people would who have experienced this kind of shit before. \n\nMike calls the next day and Ximena tells him he can\031t come by, because Amazon has finally delivered the razor wire she ordered for home security, and the neighbors are waiting with torches and sharpened garden tools. Mike nearly collapses in a swoon over this injustice, and says goodbye to everyone over the phone, while insisting he deserves more than farewell-at-a-distance from his purchased family.\n\n Mike insists that if they reunite it\031ll be on the back of Ximena\031s groveling, so the next scene is Mike messaging her in the middle of her 90DF interview. Ximena\031s interest renews with whatever he texts, so she calls him. Mike seizes opportunity, and insists they shouldn\031t break up over \034one big fight,\035 and promises they will have a house in the US, and a house in Colombia, and they can imagine who lives inside from the safety of grandpa\031s attic. \n\nXimena knows this is the drumroll to him reminding her that she\031s financially dependent on him, and anything he offers will be added to the gold digger file by the next full moon. Mike insists that won\031t be the case, and he was just angry and said some things he\031ll say again the next time he\031s angry. Production asks Ximena if she\031s actually considering this shit, and she says she doesn\031t know, while her mom makes weepy eyes while clutching a microwave. \n\nGino is trying to make it to the airport without stepping on another one of Jasmine\031s mood mines, which explains his affinity for track shorts.\n\n\034The stakes are pretty high, because if I step wrong, I\031m losing a leg,\035 Gino explains. \n\nJasmine sobs over what happened to Mahogany\031s hair, and Gino tries to pack faster than Jasmine can unpack. Jasmine marvels over his nut-hugger underwear, and Gino says he only planned to wear them 10,000 years ago, when this season first began and they were somehow talking about babies. Eventually he reaches the airport, and Jasmine is a mess, but imagines she\031ll somehow survive the horrors of seperation. \n\n\034I am like what would happen if Gone with the Wind, a telenovella, and the DSM-V rolled around at an orgy, and everyone got pregnant,\035 Jasmine sobs. \034I am what Elijah always dreamed of for himself.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t bring up the prenup,\035 Gino swallows a fart, and returns to his regularly scheduled yoinks. \034It\031s hard. You can only reschedule your flight three times, and I\031m on a budget.\035\n\n\034Right now I feel so detached from reality,\035 Jasmine is a one-woman quote machine. \034I can\031t get into Gino\031s suitcase. But I will not curse science for ruining so many lives, because it has also given us so much.\035\n\n\034I don\031t even know if she\031s acting,\035 camera #1 isn\031t sure which award to nominate her for. \034But she\031s the most interesting person I\031ve gotten to film&ever. And it was all at resorts with no one else around. Can we come back?\035\n\nMemphis and Hamza are ready to advertise successful completion of this trip\031s to-do list with matching t-shirts. Her tshirt warns that \034wife\035 isn\031t crossed off yet, so outsiders should approach this as something akin to an active shooter situation. Hamza is a mess over her looming departure, because he still has feelings, and Hayet starts crying to show us who he got them from. \n\nThey head to the airport, and the whole route Hamza is worried, sad, and anxious to arrive in the US before his child is born.\n\n\034You with me is happiness,\035 Memphis says. \n\n\034Please, do not ask your mother\031s advice on this relationship,\035 Hamza knows this is his only hope. \n\nMahogany is on the run, and Ben chases her to the getaway car. M\031Hog makes a desperate bid to banish him and accidentally spits, *God bless you!* instead of *the power of Christ compels you*, which throws a wrench in her escape. \n\n\034I\031M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY HEART!\035 Ben auditions for an 80s teen movie written by a sixty year-old pervert. \034DON\031T PLAY DEAD! IT ISN\031T FUN THAT WAY! RUN! RUN LIKE A GAZELLE! I SAID RUN!\035\n\n\034Put the camera down and HELP ME!\035 M\031Hog forgets she doesn\031t speak English, but the crew remembers they don\031t believe in souls. \n\n\034STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND READ MY PAMPHLET!\035 Ben dead-birds the glass. \034WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU, MEOWGANY? I DIDN\031T GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO LEARN YOUR NAME TO ONLY GET TO SAY IT ONE TIME!\035\n\n\034I don\031t have to read your pamphlet! I can choose to read something else!\035 M\031Hog tries to powerlock the doors. \n\n\034I\031m not going to get in,\035 Ben has been reprimanded for following a woman into a car before. \034But I want to assure you that it\031s not my fault you\031re afraid. You\031re being paranoid, when I\031m just trying to trap you for a little mandatory alone time.\035\n\n\034It is your fault I\031m afraid!\035 Mahogany looks to the producers for a weapon. \034What the FUCK, even the Hunger Games gives you tools!\035\n\n\034I think you\031re neglecting what\031s already available to you,\035 Reddit\031s active prepper community knows it\031s their time to shine. \034First, are those baton shoes, or is there a dagger hidden in the heel? Just a blunt force instrument? That\031s fine. Jam it into his eye or the base of his skull. While he\031s screaming (if you go for the eye), punch him in the balls, and then what do you still have? That\031s right. A second shoe.\035\n\nM\031Hog\031s strategy is to tell the driver to take off while Ben is still in pursuit.\n\n\034Don\031t do this. I will simply roll, get up, and start running after the car. You\031ve seen Terminator 2. You know what I\031m talking about,\035 Ben bens. \n\nM\031Hog opts to risk it, and the driver floors it. \n\n\034I DIDN\031T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS FRAGILE!\035 Ben is a human yikes.\n\n\034At the Tell-All I imagine people will have some questions about why I didn\031t grab her by the arms and shake her around like a ragdoll,\035 no one is wondering that, Ben, but thanks for triggering everyone with PTSD. \034Can I use Shaun\031s MUA, or do I have to bring my own?\035\n\nFourteen minutes ago Usman left Kim at the airport, which is enough time for him to get cracking on wifey #2, and Zara has been ID\031d as an ideal candidate. Since his swarm of frothing female fans are allegedly responsible for tearing their relationship asunder, he beats them back with a machete just before placing the call.\n\n\034Hello. Wearing this SojaBoy necklace from Kim is how I will ascend to villain status, which is my only chance for a third season,\035 Usman is himself.\n\n\034You know I don\031t do fake love,\035 says the totes authentic Zara, here to aw shucks on the right coy. \034I was sad when we broke up. We used to talk every day while Kim complained you were always on the phone. We\031d laugh, we did everything.\035 \n\n\034That\031s everything?\035 Usman yammys. \n\n\034Did you text?\035 Ben thinks it\031s never too soon for advice.\n\n\034You know we had to be apart long enough for me to get a laptop,\035 Usman is ever-smooth. They remain torn about getting back together, while Kim exists in a relationship somewhere, all by herself. \n\nAND NOW, it\031s time for Tell-All Part 1!\n\nShaun: Hey everyone! My name\031s Shaun, and I am a clone of the previous Shaun, and this is a dress we share. Who knows the punchline to THIS joke: How many racists does it take to constitute a hostile work environment?\n\nGino: (Chews face)\n\nShaun: Gino, hi. I was a big Bell-Biv-DeVoe fan, too. \n\nGino: Now you know. \n\nMike: Yo \024\n\nShaun: Mike, can you hear me?\n\nMike: Yes I \024 \n\nShaun: That means you\031re too close. Keep moving your chair back. Further&keep going&keep going further&\n\nMike: I\031m in the road!\n\nShaun: But you can still hear me, Mike! HAMZA!\n\nHamza: Hello, I am in America, and this season I am the best looking. \n\nShaun: That\031s true, so I\031m going to need you to have a seat next to Memphis\031 breasts. This will be my safe space. \n\nHamza: Mine also. \n\nJasmine: Baby, take off the hat so you can be in the good looking competition. \n\nMike: You\031ve got to take it off, buddy.\n\nGino: I\031m a fuck monster, I can cover my body in starfish and fling myself into the sea. The defense rests.\n\nMike: What\031s a fuck monster?\n\nJasmine: This is not for you to know. \n\nShaun: Hang on, let\031s go back to bullying people out of anxiety. Gino, the hat, amirite? This feels weird. I\031m better at wincing like everyone around me is a cunt-punch.\n\nGino: We\031ve established I\031m strange and impulsive, and once again you threaten my head woobie. \n\nJasmine: That is because I am the one who is volatile, and you are the one who is creepy. This is sexy to me. \n\nBen: I would not describe myself as creepy or threatening. Now, allow me to detail how to masculine.\n\nShaun: Did you say mescaline, because that makes sense.\n\nMahogany: It\031s not safe to give him attention. He is patriarrrrrrrrchy as a person.\n\nShaun: Ben, am I safe? Are the others safe? \n\nBen: I don\031t understand. What\031s an others? \n\nShaun: Like, other people. Who exist. Even if you can\031t see them. \n\nBen: I don\031t see why they would exist if I can\031t see them.\n\nProduction: Ben we\031re gonna need you to see other people. Preferably not as your subjects.\n\nBen: Is this about the homeless orphans that shared a poison cup with me after I selflessly put out the diaper fire at their transient camp, and humbly offered my own teat for them to sup from? I had no plans to join the Fun Punch Bunch, but I take full responsibility for being selfless. \n\nJasmine: No, it is about the part where you are a pervert. \n\nShaun: Lisa, hi. I can\031t imagine what you\031ve been through. Let me know if you need the name of a good exorcist. I see one after every Tell-All.\n\nLisa: Will this exorcism in any way interfere with his divine quest for an unsullied, youthful queen to sire his do-over family? Either way, please give me the name. \n\nShaun: Hang on, does anyone have children on set?!\n\nKim: Jamal is here. \n\nShaun: Can we give him special glasses so he can\031t see Ben?\n\nProduction assistant: What, with like, a douchebag filter? You know our budget is $16 and a twelve pack.\n\nShaun: Did I ask you to be poor? AND WE\031RE BACK. Ben, just like, whatever. Don\031t make me talk to Mike.\n\nBen: Kim pursued Usman kind of aggressively. That\031s a bro thing, bro.\n\nKim: What?\n\nBen: I used this in a sermon when I was a youth pastor. Men are basically predators. \n\nKim: Did he say \030men\031 or \030Ben\031, because only one of those works. \n\nBen: Men are like lions, and women are like gazelles. You don\031t want them to just lay down. That isn\031t fun. You want to play with your food.\n\nJasmine: I watch a nature special once where killer whales do this with a seal, and it was very upsetting.\n\nShaun: Ben, are you saying that you\031re trying to have sex with what you eat? There are so many drunk songs mocking the Scottish for this. \n\nLisa: Female lions hunt. It does not surprise me that Ben doesn\031t know this. He probably got lost somewhere around the mane. \n\nBen: Would I ask dinner if it wanted to be eaten? Now, let me start over with today\031s lecture, *Predator: Hunting a Woman Until She Forgets She\031s Meat.*\n\nJasmine: You must be very hungry, because you always seem to be dining alone.\n\nShaun: Jasmine, get me out of here. How many wigs do you have on?\n\nJasmine: All of them, Shaun. Do you think I leave any for the baldheaded exes of Gino?\n\nGino: Is this about to be about my hat again, because I\031m gonna need a trigger warning and an apology.\n\nJasmine: Give me the meat! I want the meat! It is so good I love it, I love your meat! The lioness will hunt, bitches!\n\nShaun: Can you keep this up for like, ten minutes? Microdosing was a mistake that can only be rectified with macro action. Have you ever used RSO as eyeliner? Shit\031s about to get weird. \n\nMike: Just have sex. \n\nShaun: See?\n\nGino: Generally, I prefer to have sex when I consent to it enthusiastically. \n\nShaun: Let\031s travel back in time to sex as a joyless duty&here comes the wavy lines and the mist&\n\nKim: I call it going after what you want. \n\nShaun: YOU\031RE STILL TOO CLOSE, MIKE!\n\nMike: I\031m using a walkie-talkie!\n\nShaun: (Give me that.) Keep going until you hear sirens! Over!\n\nMike: I\031m going to get a ticket for having a lawn chair on the freeway. Over. \n\nShaun: Zabbidy zabbidy zob! Over!\n\nJasmine: What the fuck, Shaun?\n\nShaun: I just need him to believe I\031m losing the signal. Stop it, Ben.\n\nBen: But I was just getting to the climax.\n\nKim: Is that why the temperature dropped?\n\nMemphis: Are we still talking about sex? Cause me need pee pee in my wee wee so Memphis go boom boom. \n\nElla: I know you guys want to get back to my cheating, so OKAY, I guess I\031ll fess up! I\031m not trying to BRAG, but if I reference a male friend, you should assume it\031s a dick-in-waiting. \n\nShaun: I\031m glad you\031re not trying to brag, because I\031ve been to Idaho, and I think all of you are related. Gino, have you ever sent an email?\n\nGino: Like, to someone else? \n\nShaun: Yes. To another person. \n\nGino: What, like, on the internet? \n\nShaun: That\031s right. \n\nGino: I mean, obviously. It\031s much easier to send nudes as attachments. I think. \n\nShaun: Did you ever message a member of the cast?\n\nGino: My member, or like, to say hi?\n\nJasmine: What are you asking, Shaun. Stop flirting with Gino. \n\nShaun: Look, Jessica said she messaged every cast member in a desperate bid for more airtime. Which one of you fuckers responded?\n\n Mike: I can\031t believe Nelcy didn\031t think of that. \n\nShaun: I can\031t believe she\031s going to be on stage later, since there\031s nothing she could possibly contribute. Here\031s Gino asking Jessica if she\031s Sicillian with a cowboy emoji. Really? This is the smoking gun guys?\n\nGino: That was the only emoji with a hat. \n\nJasmine: Jessica also send six messages to me. Enough about that bitch. We were talking about sex as duty? One morning I tell Gino that I will go to the gym first, and when I got back, he already play with his pee pee. \n\nShaun: Is it normal to go to the gym before sex?\n\nJasmine: On this latest trip, we only have sex one time. \n\nShaun: Is it because you were at the gym? Someone call the sex police. \n\nSex police: Ma\031am, we\031ve been supervising this entire season.\n\nJasmine: Masturbation is cheating!\n\nSex police: Alright, we\031re taking you in. We can\031t have anyone standing in the way of safety. Do you know the sort of madness masturbation restriction inspires?\n\nProud Boys: Let\031s put it this way, a bunch of us are in jail.\n\nGino: Okay, my pants-boner spit up. It happens when you have a stripper grinding on your face, RIGHT JASMINE? REMEMBER?\n\nShaun: I\031m sorry, I\031m confused, am I feigning outrage over the amount of times Gino and Jasmine had sex, or the masturbation thing? What year did we travel back to?\n\nJasmine: Women don\031t need to wank and I\031m TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR MEAT GIVE ME YOUR MEAT. \n\nShaun: Gino, what\031s a sugar baby? \n\nGino: Kim and Usman. \n\nShaun: No, to you. \n\nGino: Mike and Ximena.\n\nShaun: I find it surprising that you would pay for sex!\n\nGino: Really?\n\nShaun: But you pay for it?\n\nGino: Shaun this is called entrapment.\n\nShaun: Jamal can you come out here while we humiliate your mom?\n\nJamal: Okay. Yes, this is a strange relationship.\n\nShaun: What\031s strange about it?\n\nJamal: Really Shaun?\n\nShaun: (whispers) Is he your new dad? \n\nJamal: Shaun, as an adult child of 90DF, let\031s not pretend that Usman has any interest in me. This will shock none of the other adult children of 90DF, but this happens to my mom a lot, and she stopped asking me to call them dad three relationships ago. Usman? He\031s looking for a personal assistant and sponsor. Where is the love?\n\nUsman: Hang on, I haven\031t used that song lyric yet. How\031s this: Zara my baby yah yah, where is the love now girl, in dey love dey love dey yah yah. \n\nShaun: Keep singing, I can almost see your fans!\n\nMike: That\031s just me waving from the freeway. \n\nJamal: And I mean, who calls someone they\031re seeing a \034potential\035? That\031s disrespectful. Maybe isn\031t a title, it\031s a meh. \n\nShaun: He called Zara.\n\nKim: He did not.\n\nShaun: Let\031s take a look at this totally not rehearsed phone call that defintiely wasn\031t arranged from the very start, for fuck\031s sake.\n\nKim: I didn\031t know. I still don\031t know. Let me dab at my eyes while I find a way to blame Zara. \n\nUsman: You can also blame all women, and yourself for not trusting me! \n\nNicole: A beauty supply store is a great idea. \n\nJamal: Wow. Now you\031ve invoked the woman who takes photos of vegetables to show how much she\031s changed. \n\nMike: Actually, I accidentally invoked Nicole. \n\nNicole: It was the approval pictures. \n\nKim: I\031m upset. I need a minute. \n\nUsman: Kimberly, hold on. You\031re overreacting and you already agreed to this. Kimberly! You agree to be submissive! Kimbahlee! KimBAHHHHHHlee! This is supposed to hypnotise you! KimBAHHHHHlee! (Claps.)\n\nJamal: Wow. Why are you clapping at her like that?\n\nUsman: I am a musician you see!\n\nKim: You don\031t respect me.\n\nUsman: I don\031t have to!\n\nShaun: Jamal, can you stay? It\031s getting weird.\n\nBen: Does that work? Clap Clap Clap! M\031Hog? Can you crawl out of the screen? CLAP CLAP CLAP! I COMMAND you! CLAP CLAP CLAP!\n\nJamal: He\031s actually saying the word clap. \n\nBen: I\031ve got bronzer on my hands, and I didn\031t want to chance it. Did it work? Meowgany? M\031Hog? Hello? Okay, who turned off my microphone&\n\nNEXT WEEK: Jamal comforts Kim over her past and future mistakes, Jasmine tells Jessica that she\031s faker than Mahogany\031s filters, no one seems to call Mike out on anything, Ella cries in manufactured drama, Memphis and Hamza exist, Ben\031s advice column has a few critics, and Shaun says fuck it and just sprinkles outrage at randoms. \n\nThank you, Patreon supporters!
## 14 Salam Alaikum and Ramadan mubarak everyone! \nLoooong post ahead so I will cut right into it!\n\nI ( 21, F, Turkish but born and raised in germany + this is all happening in germany) was at the subway a few days ago when a muslim woman sat next to me and started talking to me. She was quite nice and her vibe etc was fine as well. She seemed very genuine. We talked a little ( there was a language barrier!! plus noisy subway plus masks ... it was honestly... not ideal and I will use a little star to remind you guys of the not ideal circumstances ***) and she asked me about my age and whether or not I was married? ( *** she also asked something like : "but... no boyfriend, right??")\nShe then told me a little about her son and she also told me that he wants to get married and then *** she told me that he looks for a niqabi??? I really don't t know. \nOn that day I was wearing a jilbab, which I think motivated her to ask me in the first place but I was very obviously not wearing a niqab so I might have misunderstood? And if I didn't its just ???\nmoving ON\nAt first I was like "Im not really looking to get married bc student yada yada" And she was like nooo just talk to him, meet up with him and a mahram and the rest Allahu alam .. So I told her I would think about it and that I would have to talk to my parents first.\nThis was a 3-5 minute conversation bc I had to leave\nIn conclusion I know his name, I kind of know what he is working as ( ***She told me two different things, but confusing them isn't really uncommon especially as someone who does not speak the german language all too well) and I know his ethnicity. She also told me that is is religious.\n1. question: what do you guys think about being asked like this? \nI have many concerns..\n\nI prayed istikhara (whether or not I should meet with him) when I got home and I decided that I wouldn't contact her until I got some kind of 'sign'. During the prayer and after it, I felt no overwhelming feeling of any kind, everything was just very calm and balanced ? in a way? I didn't know how to interpret feeling 'nothing' so I decided to wait a little more. \n2. question: how do you interpret this? I have prayed istikhara once before regarding meeting with a potential for a first talk and immediately when I started praying I felt extremely bad so feeling calm like this could have been a good sign?\n\nThe following day I told my grandma ( who I thought was a little racist???) but to my surprise she was extremely accepting and encouraging when I told her that the guy isn't+doesn't speak turkish. This was a good sign!\nMy mom however was not a fan at all (which is something we argue about all the time bc its haram). But still I do care about her opinion so that was a bad sign???\n\nI asked a friend of mine whose opinion I value a lot and she was quite supportive as well.\n\n I had told my dad about it before I prayed istikhara and he was pretty neutral about it. \n\nNow to my concerns:\nWhy is his mother asking a stranger on the subway ? If he was a 'catch' he surely woud've found someone no? But at the same time, its hard finding someone nowadays? \nHer comments about boyfriend and niqab kind of worry me too.... but Im not even sure if she said them ??? \n\nAlso I don't even know if Im ready to get married right now ? Is it alright to meet up or talk/text? how do I even start talking this would be the first time ever?\n\nAlso I am struggling A LOT with self esteem/ worth/ confidence so I don't know how to even meet up with anyone in the first place ??? Should I avoid meeting anyone until I get better???\n\nI have a billion more concerns :,) but I feel like this is enough for now lol.\n\nThank you guys\n\n+ Someone asked for an update so:\n\n1. I have decided against it.\n2. I will be going to therapy lol\n3. Thank you guys for explaining istikhara, I believe that I haven't worded it too well in the post but it doesn't matter anyway! JazakAllah!!
## 15 \n10 years ago, I lost Josiah, the love of my life. Cancer. One hell of a disease, huh? He fought hard. Never gave up until the last moment. I was with him when he died, holding his hands as he took his final breath. Doctors came in then, rushed him away. Tried in vain to bring him back. No use, the disease had ravaged his body too much for too long.\n\nHe passed quietly and in peace. \034I\031m tired& just let me rest&\035 he had said. His \034official'' final moments. . At least, that\031s what I told everyone. The benefit of being alone in a room with a dying man is that once they pass, whatever you say happened might as well be the truth, you\031re the only reliable source after all.\n\nHis true last moments were something I figured would be best if only I knew. It would serve his family well to not hear the truth. But right now, I don\031t think it matters too much.\n\nOn his deathbed, he looked at me, and smiled. I think he knew it was time. But that smile quickly faded, and was replaced by an expression of fear which I have never seen before. Something primal. A face that conveyed complete understanding, yet terrifying confusion. In that moment, he spoke his last.\n\n\034It hates& It hates&\035\n\nAnd then he died. \n\nAfter his death, I tried to move on. Forget about the past. Remember Josiah for who he was, for the great times we had, the laughter, the joy.\n\nBut I couldn\031t forget that face. Forget those words. He saw something then, I think. Maybe a glimpse of something that comes after. A brief look at what awaited him on the other side, and it terrified him.\n\nFrom that moment on I disguised my feelings. To my friends and family, I was coping well. I had moved on, come to terms with his death. In truth, I never did. That face, that look of pure, unadulterated terror, it stuck with me. \n\nFor the next 5 years, I endeavored to find out what Josiah saw. I think it must have been out of grief. I wanted to assure myself he was alright, that he was at peace. Perhaps it was a hallucination, I thought.\n\nI wish I just kept thinking that. \n\nI met with others like me. People who lost someone. People who witnessed their loved ones die, and they all had the same story as me. A brief moment of peace, before the fear sets in.\n\nThey all had their theories. Hallucinations caused by dying neurons, a vision of hell, the primal fear of death resurfacing at the last moment. They all thought different things, and we couldn\031t confirm any of these theories ourselves. We were alive, after all.\n\nOne of us, Sharon, I think, brought up people who died and were brought back to life. You know, when someone's heart stops, but doctors start it back up again before the brain fully dies. Stuff like that. She suggested we look for someone who had gone through that, and see if they would share anything.\n\nSo we put an ad out in the paper. Yea, weird, I know, imagine reading in the news a request to find people who were briefly dead. But we were all grief stricken and desperate, and it seemed logical to us. We figured we wouldn\031t actually find anyone this way. We were right at first, we got a few people coming to us with prank stories, getting their sick laughs out of us. Occasionally a priest would respond to our inquiry, try to tell us about the good word of God and the paradise that awaited the true believers after death . We, of course, didn\031t entertain these people for long.\n\nBut one day, someone came along who actually knew something. Tobias Smith was his name, A 72 year old veteran from Vietnam who suffered a stroke which nearly killed him. Doctors said he was legally dead for about 3 minutes before they brought him back. He called us one night, saying he had a near death experience he\031d like to share. \n\nWe invited him to meet with us in person, of course, and he agreed. Tobias told us to come down to an old church, so we did.\n\nWhen we got there however, we didn\031t hear what we wanted to hear.\n\n\034Sit down\035 Tobias barked. We all did, eagerly awaiting a first hand account of death, waiting for our curiosity to be satiated, our fear for the fate of our loved ones put at ease.\n\nWe didn\031t get that.\n\n\034Its not worth looking for.\035\n\nAnd with that, he started to walk away. We all tried to convince him to say more, and he did oblige, albeit with something we already knew.\n\n\034It hates.\035\n\nHe never contacted us again after that, and we could never get a hold of him. 1 week later, he was found dead. Hung himself. \n\nOur resolve was crushed at this point. Seemed the only way to find what we were looking for was to die. In fact, that\031s what I said, verbatim, the next time we all met up. And you wanna know what? We all agreed. We\031d have to die to find the answers we wanted.\n\nSo I volunteered to die.\n\nOur plan was straightforward, simple. Using electrical impulses, my heart would be stopped, then restarted after 3 minutes. One of the people in the group, Clarence, was a med student, so he would be in charge of all that. Everyone else would watch, and wait.\n\nThe day of our experiment came, and here I was, strapped onto a table, electrodes on my chest, ready and willing to die. I wasn\031t scared. Maybe i would get to see Josiah again, I thought. Or at least, a glimpse of where he was.\n\nButtons were pressed, devices were turned on, and before I could say a word, I closed my eyes, and I was dead.\n\nIt\031s peaceful, for a few moments. Like floating in nothingness. In that moment I was feeling the most serene feeling I had felt in my entire life. I wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, at peace in the void.\n\nAnd then I opened my eyes.\n\nImagine you were standing at a window with the curtains closed, and you opened them. Imagine looking out through that window, and seeing a sight so utterly terrifying, that your greatest desire in life became to close the curtains, gouge out your eyes, and never see anything ever again. That\031s kind of like how I felt, but there\031s no way I could describe it in text. The feeling is more than that. It\031s something deep inside the mind. Something I don\031t think people were meant to experience.\n\nI opened my eyes to a maelstrom of chaos. I was pulled apart by winds made of glass shards, then put back together with my blood replaced by acid. I was thrown onto a field of spikes made of salt and left to rot for a trillion years. Vultures ate my bones and recounted to me the worst moments of my life. My eyes were turned inside out so that I could see my own pain. I was given every disease possible and then nailed to the walls of a fortress made of blood. I don\031t exactly know if these things actually happened, or if I was just told to feel like they were. By who? Beats me. \n\nThroughout all of this, I could see It. Something watching. It had an eye, looking down on me from the sky. I don\031t know if It had anything else, I think It was just the eye. It felt, and I felt that feeling. Its presence alone imposed Its feelings onto me. In that moment, I think I was one with it, and it was one with me. \n\nAnd It hates.\n\nI woke up in a hospital bed. According to Clarence, when they brought me back I lunged for the nearest sharp object and tried to stab out my eyes. I remember doing that, but I remember that I thought it was a dream. \n\nOf course the group asked me what I saw, what I felt, if I met any of the ones we loved, but I didn\031t want to tell them. It would break their hearts to know. I had no answer for them. We already knew what the truth was. I laughed, and I told them the answer we had from the very start.\n\n\034It hates\035.\n\nI never spoke to any of them ever again. They had gotten their answers out of me, and I got what I wanted out of them. Closure.\n\nI knew the fate of Josiah, my love. I knew the fate of everyone we had lost, and everyone we have yet to lose. My heart was at peace, at least knowing what they all saw, what they will see. I was sad and afraid, of course, but the fact that this fate was inevitable eased my mind. No point in fighting against destiny, I think. \n\nI lived my hollow life, pretending to have never seen what I saw. I\031m pretty good at hiding things, if you haven\031t noticed. But now, I\031m writing this on my deathbed. Terminal lung cancer. One hell of a disease.\n\nI\031ve instructed a close friend of mine to post this once I die. If you\031re reading this I\031m dead, and she fulfilled her promise. \n\nI bet I can guess what you\031re thinking now. \034Why write this?\035, \034why share this with strangers on the internet?\035 To tell you the truth, I don\031t know. I just felt like I had to tell someone what I\031ve seen. Had to warn people. Maybe someone who knows more than me can learn how to avoid all this, or not, who knows.\n\nAnyway, I\031m out of time. I can see It now. Faintly. Its eye watches me, waits for me to lose my grip on this life. I think I\031m going to die soon. To tell you the truth, I\031m a bit scared. I don\031t want to go back to that place. But I\031m too weak to fight now.\n\nPart of me wants to deny that it\031s real. Part of me wants to think that I can just keep my eyes closed. That I can float in that peaceful place I was in before. But part of me knows that\031s impossible. My eyes are already opened. Can\031t close them again. Once you know the truth, you can\031t forget it.\n\nSomething waits for us after death, and It hates.
## 16 So, for a bit of backstory, my girlfriend (20afab) and I (20afab) have been going out for a year, and just had our first year anniversary on the 30th. We both met online as most introverted, queer kids with mostly elderly people in their areas do (mostly mine). We both live an hour\031s distance from each other. At the beginning of our relationship, I had to hide it because I have very overprotective, helicopter parents that will full on yell at me, disapprove of anything I do, people I talk to, and want to know every little detail about my life and hate any secrets kept from them. The first two times I went over to see her (we both don\031t drive yet, her family doesn\031t allow for her to use ride sharing apps and her herself has really bad anxiety about using them, and ironically despite my parents not liking me to go out tons aside from work and anything they completely know about) everything went fine, and it was presumed I was with a friend that they knew I had from my job at the time. Once I tried being more open with them and actually being honest because I hate hiding anything, however have a huge fear of being brutally criticized and told that I\031m doing everything wrong if I\031m being honest, they started lashing out in refusing to drive me to work or anywhere, telling me to use Uber for everything, locking me out of the house or telling me to be home at a certain time otherwise they lash out even more, and kept talking about rent which they finally charged me on after coming back from seeing my gf again which they fully knew about (complaining that I\031m spending money to go see her, despite them refusing to ever drive me and only taking me out ONCE to learn to drive& that\031s another issue, but I have been pulled out of school and homeschooled by my parents since the first grade, and they have refused to do a lot of necessary things for me, including preparing me to be out on my own and just having a \034figure it out\035 attitude about it.), told me I had to start paying them $720 a month because my brothers who are really special needs pay them that much through their SSI each month, and given that I spend money on my own food over half the time, pay for any transportation I need if I\031m refused a ride, for any necessities, and that I only make $12 an hour on a Monday-Friday 9-5 job& that\031s quite a lot for me. I\031ve been threatened that if I think they\031re trying to screw me over or that they\031re charging me too much, I can move out and see that I\031m paying twice as much for utilities and rent and any other miscellaneous bills, and that I\031m simply being given the best deal& fast forward to the last few months, my parents have been driving me the past few months to and from work and have seemed to calm a bit on their rent by giving me a discount of me owing them $500 a month. I do apologize for rambling on and getting off track& about six months ago, my girlfriend started working a part time job where management, specifically her boss treats her and her coworkers like shit at times and doesn\031t tell them everything about their shifts and gives shit for calling off and trouble giving requested time off. Because of her high anxiety and liking to appease people (much like myself) and not liking to cause any conflict, and her boss continuously throwing days at her to work, she wasn\031t able to ask off and had to work the day of our anniversary. I on the other hand, have a more understanding and compassionate boss who gave me the day off, until one of our cashiers quit and instead of her covering my shift, I had to cover it. We\031re a smaller franchise pet store that is low on cashiers, and I\031m heavily relied upon, as most of our cashiers are all still in high school and can only work evenings or weekends& fast forward to this past week, my mom has been screaming at me that I\031m making excuses for my girlfriend, and that even with part time jobs you still have rights to ask off of work and is shitting on me for initially taking the day off work to spend time with her, even planning to go over to her job before her shift ended, and for me still even going out to see her and saying she makes no effort for me, which in reality, we\031re both trying our best to accommodate each other in our own circumstances and still love each other both very much and try our best to call everyday and text as much as we can. She\031s working on her drivers license and once she gets hers she\031ll be coming out to me frequently. I\031m in the process of obtaining a permit and saving up money for drivers Ed because my parents told me I have to pay for school myself and that they won\031t help me. The issue at hand right now is us planning that anniversary time and my parents essentially giving me shit for every aspect of the relationship and for me being in a relationship with anyone. I can\031t speak about wanting to do anything with my partner without my mom making me feel really bad about it. To anyone that\031s even read this far, I admire your patience, as I don\031t have that with myself. I really apologize for going in loop holes, but hope that I\031ve partially explained my situation with mostly my mom, fair amount of the time my dad too. As much as I need to, please take a breather and a break after reading this.
## 17 I moved in with my roommate L 5 months ago, we met though her boyfriend T that was a casual friend of mine. L sucks, but not as much as her dog that has completely destroyed our apartment because of her neglect. Her dog can open the doors and has pissed on my bed and a pile of laundry I had on the floor in my room. Her dog is like this because L likes to get trashed at bars and then will sleep at Ts the next day and leaver her dog without food or water or bathroom trips for some times 48 hours. Her dog as ripped all the blinds off the patio, scratched up all the doors in our apartment too. My breaking point is the 600$ bike I just got she has jumped up and chewed the handle. \n\nWhen I\031ve told L I\031m not going to be taking care of her dog (I love dogs but I work 45 hours and go to school 12 hours) and that she needs to be more responsible she says I\031m being cruel and aggressive. I don\031t think I\031m out of line for telling her it\031s not okay to feed your dog pasta and that it should have dog food or not taking her out for 2 days is neglect. She\031s not even busy she\031s a school teacher and just gets to fucked up to care for her pet. \n\nShe also cheated on her boyfriend T and they constantly argue while they are trashed. She doesn\031t think she cheated on him even though she was texting his friend/coworker that she wanted to fuck him. She\031s unhinged from reality. She constantly cries with her door open waiting for me to get home and be sympathetic but I can\031t be it\031s insane!\n\nI found a place to move that will be only 50$ more but I\031ll have to break the lease but I\031ll be living alone. I won\031t be able to move in for 3 months. I know she\031s going to have a tantrum when I tell her but I can\031t stand it anymore.\n\nCan\031t wait to have peace even if I\031m an asshole for breaking the lease
## 18 I live in a large town/small city, lot of college kids. I've never gotten a license, and that's a whole other rant. I lived in 3 different states through high school. We should make driving licences just universal, my god. I don't drive much. After leaving for college, taking on the extra cost of a car (plus insurance, plus gas, plus repairs) never made sense. \n\nIn college I mostly walked or rode the busses. Since graduating, I've been cycling everywhere. I do about 20-25 minutes to work each way, and my grocery is easier to walk to. It keeps me fit, since I've been in a slump and not exercising. I do enjoy it much more than driving, which makes me so nervous. \n\nBut my problem is gd motorists. We don't have adequate bike lanes so I keep on the sidewalk so I'm not killed. Not to mention the occasional heckling, which is so incredibly stupid. Yes I'm gay but that has nothing to do with wearing a helmet. I give extremely generous right of way because no one is paying attention. I wait until I've made eye contact with a motorist stopping often. The amount of texting and driving I see is insane. Texting while you're making an unprotected turn!\n\nNot to mention other issues like stretches of road and sidewalk full of broken glass either from the tornado four damn months ago or from drunk kids. \n\nBut there is some hope! My city has been working on constructing eventual bike lanes. A friend of mine is getting involved with a local org for cycling. I'm just gonna try to stay positive and not get hit.
## 19 It's cold, dark, and something is after me down here. My phone battery is almost gone, and I don't have much time. Let me tell you how this happened.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI love exploring caves. You never know what you'll find, and its a nice experience. So when I found an abandoned mine shaft near the outskirts of my town, it piqued my curiosity. So of course, I climbed into it. I'm not an idiot, of course I brought food, water, my cellphone, and a weapon to protect myself, in case an animal tried to attack me. I also made to leave a trail of bright blue yarn so I could find my way back. But I couldn't prepare for what happened next.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe mines had low ceilings, and I had to crouch in order not to hit my head. As I explored the winding tunnels, I started to feel dizzy. I took my phone out, and tried to find out where I was. According to my phone, I was going in circles. Weird, right? All my surroundings were unfamiliar, and I didn't remember seeing these patterns in the walls. I left a trail, and if I was indeed going in a circle, I would have came across it again.\n\nOther strange things began happening. As I went further into the tunnels, I heard breathing noises. I didn't know what it was coming from, but I now knew I wasn't alone down here. Weirdly enough, the noises seemed to be coming from the walls. Of course, this is where I bailed out. I followed my trail back, but when I wasn't able to find the start of my trail. I knew I hadn't walked this far, so why was it taking so long to find the entrance? So, I called my friend to help me out. \n\nI didn't hear anything from them for a couple of minutes, until they texted me something. "I followed your trail until the end, but I can't find you. Where r u?"\n\nI was baffled. This had to be a nightmare, right? I pinched myself just to make sure, but sadly, I wasn't dreaming. \n\nI kept following the yarn trail until I reached a dead end. The trail cut off, and the breathing in the walls became louder. I started to run. I looked back, just to see what it was, and was met with the sight of a vaguely humanoid creature, mangled and dirty, crawling after me. I threw my knife at it, but instead of stopping or falling, its flesh seemed to absorb the knife into its body. The sight was horrifying, and I would have puked right then and there if I wasn't scared that it might catch me. The creature screeched, and I felt like my ears were going to bleed.\n\n I was able to outrun it for the time being, but it will get me someday. If I am able to escape, I will never go into creepy tunnels ever again. \n\nI hope all of you listen to my warnings, and please NEVER go into creepy mine shafts.
## 20 I just started a new wfh job on 4/1. I have a nanny who is due to have her own baby in May. For months I have been trying to find a replacement with no success, people ghosting interviews etc. I finally resigned myself to putting my baby in daycare and paid the enrollment fee. Suddenly a friend of mine who also worked formally as a nanny before messaged me to say her job ended on 3/31 and she is looking for work (she has babysat in the past). I am thinking wow this may be a miracle moment or something! \nSome background: my friend has chronic medical conditions which cause flair ups that even lead to hospitalization. She is in constant pain and gets poor sleep as a result. When she has babysat for me in less high stakes scenarios she would not wake up in time, even when I was giving her a ride to my house to watch my baby. She would not respond to calls or texts and I would drive home sans childcare. I'd get apologies an hour or so later. Eventually she actually gets a traditional job making more $$ and I get my awesome nanny who has been professional and never late!\n\nYesterday I had her scheduled to arrive at 9am to help me while I did some work around the house. In a way its my test of sorts to see if she could come. At 1030!am she texts me asking if I want Starbucks (no! I have coffee at my house wtf are you doing making stops). She didn't arrive until 11am. She comes in, starts crying telling me how exhausted and in pain she was and how she struggled this am. We have a heart to heart. I express my concerns around a new job and her ability to show up. She says she can get into a better routine and med mgmt and be more consistent etc. She then falls asleep for 3 hours on my couch then drives home. I get no childcare that day. \nLuckily my current nanny should be able to continue (if no baby arrives) for the next 2 weeks until I figure things out. \nShe is a good person and I know could really use the money. But i really need childcare. And I can't find a new nanny to date.\nShould I just put my kid in daycare or give her another chance?
## 21 Ok here's an incident that happened to me yesterday, if you have enough time :)\nI'm an Indian College Student and just like every student I was desperate to make some money for myself and just when i wanted a job, A friend of mine recommended me a company.\nKnown as BIOSASH. (it's an Indian company selling sea buckthorns) \nThe catchphrase was "WORK FROM HOME AND GET PAID 8000 RUPEES OR MORE, JUST 5 HRS OF YOUR TIME WILL BE TAKEN" \nand being an ignorant fucker i got interested and texted my friend that I'll do it. (i thought its a job where I'll work 5 hrs and they'll pay me, simple) \nBut It was not. \nMy friend gave me vague details about the job, he said to me "once you attend their seminar, you'll know about everything" \nAnd guess what the ticket to the seminar was 300 rupees (which was not much and i agreed to pay, because duhh i was getting a job) I was very excited. \nTimeskip to attending the seminar, \nThere they told me all about this pyramid shit on how I'll have to recruit 4 people and then so on..... \nThey fucked with my head, presenting some successfull candidates who joined this company 2 years back and made a fortune doing this pyramid shit. Also other convincing bullshit. \nThey demanded 11,800 rupees as fee to get in, and when i asked them why they want such huge amount? they said its for training and "personality development" \nI knew somethin was fishy. \nHell, if i wanted to develop my personality i would read some good books, do some quality shit and fuck i do have a nice enough personality, i dont wanna waste my money in this development horseshit. \nI asked them to give me some time to think about it.\nGot Home did some fuckin research and eventually said a crystal clear NO. \nThey tried very hard to convince me but fuck' em. \nThough I lost 300 rupees when i paid for the seminar. \n(but no regret, i learnt something) \nGod I was close... At one point i felt shit let's do it but i was tired of making impulsive decisions and thought it over one more time. \nSharing this story because... ( i dont know why I'm sharing this but take whatever you want from this story) \nPeace.
## 22 Tyranny of Phandelver, the guide to running Tyranny of Dragons as a sequel to Lost Mine of Phandelver, has been updated.\n\nThe pdfs are now fully searchable and you can mark or highlight them at your pleasure. The guides haven't changed, but the text has been edited for clarity. They're available now on DMs Guild:\n\n[Hoard of the Dragon Queen](https://www.dmsguild.com/product/362922/Tyranny-of-Phandelver-Hoard-of-the-Dragon-Queen)\n\n[The Rise of Tiamat](https://www.dmsguild.com/product/364406/Tyranny-of-Phandelver-The-Rise-of-Tiamat)\n\nIf you've already purchased the guides, you can get the updates free of charge when you log in to DMs Guild. If you haven't bought them yet, there's never been a better time to grab them.\n\nAs always, thanks to this community for your tremendous encouragement and support.
## 23 I've mentioned this in a previous comment of mine, but one of things I really, really appreciate about MiA is that Tsukushi frequently references obscure biology facts, especially when it's related to an animal.\n\nAnd, I haven't seen anyone else mention them or collect them all in one place, so here it is: a short list of obscure biology facts in MiA.\n\n**The Curse of the Abyss** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/The_Abyss#The_Curse_of_the_Abyss)\n\nThis one gets talked about relatively frequently, but for those who don't know already, it's very clearly a reference to [decompression sickness](https://www.healthline.com/health/decompression-sickness#symptoms). Decompression sickness occurs when you experience depressurization, causing bubbles to form in your blood.\n\nIf you're diving, then this would occur when you *ascend* too quickly. Like the curse, fatigue, dizziness, shock, and confusion may ensue. And if you're a deep-sea creature ascending from the abyssal zone, however...well, [just look at this poor blobfish](https://www.sciencefocus.com/nature/the-blobfish-a-bloated-guide-to-the-worlds-ugliest-animal/). Looks a lot like the curse of the 5th layer, right?\n\n**Neritantan** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Neritantan)\n\nPossibly a cuter, furrier, and tastier version of naked mole rats. The reason why I say naked mole rats is [two-fold](https://nationalzoo.si.edu/animals/news/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-naked-mole-rats):\n\n1. They both live in complex, underground tunnels (see: all of episode 9).\n2. They [bunch up together to defend their colonies](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Neritantan/Image_Gallery?file=Neritantan_Nest_%2528Anime%2529.png).\n\nAnd I'm not aware of any other mammals that exhibit such behavior. The notable differences are that Neritantans don't necessarily have a queen like naked mole rats do, but they do inflate themselves to as a defense mechanism, [the way puff adders, frogs/toads, or pufferfish might](https://listverse.com/2014/01/03/10-weird-self-inflating-animal-species/).\n\n**Ottobas** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Ottobas)\n\nMaybe this one is not *that* obscure.\n\nIt looks like a hippo, it's aquatic like a hippo, it's [crazy aggressive and dangerous](https://www.livescience.com/27339-hippos.html) like a hippo, and it'll [sneak up on you like a hippo](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/comments/tbd9en/hippo_sneaks_up_on_family_swimming_in_a_lake/). The only fact about hippos that could be obscure is that like the Ottobas, [hippos are an invasive species](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2021/01/11/invasive-hippos-escobar-colombia-castrate/).\n\n**Corpse Weeper** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Corpse-Weeper)\n\nThis one is complicated. Its features appear to come from a lot of different places:\n\n* voice mimicry: quite a few birds are known to mimic human sounds - [parrots can mimic voices & noises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ_wO0r16ww), [cockatiels can sing songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no42Jy3tUZQ) \\- but the corpse weeper is known to mimic a *wide variety* of sounds. This calls to mind the lyrebird, [which has a similarly impressive repertoire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjE0Kdfos4Y), and which also copies the sounds of other animals.\n* eye placement: The corpse weeper has two, but not three, eyes: one on top of its head, and one on its side. The only animal that I can think of that has such radical, asymmetrical eye-placement are flatfishes - one of their [eyes will migrate](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/flatfish-animals-science-colors-flounders) to [the other side of their head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIMRSt40OMk) as they grow - but even then, both eyes move to the same side. A flounder's eye does not get stuck at the top of its head!\n* social coordination: corpse weepers can work together to hunt! Most of the time, when you think of carnivorous birds, you think of a lone hawk or an eagle, but there are a few species of birds of prey that coordinate their hunting, the most impressive of which is [Harris's Hawk](https://www.audubon.org/news/better-know-bird-how-harriss-hawks-hunt-wolves-bring-down-prey).\n* lack of beak: the corpse weeper is supposedly a bird, but to my knowledge, all birds have beaks. Honestly, this feature stumps me. Is it supposed to scrape away flesh with [a radula](https://barnegatshellfish.org/radula_02.htm) (a rough, "toothy" tongue) instead? Maybe [its long tongue](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Corpse-Weeper/Image_Gallery?file=Corpse-Weeper_eating.png) is inspired by [hummingbirds](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/science/the-hummingbirds-tongue-how-it-works.html)? Idk.\n\nFor the 5th layer and beyond, spoilers follow:\n\n>!Turbinid Dragon !<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Turbinid-Dragon)\n\n>!This one is a mishmash of creatures, and I had a really tough time figuring out what it was. A giraffe crossed with a seahorse? Giraffes are known to kick lions, just as the Turbinid Dragon kicked Reg... !<[\\[video link\\]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCG9y7Sh404)>! It wasn't until the Volume 10 extras (chapter 60.5) came out that I recognized something.!<\n\n>!The twitching back legs that Riko says belong to its children? That's clearly what the African Jacana does. !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/blogs/creatura-blog/2020/05/this-jacana-leg-situation-is-actually-adorable/)\n\n>!Pseudo-Water!<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Pseudowater)\n\n>!For me, its parasitic nature is not particularly interesting. While it could be an exaggerated version of cholera !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.cdc.gov/cholera/illness.html)>!, since they are both waterborne diseases that cause diarrhea, I'm sure there are plenty of other sources of inspiration. Cholera can't be the only waterborne disease that causes humans to create more infected water.!<\n\n>!No, the interesting bit is pseudo-water's other effects: causing people solidify into...something. To me, this is strongly reminiscent of tree man disease (which causes your skin to grow tree-like growths) !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/tree-man-syndrome#definition)>!, maybe mixed with some Münchmeyer disease (which causes your muscles, tendons, and ligaments to turn to bone) !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4082270/)>!.!<\n\n>!Narehate Village Toilet!<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Made_in_Abyss_Chapter_043)\n\n>!Yes, I also think this thing has an inspiration too. !<u/AntiqueSandwich,>! this is for you.!<\n\n>!To find the inspiration, all you have to do is ask yourself: are there any organisms out there that act as a toilet?!<\n\n>!So yes. Yes there is. Enter the carnivorous pitcher plant. Carnivorous plants frequently live in nutrient-poor soil, meaning they need to eat animals in order to get enough nitrogen (and possibly other nutrients). However, for plants, feces are also nutrient rich. Perhaps it should be (un)surprising then, that a pitcher plant would evolve to devour poo. !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.sciencealert.com/where-does-a-shrew-do-a-poo-in-its-very-own-loo-of-course)\n\nNow, I could go on, but I also don't want to turn my post into a wall of text explaining every single creature. Instead, I'd rather you ask me about the other creatures of the abyss, and I'll try my best to tell you what I think its sources of inspiration are!\n\nEDIT: apologies for ugly formatting. It appears that spoilers and links don't play well together. Also spelling, phrasing, and a few more facts.
## 24 We were soon busy taking advantage of the brief moment of peace before the tournament began. Sarkona, Alexandra, and Antonia were stood by the door - they'd need to be quickly gone to find out as much as they could about the other teams when the game began, and lay the groundwork for whatever deals they could strike with the other teams in the future. The remaining six of us went through the rounded door into the engineering room, which was really something else.\n\nIt was a tall, triangular space partitioned into three sections, one for each Proxy. Crates of materials and spare parts were stacked up around each one, very tidily at this point but I assumed that wouldn't last long. Those materials would have to last us until the end of the tournament - unless we could secure some from trades with other teams.\n\nAnd then there were the Proxies themselves, mounted against the walls in Vitruvian Man style pose for easy access to the limbs. I quickly spotted mine, which had now been painted to match my own jumpsuit colouring - the majority of the humanoid figure was a dark green, but the joints and joins between the armour plates were lined with blue. I'd opted for a fairly human-looking head shape - though with the exception of the round, pale blue lenses of the eyes, there was no need for other facial features. I'd had a jaw etched in for looks though, and seeing the final finished product I was reminded a little of shark teeth painted on the nose of a plane, which made sense, because Blaise was my primary engineer. Otherwise I'd kept things fairly simple - standard armour plating, five fingers, toes - sticking very much to my strengths in what I'd been learning all this time.\n\nBlaise kicked the foot of the taller Proxy and leaned against it's side, picking up a physical display to look at, "Final product looks good, paint job looks well! Gimmick's installed nicely too, exactly to specifications. Anode, how are you doing over there?"\n\nAnode gave a thumbs up from where she stood next to Tungsten's Proxy. Tungsten had followed Gatecrash's advice and stuck with a humanoid joint configuration too, though his was a lighter configuration than my own, with less armour plating. Green and silver highlights covered the body, and I could see a tiny bow-tie that had been painted on just below the neck. Otherwise the angles of his Proxy were much sharper, parts reminiscent of some of Anode's body design. The head was a largely triangular shape which made me think of a dinosaur, with a large, singular green orb which glowed brilliantly bright in the centre of the head. The hands and feet matched Tungsten's own - two thumbs on each hand, and the claw-like feet which made a distinctive tapping sound on hard surfaces as he walked.\n\n"Ready to go as we'll ever be!" said Anode, "Though I wish we had time for last minute adjustments. Probably pushing our luck if we were to try, right?"\n\nTungsten patted her on the upper shoulder, "It looks fine as is. Brilliant, in fact. Gatecrash and Sasha?"\n\nIn contrast to Tungsten's, Gatecrash's Proxy leaned more in the direction of heavier armour, though if I hadn't been learning what to look for in practice, I'd have completely missed the signs. The lithe-looking, slightly taller form of the Proxy was using layered armour around the joints, and heavier plating lined the knuckles (six digits there), forearms, and feet (normal with toes, similar to my own Proxy). The armour looked almost medieval-like in areas. There was a red-and-white tie-dyed patterned patch on each of the Proxy's upper arms, almost perfectly matching Gatecrash's bandana. There was less green visible on Gatecrash's Proxy, as large segmented plates were left their default dark grey. The Proxy had a large partially transparent dark red visor which stretched around the entire head. I could see machinery moving around on the inside, and small lights that occasionally blinked on the inside of the rounded skull.\n\n"We are good. Many moving parts. Was worried about replication error, but is good work," came Sasha's reply.\n\nNext to each Proxy was a large, wall-mounted telescoping arm, which would allow the Engineers to quickly access and move parts during their maintenance. But in comparison to the machinery I'd seen in the *Peeping Tom's* fabrication room, this was a lot more rudimentary. The restrictions placed on the Engineers really limited what they would be able to fix.\n\nI looked around once again, "Obvious question time," I said, "How do they get the Proxies out of here? The door isn't large enough to let them through, well, not standing up anyway."\n\nBlaise didn't take his eyes off the display in his hands, but pointed with one arm at my Proxy's toes. "The floor retracts here - then I think there's tunnels where they'll be moved to the arenas. At least I hope so! Wouldn't want you to have to avoid the other teams in the corridors on your way to a round!"\n\nI nodded, "I'm going to go check if the others are alright - I'd like to join them as we discussed for the first while. I'll be back before we leave for the first round?"\n\n"Sounds good mate, enjoy!" said Blaise.\n\nThe first round of the tournament was a bit unique in that on subsequent rounds, we'd usually be discussing strategy or helping the Engineers (in my case, I'd probably be handing things to Blaise, and that was the extend of my knowledge). But with no information to go on and the Proxies in perfect condition, I could actually accompany the Ambassadors for once - which I'd been looking forward to, as it would be a good way to get familiar with how they gathered information in practice. The three of them were still stood by the door, Antonia bouncing on her feet slightly in excitement.\n\n"Still tagging along?" said Sarkona, "Remember what we discussed - play the strong and silent type, aura of mysteriousness, let us do the talking. Might help us deal with some of the more serious groups."\n\nI'd been practicing my serious face for a while in preparation for this, and relaxed my features and folded my arms.\n\n"Perfect!" said Sarkona, "Now we just need to sell the myth that before a thousand years under the ice, you were a warrior-lecturer who spent their life mastering the martial arts."\n\n"Oooh," said Antonia, joining in, "And some of the techniques you mastered have long-since been lost to time... or hidden away by the Multispheres." As she moved to punch me gently on the arm, I mocked a fancy interception, and she laughed.\n\nAlexandra scoffed and shook her head a little, "If that technique ever worked on anyone, I think I'd quit out of protest at the sheer stupidity."\n\n"As you should," said Sarkona, giving me a wink, "Can we go over the plan one more time before we start?"\n\n"Yes, it is fairly simple," explained Alexandra, straightening her suit jacket with one hand, "Sarkona splits off to begin with, see if they can see what's going on with the arenas, and meets as many people as possible. The rest of us stick together - with our silent pilot to draw some attention. In negotiations we should be fairly truthful - though we should bend the truth slightly if we think the situation calls for it. Remember that lying outright might get us a momentary advantage but will sour relationships in the future, so we should only do it in later rounds. Clear?"\n\n"Yes," said Sarkona and Antonia simultaneously. I nodded and mimed zipping my lips shut. This was Alexandra's domain, and I had no intention of intruding.\n\nA few moments later, a chime rang out over our team's space. Whoever owned it had clearly been practicing their commentating voice.\n\n*"Gooood day contestants! It's a beautiful sunny morning here in the southern hemisphere, and may I give you all a very warm welcome to this Resiliency Tournament! Given that you're all newcomers today, we really hope that you're going to have a great time and learn what a thrill Resiliency can be to play! We're about to get started with our first break period - Ambassadors, you will have thirty-five minutes to get out there and speak with the other teams! We ask that all teams be back in their team areas at that time, which is when the first matches will be played. Your first opponent will be displayed upon the wall of your team area. Have fun!"*\n\nThe chime rang out again, and I looked over my shoulder to where text was fading into view on the wall.\n\n*MATCH 1: OVERGROWN WITH MOSS VS NIMBLE POINDEXTERS*\n\nSarkona sprinted out of the door, with the rest of us not far behind.\n\n_ \n\nPart 97 (Coming soon!)
## 25 Has anybody else been ghosted by their LO?\nIf so did it improve or worsen your limerence?\nI had been having good conversations with mine (always me texting first) but as soon as I ask him to hangout ...no reply!
## 26 I (20sF) went to an outdoors EDM concert with a friend (20sM) of mine a few years ago; it was my first time.\n\nI was very excited to go, but due to the nature of these concerts (drugs, etc.) and because it was my first time, I asked that my friend not leave me alone during the concert. I didn't have any drinks or drugs because I wanted to be in full control of myself (due to previous 'incidents'). The concert was in a different town so we took a sort of party bus that was going to the concert; there were some other people on the bus who were doing party drugs.\n\nAbout 1.5 hours in (introductory acts were going on) my friend left to get a drink and joined the other group of people (the ones who had been doing drugs), who were a bit more animated than I was.\n\nI texted my friend to ask if they were coming back but they said they liked it where they were and that I could come join. I didn't end up joining them; I saw my friend dancing with one of the girls from the group and she was on his shoulders at one point.\n\n2 hours later, I saw that my friend had completely disappeared from the venue so I went to search for them. I texted them and they texted back, apologizing that they were on the phone and I saw they were on a very long phone call.\n\nAfter the concert, my friend rejoined me to go back to our city.\n\nI was pretty upset that my friend had left me alone for the concert, although I know I wasn't as fun as the other group to hang out with. I felt hurt that my friend left me alone after I asked them not to. I understand that the other group might be more fun, but my friend could have at least proactively communicated that he wanted to join their group, or check in with me once in a while rather than completely disappearing, etc. Did I overreact?
## 27 From my first day of widowhood, I\031ve been keen to note my good fortune in having a friend like Dan. In fact, there\031s no other friend like him. \n\n\n \nIt\031s hard to explain, even to the ones closest to us, how connected we are and have been all our adult lives. We met in a most peculiar way; in the wake of a natural disaster where we were assigned to one another in a \034buddy system\035. He had just arrived in the states then and was as lost as a soul could be, so I looked after him for a while. Who knew the buddy thing would stick so well.\n\n\n \nDan is an odd duck and he\031d say the same of me. For the full power of our friendship, we still argue all the time, or \034bicker\035, as Suzanne put it. \034*Like a couple of old hens fighting over the last packet of Splenda*\035, she once described us. In fact we have very little in common, Dan and me, and as a result of that we tend to get on each other\031s nerves. But every time we do, it\031s always in good-sport. What towers above our differences is our mutual admiration. Love, in fact. Yeah, I love him awful. \n\n\n \nI think any good relationship is sustained by useful triggers which occur when we\031re not expecting them. Perhaps by design, these little inspirations help remind us why someone matters, while validating that we matter to them. I\031m overloaded with such triggers tonight and I just wanted to tell someone.\n\n\n \nDan, Jackie and their boys are away this week, visiting Jackie\031s family. Tonight, I got a call from him asking me to go to his house, find a document he\031d forgotten, scan it and then send it to him. I just finished my day and was settled in my sweats and socks in the moment he called. \034*You\031re such a pain in the ass*\035, I told him. But of course I would go.\n\n\n \nDan\031s house is about 10 minutes from mine. We\031re both so at home at each other\031s houses that the structures are basically interchangeable. His garage opener is programmed into my car and so I would go in through the inside door. As I turned the knob, I instinctively kneed the door at the same time and wondered again when he might fix it. \n\n\n\nThe house felt strange, being as quiet as it was. I grabbed a soda from the fridge and as I was standing there at the island in his kitchen, I suddenly saw Suzanne. Not like her ghost or anything, just a memory, but it was particularly rich. \n\n\n\nBless her heart; my wife was a lousy cook. She took a lot of teasing over that. Dan is, by hobby, a gourmet chef and the memory was of a night when he was trying to teach her how to make one of his famous dishes. Any time the two were together, it was a comedy.\n\n\n\nAs an Australian, Dan hasn\031t shaken the accent altogether, or the quirky expressions that he packed and carried with him from a New South Wales upbringing. Suzanne learned them all and used them often, though \034Crikey\035 was her absolute favorite, even though I can\031t remember Dan ever saying it himself. \n\n\n\nShe and Dan lived to tease each other and on the night in my memory, I was sitting right where I was standing tonight, at the island in his kitchen, with a glass of wine watching them. Dan assigned her a cutting board and knife, telling her to \034Julian a pepper\035. Suzanne put the knife down in favor of a much larger one, saying, \034Dat\031s nought-a noyf\035 waving the larger one at him, saying, \034DAT\031s a noyf!\035 It was always like that between them. \n\n\n\nShe loved Dan and he loved her back. For Suzanne, Dan was the brother she never had.\n\n\n\nOff the kitchen is their family room and it\031s lousy with pictures - they\031re everywhere. I know most of the faces; over the years I\031ve met most of their families. The rest I know too well, my sons, Suzanne and me. In fact, as in my house, if you didn\031t know better, you\031d swear we were related for how often we appear in images on walls and mantles in each other\031s homes. For all the pictures, there\031s one I like the best. It\031s a series of pictures actually, Suzanne took them herself. She had them matted together in a long display to give to both of us. The first frame is of me and Dan sitting on a post fence; it was when we were vacationing together in Maine years ago, BC (before children). The second frame is of Dan losing his balance. The third is of Dan\031s feet in the air, and I\031ve got my head back, laughing. The fourth is of Dan pulling me down with him and the last one is of the empty fence. I have the same one in my study and I see it every day (I just looked over at it as I type this) and it still makes me laugh. \n\n\n\nI went into his office to send the file and it\031s like another world in there. Dan\031s office is purely his. The rest of the house has Jackie\031s touch, littered by their boys, but the office is all his. He\031s got his cars and man-toys all over the place, some displayed on the shelves we built together some years back (another funny memory).\n\n\n \nFinding the file was easy enough. For all Dan\031s foibles, the man is organized. Once the file was found, scanned and sent, I returned the folder to the drawer. That\031s when I noticed files named \034Mack\035 (me) and another, \034Suzanne\031s stuff\035. I admit to being curious, but I would leave them be. \n\n\n \nAfter the accident, Dan took care of so many things; I still don\031t know the extent of it all. He doesn\031t mention it. In those days, I was in the hospital with Zach 24/7 and didn\031t really care about what business needed attention. He took over and handled everything. Anyway, I\031m sure that\031s what those folders were.\n\n\n \nSitting there, I thought about everything he\031s done. He\031s the first one I called that night, and he\031s been there since and in every way possible. He takes care of PJ on Zach\031s physical therapy days; he spends time with my sons when he senses I need a minute and then with me when he senses I don\031t. And every time he\031s at the house, though he doesn\031t think I notice, he does an inventory to be sure we\031ve got everything we need. \n\n\n \nThe useful triggers were swirling in my head and I was feeling grateful for my friend. Sitting at his desk, I remembered a couple of months back when I was in his office, just as I was tonight, and saw the book laying near the keyboard. It was \034The Widower\031s Journey\035; a how-to book on helping someone through loss. I never told him I saw it.\n\n\n \nI think there\031s a natural sense of doubt that comes with losing a partner and I know there were moments when I doubted nearly everything; faith and family not excluded. Dan was never in question.\n\n\n\nWith my mission complete, I locked the doors behind me to head home. I was backing out of his driveway when he sent me a text \023 \034TY, pal\035, confirming that he\031d gotten the file. \n\n\n \nI stopped the car to read him and then paused a moment to reply. I wanted him to know how much I appreciate him, but wasn\031t sure how to put it. I knew he wouldn\031t understand anyway \023 he wasn\031t in my head at the moment. So I just typed, \034Love you, man.\035\n\n\n \nThere was a brief pause before he texted back& \034Leave my liquor alone!\035\n\n\n\nI know how lucky I am. I wish everyone reading this was as lucky as me.
## 28 For context I am Cree/ Native and I live a community called Mistissini Quebec. I\031m a police officer and I have been in the force for roughly 10-11years, so being a member of the eenou eeyou police force you can go to other communities that under the grand council of the Crees. \n\nThis story takes place on my first year being on the force, I was 19 at the time and I was stationed at another community called waswanipi. Waswanipi is kinda in a swampy area and it was a summer night we\031ve revived a call from a bar that\031s about 30-40 minutes away from waswanipi, the bar is on a side of road and is in a& I won\031t say a little town but like a little area where people lived that work at a mine nearby. So it was my partner and I responded to call and drove for about 15-20 minutes, I was the one driving the car and had headlights at high beam, as we are driving we both spot something laying on the middle of the road and this thing was big at first I thought it was a moose, (it\031s not uncommon to see moose lay on road because of the heat and mosquitoes they tend to lay on the road to try and cool off.) \n\ni start breaking the car to slow done so hard that tires screeched and what ever that was laying there got up so quick and this thing was towering over our car (we are usually equipped with Tahoe\031s and suburbans, these are big SUVs) and I\031m not sure if it was because our lights but it look like this thing had a red eyes looking down at us, I\031ve never felt so scared in my life when I saw it\031s eyes but the thing roared at us and ran away and it was fast. My partner was paralyzed with fear when Im telling him to call backup, so I had to call it in myself and I remember trying to explain to dispatch about what we encountered without sounding crazy but after about 15 minutes our backup arrived we checked out where the thing ran to and honestly even with backup I didn\031t feel safe because that thing was huge and we had glocks( pistols don\031t do shit to bears) now you can imagine how I felt with pistol knowing that this gun can\031t bring down a bear on its own and this thing was bigger than a bear and a moose. We walk couple meters away to investigate what we encountered, after a few meters we saw this thing knocked down trees, we decided to walk back to cars and you could tell every single one of us was shaken up and I swear walking back to the cars I hear knocking on the trees, after getting back to cars I thought to myself if we had continued following the trail this thing was leaving behind what would happen to us if we encountered it again. A few days later people reported sightings of it from waswanipi to senneterre. In conclusion I strongly believe I saw a Bigfoot that night.\n\nSide Story: So when I was younger, I stayed my grandparents and my grandfather had a friend who can over to visit us. He told me a folk tale or a myth whatever you like to call it, he told me that apparently back before the colonial days, bigfoots were common and that they would attack native camps and they would take children. But apparently every native tribe would come together and have a war with the bigfoots, and they keep it a secret when the colonizers came,that\031s why there\031s far more less sightings apparently. Now I\031m not sure if he was telling the truth or trying to scare me but it kind of makes sense well the less sightings part but that\031s just me. Sorry for the long text =\002
## 29 A new working paper by [Daron Acemoglu, Alex He and Daniel le Maire](https://www.nber.org/papers/w29874), finds **those with MBAs increase returns on assets in the five years after their appointment. But that is not because they boost sales, ratchet up investments or raise productivity. Rather, the higher returns are the result of suppressing workers\031 wages.**\n\nMBAs managers seem to see workers as \034costs to be reduced\035 rather than an investment in human capital.\n\nNOTE: Most of the text is not mine, is from [The Economist](https://www.economist.com/business/2022/04/09/how-mba-wielding-bosses-boost-profits), I am only copying the main points and linking the original paper and article.
## 30 I am mainly writing this to get it off my chest, but also looking for help. I don't think I was ever in any danger, but I've been thinking about this a lot recently and want to hear the thoughts of The Experts. Maybe you guys can give me an explanation. I've been stalking reddit without an account for a while now, but I'm finally making one because of this. I just need to tell someone, anyone who can remember it, since I think it's only lost if I tell it over word of mouth.\n\nThere's a bit of context I need to give, so buckle in. If I cant keep it short, I'll try to keep it entertaining.\n\nPre pandemic, I used to work at a museum, the Museum of Discovery and Science in south Florida. Look it up, it's a pretty cool place. I loved it growing up. Ever see an otter up close? Pet a baby alligator? Stand in the mouth of a scale model of a Megalodon? Ride in a flight simulator? Watch an enormous mechanical clock powered by gravity and giant marbles tick away the minutes in the day? This place has it, and it's as cool as it sounds. I even had a birthday party there when I was a little kid, you get to do science experiments. And I'll admit, even after everything that's happened, I still love it.\n\nBut when I was in high school and needed volunteer hours, my mom insisted I go for the gold cord. So while I worked at my dad's synagogue and helped teach kids Hebrew, I eventually applied at MODS in my sophomore year and got a good portion of my hours working there on the weekends.\n\nWork was pretty good. The uniform was ugly as sin on me, that blue polo made me look like a tee-ball post and khakis did nothing to make my ass look good, but it was comfy so I didn't care. I worked in the party room, assisting in running birthday parties or special events. I'd arrive before the place opened and go to the team meeting, they'd give all of us a schedule and send us off. If you were in birthday parties, you and one other person would prepare the party room, set up the science experiment the kids would do, and then help pass out food. Once the party was over, you'd eat the leftovers with your coworker, clean up, and prepare for the next one. Because there were almost always more than one.\n\nAnd I loved working in those parties. Even though it was hard work, I hardly had time to take a break or eat a balanced meal between parties, and sometimes ended up leaving work really late, I got to work with kids (which I love) and was *never* bored. And sometimes you'd get tips, which made up for the fact I was still just a volunteer and had no money. But it was in these birthday parties where I first saw that girl.\n\nIt was actually my coworker who saw her and pointed her out to me. I really should mention my co-worker, shouldn't I? The person I almost always ended up working was was a gal I'll call Mels, not her real name but safety and privacy and all that. 4'11 girl with short black hair, a sharp tongue and strong voice. She was younger than me, I was 18 when she was 16, but she was technically my boss because she had the certification to run parties and I was her assistant. But we were really good friends, she'd play Spanish rap or Disney music over the party room speakers while we set up and we'd rock out to the music together. We both loved spicy food, marine life, and biking. Both of our schools had early childcare classes that we took, and we both were trying to get our CDAs in those classes. We basically became best work friends.\n\nBut another thing we shared was an insanely keen eye. Whenever something was missing or a child got lost, we were the ones they called, we'd find it in a snap. We were the record holders for the informal Timed Where's Waldo contest my other co-worker Trav had hosted during break. And in our own families, we were the ones called whenever something was lost. Nothing ever got past us.\n\nIt was the second out of three parties we had to do that day, and while I was precariously balancing the last few plates of pizza on my arms to bring to a group of ravenous toddlers, she tapped my arm and nodded to a child playing with the dino dig pit we'd built that morning. A little girl kneeling over it and throwing the rubber sand all over the party room floor. At the time I wasn't sure why, but I got a huge hit of deja vu.\n\n"Wasn't she at the last party?" Mels whispered in my ear, a challenge for her since I was nearly a foot taller and she had to stand on her toes.\n\n"Hold on, I can't see shit right now." I whispered back. Which was true, I'm blind as hell without my glasses, but I'd forgotten them at home that morning because I'm dumb as rocks. I brought the kids their food, but made sure to pass the girl that had been pointed out. And Mels had a point, the kid was really familiar. A little girl no older than five, white, brown pigtails tied with lime green bows, matching green dress, cute chubby cheeks. The green bows were especially familiar, such a weird color. Same exact color as a lime. Reconvening with Mels in the corner of the room by a window, she looked up at me.\n\n"She was at the last party, right?" she asked. "I'm not going crazy, right?" I shook my head.\n\n"No, I think you're right. Those bows. Definitely seen them before." I said. "I remember seeing them standing out against the blue tablecloths last party."\n\n"Yeah, same." Mels looked back to the kid. "Think she snuck in?"\n\n"We could ask the birthday boy's mom, see what's up."\n\n"Maybe. You ask though, she was kinda bitchy to me earlier. I'll sweep up the sand."\n\n"Alright." While Mels went to get the broom, I put on my Customer Service Smile and approached the mother of the birthday boy, clasping my hands behind my back. The woman looked up to me, her eyes glancing to my nametag for a moment, and smiled back.\n\n"Hi, Henrietta. You and your friend did a great job, Joey is having a great time." she said. Seems that now that the party had started, she had lost that edge she'd had in the morning. I nodded politely, as I always did.\n\n"Thank you, ma'am. Mels and I did our best. But you can call me Hatta if you want, less of a mouthful." I said. (Not my actual name, but I do have a weird name that I often go by a goofy shortened version of. So it works.) "But I just had a quick question?" Standing next to the mother, I pointed to the girl with the green bows, who we both saw throw a handful of rubber sand at Mels as she tried to sweep. The mother frowned.\n\n"Oh, is she being rowdy? I'm sorry, I'll talk to her if you need."\n\n"That wasn't- well, that would be appreciated, she is making a mess." I admitted. "But I swear I thought I saw her at the party in the morning, so I was wondering if you knew her. Just making sure she didn't sneak in."\n\n"Oh, I see. Yeah, we know her." the mother assured me. "She's in Joey's karate class, her name is Rosemary."\n\n"Okay, good. Thank you for clarifying, ma'am."\n\n"No problem. I'll go tell her to stop making a mess."\n\n"Thank you, ma'am." Watching the woman walk towards the girl, Rosemary, I returned to my usual spot in the corner by the window. While the mother scolded Rosemary, Mels managed to finish sweeping and joined me in the corner. Food had been passed out, kids were playing and eating, we didn't have anything to do until the pizza was gone and we had to start passing out cake. Mels sighed, then punched me in the rib.\n\n"Thanks for the help, Hatta." she said, chuckling.\n\n"You only said I had to talk to the mom. Not help sweep after. And I do exactly what you tell me to do."\n\n"You suck." She rolled her eyes. "But it seems the kid isn't a stowaway?"\n\n"Nah, friend of Joey's. Though who in the modern day names their daughter Rosemary?"\n\n"Who in the modern day names their daughter Henrietta?"\n\n"Shut the fuck up."\n\nThe rest of the party passed pretty uneventfully. Mels and I came to the conclusion that Rosemary had arrived early at the museum and had snuck into the first party before attending the one she was actually supposed to be at. And as the attendees trailed out, I watched Rosemary leave the party room with them, tagging behind the birthday boy and giggling. Mels and I proceeded to wolf down all the leftover pizza before taking all the decorations down and redoing the room for the third and final party. I remember as I was carrying the tank of liquid nitrogen for the nitrogen ice cream performance out of the storage closet, I caught a glimpse out the window of Rosemary and some of the other kids running around like maniacs in the parking lot. I paid it little mind, and just as Mels and I were finishing up the room for the final party, the door opened and in walked a mother, a father, and a son. The party was finally getting started. But as we were getting the last few ingredients from the fridge, I turned around to see another child had arrived, and was hiding under a table with the birthday boy. A little girl with a green dress and pigtails done up with green bows.\n\nMels and I gave each other a look. The only parents in the room were the birthday boy's, who's name I think was Do-yun. I took it upon myself to resolve the issue. While Mels spoke to the parents, explaining how the science experiment would go, I approached the kids and crouched down, giving them a smile. I made sure to address them both, but also put extra focus on the birthday boy.\n\n"Hey guys! Welcome to the museum, I'll be helping you have the most awesome birthday ever." I declared. The two children cheered with joy, and I clapped my hands together. "So, my name is Hatta, what're your names?" As I hoped, the boy spoke up.\n\n"I'm Do-yun, and this is my bestest friend Rose."\n\n"Your bestest friend? Wow, I wish I had a bestest friend. How long have you known each other?"\n\n"She's in- in school with me. In my class with me."\n\nBingo. Rose was, in fact, supposed to be here. Though where her parents were, I was still unsure.\n\n"Well, Do-yun, Rose, this party is gonna be the awesomest party ever, wanna know why?" I asked. The two nodded quickly. I leaned in, whispering. "Because we're gonna use science to make ice cream!" The kids screamed happily, as children tend to do, and as I stood up again, they took off, running around the party room like little feral animals. As children tend to do.\n\nBut despite how weird this whole thing with Rosemary was, Mels and I still had a job to do. While I passed out pizza, I informed Mels of my findings. And as it turns out, she'd made some findings as well. She'd videoed part of the first party of the day on her phone, for a ten year old girl named Sophie. She'd sent them all to Sophie's mother, but as she was going through them to delete from her gallery, she noticed something. In several clips, Sophie could be seen carrying none other than Rosemary around the room on a piggy back ride. As we watched the clip together, she didn't need to tell me her interpretation for me to get it. I scratched my collar, shrugging.\n\n"Small world, y'know?" I said, though I lacked sureness in my voice. Mels crossed her arms.\n\n"Three parties, Hatta? One kid invited to three parties? All on the same day?" I threw my hands up.\n\n"What do you want from me? I don't know what the deal is, its the only thing that makes any sense." Mels was very clearly shaken, and I sighed. "Look, I know it's weird, but we don't have answers here. Let's just run this fucking party, hopefully get our tips, and go home."\n\n"Fine, whatever." Mels grabbed her safety gloves and walked to the table where the liquid nitrogen ice cream experiment had been set up. I just sighed, grabbed my gloves as well, and followed her.\n\nThe final party went as smoothly as the two before it. And the ice cream Mels and I made for the kids was especially delicious that day. But by the time we were just starting to clean up, it was a quarter after five and the museum had been closed for fifteen minutes by then. As the guests were leaving the building, I made sure to watch and see who went out to the parking lot. And just like before, I saw Rosemary running around down there with the others. But this time, I didn't look away so quickly. I wanted to see what car she got into, as I hadn't been able to figure out who her parents were.\n\n"Henrietta, a little help?"\n\nI turned to see Mels had flipped the experiment table and was struggling to fold the legs in.\n\n"Gimme a sec." I looked back out the window. Rosemary was nowhere to be seen. I could see dozens of kids climbing into the backseats of their respective cars, but it seemed Rose had done so in the split second I'd been looking away. *Damnit.*\n\nThe museum closed at 5, Mels and I weren't out of the party room until 6 and my dad had been waiting outside for the last thirty minutes. Only a handful of people were left in the building, mostly the big guys who ran the place and people in the IMAX theatre, but the employee only room where I kept my backpack was completely dark and completely empty. At least, it should have been. As I jogged down the dark hallway after grabbing my stuff, music blasting through my earbuds and the only source of light being from my phone flashlight, I rounded a corner and skidded to a stop.\n\nIn the dark hall, illuminated by the light of my phone, I saw a little girl, green hair bows vibrant. Rosemary looked up at me with wide brown eyes, and smiled, toddling up to me. And for the first time in my life, I backed away from a small child.\n\n"Hatta!" she declared, hugging my leg. I froze in place. I could feel how cold she was through my pants. My heart pounded in my chest. What the fuck was she doing here? We'd been closed for an hour, I saw her leave. For some reason, I felt the cold grip of terror take hold of me. Nonetheless, I kept my cool. I hit the button on my earbuds, pausing the song.\n\n"You're Rose, right?" I managed to say despite the vice of fear in my chest. *She's just a little girl, she's totally harmless. I could punt her if I wanted. I don't, but I could.* Rosemary nodded.\n\n"Yeah! Where is this place?" Still hugging my leg, Rose looked around. "It's cool."\n\n"This is where Mels and I keep our stuff while we're working." I said. When Rose disengaged from my leg, I couldn't help but feel a wave of relief. "How did you get back here?"\n\n"I dunno, I just..." Rose proceeded to go into that mumbling, nonsensical ramble that toddlers sometimes go on, and while I had no idea what she was saying, I nodded like I knew exactly what she was saying.\n\n"I see. Well, do you know where your parents are?"\n\n"I dunno. Still looking for them."\n\n"How about this, kiddo?" I kneeled down, putting a hand on her shoulder. Her face was illuminated by my phone light, and I saw her big brown eyes looking into mine curiously. "My daddy is waiting for me, so I can't hang around for long. But I got some friends downstairs who can help you. They'll help you find your mommy or daddy. They got a phone and they'll make some calls for you. How does that sound?" Rosemary looked disappointed, but took my hand as I held it out to her, nodding slowly.\n\n"Okay."\n\nTrying to ignore how clammy her hand was, I escorted her downstairs and left her with the dude who worked the ticket office of the IMAX theater before booking it to the parking lot where my dad was still sitting in his van. He was annoyed, but I explained what the holdup was and he understood. We went home, and I told him about the events of the day in the car, and he agreed that it all was very weird. He told me to text Mels, which I did, and once I assured her that I was okay, she calmed down. My account of what happened in the back room really freaked her out.\n\nThough once I was home, I only thought about Rosemary for a few days before moving along with my week as normal. It wasn't until the next weekend did I remember her again. And after I saw her again, I couldn't stop thinking about her.\n\nI won't bore you with the details of every singe event, but Mels and I worked birthdays for six more weeks straight, two or three parties a day. And we saw Rose at every. Single. One. Every time we asked the parents, they said Rose was supposed to be there. And on the few times we ended up leaving late due to a party running long, we always found Rose wandering around in the employee only area, saying she'd gotten lost and making us take her to the front desk. But one of the weirdest parts was I was never sure if she remembered us or not. If we asked, she always spoke really vaguely, or did that Toddler Mumble Talk.\n\nI could see the way this was affecting Mels. She was quickly coming apart before my very eyes. I sat with her while she cried in between parties. And while I wasn't qualified to run parties, I led the science experiments a few times for her so she could sit in the back of the room and calm down. And I won't lie, I was starting to freak out as well, though as the master of Bottling Shit Up, I put on a brave face. Every time I saw this kid, I started to get this deep, visceral fear. I started to dread going into work, but I knew mom would be disappointed if I didn't get that gold cord for graduation, plus the tips were really good. So I bit my tongue and toughed it out.\n\nBut after the six weeks straight of parties, Mels and I were put on a different project for a day. We were assigned to help clean an airplane engine that had been on display for a few years, old girl had gotten filthy. We spent the day sweating in a garage and scrubbing dirt and oil of the thing, and we had a lot of time to talk. And for the first time in a few weeks, neither of us felt strained to the point of snapping. But of course, our conversation eventually turned to the subject of Rose.\n\n"I'm thinking about quitting." Mels said. I nodded in agreement.\n\n"Same. Once I get my gold cord hours, I'm fucking gone."\n\n"Yeah." We worked in silence for a while, until Mels spoke again. "She stares at you a lot."\n\n"What?"\n\n"Like whenever she shows up, she stares at you more. Or when she wanders into the back rooms, she always hugs you first, remember?"\n\n"Shit." I didn't know what to say. The subject changed quickly, neither of us wanted to talk about her, especially not on a day when we were finally free of her. But as it turned out, that day ended up being our last day working there.\n\nThe pandemic hit Florida, and the museum and our respective schools closed down for safety reasons. But Mels and I stayed in contact. And the moment that we were out of work and not seeing Rosemary every week, it was like Mels was a whole different person. Back to the headstrong, sassy, happy kid I knew. And for the last two years, we've stayed in contact. She is one of my best friends. We hardly even think about Rosemary anymore.\n\nUntil recently.\n\nI'm 20 now. Mels is 18. We both have our CDAs and graduated high school. I managed to get my gold cord by combining my Hebrew school and museum hours. Both of us are going to college, but still living at home due to the state of things. My mom is a preschool music teacher and got me a job working aftercare at the school she teaches at. And a few weeks ago, she brought me in to get fingerprinted on site and met my co-workers. But while I was there, I also got the chance to meet some of the kids I'd be watching over in the aftercare program. And as it turned out, they recently got a new student.\n\nLittle Rosemary, clad in a green dress and green bows in her hair. A little rowdy, but otherwise a delight to teach. And when I was introduced to the students, she gave me a big, happy grin, and hugged my leg without hesitation. And I know this may make me sound especially crazy, but her eyes seemed to be more green than before. Almost hazel, like mine. And her hug wasn't as cold as I remembered.\n\nI'm supposed to start next week. I really need the money, I want to move out sooner than later, and my family is great but my mom really wants me to get a job and use my CDA. But all the fear that I'd felt during my weeks at the museum is rushing back and the thought of going to work is making me nauseous. But I also love working with children, it's one of my dream careers. I just don't know what to do. I told my mom, and she said Rose has been attending for a little while before I got formally hired.\n\nI asked dad and mom and brother if they remembered Rosemary from the museum, and they said it sounded vaguely familiar, but didn't remember clearly and are telling me it's nothing I should worry about. And while ADHD and autism and learning disorders do run in my family, we all have shit memory, I feel like they should remember or even care more considering how freaked out they saw I was two years ago, and how every weekend for six weeks I texted them "she's here." I even asked Trav, who I am completely sure I'd told about Rose few times, and he has no recollection of those discussions. Right now, it feels like the only people who remember what was really happening with Rosemary are me and Mels.\n\nSpeaking of her, she's having freak-out because she's worried sick about me starting this new job. She's telling me to quit, but I don't know if my situation allows. She's terrified to get a job now.\n\nIf anyone can give me advice, I would appreciate the hell out of it. I'll update you all on what happens, but please, if anyone can tell us what to do, it would be greatly appreciated to say the least. Mels and I are kinda fucking losing it over here.
## 31 Hi, please help me. I am renting a room with a landlord and I pay monthly rent for the room. I work a very tiring job and usually come home (around 4pm) tired and sleep after I eat lunch. I stay in my room 90% of the time. I heard my landlord gossiping about me to her husband laughing and saying how I sleep so much and he was replying \034wow holy smokes\035. I am a female and felt so uncomfortable about their comments! I dont bother them or anything, I just stay in my lane. I have also texted my landlord the other day if she could please move her car so I could get mine out. She flipped out saying how we lacked communication and that I should ask her in PERSON! Then overheard her talking about me to her husband saying how I texted her instead of coming to ask her to move the car. \nI just feel very upset about this. Am I exaggerating? Please give me your opinion.\n\nThanks
## 32 \v\n\nA while back I ran across a post were someone mentioned that the slash command MACROSLOT allowed them to create macros that created other macros. I haven't had a use for that personally, but it stuck in my head anyway. I wondered, if a macro could create another macro, then maybe there is a way for a macro to replace itself?! Guess what? I did it. Introducing... Toggle Macros! \n\nToggle Macros are macros that replace themselves with a different macro when you click them. These macros can toggle back and forth between 2 macros or cycle through many different macros using the same button in the same power tray slot. This technique utilizes a previous discovery of mine that laid out how to [store and load multiple macros from a text file](https://forums.homecomingservers.com/topic/13380-transfer-macros-between-toons-effortlessly-a-how-to-guide/). Similar to text binds, Toggle Macros use text files to load different commands onto a button in the same power tray slot. This allows us to click on a single button multiple times and have it do a different thing on each click. You can even change the name of the macro button when clicked, and also change the icon for the button using the MACRO\\_IMAGE command. Simply put, it brings the versatility of text binds to macro buttons. \n\nThere are many, many uses for Toggle Macros. In the example below, I use a Toggle Macro to make a single button change my costume and activate Fly on the first click, and then on the second click change my costume back and turn off Fly. \n\nThe basic syntax and commands used to accomplish this are:\n\n MACRO$$MACROSLOT <macro-slot#> "<macro name>" "<command(s)>$$BINDLOADFILE <file path><text file name>"\n\nIf you haven't used the MACROSLOT command before, the macro-slot # is determined by counting in sequence from 0 starting on slot 1 of power tray 1, to 89 for slot 10 of power tray 9. For example, slot 10 of tray 1 is macro-slot # 9, slot 1 of tray 2 is macro-slot # 10, and slot 1 of tray 3 is macro-slot # 20.\n\nSTEP #1 - CREATE YOUR TEXT FILES\n\nSTEP #2 - CREATE THE MACRO USING THE COMMANDS FOUND IN THE FIRST TEXT FILE\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSTEP #1\n\nThe following example lists the file name and then the commands found within that text file.\n\nmFlyCC0.txt\n\n macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyON" "cc 1$$Powexec_Toggle_On Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC1.txt"\n\nmFlyCC1.txt\n\n macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyOFF" "cc 0$$Powexec_Toggle_Off Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC0.txt"\n\nSTEP #2\n\nIn game, type the commands inside the first text file into the chat box with a slash "/" at the beginning. Then press the Enter key to create the macro button.\n\n /macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyON" "cc 1$$Powexec_Toggle_On Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC1.txt"\n\nDone! You should now have a macro button named FlyON in slot 1 of power tray 3. Click it to change to costume 1 and turn on Fly. Click it again to change to costume 0 and turn off Fly. \n\nCAUTION: The MACROSLOT command will replace any power icon that is already in the designated macro-slot #. Make sure the power tray slot is empty before you create your Toggle Macro. This command will destroy any macro that you have in that macro-slot #. However, for powers it only deletes the power icon... not the actual power. You can always drag another power icon from the powers window and place it in a different power tray slot.\n\n\v
## 33 In [Part 1 of this essay](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPharmony/comments/tpomob/essay_hbp_and_the_canon_harmony_date_that_didnt/), we saw Hermione showing an interest in spending more time with Harry and getting him to come with her to Slug Club events. We also saw the two of them exchanging compliments and having interactions alone that involved blushing and smirking, all of which Ron viewed with confusion and then with outright suspicion.\n\nSeveral comments on the first part brought up the issue of authorial intent: did JKR *intend* to make Harry and Hermione look like something was going on between them? Did JKR *intend* to hint that Hermione might want something more romantic with Harry? The answer to these questions is simply *we don\031t know*. She\031s never (to my knowledge) discussed whether she might have set up Harry and Hermione as a potential \034red herring,\035 a potential plot diversion\024though she has explicitly indicated in several interviews that \034it could have gone that way,\035 that H/Hr at least *could have* worked together, and that there were \034charged moments\035 between them, particularly in DH.\n\nI personally don\031t worry too much about what JKR intended consciously, as we don\031t know. We only have the texts of the books, and as readers we are free to come up with interpretations that are *consistent with the text*. (For those who are curious, I wrote more about my philosophy on interpretation [in response to a comment on the last essay](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPharmony/comments/tpomob/comment/i2dma17/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).) I think it\031s important not to overly *distort* the text, to completely ignore parts of it to endow other parts with a selective meaning. But if we see two characters behaving differently from usual and consistently with a pattern of *possible* romantic interest, should we ignore that just because fandom decrees the endgame pairing is all that matters (or that it *couldn\031t possibly* mean that)?\n\nBefore the HBP book was released, shippers of all camps analyzed the text looking for romantic potential\024elements that indicated particular interest. I\031m not even delving into symbolic meaning in the present essay (which was a huge thing for shippers back in the day): I\031m literally just looking at what the characters say and how they act. And Harry and Hermione *are acting differently around each other* in HBP. Contrary to common perception, it\031s also not primarily negative. (Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione\031s relationship actually gets significantly *worse* for most of HBP, until after Ron\031s poisoning.)\n\nSo let\031s just run with the idea that Hermione is at least interested in spending more time with Harry (because that\031s clearly the case). And maybe let\031s allow for the *possibility* that\024after the two of them have exchanged compliments in a new way at the beginning of HBP and then had a bantery exchange\024perhaps Hermione is at least a *little* serious when she admits she likes \034*really good* Quidditch players.\035 Thus, her repeated overtures to get Harry to come with her to events might partly be to explore and deepen her friendship with him, maybe even to see where else it all goes.\n\nAs we noted in Part 1, she had made a tentative invitation to Ron to come to Slughorn\031s Christmas party in a moment of anger. But that blew up in her face, leading Harry to finally show her a little attention by encouraging her to come to a party with him, then to seek her out after she witnessed the spectacle with Ron and Lavender. (Important note: I\031m not denying that Hermione had implied *some* romantic interest in Ron at some point, but using that as the *only* explanation for everything that happens below strikes me as not only overly simplistic, but also rather unlikely given all the details.)\n\nIt\031s now Harry\031s turn to start showing interest in spending more time with *her*.\n\nLet\031s again for a moment forget the supposedly \034obvious\035 interpretations of all these events and consider the text from a fresh perspective.\n\n# 1. Library Liaisons\n\nHBP15:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Hermione\031s schedule was so full that Harry could only talk to her properly in the evenings, when Ron was, in any case, so tightly wrapped around Lavender that **he did not notice what Harry was doing**. Hermione refused to sit in the common room while Ron was there, so **Harry generally joined her in the library, which meant that their conversations were held in whispers.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWe see Harry here seeking Hermione out: following her to the library in the evenings and sharing whispered conversations with her. If Hermione previously wanted to get a little more time with Harry, she must have been thrilled to have more of his attention alone.\n\nHow long did this last? The chapter implies that it was going on at least for a few weeks since Christmas decorations went up. But it\031s quite likely it went on longer, possibly for 4-7 weeks.\n\nI don\031t want to get too bogged down in JKR\031s weird calendar issues, but the last date reference we have is the trip to Hogsmeade and the incident with Katie Bell, which happened \034halfway through October\035 (HBP12). The Herbology class where Hermione and Ron hint they may go to the Christmas party together happens only three days later. (Yes, this is securely dateable using the text: Hermione was apparently talking to Harry and Ron about a party a couple months in advance. She does indicate Slughorn is trying to schedule it around Harry\031s schedule.) Only \034a few days\035 after that pass before Harry works up to inviting Dean to take Katie\031s place (HBP14), and the match where Ron snogs Lavender afterward happens later that same week. Thus, using real-world calendar dates, the most likely date for the birds incident with Ron is probably November 2nd. If we\031re generous with the \034few days\035 lapse and Harry delaying filling Katie\031s spot, we could push it a week or two into November. Slughorn\031s party doesn\031t happen until December 20th.\n\nThus, likely for well over a month, Harry \034generally\035 joined Hermione in the evenings in the library. This is a larger chunk of time than I think readers realize, when Harry and Hermione are spending time alone having whispered conversations together. Also, note the curious wording in that passage that \034\\[Ron\\] did not notice what Harry was doing.\035 Pause and think about why that detail is included. *What* was Harry doing? It\031s not like Harry was doing wacky things in the common room that Ron was ignoring. No, the only thing Harry was doing was apparently sneaking off in the evenings to spend time alone with Hermione.\n\nWhy the connotation that Harry\031s actions were hidden from Ron here? I don\031t think Ron had any illusions that Harry wasn\031t trying to remain friends with Hermione. It\031s not like in PoA when Ron\031s belligerent exchanges seemed to pull Harry away from her too. So, again, why does the text mention that Ron didn\031t notice \034what Harry was doing\035? (Note it\031s specifically Harry here, not just a general reference that \034Ron didn\031t notice anyone else around him\035 or \034didn\031t notice anything happening around him\035 because he was preoccupied snogging\024Ron specifically doesn\031t notice *what Harry was doing*.)\n\nCould it at all be related to so many moments in HBP where Ron had acted jealous or suspicious of Harry and Hermione\031s time together, the way they are acting around each other, the way he said \034oh\035 and \034stopped short\035 upon coming into a classroom where they were alone together? I don\031t know, but it\031s yet another odd detail that slips into the wording here. A few of these things might be coincidence, but eventually you have to start to wonder if there\031s a pattern.\n\nAnd obviously H/Hr enjoy their time together sometimes too, as we get this bit a little later as they\031re leaving the library (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Harry:\\] \034It\031s not my fault she\031s barking mad, Hermione. Or d\031you think she overheard you being rude about Filch? I\031ve always thought there might be something going on between them&.\035 \n> \n>**\034Oh, ha ha&\035** \n> \n>**Enjoying the fact that they could speak normally again, they made their way along the deserted, lamp-lit corridors back to the common room, arguing about whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThey\031re laughing and joking with each other, with a kind of banter that is a bit different from what we\031ve typically seen with them before. But it\031s not surprising when they\031ve been spending so much time together lately. (Sidenote: I don\031t think this means anything, but I find it amusing that the two of them are sharing a joke about two people who may be \034secretly in love with each other,\035 particularly given the context we\031ll dive into now.)\n\nThis conversation happens on the day before Slughorn\031s party. Earlier in the library, Harry tries bringing up Ron (as he wants them all to be friends), but Hermione pointedly says she doesn\031t really care about that. Instead, she immediately shifts the conversation back to Harry, sharing her concern and telling him about the love potions other girls are apparently trying to use on him:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione:\\] \034I\031m talking about earlier. I went into the girls\031 bathroom just before I came in here and there were about a dozen girls in there, including that Romilda Vane, trying to decide how to slip you a love potion. They\031re all hoping they\031re going to get you to take them to Slughorn\031s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George\031s love potions, which I\031m afraid to say probably work \024\035 \n> \n>\034Why didn\031t you confiscate them then?\035 demanded Harry. **It seemed extraordinary that Hermione\031s mania for upholding rules could have abandoned her at this crucial juncture.** \n> \n>\034They didn\031t have the potions with them in the bathroom,\035 said Hermione scornfully. \034They were just discussing tactics. \\[...\\]\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHarry has a valid point here. Why is Hermione not taking further action about this? Her response doesn\031t quite explain things either: surely if it\031s against the \034rules\035 to use or possess love potions, she could have done more than just alert Harry.\n\nWhat could cause Hermione to behave in such an \034extraordinary\035 manner? Or, perhaps she *did* take some other action in reporting something (she doesn\031t say), but her warnings to Harry are still quite strong. Is there something else going on with her about all of this, something she wants to emphasize to Harry is rather dire, so he *needs* to take some action? What action specifically? Well&\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione:\\] "As I doubt whether even the *Half-Blood Prince*\035\024she gave the book another nasty look\024\034could dream up an antidote for a dozen different love potions at once, **I\031d just invite someone to go with you**, that\031ll stop all the others thinking they\031ve still got a chance. It\031s tomorrow night, they\031re getting desperate.\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHere\031s where things get particularly odd, and it brings up the main point of this essay. At this point, why wouldn\031t Harry literally say something like what he does in the movie?\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry: Well I just thought seeing as neither of us can go with who we'd really like to, we should go together. As friends. \n> \n>Hermione: Why didn't I think of that?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOr why wouldn\031t Hermione suggest that? Oh wait\024perhaps she *does*? Re-read that last passage. Who is \034getting desperate\035? Just the fangirls? Who would like to \034stop all the others thinking they\031ve still got a chance\035?\n\nIs it at least *possible* that Hermione\024the girl who hinted at least four previous times that she wanted Harry to come with her to Slug Club events, the girl who has spent the past month or more now having whispered conversations with him in the evenings\024might be again hinting (like Cho did) to this clueless boy that he could *just ask her*?\n\nUnfortunately, the clueless boy in this instance merely says this in reply:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034There isn\031t anyone I want to invite,\035 mumbled Harry \\[...\\]\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThis response makes little sense when Hermione is literally standing right in front of him. I don\031t think Harry\031s intending to insult Hermione by saying this; he\031s just so dense he\031s not even seeing it as a possibility. (Or maybe there\031s another reason he doesn\031t consider her, which we\031ll come back to.)\n\nYes, Harry\031s trying to hide his newfound interest in Ginny from Hermione here. But Hermione is the person Harry frequently goes to hang out with at parties; why would it not occur to him to just bring her as a friend? If we had some sort of internal monologue moment where Harry thinks, \034Oh, I could ask Hermione, but then maybe Ron would get angry&\035 or something, maybe we\031d have an explanation. But he doesn\031t think about this at all. And why would Ron get angry about the two of them going as friends when Harry\031s been spending so many evenings alone with Hermione\024unless Harry really *has* been sneaking out so Ron doesn\031t realize that? And is Harry conscious that Ron is feeling jealous of them? It\031s all quite weird.\n\nThe movie writers saw this *obvious* loophole in the plot and plugged it by having Harry and Hermione actually have a friendly conversation about it.\n\nSo why don\031t they have this conversation here? And why does Hermione hint at it *again*:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Hermione gave him a \034what-did-I-tell-you?\035 look over her shoulder. \n> \n>\034No thanks,\035 said Harry quickly. \034I don\031t like it much.\035 \n> \n>\034Well, take these anyway,\035 said Romilda, thrusting a box into his hands. \034Chocolate Cauldrons, they\031ve got firewhisky in them. My gran sent them to me, but I don\031t like them.\035 \n> \n>\034Oh\024right\024thanks a lot,\035 said Harry, who could not think what else to say. \034Er\024I\031m just going over here with&\035 \n> \n>He hurried off behind Hermione, his voice tailing away feebly. \n> \n>**\034Told you,\035 said Hermione succinctly. \034Sooner you ask someone, sooner they\031ll all leave you alone** and you can\024\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOnce again, Harry is running after Hermione, seeking *her* out, and what is her response? That\031s *six* times Hermione has hinted to Harry. **SIX TIMES!** Even if she just wants to spend time with him as friends, it\031s difficult not to read so many statements like this as hints to Harry. Even after a girl (like Cho) kisses Harry, he still can\031t figure out when she\031s hinting at him, so perhaps this shouldn\031t be surprising to Hermione.\n\nI *know* there are other ways to read this, and generally people don\031t assume Hermione is hinting anything to Harry. But can we really ignore it after all of her previous hinting at going to Slug events *and* the fact that Harry seems weirdly paying much more attention than usual by spending so much time alone with her now?\n\nMeanwhile, there\031s no indication Hermione\031s taking McLaggen yet at this point. The fact that she doesn\031t even reveal that until the next day seems to indicate it was likely a last-minute decision; if she invited him earlier, one might expect she\031d be rubbing it in Ron\031s face for days or weeks. (Again, that\031s assuming that\031s what her real aim is.) And why *not* invite Harry, then, as Ron\031s been acting jealous around H/Hr? Heck, Hermione\031s statement in that last quote is interrupted because Hermione spies Ron and Lavender in the common room: why not pointedly ask *Harry* at that very moment, to annoy Ron? It\031s so bloody obvious! If there is *truly* nothing between her and Harry, but she *knows* Ron has repeatedly acted jealous around the two of them, this would be the perfect opportunity to suddenly act super-sweet and affectionate to Harry (someone who is safe! Not like McLaggen!) and drive Ron nuts, instead of only passive aggressively suggesting the next day that she likes \034*really good* Quidditch players.\035 The whole setup is there already\024she and Harry have been spending so many evenings whispering alone\024and it\031s so much more believable (thus potentially much more hurtful to Ron) than the idea she actually had any interest in McLaggen.\n\nIf JKR really was trying to show us Harry and Hermione were not interested in each other, that would be the *perfect* way of finally demonstrating that, as Hermione would have to explain, and Harry would have to think about how it\031s ridiculous Hermione was going to such lengths and behaving stupidly when H/Hr obviously weren\031t interested in each other. For that matter, having them deliberately go to the party as friends could also have been a great venue to indicate they were only really friends. So many missed opportunities, if JKR\031s only goal was to make Ron jealous and show H/Hr aren\031t romantic& and yet instead *everything just gets weirder*.\n\nStepping again away from the question of what was intended or not, there are simply so many odd details to this whole situation that it leads you to wonder if something else is going on. Is there a reason Harry seems to be noting Ron\031s distracted and not noticing what he\031s doing by heading out with Hermione in the evenings? Is Hermione perhaps hesitant to outright ask Harry to the event because maybe she wants to see if he\031s interested, that maybe their time together means something that neither of them is quite willing to bring up directly?\n\nAnd I\031m just going to throw this out there, but if we buy into any of this, is it a potential alternative explanation for some of Hermione\031s frustration and behavior around the potions book? The two of them always keep talking to each other throughout the book. So could her frustrations at Harry\031s cluelessness (even while he repeatedly keeps seeking her out and is spending a lot of time with her, thus giving her very mixed signals, even if unintentional) be bleeding over into her occasional annoyance with him? I know, it\031s reaching& but it feels like an actual potential explanation for her behavior, which is otherwise a bit odd in HBP (as many people have noted).\n\n# 2. Harry\031s Hammering\n\nWhatever we think about the potential for deeper feelings, it *must* have occurred to Hermione that she and Harry could have gone to the Christmas party together, given her previous hinting. Did it occur to Harry?\n\nWe don\031t get anything specific in his internal monologue about it. But he definitely doesn\031t want to know that Hermione might be inviting Ron (or McLaggen). Let\031s go back to that scene in Herbology (HBP14):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe then begins to pound the pods so hard he breaks a bowl.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry missed the pod, hit the bowl, and shattered it. \n> \n>\034*Reparo*,\035 he said hastily, poking the pieces with his wand, and the bowl sprang back together again. The crash, however, appeared to have awoken Ron and Hermione to Harry\031s presence. **Hermione looked flustered and immediately started fussing** about for her copy of *Flesh-Eating Trees of the World* to find out the correct way to juice Snargaluff pods; Ron, on the other hand, looked sheepish but also rather pleased with himself.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThis is odd behavior on the part of both Harry and Hermione. We know Hermione has been hinting to hang out with Harry. But now that she tentatively invited Ron, Harry\031s acting quite weird and extreme\024causing her to become \034flustered\035 and start to fuss. Why?\n\nWhy would Hermione act flustered about this, if she was just proposing going to an event as friends with Ron? Or, even if she thought it might turn into more, why would she be *flustered* around Harry about it? Why would she even think Harry was upset or acting out about her and Ron, instead of *just assuming Harry just had an accident* and broke a bowl?\n\nWhat\031s going on that even causes her to have a reaction to him at all?\n\nHere are a few possibilities we might consider:\n\n1. Hermione is embarrassed that Harry knows she and Ron could go to the party together, and that implies something might be happening between them. This might seem the obvious choice, until we recognize that they\031re sitting right next to Harry, and she wasn\031t previously trying to hide her interaction with Ron. (She was speaking \034angrily\035 to him, not quietly.) And would she really think that\031s something they would keep hidden from Harry, whom she also hopes will go to the party?\n2. Hermione actually does have some confusing feelings for Harry. Maybe she isn\031t pursuing them actively or isn\031t quite sure what she wants. But nevertheless she feels awkward when she realizes Harry is likely interpreting her action as interest in Ron, and she feels weird about that. If we also believe she was hinting at going to Slug events with Harry before, there\031s an additional layer of awkwardness that she might now have alienated him.\n3. Hermione thinks Harry might have some feelings *for her* that he wasn\031t expressing openly. (Perhaps she noticed him getting flushed at her \034fanciable\035 comment.) And now he\031s acting out, so she *makes the assumption* this is because he\031s annoyed at the possibility of her and Ron being together.\n\nWell, option #3 is actually true, at least to some extent. Harry is annoyed at the idea of the two of them, and he has a long internal monologue thinking about it. Granted, it\031s not specifically focused on Hermione, but we know he\031s worried about losing bits of their friendship and feeling \034shut out.\035 (Sidenote: isn\031t it interesting then to see which one of the two Harry suddenly seems to start spending more time with after this scene, given his concern? Harry specifically seeks *Hermione* out in deliberate fashion so much over the next few months, which is not always his typical behavior.)\n\nWe don\031t know about #2, but Hermione has several times expressed interest in spending time with Harry (perhaps only as friends, but still). And it makes sense she\031d feel at least a bit awkward that now things are shifting toward Ron.\n\nSo why *is* Harry getting so worked up here? It\031s hard to believe that he thinks Hermione and Ron will completely abandon his friendship with them if they get involved. Harry\031s actions seem a bit extreme if this is only about friendship& and Hermione\031s reaction is a bit interesting given that it requires her to recognize Harry\031s \034accident\035 was potentially saying something about his feelings. As usual, the two of them are attuned to each other closely.\n\nAlmost immediately after this scene, two things occur that radically shift Harry\031s behavior: (1) the chest monster for Ginny erupts, as if he was feeling uncertain and started to project desire onto someone else (isn\031t it weird that it happens *right after* this scene and Harry\031s long internal monologue??), and (2) Harry begins seeking Hermione out at almost every opportunity, following her whenever he sees her leave a room, going to the library with her, etc.\n\nThis has to be a confusing time for both of them. If we didn\031t have the prejudice against Harmony, wouldn\031t we assume that Harry suddenly hanging out with Hermione so much might *mean something*? Like maybe, after what happened with Ron, he might even be working up to asking her to the party? But perhaps, after seeing Ron and Hermione interact, he assumes he may have missed his chance with her\024or that she wouldn\031t be interested in going with him anymore?\n\nOnce again we\031re left with the mystery of why H/Hr never talk about that option in the book. Clearly, Harry has some confusing feelings about this whole situation. So what *does* he do?\n\n# 3. Harry\031s Hesitation\n\nIn fact, the day of the party, Harry chases after Hermione *yet again* when Ron makes fun of her (doing an awful imitation of her in class), and Harry comes upon Hermione with Luna. It\031s like there\031s something on his mind, but he freezes (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione\\] raced out of the classroom on the bell, leaving half her things behind; Harry, deciding that her need was greater than Ron\031s just now, scooped up her remaining possessions and followed her. He finally tracked her down as she emerged from a girls\031 bathroom on the floor below. She was accompanied by Luna Lovegood, who was patting her vaguely on the back. \n> \n>\034Oh, hello, Harry,\035 said Luna. \034Did you know one of your eyebrows is bright yellow?\035 \n> \n>\034Hi, Luna. Hermione, you left your stuff&.\035 \n> \n>He held out her books. \n> \n>\034Oh yes,\035 said Hermione in a choked voice, taking her things and turning away quickly to hide the fact that she was wiping her eyes on her pencil case. \034Thank you, Harry. Well, I\031d better get going&.\035 \n> \n>And she hurried off, **without giving Harry any time to offer words of comfort**, though admittedly he could not think of any.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLuna then only manages to get a couple sentences out before this happens:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034How would you like to come to Slughorn\031s party with me tonight?\035 \n> \n>**The words were out of Harry\031s mouth before he could stop them; he heard himself say them as though it were a stranger speaking.** \n> \n>Luna turned her protuberant eyes upon him in surprise. \n> \n>\034Slughorn\031s party? With you?\035 \n> \n>\034Yeah,\035 said Harry. \034We\031re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like& I mean&\035 **He was keen to make his intentions perfectly clear**. \034I mean, just as friends, you know. But if you don\031t want to&\035 \n> \n>**He was already half hoping that she didn\031t want to.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHermione has hinted so many times to Harry about Slughorn\031s events in general and at least four times explicitly about the party. (That\031s even more times than Cho had to try to get through his thick skull.) Harry had just rushed after her yet again, then seemingly wants to say something but she rushes off too quickly. And then suddenly, this pops out of his mouth, seemingly inexplicably. It happens so suddenly that he\031s immediately trying to pull back, to make his intentions clear, hoping Luna actually says no.\n\nWhy would he hope Luna said no? Hermione told him if he wants to avoid the love potion nonsense, he should just do something like this& and now that he has, *it\031s all wrong*. And why did it pop into his head *at this moment*, right after *Hermione* left? Was it already in his thoughts? Was he really seeking Hermione out all this time because he likes spending time with her, something he actually then *does* at Slughorn\031s party?\n\nWe\031re not told explicitly, but if all of these scenes played out from another character\031s POV, wouldn\031t you come to the conclusion that Harry was starting to show interest in Hermione, and was working up to asking her? We assume we\031re getting a mostly complete sense of Harry\031s thoughts in his internal monologue, but clearly *something* is driving him to pay much more attention to Hermione than usual, and as readers we\031re not explicitly told why.\n\nBut then why does Harry hesitate? Maybe for the same reason Hermione hesitates\024perhaps because it *wouldn\031t* just be as \034just friends\035? It would potentially *mean something*: be another step, be an acknowledgement that Hermione has really wanted to get closer to him, that their compliments to each other since the beginning of the year might be hinting at more than just normal friendship, that Harry broke a bowl in class not just because he was worried about Hermione and Ron, but because he specifically is worried that Hermione\031s interest in *him* might shift away or lessen.\n\nI\031ll freely admit this is reading a lot between the lines. Not so much for Hermione (who I think is *quite clear* that she\031s interested in hanging out with Harry a lot and would gladly spend time with him, go to parties with him, etc.). But as readers we expect to understand Harry\031s POV given bits of his internal thoughts that are described in the books. However, we also know for certain these thoughts aren\031t complete. For example, later in HBP, Harry and Ginny manage to have a complete *relationship* that\031s barely depicted in the books\024only referenced later when Harry reminisces at BIll and Fleur\031s wedding about all those times he spent with her \034in lonely parts of the school grounds.\035\n\nIf JKR can leave out of Harry\031s POV basically *an entire relationship* that is supposed to be about soulmates connecting for the first time, can we reliably say that she might not be giving us \034the whole story\035 here about why Harry\031s acting strangely?\n\nThe implication there is that Harry and Ginny\031s relationship and feelings were explored much more than we as readers got to see. What else is going on with Harry and Hermione in all the evenings they\031re spending alone in the library in HBP? I\031m not at all suggesting they\031re actually involved or dating, but given what we see of them flirting and joking in the many passages early in HBP, shouldn\031t we assume similar things are happening during all of this time? Something\031s happening with them, and Harry\031s behavior around Hermione has become much more attentive. Again, if we as readers only saw Harry\031s actions and statements and behavior (and weren\031t worried about lacking information in his internal POV thoughts), what might we conclude?\n\nCan it at all be a mere coincidence that almost the moment Hermione invites Ron and Harry nearly destroys things in class, he suddenly has this \034chest monster\035 erupting and driving him elsewhere? Does he *need* a distraction from the confusing dynamic around his best friend, the one who now finds him so \034fanciable\035 and is excited about sharing the Prefects\031 bathroom with him?\n\nI don\031t like to go too far down this route, because it\031s postulating too much about Harry\031s feelings that are going unexpressed. But his behavior is *new* and *different* and *odd*. (Harry is even confused *himself* when the invitation to Luna spills out of his mouth!) There are so many peculiarities that it should lead readers to wonder what\031s going on with him.\n\nGoing back to Hermione, only *after Harry has secured a date* (with Luna) does she finally appear to turn to McLaggen. This is at least partly intended to annoy Ron (as Hermione later outright admits), but the timing is interesting. In the movie, Hermione reveals she has some \034secret\035 guest which is why H/Hr can\031t go together, but it never comes up in the book. And (as I noted above), why would Hermione wait to reveal this information to the last moment when she could be taunting Ron with it?\n\nIt\031s possible of course that she\031s so upset with Ron\031s behavior *that day* that she finally snaps and decides to get some sort of revenge on him. I know people think that Hermione is trying to make Ron jealous in order to get him interested, but is that really a reasonable interpretation of Hermione\031s actions here? Do we really think Hermione is so masochistic and has such disdain for herself that after being treated awful by Ron for days after she first tentatively offered an opportunity to go to the party, then humiliated by Ron snogging another girl in front of everyone, then driven out of the common room *for six weeks* by him acting outrageously enough with her that it annoys other people too, that now she\031s going to suddenly attempt to woo him back by annoying him with McLaggen?\n\nIn what universe does any of that make *any sense*? Perhaps she might do it just to annoy him or aggravate him (which she frequently does elsewhere in the books) or as a sort of revenge. But it obviously doesn\031t even work in drawing Ron\031s attention. Ron barely seems to act differently around her and continues to date Lavender for *months* afterward.\n\nOn the other hand, someone else *definitely* steps up and notices. The \034fanciable\035 boy, the one who has been having whispered conversations with her for the past month alone in the evenings, the \034really good Quidditch player,\035 the one Hermione always wanted to go to Slug events with\024well, he\031s the main one who *finally* displays some emotion about her.\n\n# 4. H/Hr at the Party\n\nHarry and Hermione obviously don\031t go to the party together as each other\031s date. But, as we might expect based on their previous behavior, they do end up seeking each other out. For the umpteenth time, Harry\031s focus is pulled completely away from everyone else just by a *hint* of Hermione (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034I\031m definitely not interested,\035 said Harry firmly, \034and I\031ve just seen a friend of mine, sorry.\035 \n> \n>He pulled Luna after him into the crowd; **he had indeed just seen a long mane of brown hair disappear** between what looked like two members of the Weird Sisters. \n> \n>\034Hermione! Hermione!\035 \n> \n>\034Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOnce again, a glimpse of Hermione\031s hair is all it takes for Harry to rush after her, and Hermione is overjoyed to see him, as if she really only wanted to spend time with him and was actively looking for him. (\034*There you are*&\035)\n\nWhat is his reaction, though?\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034What\031s happened to you?\035 asked Harry, for Hermione looked distinctly disheveled, rather as though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil\031s Snare. \n> \n>\034Oh, I\031ve just escaped\024I mean, I\031ve just left Cormac,\035 she said. \034Under the mistletoe,\035 she added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her. \n> \n>\034Serves you right for coming with him,\035 he told her severely. \n> \n>\034I thought he\031d annoy Ron most,\035 said Hermione dispassionately. \034I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole\024\035 \n> \n>\034*You considered Smith*?\035 said Harry, revolted. \n> \n>\034Yes, I did, and I\031m starting to wish I\031d chosen him, McLaggen makes Grawp look a gentleman. Let\031s go this way, we\031ll be able to see him coming, he\031s so tall&\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLet\031s look at the dialogue tags here, as they tell the whole story. Does Hermione seem particularly worked up about Ron (or McLaggen for that matter)? No, she merely notes \034dispassionately\035 that it might annoy Ron, as if she didn\031t even care about that element very much.\n\nBut Harry on the other hand is reacting *quite* passionately\024talking \035severely\035 and \034revolted\035 at the idea of her going out with other guys. And is Hermione really being truthful here? Would McLaggen actually annoy Ron \034the most\035? If it was meant to do something, it has little immediate effect on the Ron/Lavender fiasco. Yet who is responding *most* to what Hermione has done here? It\031s not Ron. Who is the boy who has been chasing her around the school for the past six weeks?\n\nHarry\024the \034really good\035 Quidditch player she obviously likes in some fashion\024is the one who is responding to all of this, not Ron. It\031s often said that Harry and Hermione show no concern when the other dates other people, but that\031s obviously not true. It\031s very clear that Hermione finally got Harry worked up about that, right here. (Not to mention Harry breaking things in Herbology.) Meanwhile, Ron\031s treating her like crap and is off snogging Lavender continuously, so Hermione\031s actions make no sense to attract him. People claim Hermione\031s therefore OOC, but is this just part of a slightly different scheme to judge how *Harry* views her?\n\nIf we step back and realize Harry\031s POV isn\031t always a completely accurate reflection of events, as it\031s told through his interpretation, **a potential realistic interpretation of pretty much the ENTIRE first half of HBP isn\031t that Hermione\031s trying to feel out things with Ron. Rather, it seems, she\031s been trying to cultivate more interest** ***from Harry*****.** \n\n**And** ***it\031s working*****.**\n\nWho does she get to spend time in the library with for weeks? Who does she actually get to spend time with at Slughorn\031s party? It\031s Harry. He then gets *particularly close to her* to have a private conversation:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Under cover of her furious criticisms of Firenze, **Harry drew closer to Hermione** and said, \034Let\031s get something straight. Are you planning to tell Ron that you interfered at Keeper tryouts?\035 \n> \n>Hermione raised her eyebrows. \034Do you really think I\031d stoop that low?\035 \n> \n>Harry looked at her shrewdly. \034Hermione, if you can ask out McLaggen\024\035 \n> \n>\034There\031s a difference,\035 said Hermione with dignity. \034I\031ve got no plans to tell Ron anything about what might, or might not, have happened at Keeper tryouts.\035 \n> \n>\034Good,\035 said Harry fervently. \034Because he\031ll just fall apart again, and we\031ll lose the next match \024\035 \n> \n>**\034Quidditch!\035 said Hermione angrily. \034Is that all boys care about?** Cormac hasn\031t asked me one single question about myself, no, I\031ve just been treated to \030A Hundred Great Saves Made by Cormac McLaggen\031 nonstop ever since\024oh no, here he comes!\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSo far, Hermione had been excited to see Harry. It\031s almost as if she had hoped to draw him out at the party (as she has in the past), to make the clueless boy her *de facto* date anyway. And, if we\031re to be honest, Harry is closer to being her \034date\035 at this party than McLaggen: Hermione seems to enjoy spending more time talking alone with him.\n\nBut notice what happens at the end here. After excitement to see Harry and rather measured responses about the whole Ron business, she responds \034angrily\035 when Harry *wants to talk about Quidditch*.\n\nShe then immediately compares Harry\031s conversation *to her date\031s*, as if she expected Harry to be a better companion. And she gets annoyed that \034boys\035 always just want to talk about Quidditch. What *else* does she want Harry to talk about? About her? About the things they maybe whisper sometimes about in the library? The implication here is that Hermione is annoyed that *Harry* isn\031t acting like a good date, being self-absorbed and talking about Quidditch, just like her actual date that she\031s trying to avoid.\n\nCan it be any clearer that Hermione wants something different from Harry, something that he\031s still being too clueless to pick up on? After the \034fanciable\035 boy who thinks she\031s the \034best in our year\035 became flushed and smirked at her, she hinted at least six times she wanted him to go with her to things, and here they are\024FINALLY!\024at the party with him \034drawing closer to her\035... and all he wants to do is talk about bloody *Quidditch*!\n\nCan you blame her for getting frustrated with Harry? Do we perhaps now understand why she storms off completely (not just dodging McLaggen), and Harry barely gets to see her before they head off the next day on Christmas holiday?\n\n# 5. Conclusion\n\nBack when GoF first came out, the supposed undeniable \034proof\035 of romantic interest between Ron and Hermione was the Yule Ball fight, where Ron got upset about who Hermione was dating and she responds angrily and apparently storms off because Ron didn\031t seem to prioritize her feelings.\n\nLiterally the exact same scenario just happened above. Why then shouldn\031t we draw the same conclusion about Harry and Hermione?\n\nI don\031t have space here to explore how their dynamic plays out in the rest of HBP after this incident, but it\031s all quite interesting (and may be a topic for a future essay). Unlike Ron and Hermione, though, H/Hr never really alienate each other. One begins to then wonder if Hermione\031s growing frustration in the remainder of HBP with Harry isn\031t just about the potions book, but the fact that he *continues* to be oblivious and finally seems to abandon his attentiveness to her to pursue Ginny. (Petty disagreements are supposed to be rock solid proof of sexual tension for Ron and Hermione, so why do we immediately dismiss their significance for H/Hr in HBP, especially given the context I\031ve noted?)\n\nRegardless, even though Harry and Hermione can\031t figure out how to ask each other to be a date for the party, they still seek each other out at the party and have meaningful contact together. There are many strange and unexplained dynamics going on throughout the first half of HBP, but one thing we definitely can say is that Harry and Hermione are not alienated here. If anything, they\031re closer than ever, spending a lot of time alone together, with Harry finally stepping up and being a better friend to Hermione, rather than his previous tendencies to stay closer to Ron. What else we might want to read into these dynamics is of course up to the individual reader.
## 34 My girlfriend[24F] and I [23M] have been in a relationship for just over 6 months. However, she gets real jealous over the fact that I have other female friends, and it has started several arguments throughout the relationship. \n\nMost recently like 5 days ago, I told her that when my best female friend[22F] from high school will be coming to town to visit on the 11th to the 17th, and I would probably go to the gym with her when she comes into town. \n\nThis started a huge argument. She said all these things like \034why can\031t you just go this one time without seeing her\035 \034so you\031d rather hang with her than me\035 \034she\031s probably all you think about when she comes to town huh?\035 Type stuff. Even though I only see this friend of mine 2 or 3 times a year, it has been a problem both times she has visited since our relationship began. \n\nI told her straight up, she can either acceptant/tolerate me having female friends, or she can leave me. She chose the latter. I guess she expected me to beg for her not to leave but since I didn\031t do that, she began bawling and saying I didn\031t care. It\031s not that, it\031s just I won\031t drop any friends of mine for a girlfriend. \n\nMy GF came back to me that same night. But ever since that night, I haven\031t felt the same. I don\031t really want to see her(haven\031t seen her since that fight) and I have no urge to text her anything all day. I can\031t get myself to believe this jealousy problem will ever change. She might be able to hide it this one time, but I feel like deep down it won\031t change. She has a problem with every one of my female friends. I know that\031s a red flag, but I was trying hard to make it work, but part of my feels like it won\031t. \n\nShould I just end things now, or tell her that my feelings have subsided because of the argument? Or what should I do??\n\n**IMPORTANT EDIT**: I should add that about 3 weeks ago while I was using the restroom I caught my girlfriend snooping through my phone looking at my female friends messages. I was NOT okay with that one bit.
## 35 Mods, I can't find flair on my post. I'm ambivalent to advice. I just wanted to get it off my chest. \n\nCW death/dying\n\n\nPlease forgive formatting, i am on mobile. First time poster.\n\nAlso, you don't have permission to use my pain for your gain. Nope, nada, nie\n\nHi! I'm Boo and I have a narcissist JNSIL. \n\nTechnically, she's a fan after 21 years of wishing me dead, starting trouble, swiping illnesses to have them worse, emotional incest, and much more. \n\nThere's a phrase I heard here the other week. Bride at every wedding, corpse at every funeral. \n\nI finally blocked her on my phone tonight. \n\nMy MIL is rapidly declining. We knew this was coming after my BIL passed away. She gave up then. My husband and I just faced it and chose to keep going. \n\nWe didn't mention anything on our social medias out of respect of my MIL wishes as well as JNSIL behavior around BIL passing away. \n\nApparently, asking for thoughts, prayers, whatever you can send meant I was asking for money. \n\nSo, tonight JNSIL calls us to tell us MIL may not make it til Sunday. We were out at the grocery store. Once we got home, my husband and i created a joint post to ask for prayers for his family. Mainly him dictating, me typing it up. Signed by him, me, Spawn 1, Spawn 2\n\nI copied and pasted the post to his FB page. I have the majority of his family blocked other than some FM on mine. \n\nLess than an hour after the post went up, she called him three times. No VM, no text. Knowing he works third shift and was likely asleep. He attempted to call back and she ignored him. \n\nI blocked her then on my phone while on the phone with him. Once the dust settles, I'm done. They have his and Spawn 1's numbers. I'm no longer a meat shield or whipping person. \n\nIt should have never came to this.\n\nBut a narcissist will always narcissist. \n\nSorry for length, typos, or formatting issues. Hugs (consensual) and support freely given to all.
## 36 I told you about how I ran away when she asked to kissed in my previous post. A month later or two, we were sexting hard. For some reasons she deleted all of her own texts and kept mine. Next morning her brother saw her phone, and only my side of texts. And you know pretty much what happened next. He called my parents and, then my elder brother scolded me hard. My mother slapped shit out of me. And next day I went with my brother and bois and beat the crap out of his brother and showed him complete conversation. And we didn't talk after that at all. To this date, I hate her the most. Sometimes I want to grab my grade 304 18/8 stainless steel bottle and beat the shit out of her head, as she is in my class. But in 11th I started dating someone better, someone very much fun and its been great from past 2 years.
## 37 WARNING: This is gonna be a post where I talk about my personal experiences and how I went through and ended a relationship as an avoidant. It will be long. Feel free to skip this one if you\031re mostly interested in broader or more theoretical discussions about attachment theory or the avoidant attachment style. If you feel the need to share your own story after reading mine you are very welcome to do so. Consider the comment section as a safe space. If you have any insight or constructive criticism about my behavior, I will gladly read it.\n\nSomeone recently made a post about being able to form relationships with some people and not with others and it made me think about the \034relationship\035 in which I acted the most avoidant I ever have (let\031s call it relationship for lack of better words, even though it was very far from being a traditional committed relationship). I never really shared this story with anyone, and since I\031ve been planning to finally talk to my therapist about it, I thought it would be good for me to collect my thoughts write them down. \n\nI met a guy, in January 2021. We matched on a dating app, despite him living in another country. In hindsight it\031s crazy to think that all of this was born out of a random glitch. We spent 2-3 months texting constantly and developing a very strong mental connection. We were both aware of the challenges that our situation presented, but the quality of our conversations and the romance of finding each other and getting together \034against all odds\035 (distance, covid, lockdowns etc) were stronger. We spent every free moment we had talking and getting to know each other. Maybe I was even beginning to feel an emotional connection towards him at some point, but then he had a very busy month, during which he was also meeting with a lot of other girls, and in that time I ended up distancing myself altogether. I honestly don\031t know whether it was a defense mechanism or I just naturally lost interest in him since I wasn\031t getting those high quality conversations anymore - the thing about him that attracted me the most. Either way, I told him that I no longer felt the spark and that it was better not to talk anymore. Afterwards, I went no contact.\n\nHe tried to text me a few times but I never replied. A month later he sent a very long message about how nobody could compete with me even though we had never even met in person, and that somehow breached my wall. I got close to him again. We met a couple of months later, for the first time. We went on romantic trip to Barcelona together. It tested my avoidance massively as, among other things, I usually hate sharing the bed with someone else, but I managed. I really really liked him. And here we get to the part of the story were my avoidance pops up and ruins everything.\n\nUpon coming back from Barcelona I started freaking out and sabotaging this relationship very hard. To avoid getting emotionally close to him (I think? Not sure what my reasons were really), I slept with other people, and when he asked me about it I told him the truth, which hurt him. At that point he was under the impression that we had become exclusive, but in reality we had never had that conversation before so I told him he shouldn\031t have expected that from me. I went radio silence for a few days when he moved to NYC because I couldn\031t handle the fact that he would be there for the whole year. He forgave me both times. In the following weeks I started oscillating between \034caring a lot\035 and \034not caring at all\035, I tried to escape countless times but there was something that kept me from staying away for more than a few days. He always managed to convince me to stay. Honestly, he triggered me so much it wasn\031t even funny, to this day I have never met anyone else I was so compatible and incompatible with at the same time. There was an insane physical attraction/sexual tension that bonded us and also a strong mental connection, as I\031ve already mentioned. But emotionally speaking it was a total mess, mostly because I was all over the place: I refused to discuss the state of our \034relationship\035 or even call it a \034relationship\035; I refused to discuss anything related to my feelings; I rejected his feelings - actually I couldn\031t even believe that he had any feelings for me, my sick brain thought it was all a joke or a lie in order to trap me and/or hurt me; I consistently failed to meet his needs, both intentionally and unintentionally; every time he asked me questions such as \034why do you even want to be with me\035 I would freeze and change topic. And yet, I couldn\031t push myself to leave once and for all as I\031d always done before. The roller coaster of emotions literally made me feel sick, I started having a lot of stomach issues around that time. I want to be clear here, he never displayed any abusive or disrespectful behavior. He was a great guy all around. This is entirely on me. His expectations were legitimate, after all he was a mostly securely attached person and wanted normal things that a securely attached person would have no problems providing. Unfortunately, he had demons of his own and he was strongly drawn to my dysfunctions. He was convinced he could \034somehow\035 save me from myself. \n\nAnyways, to cut it short, around Christmas he was meant to come back to Europe and I was planning to go visit him during the holidays, but he ended up catching covid and then I caught it myself. I couldn\031t make it to his country. Of course he spent the weeks he was here reconnecting with his family and friends, which meant that he didn\031t talk a lot to me. And what did I do once again? I took the opportunity to distance myself, build another wall to keep him out and engage in more meaningless sex and random hook ups. We had a lot of arguments around that time as well. The situation was stressing me out enormously, I hated the way he triggered me, I hated the person I would become when he was around, I hated how he could be so open with his feelings while I struggled so much. I could never really express how I felt to him. Being with him was a constant reminder of how damaged I am, it was like being forced to face everything I hate about myself all the damn time. He nullified every progress I was making in therapy, but make no mistake, he never did anything wrong. This failure is mine and mine alone. Meanwhile my stomach issues were the worst they had ever been: constant heartburn, pain, reflux, throwing up.\n\nOne day he got fed up with my behavior and we had a long conversation where I also told him about my health problems and how stressed out I was. I told him I couldn\031t deal with the fear and the feelings of inadequacy and defectiveness. I told him that ever since Christmas I hadn\031t felt the same attraction anymore, maybe I had finally succeeded in distancing myself. He said he wouldn\031t have stopped me if I had tried to run for the nth time.\n\nThat\031s what I did, a few days later. Never replied to his last messages. He never reached out again. One whole year and it ended like this. But I couldn\031t have done it any differently, I needed to get away both for my mental and physical health. I was constantly living in the \034fight or flight\035 mode, I felt like I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and this \034relationship\035 was negatively impacting me in ways that I can\031t even describe. I did it to protect myself, from myself. Coincidentally, my stomach has gotten so much better ever since I cut him off. I don\031t regret doing it, I genuinely believe we\031re both better off this way. \n\nIt\031s been two months. Not gonna lie, I think of him every day. I am not mourning the loss of what we had though. He probably was the closest I ever got to having deep feelings for someone, but this showed me how much work I need to do, with or without therapy, in order to be able to have a healthy relationship with someone. It showed me all of my limits. In the end, I know I did the right thing. I can only hope that, while attempting to save myself, I didn\031t hurt him too much
## 38 **Unbiased DD on HYMC**\n\n**Mining Background:** Hycroft mine was formerly known as the CroFoot Lewis Open Pit Mine. This mine began operations in 1983. From *operational* inception in 1987 to 1998 the mine produced 1m ounces of gold and 2.5m ounces of silver. Low gold prices in the late 90\031s forced the mine into \034care and maintenance\035 programs. Then in 2007 Hycroft restarted the mine and in 2008 began operational activities. From 2008 to 2015 the mine was actively operational. Then, in 2017 the mine was again placed into \034care and maintenance\035 when it stopped adding lime to the leach pads. Care and Maintenance activity was continued through 2018. Activities were then restarted in late 2018, early 2019, with a small crew of only \034six haul trucks, two hydraulic shovels and one wheel loader\035. Initial production spanned from Aug. 2019 to November 2021 when Hycroft ceased operations.\n\n**Key Mining Takeaways:**\n\n· Viable mine with proven resources\n\n· Recurrent pattern of discontinued operations\n\n· Known sources of ore from 30+years of drilling\n\n· Like all mining operations, activity is heavily dependent on economic value/feasibility of mining the ore\n\n**Company Background:** Hycroft Mining Holding Corp. \023 formerly known as Mudrick Capital Acquisition Corp. \023 was formed in 2017 \023 and owns the Hycroft Mine\n\n**Company Arrangements:** *Sprott Credit Arrangement*\\*\\*:\\*\\* Hycroft entered into an arrangement with Sprott Private Resource lending and established a senior secured credit facility up to $110m. This agreement also prohibits HYMC from distributing dividends\n\n**Company Ownership:** As of March 31, 2022, Mudrick Capital Management LP, (\034Mudrick Capital\035), 2176423 Ontario Limited, an entity affiliated with Eric Sprott (\034Eric Sprott\035) and American Multi-Cinema, Inc. (\034AMC\035) owned approximately 12.4%, 11.9% and 11.9% of our outstanding voting securities, respectively, and have the right to acquire 13,308,529, 23,408,240 and 23,408,240 additional shares of common stock, respectively, upon the exercise of warrants held by them\n\n**Pit Information:** Open Pit mining w/ heap leach processing \023 fancy terminology for \034using a series of chemical reactions that absorb specific minerals and re-separate them after their division from other earth materials\035. Resources are contained in oxide, transitional, and sulfide ores. **Currently Hycroft has no ongoing commercial mining operations or sustaining revenue from the care and maintenance processing operations currently conducted.** The mill and Acid POX (pressurized oxidation) process remains the focus of ongoing work, as it generates higher gold and silver recoveries than the sulfide heap oxidation and leach process.\n\n**Resources and Expansion**: Any expansion of the Hycroft Mine necessary to exploit any additional mineral resources that may be established through Hycrofts exploration drilling program beyond the mineral resources in the 2022 Hycroft TRS, **will require Hycroft to obtain all permits, approvals and consents of regulatory agencies responsible for the use and development of mines in Nevada. (LENGTHY PROCESS)**\n\no **Measured and Indicated Mineral Resources**: 9.6m ounces of gold, 446m ounces of silver\n\no **Inferred mineral resources**: 5m ounces of gold, 150m ounces of silver\n\no In the 10-k there is no mention of a *proven mineral reserve or probable mineral reserves* because there is no actual mining taking place\n\n**Financial Information**\n\n· Net loss of $88.6MM vs 2020 Net Loss of $136MM\n\n· Gold Rev increased more than 2x\n\no Mine had more ore under leach\n\n· Silver Rev increased more than 3x\n\no Mine had more ore under leach\n\n· Company continues to process gold and silver ore on the leach pads but does not expect to generate net positive cash for the foreseeable future\n\no Total projected sources of future liquidity decreased by 4x from 2020 to 2021\n\n· There are numerous debt covenants surrounding the Sprott Credit Agreement\n\n**Final Takeaways**\n\nCompany is at least 2-3years away from a commercially viable operation and has all sorts of funky credit/debit covenants with gold investor Eric Sprott, who just so happened to purchase 12% of shares, who also receives a royalty from smelting action and who has publicly ridiculed short sellers. To the moon? I don\031t know. But I\031ve got 15 C 4/14exp at 4.00\n\n&#x200B;\n\n# EDIT:\n\n# Because I've read some comments on ore quality I wanted to paste this snippet and hopefully someone can help explain what I am reading... Does this graph show that there is only .008 ounces/ton of gold in this sample ? \n\n&#x200B;\n\n[https:\\/\\/www.mining.com\\/web\\/making-the-grade-understanding-exploration-results\\/#:\\~:text=GOLD&#37;3A&#37;20One&#37;20ounce&#37;2C&#37;20or&#37;20roughly,tonne&#37;20is&#37;20usually&#37;20economically&#37;20viable.](https://preview.redd.it/iu52xjw2ubr81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=e74a35e1113ccbe3569e2f4c7eaab260abf677b5)\n\nFrom HYMC 10-k:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[AU OZ\\/TON](https://preview.redd.it/7kjlg9zmubr81.jpg?width=1732&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f83e652b4861ad83a6a364cdbafff4ff95e4bb4)
## 39 I've seen a lot of discussion about what Cultivation's chess game is all leading towards, grooming Taravangian, Dalinar, and Lift to take up the three rosharan shards, but I noticed an interesting line when listening to the RoW audiobook that could indicate an alternative. In the conversation between Cultivation and TOdium (bold is mine):\n\n>T: They showed you this possibility, I assume, but it isn't nearly as ... certain as I imagined it. It shows you things that can happen, but not the hearts of those who act. How did you dare try something like this? How did you know I'd be up to the challenge? \n> \n>C: I didn't, I couldn't. You were heading this direction - all I could do was hope that if you succeeded, my gift would work. **That I had changed you into someone who could bear this power with hono**r.\n\nYeah, it's written in lowercase, but Brandon does give events and dialogue (like Evi's name) from how the PoV character hears or interprets it. In the audiobook as well, the "with honor" part is HEAVILY emphasized as being capital H Honor. This is immediately followed in text by Taravangian realizing that there is a flaw, or loophole, in the deal made with Dalinar. Instead of Dalinar, could it be Taravangian that would take up the reforged shard of Honor? The deal was made between Dalinar as the representative of honor and Odium. If he is no longer Odium, but War, the deal would be broken.\n\nEDIT: Another line, from the same page as the quote and notice of a loophole. \n\n>But he did know of his predecessors plans, and had access to some of his knowledge. So Taravangian knew the the cosmere was in chaos. Ruled by fools. **Presided over by broken gods.**\n\nAnother possible indication that it could be Taravangian, instead of Dalinar (if anyone), who would desire to reforge Adonalsium.
## 40 My name is Mark, I've been a detective for ten years and I've seen many things that would keep the most grizzled man up at night. Last night my partner Terry was murdered in the interrogation room and.... I don't know how to feel about it or how to start.\n\nSo a month ago Terry and I were givin orders to check out a murdered couple a few miles away. It was strange off rip. There were no signs of forced entry or even a struggle. The stiffs died at the kitchen table still holding hands with a plate of French fries and a half eaten burger. They were young, like really young early twenties at the latest. There were two holes in the back of their heads indicating they were executed.\n\nTerry: Ayo Mark! Do you see this?\n\nTerry points to the heads of the kids.\n\nMe: Yea, they were executed why?\n\nTerry: Isn't it a little odd they didn't have an exit wound?\n\nMe: Low caliber pistol like a .22 maybe.\n\nTerry: We better just let the coroner run an autopsy on them to be safe.\n\nMe: This isn't first time we've seen this Terry but you're right I trust ya.\n\nIn my line of work you have to trust your partner with your life. Terry was the most lovable and honest man I know. When he had a gut feeling ninety nine percent of the time this man was right. Everyone loved Terry, Hell the whole town loved Terry. We packed up and left seeing there were very little evidence at the scene so we let the beat cops clean up the evidence that was there and we headed back to the station. Terry and I sat down to eat lunch and talk about our life. Him and I were very close so we talked a lot.\n\nTerry: Hey man, I got a question.\n\nMe: (mouth half full of a pastrami) what's up?\n\nTerry: Do you plan what you want to do after this? Like when you retire what did you want to do?\n\nMe: Well, I never really thought of that. I've always been in the spur of the moment kinda guy.\n\nTerry: I have a plan. My wife and I will travel the country in an RV just exploring the states.\n\nMe: That sounds awesome Terry. I guess I will just sit at home and watch tv most of my life.\n\nTerry: Well that's the thing bud. My wife and I wanted to know... would you like to come with us? We got a two bedroom RV and everything that I'm ready paying on.\n\nMe: Oh hell yea! I'll bring my fishing gear and we can all just have a blast then.\n\nWe talked about this a little longer. Martha and I were old friends from high school and I met Terry when she introduced me to him. We were friends ever since. We went to the academy together, trained together and Terry even took a bullet for me once.\n\nAfter I was done eating Terry and I were filing out our paper work when suddenly the chief came in and asked us two to come into his office. The chiefs name was Ervin was a tall man but the biggest teddy bear there is. Once we got in we sat down in his leather chairs. He had a wax burner on and it smelt like maple wood and honey suckles, this was my favorite wax smell too.\n\nErvin: Alright guys.. you know the bodies you checked out today? Well the coroner came back and there holes weren't bullet holes.\n\nTerry: Haha I knew it Mark! You owe me fifty bucks\n\nMark: I knew I shouldn't ever doubt you.\n\nErvin: Guys this is serious.. The holes were drill holes. The drill was 1/4 inch but the strangest thing is the brain was missing large amount of mass. Whoever killed this couple is a sick fuck. I called around and asked the couple towns over and they said they had a similar incident with another young couple. So we may be dealing with a serial killer.\n\nTerry: Fuck...\n\nMe: Jesus christ...\n\nErvin: Don't let anyone in the public know about this. We don't want widespread panic and we don't have any leads at all. But here's the other case file so compare and contrast the two.\n\nTerry and I in unison: On it chief.\n\nWe both walked out and began working on this case. We spent all night at our desks looking for possible suspect around the tri state area. But we didn't make any connections. Who ever this guy was covered his tracks perfectly. Not a clue left at the scene of the crime or anything noting who they were. He was a professional...\n\nThe next day I got into work and Terry was there talking to Jennifer who was also a detective. Kind and young woman. I had a bit of a crush on here but my job was so demanding I never had time to ask her out.\n\nTerry: Heyo Mark! Jenny here made some breakfast bratwurst with eggs and pork. These are amazing Jenny thank you!\n\nMe: Sweet! I'll try one.\n\nJenny: Hey mark (Jenny said with a smile on her face) We haven't spoke in a while. Maybe after work tonight we can go on a date and I don't know ... watch a movie\n\nJenny was visible blushing and I can tell she was nervous. My heart was racing and was beating out of my chest..\n\nMe: Uhhh sshh...sure\n\nTerry: Atta boy!\n\nMe: So I will swing by and pick you up around 6pm tonight?\n\nJenny: (visible happy and even a larger smile) Hell yes! I mean... uh that's a great time.\n\nI grabbed a bratwurst before she left and skipped down the hall like a school girl. She always been a bit childish but when it came to work she was such a hard worker and had an immense focus to her. I kinda fell in love with that..\n\nTerry: Hey markkkk. You're blushing bro.\n\nMe: Wha.. what, no I'm not... shut up\n\nWe both laughed and began talking about our night. While we were talking the chief came by and said that there was another report. Another young couple but this time they were in their own bed. We got to the scene and as usually nothing was out of the ordinary except breakfast in bed was Ketchup with eggs.\n\nTerry: Oh gross! Who eats ketchup with eggs...\n\nMe: Well it really ain't that bad. I tried it a few times\n\nTerry: Well damn, guess we can't be partners anymore\n\nMe: Oh shut up dork.\n\nThe couple were older then the last and again their names will be spared from this. But both were male and bout early thirties. Same thing happened here, drill holes in the back of the skull that was 1/4 in and smooth. I have a hard time believing these two men would just lay there and let this happen. Terry spoke up..\n\nTerry: There is no way someone would just let them get drilled in the back of the head. These men here were pretty fit. I mean his muscles are larger then mine.\n\nMe: I was thinking the same thing... What could it be...\n\nTerry and I: The eggs!\n\nWe quickly put on gloves and poured the eggs into a medical baggy so our lab to run tests maybe find a type of poison. We quickly got back and noticed a pattern we didn't see before. They all were eating food in the morning.\n\nTerry: I know this is new but we should totally name this killer a funny name\n\nMe: Oh shit! Yea, uh what about "The Breakfast Bandit"\n\nTerry: ooo ooo ooo how about "The Meal Monster"\n\nMe: No no no "the cravings killer"\n\nTerry: That's the one!! Condiment Killer it is!\n\nWe joked a bit while we waited. I know it seems heartless to joke about this since people died but in our line of work we see dead people all the time. It's doom and gloom 24/7 here. So any bit of light and any bit of hippieness we can get we take. I digress, the forensic team radioed us to come to them since they did find something. The person who was lead of the forensic team. Young kid named Llyod. Smart and shy but knows a lot of things that I don't understand like science and math.\n\nLlyod: Good.. you guys I did find something in the eggs it is ethylene glycol. A sweet tasting poison that's oderless and colorless.\n\nMe: Well, how does one even get ahold of this? We can cross examen who has purchased this stuff.\n\nLlyod: Well that's the issue. Ethylene glycol is found in antifreeze however the ethylene glycol we found was extremely concentrated.\n\nTerry: Well, I guess we will just cross examen who bought anti freeze and see if anything matches up.\n\nMe: Well I hope not many people needed antifreeze this month.\n\nA lot of people needed anti freeze last month... It took over 50 hours and 6,000 people to narrow down. We spent the next week questioning everyone on the list and it still.... got us no where. We got to our desks on a Friday night feeling defeated. While were waited Jenny came to us and asked.\n\nJenny: Hey you guys I know it's been rough, soooo I made you guys some meat pies. These are my grandmas recipe.\n\nMe: Thank hun! You're amazing\n\nTerry: Oh yea you are!\n\nOne of the worst nights I have ever had but the food she makes is so good it's sinful. Moments later the chief came in and asked to speak to us in private. So we walked into his office and we sat down to talk. This time he had some Seabreeze scent, not my favorite but still good.\n\nChief: So we were told there was another killing same MO however..... the were flayed like livestock it's a mess.\n\nMe: What.... It's the same then?\n\nTerry: Dear god.... who would do this?\n\nChief: A sick fuck... Just can you go out there and do your thing... I need to rest.\n\nWe got to the site and when we go out of the car we could smell it. Rusty iron filled the air as we entered the home. To our right was the living room and you can tell this one hurt... There were blood on the floors and walls and some viscera hanging from the ceiling. It looked like a fuckin' bear attack. We got to the kitchen and I had to run out of the house to vomit. I cleaned my face, caught my breath then got back in.\n\nThere was a body (at least what is left of the body) strewn across the kitchen floor. Body parts were all over the place however there was not any signs of struggle again. Closer look at the skull shows the 1/4in hole in the base of the skull. Something about this sent chills down my spine it just seemed demonic in nature... I cannot stand the smell in here. I can taste the blood in the air. \n\nTerry: Hey Mark.. I found something \n\nMe: What's did ya find? \n\nTerry: A pen.... but its from our precinct this may have been an accident... however whomever did this would know we are investigating this... We need to keep this to ourselves we don't want anyone to know in case we can finger the suspect. \n\nMe: Yes... Put this in a bag I will text the Chief. We can trust him \n\nTerry: My stomach is telling me he's safe\n\nAs per usual the scene was clean other then the one we found. No prints and no evidence just blood and gore. We got to the precinct and started the paper work. The chief came by our desk and asked if we found anything. I looked around and whispered\n\nMe: We found a pen that's from our precinct with dried blood on it. Perhaps the person dropped it while lifting the body or moving it. \n\nTerry: We sent the food found into forensics team to check it out too. \n\nChief: We must keep this on the down low. Only we may know this. \n\nI have to preface this, Jenny and I got serious like very serious.. She moved in after the 3rd date and we've been love birds since. I got home and Jenny instantly jumped on me to welcome me home. \n\nJenny: Hey Babe I missed you! \n\nMe: Missed you too love. It's been a hard day at work and I can't figure out who is doing these. \n\nJenny: Well. Any leads? \n\nMe: I found something.... at the scene but I haven't seen anything else?\n\nJenny: Wait... what was it? \n\nMe: I can't say but it's nothing special to be honest. \n\nJenny: Well guess what! I got you a special dinner! Meat loaf, you know your favorite. I even added a homemade ketchup to the top. \n\nMe: I'm not hungry I've been elbow deep in blood and viscera all day. \n\nJenny: Oh I understand. I'll save it for Terry\n\nWe got to bed and cuddled. My brain kept me awake fearing who in the site was the killer... who could've done such a sick and twisted act. My mind was racing and spinning and with all the stress I ended up passing out. I had a dream that night it was strange but could've been relevant to the case. \n\nIn my dream I woke up in a white room. It was illuminated with a soft glow but it was bright enough to fill the room. On the floor was a thing layer of water that was so still it looked like a mirror. This room stretched infinitely on all sides. I decided to walk through the endless expanse and after a certain amount of time the water started to turn black like ink. The whole room expanded in this black ink and a cold chill ran up my spine. I shapeless figure rose from the black ink and stood there. Shortly the ink was removed and revealed a white demon like creature with elongated arms with thin lips. This thing has no eyes and holes for ears. It opened it maw to speak \n\nThe Void: I am the void... I am the end.... I am starving... Your story is delicious... \n\nIt walked closer and my fight or flight was completely shut down and I was frozen still. It got closer and shoved it's sharp and nasty fingers into my collar piercing my flesh and lifting me up until I was facing it face to what ever the fuck it had. \n\nThe Void: hahahaha your fear is ecstasy ... keep being afraid child.. I will become strong enough to invade the throne of heaven... usurp the angels .... for I have seen the throne of god and he has abandoned you.... \n\nIts mouth opened wide and slowly started to fit it around my head... and CHOMP. I felt its rotting teeth piercing through my flesh. It's serrated edged teeth sliced my neck muscles inch by inch... I was trying to scream but all I could do is gurgle the blood lodged in my neck... I can feel his hands pull down on my body and my neck was stretching until I hear my muscles pop as the tendons made a sick snapping sound. \n\nThen I woke up in a cold sweat... I grabbed my neck and .... it was ok.. The dream felt so real... like I was killed in real life. Jenny saw me while she was getting dressed. \n\nJenny: Hun are you ok? You were crying in your sleep and said my name?\n\nMe: Yea.... it was just so real .... its ok I'll be ok\n\nJenny: Well let's get to work and I'll bring my meatloaf. \n\nWe got everything together and headed off to work. I kept thinking who could it be... who was it? I got to the station and was talking to Terry who was smashing the meatloaf Jenny made. I still felt nauseous from last night so I opt out of it. We were all filing paper work when Jenny asked\n\nJenny: Hey.. I seemed to have lost my pen... Can I borrow one of yours?\n\nMy heart sank... It can't be her... please god anyone but the person I love..Terry got up and handed her his pen. I texted the chief Jenny didn't have her pen and he told us to detain her NOW. So I stood up and nodded to Terry and he nodded back knowing what must be done. The chief walked in as we were arresting Jenny. \n\n Jenny: Babe what is going on?? \n\nChief: Jenny.... we have suspicion you are the Condiment killer.\n\nShe went without saying a word. During interrogation Terry walked in and I watched from behind the glass. \n\nTerry: Jenny why? Why do this\n\nJenny: I don't know I was just.... obsessed with death.. I can't stop thinking of it.. \n\nTerry: What did you do to the bodies... How did you poison them. \n\nJenny: Well the poison was easy to do... I just mixed it in with their condiments like mustard or ketchup etc. I then take the brains and mix it with my recipes. \n\nTerry: Wait you're telling me?\n\nJenny: yes... you and Mark and the rest of this place were eating people HAHHAAHAHAH\n\nShe began to laugh evilly. It sent chills down my spine and made me physically sick... how could someone do this.. We ate humans... god save us. \n\nTerry: I think this is... done.. \n\nTerry paused to catch his breath. \n\nJenny: Let me ask you something.. Terry. If you had ketchup that was a little to sweet and tickled your tongue would you stop eating? If you ate chicken wings and the hot sauce made your the back of your throat burn in an unusual way... would you question it.. \n\nTerry: (coughs up blood) yo...you bitc...\n\nJenny: Tell me Terry, do you know what poison tastes like \n\nI started to run and open the door as fast as possible.. It was locked so I was fumbling my keys.... I was so scared to lose my best friend... my partner.... By the time I got in there Terry was foaming at the mouth and convulsing... Jenny was still laughing... like a maniac... To this day I cannot eat any food unless I made it... I lost everything because of that bitch... Please, check your food because you don't know what poison tastes like.
## 41 Wolfeye has been regularly posting updates about the next patch to the [Weird West discord](https://discord.gg/WeirdWest), so I just wanted to list them here in case folks wanted to see if a particular bug they've been having has been fixed. I also organized it into categories so it's easier to find specific ones.\n\nNote that this may not be fully reflective of the final version of the patch. They may add more fixes or some may be removed as they continue working on it. From Wolfeye: "Our strategy is to release smaller but more frequent updates so you guys dont have to wait a month to get fixes and tweaks/changes."\n\n**Patch 1.01 (Release Date TBC - Current Target is: April 11th latest)**\n\n**Quality of life improvements**\n\n - You can now access your Companions and Horse inventory directly from the Shop UI to resell items directly from their inventory\n - Added an option so that player can transfer all junk items at once from their inventory to a companion, horse or container inventory\n - You can drop items from your inventory when browsing containers/NPCs inventory and opening your inventory side panel\n - Wanderers now also buy Junk Items to give more opportunities to resell such items while on the road\n - The game now cycles through 5 Auto Save Slots instead of 3, so you can more easily backtrack through save files if needed\n - Improved throwable weapons (eg dynamites etc) throw arc and speed so they are easier to use in combat and can easily be sent through door frames etc\n - Decreased HOLD time on Scrap Weapon interaction to be standard HOLD interact time to make it less annoying to scrap multiple weapons in a row\n - [GamePass] Game Pass PC Build now uses 10 Manual Save Slots like on Xbox (up from 5) so it matches for Save Roaming between both platforms\n - [Console] Added VIBRATION Option to Consoles to enable/disable Controller vibrations\n\n**Softlock fixes**\n\n - [Journey 01] Fixed issue where in rare cases, >!Essex Mast in Quickbend!< does not follow up with his blocking conversation when you free him, resulting in an objective blocker\n - [Journey 02] Fixed >!Canker and Fighting Pit Sigil!< being wrongly destroyed when using a generic Sigil to access a secondary Temple (the fix is retroactive and if the bug happened already to you, you will re-receive the missing Sigil upon entering >!the Fighting Pit/Canker!< or upon reloading a save in those locations)\n - [Journey 03] Fixed being able to bury companions in >!Olvidado's lair!<, resulting in not being able to access their corpse during the last Journey\n - [Journey 05] Fixed rare blocker bug where >!Pigman Hero would not go to destination!< during a specific objective \n\n**NPC AI**\n\n - Your Horse now stops if it was moving while if you attempt to search their Saddlebags (and Saddlebags wont auto close if they restart moving for whatever reasons, but will still auto close if you move away from your Horse)\n - Tuned distraction noise made by throwing props around so AIs will react to it from further away, allowing player more control over this system\n - Fixed Weapon Shops Guards being pulled to guard banks in Town instead of staying inside the Weapon Shop (also solves Deputies being inside the locked ransacked Bank at beginning of the game)\n \n**Posse**\n\n - The Protector Journey Hero recruited as a Companion will no longer wrongly quit your Posse when receiving friendly fire\n - Companions now auto use bandages they have in their inventory when their health drops below 40% (instead of the threshold being at 25%)\n\n**User Interface**\n\n - Bolt-Action Forester Rifles now have their correct icon in the Weapon Wheel\n - Fixed opening of the Shop UI sometimes wrongly auto selling a random item from Player inventory, if you pressed USE for too long when validating the choice "Browse Goods"\n - Fixed an issue with Keyboard+Mouse where you could not navigate the "Abilities" and "Perks" TAB of the Journal if you had used LMB on any of the Abilities or Perks\n - Fixed the Reputation Notification sometimes displaying a placeholder text\n - Fixed Ability Wheel not showing weapon abilities when having set AIMING to TOGGLE MODE and aiming with your weapon\n\n**Crafting**\n \n - Made it clearer on the Crafting UI which is the item you produce and which are the items needed\n - Fixed crafting of items not dropping crafted item at Player's Feet if player's inventory was full\n\n**Sidequests and Wild Encounters**\n\n - Fixed one of the Heathen Travel Encounters not triggering on a specific story path\n - Made all Bounty Targets Intro Line non blocking so that player doesnt get derailed by a blocking conversation while fighting or sneaking on their target\n - If you return a handcuffed Bounty Target, they only have a low chance of later jail breaking and starting a vendetta against you (was previously 100% when it should have been 15%)\n - Fixed issue with abandoned mine sometimes not being correctly populated with Sirens when using Sirens Scenario.\n - Fixed Easy Prey/Terror on the Trail side quests having their quest item disappearing if you entered the abandoned wagon location and re entered it prior to finding the item \n - Fixed Oneirist leaving location while talking with her about the cursed statuette during the Ritual travel encounter\n - Fixed Sheriff wrongly going hostile during the side quest where they open the cell after being bribed\n - Fixed Tanning Racks in Trapper Camps having nav mesh beneath them which could result in side quest NPCs spawning inside tanning racks and blocking side quest progression\n\n**Journey Specific**\n\n - [Journey 01] Fixed hole in bush area at starting point of Greenwood Run resulting in player getting unfairly detected\n - [Journey 01] Fixed >!finding husband in Bounty Hunter Journey without freeing him!<, and then >!returning to Galen's Crossing and completing local objectives prematurely!<, wrongly completing the Journey\n - [Journey 03] Fixed losing reputation when killing >!Ravenous!< at >!Galen's Crossing!<\n - [Journey 05] Fixed Documents, Relics, Keys, Golden Ace not transferring from 4th to 5th Hero\n\n**Misc**\n\n - Fixed Foliage/Bushes areas in Canyon Location to have less "holes" in them so player does not get surprised detected while walking hidden in the middle of a bush patch\n - Added Loading Hint about Companions not requiring Ammo to use ranged weapons\n - Fixed Rope being removed from player inventory everytime you reloaded into a location where you had attached the rope to a skylight
## 42 This was a long road because of personal experiences and huge interest into the human mind and conditions such as, **Sleep paralysis**, **Out of body experiences**, **Near death experiences**, **Religion**, work of **Mentalists**, **Schizophrenia**, **mental health**, **DMT trips**, **Ancient aliens**, **Ghost sightings**, **Alien abductions and hypnosis**. I've taken all of them into account and they perfectly relate to each other!\n\nWhether people like to hear this, Ancient aliens (Definitely) have something to do with what people used to call Angels, Fallen Angels, spirits, jinn's, ghost's, hybrids, Gods, honoring the stars. The parallels are being overlooked and too much ignored. \nToday we like to call them inter-dimensional beings, time travelers, aliens or hybrids, it maybe sounds more fancy and is true but it comes down with the same parallels.\n\nEver since I saw small electric light orbs near me in my previous house and already had huge interest in Aliens, I went researching this deeper to the point I came across this highly censored guy Dr. David Jacobs, he is a retired university Professor that put real abducted people under hypnosis for over 50 years, so abductees were able to tell what they saw during their encounter. \nHe is a skeptic, non religious, neither believes in conspiracies but looked straight into the world of the paranormal and his work must be acknowledged! \nFor over 50 years he put abductees under hypnotic regression and what they told him happening during an abduction is scarier then any horror movie out there and is understandable why the government doesn't want you to know about aliens, it will cause mass panic! [(Obama hinted at this)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp6Ph5iTIgc&ab_channel=TheLateLateShowwithJamesCorden)\n\nWhen I read his book [Walking Among Us: The alien plan to control humanity](https://archive.org/details/WalkingAmongUs/page/n7/mode/2up) (read first page) it caught me off guard and first thing I thought was ok. we're in trouble! \nWhat he discovered during 50 years of hypnotic regression research, Reptilians and Praying Mantis aliens are in charge of a humanoid hybridization program that take human DNA, seed or eggs or do operating procedures on them during an abduction. \nIf you mix all these 3 beings together you would get a Gray humanoid alien, the plan is to become fully looking humanoid through interbreeding and abduct people to walk among us as humans being able to mind control us like a mentalist. [Derren Brown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU6PqXUe39c&ab_channel=DerrenBrown) would make a very good example of being a hybrid as for [Lior Suchard](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94uO-urSTg&t=187s&ab_channel=TheLateLateShowwithJamesCorden), [Nimrod Harel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg3my7-RsZI&ab_channel=nimrodharel), [Dan White](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q25kn317a2M&ab_channel=TheTonightShowStarringJimmyFallon) and more Mentalist's.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[ Gray aliens are an earlier stage human hybrid.](https://preview.redd.it/lns171dwqbr81.jpg?width=819&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fb4bc2cb0a8225ec64bfa5b05955af9b5ff1902)\n\nI was fascinated that hybrids might be walking among us so did an intense research on the professor's work but could almost find no evidence apart from aliens being inside people's heads abducting them or human hybrids mind controlling people. \nThe only evidence I found of Dr. David Jacobs work are the works of Poltergeist shadows. Sharing visions, alter perception, moving objects with the mind, possess, mind control, talk in the head through telepathy etc. \nI realized after reading so much abduction encounters, that Poltergeist's are shadows without a body, Aliens are Poltergeist's with a body, they both have the same abilities and parallels, they appear to you dreamlike through neurological engagement, both smell like death bodies, smoke, or a foul smell. \nFor instance The Hat man shadow people see during SP would be the real Men in Black.\n\nIn an older post of mine you can read how abductions might work out it proofs we're living in a simulation: [Alien abductions, sleep paralysis and getting an out of body experience (Peter Khoury's case.) : aliens (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/t318av/alien_abductions_sleep_paralysis_and_getting_an/)\n\nIn this post you can see the goal of interbreeding based on real abductions: [https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/rn0iem/drawings\\_of\\_real\\_human\\_alien\\_hybrids\\_seen\\_during/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/rn0iem/drawings_of_real_human_alien_hybrids_seen_during/)\n\nI've gone digging deeper and went with the experiencers, instead of calling them crazy or mentally ill, I started connecting strange dots. I've listened to Schizophrenic episodes of people, Sleep paralysis and DMT experiences. \nPeople also see reptilians during Sleep paralysis and [Mantis aliens during DMT](https://wiki-entities.dmt-vision.net/category/entities/praying-mantis) trips I don't believe in coincidences. \nOld Sumerian religion or Biblical believes talk about Reptilian gods, serpents or Satan being a dragon. Also Locust beings with human faces from the smoke or fallen angels interbreeding creating hybrid offspring's that become mighty men are text from the old Testament.\n\nWhat I suspect is that the elites in power, some of them are from a hybrid alien bloodline and are into the occult doing soul exchange sacrifices where tunnels open from another dimension, most likely a Hellish place, is why [poltergeist shadows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GVUU90aPDU&list=LL&index=35&t=154s&ab_channel=ReallyHaunted) are roaming around waiting for a hybrid body to do his task's among us smelling foul. \nThis post is a bit behind the scenes of what David Icke also is trying to tell but never mentioned the [Mantoids](https://www.google.com/search?q=Mantoids&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiM5JOakPj2AhUN_6QKHUlpCSYQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1707&bih=859&dpr=2.25#imgrc=P7yYLutFVfoYLM) which are the most important ones regarding aliens.\n\nI really recommend to check the links I've added in the post and watch these movies for a better picture: **Rosemary's Baby**, **They live, The fourth Kind** and **Eyes Wide shut**.\n\nIf you need more info, ask me in the comments and I'll answer you with links.
## 43 Well, that was a heckuva way to end the week! Thanks for all of the birthday wishes on what\031s been the most positive day we\031re had since this group has been formed. The fact that the House is taking it up next week is a tremendous sea change from what we\031ve been experiencing for the past year. I promise you: **we wouldn\031t be in this position if it wasn\031t for the hard work and dedication of this group** and others calling/emailing/texting/meeting with their elected leaders. \n\nUnless you were hiding under a rock *(I wouldn\031t blame you)*, the good news is that the House is going to take this up next week. The text of the bill may be found here: \n\n[https://docs.house.gov/billsthisweek/20220404/BILLS-117HR3807IH-RCP117-39.pdf](https://docs.house.gov/billsthisweek/20220404/BILLS-117HR3807IH-RCP117-39.pdf)\n\n\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\n\nA great synopsis of the bill was written and posted here last night by our friends at the IRC, which I\031m copy/pasting below:\n\n*The House Rules Committee, which considers all bills before they go to the Floor for a vote, will meet on* ***Tuesday at 1:30 pm*** *to debate and make a rule for consideration of the bill.*\n\n*Once that is done, the* ***full House will consider the bill as early as Wednesday.***\n\n*At the end of next week, the House is leaving DC for a couple of weeks so* ***it will vote by Thursday*** *on this bill.* \n\n*The bill replenishes the RRF, specifically it will:*\n\n* *Provide $42 billion to fund all unfunded applications already in the portal and the administration of the program*\n* *Require SBA to provide more data and reports to Congress and the public about the program*\n* *Require all applicants still in the portal to certify they are still operating or intend to re-open within six months of the certification*\n* *Direct SBA to have a reconsideration process for denied applications*\n* *Give the SBA leeway to reduce grant size ONLY IF $42 billion is not enough to fully fund every application. We believe this is unlikely.*\n\n*In addition to refilling the restaurant program, the bill would also create a* ***new program for hard hit industries****. This new program would get $13 billion (on top of the $42 billion for restaurants). This new fund would be structured very similarly to RRF. In order to be eligible a business would:*\n\n* *Employ not more than 200 people*\n* *Suffer at least a 40% revenue loss for 2020 and 2021 as compared to 2019.*\n\n*Applicants to this program would be prioritized this way:*\n\n* *First priority to businesses with greater than 80% lost revenue*\n* *Second priority to businesses with more than 60% lost revenue*\n* *Third priority to businesses with 40% or more lost revenue*\n\n*Most of the rules of this new program follow RRF.*\n\n*While it is still very much an uphill battle in the Senate,* ***we have to make sure this bill passes in the House this week*** *with broad bipartisan support to have any chance of success.*\n\n\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\n\n*\034So* u/cjs230*, it seems like we\031re in a pretty good position now&when do I get my money????\035* Au contraire mon frère. We are **BY NO MEANS** out of the woods. While I feel confident it will pass the House, the Senate is **FAR** from a sure thing. Have you heard that we have ten Republican Senators as co-sponsors? I haven\031t. **Let\031s get \030em**. \n\n*\034Ok, got it. What can I do to help??\035* I thought you\031d never ask! Let\031s go over it in bullet point format:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n* We\031re going to focus on the House of Reps today. We need a strong bi-partisan showing in the House to put pressure on the Senate to act. Passing by a few votes in the House won\031t get us there. \n* Here\031s the 234 co-sponsors for H.R. 3807: [https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/3807/cosponsors?r=2&s=1](https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/3807/cosponsors?r=2&s=1) \n* Here is a list of **all House Rep\031s contact info**: [https://www.house.gov/representatives](https://www.house.gov/representatives) \n * You can sort by state or by last name. \n * If your Rep is a co-sponsor, please call them and let them know how much you appreciate their support. If they\031re not, please ask them to vote \030yes\031 for H.R. 3807 next week and save mom and pop restaurants across the country. \n * If they mention that they\031re a co-sponsor or are supporting the ENTREE ACT, H.R. 4568, please inform them that **H.R. 3807 is the bill that\031s being voted on,** there are payfors discussed within the bill, and to please consider moving their support over to H.R. 3807, as that\031s the bill that\031s moving. \n* Please keep things **positive**. We don\031t need any more name calling, heckling, overall negativity. If you don\031t think we\031re gonna get funded and we\031re all morons for attempting to, just tell your mirror how you\031re feeling. If a Senator isn\031t gonna co-sign and you're irritated, just share us the info and we\031ll move on. \n\nSo, should you have to make these calls and emails? No, you shouldn\031t. You should be able to focus on work. But we have to make these calls and emails to maximize the opportunity that has presented itself.\n\nIt\031s taken an incredible amount of hard work to get to this point. Even though this is taking forever, there\031s been a **tremendous amount of bi-partisan support in both the House and the Senate** that has allowed us to get a vote in the House next week. Unfortunately, we need more. \n\nOne of the most important things is **sharing the info you\031ve received**. If it\031s HUGE intel, please create a new post. Otherwise, please share the info as a comment to my daily posts. It keeps things organized and focused so we can work efficiently as a \030street team\031. The next two weeks obviously are going to be massive. It\031s not conjecture at this point: the wheels are turning. Let\031s put ourselves in the best position possible and use all of the arrows in our quiver. \n\nI\031m proud of the group, I\031m so thankful we have a shot at this, and I can\031t wait to visit as many of your restaurants as possible over the next decade! If y'all are in Michigan, you better visit mine! I'll have a 'Replenisher' waiting at the bar for you!!\n\n**LET\031S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
## 44 SA and ED (eating disorder) Trigger warning for farther down.\n\nThrowaway account.\n\nPlease excuse any formatting/smelting/punctuation errors.\n(I left the autocorrect...perfect timing...well played auto-correct goblin).\n\nI apologize for the forthcoming wall of text. I've never been able to share this with anyone who actually gets it. My husband tries to be supportive, it's just not enough sometimes. I need validation from someone who's ridden this particular wave of tears.\n\nI (F50) have been NC with my parents for almost 8 years. I was LC for many years starting as a teen. \n\nJust for some backstory, I was raised in a very Mormon household by incredibly strict parents. There wasn't any physical abuse, such as hitting, but I did find myself pinned against the wall, by my father, a few times while he *quietly* threatened to "knock my teeth out" (or something similar) with his face about 3 inches from mine. I was terrified of him. I absolutely had been "disrespectful" and rebellious, and that didn't make it ok. I was frequently told how disappointed he was in me but that hit a whole new level when I ended up a pregnant teen. This happened after I was hospitalized for an extended period of time in an eating disorder program. That specific hospital stay was after I had been sexually assaulted and stopped eating to cope. Id been told that kids wouldnt be in my future, so the pregnancy was a huge surprise. I married the dad and became a teen bride and mother.\n\nDuring all of this, my mother was "keeping me in her prayers." Emotionally speaking, my mom is...I don't know...words like stunted, surface, and stand-offish. You know, not exactly cold, more like 'you should bring a sweater' chilly. It's like the emotional part of her got stuck at 8 or 9, and her kids had to protect her from the realities of the world. When stuff happened to me, she couldn't even really acknowledge it. She did send me to therapy after the assault, which is to her credit I guess. There was the ED program too, but that was more from my dr insisting on it. After I had the baby, I wasn't allowed back home because "I made the decision and now I have to deal with the consequences." (I can't imagine saying that to my kids, like, wtf?). \n\nIt took a long time to understand that the pangs I have when thinking about her were based on a version of her that I needed as a kid; basically a character I made up. \n\nAfter a divorce, leaving the church, another marriage, and having a few more kids, I went back to church (such a bad decision). Under the guidance of church leaders I tried to reconcile with my parents and siblings. Things were "fine" as long as I was the one being responsible for contacting, helping, and supporting everyone. I'm so sad for then-me, trying so hard to be perfect and find acceptance and love. (If anyone reading this is there right now, I feel you, it's exhausting, *internet hug for support*.)\n\nNo surprise, my mental health was in the toilet. Weird health issues started popping up and I found myself on a multitude of medications, for that and for the mental stuff. I went crazy for a while. Eventually, I stopped the meds, quit the church, dealt with some pretty beefy inner demons. That's when I started having horrible nightmares and weird moments of almost remembering things that triggered dissociative episodes. Slowly, I remembered being dropped of at another lds family's house. They had lots of kids, as well as an adult scumbag that loved to prey on kids. I even remembered telling my mother about it...and she didn't believe me. When I brought all of this up to my parents, that was the last time I heard from them until they sent checks for Christmas, a year later. We'd shredded the checks. My parents showed up out of nowhere, my father aggressively pushing his way into the house and demanded to know if we'd disposed of the checks properly. He furthercdemanded having access to his grandkids. We all hid in our rooms while my husband made them leave. \n\n8 years later, I receive an email from my father titled "an apology." He talked a lot about how he felt bad about the "mistakes he made with me as a kid." Some of it seemed kind of self aware, and I know that change is possible, so I took a chance and wrote back. I let him know that the stuff from when I was a kid was problematic, but the real issues happened 8 years ago. I laid out the timeline of learning about the childhood abuse and them just disappearing and how damaging that was. He replied that they were glad I've gotten help for my mental health issues, but they were always supportive, and I obviously misunderstood what happened...oh and also, they want a relationship with me and my family. I thought I'd prepared myself, but nope, it still felt like a gut-punch. \n\nThat was officially it for me. Never again. I feel so dumb for even hoping...which is infuriating because I *like* the hopeful, optimistic part of myself. \n\nOn to the issue (finally...sorry, I didn't realize all of that was in there). \n\nI have been talking to my siblings more. We're never going to be the "ride or die" gang that we were told we were growing up, but I do love them. I maintain strong boundaries and don't expect much. Also, I try to not care. I've built my own one-for-all gang and it's more awesome than I could have imagined. To get there, it took an enormous amount of work, mostly on myself...seriously, so much. My family had to work on healing as well. I'm really proud of where we're at.\n\nOne sibling has a spouse that maintains fairly LC with the rest of my family. After reconnecting with my brother, she reached out and invited me to her baby shower, where my mother will also be...and my father drives my mother. Easy, don't go, right? I would tell someone else to stay home and be honest about why. I'd say, offer to be there otherwise. That sounds good. \n\nProblem is, this is one of those make-or-break moments. I'm almost positive that if I don't go, that'll make it very difficult to have any kind relationship with my brother and his wife in the future. I don't know if that's even in the cards, but the thought of blowing up that bridge, for good, makes me want to just weep. He's a great guy, even if he's still brain-washed. Maybe he'll manage to also get out and we can connect. \n\nIt seems so stupid to gamble on a maybe. What's my problem? Why is this so hard? How can this still hurt so much?\n\nEdit: words are hard
## 45 \nSo I met her last Friday, we met on a bar, talked and had some AMAZING chemistry, we were (are?) on the same page on LOTS of stuff and did a nice match, to the point were we talked up to 3 AM in the bar\n\nShe asked me to drive her home, I gladly did even tho she lived like 35 minutes away, she didn\031t ask me to come in and I didn\031t either, we\031re in college age and none of us has a place of our own, so hookups with parents literally next room aren\031t really an option\n\nAnd I legitimately had to to work the next day\n\nThen on the next day she messages me first on Instagram, sends me some cute love poems or something and we have a nice chat\n\nI realized she left her sweater in my car and let her know on the chat, she says \n\n\034Oh nice! Perfect excuse to meet up again \035\n\nAnd I told her\n\n\034True, you\031re free on Thursday? Let\031s meet up\035 (This next Thursday, 7th)\n\nAnd she says \n\n\034Yes :\017\035 and replies to me about other stuff we were talking about at the same time\n\nAnd then I reply her to the yes a \034=\001=\001\035 and reply about the other stuff we were talking about and&.\n\nSeen\n\nIt\031s been more than 24 hrs since that seen\n\nAnd here\031s the thing, I WANT to pick her up in her home, I want to drive her to this nice spot I take my dates to, I want to pay her check and drive her back home, I want to give her her sweater back, and she said yes\n\nBut then left on seen and killed the chat herself\n\nMy beta side wants to ask her again, \034sO I\031ll bE piCkiNg yOu Up aT x-time, is ThAt FiNE?\035\n\nBut my other side says \034fuck this, I left the cards on the table, if she wants them she\031ll take them\035\n\nI haven\031t texted her back, I haven\031t double messaged or tried to circumvent the \034seen\035\n\nI want to stand my ground and hope she messages me back\n\nI\031m thinking if she DOES want to meet up and wants to get her sweater back she\031ll message again, and even tho I WANT to message her, I wont, and if she wants to ghost me and literally lose her sweater, her loss, not mine\n\nI want to meet up again because she wants it too, not because I insisted\n\nAm I doing the right thing?
## 46 I have, for the most part, enjoyed the series so far - Rand's struggle with being the Dragon is really interesting, and I like the overall storyline. But the characters are just so, so, *so* stupid, and so much of the conflict in the story seems to arise from their stupidity. (side note - apologies if my spelling is bad, I'm an audiobook listener).\n \nWhy the flying fuck would Rand give his real name when he reached Caihrien? And tell the watch where he was going? And why the hell would he even leave his apartment? He basically has the fate of the world in there with him. Any reasonable person would stay in there all day, every day until their allies showed up, maybe sending Hiren to check for them in the city once a day. But instead they go walking around like they don't have a care in the world, with Rand flaunting his flamboyant dress all the while. He bitches about the coat constantly, and it's the source of the attention on him - why the hell doesn't he just buy a peasant one, or borrow one of Hiren's? This whole sequence was so full of plot induced stupidity it took me out of the book completely. \n \nThen, our four main heroines get told some BS lies by Liandran, and instead of confirming with anybody (KNOWING the woman is antagonistic towards the one sedai they sort of trust) they just happily follow along and let themselves be captured. I am aware of the possibility that Liandran didn't really betray them, and there was something else going on there, but that doesn't change how absurd that was from the girls' perspective. Then during the escape from the Seanchan - after freeing Egwaine, while they're still in her prison room... they just sit around gossiping, like they're back home, instead of getting the fuck out of dodge. And finally, the capstone on the endless series of character stupidity, Egwaine completely needlessly blows up a quarter block of the town just to make sure every Seanchan is aware of them escaping (this is the final straw and what prompted me to make this post so please no spoilers of what happens next!). It just seems like the author is trying to put more conflict into the story and this is the only way he could think of to do so. By the characters being absolute thundering idiots. \n \nAs an aside - I'd like to know if I'm misinterpreting the main villain Ba'alzamon (looked that one up, lol). He shows up periodically, says some generic evil shit ("you will be mine!" "you will serve me!" "you will die!" etc. etc.) and that's pretty much it. He's more or less spent the first two books failing to accomplish literally anything and getting his ass kicked by a few farm boys over and over. I'm having a hard time understanding how I'm supposed to be even remotely intimidated by him. He seems like a generic dark lord prototype, except without any of the fear that they usually produce (like a version of Sauron except Sauron is, like, an idiot). I'm wondering if there's something bigger going on with him for which I should suspend my utter lack of interest in him. \n \nAnyway, sorry for the wall of text. Really, the true problem is that I genuinely like the story - it's really interesting, and when they aren't being absurdly stupid the characters are compelling enough for me to want to root for them. If I weren't into the story as much as I am I would have just dropped the book, and not cared enough to make this post. But I'm hoping someone can give me a reason to overlook all of these problems without spoiling anything. Thanks!
## 47 I was the gen ed teacher for an ARD (IEP meeting) today where the student had gotten 90s in all his classes. Except mine, where he had a 28 (5th social studies). I have no idea how he\031s getting such high grades, the kid reads at a 1st grade level and his writing is completely illegible. He doesn\031t understand basic ELA concepts.\n\nWhy a 28? Because he waits until the last minute to complete assignments, doesn\031t watch the lesson, and guesses on the quizzes (I use a lot of Google Forms because of the ease of importing grades).\n\nI was told privately by an admin that I should give my SPED students at least a 70 because the paperwork and processes for dealing with a failing student is more than I need to worry about. I\031m seeing red about this. It is doing these kids a disservice to just pass them along because you don\031t want to deal with fucking paperwork. They\031re not learning anything by it, and they\031re not going to get a pass on the 8th grade STAAR when they don\031t know the material.\n\nIf teachers did this with my kid, I\031d be livid. My own 8th grader (also a SPED student) is currently failing several classes because he doesn\031t do his work. Ya know what I do? I get on his case and make him do it. I know my kid is smart and capable of the work, he chooses not to do it, and gets graded accordingly. Then he loses privileges until he gets his grade up because that\031s how he learns to do his work.\n\nStop coddling these kids because it\031s too much work to do right by them. And for sure as hell don\031t reprimand the one teacher who is trying to teach them responsibility.\n\nEdit: I want to address some misconceptions here. I did not mention the student\031s accommodations, differentiated instruction, etc., because that\031s not relevant to me being upset with an admin who said to give a higher grade because they don\031t want to do paperwork.\n\nAlso, some in the comments are confusing modifications with accommodations. You absolutely cannot *modify content* unless specifically stated in the IEP, and none of my students have that in their IEP. Meaning you can\031t not teach grade level content. For example, I teach ELAR and SS. I cannot teach only social and community material (1-2 grade) to my students, because my grade level is learning U. S. History.\n\nI can differentiate the *instruction* by providing text at a lower Lexile level as long as it has the same *content* I\031m teaching to the GenEd students.\n\nThe last thing I wanted to address was something I mentioned in the comments but didn\031t want to go into here because it\031s hard to explain: There are three kiddos in my class (him included) who do not receive SS instruction in my class. I\031ve CYA\031d and documented up the wazoo about this. Basically they\031re supposed to get SS instruction from their resource teacher who is supposed to be modifying the lessons. Then they do the assignments and I grade them. It\031s so frustrating.
## 48 Let me preface by saying I love that this community exists. No one wants to be here willingly, but it's so nice to see the support that this community offers one another. \n\nI am 32F with PCOS, AMH 2.08 (seems pretty low for PCOS / age). After 2 years of TTC, 6 rounds of timed intercourse, a missed miscarriage, a hysteroscopy for retained tissue, a chemical pregnancy, and a failed IUI - I am **finally** starting IVF. It's been a long time coming, but....I'm not excited. \n\nI know people have been through situations worse than mine. I know that. But, I am so sad all the time. I'm holding onto a lot of anger surrounding my situation. I have literally no hope going into this IVF cycle. I'm already preparing myself for the failure. I am terrified. \n\nWhile I've been having this already horrible day, I got an unsolicited "We have news to share" text from an old friend and I LOST MY MIND. Literally LOST IT. I haven't been able to stop crying all day. \n\nJust posting this to get it off my chest. If anyone else is losing their mind, know you're not alone.
## 49 Most of the texts here complain about problems they are having with their masks. I started out really motivated to make mine work. Now, about 3 months later I\031ve completely given up. I\031m using a full face mask. I tried the nose option but it was even worse. I wake up with air streaming out of the mask and a mouth so dry that it takes a few sips of water just to get it wet enough to get working again. Please someone post some success stories.
## 50 **TL;DR: Comment if you want me to write a post addressing you by your neos at some unspecified point in the future by which you would've forgotten you even commented.**\n\nSome 20 days ago, our good friend Bunny \024 /u/Cawcaw_mother_fucker cakeself \024 made a post about how much cake enjoys [vanillaself](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/ts47va/worried_about_neos_causing_confusion_consider/) when replying to tryout posts: it seems vanilla gets the warm-and-fuzzies from helping other neopronoun users, and it also finds writing its own little tryout replies to be a very fun creative exercise.\n\nAnd good on xem, [but I feel a bit differently,](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/thkdqf/anyone_else_really_like_using_peoples_pronouns_in/i18go37/) for as much as I want to affirm my fellow neo users just like xe does.\n\nAnd since my own comment on that post ended up being the top one, I feel like there might be some demand for the "random acts of affirmation" it described: tagging somebody like the aforementioned Arrow when warm least expects it, and using warms neopronouns.\n\nBecause as I'm sure most of us have experienced, it can be rather difficult to get others to use our neopronouns. Bunny softself can probably count the number of times soft has been called by softs neos on softs own two hands.\n\nAnd this difficulty of getting affirmed means that a lot of us neo users probably feel a bit ["uchkuduk"](https://youtu.be/Ch7dqP1wrOM), as I like to say: finally getting our neos affirmed feels like drinking from a well after thirsting on a desert caravan for God knows how long. And so getting caught off guard for one of the rarest forms of affirmation? It'll make your day, I'm sure. It's made my own day in the past. Hopefully it'll make Arrow's. Random neo affirmation is the sort of affirmation that might help you get through a tough day, right?\n\nBut aside from this, random neo affirmation can also be more useful form of "pronoun testing" than a simple tryout post. You get to experience how it actually feels to be referred to using a neopronoun, pants down as it were. And you might get to see if a particular neopronoun might be more prone to ambiguity or misinflection than other pronoun sets, or if a pronoun still "sounds right" when it's used not in fill-in-the-blank sentences but in an actual meaningful text.\n\nFor instance, I found while writing this post that the nounselves that Bunny uses for batterself might be more prone to ambiguity compared to batters other pronouns, since most of batters nounselves are based on [uncountable nouns](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/tcwugy/how_do_you_tell_the_difference_between/i0gcjd0/); but batters adjectiveselves tended to be less prone to ambiguity. Not to say that Arrow *shouldn't* use any of pies nounselves for pieself, but these sorts of grammar-y things may be worth keeping in mind if pie wishes to use pies nounselves outside of certain LGBT+ netspaces.\n\nAnyways, the point I'm getting at is that I'm thinking that probably as an opt-in thing, I can try making posts where I just talk about a neopronoun user, using as many of xyr neos as possible. It's free affirmation and pronoun testing; we get to see the different personalities of the neopronoun community; and I get to ramble about neopronouns, as has evidently become a habit of mine.\n\n[And posts would even come with an audio version.](https://voca.ro/1fMPHppwcYCa) Maybe that'll incentivize me to feminize my voice.\n\nHow's that sound?
## 51 I am sixteen and just started going back to school in person at the beginning of this school. I had come out during quarantine and was pretty scared about how my friends would react. But one of my friends (We'll call her M) was a lesbian and had been out for a while, so that made me a bit more comfortable. \n\nThe first thing I thought when I saw that friend on the first day of school was, "Oh shit. I never realized how attractive she was." \nI soon realized I had a huge crush on her.\n\nUnfortunately, it turns out one of my 'friends' (L) was super homophobic. Now me and my severe depression weren't too happy about that. I started barely ever going to school, I would've gotten kicked out if I didn't have an IEP. Anyway, a third friend of mine (A) would tell me every day I was gone how much M missed me because he knew I liked her.\n\nA kept trying to get me and M together and one day M invited me to her birthday party. I told A and he was freaking out, tbh I was too but I was trying to stay cool. The only problem was I couldn't go because I had to go to my cousin's birthday party (I never realized how many people were born in February). I was obviously super disappointed by this, but my mom being the amazing mother she is had a great idea, she said I should take her to the movies.\n\nAbout a week later I told her about this bet I had with my cousin (who is nine btw). I told her if I didn't get a girlfriend within the next three months I'd lose. So she offered to be my fake girlfriend, of course, I agreed. And of course, when I told A he freaked out again.\n\nSo flash forward three weeks, it's time. My mom was driving us because neither of us can drive, which kinda sucked but whatever. First, we got lunch and I paid, then I paid for the concessions at the movie. It literally felt like a date, but of course, I didn't get my hopes up.\n\nWhen we dropped her off at home she asked me to walk her up to the door, which I did. When I got back into the car my mom very calmly said, \n"You two were flirting."\n\nI denied it, at least I denied that she was flirting with me.\n\nThen I had to go to my nine-year-old cousin's house for *her* birthday party. Btw this was a different cousin, I have a really big family. I was texting M this whole time in the car and at the party. I was sitting on my aunt's couch just texting her for a long time.\n\nNow, I'm very lucky that I have a very supportive family. A lot of people in my family are actually LGBTQ. For example, my brother, my nine-year-old cousin, my uncle, my aunt, and my aunt's boyfriend are all bisexual. \n\nSo anyway, soon enough my cousin started reading all the texts out loud over my shoulder, which made her realize that M was only my fake girlfriend. She kept reading and people actually started coming into the room to listen, like they all sat down with their snacks and just listened to this conversation. People would occasionally shout out things for me to say, I mostly didn't say what they told me to though. At one point I told them it wasn't a big deal and she didn't like me, about half the people shouted, \n"She is FLIRTING with you!"\n\nEventually, I told M that my cousin found out we weren't actually dating. I said if I didn't find a girlfriend soon I was going to lose the bet. She said something about us being two of the only openly queer girls in school.\n\nMy mom told me to say, "Well then..." So as a joke I typed that out but before I could delete it my cousin reached over and hit send. I literally threw my phone because I was freaking out. Once my aunt handed it back to me there were another five minutes before I got a response.\n\nWhen I tell you the tension in the room could be cut with a knife, I mean it. It seemed like no one was even breathing till the notification went off and everyone instantly started asking what it said. I read it out loud, \n"Well..."\n\nWe went back and forth saying awkward stuff like "well" and "I mean" until my brother said,\n\n"I swear to god (my name), just ask her out!"\n\nI sent a text that said *Do you wanna be my real girlfriend then*?\n\nAgain, the room was quiet. It felt like forever before the text came through. This time my cousin read it, \n*I mean do you want to be mine?*\n\nI said *If you want to be mine*\n\nThis was it, if I thought it was tense before that was nothing compared to this. Then the text came through, \n*I do, I've liked you for a while now.*\n\nI was silent. I didn't say anything, everyone was staring at me waiting. My cousin took the phone out of my hand and read the text.\n\nThe best way to describe what happened next is probably like how die-hard sports fans react when their team wins a big game. People were going crazy. Screaming, jumping, shaking me. It was insane.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnyway, that's it. Just thought you guys would wanna hear my very gay story that sounds like it was pulled straight from Wattpad. Sorry for it being so long.
## 52 She had a profile picture and was really pretty and just texted me regarding a post i had made. I had never received a random message from a girl that\031s not my friend and i got a feeling of euphoria and it kinda turned me on. Every time i imagine a girl trying to hit on me it gets my blood rushing. \n\nHowever i don\031t think I\031m lesbian maybe just a fantasy of mine, I\031m not sure. I was wondering if this is normal?
## 53 Killing time until v2.0, so I thought I'd show off a new design of mine. Rate my new magneto-plasma era dreadnought, the [Invincible](https://i.imgur.com/cnekKvY.png), built to reinforce my carriers in an ongoing game.\n\nIn text form:\n\n Invincible class Dreadnought (P) 48,000 tons 1,379 Crew 10,063.8 BP TCS 960 TH 2,400 EM 14,280\n 5000 km/s Armour 5-117 Shields 476-571 HTK 311 Sensors 8/8/0/0 DCR 40 PPV 278.68\n Maint Life 2.41 Years MSP 5,241 AFR 461% IFR 6.4% 1YR 1,236 5YR 18,547 Max Repair 600 MSP\n Commander Control Rating 4 BRG AUX ENG FLG \n Intended Deployment Time: 24 months Morale Check Required \n \n Korovin-Kiselyov N800 MP Drive (6) Power 4800 Fuel Use 26.83% Signature 400.0 Explosion 10%\n Fuel Capacity 3,094,000 Litres Range 43.2 billion km (100 days at full power)\n Ström Defence Systems E119/571 Deflector Field (4) Recharge Time 571 seconds (0.8 per second)\n \n Norton-Lamb D12/40 Particle Lance (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 37-5 ROF 40 \n Norton-Lamb D6/15 Particle Beam (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 15-5 ROF 15 \n Norton-Lamb D4/10 Particle Beam (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 10-5 ROF 10 \n Claude Kinetics Twin D3/5 Gauss Turret Mk II (8x6) Range 30,000km TS: 16000 km/s Power 0-0 RM 30,000 km ROF 5 \n Hou R64-S16 Targeting System (2) Max Range: 64,000 km TS: 16,000 km/s 84 69 53 38 22 6 0 0 0 0\n Hou R256-S5 Targeting System (3) Max Range: 256,000 km TS: 5,000 km/s 96 92 88 84 80 77 73 69 65 61\n Marlin-Kamathi S-Fusion 30 (2) Total Power Output 60.7 Exp 10%\n Marlin-Kamathi S-Fusion 15 (1) Total Power Output 15.3 Exp 15%\n \n Medrano Electronics G48 Naval Detection System (1) GPS 4800 Range 51.3m km Resolution 100\n Medrano Electronics G32 Missile Detection System (1) GPS 32 Range 9m km MCR 812.4k km Resolution 1\n Medrano Electronics E8 Sensor (1) Sensitivity 8 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 22.4m km\n Medrano Electronics T8 Sensor (1) Sensitivity 8 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 22.4m km\n\n\nLet me know what you think!\n\nEDIT: for reference, I'm 13 years in!
## 54 I did this & I wanted to hear the stories of other people who may of too, bc I figured other's must've done the same. Can't be the only one to do something so simple with a game of this following, right? Or hopefully not, at least.\n\nFor me, I married Shane because he reminded me of a friend of mine who I had begun missing sorely when I started playing Stardew Valley. The two of us hadn't been friends for roughly a year at that time, and I missed him a lot. He had just come back to my hometown and I was debating reaching out, and after realizing I missed this dude so much I married the mini-pixilated version of him in a video game just to feel like we were friends again, I got the nerve to text him and tell him I missed him. We became friends again, after that.
## 55 It\031s a very hard pill to swallow how much I lack the skills to actually live a decent life. \nI had expectations growing up I wouldn\031t hold too much meaning and my dose of happiness to love but that was just big talk I guess. Maybe cause my home wasn\031t \034lovely\035 or fair, cause that would mean I could detach from the reality I long for. \n\nTo be cared for, to be loved and to not feel scared or doubts by what comes next. To get that family life I didn\031t had. There\031s not really anything that could have compensated that. \nNot the stupid materialistic gifts my parents gave me or my past relationships. \n\nMaybe I did that cause that would mean in my own twisted way I would face reality. Cause truth be told, I will end up getting used by most people.\n\nThere\031s a lot of good fish in the sea but also a strong amount of plastic. \n\nNot to mention sharks and other predators. Have you ever seen killer whales hunt? They play with their prey. \n\nAnd life feels like I\031m the prey surrounding by killer whales in the big ocean. It\031s me, who\031s wrong. I shouldn\031t be thinking that life has so much \034great\035 to offer to me. \n\nI long for your arms that never wrapped around me, those late night talks that never actually got further than texting and to see those eyes I can\031t help but feel drawn to while I want mine to be tucked away. \n\nI don\031t think you understand. \nLife\031s cruel for those who lack. \nI lack too much to give. \nThat\031s what was the ordeal of you not wanting to be with me, isn\031t it? \n\nTell me it\031s all in my head if I\031m wrong. Tell me the pain shouldn\031t be there. Tell me I\031m worth a damn shot. \n\nOr tell me to fuck off or something like that. I\031m used to it. Maybe I need to have the full blown so I can move on. I don\031t know. \n\nTake care.
## 56 #Happy Tuesday, Barkada --\r\n\r\n#The PSE gained 10 points to 7163 ²0.1%\r\n\r\nThank you to everyone that celebrated MB's 9000th subscriber with me yesterday. The back-pats and high-fives feel great, though I still (deep down) feel like I'm just doing the same thing as I've always done: wake up, drink coffee, read disclosures, and write about them. I think the thing that has really changed is the growth of the community around the daily updates. All of the tips, comments, questions, and discussion on Reddit, Twitter, Discord, and Facebook... that's something special.\r\n\r\nThank you to **Gary Manalo**, **Carlos de Guzman**, **Jing**, **MoreDan20**, **Louie boy**, **Chip Sillesa**, **JET**, **Joe Latham**, **Krml #LeniKiko2022**, and **psestocktipsdaily** for the "grats", and to /u/**Kobe24PaulGeorge** for the hilarious suggestion that I should have used a [Vegeta "over 9000!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik) meme... missed opportunities. haha\r\n\r\nThank you, Barkadans, for your support, and for your participation in the MB community!\r\n\r\nShout-outs to Spyfrat's Call, Carlos de Guzman, Gary Manalo, Je Orolfo, G, Joe Gambiste, Jonathan Burac, Pao, Jose Mateo, Stephen Chiong, Joe Latham, psestocktipsdaily, Just\031n, Miguel R. Camus, Palaboy Trader, meloi, Rolex Jodieres, Evolves Capital, Inc., Lance Nazal, Chip Sillesa, and Jing for the retweets, and to Evolves.co and Mike Ting for the FB shares.\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>[In today's MB](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility):\r\n\r\n- **Philex Mining** \034adjusts the timetable\035 of its SRO because of \034\035current market volatility\035\r\n- **Megawide** ready to re-apply for NAIA Rehabilitation project when the administration changes next quarter\r\n- **PLUS:** Quick takes on **ROCK**, **CREIT**, and **MEDIC**\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>[Daily meme](https://i.imgur.com/bY7BxoZ.jpg) | [Subscribe (it's free)](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1&utm_source=mb) | [Today's email](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility)\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Top 3 MB indices:\r\n Hedgy Metal ²2.64%\r\n Fast Food ²2.36%\r\n MiddleClass ²0.97%\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Bottom 3 MB indices:\r\n POGO Gaming ¼1.17%\r\n Connectivity ¼0.68%\r\n Logistics ¼0.55%\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Main stories covered:\r\n\r\n>- **[UPDATE] Philex Mining \034adjusts the timetable\035 of its SRO because of \034\035current market volatility\035...** Philex Mining [PX 5.38 ¼0.92%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=11183ce6783835b03470cea4b051ca8f)], Manny V. Pangilinan\031s copper/gold/silver mining and exploration company, announced yesterday that it will \034further adjust the timetable\035 of its stock rights offering (SRO) to \034a later date\035 because of \034current market volatility\035. PX said that it came to this decision with its issue manager, BDO Capital, to \034ensure [the SRO\031s] success\035. Back in January, PX announced the SRO as a way for it to partially fund development of its Silangan Mine (copper/gold), and PX\031s CFO, Romeo Bachoco, said that, \034This is a significant indication that Philex, as parent company of SMECI and SMMCI, is committed to get this project going.\035 At the time of the original announcement, PX had been in discussions with foreign investors to raise the money but opted for the SRO to signal to existing shareholders, potential investors, and banks that PX \034believes strongly in the feasibility of the Silangan Project.\035\r\n> - ***MB:*** *MVP has head-faked the markets before in order to increase his \034best alternative to a negotiated agreement\035 value while negotiating with foreign investors. It\031s law/business school 101. Most recently was when he threatened to take Metro Pacific Hospitals public back in late 2019, after failing to negotiate a satisfactory valuation for an investment in Metro Pacific\031s [MPI 3.78 ²1.34%] prized business unit with American private equity firms. He filed for an IPO to raise a huge chunk of money, then quickly signed [investment agreements with KKR and GIC](https://www.cnnphilippines.com/business/2019/10/15/Metro-Pacific-Hospital-IPO-plan.html#:~:text=Metro%20Manila%20(CNN%20Philippines%2C%20October,to%20raise%20%E2%82%B135.3%20billion.) and canceled the IPO. Here, while it\031s an SRO and not an IPO, the context of the equity raise is similar: MVP negotiating with foreign parties for an equity raise, cancels the equity raise in a \034table flip\035 kind of move, and then... well, so far we don\031t have resolution for what will happen with PX, but my bet is that those plans still need funding, regardless of how \034volatile\035 the markets are. And I bet PX still wants to signal all those positive things to existing shareholders, potential investors, and banks. I don\031t have any inside info or whisper-wire info on this, but I guess what I\031m saying is that I wouldn\031t be surprised to learn in the coming weeks that PX has signed on a few foreign investors. Again, I don\031t have any special info on this, I\031m just tracking the news against past behavior to see if this pattern fits the established modus operandi of Mr. Pangilinan\031s negotiation style.*\r\n\r\n>- **[NEWS] Megawide ready to re-apply for NAIA Rehabilitation project when the administration changes next quarter...** Megawide [MWIDE 5.20 ²0.19%] [[link](https://www.philstar.com/business/2022/04/05/2172233/megawide-wants-another-shot-naia-ugrade-project)] said that it was prepared to resubmit its unsolicited proposal for the NAIA Rehabilitation project, worth around ±109 billion, \034If the new administration is interested.\035 MWIDE and its partner, India-based GMR Infrastructure Ltd (GMR), originally submitted the proposal in 2020 after the megazord consortium of local billionaires failed to convert its bid into a successfully-negotiated contract with the government. The MWIDE/GMR bid quickly gained front-runner status by being awarded the coveted \034original proponent status\035, but then, later, after some odd bits of messaging from the Department of Finance and the Department of Transportation, the government revoked MWIDE/GMR\031s special status and effectively ignored the bid and canceled the project. Less than a year later, MWIDE and GMR executives were indicted by the Ombudsman in relation to allegations of violating the Anti-Dummy Law in their operation of the Mactan\023Cebu International Airport. That legal process is still on-going and unresolved to this day.\r\n> - ***MB:*** *The rise and fall of MWIDE\031s NAIA proposal was so strange that it almost requires the presence of some mustache-twirling \034vested interests\035 pulling strings behind the scenes to make sense of how or why it could possibly go the way that it went. Who are those vested interests? It\031s hard to say, but it\031s been pretty clear since MWIDE/GMR won that original proponent status that their potential success had caught someone\031s attention. Will that person or group still be in a position of authority when the administration changes after the election? I don\031t know. Will the cases against the MWIDE and GMR executives continue to be pressed once the administration changes hands in a few months? Same answer. For MWIDE to openly discuss the continued pursuit of this project, however, tells me at least that they think a change in administration might dramatically alter the situation behind the scenes in their favor. At least I hope that\031s the case, otherwise, this kind of thing might just attract additional (unwanted) attention. Guess we\031ll just have to wait and see.*\r\n\r\n>- **[NOTES] Quick takes from around the market...**\r\n> - **Rockwell Land** [ROCK 1.48 unch] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=a00266a60a19b7cd3470cea4b051ca8f)] board to spend ±9 billion on capex for 2022 and 2023, more than half of ROCK\031s ±15.3 billion in retained earnings for FY21. The stock is down 38% from its pre-COVID 2019 highs, but it honestly hasn\031t gone anywhere in the two years since the lockdown. It\031s basically at the same price now that it was during the days of the COVID crash. The Lopez Family\031s property development arm just hasn\031t been able to keep pace with its larger peers.\r\n> - **Citicore Energy REIT** [CREIT 2.60 ²0.39%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=ef5a554f8d6dbf133470cea4b051ca8f)] prepares for infusion of 72 MW Arayat-Mexico solar farm that was just energized by CREIT\031s parent company, Citicore Renewable Energy Corp (CREC), and AC Energy [ACEN 8.86 ²1.84%]. CREC said that it is starting construction of Phase 2 of this project next month, to add another 40 MW of capacity by the end of the year. CREIT investors are still just waiting on that first full quarterly dividend to validate the FY22 yield projections, but infusions like this are a big part of CREIT\031s future growth.\r\n> - **Medilines Distributors** [MEDIC 0.89 ²1.14%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=7365deaa1615999b3470cea4b051ca8f)] delivers 1st \034complete cancer diagnosis package\035 in Mindanao. The machines permit identification and tracking of cancerous abnormalities without invasive surgery. MEDIC is the dominant provider of these machines in the country, and the hospital where this was installed (Southern Philippines Medical Center) is a top MEDIC customer. These transactions are what got MEDIC to the market, but investors in the IPO will be looking for explosive performance of MEDIC\031s new consumables business. There\031s a lot riding on the next annual and quarterly reports from MEDIC.\r\n\r\n**MB** is written and distributed every trading day. The newsletter is 100% free and I never upsell you to some "iNnEr cIrClE" of paid-membership perks. Everyone gets the same! Join the barkada by signing up for the [newsletter](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1&utm_source=mb), or follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MerkadoBarkada). You can also read my daily Morning Halo-halo content on [Philstar.com](https://www.philstar.com) in the [Stock Commentary](https://www.philstar.com/business/stock-commentary) section, and in the Saturday edition of the [Daily Manila Shimbun](https://www.manila-shimbun.com/). \r\n#Subscribe [here](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1)\r\n#Read today's full newsletter [here](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility)
## 57 *TLDR at the bottom*\n\n**Background**\n\n19M, \034sexually active\035 since 15. IELT of effectively 0. Throughout the years, tried various training regimens and techniques with no luck. \n\nI immediately ejaculate from penetrative sex, sometimes before even a first pump inside. When receiving oral, I would last 10-40 seconds. I have always felt that my PE was chronic.\n\nI had to become very skilled at giving girls head to save face after my embarrassing performance. I guess this could be considered to be some silver lining to PE, but obviously, I was not happy with my sexual performance. I could not fuck girls how they wanted to be fucked. It\031s great to be able to consistently make girls cum from oral, but I always felt a huge sense of inadequacy.\n\nI\031ve been in a long-term relationship and couldn\031t continue like this. Since becoming sexually active and noticing my PE, I found this subreddit and tried everything mentioned here short of drugs. So, in a last ditch effort, I tried drugs.\n\nI sought a prescription from Roman (this is not an ad or sponsored whatsoever), a website you can use in most states in the US to basically fill out a questionnaire, text with a medical doctor, and figure out which prescription would help with your sexual issues.\n\nThe doctor told me I could choose between sildenafil (Viagra) and sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI). The way he put it, sildenafil is meant to make men be able to maintain or get an erection if they have trouble doing so, and the evidence that it helps prolong IELT is limited. I would take it on demand 30 mins before sex. For sertraline, there is strong evidence that it prolongs IELT. However, I did not want to be on an antidepressant, as I am very fortunate to be in good mental health with good brain chemistry, and I did not want to risk anything. So, I decided to try sildenafil/Viagra. Note that I don\031t have any problem getting or maintaining erections.\n\n**My Experience with Sildenafil**\n\nLast night, I tried the sildenafil for the first time. I took the 20mg pill about 45 minutes before starting penetration. It did prolong IELT a bit, lasting around 30 secs inside. Obviously, this still isn\031t great, but it\031s shocking that I\031ve been sexually active for years and only just found out what penetrative sex really feels like.\n\nHOWEVER, what followed is why I consider this a \034hack.\035 Even though I already ejaculated, my erection did not go down like it usually would. I was able to continue with penetration. In fact, I didn\031t even pull out after ejaculating. I was able to fuck her for as long as she wanted, which I did, until she came ~15 mins later. After that, we cuddled and my erection went down.\n\nIt felt amazing to be able to fuck. This has already resolved so many insecurities of mine. Needless to say, I\031m over the moon with Viagra.\n\nI may add in some desensitizing spray along with the Viagra to reduce the uncomfortably heightened sensitivity immediately following ejaculation.\n\nThe only side effect I experienced from the 20mg pill was red/bloodshot eyes, which a few drops of Visine quickly fixed.\n\n**TLDR**\n\nI used sildenafil (Viagra) to maintain my erection after prematurely ejaculating. This enabled me to continue penetrative sex without any break.
## 58 I\031m insane. Please just tell me I\031m insane. Please tell me that I\031m a delusional freak who deserves to be locked up. Hell, call me a \034schizo-head\035 or a \034psycho maniac\035, fucking *ANYTHING*! Just for the love of GOD, tell me this isn\031t real. If it is, I... I don\031t know what I\031ll do.\n\nIt\031s been going on for almost two and a half months now. At *least* since Jacqui died. Jaqueline, the girl I took under my wing. The girl I let down and now, the source of my torment. \n\nWe\031d met about a month and half ago and I was still working a dead-end job as a cook for \034Porky Bros.\035, the old barbecue joint that sat in the middle of downtown where I lived before it closed down last week. I still remember how we met. \n\nI was out back taking a smoke (the only one I\031d had so far that day). I\031d just about gotten into a fistfight with Rick, one of the waiters who always particularly disliked me for whatever reason. The guy seemed to amuse himself with trying to crack a bull whip over my back to hurry up with an order. And of course, when a customer would complain about something being wrong with the food, be it \034not seasoned enough\035, or \034something was still cold\035, you can bet your bottom fuckin\031 dollar the son of a bitch would be in my ear about it.\n\nThat time was over the order being three minutes late (even though we were getting slammed with business and I *barely* had any help, with multiple people calling out). I was already tired from having to pull a double and I\031d been putting up with his shit for *FAR* longer than I ever should\031ve and I was about to break his face in when Wendall, my buddy and one of the only other cooks working with me that day, stepped in and told me to go take a smoke. I did so without a single word.\n\nSo there I was, puffin\031 away at a Marlboro Red when she approached me for the first time. I could tell she\031d been crying and her clothes were torn and raggedy. \034Can I bum a smoke\035, she asked, her voice shaking. I looked in the pack, seeing that there was only one left after the one I was smoking. Admittedly I almost told her no.\n\nLooking at her, though, I guess at the time I didn\031t have the heart. \034Thank you.\035 She just stood next to me, silently dragging on her smoke. Part of me wanted to ask if she was okay. But at the same time, I knew she wasn\031t. The way she looked said everything. The tattered clothes, the way she was quivering, still in tears, and just how utterly frightened she was, plus I could also see bruises on her cheekbones and around her mouth.\n\nI was heartbroken. I must\031ve somehow shown it, too, because she soon told me that \034it was nothing. Just an accident.\035 \n\n\034Accident, my ass.\035 She shrunk a bit before taking another drag. She told me that \034it was just a misunderstanding; that it wouldn\031t happen again.\035 \n\nI was becoming enraged. I wasn\031t a saint, sure. But damn it, I was raised to believe that, no matter what, a man doesn\031t put hands on a woman like that. I wanted to find and hand this piece of shit his ass on a platter before putting him down like the animal he was. \034What happened, why\031d he do it\035, I finally managed to ask.\n\nShe shook her head, \034Look, don\031t worry about it, okay? You wouldn\031t get it anyway.\035 \n\n\034I think I get it perfectly well. Some bastard just beat the hell out of you, and you\031re afraid of getting him in trouble by telling me who he is.\035\n\n\034Oh yeah\035, she scoffed, \034and what\031re you gonna do, huh? Kick his ass?\035\n\n\034Why not? At least *then* I can kick *someone\031s* ass today.\035\n\nThis made her chuckle. \034Bad day, huh?\035\n\n\034Look who\031s talking.\035 This time, we both laughed. \034Name\031s Otto, by the way.\035\n\n\034Jacqueline\035, she said, her voice sounding just a little less timid. She flicked her cigarette out before thanking me and turning to leave. \n\n\034Hold up.\035 I shot out my hand to her, stopping her. I pulled out one of the order tickets I\031d crumpled up earlier out of anger and scrawled out my phone number. \034Call me later, okay?\035 \n\nShe looked at it and then to me, smiling. \034You got it.\035 She then turned and left and I went back inside to continue torturing myself with the rest of my shift. That night when I finally got home (at 1:45 A.M., having to close the kitchen), I was grabbing a beer from the fridge when my phone buzzed with a text message. \n\n\024\034Hey, it\031s me, Jacqueline. I just wanted to say thx for talking 2 me & letting me bum a smoke. Rly made my day better. :)\035\n\nI smiled, something I hadn\031t done all day (or all week for that matter), and replied that I was glad I made *somebody* happy today. I also texted her that if she wanted to talk about anything, that I\031d be there. After that, there was no reply for a while so I decided to proceed with drinking myself to sleep that night. \n\nWhen I woke up the next morning (by that, I really mean about a half hour to noon), I found that there were a couple of texts from her waiting for me. The first one was only about three hours after the one I sent her;\n\n\024\034Tht would B nice. Thnk U! :)\035\n\nThe other two were sent only about another hour after that one, each only about ten minutes or so apart from each other.\n\n\024\034Hey... U still up?\035\n\n\024\034I\031m kinda scared here... can we talk? Pls?\035\n\nMy eyes snapped wide when I saw this. I felt my heart drop. The time stamps for these messages had been from five hours ago, when I was asleep. She\031d needed me, and I wasn\031t there.\n\nImmediately, I shot her a text saying that I was sorry I didn\031t see her message and asked if she was okay. My heart was racing, waiting, praying for a response. Finally, about five minutes later, my phone buzzed with a response. \n\n\024\034Hey, it\031s fine. Everything\031s ok. :) Sry 4 worrying U.\035\n\nMy heart slowly returned to normal. *\035At least she\031s alive.\035* I asked her what happened and if she was hurt. She replied that she was alright and that she was \034overreacting\035. \n\nThough I was relieved that she was okay for now, I wasn\031t convinced that she was just \034overreacting\035. Look, I\031m *NO* kinda trauma counselor or psychologist, but I wasn\031t born yesterday, either. I\031d seen before where I\031d see friends of mine lookin\031 like Jacqui did, with bruises, cuts, and black eyes covering them after their pieces of shit boyfriends would come home (usually sloshed) with some wild hair in their asses. Every time, they too would try to pass it off as something like \034overreacting\035 or \034just an accident\035 or \034not what it looked like\035.\n\nI decided to ask if she was open for lunch that afternoon since I was off work. She replied that she was busy, but that dinner might be an option. I told her that would be great and asked if she\031d like me to pick her up. She replied with her address and I told her I\031d be by around 6:30 that evening.\n\nAfter that, I spent the day getting cleaned up and rummaging through my storage unit of an apartment for *something* nice (or at least halfway decent) to wear to dinner. I wanted to make an impression. I wanted her to see that good men *do* still exist that can treat her like a lady, you know? If nothing else, I figured maybe it\031d help her feel more secure and might open up about what was going on. \n\nAbout five o\031 clock that evening, I\031d managed to find the suit I wore for my brother\031s wedding and was putting it through a cycle in the wash. That\031s when my phone buzzed with a text from Jacqui.\n\n\024\034Hey... I know this is awkward, but is there any way U could come get me now?\035\n\nI froze. I\031d just put the suit into the washer and it wouldn\031t be done for another twenty minutes. I asked her if everything was okay. She replied that she was fine, but *really* wanted to meet up now. I asked what was going on, but she didn\031t reply after that. \n\nI was floored. I wasn\031t sure what I was supposed to do. Part of me wanted to try and press for details. I was getting a bit nervous with how vague she was being with everything. I wondered what I\031d see once I got there. *\035Would she even be alive when I got there?\035*\n\nAgain, I\031d *seen* shit like this play out before, and I wasn\031t just gonna sit by and watch it happen with Jacqui. I started imagining what the boyfriend was like; imagining a 6\031 2\035 gorilla whose breath reeked perpetually of Bud lite. It was with this in mind that i said I said fuck the suit and threw on a T-shirt and jeans (the cleanest ones I could find) and hopped in my car. I shot her a text saying I was on my way as I all but peeled out of the parking lot. \n\nIt took me about fifteen minutes to find where she lived, having to backtrack once or twice through roads I wasn\031t real familiar with. The city I lived in was small, sure, but I didn\031t exactly get out much which made it all unfamiliar territory for me. Her house was a small one just off the corner of the downtown area, isolated with only two other houses neighboring it. \n\nWhen I pulled up, I noticed there wasn\031t a vehicle parked in the driveway. *\035Damn it! I\031m too late! Fucker\031s already gone\035*, I thought as I jumped out of the car and made my way to the porch, my hand tightly gripped around the butterfly knife I always keep in my pocket (it\031s not exactly a nice neighborhood I live in).\n\n\034Jacqueline\035, I called, knocking on the door. For about a minute, nothing happened. I tried leaning my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. Nothing. It was when I was texting her, telling her that I was on the porch that I heard the door slowly open. \n\nThe front door cracked open and My heart stopped when I saw her face. It was worse than the previous day. Covering almost every inch of her face were cuts and fresh bruises alongside the ones from before. My jaw fell open and hung like someone tied a brick of lead to it. I was horrified, while at the same time overcome with rage. Now I wanted the bastard six feet in the ground, and I wanted to be the one that dug his grave. \n\n\034W-What-\034 \n\nShe stepped out onto the porch, quickly shutting the door behind her. She stood there silently, her face chiseled in a state of fear and her eyes locked onto my feet, seemingly unable to make contact with mine. Now in the full light outside, I saw how one eye was so badly beaten that it was almost swollen shut. As well as this, there were gashes now across her cheeks, fresh and still trickling with blood. \n\nI was speechless. I wasn\031t sure how to begin. I didn\031t know whether to demand she tell me who this animal was and where I could find him or to grab her and hold her in the tightest bear hug I could manage. In the end, I just stood still, speechless with horror.\n\nFinally, she broke the silence and asked, shaking, \034Can we go, please?\035 \n\nAlmost absently, I nodded and stammered, \034Wh-where to?\035 \n\n\034I don\031t care\035, she said, her voice breaking, \034I just need to get out.\035 \n\nI gently took her hand and led her into my car and we drove off. I decided against trying to take her out to a restaurant or anything like that, looking the way she did and all. With no other ideas of where to go, I asked if she\031d like to come back with me to my place for dinner. She just nodded nervously again. \034That\031d be nice.\035\n\n\034I\031ll have to warn you, though, I\031m not exactly the tidiest.\035 I chuckled when I said this, hoping to lighten the mood with that. It didn\031t work. \n\n\034Doesn\031t matter, it\031ll be fine\035, she said anxiously, still quivering like she was cold. I could tell she wasn\031t in the mood to hear my voice at the moment so the rest of the way to my apartment was spent in silence. The whole time, her eyes stared about a thousand yards ahead through the windshield while she shook in the passenger seat. \n\nWhen we pulled up to my apartment, before I could even cut the engine off, Jacqueline was already undoing her seat belt and opening the door. As quickly as I could, I turned the car off and got out after her. I got her to follow me back to my apartment.\n\n\034Ta-da\035, I said awkwardly as I opened the door to reveal my wreck of an apartment. \034Home sweet home, or at least as sweet as it *can* be.\035 I saw her look at me, her eyes still wide and nervous, yet still parting the left corner of her lip up into a shy half-smile. I threw some of my clutter that was on the couch to the floor beside it, giving her a place to sit down. \n\nShe stood in the doorway for a second before finally trudging over and sitting down. \034Would you like a drink\035, I asked, opening the fridge, \034I must warn you, all I got are Millers. But they are fresh and cold.\035 She smiled weakly again an replied \034No thanks.\035 \n\nI grabbed one for myself and made my way to the couch, sitting next to her. For the first five minutes or so, my apartment was so dead silent that you\031d have been able to hear a pin dropping from the fifth floor above me. She just sat staring at the floor. A couple times, I saw her shaking her head like she was dizzy or something. I broke the silence by asking her if she\031d like to watch a something on the TV.\n\nShe didn\031t seem to notice me at first, so I called her name again. This time, her head snapped up to me. Her face looked lost and afraid at the same time. \034Huh?\035\n\n\034You wanna watch some TV?\035\n\n\034Oh, uh... y-yeah. Yeah that\031d be nice.\035\n\nI turned it on and started flipping through channels. Finally, I managed to land on an episode of \034Family Guy\035 and stopped there. I asked her if she was cool with that, telling her it was one of my favorites (though to be honest, it wasn\031t). She just shrugged and said she didn\031t mind. \n\nBy that point, it was really starting to eat away at me at what she wasn\031t telling me. Again, I get it; people in her situation, especially after a particularly bad episode like what she\031d dealt with earlier, tend not to want to talk about it. But that didn\031t make things any easier for me. I became especially anxious when I saw her start shaking her head and clutching her temples. Then I started hearing her faintly mutter under her breath, \034No...No, stop it! I don\031t want to. stop!\035\n\n\034Stop what\035, I asked nervously, putting my hand on her shoulder. She didn\031t seem to notice, instead shaking her head more violently and tearing at her hair. Her clawing became violent, pulling at her ears and I was scared she was about to rip them off. I realized that she must be having a psychological episode, maybe PTSD or something from getting the hell beat out of her that day.\n\nUnsure of what to do, I grabbed her arms and shouted her name, \034Jacqueline, Jacqueline!\035 She finally stopped and looked at me again. Her eyes were wide, almost unnaturally so, looking absolutely lost and flooding with tears. Her breathing was heavy. \034It\031s okay\035, I said softly, \034it\031s okay, I\031m here. I\031ve got you.\035\n\nI didn\031t really know why I said that. Truthfully, I didn\031t believe what I said, being just as lost (if not more so) than she was. I guess it was the only thing I knew to say to make her feel better, or at least to keep her from doing serious harm to herself. Thankfully, it seemed to do as much because her body immediately relaxed as she then curled into a ball and buried her face in her hands, sobbing. \n\nI just froze. What was I supposed to do here? I wanted to hold her, but at the same time I knew that might cause her to freak out again. One thing was certain, I DEFINITELY wanted to beat the shit out of the boyfriend. \n\n\034I\031m sorry\035, she said through her hands. \034I shouldn\031t have come here. I\031m sorry. I should go.\035 She started to get up from the couch. I got up to stop her.\n\n\034Back to him\035, I asked. She tried to push past me to the door. I continued to block her. I couldn\031t let her go back to that. Hell, I wasn\031t even sure I was comfortable leaving her alone at this point.\n\n\034What are you talking about?\035\n\n\034Your boyfriend, the piece of shit that\031s done this to you.\035\n\nShe shrunk down again, closing her eyes and saying \034Look, you don\031t get it. My boyfriend didn\031t do this. I don\031t have a boyfriend, okay? I live alone. Just please, I need to go home.\035\n\nI was caught off guard by this. If she didn\031t have a boyfriend or anyone else, then who\031s been beating her up like this? As much as I wanted to press that question, I could see that she was desperate to leave. \034Then at least let me take take you home, please. Just so I know you\031ll be okay.\035\n\nShe looked at me and nodded, \034Sure.\035 We drove in silence. Well, silent except for her constantly mumbling \034I said no! I won\031t go, I don\031t want to. Leave me alone!\035 I said nothing, but I can\031t lie, this was starting to scare me. I was terrified that at any moment, she was gonna start trying to tear at her hair or something again. Fortunately, that didn\031t happen.\n\nWhen we pulled into her house, before she could bolt out like she couldn\031t get out fast enough, I put a hand out, stopping her. \034Call me tomorrow morning, okay? Just let me know everything\031s okay, please?\035\n\nShe halfheartedly nodded before getting out of the car. After she went inside her house, I just sat there for a good five or so minutes, waiting for something to happen. I almost expected to see her in the window, getting hurt, either by herself or someone else and that I was gonna have to rush in after her. As it happened, all the lights were off and it was dead silent. \n\nI finally managed to satisfy myself that, for the time being, she was okay and left her house. It\031s no surprise that on the drive home that night, my mind was entrapped by one big question; what the hell was going on with Jacqueline? Why was she hurting herself the way she was? What was causing her to have episodes like she did at my apartment?\n\nDid something happen to her, maybe something that\031s somehow scarred her? That might would make sense. But then that brings up the question of why she hasn\031t sought help. Hell, has she told anybody, if not, then why? Of course, all of this was eclipsed by the biggest question; who the hell was she talking to when she was saying \034stop, I don\031t want to\035?\n\nThe only conclusion I could think of now was that she might have some form of Schizophrenia or even some dual personality or something like that. Again, no expert on psychology, but based on what I\031d seen, that was the only way I could explain what was going on. This, however, made me feel all the more uneasy about leaving her by herself.\n\nIt was a good thing I was off work the next day too, because all through that night, I was essentially on high alert, just waiting for her to call or text me panicking again. In other words, sleep was not an option. What\031s worse is that the entire time, try as I would otherwise (even downing a few Millers), I couldn\031t take my mind off of it to relax. I kept imagining that the next time I saw her, it\031d be in the hospital, or worse.\n\nAll I could do was pray that she\031d call the next morning, telling me that things were okay. Finally, at around 8:00 A.M., my phone rang. Out of reflex, I mashed the green button, \034Hello? Jacqueline?! Is everything okay?!\035\n\n\034Yeah. Everything\031s fine.\035 Her voice sounded normal. Actually, it almost seemed *relaxed*. It felt almost like a total 180 from the previous night. \034Listen, I\031m sorry about last night. I know you probably think I\031m nuts, but I can explain. Can we meet up again?\035\n\n\034Uh... yeah sure. Where at and what time?\035\n\n\034In an hour. At the park with the pier.\035\n\n\034Okay. You want me to bring anything? Maybe something for\024\034 she hung up before I could finish. I quickly got dressed and got in my car. On the way to the park, I decided to stop by the nearby Subway and grab some food for us. The whole time, I was wondering if the right thing to do would be to try admitting her to a hospital. I knew she probably wouldn\031t like the idea, but I couldn\031t just let her keep hurting herself like this, could I?\n\nI hadn\031t come to any sort of conclusion by the time I pulled up at the park either. I resolved to hear her out first, then go from there. That way, I would at least have a better understanding of what was going on. I texted her, asking her where she was and where in the park she wanted to meet up. She replied about two seconds later saying she was waiting at the pier by the lake. \n\nGrabbing the sandwiches, I headed into the park and for the lake. When I got there, I saw her sitting on the edge, looking out toward the lake. \034Hey, so I hope you don\031t mind, but I brought us a bite to\024\034\n\n\034It\031s beautiful, isn\031t it?\035\n\nI stopped. \034Huh?\035\n\n\034The lake. it\031s beautiful, isn\031t it?\035\n\n\034Uh... Yeah, I guess so.\035 I slowly approached the rest of the way to her. She just sat still. \n\n\034My mother always tells me that the current of a lake would always wash away one\031s strife. That it was so peaceful to lose yourself in.\035\n\n\034Uh... o-kay\035, I said, unsure of what I was supposed to say to this. I couldn\031t explain it, but something felt *off*. It was like some dormant instinct, a \034sixth sense\035 you can call it, that was telling me that something was up. *\035But what?\035*\n\nWhen I reached her, I put my hand on her shoulder. \034You hungry? I picked us up some Subs from Subway. I wasn\031t sure what you liked so I got you a\024\034\n\n\034I hear dead people.\035 \n\nFor a moment, everything almost seemed to freeze in place. She was still and motionless and the way she said it was like she was accepting some great truth of life. I guess a better way of saying it is that she sounded \034numb\035 or \034hollow\035. \n\n\034I hear dead people\035, she repeated in that same \034numb\035 tone. \034They tell me to join them in the end; in him.\035\n\nMy tongue felt swollen, like it\031d been punched. \034I-I\031m sorry, *what*? Y-you hear\024\034\n\n\034Dead people, yes.\035\n\n\034And they tell you to do what now?\035\n\nShe was quiet again for a moment. I was floored. How was I supposed to respond to that? How would *YOU* have responded to hearing this? \n\n\034They want me to go with them\035, she said finally, blankly. \n\n\034Go where? What do you mean?\035\n\n\034Into the end. To join with him. They\031ve been telling me that he is what waits for us all.\035\n\n\034Huh? Who? You mean like God or something? What do you mean by \034waiting for us all?\035 Even before she\031d answer though, I knew deep down the answer was something wrong. \n\n\034He doesn\031t have a name. He is all of us. He is what we become on the other side. He waits to be completed. They need me. *He* needs me to join.\035\n\nI could feel a series of chills prick down my spine hearing this. She sounded so relaxed when she said it, like it all seemed normal to her. It all sounded like something a cult member would say, and she said it like it was nothing. This was scaring the hell out of me now and I was certain of one thing; one way or another, I *HAD* to find her some kind of help.\n\n\034They\031ve been telling me this ever since my mother died last year. I always hear her, telling me to \034follow her to the end and join with him.\035 \n\nI slowly reached out and gently put my hand on her shoulder. \034Jacqui, come on let\031s get out of here. We can find someone to \024\034\n\n\034Help me\035, she asked, interrupting me, \034Is that what you were gonna say?\035 I stayed silent. She let out a scoff and said \034look, if you won\031t believe me, what makes you think anyone else will?\035 \n\nI was stumped. I wanted to grab her hand and take her to the nearest hospital. I wanted to tell her things were okay and that the voices weren\031t real. But I didn\031t. Instead, I clammed up. \n\n\034Besides which\035, she continued, starting to stand up, \034it\031s alright. Everything\031s gonna be fine now. I\031m done running.\035 What happened next felt like it was lasting an eternity, despite it lasting only about a couple of minutes.\n\nI remember briefly noticing that she had her shoelaces tied together in a ball, joining both feet together. While my brain was busy with wondering about this (as well as trying to take in what I was hearing AND trying to figure out how to find some help for her), she looked me in the eyes for the first time since I got there and said \034Thanks for being here now, Otto.\035\n\nI, for only a split second, saw that her hands were duct taped together. By the time it fully hit me exactly what she planned to do, I\031d be too late to stop her. In one fluid motion, she flung her body backwards and was instantly swallowed by the lake. I rushed over and saw that she was almost too far down to see, only faintly glimpsing her eyes looking back up at me, wide and panicking. \n\nI turned back and shouted at a few others walking by to call 911 before diving headfirst into the lake after her. I flailed frantically as hard as possible, pushing myself deeper and deeper after her. It was useless, though. The lake ran deep and it got darker, murkier the further down it went. Because of this, I couldn\031t see a thing. I also had never been a good swimmer in the first place.\n\nI had to push myself back up for air and go back down again several times, still unable to reach her. Eventually, my body grew weak and I couldn\031t even move my arms and legs anymore. My body then started sinking too and I was forced to take in a mouthful of water, unable to hold my breath any longer. That\031s when I finally blacked out, falling to the bottom of the lake along with Jacqueline. \n\nI remember coming to on the pier, dizzy, puking and spewing up lake water. Over me was a paramedic holding a jump bag and an oxygen mask. \034He\031s becoming responsive\035, he shouted to the group on the other side of the pier. \034Are you okay, sir?\035\n\nI stared blankly at him, still catching my breath. It took a moment before everything came rushing back to me. \034Jacqueline\035, I cried, bolting up. The paramedic stopped me, telling me to calm down. I looked around to see police officers at the edge of the pier begin walking towards me.\n\nWhen they questioned me as to what happened, I told them the truth as I knew it; that she had jumped in the river after telling me that she was hearing voices. I expressed that I also had every intention of trying to find help for her. They seemed to accept this as there was no other evidence, physical or from witnesses, to suggest anything otherwise and I was free to go home.\n\nFrom there, life sort of just went on. It was weird. I of course spent a couple weeks following losing myself to the bottle every night after work. Finally, I was turned out from Porky Bros. when it got to a point that I wasn\031t really able to function in the kitchen anymore. I read a week later in the paper that Jacqui\031s body was finally found after dragging the lake. \n\nEventually though, I managed to actually sort of \034move on\035. I found another job at a much nicer restaurant (one that actually paid a bit better) and I felt like I could push Jacqueline to the back of my head; a distant memory. That\031s when I started hearing it though. Or rather, Hearing *her*.\n\nIt happened one night when I\031d come home from work and was about to go to bed when I started hearing her voice calling my name, \034Otto... Otto...\035 Then I saw her. She looked like she did when she was alive. Actually, she looked even better, being without the bruises. I rubbed my eyes. *\035What the hell?\035*\n\n\034Otto. It\031s me, Jacqueline. Remember?\035 She was smiling when she said it. Her voice was smooth and calming. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. When I opened them, she was gone. \n\n*\035Come on man, get a grip.\035* I decided to quickly down a couple of Millers before going to bed. That night, in my sleep, though, there she was again. She was standing in front of me, naked and smiling warmly. \034You\031re lonely, aren\031t you Otto? It\031s time. Come join us. Join with him.\035\n\nBefore I can ask what she\031s talking about (as well as how she\031s there and what she wants with me), I hear a flurry of shrill whispers coming from behind me. Then, out of the corner of my eyes, I see thousands of white streaks rush past, each of them with elongated mouths screaming simultaneously, \034Come join us!\035\n\nI was horrified. I tried to make myself wake up, but it was no use. I could only watch as the screaming streaks begin swirling around in a vortex motion behind Jacqueline. Jacqui herself then started descending towards the center, her voice blending chaotically with the rest in chanting for me to \034join with him\035. Upon reaching the center, I see her and the others start to morph, blending together and molding into the shape of a man. \n\nHe \024 it, was tall and dark, like he was made out of the void itself. It had four long gangly arms that stretched out further and further towards me to snatch me and drag me into it. Every part of it was comprised of the screaming faces as more and more of them continued to conjoin. All around me was a horrific cacophony of their screams, \034Join us!\035 The last thing I remember hearing before waking up was Jacqui\031s voice telling me it was time to join with him.\n\nI almost jumped out of my bed and I didn\031t go back to sleep again that night. That was almost a month ago. Every day since, I keep seeing them, hearing them; always telling me to join them. Every time, I see the thing, \034Him\035, getting closer. I haven\031t been able to sleep and I can\031t function during the day either. I\031m always hearing them. \n\nI don\031t know what this thing is, or what it\031ll do when it reaches me in my sleep. But I\031m 100% certain that it\031s something unholy, something horrible. I\031ve been trying pills, but they only last so long before I hear them again. The only hope I have now is that I\031m just fuckin\031 losing it. That grief is somehow driving me, like it drove Jacqui with her mother, to see this shit.\n\nI beg of you, please show me some kind of proof that what I\031m seeing isn\031t real. I\031m fuckin\031 scared right now. I can hear them right now. \n\n*\035Goddamn it, I don\031t wanna go!\035*
## 59 I\031m a Canadian and a good friend of mine is visiting relatives in Pakistan right now, and when I checked in with him he just said they were hiding in a shelter at the moment. Admittedly, I\031m not completely up to speed on Pakistani politics, but I\031ve followed the news somewhat recently.\n\nCan someone dumb it down for me though? What\031s going on? Why is Imran Khan no longer PM? Would there be a danger to westernized/foreign Pakistani people? Are those two things even linked? Thanks in advance.\n\nEDIT: this mf& texts the group chat this morning \034Hahaha I was kidding silly\035. Thanks everyone. My friends an idiot.
## 60 **After the events of Alien: Isolation, Amanda Ripley finds herself rescued and cared for in a Seegson Medical Facility on the planet mining colony Eden2. As her traumatic experiences on Sevastopol Space Station slowly return to her, she is quickly presented with a new threat: a major incident in Eden2\031s subsurface geothermal plant has left the entire colony in lockdown.**\n\n**Ripley must navigate the surface Habi-Sphere City and the three deep-mine sectors to lift the lockdown and rescue as many of the colonists as possible, whilst evading the dangers of a new kind of Alien, the faulty ADAM&EVE AI systems, and a cast of unsavoury characters with dubious motives.**\n\n**Her only ray of hope: a colonial transport vessel scheduled to fly in the planet\031s vicinity. Will Ripley be able to rescue the colonists and send an evacuation distress call in time? Or will Eden2 become a paradise of nightmares?**\n\nAlien: Eden2 is a speculative, text-based sequel to Alien Isolation, and is set to continue and expand upon Amanda Ripley\031s story. Inspiration has been drawn from the 2014 video game as well as its novelisation, and the project seeks to outline the plot, gameplay and structure of this fictional sequel in as much detail as possible. Any input in the comments would be greatly appreciated and will help with the finalised version of Alien: Eden2.
## 61 \n\n \n\nThrowaway account\n\nI (26F) share a birthday with a friend (24F). The girl in question (25F) has a birthday three weeks after mine and 24F. 24F consistently remarks over how everyone forgets about her birthday because mine is the same day as hers. I am very Type A. If I want to do something such as a birthday party, I will plan to do it. 24F doesn't make plans specifically for her birthday.\n\nMy fiance and I decided to have a fall wedding. September is a busy month for us so we chose the first weekend in October for our date, which happens to be the day after 25F's birthday. The wedding was going to be at my fiance's parent's cabin but after some rethinking we decided to go with a venue. We found a venue that we both fell in love with but we'd have to move our wedding date to the weekend before we originally planned. Like stated above, I'm very Type A and wanted to ensure that our party knows what's going on. I did send a message to our group chat to let them know that we think we're going to go with the venue and that the date will be changed to the weekend before.\n\nThe only responses that I got back in the group chat were statements of how we shouldn't have picked the original date anyways because that's a birthday weekend and that it's better that we change it. My fiance replied, stating that birthdays come once per year and a wedding is a one time thing. This irritated 24F and she replied stating "birthdays only happen when everyone remembers them and when other events are going on nobody does". Since then she hasn't responded to any of the group chat messages, nor will she answer my texts or calls. This is odd because we talk almost every day. I did reply to the message and said something along the lines of "I don't understand why the first date was such a big deal because I did talk with 25F and she told me that she really doesn't care, as long as we celebrate her birthday the weekend before or after." Following my message, another person in the group chat responded and said something similar to "Wow I was just giving you my opinion and if you don't like that then you can leave." Which frankly I found rude because it's my group chat for my wedding party but I didn't respond.\n\nI know that 24F is upset with what my fiance said but lately she's really been making me feel bad that our birthday happens to land on the same day. It's not my fault that I make plans for my personal events, like a birthday party, and she doesn't. I honestly took what she said as a dig at me because she frequently talks about everyone conveniently forgets that we share a birthday.\n\nLess than a day after this conversation, my fiancé and I decided to push the wedding out not because of this issue with our party but because of money problems. I just want to know if I\031m in the wrong by setting my wedding date the day after my friend\031s birthday when it was originally stated that there were no issues.
## 62 **Background**\n\nBack in 2016, I played the original *Xenoblade Chronicles* on my Wii U and loved it. Afterwards, I bought *Xenoblade Chronicles X*, but for a variety of reasons, I could never get into it no matter how many times I tried. For one, the lack of story focus and fantasy elements disappointed me. Plus, the gameplay was way too overwhelming for me to understand at the time due to the lack of proper in-game tutorials, so I dropped the game at Chapter 4.\n\nAfter playing XC2 in 2017-2018, XC:DE in 2020, and Torna in early 2021, I tried giving XCX another chance a couple months after beating Torna. I started over and finished Chapter 3 in March 2021, but I eventually focused on other games. After the XC3 trailer dropped in February 2022, I decided it was finally time to resume XCX and finish the game before XC3 releases. Two XCX-filled months later, I can say that I\031ve *finally* finished it.\n\n**Appreciating the Experiment That Is**\n\nRegardless of how one feels about XCX, it is an experimental game through and through. Tetsuya Takahashi talked about how Monolith Soft was several years behind in terms of developing HD titles at the time, so unlike my younger college self, I can now understand why this game had such a focus on gameplay rather than story. You can tell Monolith really threw everything on the wall: open-world gameplay, piloting mechs, building affinity in the hub world, online functionality, etc. As a result, I developed a newfound appreciation for the game.\n\nI personally enjoyed the affinity missions the most. They're a good way to expand on characters who don't get time in the main story. Of the main cast, I really liked Irina (best girl), Gwin (best boy), and Doug (Doug). For the optional characters, I'd usually just do their initial affinity mission before dropping them. The only optional characters whose content I completed 100% were Murderess (since she's connected to Irina) and Hope (because I like Alexis Tipton's *Fire Emblem* work). Sadly, I didn\031t finish Alexa\031s 2nd affinity mission due to the ridiculous item-collecting requirements.\n\nAs far as exploration is concerned, you can see why Monolith's staff was eventually chosen to help design *The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild*. I enjoyed setting up data probes as it allowed me to explore more of the map than I normally would, and maximizing miranium and revenue gains through probe installation was fun. Skell exploration became a habit of mine once I got the flight module, but sadly, the worst aspect of pre-Skell exploration was high-level enemies (mostly spiders) literally spawning right out of thin air.\n\nIt felt so much like old-school random encounters, especially since they can snipe you from over 100 meters away through walls even if you sprint. Pre-Skell exploration was like navigating a minefield. While other Xenoblade games have high-level enemies in low-level areas, they're at least easy to avoid or segmented within their own side area. High-level enemies in XCX are completely scattered and constantly move across long distances at high speeds to where a they can easily interrupt your designated quest/story mission and fuck everything up.\n\n**Quality of Life**\n\nIf I had to give my biggest critique of *Xenoblade Chronicles X*, it would have to be the **horrendous** audio mixing. For those unfamiliar with the term, I am talking about the audio balance between the music and dialogue during cutscenes, which is straight-up bad and inexcusable on Monolith Soft\031s part. Audio mixing is to XCX what tutorials are to XC2 in that they are some of the worst examples I've seen in any video game within the last decade (though XCX\031s tutorials aren\031t great either).\n\nCutscenes are nearly impossible to decipher without subtitles because the music absolutely overpowers anything the characters have to say. It doesn\031t help that Hiroyuki Sawano\031s score has plenty of lyrical songs, so even if the audio isn\031t too overbearing, the vocal performance will mix in with the dialogue to make it all confusing if you\031re not closely paying attention. The \034Drifting Soul\035 scenes in XC2 weren\031t all that tough to decipher, but XCX\031s music was way too loud.\n\nThe next-biggest issue in XCX has to be the tiny font size throughout the game. I understand that JRPGs tend to have lots of small text on screen, but you also need to make good use of your available on-screen space. XCX uses a thin sans-serif font that\031s hard to read without a good TV/monitor, and the text boxes themselves have plenty of empty space that goes unused. Literally *all* the text could\031ve been increased in both font size and aspect ratio while also widening the text box size, and nothing would\031ve been lost.\n\nOne could argue that XC2 overcorrected by making its font size very large, but at least you could actually read it regardless of your TV quality. One of the reasons I was willing to come back and finish XCX this year was because I recently got a new TV that's much bigger than my previous one, meaning the small text finally became tolerable. Seriously, the fact that the text was tiny even in Japanese is a crime considering Japanese requires much fewer characters for their text compared to English, so you can't blame this on Nintendo of America.\n\n**Online Features in a Single-Player RPG**\n\nTo expand on how annoying it was having to sneak by high-level enemies, it makes raising your characters all the way to Level 30 a grind. Of course, getting Skells for everyone makes exploration and battles infinitely easier, but getting your non-Cross party members to Level 30 is tough because, unlike in XC1 & XC2, your non-active party members don't passively gain EXP in XCX. Even with all the EXP Boost augments you can stack, levels feel slower to gain than in the other games since quests don\031t give as much EXP.\n\nI mention this because for a majority of the base game, you can't make EXP Boost augments above Rank V (+18% EXP). The materials for Ranks X (+28% EXP) through XX (+50% EXP) require Giant Jade Pearls, which are locked to Level 41+ enemies in Sylvalum. Unfortunately by the time you're strong enough to fight them, your characters will already be at Level 30; however, there *is* in fact a way to farm Giant Jade Pearls in the early game, and that's through Reward Tickets and online functionality.\n\nReward Rickets allow you to buy any item drop in the game, meaning you can (1) build late-game augments like EXP Boost XX early and (2) complete the tedious fetch quests. Personally, I find this pretty disappointing because if you\031re someone with bad Wi-Fi like me, the offline journey to Level 30 is much more grindy. I try to avoid online features in single-player games, so me finding out about all this after Chapter 10 made my efforts feel wasted. For a single-player RPG, it takes control out of your own hands and makes the base experience age more poorly, especially once Nintendo Network eventually shut downs.\n\nConsidering people desperately want XCX to come to Switch, I question how online would function in a Switch port considering Nintendo Switch Online requires you to pay a subscription fee. Do you think a future port will just go the route of XC:DE where Time Attack will become the way to farm currency for rare materials? Honestly, the Global Nemesis missions should just be moved offline so that players can gain Reward Tickets from there (like with Noponstones). That way, online becomes a *bonus* rather than the requirement.\n\n**The Good Coming Late**\n\nWhen it comes to the story, I don\031t have much to say other than it only started getting really interesting towards the very end. It\031s odd because the ending to XCX would totally be a midpoint if it were structured like XC1 or XC2, but most of XCX\031s story is just about a war against the cartoonishly evil aliens. The existential themes about humanity (Xeno staple) and the search for our bodies don\031t feel as fleshed out as they should have been.\n\nKnowing Takahashi, the story *absolutely* would\031ve focused more on the existential themes rather than the Ganglion war had he been able to make it a story-driven game. Lao\031s sacrifice and Elma\031s reveal would be the midpoint of a much larger story, meaning that cliffhanger of \034There\031s something about this planet\034 would instead get actual payoff. On another note, I guess this means the mims that died during the story and quests actually did die (RIP Carl, who died from my dumbass decision).\n\nAs for gameplay, I didn\031t learn about infinite Overdrive until right before starting Chapter 12. Because I was about to finish the game, I watched Enel\031s videos on XCX combat, and I\031m pretty pissed that the game did such a shitty job with its tutorials (a pattern for Monolith Soft). The in-game manual doesn\031t even bother to list which colored Arts produce which effects during Overdrive. They only list what effects *can* be produced, but they don\031t bother telling you *how* to produce them. A simple \034blue and green Arts extend Overdrive duration\035 or \034purple Arts increase TP\035 would\031ve been nice.\n\nAnyways, I\031m fucking glad I watched Enel\031s video because OP Overdrive saved my ass during the Chapter 12 boss fights where I was underleveled. Efficiently building up the Overdrive Count with Mastermind Cross isn\031t as easy as Enel makes it look, so I played Chapter 12 as Elma due to her passive Overdrive skills (starting with 12 Count & having 10 extra seconds) as well as her TP-boosting Arts. Elma made those final fights actually tolerable since she was able to deplete the latter half of Lao\031s HP despite only having a final Overdrive Count in the 40s.\n\n**What I Would Fix in a Port or Definitive Edition Remaster**\n\nIf XCX ever gets a port or Definitive Edition remaster (not a full remake) on the Switch or next Nintendo console, there are a number of things that could be tweaked to minimize a lot of the game\031s biggest flaws. The most blatant issues that a port should prioritize fixing above all else are the horrible audio mixing and the tiny font. These are amateurish mistakes that were terrible even at the time and should not have been released to the public, so any port that does not immediately fix these issues is an automatic failure on Monolith Soft\031s part.\n\nThe next change I would make is in how the online features work. Due to Nintendo now locking online functionality behind their subscription service on Switch, Reward Tickets need to be accessible in some way for handheld and non-Wi-Fi gamers. That is why I suggested for Nemesis battles to function offline and for Time Attack Missions to include Reward Tickets, functioning like Noponstones in XC2\031s DLC & XC:DE. It will allow online players to get bonus rewards through Squad Tasks & Missions without compromising the experience of offline players.\n\nAs for other QoL changes, add quest markers for collectible items and item drops just like in XC:DE. Considering this game does not allow you to exit affinity missions, those that revolve around item collection are notorious for practically softlocking players, so adding XC:DE-style markers would alleviate those concerns. In addition, I would allow an option to exit affinity missions on the condition that all progress during the mission is lost. Lastly, the in-game manual should do a better job at explaining the game\031s complex mechanics (like Overdrive).\n\n**Conclusion**\n\nOverall, *Xenoblade Chronicles X* is a weird game in which I'm more fascinated with the development and design choices of the game than I am with the actual playing experience. I definitely see why it has its fans as there are plenty of highlights, but like Sawano's OST, the execution is hit or miss. I'm glad to say that I at least enjoyed this complete playthrough to a decent extent, but I definitely don't think XCX is anywhere near as good or satisfying as XC1 or XC2.\n\nXCX feels like a game made for a Western audience, but not in the ways you'd expect. If you're one of those "I hate anime" people who constantly shits on XC2 on social media, then XCX feels like a game for you (I guess?). It's a game where the gameplay gets much more focus than the story, and most of the character designs look *relatively* more Western than the characters in XC1 or XC2 (probably because the XCX characters are canonically American). Really, only Elma and the alien antagonists (particularly the ladies) have an explicitly Japanese design, which is why Elma can cross over into XC2's DLC without missing a beat.\n\nI do hope XCX finally gets a port sometime in the future, and it definitely needs a sequel due to that *Kingdom Hearts*-esque cliffhanger. Honestly, XCX\031s story feels like a KH story: It dicks around for a majority of the plot, backloads the interesting stuff at the end, and leaves many unanswered questions with a tease after the credits. Regardless, thank you for making it to the end of this lengthy review.\n\nP.S. The \034Lin eating Tatsu\035 jokes were old the first time around and kept getting shoved in your face throughout the game. Does Japan find this funny, or were they annoyed as well?
## 63 We\031ve been together almost a year. \nHe is 100% a different person on his meds VS not on his meds. \n\nOff his meds he is constantly wanting to talk to me, calling me a lot etc (we are kinda long distance)\nOn his meds, I feel like I\031m noticing he isn\031t as persistent (obviously because the medication makes him focus on things now, right?) and he isn\031t as talkative, and we have less phone conversations (which is fine because there is still texting through the day.. he obviously has his life and I have mine)\n\nSo as silly as this sounds& \nI feel less loved?? when he is on his meds. \nBut I KNOW he loves me, and I also love him to death. \nThis is obviously a me issue, but I\031m just curious if anyone else has felt this way with their significant other and I guess how to deal with it if you don\031t always get to see each other.\n\nI plan to talk to him in person about this but figured any insight around ADHD would help me
## 64 I just feel like I need validation I guess that I really have this disorder>&\r@\017 sorry if it\031s annoying I guess I\031m just shocked because I assumed I just had a fun outgoing personality lol until I\031m dying from depression hating myself after. \n\nMine is: \n- making video stories on ig that I think are so funny of me talking and making jokes about bs\n\n-replaying the same fantasy scenarios in my head while listening to the same songs over and over (all fantasies have to do with me being praised).\n- heart racing \n- feeling something in my throat like as if I don\031t do something immediately I\031m gonna die or something (not really die but just be so extremely agitated) like I need a release \n- texting an ex/ random boys I\031ve dated/ dming boys I think are cute and being extremely flirty without a care \n-dating someone new and acting kinda fake like as if I\031m in love with them. I feel like an intense person. \n- doing research for hours about the same thing\n- causing drama for no reason because I feel like it will fill \034something\035 for me. Example: feeling angry at an ex and deciding to curse them out when they didn\031t do anything.\n- writing paragraphs in my notes (sometimes the same ones with different edits) as if I\031m talking to someone in my life. I basically write them so that I don\031t actually send them to the person like trying to be proactive as an outlet. But I\031ll write the paragraph like 15 times or more. Then delete it days later when I feel \034okay\035 again. \n\nI also talk fast have a lot of ideas make jokes constantly to the point where I\031m practically just an actress and have been told I am very Loud or to quiet down sometimes. \n\nI really thought it was just my personality the whole time and I never even cared I\031ve been so loved and complimented for my \034outgoing\035 and \034not giving a shit\035 \034honest\035 personality so I am just sooooo confused. Does anyone else do this stuff.
## 65 It was a JOKE. I thought it was a JOKE. I switched to a co ed school last year. A friend of mine was shocked when she found out that I(14F) have never dated anyone ever. Then she says \034It is my life\031s mission to find you a girlfriend\035. Now ALL MY FRIENDS SAY THAT. THEY ALL MESS AROUND WHEN THEY DO SAY THAT. SO I ASSUMED SHE WAS JOKING AS WELL. I laughed it off and before I knew it she finds this girl who finds me attractive(bullshit I look like a cow reproduced with a housefly) and I don\031t know how to tell them I am not actually looking for a girlfriend!!! I\031m SO stupid=
## 66 **Full spoilers ahead: (As well as a constant barrage of pre-release content)**\n\n\nIt is not a particularly uncommon theory/indulged in fandom media that Mari was abusive/an abuser but ultimately not supported in-game. However, I don't believe it is that strange/uncommon to get that read from her before the end of the game occurs. I know I did have that as a theory of mine approaching the end of the game, but learning the truth that it was more a tragedy full of accidents it broke my heart. \n\nBut&\n\nAfter going through **COUNTLESS** amounts of Omori pre-release content + unused content out of curiosity's sake, I believe that Omori went through a semi-significant rewrite for it's core idea and potentially could be a cause of why Omori had such an insane Dev Hell time frame.\n\nMari may have in fact been a completely different character for most of Omori's existence as an idea. \n\nMari may have in fact been the single focal abuser causing Sunny to become the depressed shut-in more consistent with Omoriboy and the original Omori comics. \n\n(I would like to note I do not for a second believe that this is reflected as dark subtext within the final game/Mari's final character. I am just analyzing how the story likely changed much like Omocat mentioned on Basil Birthday stream on 2/18/2022)\n\n**Public Release Info**\n\nOmori is somewhat notorious for how Omocat kept people in the dark for most of the game's development post being kickstarted but there is still a lot we can work with. \n\nThe first thing I'd like to draw attention to is Mari's appearance in all pre-release Omori content.\n\nMore specifically... *the fact she only has one appearance across everything until the 2020 trailer right before the game was released.*\n\nMari is not in Headspace at all. \n\nShe is not synonymous with Sunny's ideal world for most of the time the *idea Omori existed*\n\n~~Ignoring Omoriboy because it's only Omoriboy in white space with Mewo (and maybe proto Abbi?), but he clearly is struggling with something~~\n\n[Omori comic?](https://www.omocat-blog.com/post/57264870461/omoriboy-omoris-story-omoris-sketchbook-omori)\n\nThe one that Omocat deliberately showed off and commented on with all its allusions to modern/later incarnations of things for Basil's Birthday Stream?\n\nNot one peep of her outside of saying they gave OG Beta Basil's (Flower) perfectionism to Mari. \n\nFor emphasis, one of the final panels after Omori is whisked away from his imagination and his friends where he looks at his notebook and breaks down crying. [Even proto!Basil sneaks in a cameo here.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/617389907656310813/960618585695346718/IMG_0229.jpg)\n\n[Omocat Basil Birthday stream for proof that this is old Basil.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/617389907656310813/944404144612069386/unknown.png)\n\n[2014 Kickstarter Trailer?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erzgjfU271g) \n\nShe only makes an appearance in white space for a brief second more haunting Omori. She is not animated along with his friends Aubrey/Kel/Hero. Even Basil gets one shot of animation turning around here in his headspace colors as well. Well outside of Something\031s first appearance&\n\n[2017 Trailer?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV0BST2nifk)\n\nWhile double-checking this video, this is where my suspicions went from "Oh perhaps this is just keeping up the mystery" to "Oh my god, she's not here still".\n\nBecause the single most synonymous thing with Mari in headspace (and arguably the whole game) is being at picnics with the cast. \n\nHowever, there is a picnic scene on screen with finished/current animations for Aubrey and Kel (Hero is squinting his eyes but same pose, and Omori is in his sitting position but eating the fruit) and specifically no Mari to be seen. In fact, this white space emphasized trailer has her not appear at all. \n\n*Edit I completely forgot about 2018 demo, that is the first appearance of headspace Mari minimal impact on game however she has a weird in-between state of being near picnics but they're never called her picnic baskets*\n\n**Unused and Older Game build info**\n\nThere is certainly a lot less info here relative to what I have typed up here. Though there are some KEY dialog differences that are to my knowledge completely unused in the final game of Omori but still reported on the Omori text dump database.\n\n[You can find the following quotes I post under this exact link. The named character is something, which is very clearly Mari.](https://goats.dev/omori/maptext.html#farawaytown_extras_fears)\n\n> Oh, little brother... Please do not resist... After all I've done for you... Will you not trust me? Please... Let me take care of you...\n\n> Sweet, little brother... You... You are confused... Why do you deny my help? I will always want the best for you... You know that, don't you? Please... Let me take care of you...\n\n> I'm sorry... Sweet little brother... I must insist... Your eyes... They are welled with tears and your fingers...\\ They shake in pain. Do not worry, little brother. I will take care of you...\n\n> Sweet little brother. It is time to rest...\nShut your eyes... and stay very, very still...\n\nYou are then given the prompt to answer yes or no to these... requests. With the game responding with these respectively.\n\n> You feel something crawling up your leg.\n\n> You feel something crawling on your neck.\n\nThis by itself is incredibly creepy and unnerving without much explanation. \n\nHowever, please allow me to put on my tinfoil hat for a second I had a thought while double-checking the Kickstarter trailer of Omori for this post. I noticed the first appearance of something is followed by the reflection of it within Omori's eyes. That is then quickly followed up with a reflection of a hand in Omori's eye then swimming by an intentionally very vague outline of an image. It does not outline the red for what it is worth but it is [Something] then a hand. Very loose connection to say the least but something to ponder. \n\nI almost don't want to supplant what the image right at the frames the hand is moving at and would like if people could find their own interpretation but I honestly see >!someone sitting on another's lap!<\n\nAlso gonna comment on 2019 build info. [tldr, a lot of 2019 August stuff found in version 1.0 on steam buried away with a lot of things similar to the final game.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuBci-5r5K4)\n\nHeadspace Mari is here and present in some picnics but not most. She is very much in the photos implied by the game and mostly seems helpful. (Plus helping with debug aspects but so is Basil handing out blackspace letters lol)\n\nHowever, I would like to emphasize that a lot of creepy Mari elements that are fully implemented into the game. \n\nIncluding the honestly most creepy and cryptic of all known as Mari is Home. Which apparently can be accessed on Alt route which is thought-provoking, to say the least. The fact that maybe the most horrifying of which is still around could say that creepy Mari was a definite focus that existed in the game potentially longer than wholesome headspace Mari. \n\ntl;dr\n\nWhile none of this is particularly concrete information for what might have been, I think all together this paints a very consistent and elaborate picture that the Mari that we know and love today is not the Mari that was around for most of Omori\031s life. \n\nThanks for taking the time to read this borderline ramble/excuse from being productive and let me know your thoughts!
## 67 I'm in uncharted territory here\n\nI typically stay by the book: meet girl, set date, wait till she texts then set next date, etc\n\nI meet this chick 3 days ago, set a date in person and met out with her the next day. We walked our dogs and kissed at the end, nothing crazy. I tell her to text me\n\nShe invites me out with friends for trivia night at a local bar. I'm a recovering alcoholic but she doesn't know this. Plus, wtf meet her friends after 3 days? I'm thinking she's suggesting this to "cock block" me into friend zone, or show me to her friends to get their approval. Idk... I felt it could go bad. Maybe a lot of pressure.\n\nBut who am I? Why am I scared of meeting some chicks friends? Because I'm subliminally being outcome dependent? Because I feel I can't handle a group? Cause I want this chick to like me?\n\nYes, maybe those things. But fuck that. That's who I used to be. That's the pit I crawled out of. I know what to do. \n\nPlus, I want to reward and reinforce her texting me and wanting to see me. I want that foundation laid early.\n\nAnyway. Ringing in my head: "don't treat someone you're dating like your gf" \n\nOk so I'm going solely for myself. I know to work the group. She's just there for all intents and purposes.\n\nI get there on time but don't see her so I just sit at the bar and drink a root beer with a lemon. Talk to some chick ordering a drink next to me.\n\nI'm like fuck man, I fucked up. I don't see her, I imagine her sitting with her friends forgetting about me. But she texts me about 10 minutes after we were to meet asking where am I? So I say, I'm here find me. I want her to come over and get me rather than I just impose myself into the scene. She finds me and turns out her friends aren't here yet. Nice, better than expected.\n\nShe's sitting at a table with stools but I can't lean back on this thing so I go and grab a high chair with a back for body language reasons. \n\nWe talk a bit, I'm just treating her like a friend. Her friends show up, a dude and his gf and another dude. I go high energy and shake the hands of the guys and address the other girl. I keep my body language not facing my friend as I do not wish to stifle her with my presence. I'm turned more towards the group. They get drinks. Trivia starts \n\n\nI just get focused on the trivia and get hyped on getting the correct answers. I'm addressing the men mostly, sometimes the women. But I know I need to get "in" with the dudes. \n\nWell luckily for me they're all drinking about 2 beers each. So as the trivia goes on, it just gets easier to jive with these guys. I just ask questions and remain interested in the conversion topics. All smiles.\n\nSo I'm kinda unsure of where I'm at with my lady friend, because her body language kinda mirrors mine, very neutral. She's across from me.\n\nTrivia ends, and the couple start to get ready to leave. I see my friend getting her jacket so I'm like ok, let's see what happens now. I remain seated. The third guy is still there but he's getting ready too. Well the couple leaves, then the other guy eventually leaves as well. Nice. No cock block. My friend was there waiting for me to move so we walk to her car. \n\nWe're joking but she's standing close so I just grab her and we make out in like freezing temperatures. She asks "so so you still want to hang out? Not tonight but like in general?" Too cute. I tell her yeah of course. So, I walked, but she offers a ride. So I get in the back of her car like an Uber and she's all "nooo, get in the front!" Ok, ok. \n\nWe're about to kiss and I say what if I told you don't kiss me? As our lips are close. She goes you don't want me to kiss you? I say no. She pulls me in. Nice\n\nI think about inviting her up but she mentioned she can't hang out more tonight so I refrain from posing a situation where she says no to me. Not worth it right now. Too soon for any type of "no"\n\nSo I say kiss me one more time and she does. I tell her to text me (always tell her to contact you) and I get out and go upstairs.\n\nPretty good night. This chick is cool. Let's see when she texts me. My first experience meeting friends like this. Always learning.
## 68 I would like to make a weapon suggestion. Hopefully this is well received and makes its way to the dev team.\n\nA fediore gun that is kind of like a reverse of the eridium gun gun from borderlands 3. \nInstead of shooting items, it sucks them up like a vacuum. \034Hip-Fire\035 allows you to pick up white and green items. \034Aiming\035 allows you to pick up blues and purples. \nPicking up items adds to its \034ammo\035 count. \nWhite- 1\nGreen- 2\nBlue- 3\nPurple- 5\n*Chaotic and enchanted items add +1 to their amount.\n\n\034Reloading\035 tosses the gun in front of you (like fediore weapons do) and causes a lootsplosion. Giving a bunch of money and a chance at a legendary, based on how much \034ammo\035 was in it.\n\n\034Why is this needed?\035 \nThere is tons of loot left out every time, and collecting all of it to sell is obviously impossible, as far as cash purposes. This gives a good way to clean them up and toss some coin in the Fatemakers pocket. Even if it\031s not full price, it\031s something. (The vending machines don\031t fill themselves.) Could be a good red text for it.\n\nAlso, in my experience, even with a high loot luck (9000) i don\031t get legendary items all that often, which I WOULD be fine with as BL3 had way too many of them way too often. However, when I do get them, they always match to my friends builds, and almost never to mine. I inevitably go on extended chaos room runs by myself to fix this and comb through TONS of loot, trying to catch up to them in power, but it seems I am unable. The addition of this item would give me an extra chance to obtain what I\031m looking for.\n\nI know it\031s a long read, but I tried to make sure it was well thought out before I pitched it. *pun intended.
## 69 hi i'm a gay guy and i've been working with this guy and we got really close and flirted over text a lot, i never asked his sexuality and he never asked for mine but we\nsorta just clicked. we hung out today for the first time outside of work and we watched a movie, it was great but we didn't like flirt or do anything which is like okay but i expected us to at least hold hands or something. maybe i'm crazy but idk i really need advice. he's really\nsweet to me and i'm already over thinking assuming he doesn't like me
## 70 Hi there! We at r/math are trying to build a nice Hilbert curve to represent us, and have unfortunately been taken over by your flag. Would it be acceptable to build over your flag in a nice way according to ~~this post of mine~~.\n\nPlease and thank you! We are fully willing to communicate and collaborate!\n\nEdit: It appears r/trans has removed the truce post so I am copying the text of it here:\n\n>**r/place trans flag truce with r/math Hilbert curve?**\n\n>Hey there! r/math is currently trying to build our second attempt at a Hilbert curve and has been overrun by your impressively large flag. Would folks here be willing to allow us to build on the left side of the flag with the blue-pink-white stripes as background?\n\n>An alternative idea that I could pitch to them might be embedding the curve within the flag but in alternating colors. So on blue stripes the curve would be white, on pink stripes the curve would be blue, and on white stripes the curve would be pink.\n\n>Edit: [Here is the most recent r/math post](https://www.reddit.com/r/math/comments/tui3co/new_hilbert_curve_in_rplace/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for folks here to communicate directly with us. My personal thought is that the best looking option would be my second paragraph starting at the top left corner.
## 71 This is gonna be my first trip report ever so sorry if its not very typical. Im gonna do a trip report of my trip and try to explain my friends trip a bit.\n\nThis all took place like 4 days ago. Me and 3 friends, lets call them Chris, Bam and Chanel (not their real names), planned on tripping on some LSD at Bams place. Chris had the LSD and had to work till 4 at that day. So in his lunch break we met up and he gave me enough LSD to get me to 500ug Bam to 375 ug and Chanel to 200ug. On the way to Bams place i picked up 600 mg of DXM so that me and Chris could both be on 500ug of LSD and 300mg of DXM.\n\nSo now me, Chanel and Bams were just chilling at his place.\n\nEven tho Chris had to work till 4 we proceeded to simultaneously drop at 2:45 Pm.\n\n**T+1h:** \nBecause me and Chris dropped a fairly high dose it started kicking fast and hard and Chris asked me if i could pick him up from work because he didnt want to come alone because he would be too high to catch the right bus. So i did it.\n\n**T+2h:** \nChris's work is basically right in the city center and Bams place is fairly far when going by bus, so i finally arrive at the point we were supposed to meet and through the bus window i see Chris's big ass smile and i just know the we are already high as shit.\n\n**T+2:45h:** \nWe finally arrive ad Bams place and start tripping hard, it was a nasty day it was snowing a bit it was cold as shit and just wet. so we mostly chilled inside besides smoking cigarettes. We planned on taking the DXM at the 3 hour mark so i put it on the table.\n\n**T+3h:** \nI told Chris he should take out his part of the DXM, what would've been 10 pills and i went to the toilet. We already done LSDXM a couple of times but never with this high of a dose of LSD. I assume Chris got confused and stupidly took all of it. This Motherfucker. I came back from the toilet and saw a completely empty pill storage and asked where mine where, Chris was already so high he couldnt really communicate. I dont know why but i could clearly think and Chris was basically so out that he took all of the pills. From that point on Me and Bams already knew this would be a stressful night.\n\n**T+4h:** \nMe, Bams and Chanel were smoking outside. Chris would've been smoking with us but he was already gone, ego deathing hard as fuck. i was looking inside to keep an eye on Chris, i see him taking a glass of water and accidentally spilling it on his pants. In his state he freaks out because of the water and strips off his clothes, form the stomached own he was nude lol. He was still freaking out and running around in the house, if you have ever tried to hold someone tight against his will, ego deathing, you know how much actual power there is in a human being. Me and Bams put him in a separate room and i kept an eye him. Chanel is a girl so naturally she thought Chris stripped nude because of her and i was the only one who saw what actually happened.\n\nBams and Chanel are a couple so naturally they together went upstairs, called me and told me to clean up and keep an eye on him because Chanel couldnt be around him anymore so that wouldnt happen again. Dont forget i was also tripping fucking balls at this point, i tried to explain what really happened but that shit was hard not gonna lie.\n\n**T+4.30h:** \nI cleaned up the mess Chris made, put his pants and underwear in the washer and gave him some new ones. Chris calmed down and i put a series that he was watching on his phone on, he \ncertainly didnt understand shit from the series but it calmed him down a lot. Chris is seriously addicted to nicotine so in his ego death state he wanted cigs all the time, so i just gave him one but didnt light it and that also calmed him down. I finally managed to explain what really happened and Bams and Chanel came back to us because being alone with an ego deathing person is boring as hell.\n\n**T+5h:** \nSome couple other friend came around. they were all one some Valium and weed and other shit (sadly their basically addicts). we hung out listened to music and Chris was just wondering around like a zombie basically, saying random fucking words. At one point Bams was chilling on the couch and Chris proceeds to sit on him put a leg on him and say: "aye pericoooo" obviously we laughed so fucking hard at that because that guy isnt even from Spain XD. \nI also sold the last 2 Tabs of acid to one of the guys for 20 Bucks so we could go buy cigs.\n\n**T+6h:** \nThe other guys left and now its just me, Bams, Chanel and Chris again . \nMe and Bams did a modern warfare 1v1 on King with spr only (for anyone that is interested) and i completely destroyed (25 to 8) him even tho i was on 500ug of LSD and could barely talk correctly. \nWe chilled listened to music and just tripped basically.\n\n**T+8h:** \nI dont Know how anymore but we realized that Chris was slowly coming back from his state. He was still tripping harder than any of us but he was responsive at this point.\n\n**T+9h:** \nWe asked Chris what the actual fuck happened to him and even why he took so many pills and he didnt know shit. he couldnt remember why he took so much or anything. He couldnt even remember that there were other people than us four at some point. Shit was divinely wild in his head. He repeatedly wanted me to promise him that we never do that shit again and i agreed instantly because keeping an eye on him wasnt fun either.\n\n**T+10h:** \nWe watched the Lil Peep documentary and proceeded to just chill out. At some point me and Bams went to buy cigarettes and we did some smoke breaks.\n\n**T+12h:** \nAt this point it was almost 3 am so we decided to go to sleep, i gave everyone a melatonin pill and said good night.\n\n**T 7:30 am:** \nI was the only one who had to go to work the next day so with 5 hours of sleep i cleaned up a bit and left for work. So sadly i couldnt talk to the sober Chris and let him explain everything a bit more clearly to me. \nSo yeah 500ug of LSD and 600mg of DXM is a lot. I texted with Chris and mentally right now hes doing completely fine and is just sad he couldnt "be with us" on that evening.\n\nthanks for reading lol
## 72 My name is Mark, I've been a detective for ten years and I've seen many things that would keep the most grizzled man up at night. Last night my partner Terry was murdered in the interrogation room and.... I don't know how to feel about it or how to start.\n\nSo a month ago Terry and I were givin orders to check out a murdered couple a few miles away. It was strange off rip. There were no signs of forced entry or even a struggle. The stiffs died at the kitchen table still holding hands with a plate of French fries and a half eaten burger. They were young, like really young early twenties at the latest. There were two holes in the back of their heads indicating they were executed.\n\nTerry: Ayo Mark! Do you see this?\n\nTerry points to the heads of the kids.\n\nMe: Yea, they were executed why?\n\nTerry: Isn't it a little odd they didn't have an exit wound?\n\nMe: Low caliber pistol like a .22 maybe.\n\nTerry: We better just let the coroner run an autopsy on them to be safe.\n\nMe: This isn't first time we've seen this Terry but you're right I trust ya.\n\nIn my line of work you have to trust your partner with your life. Terry was the most lovable and honest man I know. When he had a gut feeling ninety nine percent of the time this man was right. Everyone loved Terry, Hell the whole town loved Terry. We packed up and left seeing there were very little evidence at the scene so we let the beat cops clean up the evidence that was there and we headed back to the station. Terry and I sat down to eat lunch and talk about our life. Him and I were very close so we talked a lot.\n\nTerry: Hey man, I got a question.\n\nMe: (mouth half full of a pastrami) what's up?\n\nTerry: Do you plan what you want to do after this? Like when you retire what did you want to do?\n\nMe: Well, I never really thought of that. I've always been in the spur of the moment kinda guy.\n\nTerry: I have a plan. My wife and I will travel the country in an RV just exploring the states.\n\nMe: That sounds awesome Terry. I guess I will just sit at home and watch tv most of my life.\n\nTerry: Well that's the thing bud. My wife and I wanted to know... would you like to come with us? We got a two bedroom RV and everything that I'm ready paying on.\n\nMe: Oh hell yea! I'll bring my fishing gear and we can all just have a blast then.\n\nWe talked about this a little longer. Martha and I were old friends from high school and I met Terry when she introduced me to him. We were friends ever since. We went to the academy together, trained together and Terry even took a bullet for me once.\n\nAfter I was done eating Terry and I were filing out our paper work when suddenly the chief came in and asked us two to come into his office. The chiefs name was Ervin was a tall man but the biggest teddy bear there is. Once we got in we sat down in his leather chairs. He had a wax burner on and it smelt like maple wood and honey suckles, this was my favorite wax smell too.\n\nErvin: Alright guys.. you know the bodies you checked out today? Well the coroner came back and there holes weren't bullet holes.\n\nTerry: Haha I knew it Mark! You owe me fifty bucks\n\nMark: I knew I shouldn't ever doubt you.\n\nErvin: Guys this is serious.. The holes were drill holes. The drill was 1/4 inch but the strangest thing is the brain was missing large amount of mass. Whoever killed this couple is a sick fuck. I called around and asked the couple towns over and they said they had a similar incident with another young couple. So we may be dealing with a serial killer.\n\nTerry: Fuck...\n\nMe: Jesus christ...\n\nErvin: Don't let anyone in the public know about this. We don't want widespread panic and we don't have any leads at all. But here's the other case file so compare and contrast the two.\n\nTerry and I in unison: On it chief.\n\nWe both walked out and began working on this case. We spent all night at our desks looking for possible suspect around the tri state area. But we didn't make any connections. Who ever this guy was covered his tracks perfectly. Not a clue left at the scene of the crime or anything noting who they were. He was a professional...\n\nThe next day I got into work and Terry was there talking to Jennifer who was also a detective. Kind and young woman. I had a bit of a crush on here but my job was so demanding I never had time to ask her out.\n\nTerry: Heyo Mark! Jenny here made some breakfast bratwurst with eggs and pork. These are amazing Jenny thank you!\n\nMe: Sweet! I'll try one.\n\nJenny: Hey mark (Jenny said with a smile on her face) We haven't spoke in a while. Maybe after work tonight we can go on a date and I don't know ... watch a movie\n\nJenny was visible blushing and I can tell she was nervous. My heart was racing and was beating out of my chest..\n\nMe: Uhhh sshh...sure\n\nTerry: Atta boy!\n\nMe: So I will swing by and pick you up around 6pm tonight?\n\nJenny: (visible happy and even a larger smile) Hell yes! I mean... uh that's a great time.\n\nI grabbed a bratwurst before she left and skipped down the hall like a school girl. She always been a bit childish but when it came to work she was such a hard worker and had an immense focus to her. I kinda fell in love with that..\n\nTerry: Hey markkkk. You're blushing bro.\n\nMe: Wha.. what, no I'm not... shut up\n\nWe both laughed and began talking about our night. While we were talking the chief came by and said that there was another report. Another young couple but this time they were in their own bed. We got to the scene and as usually nothing was out of the ordinary except breakfast in bed was Ketchup with eggs.\n\nTerry: Oh gross! Who eats ketchup with eggs...\n\nMe: Well it really ain't that bad. I tried it a few times\n\nTerry: Well damn, guess we can't be partners anymore\n\nMe: Oh shut up dork.\n\nThe couple were older then the last and again their names will be spared from this. But both were male and bout early thirties. Same thing happened here, drill holes in the back of the skull that was 1/4 in and smooth. I have a hard time believing these two men would just lay there and let this happen. Terry spoke up..\n\nTerry: There is no way someone would just let them get drilled in the back of the head. These men here were pretty fit. I mean his muscles are larger then mine.\n\nMe: I was thinking the same thing... What could it be...\n\nTerry and I: The eggs!\n\nWe quickly put on gloves and poured the eggs into a medical baggy so our lab to run tests maybe find a type of poison. We quickly got back and noticed a pattern we didn't see before. They all were eating food in the morning.\n\nTerry: I know this is new but we should totally name this killer a funny name\n\nMe: Oh shit! Yea, uh what about "The Breakfast Bandit"\n\nTerry: ooo ooo ooo how about "The Meal Monster"\n\nMe: No no no "the cravings killer"\n\nTerry: That's the one!! Condiment Killer it is!\n\nWe joked a bit while we waited. I know it seems heartless to joke about this since people died but in our line of work we see dead people all the time. It's doom and gloom 24/7 here. So any bit of light and any bit of hippieness we can get we take. I digress, the forensic team radioed us to come to them since they did find something. The person who was lead of the forensic team. Young kid named Llyod. Smart and shy but knows a lot of things that I don't understand like science and math.\n\nLlyod: Good.. you guys I did find something in the eggs it is ethylene glycol. A sweet tasting poison that's oderless and colorless.\n\nMe: Well, how does one even get ahold of this? We can cross examen who has purchased this stuff.\n\nLlyod: Well that's the issue. Ethylene glycol is found in antifreeze however the ethylene glycol we found was extremely concentrated.\n\nTerry: Well, I guess we will just cross examen who bought anti freeze and see if anything matches up.\n\nMe: Well I hope not many people needed antifreeze this month.\n\nA lot of people needed anti freeze last month... It took over 50 hours and 6,000 people to narrow down. We spent the next week questioning everyone on the list and it still.... got us no where. We got to our desks on a Friday night feeling defeated. While were waited Jenny came to us and asked.\n\nJenny: Hey you guys I know it's been rough, soooo I made you guys some meat pies. These are my grandmas recipe.\n\nMe: Thank hun! You're amazing\n\nTerry: Oh yea you are!\n\nOne of the worst nights I have ever had but the food she makes is so good it's sinful. Moments later the chief came in and asked to speak to us in private. So we walked into his office and we sat down to talk. This time he had some Seabreeze scent, not my favorite but still good.\n\nChief: So we were told there was another killing same MO however..... the were flayed like livestock it's a mess.\n\nMe: What.... It's the same then?\n\nTerry: Dear god.... who would do this?\n\nChief: A sick fuck... Just can you go out there and do your thing... I need to rest.\n\nWe got to the site and when we go out of the car we could smell it. Rusty iron filled the air as we entered the home. To our right was the living room and you can tell this one hurt... There were blood on the floors and walls and some viscera hanging from the ceiling. It looked like a fuckin' bear attack. We got to the kitchen and I had to run out of the house to vomit. I cleaned my face, caught my breath then got back in.\n\nThere was a body (at least what is left of the body) strewn across the kitchen floor. Body parts were all over the place however there was not any signs of struggle again. Closer look at the skull shows the 1/4in hole in the base of the skull. Something about this sent chills down my spine it just seemed demonic in nature... I cannot stand the smell in here. I can taste the blood in the air.\n\nTerry: Hey Mark.. I found something\n\nMe: What's did ya find?\n\nTerry: A pen.... but its from our precinct this may have been an accident... however whomever did this would know we are investigating this... We need to keep this to ourselves we don't want anyone to know in case we can finger the suspect.\n\nMe: Yes... Put this in a bag I will text the Chief. We can trust him\n\nTerry: My stomach is telling me he's safe\n\nAs per usual the scene was clean other then the one we found. No prints and no evidence just blood and gore. We got to the precinct and started the paper work. The chief came by our desk and asked if we found anything. I looked around and whispered\n\nMe: We found a pen that's from our precinct with dried blood on it. Perhaps the person dropped it while lifting the body or moving it.\n\nTerry: We sent the food found into forensics team to check it out too.\n\nChief: We must keep this on the down low. Only we may know this.\n\nI have to preface this, Jenny and I got serious like very serious.. She moved in after the 3rd date and we've been love birds since. I got home and Jenny instantly jumped on me to welcome me home.\n\nJenny: Hey Babe I missed you!\n\nMe: Missed you too love. It's been a hard day at work and I can't figure out who is doing these.\n\nJenny: Well. Any leads?\n\nMe: I found something.... at the scene but I haven't seen anything else?\n\nJenny: Wait... what was it?\n\nMe: I can't say but it's nothing special to be honest.\n\nJenny: Well guess what! I got you a special dinner! Meat loaf, you know your favorite. I even added a homemade ketchup to the top.\n\nMe: I'm not hungry I've been elbow deep in blood and viscera all day.\n\nJenny: Oh I understand. I'll save it for Terry\n\nWe got to bed and cuddled. My brain kept me awake fearing who in the site was the killer... who could've done such a sick and twisted act. My mind was racing and spinning and with all the stress I ended up passing out. I had a dream that night it was strange but could've been relevant to the case.\n\nIn my dream I woke up in a white room. It was illuminated with a soft glow but it was bright enough to fill the room. On the floor was a thing layer of water that was so still it looked like a mirror. This room stretched infinitely on all sides. I decided to walk through the endless expanse and after a certain amount of time the water started to turn black like ink. The whole room expanded in this black ink and a cold chill ran up my spine. I shapeless figure rose from the black ink and stood there. Shortly the ink was removed and revealed a white demon like creature with elongated arms with thin lips. This thing has no eyes and holes for ears. It opened it maw to speak\n\nThe Void: I am the void... I am the end.... I am starving... Your story is delicious...\n\nIt walked closer and my fight or flight was completely shut down and I was frozen still. It got closer and shoved it's sharp and nasty fingers into my collar piercing my flesh and lifting me up until I was facing it face to what ever the fuck it had.\n\nThe Void: hahahaha your fear is ecstasy ... keep being afraid child.. I will become strong enough to invade the throne of heaven... usurp the angels .... for I have seen the throne of god and he has abandoned you....\n\nIts mouth opened wide and slowly started to fit it around my head... and CHOMP. I felt its rotting teeth piercing through my flesh. It's serrated edged teeth sliced my neck muscles inch by inch... I was trying to scream but all I could do is gurgle the blood lodged in my neck... I can feel his hands pull down on my body and my neck was stretching until I hear my muscles pop as the tendons made a sick snapping sound.\n\nThen I woke up in a cold sweat... I grabbed my neck and .... it was ok.. The dream felt so real... like I was killed in real life. Jenny saw me while she was getting dressed.\n\nJenny: Hun are you ok? You were crying in your sleep and said my name?\n\nMe: Yea.... it was just so real .... its ok I'll be ok\n\nJenny: Well let's get to work and I'll bring my meatloaf.\n\nWe got everything together and headed off to work. I kept thinking who could it be... who was it? I got to the station and was talking to Terry who was smashing the meatloaf Jenny made. I still felt nauseous from last night so I opt out of it. We were all filing paper work when Jenny asked\n\nJenny: Hey.. I seemed to have lost my pen... Can I borrow one of yours?\n\nMy heart sank... It can't be her... please god anyone but the person I love..Terry got up and handed her his pen. I texted the chief Jenny didn't have her pen and he told us to detain her NOW. So I stood up and nodded to Terry and he nodded back knowing what must be done. The chief walked in as we were arresting Jenny.\n\nJenny: Babe what is going on??\n\nChief: Jenny.... we have suspicion you are the Condiment killer.\n\nShe went without saying a word. During interrogation Terry walked in and I watched from behind the glass.\n\nTerry: Jenny why? Why do this\n\nJenny: I don't know I was just.... obsessed with death.. I can't stop thinking of it..\n\nTerry: What did you do to the bodies... How did you poison them.\n\nJenny: Well the poison was easy to do... I just mixed it in with their condiments like mustard or ketchup etc. I then take the brains and mix it with my recipes.\n\nTerry: Wait you're telling me?\n\nJenny: yes... you and Mark and the rest of this place were eating people HAHHAAHAHAH\n\nShe began to laugh evilly. It sent chills down my spine and made me physically sick... how could someone do this.. We ate humans... god save us.\n\nTerry: I think this is... done..\n\nTerry paused to catch his breath.\n\nJenny: Let me ask you something.. Terry. If you had ketchup that was a little to sweet and tickled your tongue would you stop eating? If you ate chicken wings and the hot sauce made your the back of your throat burn in an unusual way... would you question it..\n\nTerry: (coughs up blood) yo...you bitc...\n\nJenny: Tell me Terry, do you know what poison tastes like\n\nI started to run and open the door as fast as possible.. It was locked so I was fumbling my keys.... I was so scared to lose my best friend... my partner.... By the time I got in there Terry was foaming at the mouth and convulsing... Jenny was still laughing... like a maniac... To this day I cannot eat any food unless I made it... I lost everything because of that bitch... Please check your food because you don't know what poison tastes like.
## 73 \n\nI, 26M, dated a girl for a few months. I used to act up against her and throw tantrums when she would be distant. This was because, I had found out that she was involved in a sexual exchange over the internet with one of her male friends, and it bothered me a lot.\n\nThere were times when she would be distant, and I would act up, and freak out. We broke up a couple months ago, and right after that, she began to ignore my calls and texts. I was in an emotional state of mind, and tried calling and texting her multiple times in different apps, hoping to have a romantic/caring conversation with her. However, this made her really angry.\n\nCouple weeks later, I found out that she was speaking to another guy. This made me very upset, and I went to a mutual friends' group and said some nasty things about her, and slandered her. I was emotionally overwhelmed, and wasn't thinking straight. Someone from said group sent her screenshots, and she filed a NC complaint against me online.\n\nAfter this, I had to submit a written statement, saying that I'll never contact her again, and the cops said the case was closed. However, when a friend of mine reached out to her, she said that she will not withdraw the complaint, and it will remain in the system.\n\nI'm freaking out because my dad's no more, and I really need to support my mom. I'm preparing for interviews but I've become severely upset and depressed because of the enduring anxiety. I've been requesting my friends to talk to her and ask her to withdraw the complaint, but she's been telling them how I caused her a lot of trauma, because of which my friends have stopped speaking to me.\n\nPlease help, what can I do in this situation? Reaching out for support.
## 74 I was discharged yesterday at 2p.m. and I am home now. The last thing my abusive ex tried to do to me is get my approval to support his new habit of smoking meth/speed. He actually grabbed my hand and got teary eyed and tried to make me understand how this will help him, and that he would not get addicted. I see now that he had been smoking meth for quite some time. He had lost a lot of weight. I couldn't take it anymore. On March 13,2022 he had convinced me to go on a scenic drive and ended up accelerating the vehicle as I begged him to stop as he had a crazy look in his eyes and told me " I don't think so". I thought that was it for me. He had been abusing me since 2017. The trauma I endured is enough to make anyone go crazy. I know that some of you are going to say negative comments, but until you are in a situation like mine-you don't know anything.\n\nI had loved this man. He was the only somebody I had in my life that was my best friend. I am estranged from my siblings so I had no one else at the time. The first four years of the relationship was a dream and he was a gentleman. I had moved last year to get away from him and he continued to reach out, claiming he would change and get the help that he needs, which I thought meant going to therapy and getting on the rights meds for his anger problems. He even went as far as offering a promise ring to show me he was serious. I had been dealing with my depression by drinking and taking edibles to numb myself. He knew I was vulnerable and weak. He decided that he didn't want to do that and ended up self-diagnosing himself with ADHD. He tried to manipulate me into agreeing that amphetamines like Meth will help him, even going as far as taking me to the library to show me books of information on it. SMH. After he asked for my unwavering support I couldn't take it anymore and took a Lyft home crying the whole way. I thought about everything he had done to me ( physical, emotional, economical abuse), and how he must think I am an idiot because I was still giving him my attention. I must be really stupid to have tolerated everything up until now. What is wrong with me? I sat in my apartment with all the lights off contemplating ending my life. Something inside me said go, go now to the other side ( death and the spirit world) has no worries and no pain, but there will be a little pain to get there.\n\nThen, I got a phone call and it was my friend who lives out of state and she knew something was wrong so I told her. she convinced me to go the ER and tell them exactly how I was feeling. I hesitated for a bit, then decided to go. It was late and I don't have a working vehicle so I made the 30 minute walk to the ER. As I walked he texted me that he needed to borrow 50$ for food. I couldn't believe it. Here I was thinking suicide and he knew I was distraught and still he asked me for money claiming it was for food, knowing he had a fridge full of food. He wanted drug money. I was admitted right away and then stayed at an in-patient clinic. I was safe and away.\n\nI was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I had never taken meds before for anything and was given two different medications and omg what a relief. I didn't realize how much he had put me through. He is a sick and twisted disgusting abuser. I had Nurses, a Psychiatrist, a social worker, and a full staff listening to me, and making sure that I was supported and safe. I am so happy I sought the help I so desperately needed. I am happy that I am alive. I AM strong, otherwise I wouldn't be here. My next step is telling my dad where I've been and hoping he'll understand. We're talking later on today. Thank you for reading my story. It wasn't easy to type this out but I needed to tell. I hope this helps someone out there.
## 75 I\031m just angry about who I am. Or rather, how I act. Especially impulsively. \n\nI\031ve been in ptsd therapy for more than a year now. I put in all the effort. She says I\031ve come a long way. Thats great n all, but the parts of me that still remain, are such a bother. I try to show compassion to the child that was seen as a humiliating failure to most, but I still sit here screaming at it for existing. \n\n\034Why did you do this? Why did you fuck up AGAIN? Look what you\031ve done. You\031ve upset someone. All you had to do was stay quiet like everyone else can.\035 \n\nI saw a coworker of mine at work today who usually does my job when I am on my two days off. I hear people talk about him and how good he does at my job that I\031ve done longer. He boasts to me how much extra work he gets because THEY trust him with it. \n\nSo&When I saw him today my brain went into a frenzy. Paranoia. \034*They\031re teaching him how to take your job. You\031ll be fired soon. You screw up so much. They\031re so sick of you. They like him better.*\035\n\n\nSo I impulsively texted my boss and asked what he was doing here. My boss, who needs to remind me 24/7 that not every time he speaks to me will result in something negative&..proceeds to scold me for asking and said I need to worry about myself and not others. \n\n\nI do all the therapy work yet there\031s still nothing that proves that I didn\031t just fuck things up. \034*Look at how he spoke to you. I wish he could show us patience because he knows we struggle with mental disorders. But no. It\031s easier to blame you instead. Because ultimately if you had just shut up and stop impulsively running your mouth, he wouldn\031t be upset with you.*\035\n\n\n\nI feel like no matter what I work hard to fix about me, it\031s not enough. This knee jerk reaction to blame myself for everything wrong is so ingrained in me, there\031s no way to turn it off. \n\nI just wish I could never speak again& I wish I could hide from everyone like I used to. At least then, I couldn\031t blame myself for anything going wrong since I didn\031t physically do anything&*then again me doing nothing could mean I didn\031t do enough to fix a situation that I could have fixed&*
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sharing|[PayPal](https://imgur.com/undefined)|$0.20 if register [here](https://www.loadteam.com/signup?referral=DTVP35EU09)|\n|[Kryptex](https://www.kryptex.org/?ref=84be7ccf)|Crypto mining|[Bitcoin](https://imgur.com/i4YyOIc)|/|\n|[Ebesucher](http://www.ebesucher.com/?ref=Proim)|Surfing, reading mails|[Bank transfer](https://i.imgur.com/CJ9s7DR.png)|/|\n|[IPRoyal](https://iproyal.com/pawns?r=BeermoneyGlobal)|Desktop bandwidth sharing|[PayPal](https://imgur.com/qpjuU0i)|/|\n|[Earnapp](https://earnapp.com/i/4y9fjjr)|bandwidth sharing (Windows/Android/Linux/Raspberry Pi)|Pending|/|\n|[ProHashing](https://prohashing.com/?r=vf4nWfdM)|Crypto mining|Pending|/|\n|[Gener8](https://refer.gener8ads.com/r/D0lkxi)|Browser extension|Pending|10 tokens if register [here](https://refer.gener8ads.com/r/D0lkxi)|\n|[LazyBucks](https://lazybucks.co/?usr_ref=a70da13883bb28a4)|Rent out your Facebook account|Pending|/|\n|[HideoutTV](https://hideout.co/viewerSignup.php?refer=138625) and link to [Reward XP](https://rewardxp.com/beermoneyglobal) to cashout|Videos|[Paypal](https://imgur.com/gallery/s3nn29M)|/|\n|[LootUp](https://lootup.me?refer=138625)|Surveys, Videos, Offers, Prizewheel|[Paypal](https://prnt.sc/1m69tu2)||\n|[Honey](https://www.joinhoney.com/ref/94vmdb0)|Discounts & Cashback|/|500 Honey Gold if register [here](https://joinhoney.com/ref/94vmdb0)|\n|[Fitplay](https://r.fitplay-app.com/campaign/affiliate/4653baa7276a4917a2e2e7efdb0ceae1?channel)|Games|Pending|$0.33 if register [here](https://r.fitplay-app.com/campaign/affiliate/4653baa7276a4917a2e2e7efdb0ceae1?channel)|\n|[Mistplay](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mistplay.mistplay&hl=en)|Games|[Giftcard](https://ibb.co/47dvDZt)|/|\n|[Money SMS](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.moneysms.demo)|Receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[McMoney](http://www.mcmoneyapp.com/)|Receive SMS|Pending|$0.22 if using code '60LGG3PR'|\n|[SMS Profit Net](http://smsprofit.net/)|Receive SMS|[PayPal](https://i.imgur.com/Qbt1YuB.png)|/|\n|[Simcash](https://simcash.io/)|Send SMS \\[risky\\]|Pending|/|\n|[Cash4sms](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cash4sms.android&hl=en)|Send \\[risky\\] & receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[ControlMySMS](http://www.controlmysms.com/)|Receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[Birdchain](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.birdchain.app&referrer=ZhCwixrh4K)|Send SMS \\[risky\\]|Pending|/|\n|[COIN](https://coin.onelink.me/ePJg/390ce205)|Explore|Pending|1000 coins if register [here](https://coin.onelink.me/ePJg/390ce205)|\n|[Panel App](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sewichi.client.panel&hl=en)|Surveys, location sharing|Pending|/|\n|[Phoneum](https://cryptotreasures.page.link/VyRJsCg2mkREWgUT6)|Games, mining|[warning](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/obf8l9/the_list_of_global_beermoney_opportunities_200/h5f9ili/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)|/|\n|[Unmineable](https://unmineable.com/)|Crypto mining|Pending|/|\n\n&#x200B;\n\n## Crypto (faucets, mining, GPT)\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Cointiply](http://cointiply.com/r/A8p7Q)|Faucet, surveys, tasks, offers, videos|[Bitcoin](https://i.imgur.com/kgekp6W.png)|Enter code 'beermoneyglobal'|\n|[FreeBitcoin](https://freebitco.in/?r=1597468)|Faucet, lottery, betting, passive interest|[Bitcoin](https://i.imgur.com/ZwXVuwr.png)|/|\n|[DutchyCorp](https://autofaucet.dutchycorp.space/?r=Proim)|Faucet|[Several coins](https://imgur.com/a/IpkT5qa)|[See details here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/npnz9g/i_made_over_200_on_dutchycorp_in_nearly_5_months/)|\n|[Permission.io](https://my.permission.io/signUp?referralCode=3XZ79E)|Watch videos, shopping,|Pending|/|\n|[RollerCoin](https://rollercoin.com/?r=kjpej51p)|Play games & earn crypto|Pending|/|\n|[Kryptex](https://www.kryptex.org/?ref=84be7ccf)|Crypto mining|[Bitcoin](https://imgur.com/undefined)|/|\n|[Blockreward](https://blockreward.app/?r=50127e93a2)|Apps, surveys, videos|[Bitcoin](https://imgur.com/SCSarc1)|$2.00 if register [here](https://blockreward.app/?r=50127e93a2) and earn 20000b + $2.00 if earn 10000b within 30 days|\n|[ProHashing](https://prohashing.com/?r=vf4nWfdM)|Crypto mining|Pending|/|\n|[AdBTC](https://r.adbtc.top/1707779)|Click ads, active window surfing, autosurfing|Pending|/|\n|[FireFaucet](https://firefaucet.win/ref/Proim)|Faucet|Pending|/|\n|[PipeFlare](https://pipeflare.io/r/ah02)|Play games, staking, airdrops|[Proof](https://ibb.co/thrZpD0)|/|\n|[Faucetpay](https://faucetpay.io/?r=170706)|Faucet Wallet, exchange, offers, tasks, trading|Pending|/|\n|[Faucet Crypto](https://www.faucetcrypto.com/ref/268882)|Faucet, ads clicking, offers, shortlinks|Pending|/|\n|[More Money](https://moremoney.io/?ref=245798)|Faucet, ads clicking, offers, shortlinks|Pending|/|\n|[BTCSurveys](https://btcsurveys.com/ref/Proim/)|Surveys|Pending|/|\n|[BetFury](https://betfury.io/?r=5fff1281bd7e16c8f63dd542)|Betting, faucet|Pending|/|\n|[Quicrypto](https://quicrypto.page.link/FDf5)|Surveys, tasks, offers, games, videos|Pending|/|\n|[BitShark](https://bitshark.io/r/179290)|Faucet, games|Pending|/|\n|[Publish0x](https://www.publish0x.com?a=olejROn5ej)|Read & write articles|[Crypto](https://imgur.com/TcqMXde)|/|\n|[Starbits](http://starbits.io/?r=3MeMHPp7aDbzKsgxp1RtU2rTWAgHaJKFa1)|Faucet (need [FaucetPay](https://faucetpay.io/?r=170706) account)|Pending|/|\n|[Coinpayu](https://www.coinpayu.com/?r=Proim)|Ads clicking, videos, offers|Pending|/|\n|[Coinbase](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/gj0y9w/signup_bonus_coinbase_free_crypto/)|Crypto sign-up bonuses|[Bank transfer](https://i.imgur.com/xRt5loX.png)|See links in [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/gj0y9w/signup_bonus_coinbase_free_crypto/)|\n|[LBRY.tv](https://lbry.tv/$/invite/HYSAxhJQVNi63kKPiukBF24HFeDv8h9x)|Watch videos|Pending|/|\n|[Pi Network](https://minepi.com/Proim)|Crypto mining|Pending (see [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/PiNetwork/wiki/index))|To join you need a [referral link](https://minepi.com/Proim)|\n|[EarnCrypto](https://www.earncrypto.com/earn-free-bitcoin/?r=419183)|Data entry, surveys, offers, tasks, videos, games, apps|Pending|/|\n|[Phoneum](https://cryptotreasures.page.link/VyRJsCg2mkREWgUT6)|Games, mining|[warning](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/obf8l9/the_list_of_global_beermoney_opportunities_200/h5f9ili/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)||\n|[Idena](http://www.idena.io/)|Captcha solving|Pending|/|\n\n## Mobile\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Cointiply](http://cointiply.com/r/A8p7Q)|Faucet, surveys, tasks, offers, videos|[Bitcoin](https://i.imgur.com/kgekp6W.png)|Enter code 'beermoneyglobal'|\n|[HoneyGain](https://r.honeygain.me/YOSHIAF7)|Desktop & mobile phone bandwith sharing (wifi + data)|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/JZx1WwO.png)|$5.00 if register [here](https://r.honeygain.me/YOSHIAF7)|\n|[Google Opinion Rewards](https://googleopinionrewards.page.link/share)|Surveys|[Play Store credit](https://i.imgur.com/M39cVwC.png)|/|\n|[FreeBitcoin](https://freebitco.in/?r=1597468)|Faucet, lottery, betting, passive interest|[Bitcoin](https://i.imgur.com/ZwXVuwr.png)|/|\n|[Earnapp](https://earnapp.com/i/4y9fjjr)|Bandwidth sharing (Windows/Android/Linux/Raspberry Pi)|Pending|/|\n|[AppKarma](https://xkr.ma/CyAZTAp0P6)|Games, quizes, surveys|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/6iXWKr1.png)|Enter code 'Proim' for 300 points when [signing up](https://xkr.ma/CyAZTAp0P6)|\n|[CashKarma](https://cashkar.ma/asqeT6I4V6)|Surveys, offers, games|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/2O4MUjQ.png)|Enter code 'Proim' for 300 points when [signing up](https://cashkar.ma/asqeT6I4V6)|\n|[Cash Alarm](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=online.cashalarm.app&referrer=eyJtY29pbnNfY2FtcGFpZ24iOnsidHlwZSI6ImFmZmlsaWF0ZSIsImF0dHJpYnV0ZXMiOnsiaGFzaCI6IjY5ZWY2OTRjYTFiYTQxMmJiNmEyZDMwYTA5Y2UxYmYyIiwiY2hhbm5lbCI6IiIsImNsaWNrRXZlbnRJZCI6MzcyMTI2OTl9fX0%3D)|Games|Pending|Receive 25% of my earnings if register [here](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=online.cashalarm.app&referrer=eyJtY29pbnNfY2FtcGFpZ24iOnsidHlwZSI6ImFmZmlsaWF0ZSIsImF0dHJpYnV0ZXMiOnsiaGFzaCI6IjY5ZWY2OTRjYTFiYTQxMmJiNmEyZDMwYTA5Y2UxYmYyIiwiY2hhbm5lbCI6IiIsImNsaWNrRXZlbnRJZCI6MzcyMTI2OTl9fX0%3D)|\n|[Cash Magnet](http://cashmagnetapp.com/?refId=iLGjMU)|Games, offers, tasks, videos|Pending|/|\n|[AttaPoll](http://join.attapoll.com/mvxoa)|Surveys|Pending|[PayPal](https://imgur.com/fdu2Kzd)|\n|[ClipClaps](https://s.clipclaps.tv/i/2372999638)|Videos, games, raffles|[PayPall](https://i.imgur.com/dUvN8zK.png) (cashouts have gotten very difficult, do not recommend anymore)|$1.00 & Diamond Chest if register [here](https://s.clipclaps.tv/i/2372999638)|\n|[Quicrypto](https://quicrypto.page.link/FDf5)|Surveys, tasks, offers, games, videos|Pending|/|\n|[Poll Pay](https://pollpay.app/)|Surveys|[PayPal](https://i.ibb.co/BNVqrqH/poll.png)|$0.30 if using code '4CS6L4SQ8D' when [signing up](https://pollpay.app/)|\n|[BuzzBreak](https://buzzbreak.news/?_branch_match_id=723985297357923083) [(warning!)](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/obf8l9/the_list_of_global_beermoney_opportunities_200/h6byx3l/?context=3)|Read news, videos, offers, surveys|Pending|Enter code 'B06472489' when [signing up](https://buzzbreak.news/?_branch_match_id=723985297357923083)|\n|[Userlytics](https://www.userlytics.com/)|Software testing|Pending|/|\n|[WowApp](https://www.wowapp.com/w/proim92)|Games, offers, surveys, videos, chat, phone unlock, calling, cashback, shopping cashback, browsing, news reading|Pending|/|\n|[CuriousCat](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pawoints.curiouscat)|Surveys|Pending|/|\n|[Quickthoughts](https://www.quickthoughtsapp.com/)|Surveys|[Giftcards](https://i.ibb.co/6vz1bqz/quick.png)|/|\n|[Fitplay](https://r.fitplay-app.com/campaign/affiliate/4653baa7276a4917a2e2e7efdb0ceae1?channel)|Games|Pending|$0.33 if register [here](https://r.fitplay-app.com/campaign/affiliate/4653baa7276a4917a2e2e7efdb0ceae1?channel)|\n|[TV-Two Make Money](https://tv-two.com/money/2eea3342a4166d72)|Apps, games, Youtube, browsing|Pending|555 credits if register [here](https://tv-two.com/money/2eea3342a4166d72)|\n|[Mistplay](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mistplay.mistplay&hl=en)|Games|[Giftcard](https://ibb.co/47dvDZt)|/|\n|[FeaturePoints](https://featu.re/Z393KB)|Suveys, offers, apps, cashback|[PayPal](https://i.ibb.co/3hXbHnp/feature.png)|50 points if register [here](https://featu.re/Z393KB)|\n|[Money SMS](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.moneysms.demo)|Receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[BIGtoken](https://invite.bigtoken.com/85ESphmCjxy1zBGb7)|Suveys, location sharing, social media account|Pending|Use code 'GMGALLOIA'|\n|[McMoney](http://www.mcmoneyapp.com/)|Receive SMS|Pending|$0.22 if using code '60LGG3PR'|\n|[Pi Network](https://minepi.com/Proim)|Crypto mining|Pending (see [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/PiNetwork/wiki/pi-wiki))|To join you need a [referral link](https://minepi.com/Proim)|\n|[BeMyEye](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bemyeye.app&hl=it&gl=US)|Mystery shopping|Pending|/|\n|[Roamler](https://www.roamler.com)|Mystery shopping|[PayPal](https://i.ibb.co/BNcy1nc/roamler.png)|/|\n|[SMS Profit Net](http://smsprofit.net/)|Receive SMS|[PayPal](https://i.imgur.com/Qbt1YuB.png)|/|\n|[Streetbees](https://www.streetbees.com/become-a-bee)|Surveys, tasks, create videos, take pictures|Pending|Enter code '6115GF' when [signing up](https://www.streetbees.com/become-a-bee)|\n|[Simcash](https://simcash.io/)|Send SMS \\[risky\\]|Pending|/|\n|[VoxPopMe](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.voxpopme&hl=en)|Video feedback|Pending|/|\n|[Cash4sms](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cash4sms.android&hl=en)|Send \\[risky\\] & receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[Citizen Me](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.citizenme&hl=en_GB)|Surveys|Pending|/|\n|[ControlMySMS](http://www.controlmysms.com/)|Receive SMS|Pending|/|\n|[Birdchain](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.birdchain.app&referrer=ZhCwixrh4K)|Send SMS \\[risky\\]|Pending|/|\n|[Sweatcoin](https://sweatco.in/)|Walking|Pending|/|\n|[COIN](https://coin.onelink.me/ePJg/390ce205)|Explore|Pending|1000 coins if register [here](https://coin.onelink.me/ePJg/390ce205)|\n|[Panel App](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sewichi.client.panel&hl=en)|Surveys, location sharing|Pending|/|\n|[GiftHunterClub](https://www.gifthunterclub.info/?id=1444567&code=QGHB1K)|Surveys, offers, videos, apps, games|Pending|$0.75 if register [here](https://www.gifthunterclub.info/?id=1444567&code=QGHB1K)|\n|[Phoneum](https://cryptotreasures.page.link/VyRJsCg2mkREWgUT6)|Games, mining|[warning](https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyglobal/comments/obf8l9/the_list_of_global_beermoney_opportunities_200/h5f9ili/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)|/|\n|[Coin Pop (Android)](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=company.coinpop.coinpop&hl)|Games, offers|Payment proof [1](https://i.imgur.com/zqSeAWr.png) [2](https://i.imgur.com/b8GZkLO.png)|/|\n|[Cash'em All (Android)](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=online.cashemall.app)|Games, offers|Payment proof [1](https://i.imgur.com/Z1Y1Qeo.png) [2](https://i.imgur.com/4B26ish.png)|/|\n\n## Research\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Respondent](https://app.respondent.io/r/yoshidelaey-940900df1dfe)|Interviews, research, surveys|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/CREbhBP.png)|/|\n|[Prolific](https://app.prolific.co/)|Surveys, research|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/tsqy5n1.png)|/|\n\n## User testing\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[TestingTime](https://app.testingtime.com/r/rec-af-rTQeLtLH)|Software testing|[Paypal](https://imgur.com/Xmirzsa)|/|\n|[uTest](https://www.utest.com)|Software testing|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/hzvriM7.png)|/|\n|[PingPong](https://hellopingpong.com/become-a-tester/?r=z87n)|Software testing|Pending|/|\n|[TryMyUI](https://www.trymyui.com)|Software/UI testing|Pending|/|\n|[Testbirds](https://nest.testbirds.com/home/tester?t=7c09b163-a4bf-40c3-a062-4f026fdc6af6)|Software/UI testing|Pending|/|\n|[Pulselabs](https://pulselabs.ai/panelists/)|Voice app testing|Pending|/|\n|[PlaytestCloud](https://app.playtestcloud.com)|Game testing|Pending|/|\n|[Userlytics](https://www.userlytics.com/)|Software testing|Pending|/|\n|[Enroll](https://enrollapp.com/)|Software/UI testing|[Paypal](https://imgur.com/4Ar5sPx)|/|\n\n## Selling (designs on merchandise, skills/gigs)\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Fiverr](http://www.fiverr.com/s2/f127591454)|Sell your skills|Pending|20% off on first purchase if register [here](http://www.fiverr.com/s2/f127591454)|\n|[Redbubble](http://www.redbubble.com/)|Sell your designs|Pending|/|\n|[Zeerk](https://zeerk.me/kxAeE)|Sell your skills|Pending|/|\n|[TeePublic](https://www.teepublic.com/)|Sell your designs|Pending|/|\n|[Teespring](https://teespring.com)|Sell your designs|Pending|/|\n\n## Transcribing/Translating\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Rev](https://www.rev.com/freelancers)|Transcribing, captioning, foreign subtitles|[Paypal](https://i.imgur.com/fcVdTLK.png)|/|\n|[Gotranscript](https://gotranscript.com/transcription-jobs/r/1383840)|Transcribing, translating captioning, foreign subtitles|Pending|/|\n|[TranscribeMe](https://www.transcribeme.com/transcription-jobs)|Transcribing, translating, data annotation|Pending|/|\n|[Unbabel](https://unbabel.com)|Translating|Pending|/|\n\nInvesting (revenue share)\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[PaidVerts](https://www.paidverts.com/ref/Proim)|Ad clicking, offers, revenue sharing|[Bitcoin](https://i.imgur.com/q83sWQw.png)|/|\n|[MyTrafficValue](https://www.mytrafficvalue.com/ref/Proim)|Games, investing|[PayPal](https://i.imgur.com/AvoQOcy.png)|/|\n\n## Others\n\n|Register here|How to earn|Payment proof|Sign-up bonus code|\n|:-|:-|:-|:-|\n|[Wealthy Affiliate](https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/order/signup?a_aid=9f92d89b)|Learn affiliate marketing|Pending|/|\n|[Brave](https://brave.com/kqr352)|Brows 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## 77 Mike\031s last minute audit of his financial contributions didn\031t inspire Ximena to resubscribe to Mike, so he\031s packing his shit and going to the hotel as directed. He asks if he can come by the next day to see if Ximena\031s mom has fallen any further into the Mama Asuelu moat of GIVE ME MONEY, and maybe by then someone will feel sorry for him. \n\n\034I have a disease,\035 Mike apps. \034It\031s called I\031m a werewolf. Once you calm down and think about it rationally, you\031ll understand why every full moon you\031re a gold-digger.\035\n\nXimena options are: a.) Say no, and listen to a remix of the same tantrum, possibly paired with a fresh refusal to leave, and escalating violence, or b.) Ask him to call her tomorrow. She goes with option B, as most people would who have experienced this kind of shit before. \n\nMike calls the next day and Ximena tells him he can\031t come by, because Amazon has finally delivered the razor wire she ordered for home security, and the neighbors are waiting with torches and sharpened garden tools. Mike nearly collapses in a swoon over this injustice, and says goodbye to everyone over the phone, while insisting he deserves more than farewell-at-a-distance from his purchased family.\n\n Mike insists that if they reunite it\031ll be on the back of Ximena\031s groveling, so the next scene is Mike messaging her in the middle of her 90DF interview. Ximena\031s interest renews with whatever he texts, so she calls him. Mike seizes opportunity, and insists they shouldn\031t break up over \034one big fight,\035 and promises they will have a house in the US, and a house in Colombia, and they can imagine who lives inside from the safety of grandpa\031s attic. \n\nXimena knows this is the drumroll to him reminding her that she\031s financially dependent on him, and anything he offers will be added to the gold digger file by the next full moon. Mike insists that won\031t be the case, and he was just angry and said some things he\031ll say again the next time he\031s angry. Production asks Ximena if she\031s actually considering this shit, and she says she doesn\031t know, while her mom makes weepy eyes while clutching a microwave. \n\nGino is trying to make it to the airport without stepping on another one of Jasmine\031s mood mines, which explains his affinity for track shorts.\n\n\034The stakes are pretty high, because if I step wrong, I\031m losing a leg,\035 Gino explains. \n\nJasmine sobs over what happened to Mahogany\031s hair, and Gino tries to pack faster than Jasmine can unpack. Jasmine marvels over his nut-hugger underwear, and Gino says he only planned to wear them 10,000 years ago, when this season first began and they were somehow talking about babies. Eventually he reaches the airport, and Jasmine is a mess, but imagines she\031ll somehow survive the horrors of seperation. \n\n\034I am like what would happen if Gone with the Wind, a telenovella, and the DSM-V rolled around at an orgy, and everyone got pregnant,\035 Jasmine sobs. \034I am what Elijah always dreamed of for himself.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t bring up the prenup,\035 Gino swallows a fart, and returns to his regularly scheduled yoinks. \034It\031s hard. You can only reschedule your flight three times, and I\031m on a budget.\035\n\n\034Right now I feel so detached from reality,\035 Jasmine is a one-woman quote machine. \034I can\031t get into Gino\031s suitcase. But I will not curse science for ruining so many lives, because it has also given us so much.\035\n\n\034I don\031t even know if she\031s acting,\035 camera #1 isn\031t sure which award to nominate her for. \034But she\031s the most interesting person I\031ve gotten to film&ever. And it was all at resorts with no one else around. Can we come back?\035\n\nMemphis and Hamza are ready to advertise successful completion of this trip\031s to-do list with matching t-shirts. Her tshirt warns that \034wife\035 isn\031t crossed off yet, so outsiders should approach this as something akin to an active shooter situation. Hamza is a mess over her looming departure, because he still has feelings, and Hayet starts crying to show us who he got them from. \n\nThey head to the airport, and the whole route Hamza is worried, sad, and anxious to arrive in the US before his child is born.\n\n\034You with me is happiness,\035 Memphis says. \n\n\034Please, do not ask your mother\031s advice on this relationship,\035 Hamza knows this is his only hope. \n\nMahogany is on the run, and Ben chases her to the getaway car. M\031Hog makes a desperate bid to banish him and accidentally spits, *God bless you!* instead of *the power of Christ compels you*, which throws a wrench in her escape. \n\n\034I\031M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY HEART!\035 Ben auditions for an 80s teen movie written by a sixty year-old pervert. \034DON\031T PLAY DEAD! IT ISN\031T FUN THAT WAY! RUN! RUN LIKE A GAZELLE! I SAID RUN!\035\n\n\034Put the camera down and HELP ME!\035 M\031Hog forgets she doesn\031t speak English, but the crew remembers they don\031t believe in souls. \n\n\034STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND READ MY PAMPHLET!\035 Ben dead-birds the glass. \034WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU, MEOWGANY? I DIDN\031T GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO LEARN YOUR NAME TO ONLY GET TO SAY IT ONE TIME!\035\n\n\034I don\031t have to read your pamphlet! I can choose to read something else!\035 M\031Hog tries to powerlock the doors. \n\n\034I\031m not going to get in,\035 Ben has been reprimanded for following a woman into a car before. \034But I want to assure you that it\031s not my fault you\031re afraid. You\031re being paranoid, when I\031m just trying to trap you for a little mandatory alone time.\035\n\n\034It is your fault I\031m afraid!\035 Mahogany looks to the producers for a weapon. \034What the FUCK, even the Hunger Games gives you tools!\035\n\n\034I think you\031re neglecting what\031s already available to you,\035 Reddit\031s active prepper community knows it\031s their time to shine. \034First, are those baton shoes, or is there a dagger hidden in the heel? Just a blunt force instrument? That\031s fine. Jam it into his eye or the base of his skull. While he\031s screaming (if you go for the eye), punch him in the balls, and then what do you still have? That\031s right. A second shoe.\035\n\nM\031Hog\031s strategy is to tell the driver to take off while Ben is still in pursuit.\n\n\034Don\031t do this. I will simply roll, get up, and start running after the car. You\031ve seen Terminator 2. You know what I\031m talking about,\035 Ben bens. \n\nM\031Hog opts to risk it, and the driver floors it. \n\n\034I DIDN\031T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS FRAGILE!\035 Ben is a human yikes.\n\n\034At the Tell-All I imagine people will have some questions about why I didn\031t grab her by the arms and shake her around like a ragdoll,\035 no one is wondering that, Ben, but thanks for triggering everyone with PTSD. \034Can I use Shaun\031s MUA, or do I have to bring my own?\035\n\nFourteen minutes ago Usman left Kim at the airport, which is enough time for him to get cracking on wifey #2, and Zara has been ID\031d as an ideal candidate. Since his swarm of frothing female fans are allegedly responsible for tearing their relationship asunder, he beats them back with a machete just before placing the call.\n\n\034Hello. Wearing this SojaBoy necklace from Kim is how I will ascend to villain status, which is my only chance for a third season,\035 Usman is himself.\n\n\034You know I don\031t do fake love,\035 says the totes authentic Zara, here to aw shucks on the right coy. \034I was sad when we broke up. We used to talk every day while Kim complained you were always on the phone. We\031d laugh, we did everything.\035 \n\n\034That\031s everything?\035 Usman yammys. \n\n\034Did you text?\035 Ben thinks it\031s never too soon for advice.\n\n\034You know we had to be apart long enough for me to get a laptop,\035 Usman is ever-smooth. They remain torn about getting back together, while Kim exists in a relationship somewhere, all by herself. \n\nAND NOW, it\031s time for Tell-All Part 1!\n\nShaun: Hey everyone! My name\031s Shaun, and I am a clone of the previous Shaun, and this is a dress we share. Who knows the punchline to THIS joke: How many racists does it take to constitute a hostile work environment?\n\nGino: (Chews face)\n\nShaun: Gino, hi. I was a big Bell-Biv-DeVoe fan, too. \n\nGino: Now you know. \n\nMike: Yo \024\n\nShaun: Mike, can you hear me?\n\nMike: Yes I \024 \n\nShaun: That means you\031re too close. Keep moving your chair back. Further&keep going&keep going further&\n\nMike: I\031m in the road!\n\nShaun: But you can still hear me, Mike! HAMZA!\n\nHamza: Hello, I am in America, and this season I am the best looking. \n\nShaun: That\031s true, so I\031m going to need you to have a seat next to Memphis\031 breasts. This will be my safe space. \n\nHamza: Mine also. \n\nJasmine: Baby, take off the hat so you can be in the good looking competition. \n\nMike: You\031ve got to take it off, buddy.\n\nGino: I\031m a fuck monster, I can cover my body in starfish and fling myself into the sea. The defense rests.\n\nMike: What\031s a fuck monster?\n\nJasmine: This is not for you to know. \n\nShaun: Hang on, let\031s go back to bullying people out of anxiety. Gino, the hat, amirite? This feels weird. I\031m better at wincing like everyone around me is a cunt-punch.\n\nGino: We\031ve established I\031m strange and impulsive, and once again you threaten my head woobie. \n\nJasmine: That is because I am the one who is volatile, and you are the one who is creepy. This is sexy to me. \n\nBen: I would not describe myself as creepy or threatening. Now, allow me to detail how to masculine.\n\nShaun: Did you say mescaline, because that makes sense.\n\nMahogany: It\031s not safe to give him attention. He is patriarrrrrrrrchy as a person.\n\nShaun: Ben, am I safe? Are the others safe? \n\nBen: I don\031t understand. What\031s an others? \n\nShaun: Like, other people. Who exist. Even if you can\031t see them. \n\nBen: I don\031t see why they would exist if I can\031t see them.\n\nProduction: Ben we\031re gonna need you to see other people. Preferably not as your subjects.\n\nBen: Is this about the homeless orphans that shared a poison cup with me after I selflessly put out the diaper fire at their transient camp, and humbly offered my own teat for them to sup from? I had no plans to join the Fun Punch Bunch, but I take full responsibility for being selfless. \n\nJasmine: No, it is about the part where you are a pervert. \n\nShaun: Lisa, hi. I can\031t imagine what you\031ve been through. Let me know if you need the name of a good exorcist. I see one after every Tell-All.\n\nLisa: Will this exorcism in any way interfere with his divine quest for an unsullied, youthful queen to sire his do-over family? Either way, please give me the name. \n\nShaun: Hang on, does anyone have children on set?!\n\nKim: Jamal is here. \n\nShaun: Can we give him special glasses so he can\031t see Ben?\n\nProduction assistant: What, with like, a douchebag filter? You know our budget is $16 and a twelve pack.\n\nShaun: Did I ask you to be poor? AND WE\031RE BACK. Ben, just like, whatever. Don\031t make me talk to Mike.\n\nBen: Kim pursued Usman kind of aggressively. That\031s a bro thing, bro.\n\nKim: What?\n\nBen: I used this in a sermon when I was a youth pastor. Men are basically predators. \n\nKim: Did he say \030men\031 or \030Ben\031, because only one of those works. \n\nBen: Men are like lions, and women are like gazelles. You don\031t want them to just lay down. That isn\031t fun. You want to play with your food.\n\nJasmine: I watch a nature special once where killer whales do this with a seal, and it was very upsetting.\n\nShaun: Ben, are you saying that you\031re trying to have sex with what you eat? There are so many drunk songs mocking the Scottish for this. \n\nLisa: Female lions hunt. It does not surprise me that Ben doesn\031t know this. He probably got lost somewhere around the mane. \n\nBen: Would I ask dinner if it wanted to be eaten? Now, let me start over with today\031s lecture, *Predator: Hunting a Woman Until She Forgets She\031s Meat.*\n\nJasmine: You must be very hungry, because you always seem to be dining alone.\n\nShaun: Jasmine, get me out of here. How many wigs do you have on?\n\nJasmine: All of them, Shaun. Do you think I leave any for the baldheaded exes of Gino?\n\nGino: Is this about to be about my hat again, because I\031m gonna need a trigger warning and an apology.\n\nJasmine: Give me the meat! I want the meat! It is so good I love it, I love your meat! The lioness will hunt, bitches!\n\nShaun: Can you keep this up for like, ten minutes? Microdosing was a mistake that can only be rectified with macro action. Have you ever used RSO as eyeliner? Shit\031s about to get weird. \n\nMike: Just have sex. \n\nShaun: See?\n\nGino: Generally, I prefer to have sex when I consent to it enthusiastically. \n\nShaun: Let\031s travel back in time to sex as a joyless duty&here comes the wavy lines and the mist&\n\nKim: I call it going after what you want. \n\nShaun: YOU\031RE STILL TOO CLOSE, MIKE!\n\nMike: I\031m using a walkie-talkie!\n\nShaun: (Give me that.) Keep going until you hear sirens! Over!\n\nMike: I\031m going to get a ticket for having a lawn chair on the freeway. Over. \n\nShaun: Zabbidy zabbidy zob! Over!\n\nJasmine: What the fuck, Shaun?\n\nShaun: I just need him to believe I\031m losing the signal. Stop it, Ben.\n\nBen: But I was just getting to the climax.\n\nKim: Is that why the temperature dropped?\n\nMemphis: Are we still talking about sex? Cause me need pee pee in my wee wee so Memphis go boom boom. \n\nElla: I know you guys want to get back to my cheating, so OKAY, I guess I\031ll fess up! I\031m not trying to BRAG, but if I reference a male friend, you should assume it\031s a dick-in-waiting. \n\nShaun: I\031m glad you\031re not trying to brag, because I\031ve been to Idaho, and I think all of you are related. Gino, have you ever sent an email?\n\nGino: Like, to someone else? \n\nShaun: Yes. To another person. \n\nGino: What, like, on the internet? \n\nShaun: That\031s right. \n\nGino: I mean, obviously. It\031s much easier to send nudes as attachments. I think. \n\nShaun: Did you ever message a member of the cast?\n\nGino: My member, or like, to say hi?\n\nJasmine: What are you asking, Shaun. Stop flirting with Gino. \n\nShaun: Look, Jessica said she messaged every cast member in a desperate bid for more airtime. Which one of you fuckers responded?\n\n Mike: I can\031t believe Nelcy didn\031t think of that. \n\nShaun: I can\031t believe she\031s going to be on stage later, since there\031s nothing she could possibly contribute. Here\031s Gino asking Jessica if she\031s Sicillian with a cowboy emoji. Really? This is the smoking gun guys?\n\nGino: That was the only emoji with a hat. \n\nJasmine: Jessica also send six messages to me. Enough about that bitch. We were talking about sex as duty? One morning I tell Gino that I will go to the gym first, and when I got back, he already play with his pee pee. \n\nShaun: Is it normal to go to the gym before sex?\n\nJasmine: On this latest trip, we only have sex one time. \n\nShaun: Is it because you were at the gym? Someone call the sex police. \n\nSex police: Ma\031am, we\031ve been supervising this entire season.\n\nJasmine: Masturbation is cheating!\n\nSex police: Alright, we\031re taking you in. We can\031t have anyone standing in the way of safety. Do you know the sort of madness masturbation restriction inspires?\n\nProud Boys: Let\031s put it this way, a bunch of us are in jail.\n\nGino: Okay, my pants-boner spit up. It happens when you have a stripper grinding on your face, RIGHT JASMINE? REMEMBER?\n\nShaun: I\031m sorry, I\031m confused, am I feigning outrage over the amount of times Gino and Jasmine had sex, or the masturbation thing? What year did we travel back to?\n\nJasmine: Women don\031t need to wank and I\031m TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR MEAT GIVE ME YOUR MEAT. \n\nShaun: Gino, what\031s a sugar baby? \n\nGino: Kim and Usman. \n\nShaun: No, to you. \n\nGino: Mike and Ximena.\n\nShaun: I find it surprising that you would pay for sex!\n\nGino: Really?\n\nShaun: But you pay for it?\n\nGino: Shaun this is called entrapment.\n\nShaun: Jamal can you come out here while we humiliate your mom?\n\nJamal: Okay. Yes, this is a strange relationship.\n\nShaun: What\031s strange about it?\n\nJamal: Really Shaun?\n\nShaun: (whispers) Is he your new dad? \n\nJamal: Shaun, as an adult child of 90DF, let\031s not pretend that Usman has any interest in me. This will shock none of the other adult children of 90DF, but this happens to my mom a lot, and she stopped asking me to call them dad three relationships ago. Usman? He\031s looking for a personal assistant and sponsor. Where is the love?\n\nUsman: Hang on, I haven\031t used that song lyric yet. How\031s this: Zara my baby yah yah, where is the love now girl, in dey love dey love dey yah yah. \n\nShaun: Keep singing, I can almost see your fans!\n\nMike: That\031s just me waving from the freeway. \n\nJamal: And I mean, who calls someone they\031re seeing a \034potential\035? That\031s disrespectful. Maybe isn\031t a title, it\031s a meh. \n\nShaun: He called Zara.\n\nKim: He did not.\n\nShaun: Let\031s take a look at this totally not rehearsed phone call that defintiely wasn\031t arranged from the very start, for fuck\031s sake.\n\nKim: I didn\031t know. I still don\031t know. Let me dab at my eyes while I find a way to blame Zara. \n\nUsman: You can also blame all women, and yourself for not trusting me! \n\nNicole: A beauty supply store is a great idea. \n\nJamal: Wow. Now you\031ve invoked the woman who takes photos of vegetables to show how much she\031s changed. \n\nMike: Actually, I accidentally invoked Nicole. \n\nNicole: It was the approval pictures. \n\nKim: I\031m upset. I need a minute. \n\nUsman: Kimberly, hold on. You\031re overreacting and you already agreed to this. Kimberly! You agree to be submissive! Kimbahlee! KimBAHHHHHHlee! This is supposed to hypnotise you! KimBAHHHHHlee! (Claps.)\n\nJamal: Wow. Why are you clapping at her like that?\n\nUsman: I am a musician you see!\n\nKim: You don\031t respect me.\n\nUsman: I don\031t have to!\n\nShaun: Jamal, can you stay? It\031s getting weird.\n\nBen: Does that work? Clap Clap Clap! M\031Hog? Can you crawl out of the screen? CLAP CLAP CLAP! I COMMAND you! CLAP CLAP CLAP!\n\nJamal: He\031s actually saying the word clap. \n\nBen: I\031ve got bronzer on my hands, and I didn\031t want to chance it. Did it work? Meowgany? M\031Hog? Hello? Okay, who turned off my microphone&\n\nNEXT WEEK: Jamal comforts Kim over her past and future mistakes, Jasmine tells Jessica that she\031s faker than Mahogany\031s filters, no one seems to call Mike out on anything, Ella cries in manufactured drama, Memphis and Hamza exist, Ben\031s advice column has a few critics, and Shaun says fuck it and just sprinkles outrage at randoms. \n\nThank you, Patreon supporters! patreon.com/fractalfay for those who feel so inspired.
## 78 It's the graphic designer's lament: encountering play materials for a game you didn't work on and thinking *but that's not the way I'd do it* and then whoops you've spent a big chunk of your Saturday redoing it all.\n\nDammit.\n\nSo I went and did that for the ten Sprawl playbooks. \n\nPart of what was particularly key for me was addressing an overall PBTA peeve of mine, where playbooks aren't organized strictly to keep one page the "during action, during play" interface, and the other page the "during downtime, during character creation" interface. \n\nThe original Sprawl playbooks tend to mix some of each onto each page and from past PBTA experience I knew this could mean a lot more players hunting for the thing they're thinking of, needless page-flipping, etc. (Like, the place to mark XP is not on the side that spells out the directives. From an interface perspective that's the wrong side for the XP tracker, because you're marking XP due to personal and mission directives during play/action time!) \n\nSo no great shakes here or anything, it's just more of a push to get the action interface consolidated past the session zero of character creation. Occasional compromises had to be made but I did my best (as far as unpaid for-self work goes). \n\nI also added some of my preferred touches, like making it clear what basic (and matrix) moves are available to each of the stats. Tends to minimize heads-down time at the table as folks try to figure out what their best and worst stats are relevant to. And I also wanted to mess with some of the typographical choices a bit, particularly at the fiddly minutia level that I'm not gonna bore you with here (tldr version: justification settings and other such things wanted finessing).\n\nYou can see the resulting playbooks here: [https://www.dropbox.com/s/mqmh0bb4mdjf0ar/Sprawl%20Playbooks%20Deadly%20Fredly%20Version.pdf?dl=0](https://www.dropbox.com/s/mqmh0bb4mdjf0ar/Sprawl%20Playbooks%20Deadly%20Fredly%20Version.pdf?dl=0)\n\nOf course, once I had that layout done, and we got through our session zero setting and character creation, I knew I could do better. \n\nThe real *general* problem with PBTA playbooks is that they're first and foremost a character creation guide that then *happens to get used* during play, rather than a deliberately-designed play interface. I don't really need to know what the moves, gear, and cyberware that I *didn't pick* are after character creation, and at the very least I definitely don't need to know what they are during play except during downtime and between-session stuff like advancement actions that would add more stuff to one of those lists. It also tends to leave very little room for those frequently found "take a move from another playbook" advances to get recorded, so things get messy fast if you're not just managing your playable character sheet digitally *without* the laid-out playbook as your core interface.\n\nSo with my generalized playbook layout in hand and my players' initial characters created, I could take a clone of that layout file and rework it so they're only looking at the things they actually selected during play. You can see what that looks like here for my 5 player group: [https://www.dropbox.com/s/0tgq0d4d1dvdy53/Sprawltimore%20Characters.pdf?dl=0](https://www.dropbox.com/s/0tgq0d4d1dvdy53/Sprawltimore%20Characters.pdf?dl=0)\n\nYou'll notice that things like their stats, links, and programs aren't filled in. That's because we have started the game in Miro ([www.miro.com](https://www.miro.com)) so these layouts are intended as the static background onto which I drop some text input areas to record the numbers and names. You get into our Miro board and the sheets look like this with all the bits and bobs dropped on top of them:\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/5o57lmuf2rr81.png?width=3378&format=png&auto=webp&s=a3db355d1ac48b3f47243d5e2e04ee9a8bcd63c4\n\nWhat sorts of for-your-own-game customizations do you do?
## 79 Me and my friend have been friends since the first grade but I\031ve been feeling like he\031s trying to slide in my lane. He has a girlfriend too and he made a comment yesterday about the soup she had. I don\031t know how he even found out this info she only mentioned that the soup she had was really good. What I got from that is that he\031s been talking to my girlfriend, but wait it gets worse. A bit ago me and him were at Batman, it was a really good movie but we both checked our messages a few times. So I look over at him and offer him one of my gummies and he\031s texting my girlfriend, like wtf man. I would understand texting your own girlfriend but mine? It didn\031t make sense too me. But wait, it gets worse. I ask him why he\031s texting my girlfriend and he said \034You don\031t have to be dating her to be a ladies man\035 what the fuck man. You don\031t have to be dating her to flirt with her? I think you do. This pisses me off even more because he has a girlfriend, he has one, but he talks to mine all the time. Haha, but wait it gets worse. Another time he brought up what house she was at, at the time she was at her dads house which is in the city. I was saying I wish I could go see her but her dad doesn\031t like me, for her mom likes me but she lives in the country. My buddy preaches up and says \034Yeah she\031s at her dads house this week\035 once again what the fuck. Why would you ask that? How do you know that? And today was the final damn straw. The teacher asked why she wasn\031t here and he said \034Oh yeah she has covid\035 and had mentioned it before like I was oblivious to it happening. AITA for interrogating him because of this? I think I might be the asshole because they might just be friends, or it just came up in conversation. Thanks for listening.\n\nEDIT: thanks for all the words, I\031m talking to him and her about it and I\031m gonna get to the bottom of it. I don\031t feel so crazy or obsessive anymore.\n\nEDIT 2: he\031s saying it\031s just what he does and he does it with everyone. Not to be a child but bro code states that you can\031t be funnier than your homie around his girlfriend. It makes me think if when she sends me photos laughing if it\031s because of him and not me.
## 80 I've been wanting to compile a list of slogans and lies that the network promotes to create and control followers. Hopefully the next time you hear them (if ever again) you'll recognize them for what they are.\n\nFeel free to put more of them in the comments. There are so many more!\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We don't want to draw a crowd!** \n\nIn-Deed, Action: Employ questionable SEO tactics to ensure the #1 Spot on Google. Employ classic approval and pressure tactics to make attendees invite friends, co-workers, neighbors and distribute a thumbs up and pat on the back. \n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We're an Independent Local Church!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: These are satellite organizations under the control of Steve. No real board, no voting rights of membership. No point. \n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We just want to be transparent about the Church's finances and budget.** \n\nIn-Deed, Action: Pastor points to slide with nothing on it, failing to mention anything. Tithe Target, and how far from the target... transparent. Expenses? Salaries? 5%?\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: Character over gifting!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: 'The Look' that Steve likes, and an undying loyalty to the latest apostle. \n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We're all about making real relationships.**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: Don't raise a question, or express concerns. If you do, I'll tell you it's best for you to go. If you decide to leave, you'll be unfriended and dead to me. I'll probably make up a story, or say you didn't make it.\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We don't do Fundraising, Jesus puts it on your heart to give!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: But we do tie your giving to your salvation status for the day. Are you even saved? Give me your Pizza money.\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We're not doing this to make money!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: We just happen to make plenty and the guy we all worship has a multi-million dollar compound, We make more than 80% of our attendees. We wouldn't dare spend money to support members, or programs- MINE!\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: Holy Spirit led!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: Wherever Steve tells them to go, or whoever Steve approves to do whatever.\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We want to be a multi-generational, multi-ethnic church!**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: Old Church'd folks can't possibly sit through our nonsense, and immediately see how we're manipulating and misrepresenting the text. They know more than me, and it's hard for me to deal with that. Get out Pharisee! \n\nThey have a different lived experience than me, it doesn't align with Ben Shapiro, Get out Victim! Wokey!\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We don't want Celebrity Pastors.** \n\nIn-Deed, Action: But please do treat me like a Celeb. We do want to be unquestioned, and for you to follow our every command. \n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We're a Bible based Church.**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: We follow Steve. We will continue to discourage Bible Study, Seminary, Outside Teachings, bash other Churches, and we won't make available or public our own teaching recordings. Prove it!\n\n**In-Word, Slogan: We believe in the Sufficiency of Scripture.**\n\nIn-Deed, Action: We don't want a church full of Bible Scholars. I'll ask Steve what we are to do. We discourage Bible Study, Seminary, other Churches, other Christian Communities, and anything that isn't blessed by the latest apostle.\n\nThe Network Pastors and Leaders are well versed in exploiting the rose colored glasses attendees wear when they consider a church. They say things that sound good and that might even be expected when attending a church, or meeting a Pastor. The problem is that they are double minded men, and are wildly inconsistent 'in word' and 'in deed'. \n\nMany of you have also had the opportunity to know Pastors closely, over the years you've undoubtedly found that these are some of the harshest, dishonest, most judgmental, manipulative, self-centered, and wicked men. You can probably recall that nasty comment they made about a member and supposed friend, or the oversharing on the personal issues of another person, or that judgmental comment about someone else's marriage.\n\nThey didn't choose the calling, they were 'special' and chosen. How can someone so special and chosen serve someone so common and average? They don't, they won't and they can't. \n\nEnter the CEO complex, and the pyramid structure that is The Network. This was just a sampling of all the slogans and lies that come along with a system that has these young men jockeying for position to be Area Coaches and Network Board Members, and flaunt and compare their tithe and attendance numbers among themselves. They're happy to employ these slogans to manipulate and grow their influence.\n\nCheers!
## 81 I ordered a 22 Impreza Premium in mid-January and the dealer told me it'd arrive in a few weeks.\n\nEvery 2-3 weeks I'd text the dealer for an update and get a response saying it'd be another couple of weeks. I'm not in a rush for the vehicle to arrive, but it's frustrating watching interest rates climb since then. I've been doing lots of research about the car during this time and have known that new Impreza orders halted a few weeks since then in order to catch up.\n\nAfter receiving a particularly lengthy text about how I should be patient and that there are "50 people waiting for me to back out of my deal" and "I am so lucky I got mine when I did", I had a bad feeling. I assumed I should've had a VIN by now and decided to call Subaru of America to see if I can get a better (rather a reliable) estimated timeframe for the car.\n\nI called Subaru of America and gave them the vehicle order number (VON). They opened a ticket and said they'd get back to me in "48 business hours." A week later, I called them because I didn't receive an update of any kind. The representative said the ticket got lost because it wasn't dated, but that they'd try and locate the order. I was put on hold and came back and asked about the trim and colors. Not a good sign. I was put on hold for a bit longer and she came back saying that they were unable to locate the car and asked for the dealership. After holding even longer, she said she talked to my dealer, the factory changed my order number for some reason, and that the car won't be coming until May. \n\nI asked her why the order number changed. If there was a problem with the car, you'd think the VIN or serial number or something would change. She said she didn't have that information but they are giving me a $200 service and parts coupon for my trouble.\n\nThe dealer texted me a few minutes later saying Subaru called and the car got moved to May.\n\nI don't care if there was a problem at the factory or if the vehicle got wrecked in transport or whatever. I don't entirely trust the dealer at this point. I talked it over with my family (since this is my first time purchasing a car) and they think the dealer sold my order to someone who needed it faster and was willing to pay more.\n\nI'm not as angry about the situation since I'm not in a huge rush and got a coupon out of it, but I'm getting frustrated about this experience. Do I want to buy a car from a company that lost both my ticket and my order? If I didn't call SoA, would they have even given me a car? It almost feels like they lost my order and put in a new one during the phone call. Even if there was a problem at the factory or they're really behind, why would the VON change?\n\nTL;DR: Ordered a car in mid-January, got frustrated and called SoA and they lost my ticket and my order.
## 82 I (40 M) have 2 kids (C 17 F) and (B 14 F). Their mother and I divorced when B was 2 and their mother moved to the US and i live in England. My daughters come over every chance they get.\n\nrecently my 17 year old said she wants to come live with me because her step dad and her had a very big fight and she didn\031t feel comfortable there anymore. My wife and i were through the roof and my wife spent 3 weeks decorating a room to C\031s liking. \n\nLast week when she got here i got a text from her mother asking me if i could not allow her to have a phone as a punishment. I thought this was ridiculous as she will be an adult in 11 months and while she is under my roof she will have all the freedom she wants. My wife agreed and gave C her old phone just until we can afford a new one. When we gave her the phone i think she may have messaged her mum because her and her stepdad have been blowing up mine and my wife\031s phone saying that we spoil her and she is going to think the world owes her something if we keep this up. I just shut off my phone (I didn\031t block them because of my 14 year old). We just ignored them and now people i don\031t even know are getting involved, like their friends and extended family. I think this is stupid because she\031s old enough and living with me but AITA?
## 83 I work as a cook in a hotel, and my days off vary weekly. If I'm lucky I'll get my schedule 3 days before the next week starts. (This isn't r/antiwork material, I love my job)\n\nMy fiancé and I want to go to the movies, but our schedules often conflict so we tell each other yhe situations. We don't live together due to family issues on both sides. With my situation, my mom is autoimmune with her own illnesses, which she refuses to tell me cause she "doesn't want me to worry about it" and my dad had a stroke last year which left him bedridden. I have no siblings, so it's up to me to help mom with dad's recovery. If she wants to go out, usually for groceries or church, I stay home and watch over him, no questions asked.\n\nSo, I got my schedule and scan my off days. I got Monday off, so I told my fiancé and he immediately got us tickets since he had that day off too. He got them for a 12:40pm showing since we wanted to beat the after school crowd.\n\nUnfortunately, the specific other day I wanted off, Thursday, I couldn't get. I needed that day cause mom told me she has an appointment, as do I for a physical. But her appointment is at 9am and it's an hour away and mine is at 3pm, after work. So, I told her, in the presence of my aunt and grandparents. The first thing she told me was, "Didn't you ask for that day, why did they still give it to you?"\n\nMe: "I did ask for it, I don't know why I'm scheduled."\n\nMom: "Well, call your boss and tell her you need that day off." \n\nIt was 8pm when I got this schedule, my boss texted it. Most likely she was home with her family, and the schedules are on her work computer. "It's too late to call her about it."\n\nShe groaned, "Fine, I'll just have to cancel my appointment. When's your next day off?"\n\n"I have Sunday, Monday and next Saturday off, why?"\n\n"Great, I'll go in Monday, maybe she'll see me then."\n\n"Actually, I..." I hesitated, I wasn't sure how to say it so I just asked, "how early are you going?"\n\nShe glared at me, "9am, why, is that a problem?"\n\nI tried shaking it off, "Uh, it's nothing, I just have a date at noon, though."\n\nThat's when she blew up at me and exaggerated out how she's just gonna cancel her appointment and might as well not make another one. I tried to reason with her, but then she just said that I'm selfish and have an attitude problem. My aunt just shook her head at me and my grandparents didn't say anything. I just let it be for now, went upstairs and to sleep.\n\nI'm at work right now, gonna talk to my boss soon as she comes in to try to clear the Thursday and pick up a shift on Sunday if I can. I am trying to compromise here, but AITA for making plans like this?\n\nPs. I just called my mom to tell her, and she actually apologized and told me is wasn't important... turns out her appointment was for a HAIR SALON... so, I'm fuming over this
## 84 Hello, I'm a gal who grew up in Lowell as a boy and want to express a meaningful moment in my life that was somewhat inspired by Jack Keroauc. I'm not asserting this even to be his legacy, but for me this event is his "legacy".\n\nI was in college dating an art student. She was an amazing painter and sculpture maker. But I sometimes distracted her from her studies to spend time with me. I maybe pushed boundaries because I was blinded by "love" which was merely an expression of my own poor definition of boundaries. So she started to do poorly in school and had to leave university. It wasn't entirely my fault. But it kind of was.\n\nBecause of the whole poor boundaries deal we continued long distance despite the pitfalls. But it wasn't the same. The farther apart we were physically the closer I felt emotionally. But as my affection waxed hers waned. She was meeting new different people in her hometown and her life was expanding while mine was shrinking. We weren't a match. At least not anymore.\n\nWe had to have a "difficult" conversation possibly a breakup conversation. We needed to talk. But I lived at home in Lowell. My walls were paper thin. My family would overhear me if I had the conversation at home. So I needed to get out of the house. I needed to be in the city. So to the city I went.\n\nLowell idolizes Keroauc which is ironic. The thesis of his lifes work could be read as "Lowell sucks! I'd rather hitchhike across the country with a bunch of sketchy dudes than live in Lowell". But Lowell sucks so they need someone to revere and it might as well be Jack Keroauc. Even if he is a monstrous pagan "writer" he brings in the hipster tourism, so even pious Christians find the thrill of God in the stories of his blackout drunk misadventures. Because they need to if they want their city to thrive. So they named a park after him.\n\nKeroauc Park is a "park" in the same way a zoo enclosure is a "theme park" for a lion. There wasn't a pastoral, transcendental aesthetic. It was from the Mill City of Lowell so its aesthetic was urbanity and the sterility of man's endeavors to control the world through technology. Keroauc would have despised this abomination of man asserting itself over the true life of nature and the divine. But it's named after him. That's his legacy even if it would immolate his soul just to step foot in it.\n\nThe primary fixture of the park are these large stone tablets. It looked almost like Stone Henge as a work in progress. Or the Vietnam Memorial. But instead of inscribing the name of your grandfather to honor his and everyone else's bravery. It was merely inscribed with short "inspiring" quotes. I'd assume by Jack Keroauc, but maybe by his critics instead. This is Lowell after all, they don't understand Keroauc which is why he wrote The Odyssey. Basically.\n\nYou could rub one out in the park. That is to say take a rubbing of the text inscribed as an artistic endeavor. Like a child coloring in the lines of a Harry Potter Gringotts coloring book. But that's not true understanding. That's just superimposing meaning on negative space. The "unfilled" white space is just happenstance due to the physics of how you performed your "rubbing". You see words and meaning because this "canvas" seems like it has those words imprinted upon them. But you might just be seeing patterns that don't exist. That poor fascimile you created with your rubbing might not even be the words of Keroauc, let alone God.\n\nSo I traveled to Hell to have a difficult conversation with God. Not really. But some bad stuff happened so it felt like Hell.\n\nI was having a pleading conversation with my partner in public. I projected weakness in front of wolves. And I got bit. Romulus offered me a light for my cigarette. He must be a nice guy. So he asked to borrow my phone and he would call his buddy and share some grass with me as a well deserved reward. Then Remus told me it was good shit worth the wait.\n\nI hardly had time to mutter a sigh of thanks before Romulus and Remus scampered off with my poorly made flip phone. It was manufactured for $0.25 in China. It wouldn't fetch $20 on the resale value on the black market. But they thought it was worth stealing. And I thought it was worth stealing back. It wasn't.\n\nI chased Romulus and Remus. But really Romulus. He had my damn phone. And I was going to get it back no matter what. My fingers awkwardly slipped on his collar in my best impression of Greco Roman wrestling. But eventually I grabbed hold of Romulus. He didn't seem to like that. "I've got a knife" he cautioned. But you're too much of a bitch to use it. My mind said. And my body listened to my mind. I finally got my blackberry back and now I could call my lover and taste the sweet nectar of fresh blackberry juice.\n\nSuddenly two massive boulders hit my face in a row. They cave in my nose and break a few orbital bones for good measure. I looked like Artie Lange despite never touching coke in my life. Remus had saved the day! For Romulus at least. Good blackberry juice is bitter afterall I guess.\n\nI now faced a dilemma. Find help and have them call 911. Or walk home to my family and have them take me to the hospital. I'd been mugged before at age 12 and last time calling for help was a fools errand. I had a severe TBI after being hit with a lead pipe by my best friend. So he could impress his gang daddy. The OG.\n\nI was suffering a severe head injury and I was a mere child. If head injuries made you less intelligent then I had negative intelligence. I had 0 brains as a kid already. Now my brain is injured and even worse? My IQ was negative infinity. And with that IQ my moral supposition was that Jesus taught of the good Samaritan. Therefore everyone who believes in Christ was a good Samaritan. Therefore I don't need to plead for help and beg for it. People are good and will stop and help an endangered child.\n\nWrong.\n\nI had to walk home alone. My head was bleeding so much I had to take off my white t shirt to soak it up. It turned red. Then eventually with time brown. From oxidation. The blood outside my body was getting more oxygen than my brain was.\n\nSo the second time I got mugged and was left bereft of phone, I decided the prudent option was to walk home. Besides I didn't want to get yelled at for sticking my parents with an "unnecessary" ambulance bill. Not that they'd say that. But I feared they would. So to me they did say that already.\n\nI stumbled home. My mind was both blank and infinitely active at once. I felt like Sisyphus even if I didn't know who he was quite yet.\n\nThe first thing my mother did went she saw me was clean the wound with soap and water. Wise woman. Until we got to the ER and I realized the error we made. If you walk into the ER a bloody mess you'll get seen fast. You clean the wound at home to decrease risk of infection and the nurse or doctor can't triage effectively. They don't know you've already lost a lot of blood so you look healthy if you aren't actively bleeding. You get seen after the guy who has burning urination every once in a while. His pain number is 10 compared to your 9. Wait your turn, guys whose brain is decaying like a human bit by a zombie. You're selfish.\n\nMy mother didn't help our cause when I finally spoke to the nurse. My Ma sat in the room while I described Dante's Inferno to Florence Nightingale so she could tell me whether my brain was broken. I was slurring my words like Stephen King at his daughters birthday party when he was in the throes of addiction. My brain was Frosty the Snowman and this nurse was a haberdasher keeping the magic in the hat alive.\n\nBut my mother thought my slurred speech was a guttual pattois of a piece with Cockney rhyming slang. She thought I was Robin Williams performing fake symptoms in a Scottish accent to stump and thus teach the doctor. To her I was the "cash me outside" girl treating lifesaving medicine like an episode of the Dr Phil show. A game.\n\nSo she spoke up and "clarified" that my slurred speech was an affectation not a symptom. That certainly changes the way you approach differential diagnosis. Rule out the slurred speech as a choice and maybe my brain isn't as damaged as it seems.\n\nSo when I think of Jack Keroauc I don't think great artist who changed the world. I think of a lonely kid like myself making bad choices to define meaning in a meaningless world. And he got out of Lowell, so I will be able to as well.\n\nI know this reddit post is a novel. But I'd love thoughts if you do read this. I'd appreciate ideas of other places I can share this. Don't think there is a Keroauc subreddit itself quite yet.\n\nAlso please if you engage with this. Be kind. I'm telling a story of a terrible thing that happened to me. But feel free to post whatever reaction you have. God bless
## 85 I'm not sure how to link my previous post, but it is still on my profile. \n\nI first want to clarify/answer some questions from the first post. \n\nPregnancy- Ali is not pregnant. Before getting married, we decided to wait until our careers were established for two years before we started trying for a baby. That would be next year. We are both very careful. Plus, I asked, and she said she wasn't. \n\nHer doing all the chores- She does not do all the chores. Before we moved in together, we made a list of all the chores that needed to be done. Then we flipped a coin and chose the chore we wanted, then we alternated on choosing the rest of them. She chose the first one which was cooking. She cooks, and I clean the kitchen. She grocery shops, and I put the groceries away and so on. So, even with the fight, she kept doing her chores, and I kept doing mine. Although I would fully understand if she stopped doing them altogether. \n\nMe apologizing- I did try to apologize multiple times, but she said she didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to give her space but should've tried harder. \n\nI read every single comment and private message; it was hard, but I asked for advice. I 1000% got what I deserved. \n\nNow, onto what I've done to begin fixing this mess I've made. \n\n- As some of you suggested, I wrote a heartfelt letter explaining myself and sincerely apologizing and begging her to speak to me whenever she felt comfortable. \n\n- She said she would go to the guest room, and I said no that I would go there because this fight was entirely my fault and would only return if/when she allowed me/felt comfortable. \n\n- I called my mom and let her know what I did. She rightfully tore me a new one. Then came by the next day with some gifts for Ali. She apologized for ever feeling that way and assured her that she didn't feel that way now. That she truly loves her like a daughter. They spoke more, but I wasn't privy to that conversation. \n\n- As some of you suggested, I made an appointment with a counselor so I can learn how to properly deal with my anger and not lash out at innocent people. On Reddit's suggestion as well, I printed out a list of marriage counselors in the area who accept our health insurance. I gave her the list and said that if she's willing to go with me, all she has to do is choose a name, and I'll do all the leg work. She said she's willing to go, and she chose a name. She works in the mental health field and chose someone who is reputable in our area. She already sees her own therapist and is working through this with her, I assume. \n\n-I was able to talk to her, and she said she was really hurt by what I said. That she was questioning what my family (especially my mom) and what I thought of her as a wife and a person. Like all the memories with my family are tainted now. Were they pretending? Was it just my mom? What are they saying behind her back during special occasions? If we have kids, will they think she's a bad mom, too? When my mom helps her with something, is it to be nice or because she thinks she's not capable? That she was angry, I didn't trust her with those concerns earlier in the relationship, so she could either address them with my mom or even see what I thought as well because she might have made a different choice about marrying into a family that had doubts about her. \n\n-She also said that she was already anxious about a hard day at work (she works in the mental health field, which can be stressful), and I yelled out of nowhere. She told me that if I had just communicated to her that I had a bad day and was hungry she would have just made me a snack and told me to chill while dinner was ready, but instead I just lashed out. Or if I had texted her earlier, she would've ordered me lunch or given me her card number so I could order something for myself. Also said it was about teaching me a lesson about what a quiet housewife looks like and that it's obviously not something I want. And that if it is, she's obviously not someone I'm going to get it from. So, to make a choice about what I want. I told her I just want to be with her. I don't want a housewife; I want her as my partner for the rest of our lives. I just felt like a complete ass because I just had to communicate, and she would've been there for me. I had no right to hurt her. She was a partner, and I was a dick. \n\n-As you guys also suggested, I have been taking over her chores (as well as I can because my cooking is definitely not as good as hers) and spoiling her with her favorite things and foods. I'm spoiling her even more than she spoils me since she loves giving little just because/thinking of you gifts and doing sweet things to make my life easier. I've also been doing things like drawing baths, serving her favorite juice (she doesn't drink at all) lighting candles, and playing her favorite crime podcast so she can relax when she comes home from work. She even asked me to join her on the last bath. She said she was glad we were working on things. No promises , but we'll keep working together and see what happens. \n\nI obviously fucked up here. I'm still trying to fix it, and I'm hopeful. It's not all unicorns and rainbows, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to repair and rebuild what I ruined. If it ends up not working, then I'll know it's because I was a big ass who didn't properly communicate and didn't keep his mouth shut. \n\nAny other questions I'll try to answer. I just got overwhelmed last time and before I knew comments were locked.
## 86 Non-english speaker here. Quick question, a character of mine is telling a long-ish story. \nSo he's going to be talking several paragraphs without interruption.\n\nThe classic structure of.\n\n"-Dialog here. - Description here" will make the writing really clunky, and I don't remember of an example of characters doing that inside a book. \n\n\nI think I should format this part as if the character was reading a text out loud. So I would separate what he's narrating into a block in italics. Would that be right?
## 87 I don't know where to start except things went clusterfu-k after my BS's birthday. It was 2 days back. As many suggested, we spent time as family but I wrote him a letter of my feelings and views about him. Did I give? No. I don't have the courage.\n\nMy kids bought him a watch for his birthday and they planned everything. He was pretty much on phone all day which was weird. He's an introvert and rarely uses his phone to text. We had seats reserved at our favourite diner and guess what, he was texting. My insecurities was screaming something was up. I asked him about that. It was his cousin. My kids went to their grandparents (my parents) so we had alone time for ourselves. He was as usual in his room. We chit chatted a bit mostly about kids. I asked how was he feeling. The rest conversation goes like this if I remember correctly.\n\nMe: How are you feeling?\n\nHim: How am I supposed to feel? I came between my wife and her lover. My in laws hate me so much they didn't care to send me a birthday wish after everything I did all these years for them. \n\nMe: *I'm shaking and get close to him with tears to speak* That affair was the biggest mistake of my life. I almost lost my family for that. I tried to say more but\n\nHim: Almost? Is that almost to you? You cheated on me for 6 fu**ing years you f***ng s*ut. I can bet that you spent my birthday with him, your birthday with him rather than our family. Why are you choosing family now? Is that because you're caught? \n\nI tried to speak again but he asked me to shut up and listen.\n\nHim: Do you know who I was chatting to? It's my cousin who I was supposed to marry(his dad's younger brother's adoptive daughter) she was the first loml. I had the healthiest and most loving family and I fu**ing lost it in a war. I lost everything. When I came here(my country) I had a hope that I can rebuild it. When I met you, I realized I found life again. Now after all these years it feels like a f**ing lie all thanks to you. \n\nI kept saying sorry, tried to hug him but he wasn't having it. My heart ripped out as he said those. There were a lot of conversation where he told me how much he missed his family. The first family(his parents) that he had was snatched away, the second was destroyed by the partner he shared his life with.\n\nHim: Look, xyz(my first name. Not baby, not honey) Our marriage is over. What we have now is a parenting relationship. I never had the life I wanted but I would like to give our kids that. You are free to see your lover, do whatever you want but please let me go. Do not steal this right from me. I'm tired. I can't fight any more. \n\nI broke down crying before he asked me to leave and pushed me out of his room. \n\nYesterday morning, he asked me if it would be a mutual consent divorce or a divorce at fault. I asked him what does he mean. He told me he will be filing now. Divorce needs us to separate for 6 months-1 year. It would require me to pay for all expenses if it's a fault divorce. We talked about it. Thankfully he gave me six months. He will file for separation next year because we are not great financially right now. He left to work for the rest of the day. Ramadan is around the corner. It is my best shot to repair our relationship. I cried the rest of the day. When he returned, he bought me my favourite cake. His mood was much more lighter. I didn't talk about us but bought up his cousin and if I can see her(he never mentioned about this cousin before) Now I have crippling insecurities because not only is she prettier than me, she has a PHD and an annual income of 6 digit. She resides in London. I asked about his plans in Ramadan(Muslims fast during this time) he said he will cook his own meals and I shouldn't bother about it.\n\nMy therapist said my BS has unresolved feelings that plays a key role now. The ball is in his court. He may have PTSD and it's important he works that out. She's 90% sure our marriage is over but the 10% hope lies with him and if I can get his feelings out. He's hurting and he needs to express it but he can't neither to me nor to anyone because everyone from his side are in different places. I'm utterly exhausted. There are a lot of unresolved feelings for him. I want to help him but he resents me. That's the shame I carry now. There are a lot of faults of mine that weren't known to me. I abused him emotionally in a lot of ways. He wanted to name our first child after his grandfather who was a military officer. I vetoed it and named him after my father promising him he can name our second child after his grandfather. I didn't respect his wishes because I did not like the name. I never stood up for him when my parents demeaned him. I made him feel like he was less because of his culture and his ways. There were issues more complicated too. My therapist further said that she's unsure of what to say because ideally it will be the best thing for him to leave because the pain is great. We all need to leave and let it go. I was abusive, cheated and humiliated him in ways I can't even comprehend now. I thought the issues were with him and minor cases but it makes sense now. I am the problem.
## 88 Quick Bio: I\031m in an accelerated BSN program (4 quarters in total) and currently in Q3. I\031m taking Peds, Maternity, Med surg 2, Pharm 2. \n\nStory: \nI just had my first day of clinicals for my peds rotation and it was HORRIBLE. Mostly because my instructor but the nurse I was with was so cool and made the floor seem really fun to be in. \n\nSo I came in early for the first day because we\031re suppose to meet at 6:45am and some of my clinical mates were running a little late because they got a little lost. I told my instructor this and she basically said \034we\031re not waiting on them because we\031re supposed to meet at 6:45\035. So i start texting my mates but I didn\031t really know the facility so I thought I would run out the lobby to quickly show them were I was so they could join the group. My professor saw me and got completely pissed at me. \n\nThere was another clinical mate of mine who was running late because of shuttle bus issues so I was trying to text her where we were at in the elevator. After exiting, my professor specifically pointed at me and told the \034group\035 but really looking at me and pointing saying some shit like \034lemme put you straight blah blah\035 (wasn\031t really processing bc I was completely baffled).\n\nThe third offense, we were trying to log into the system and she chose me to go first then made a remark \034let me see if you\031re legit\035 which im like inappropriate after the first two bad impressions you\031ve already given me. Then made me feel bad bc there was a minor complication trying to find the correct unit which was entirely her fault but didn\031t really want to listen to what I was trying to tell her. So she made me feel stupid. \n\nWorking with my nurse, they told me how the entire staff hates working with my instructor because how inconsiderate she is to the nurses and their patient/pt families. My nurse was amazing, they helped me prep for how assessments are and how to do vital signs etc. \n\nDuring vital signs, (mind you, I haven\031t even learned vital signs/assessments on peds yet bc it\031s just week 2 & my professor barely lectured) she made me feel like a complete fool when it came down to count heart rate. She wanted me to manually count it with my stethoscope which I was trying to tell her I haven\031t learn how to do it on a peds patient (more parameters & how to go about since kids will be kids ya know). So outside the room, we reviewed and I told her I need to work on my RR and HR. Then she goes on about how I could\031ve killed my patient for counting the HR wrong which officially triggered me & all I saw was RED. I then tried to tell her about my current lectures etc and I called her out because she wasn\031t teaching me when I ASKED FOR HELP. Completely offset her & hurt her HUGE EGO. She really gaslighted me and told me that I was not understanding that she was trying to \034guide\035 me (BULLSHIT)\n\nThen she told me to take a 15 and I was like okay I\031ll stay here then (probably didn\031t hear me tho). I stayed at the computers because I wanted to hang with my nurse (bc they were actually teaching me) and to get ahead of my care plan packet (you know being TIME EFFICIENT). Then circles back & asks me if I\031m \034challenging her\035 by not taking a 15min in the break room. I\031m like what? No i\031m sitting here and using my time efficiently to finish up my care plan. \n\nSo she pulls my nurse away to speak with them, my nurse tells that my professor was basically trying to get them to agree that I\031m a bad student so far. My nurse backed me up because I really was trying to eagerly learn and being helpful to my nurse. They told my nurse that the way shes teaching is not efficiently and makes her totally unapproachable. And of course my instructor needed to protect her ego and was saying shit like i want her to know her mistakes blah blah like shut up alrdy lady u literally yelled at me in front of my nurse. \n\nShe really screams \034nurses who eat their young\035 tbh\n\nAny tips on how I should protect myself because I really feel like I need to be on high alert& LOL \nOr tips on dealing with shitty instructors? \n\n(Also I\031m so grateful to my previous clinical professors who\031ve really prepared me for this type of situation. They were the best and taught me well.)
## 89 So I match with this girl on Hinge, she texts and we talk to the point where she asks for my number. Now I'm generally careful with profiles, but I saw that she had some group pictures in her profile along with some genuine answers to the prompts on Hinge. So I gave her my number, and then she starts by sending me nudes on whatsapp and asking me to do things one at a time like jerking off etc etc..\n\nI know, I was stupid and thinking with my penis rather than my brain since there were so many red flags from the beginning. Anyway, after I send a couple of videos with me exposed (and my face), she (now soon to be he) sends me screen recordings of the chat and my videos along with **screenshots from facebook messenger where they had already sent all those recordings to a family member of mine!** I saw the screenshot, and I realized that no way was it fake. The guy then said I had 30 seconds to agree to a deal or he wouldn't unsend those messages. I freaked out and said yes, and ended up paying him $1600 like a stupid idiot. \n\nNow the next morning his 'boss' texts me and says the actual amount was $4K and I need to send him $2k more. By then, I'd had enough time to read posts from this subreddit and basically bore him with "I don't have any money left and I'll do anything else" until he started saying that he'll block me. At that point I blocked him myself and stopped replying to texts he sent from other numbers. His last text came this morning but I think I'm pretty much in the clear now and I feel very relaxed.\n\nNow of course, losing $1600 because of my stupidity feels terrible, but I thought I'd write this up and share my experience with you all since it's a little different than what other posts describe. The main difference is the intense pressure he created by sending me screenshots from messenger that showed the videos being sent to a family member of mine. At that point I had to engage with him I guess, but I could have done a lot of things differently after that. Once he called after I'd said yes to paying him, I should have stalled a bit and then blocked him then and there (he sent me a screenshot after I picked up his call showing that he had unsent those videos to my family member). I hope this info will be useful for someone else here, maybe this variant can be added to the pinned post of the sub too.
## 90 I hope you don't mind a long one. It took a few days for me to finally post this, but here it is. No TL;DR.\n\nIt's way too long. I still don't know what to add or take out. Sorry, it takes a while to get to anything actually relevant to the sub, because car-centric culture goes way deeper than just a pile of cars everywhere. If you want any different you have to rip down the city and start over from scratch. I wrote it as a comparison between the town I just moved from and the city I moved to and the difference the existence of infrastructure makes.\n\nI will also seem to slag off boomers a lot as when I graduated school, everyone my age fucked off as soon as they found jobs that weren't apple picking or burger-flipping, leaving the town as a retirement city of boomers. A lot of these problems stem from a very sheltered Always-Done-It-This-Way culture from a dinosaur government that lost its Millenial voters years ago and is about to lose the Gen Zers to bigger cities too. The boomers themselves are fine. But when your government looks like its purposefully gatekeeping out anyone younger...or darker...or femaler...or gayer...it shows.\n\nI've only just discovered this movement less than two years ago. I've been against car culture for years before that before I even got my first car and literally thought I was the only one who could see these problems with it and sometimes thought I only held these opinions to be belligerent. You might see why I thought this later in this post...\n\nSorry for the attitude in this post. I've only just moved from this place and I feel like I have just left a cult. I'm still unpacking the lies, scams and gaslighting that was this place, and not just the shit about car-centric culture.\n\n**Some Background**\n\nBoomerville is made up of what technically should be two districts. This is one of the smaller cities in the country.\n\nLet's call the first one Nilson. Nilson is a city currently collapsing into a ghetto due to exploding sub-divisions with absolutely no real infrastructure for decades. Nilson City Councils' response to this is Surprise Pikachu Face as they can't figure out why they have been hemorrhaging Millenials for over a decade and why their parks are being taken over by homeless camps.\n\nThe second town in this boomerville will be referred to as 'Rich'mond. Not a city yet, just a town despite its population apparently being bigger than Nilson. This town is the head of the second district, so a completely different city government. 'Rich'mond is also considered a suburb of Nilson. I'm not explaining that further as its not worth the stroke I will have trying to figure it out for myself.\n\nFor this story I will lump the two together, as they are basically the same and in any conversation with anyone in these towns: 'Rich'mond is often called 'Nilson' anyway. Even the residents can't tell the difference.\n\nI have discovered recently that this mess of leadership does affect Nilsons ability to build infrastructure...\n\n**Their current economy that we were working with**\n\n'Rich'mond has the one and only mall between the two districts (for reference, the district I'm in now has multiple malls that I know of, and that's just within or near the city centre and I can pass many of them on ONE half hour bus trip...). Unlike Nilson, 'Rich'mond has vastly cheaper commercial rent and free parking. Because of this, Nilson's business and retail industry has been hemorrhaging into 'Rich'mond for years. Nilsons response is, once again, surprise Pikachu Face. Yet despite all this success, 'Rich'mond still used Nilson as a crutch for basic public services/systems, as sometimes 'Rich' made no attempt to build things of their own, besides the mall. Everything in Nilson was a big fish in a small pond. With no competition, there was no reason to grow beyond the 1950s. So Nilson stagnated and stagnated. And so then 'Rich'mond stagnated and stagnated.\n\n'Rich'mond has also been hemmorageing Millenials, but at least it has a better chance than Nilson. This is why Nilson has been trying to merge with 'Rich'mond for years, maybe to just ride the coattails of the malls successes and save Nilson from becoming a complete ghetto.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Finally...the 'transport' situation...**\n\nThese two towns share a city bus system. Yes, I said 'towns'. Not 'districts'. Most of the other areas in these districts have never seen a bus that didn't have SCHOOL on it (and even then most of them are driving kids half an hour to get to said bus(facepalm)). And there are many other towns and villages that basically don't exist to these councils. It wouldn't surprise me if some of these counselors had never heard of some of these town names before. You know, the names of the towns their voters live...\n\nLately, the roads in these towns are constantly bumper to bumper. Not just at peak hours. Some roads are gridlocked *ALL DAY*. And it's getting worse. Nilsons solution? More roads. Or to say they 'built a bike track' that I never ever see. Or to tell it's mostly rural residents to 'just take the bus' (Huh??? From WHERE????????)\n\nSo for decades these towns have been screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming for transport options other than cars. And this is the area of the country where a lot of hippies ended up so we have a large population of Green voters who have something to say too. If you thought that would have an effect on the services we got...just read on...\n\nOne of the options I have had the misfortune of using as someone born disabled (no chance of enough income to buy a car, and was still being lied to about my ability to physically drive), was the...let's call it 'bus system'.\n\nTwo routes. Two routes in basically the same direction. With the odd random route that consists of a van that turns up whenever the driver feels like it. Not within half-hour walk of a bus stop? Lol, tough bikkies for decades and decades and decades. Looks like most of the population is going to have to spend every day in a car for even the tinyest of things. I had friends I wouldn't see for months because mum and dad couldn't 'go into town anyway' for a while and shuttle them around to social groups. And the subdivisions continue to bloat and bloat and bloat, shoving these people further and further away from a bus that never grows.\n\nNilson has it's own bus station that I visited constantly. I was never dropped off at the 'Rich'mond one as it consisted entirely of a tin shed. Not joking, it's literally a shitty little one room shed. When someone bought up its desperate need of an upgrade on facebook 100% of the comments were just surprised 'Rich'mond even had one at all, and when did they build it? They never saw any news of this new shed. 'Rich' finally has a bus station then, that's cool.\n\nLol. That shed is not new, is probably older than me...\n\nForeigners would be gobsmacked there was nothing on Sundays (Huh????? That can be done??????)\n\n"But you had a bus from the supermarket right to your house!"\n\nDo I? Where? Never seen it. Let's have a look at the timetable, shall we? Ok so...I'll be waiting, groceries rotting, two hours for this bus to turn up. It takes me half an hour to walk to my destination. Oh look! I've seen it now! Oh. It's a van :) Literally just a van lol.\n\nI know people who had to take Intercity buses to work every day. Buses designed for holiday trips. That's the price of a plane ticket. Twice a day. To get to work. If said job paid them enough to afford to run a car, let alone buy one, they wouldn't be on that bus in the first place.\n\nLet's talk about disability accessibility on said buses. Please make sure you're sitting down when you read this. To stop this story from getting any longer...I was once told to my face "Why don't they just leap out of their wheelchair, bung wheelchair on front of bus (...where the bikes go...) and jump into a seat". That's the story of disability accessibility for this 'public transport' until the late 2010's...when some other towns in my country had accessibility on their buses before I was born so...\n\nMy personal accessibility problems: I was always half an hour walk away from the nearest place a bus could pick me up from, usually uphill all the way home (even in places that everyone lied was 'flat'). I was always at least half an hour walk away from anything in general, no matter where I lived. Without a car, that adds up to about an hour every day, walking. That's not counting the hours of walking around town I might have done every week or so. Being fat, I was told I only needed half an hour 3X /week to start losing weight and I was already doing twice that just to get to maccas. But the weight thing is a lie for another sub. Because of this I developed arthritis so bad that I once walked around for hours on a broken foot because I was always told that level of pain was 'normal for someone working retail'. Lol, I was unemployed. If I was doing retail I would have been doing more than twice that damage just working. And if I didn't have a car, no public transport lets pile on that hour of walking every day that I mentioned before.\n\nSo let's pretend I've ever had a full time job: 8 hours on feet, plus another hour walk, half of that would be piling on more damage that I wouldn't be paid for, that's 9 hours bashing and bashing and bashing at already damaged joints. I'm not counting housework because lets face it...at the level of damage I was at then (even without a job), it was never being done anyway LOL!!! If there were actual transport options that would have cut at least an hour of damage every day. But since there was none, what was the point in working? Let me just add here that Nilson business owners have been constantly moaning that they were 'screaming for staff' before the pandemic. So I guess you could say Nilsons transport options fucked me out of getting a job. Buying my first car flung my job options so far open that I had my first ever job interview in my 30s. Before then my job seek had to be narrowed down to *physical address* and once I cut for disabilities, the ads all poofed to nothing. If I want to buy a car to expand my options, those aren't free. They require a thing called 'money'. And where does one usually get money from? *CAR-CENTRIC CULTURE KEEPS PEOPLE UNEMPLOYED AND IN POVERTY!*\n\nAfter a few years of in and out of Drs, a rheumatologist said my arthritis was 'mechanical', not rheumatoid. I'm guessing this means I had the equivalent of RSI in everything below the waist. Would I have needed to be on a pile of cancer meds, plus steroids for years to recover from this if I had transport options?\n\n**Boomervilles cycleing 'options'**\n\nBefore I got lucky with the car, I started riding a tricycle. After a while, this became more eye-opening than freeing. I did feel like I had finally found something I had been starved of my entire life. But when I tried the cycle lane I spent most of the trip pushing and found I was sharing the 'bike lane' with literal utes and trucks. Being disabled on a bike you can imagine what my speed was, so let's just say: If I could compete with the speed of a fucking car, my bike would have had two wheels. When I tried the footpath I got screamed at for being 'illegal' even though all the coppers on the street just ignored me, probably because I was at least wearing a helmet. My husband also got screamed at for being on the footpath on his scooter even though said scooter was technically considered a 'toy' and could only legally be ridden on the footpath. When he rode it on the road without a helmet, no-one said jack shit. Oh, and he has very visible cerebral palsy so anyone with functioning eyes might have thought it was a mobility aid. And can you guess what else can legally be ridden on the footpath? Let's use that big abled brain of yours and figure it out, shall we? We're just a dummy dumb autistic and man with brain injuries after all. You're the big brain abled. Where can one *legally ride a mobility aid*? HMMMMMMMM. And speaking of mobility aids: Most of the marketing for adult tricycles feature elderly and people with Downs Syndrome. What does that make an adult-sized three-wheeled bike look like?\n\nNilsons bike racks were always mostly empty. Nilsons solution was to replace them with new ugly monstrosity bike racks that everyone said were impossible to use. Goodbye casual cycling culture.\n\nAt least the buses (even the vans) had bike attachments. I never tried mine with one of those for obvious reasons.\n\nBy the time I finally got the car it was another glorified mobility aid in our collection. I took the 'bus' less because at the time it was a 2 hour wait for a less than half hour trip in the car so...\n\n**Driving in Nilson**\n\nI only experienced it for a couple years so I didn't hate it, didn't love it.\n\nNilson is officially known for its disgusting treatment of pedestrians. It's accidents involving pedestrians reaches worst in the country, far too often. Again, as mentioned far above, this is one of the smaller cities and even the bigger ones can't beat it as far as plowing into pedestrians.\n\nNilson needs signs on the road spelling out the concept of merging. And they still fuck it up. I did notice on the motorway, once we got to the merge we were so gridlocked that I might have put my car in Park at one point. Once we finally bottlenecked into it, suddenly we were HOONING!!!!! until we got to the next merge and were basically parked again. I don't know much about driving, did someone fuck up a merge????\n\nThe worst road for driving for me...was the one that went through the town of 'Rich'mond. The latest big upgrade fattened the footpath and cut the speed down to 30k. The upgrade made it worse.\n\nFattening the foorpath meant cutting some of the road, which led to smashing two lanes into the space of one, and still calling it a 'two lane'. And of course, they kept carparks on both sides. Again, this is the road that goes through the middle of the town, passing several businesses, a library, District council building, plus the mall. Can you see where I am going with this? We have several carparks, one belonging to a *MALL* all feeding in and out of a 2 lane 30k road smashed into the space of one lane. All cars because of course who's taking a bus they never see.\n\nI used to take a side road that feed into it until I noticed other cars plowing into my lane every single time.\n\nIf one person signals to parallel park in one of the side parks, both lanes slam on their brakes as anyone passing a parking car at any given time is plowing straight into another car.\n\nIf you care about pedestrians at all, you get whiplash looking for them as some galaxy brain plonked planter boxes as tall as an adult beside each crossing, so pedestrians literally throw themselves in front of your car out of nowhere on this street.\n\nThe road to get to my nearest dairy. Anyone with better knowledge of traffic, please explain this one:\n\nThis was a notorious road. You could sit in your driveway for half an hour just to get on it. Just trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks, no gaps. Not just at peak hours, *ALL DAY.* I had always thought it was because the jobs are in one direction and the affordable houses were an hour away in the opposite direction so everyone is going the same way to where the work is...but it was the lane to where everyone lived that was constantly going all day, even in the morning, the other direction, to the jobs, was often empty? This was the road I had to cross to get to the dairy. No crossings. I tried with my trike a few times but it almost took all day.\n\nEdit: Parking. I said earlier that 'Rich' was free and Nilson was paid. There are always complaints that Nilson 'never has enough parks'. I don't hear this complaint much with 'Rich'mond. Interesting that the paid one 'never has enough parks', while the free one by the mall doesn't get this complaint. The mall one is your typical massive sprawl. There are a number of these massive sprawls in Nilson.\n\nOMG, let me tell you how Nilson managed to make its paid parking even worse. Nilson had the genius idea to...'upgrade' the new parking meters. Being a very sheltered town trapped in the 1950s that's hemorrhaging Millenials, Nilson thought 'upgrading' meant 'add a massive dump of computery bleepy-bloops that no-one asked for'. Most of my population is my mum and grandmas age and being such a sheltered hick town, even the Millenials and Gen Zers here need a lot of handholding with basic tech. So you can see where this is going. Here's what the new parking meters now look like: Ques of people at each meter while someone at the front bashes around the touch screen for a month. One time I finally got close to the meter, the lady in front of me started screaming 'where is the free two hours?' and gave up. My turn. So...I found the free two hours that's always been a feature in Nilson parking...buried under 10 different menues one can only get to if you go through it like you are already holding cash. That's the problem with these meters, everything important is buried under 20 clunky menues.The supposed the benefit of these meters is that they are now digital, and you can hook up your phone/email to it through a site or some 4D chess blither blather I have yet to see.\n\nThe old meters you just bashed a button, then bashed a coin in and fucked off. Your parking was paid. Lol.\n\n**Bomervilles...'road maintenance'**\n\nWas actually pretty typical of the rest of the country so I won't have much to complain about here. A couple of roads would be left full of cones and unfinished for years. A pile of roads would be in the middle of being resealed for the fifth time that year, while the rest rotted to pothole-filled gravel. Ignore screams to fix carparks used by wheelchair users every day, year's later suddenly 'find' enough money to scramble-fix carpark before Big World Sporting Event tourists turn up, forget the carpark is there as soon as the tourists go home. Paint bike lane green, dig up bike lane, paint green again, dig up, paint green, dig up, paint green, dig up...The usual.\n\n...\n\nBut then finally a beacon of hope. After Nilson city started collapsing it seemed our lazy boomer counselors were finally waking up! Could it be they were finally noticing Nilson filling up with homeless camps? There was gossip they had been making noises about finally upgrading the buses! And they did! Strange coincidence that they suddenly had the resources for it and many other things that had been broken for decades, the day before thousands of people were to turn up to watch the Rugby World Cup. Hmmmm.\n\nThe next round of upgrades went something like this:\n\nNCC: New bus upgrade!\n\nNilson: Oh joy! We have been so starved of upgrades that we will take literally anything!\n\nNCC: NEW routes and times\n\nNilson: When and where?\n\nNCC: <Towns that have never seen a bus before>\n\nNilson: FINALLY some good fucking food! Times?\n\nNCC: One trip on Tuesday and one trip on Sunday, but only at times like 10am or 2pm, or any random hours that are useless to everyone, so that if you miss your bus you're fucked until next week. So now you all can go *shopping*!!!!! That's what you're wanting buses for, right? Because we understand that not all of you poors have two cars! (Literally, all the points made in local news articles. I'm not making this up. Heavily Paraphrased, but it's basically what they said. But I will give them one point for figuring out some people have only one car. That actually is a lot of effort for a Nilson boomer. It would have been two points if they put in enough effort to figure out some people might have no car at all, but alas here we are) Here's your bus! It's that sloppily labeled minivan over there that could have just been a taxi!\n\nNext Upgrade\n\nNCC: We got bored one day so we've finally decided to chuck you another bus upgrade!!! It's one you've been screaming for!!!!\n\nNilson: FINALLY a real one this time? Are we getting new routes? Better times? Running more than once a week? One the disabled can actually USE????\n\nNCC: Even better!!!\n\nNilson: Please hurry up and give it to us, your economy is crashing.\n\nNCC: Wait for it...here it is...you may want to sit down because this is the best upgrade we have ever made!! This will change the entire city!!! Here it is...: you can now...**BRING DOGGY AND KITTY ON BUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** BIGGER PICTURE AND NEWS ARTICLE THAN THE LAST UPGRADE!!!!!!!!!!! PLASTER THE NEWSPAPER FULL OF PET PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL NOW WAIT FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO CLAPS FOR US THE HEROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n\nThat was the last I've heard of it. It was shortly after this that we packed our entire house and bailed for a better city. We had already been planning this for years, but this was when I finally gave up on the place. I see absolutely no hope for Nilson anymore. My sister and cousins had already bailed years ago. My dad abandoned the place two Christmases ago. All of their lives have been exploding in success ever since, while I stagnated in unemployment and pointlessness for decades.\n\nFor years I was told over and over that things wouldn't be any better anywhere else (even though hardcore evidence just showed that all my cousins ect were doing vastly better since they bailed) and that I would be worse off if I bailed for something with better services for me. So I stagnated for decades.\n\n**All relevant Christchurch comparisons**\n\nNow, after seeing how real non-car infrastructure works, I'm never going back. And after years of lies about everything outside Nilson I'm tempted to cut off what piss little amount of friends and family I have.\n\nMy nearest bus is every 15 minutes, and as stated before: this bus will pass *multiple* malls and might even drop me at the doorstep of multiple relatives, let alone job opportunities. My car is basically rotting by the garage. The only time I've taken it to the mall is for groceries. I can literally take a bus straight to the doorstep of multiple family members. My stepcount is exploding. I actually *WANT* to leave the house.\n\nAnd most of the infrastructure I am seeing here (stuff that are titans compared to the 'services' in the old place) was built after an earthquake a decade ago. Some of this would have been put together in the middle of aftershocks. So clearly physically making it isn't too hard, so that's not the problem. And it's not money and resources because Chch somehow found the resources to chuck all this up at once, again...after an earthquake...so problems with resources would have been understandable. And yet it takes Nilson decades to achieve what Chch repaired in a few years.\n\nMy dudes, I'm talking about a quake that flattened the place. And yet they rebuilt the entire infrastructure faster than Nilson could upgrade what was already there. Piles of new routes, piles of new times. Not a one bare-minimum-effort service plonked into the system every 10 years and then forgotten about. All at once. And before this quake they had a free bus in the city centre, with rumors of rebuilding it.\n\nAnd now they're telling me they're suddenly making even *more* routes??? AND making the fares cheaper when their bus station is already the size of a fucking mall and their routes and maps are a fucking BOOK???? I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK FOR CHEAPER FARES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T GIVE THEM ANYTHING FOR THIS!!!!!!!! I'm just still gobsmacked I get a bus at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the newspaper tells me they are giving this to us so we can do things like 'go to work/events ect'. So a bus for more than just shopping?? I would happily pay *double* the fare for what I'm getting!!! All the buses can fit at least TWO entire wheelchairs! I feel like I'm getting on a fucking spaceship every time I get on one.\n\nAND THE BIKE RACKS ARE ALWAYS FULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where TF are they all coming from??????? The first time I saw it on a visit down here I nearly cried.\n\nWe have a four lane road to cross for the buses. Same amount of lanes and same speed, if not faster than the one I had to cross for the dairy back in Nilson. With a big city amount of traffic. I'm told it's quite busy. So here is how it went: THERE. ARE. BIG. HONKING. **GAPS**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not talking throw yourself in front of a car and screaming across gaps, I'm talking: I can literally *just walk* across this road. Like a pick your nose and read a book/text a friend walk. Is there something wrong with this road? Is it broken? Where's the traffic???\n\n"The gaps are from the lights further up"\n\n...Ok so...my old road had those too. Where were the gaps??\n\nDriving here is...ok? Every time I've hit the road with the car it looks really empty. Like I can swerve all over the lanes without hitting anything empty. I've been on this road at peak times and haven't seen a gridlock yet. The only con for me is the whopping porkies from google maps. I have never seen such whoppers in Nilson. So if I don't need directions constantly fed to me, I actually kind of like the driving here.\n\nEdit to add: I've noticed the malls here have very small carparks in comparison to 'Richs' bloated one. And yet I can always find a park. I also noticed that some galaxy brain here had the idea to put a lot of parking spaces *on top of the malls*! How's that for an idea? What is the point of bloated, space hogging carparks? And it's *free* here! No clunky, slapped-together mess parking meters! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!\n\nLike...I've yet to see any of this big city traffic problems everyone in Nilson has been yapping about. In fact the traffic I've seen so far is better than Nilson. Am I doing something wrong? I feel like I've been scammed my entire life. I often wonder how my life would have gone if I had these transport options from teenage years. I needed a lot of handholding to even get a bus card! I didn't even know where to put it when I got on one. And yet I was constantly told I would fail and hate all of this????? I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something to hate here. And the cons I did put in this post were nitpicky. How hard is it to have any of this? Not building this infrastructure is a *CHOICE*!!!\n\nEdited to add a few things and I wanted to cut the ageism down a bit. It's not the boomers that's the problem, it's a culture and leadership that literally 'forgets' everyone else exists that's the problem. Even individual boomers themselves could see the problem. I've seen grannies so bored they were begging for skateparks. I've seen boomers slagging off Nilsons piss poor infrastructure. I know boomers who have nothing nice to say about Nilson and its collapse into a ghetto. The place has started hemorrhaging boomers too! As soon as they see better opportunities, better lifestyles and cheaper housing/services they're packing their bags. Nilson is so bad that people are leaving their grandkids behind. The boomers can see what the problem is, I don't see why leadership can't. Soon the only ones left will be those who can't leave after Nilson set them up to fail. Those will be the desperate and vulnerable.
## 91 Hello. I made this throwaway account solely to post a single thing here because I don't want these feelings and thoughts on my main for reasons such as being out of character and being more on the business side. And I would like to air out my feelings and thoughts. And which place better than the title that spurt forth out these feelings other than this place ?\n\nStarting off. Do you know what exactly is war ? We all know what the war is. A conflict that brings upon death and vain death. The people that are viewing the reports on places that are in the said conflict which include most of us and me, sit here in comfort. Thinking what a terrible thing it is.\n\nWe pity the afflicted. The bereaving families. The son or daughter who lost both their parents. The sole surviving family member now alone in the world. \n\nHow far exactly do we as a third party are willing to show them support despite living in our comfort ? The truth is, not very far. Most people will think how terrible it is. However very few of us go beyond the social media post or berating the aggressors boundary and even fewer who would donate little of their fortune. \n\nAnd I must confess that I am this very much included in this group of people. Now, am I a terrible person who is full of hypocrisy and uncaring ? And I would answer with both yes and no.\n\nBefore I address my answer I would like to say that what ultimately what brought me to write this lengthy text was because of the current events ongoing in my neighboring country. \n\nEvery day I wake up the first thing I do is turn up the news on the situation and each day it seems worse despite the unfaltering will of the defenders. The massacre of unarmed civilians in thousands. Bodies on the road, a man shot down with his feet still on the pedals of his bicycle. And then there's people of the aggressors' country which chose to be ignorant of the very reality.\n\nBut. How exactly am I different from them ? I am their neighbor yet my actions for the efforts could be said to be null. And the answer is that those that chose to be ignorant over there, just want to live their lives. Life is currently quite turbulent for most people even for those not in war. And my answer is that I too chose to turn my head sideways. I too, have my troubles that don't have a clear light at the end of the tunnel. \n\nQuite hypocritical, I am very much aware. And maybe one day I too will be struck with the reality of war and will be no longer able to turn away from the reality.\n\nAnd now, the very much belated reason of why I posted this here into the '**86**' subreddit.\n\nIt's simply because of the indescribable surge of emotions it brought up. The not so incredible parallels it has with the current situations in the world is almost surreal.\n\nVery plainly said, I was woken up. The realities of war I see through the through the glow of my screen. The stories of men and women who have served in the army that I viewed and read due to the pull of the situation. And I even envisioned very short scenes of being in the very shoes of people afflicted. \n\nThe son who held his little sister in his arms as his parents shielded him with their bare bodies. The mother who watched her spouse and all her children's light fade out from their twinkling irises. My tears flowed through my face as I envisioned these scenarios in my head. And of course. These little figments of my imaginations couldn't be compared to the actual people who've experienced them first hand by any stretch of means. \n\n\nIn short, they all brought up a sense of urgency. I want to do better. Before I fade away, I want to be a better person for my family. I've been living a blessed comfortable life and without contributing to my family very much. I want my mother and sister who are my sole family to say that they are proud to have me as their son and brother. I don't want this promise to be yet another failed promise out of my dozens of determinations to be a better person.\n\nI want to follow through my promise just like Lena. Marching on and catch up to the failed expectations of the close people had in me. And I truly hope that everyone here and anywhere else can find their answer and their determination for their life. As blurry and unpredictable it may be just as it is for me.\n\nI would like to apologize for this much overly serious topic and lengthy text for this subreddit. \n\nAnd finally. I would like to give a special thanks to mister Sawano for giving his talents and contributing to the show's compositions. They have been a very strong drive for me and amplified these very feelings of mine.\n\nNobody who knows me will ever read this and they probably will. This post may be deleted due to its nature, but even so. I wanted to leave my thoughts here even if they were there for just a moment. \nAnd to everyone who made it all the way down there and read through this whole thing. I would like to say.\n\nThank you so very much. And know that I sincerely wish for you all to make your way through your lives staying strong and standing straight even if your road may not be a straight line. \n\nOnce again. Thank you.
## 92 Lol. He told me he thinks sex feels like a chore with me now. \n\nNew pain unlocked. \n\nI dont think I ever want to have sex again. Im so tired of working for this, he doesnt do anything. \n\nNo dates. No more compliments. Its like, he doesnt love me- which I wouldnt really care about I guess. I think im going to stop interacting with him. Im going to not text first, say goodnight/good morning, not open up anymore. Theres no reassurance that I can even do those things safely. \n\nI used to think he was my home, but I know now I only thought that because everything was a lie.\n\nI thought he was just a sweet, lonely, misunderstood guy that no one really gave a chance to. I see now why. \n\n\nI wish I had the me before him, maybe Ill luck out and after this, Ill have a me thats even better than before. Who knows. \n\nIve been stuck the past 138 days (i keep count& sad I know) since I first found out, in a deep sadness I thought Id never get out of. After telling him Id leave if he did it again, and theres been two accounts after I found out after the first one- that Id leave& I guess I had my answer.\n\nI want love. I want to be held without the expectation of sex, to be loved unconditionally but with all the healthy conditions. \n\nI craved so desperately for him to want me, he made me feel like sex is all I had to offer. It doesnt matter to him how he makes me feel, its mine to deal with. \n\nI heard something somewhere, like; \034dont let him punish his mother through you.\035 Sigh. Shit sucks guys. I couldnt imagine doing this for another year. Genuinely been the worst year of my fucking life. And I just turned 20. \n\nThanks for reading. I know its all over the place though.
## 93 My neighbour's wife just sent me a text message asking if I have a spare computer monitor to loan her until next week Tuesday. Of course I do, I have like 5 computers of all sizes connected to my home network that are responsible for a bunch of things. Also I'm a serial collector of sorts.\n\nSo anyway she's called me before. Her computer monitor which she connected to her laptop had this problem where everything had this red tinge to it. I knew what the cause was immediately - broken or non-connecting pin on the VGA socket - but it took me about an hour of fiddling just to be sure because by the time I got there she had changed a bunch of settings in Microsoft Excel (of all places) already.\n\nNow with COVID-19 (supposedly) coming to an end she's already started the journey of returning to work full-time, so now she's between computer monitors with the one she used to use at home at work and is without one at home.\n\nNow you can guess what my fear is.\n\nShould I loan her a monitor a VGA pin of mine might get broken somewhere. I say might, because you know what also comes with owning several computers and being into "IT". Neighbourhood tech support that's what it is.
## 94 Well Wednesday wife called the navy... Read prior posts.\n\nTold them there was an arrest warrant, as well as charges for abuse and child endangerment etc.\n\nTurned myself in... The charge?\nDisorderly conduct. For an event I filled a restraining order on her for a month ago and, for flicking my daughter mouth after she was disrespectful ( same way we have always done it for years), and that I followed her... At a casino down the road from me. She lives across the state 40 mins away by another one. When there was no reason not to be there. \nHad I not left as soon as I knew she was there sure... Had I gone to the one by her house sure.. but ok I guess.\n\n\n5k later on bail I was out same day. Next day in front of the judge he approves the restraining order on me.\n\nGo to court on the 18, have to do all sorts of classes and maybe the state will drop the charges.\n\nNo record on me at all for any thing ever. First time in jail, not even a speeding ticket in the last 10 years.\n\nLawyer is pissed, gave him the video and audio recording of her saying a man can't be raped that she had the restraining order for before, and she would do what she has too to make things go her way. Including her saying she would claim that.\nAs well as her hitting me and the kids saying to stop.\n\nIt's clear the boy friend got pissed and coached her (agent) on what to write... Very specific.\n\nBut she messed up one detail. Where she stated I touched/pushed her. The state trooper that was there that night was told by her and to my supervisor that picked me up, I never touched her. \n\n\n\nSo now today I get a call again from a state trooper that she called, said I was harassing her.\nI called my friend. They didnt pick up. Left message saying "I need someone to talk to"\n\nState trooper sided with me. Said to make sure I don't call her or family, or have third party call her or family.\n\nJesus Christ, so I call/text my whole damn side of the family and say don't call, text or even look her way. Sister rings back to me and says she's been called by her several times and was about to call her back... Fuck no don't do it.\n\n\nWeek two of not seeing my girls again, was my weekend, missed a my girls first play. The list goes on.\n\n\nWell guess the agency has now reached out to me, lawyer said to wait before I fry that.\n\nOther reason she's jumped is because I told her I was not going to let her leave the state with my girl as that's not fair visitation. Her response was I can't afford to live here.... Not my problem girl...this was sat prior\n\n\nStay strong guys, and if your getting started like I am good luck it's a bumpy road.\n\nOnly real issue for her now is i requested back in Feb what she needed money wise a month... Or an account to send it too. So... Now I can't give her anything because that's electronic communication if I put money in the joint account... So I guess I have to wait till her lawyer request it now. At least that's what mine has said to do for now.\n\nI did pay for the car, insurance, trailer, etc to the tune of about 1200$ so far this month.\n\n\nLet's be amicable my big white ass.\n\nFile first, set stipulation to claim the living area, and visitation and then don't fucking talk to her. Cameras... Have them no matter what. My dash cam may very well save my ass and give me both kids.
## 95 I (16) am in love with my best friend, but my parents are super homophobic and I'm not sure what to do. \n\nSome backstory I met them through another friend last year and we started talking and then we started flirting but stopped for a while because of an ex of mine. \n\nWe have been talking a lot more recently (since December) and I feel that things are less flirty and more actual romantic stuff, I feel like I'm falling for them more than I did before. \n\nThey're the first thing i think of when i wake up, the first text i look for, the first person i think of when i want to tell someone something.\n\nBut I know if I tell my mom about it she\031d flip on me. She already found out from ggoing through my phone a while ago about me expressing same-sex attraction but I told her that I was just curious and not lesbian. she has expressed multiple times that she wouldn\031t kick me out but I wouldn\031t be seen as her daughter if I was gay and id be disowned when I turned 18.\n\nI'm scared my mom will find out and I'll end up hurting them because I can't continue with the relationship, but I'm also tired of keeping this a secret.
## 96 I'm posting this story as a reminder to not stalk your ex on social media. Hopefully it's useful for everyone trying to kick this habit.\n\nAs a bit of context, my ex dumped me at the end of last year. It was rough. They dumped me in an incredibly cruel way. I was a mess. I cried. I felt awfully mentally. But I never called, texted, or otherwise interacted with them, despite how close they lived to me. I knew that even though I missed the relationship, it would never be able to come back. No one that is worth a second chance would treat me the way my ex did in the last few months of our relationship. \n\nI did pick myself up after a few months. I went to gym classes and got fitter. I got promoted at work. I saw friends and family more. I had flings and dates and didn't feel guilty or any other negative emotions afterwards. Most importantly for me, I went to therapy. \n\nThe one habit I had to work really hard on was to stop stalking them on social media. Despite what we tell ourselves (\034we aren\031t talking so it\031s not a form of contact\035), this is another way to try and contact an ex. And checking their accounts never feels good. Most people only post the good stuff. I eventually blocked their accounts and deleted the apps off my phone. The pangs to stalk them faded and I felt better for it.\n\nRandomly last night after a rough week with COVID and work, I checked their Instagram. What I saw felt like a stab to the heart. And a personalised one at that.\n\nMy ex was seeing someone new and had gone on a family holiday to do a specific activity. This is a niche hobby of mine and one that my ex repeatedly told me they had no interest in doing with me.\n\nMy mind starting going wild. I felt betrayed. We'd got through multiple lockdowns but they had dumped me when restrictions lifted last year. Some of the reasons they gave me were not wanting to go on holiday with anyone (including me) and not wanting to spend time with family.\n\nBut the unfortunate truth is I wouldn't have had to go through this pain if I didn't stalk my ex's social media. I'm also reminded of what I read about people with avoidant attachment styles (finding out about this whilst we were together is another story) getting stuck in a circle of dating and dumping similar people. In a twisted way, it makes complete sense that my ex is doing all the things I asked them to do in this new relationship. This wasn't an attack aimed at me, but my ex getting stuck in an avoidant circle. \n\nA few months ago, the thing I didn't want to happen - bumping into my ex - happened. After reflecting on the situation, I texted my ex asking if they'd like to talk about the breakup. Seeing as we live so close, it made sense to me to clear the air. My ex agreed but then kept coming up with reasons to delay this chat.\n\nAfter what I saw last night, I know these reasons were closer to excuses. I'm still sort of morbidly curious to see what the answers he gives to my questions would be. I also know that the old person is simultaneously gone but without addressing their demons, they are destined repeat the same mistakes in their future relationships
## 97 Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakathuh and hey there :)\n\nTL;DR: Elaboration about my requirements versus my parents' the marriage process and certain anxieties these bring up. \n\nI'm F, turning 21, who feels very, very anxious about marriage in general, partly because my parents are hinting that they will need to find someone for me by the end of this year or next year, latest. At least, before I'm 23.\nFor reference: I was born into a very conservative family, but at the same time, my parents have taken the time to parent us as best as they could (their pov). They can be a bit strict/controlling/stuck to their own viewpoints to be honest (in some cases, not all the time)\nand as their first daughter, I guess they've been more so, with me, because I'm the oldest.\n\nI'm anxious because :\ni) They keep stressing on the timelines.\n But I just believe in Qadr and that the right person is written for you and when you're meant to meet them, you will (of course tie your camel + trust Allah). I don't want to rush into anything without considering all angles and for now, I'd be happy if I found the right person and only had a nikkah, and then have the formalities later on. I also don't want to have children right away because I'd like to get to know my partner first and then work on ourselves before starting a family.\nHowever;\nMy parents say I have to get settled by the next 2 years, and that if I did get married, I'd have to have kids at least within 2 years of marriage. But isn't that upto me and my spouse? Is it unreasonable to disagree with them?\n\nii) They insist on him being from my country and from a 'known' family. At the same time, they want me + my siblings to get out of my country with our future spouses and live abroad, simply because they want a better life for us (plus our country isn't the best place to live in, anyway)\n\nI personally am opposed to this (sticking with only our nationality and way of doing things), because I like new countries, cultures and ideas in general and I feel like a 'foreigner' or someone from another nationality would align with my goals, both religious and non religious I mean.Also, I want someone open minded, who'd like learning and experiencing life to its fullest (within Islamic reason)\nsomeone who has a wide range of interests, likes travelling, reading, food, cooking, adventure sports and so on. We can discuss those things later, but bottom line, many men (not generalising, speaking from what can be observed) from my country generally aren't very open minded + extended family & society can be very judgemental and put people down for the slightest mistake or sin. I don't want to live in such a toxic environment. \n\nAnyway, whenever I try my best to bring this up, they say " a known devil is better than an unknown angel" =6 and that living in the country I'm living in (with all its snooping and people knowing everything about everyone) means that they can do all the background checks on my future spouse and basically dig up any dirt before marriage, faster. \nI feel a little uneasy with this idea, because while I do get that people make mistakes, I wouldn't want to reject someone based on one small thing they may have done in the past and then repented from. (Eg: dated someone "online", or had an addiction they overcame)\n\nOh...and I must also add that, since I've never been in a relationship outside of marriage or dated anyone in real life, I've added that I would prefer that my potential spouse hasn't had any girlfriends either, I mean he could have talked to people online, ok, or worked in a mixed environment (being friendly and professional and maintaining his boundaries) but bottom line- no zina or the baggage of previous relationships. \n\nI was told "oh but, if they've dated around, at least we know they're not gay"=6\nI disagree with this because of the Quranic ayah in Surah Nur (24:26)\n\nAlso, because I've been involved with Qur'an (memorising and studying) I've asked that the potential also be fluent in it and have memorised/studied some of it, to some extent. Basically I wrote a whole bunch under my first criteria; "God consciousness" and this was something I'd really like; to grow together with the Quran. \nThe reply to that was- "you can't expect men here to be like that. Either they are men in thobes/huffaz without even a basic high school diploma or men with masters and PhDs who struggle to recite Surah Fathiha properly"=6\nAnd I personally think, they would pick a guy with Masters or a PhD. =©\nI feel really demotivated about the state of our ummah if this is the case. Hence the wanting to find someone abroad thing.\n\nSurely it's not that hard to find someone who is both religious and educated???\nI must note here, that my family has raised me and my siblings upon the authentic Quran and Sunnah, to our knowledge (Allahu a'lam) we have tried our best to abstain from shirk/bidah/mawlood/birthdays, we pray 5x a day, fast, fulfil all the basic pillars of Islam, and nearly all of us have been sent to learn the Quran. They have also always told us to be good and kind people.\nAnd for the girls- ensure that we wear hijab and dress modestly, strongly discourage us from talking to non-mahram, etc all of that while allowing us to study and pursue our goals within the frameworks of Islam. (For instance, I'm pursuing a Bachelors degree now and I would hope that I get the chance to do a Masters degree and so on, I've also memorised a significant portion of the Qur'an Alhamdulillah,just to give you an idea)\n\nThat's why I'm so baffled by their responses. \n:/ \n\nI believe that if you hold yourself to high standards and accountability in terms of deen and dunya , you should not lower them for others.\nWhy settle for less, when you can pray for more?\n\niii) As a result, Ive been trying to find someone on my own, online. \nI haven't told them yet, but if they find out, I'm going to be toast. Literal toast. I just want to meet someone that I genuinely like, my soulmate, so to speak, who fulfils most of my criteria and know that it's mutual, instead of something forced into/pressurised by either of our parents.\n:////\nFor context: My parents have been sort of drilling in a certain person in my head as a potential, some would say brainwashing lol, but I feel uneasy about it. Because like I wrote above, I want it to be mutual and because both of us like one another, not because of ideas someone else has put into my/their head.\n\nAlso, when I ask them "can I get to know someone you know about, with the intention of marriage?" In the sense, text but with their permission and them overlooking it, it's a no. They say, everything has to be done after formalities. :/\nHow can you BE with someone without knowing them yourself? Sure, people can do background checks and all that, but surely, you need to interact with them yourself, a couple of times in different contexts to know if you'd fit well?\n\nSo...here I am, on reddit. Also here I am, talking to people online (anonymously) with the hope that something positive can happen.\n\nOnline talking>> it's not the most halal way. I get that.\nBut Im hoping that someone here on reddit can help me make sense of this=-\n\nAlso, I've been having a lot of doubts about what a good Muslim should & shouldn't be, where to draw the line, must parents always be obeyed, all of that. :3\nAnd I feel guilty, since it's Ramadan too.\n\nOfc there's more to this and we could literally talk about this for hours, but I would appreciate any and all help :)\nLet me know if I sound unreasonable and if you have a different opinion or way of looking at this, I'd appreciate it=\n\n\nAlso, I realise I'm young :) and there could be flaws in my argument or communication style, so yeah, please feel free to kindly criticise me if you think I need to hear something:) \n\nJust really fed up atm. :/\n And sorry about the rambling!!\n\nAnd finally,\nI hope you all are having a good Ramadan so far and may your days get better if they aren't so good rn >p\n\n\nEdit 1: I'd prefer if guys don't DM me in a familiar way, if you want to, please be professional and also, do it with someone else knowing. (i.e. your best friend or a close relative, if you can't let your parents know)\nI showed this post to my mother now hoping for some understanding and we had a conversation....she straight up told me that she would disapprove if I met someone online and wanted to marry them.\nEven though I specifically said "getting to know for marriage, with the parents' knowledge."\n The words she used to be precise were "we'd disown you" and "we'd be heartbroken". \nUltimately, they want my future to be in their hands, not mine. I feel like they're baking my future and giving me the breadcrumbs. \n(Sorry for that slight rant)\n\nSo I've stopped any chatting now but I genuinely feel distressed and like no one understands me.\nPlease keep me in your duas.\n\nEdit 2: I edited some of my criteria above, for further clarification.\n\nEdit 3 (7/04/2022): Conversed at length with trusted family and friends about this issue.\nRead through all the comments, received some lengthy comments in DMs too, and I've come to realise that:\n\n-Good men are for good women and vice versa.\n-Starting with haram is never in your best interests.\n-There are very few people who sincerely think of your best interests, but when you find them, value them.\n- Form a relationship based on taqwa, mutual understanding and akhlaq (good character). For that halal means-> halal end.\n- You cannot really get to "know" a person solely online; the person on the other side can always deceive you, manipulate you and talk to you with the words they want you to hear, by knowing that these are your weaknesses, and this is what you want to hear from them.\n-Trust in Allah and trust in what He has commanded and prohibited; there's always a greater Wisdom behind everything in our deen and in our limited understanding, we may not be able to understand all of it, but we have to accept all of it. Sami'na wa atha'na (We hear and we obey).\n- If you are easily influenced and know that this is your weakness;\n1. Remove anything that could lead to it. Remove all avenues to it.\n2. Check your thoughts. Because thoughts become actions. Do not give every thought that crosses your mind importance. Know which thoughts deserve to be prioritised. Else, write those thoughts on paper, crumple up the paper and burn it.\n3. Do not be dishonest or deceive those you love, especially your parents and closest friends. Be upfront and honest and let them know the instant something happens, so that you do not fall into a pit that you cannot get out of. They will be your accountability buddies in most cases and keep you in check when you can't keep yourself in check.\n\n-Never lower your standards, your deal breakers, and what's important to you. Don't lower your expectations. At the same time, use yourself as a yardstick. If you aren't that way, don't expect your partner to be that way. If you lie and cheat, how can you expect someone honest and pure? Likewise, if you consider yourself a good person, and you try your best to do what's right and abstain from what's wrong, then of course, Allah WILL send someone who is like that, or better. Trust in Him and His plans for you.\n\n- Your parents may fight with you, or you, with them, but at the end of the day, they love you and look out for your best interests (not generalising this, just mentioning my particular scenario). So obey Allah and obey your parents to the best of your ability, and you will be compensated for that, in this world and in the next.\n\n-Let go of all ideologies that go against what our deen preaches. (Brings us back to the influence point) Basically, stick to the middle ground. Do not be swayed by either extreme. \nWhen you are confused, go back to the Quran and Sunnah or to people who are upon it and can sincerely advise you.\n\nParents....\n-Especially when it comes to their daughters, stress on searching for potentials earlier as the process is a long one and this allows them to have more time to filter out the best possible choices. \nAlso...don't rush into picking the first person who seems "good". Due diligence + asking very very important (and the right type) of questions from the onset + checks + meetings + and most importantly, istkharah. \n\n- Want someone from one particular nationality, because they equate familiarity to safety, but as one person told me, this is a fallacy. So...like some comments have noted, it is best that this is discussed at length with parents and that multiple discussions are held so that both you + them feel like your opinions are heard, validated and considered.
## 98 For 9 months I\031ve been working 60 hour weeks. My overtime hours were my base wage, not time and a half, without the tips I was due for working, but paid in cash. In the beginning I agreed to it because it was only supposed to be for a short period until they hired someone new. They never really did. \nWhenever I tried to reduce my hours the owner\031s daughter would complain because she would have had to work. Sometimes the owner would say \034no I want to fire this person\035 etc.\n\nThe owners daughter and I began texting here and there making jokes. Mostly to pass time as I was working. One day I told her it needed to stop as I was developing feelings and it was going to interfere with work. She began harassing my phone until I talked to her again. She then became cold and manipulative. I found out she was talking about me behind my back to another co worker and i quit on the spot.\nI then found out they offered overtime to another coworker. Proper overtime. Time and a half including tips.\n\nI have photos sent from the boss of every schedule since I began working overtime. Showing I was consistently scheduled for 60 hours. I have a few pay stubs showing I was only paid for 40. No clock in clock out receipts. I have a piece of paper she wrote confirming I was paid cash for my overtime.\n\nA friend of mine told me L&I will pull all of the pay stubs and conduct an investigation. I am worried about myself getting in trouble and nothing happening to them. I am worried I will owe money and not get any of my back pay.
## 99 The comfort of my mattress swallowed me as I lay under the covers. The light from my phone lit up my face as I rewatched an old let's play from a YouTuber. I swiped the screen down to check the time, it was 10:34 PM. I groaned and paused the video, setting my phone face down with my eyes staring up at the ceiling. \n\nI should've been asleep an hour ago, but as usual, I prioritized entertainment over a decent night sleep. I slowly closed my eyes and tried desperately to fall asleep. Tossing and turning, trying to find a position to sleep comfortably. Annoyed, I opened my eyes and grabbed my phone to check the time. 10:39. \n\nSlamming my fist onto the mattress, I sat up and threw the covers off my body. If I was going to be awake, I might as well make it productive was the only thought going through my mind as I put on my socks and running shoes. Others may find it weird that I slept in full clothing, but I never had a problem sleeping, until tonight that is. \n\nPicking up my phone, I unlocked it and put on my playlist as I slipped my headphones in. Closing my bedroom door behind myself, I made my way into the kitchen and started searching the cabinets in the dark. It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for, a large bottle that I filled with tap water, I wasn't picky with water as long as it was clear. Screwing the cap on, I pulled out my phone to search up some night trails I could run on without looking like a creep. \n\nI scrolled through some of the trails I had already gone on until I saw one that I hadn't been on. Grenan Trail. This one stood out to me, I never saw this trail on the other times I looked through the list. \n\n"Fuck it, must be newly opened or some shit." \n\nPutting the address into my GPS, I also texted it to my best friend, who was probably asleep already, so that if I was murdered the police had an idea of where to look for my body. Within five seconds, I received a thumbs up emoji from him. With a chuckle, I left my home, making sure to lock the door as I left. While opening my car door, I stopped in my tracks. There was a quiet whisper that I almost missed, although I didn't hear what was said, I looked around to find the person who spoke. \n\nShrugging my shoulders, I got in and drove where the GPS was taking me. I arrived at the trail about 20 minutes later, and I parked in the empty lot. I exited my car and stood there with the door open as I took in my surroundings. The trail seemed well lit and surrounded by trees and other healthy shrubbery. What threw me off was the empty lot. All the other trails had even a couple other cars of people who were also on the route. \n\nWith a slight unease, I grabbed my bottle and closed my door, beeping the lock twice and sliding the keys in my pocket. I walked onto the rocky dirt path and started a simple stretch before running. Putting my headphones back into my ears and turned my music on, and started at a jog down the path. \n\nTime seemed to pass slowly as I picked up the pace, the music in my ears drowning out all noise around me. I started singing along to some pop song pretty loudly because no one else seemed to be on the trail. I sang as the song carried on into a quiet part. I was about to sing the words that I heard, until the song picked up just as loud as before, but I could still hear the whispering under the song. I stopped running and paused the music, taking my headphones out, listening to the whispering. \n\n"Turn... Left... Off... Path... Find..." \n\nWas all that I could hear from the whispering before it restarted, repeating the same words. I took five steps unwillingly towards the left. Stopping myself when I stepped off the trail, I spoke out loud, trying to convince myself this was stupid. \n\n"Come on, THIS is asking to be murdered. And very painfully at that. I'll just go home... Not dealing with this." \n\nI intended to turn back to the trail, however, my next step took me deeper into the trees. With a nervous laugh, I tried to step away again, but just traversed deeper into the trees. The more I struggled and resisted, the further I walked into the trees. I panicked as I no longer had control over my own body. \n\nI reached for my phone and was relieved when I could grab it without issue. The panic set back in as I turned on the flashlight instead of calling my friend. \n\n"No fucking way! Come on! Stop walking, turn around, you stupid body!" \n\nI shouted at myself when the light from the trail started to fade away and only my phones' light remained. Slowly, as I walked, the sounds of the night came alive, filling my ears with crickets and crunching leaves as small creatures ran around. \n\nShamefully, tears started to form in my eyes and I did my damn hardest not to let them fall. I kept walking for another thirty minutes before I came to a sudden stop. I looked around with teary eyes on the verge of falling, but all I saw was the empty forest floor in front of me. I stood there for about a minute in silence. \n\nSuddenly, a large crack rippled through the air, scaring the birds and animals in the area. I desperately wanted to run with them, but I was frozen in place. I tore my head in every direction, trying to get myself to run, run and not stop until my lungs exploded. As I looked around, the space in front of me looked as if it were cracking and splitting open. \n\nNo, it WAS splitting open! There was a hole ripping in space and something was trying to get out. I could no longer stop the tears from flowing as I began hyperventilating, terror gripping my soul. The rip split open wide with a sickening tear. A hand shot through it and grabbed onto the dirt and pulled, dragging more of it out. A man in his late twenties shoved his head out, he had blonde hair and some color green eyes, I couldn't tell. He looked around for a second before stopping on me. \n\n"You! Help, pull me out! We don't have time, please!" \n\nHe screamed and reached out a hand for me to grab. Without thinking, I knew I was back in control, so I ran and grabbed him without question and tried to pull. A loud crunching sound came from inside the ripple, it sounded like bones cracking under extreme pressure, and the man's eyes filled with fear. He ripped his hand away from mine and made a strange motion towards the ripple, and it began to close, with half of him still in it. \n\n"Damn! I was too late. Maybe, if you... I can't do the transfer properly. I'm sorry... This will hurt." \n\nThe man spoke quite sadly, and he quickly reached out his hand and grabbing my wrist with his last words. He whispered some unheard words as I tried to pull my arm away, but he had a surprisingly strong grip. When he finished speaking, a glowing tube sprouted from his wrist and made its way to mine. I realized a second too late that the end coming towards me had a needle point, and I couldn't react to stop it from stabbing into me. \n\nHuh... It didn't hurt more than a normal needle, he must not be used to pain. That was what I was thinking before I felt an electrical current flow into me, then I realized what the man meant by it will hurt. \n\n"Holy sh-! Make it stop! Get it off me!" I pleaded as I tried to pull the yellow light out of my arm, but my fingers just passed right through it. \n\n"You can't stop the transfer. I know it hurts, but it'll be worth it! You'll see." The man looked away as he spoke to me, making me think he wasn't telling the truth. \n\nIt was over in a few seconds, the yellow light stopped coming out of his wrist and ended in mine. He let go, and I fell backwards, looking at my wrist, it had no visible wound or evidence of the light. I looked back up at the man, but before I could question him, the rift closed and split the man in half, splashing a decent amount of blood on me. \n\nI watched the life drain from his eyes and his... half body went limp and blood flowed into a large puddle underneath him. I slowly stood and took a few steps back. My head suddenly felt light, and my vision started spinning, then black. The last thing I heard was my body falling onto the floor, finally asleep.
## 100 A little over a year ago, I proposed to my now fiancé and we were so excited that we immediately started texting our friends and family. The next morning, I receive a text from my brother who I had shared the exciting news the previous night that said "Are you still happy you're engaged?" Now I'm sure he meant it as a joke, but my fiancé saw it when she was looking over my shoulder and it really upset her (I can't blame her as he doesn't know her very well).\n\nFast forward a couple months and we had locked in our venue and wedding date. We started to share this exciting news with our friends and family, especially the ones who would have to travel to celebrate with us. My brother's response to the news was "August is a really bad month for teachers." My brother is a Jr High teacher and of course I should have thought of that when we were planning our wedding... Not to mention that my fiancé's brother is also a teacher who would be traveling for the wedding.\n\nFlash forward again and we now have our guest list finalized and our wedding invites in hand ready to send out. I begin to ask around for people's addresses and when asking my mom for my brother's new address since he had recently purchased a new home, she mentioned that they were expecting a baby in July (one month before our wedding in August) and that she wasn't sure if both my brother and his wife would be able to come and said I shouldn't take offense if his wife doesn't come. Unfortunately, my brother's wife is actually really nice and keeps him in check when he's being an ass. So if she isn't there, then he won't be as fun to hangout with because I'm sure he will complain about how he had to travel here and leave his wife with the baby and their 2yo (I live in MN, he lives in WI, it's only a 5 hour drive). It is here where I will mention that we had decided to make our reception a 21+ only event so no kids,..\n\nEvery comment he makes to me makes me feel like I'm trying to make my wedding a burden on him and that I should make him the exception, or change the weekend to the summer when he is off from school. But then I remember back 5 or so years ago, when I was fresh out of college and he was getting married. I spent over $1k to go to his destination bachelor party and since I was in the wedding I was required to stay in a hotel that cost $350/night so that I was with the others in the wedding party. So I dropped over $2k that I could have put towards student loans to attend his wedding and bachelor party and all I'm asking him to do is show up for mine. My mom says I'm just overreacting when I say that I honestly don't want to invite him because he has made it seem like an inconvenience to him rather than a celebration for me and my wife to be!\n\nAITA?
## 110 I spent the next 2 hours shutting down my station, and packing my stuff. Even destroyed my client list ( mine was the largest in the branch).\n\nWhen I got home about 3 hours later, he called me..\n\nBoss- " Hey Z! Where are you at? I Can't find you in the office."\n\nMe-" you fired me. Why the hell would I be at work?"\n\nBoss-" it's April fools! It was a joke! Get back In here."\n\nMe-" no. You clearly said I am fired. I'll be taking unemployment for a few months, and filing a complaint with HR."\n\nHe lost his shit, and I just hung up on him. It's not fucking funny, and I'm taking a vacation/riding the wrongful termination train. He has called me 10 times, and I think HR is calling me now.\n\nEdit: I'm already getting DMs calling me a lazy parasite. Love it.\n\nEdit 2: I kept my physical copy of the client list and destroyed the digital on-site copy.\n\nEdit 3: RIP my DMs. This post exploded in the hour it has existed. I'm trying to reply to people.\n\nEdit 4: Jeeze, thousands of replies and hundreds of DMs. I'm gonna fall asleep soon. I have a remote meeting with HR tomorrow, and I'll also be talking with a few other people in the company too. I'll post an update soon. Stay safe.\n\nEdit 5: (12:27 central/13:27 eastern) I'll make an update in about 4 hours, apparently a chunk of my coleagues walked out after he yelled at a few of then last night. Boss has been put on leave. He also sent me no less than 72 messages via text, and 13 voice mails. All of which I'm too lazy to look at atm. HR/another department lead have been talking with me since 7:30am. Update soon.\n\nEdit 6: final update for original post. Here is a link to the new events/post.\n https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/tuubbb/update_my_boss_told_me_i_was_fired_as_an_april/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
## 210 It's okay to always be that friend who starts up the conversation. Never assume they don't like you or don't want to spend time with you just because they don't text you first or invite you to things. Don't ever tell yourself that without evidence to back it up.\n\nIt's a two-way street and they want to feel accepted and feel like they belong just like you do, at least to some degree. You reaching out tells the other person that they are important to you. This boosts your self-esteem for stepping out of your comfort zone and helps them feel more confident in themselves. Double win and you get to spend time with a friend.\n\nEdit: There's this friend of mine who we literary became like brothers and sisters. The first time I visited her I was so surprised everyone in her family knew me. I moved to a new city 4 years ago but always kept in touch with her. I was visiting my parents and called her for us to catch up before she gets married. She said she's too busy in that weekend and she can't. Okay. Fast forward a week later, my other home friends sent me pictures of her wedding. It turns out she got married that weekend I was visiting my parents. I have tried to call her since then but she's has not picked up, apparently she's angry I did not come the wedding.\n\nEdit 2: I knew she's getting married this year but not sure about the date. I'm not blaming her but had she told me she's getting married that Saturday. I would have been there. Now there's some strange theories as to why I was not in attendance. I even come to this sub to look for tips of wedding presents.
## 310 *I am not the OP. The OP is:* u/cantdothis_anymore \n\nAcronyms: HL = high libido, LL = low libido\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7iik8k/im_severely_panicking_that_ive_ruined_my_life/?st=JB02OMJO&sh=d61bd781)\n\nLong time lurker on here. I \\[HL 27 M\\] never wanted to admit I had a problem with my \\[LL 25 F\\] fiancé. We started off going at it like rabbits and within 5 years we have sex once every few months. Here's the problem. I'm writing this as I'm in hotel room, about to go to my rehearsal dinner for my wedding that's tomorrow morning. This should be a happy time for me but I'm just filled with dread. I'm out of state for my destination wedding and literally all of my closest friends and family that flew out here to see me on what is suppose to be they happiest day of my life have no clue how unhappy I am. I hate myself for letting it get this far. I hate myself for thinking she was the victim. This started last year, a couple months after we got engaged. The sex dropped off. We talked, she told me I shouldn't pressure her to have sex if I loved her and wanted to marry her. I tried talking nicely to her, asking if I can change anything to make it more more fun for her. She would just use excuses first, like she her stomach was upset or she was tired. I told her that if her stomach was bothering her so frequently (weeks at a time) that we should visit a doctor. Then she would come at me screaming saying I don't believe her. Which I didn't. Every time I wanted to go out with friends she would say, "aww, I wanted to have sex tonight". And if I came back early, she said "too late, I'm sleepy"\n\nI spoke about this with her again this Monday. I told her that we're getting married, and we should start off our life right. And she basically told me that she ideally would love to have sex once every 3-4 months. And that if I loved her I would respect her and not make her feel pressured.\n\nI should have canceled everything right there and then. A week before our wedding. But I couldn't even think where to start, we would lose all our deposits. What about the flights people had booked and all the time off they requested?\n\nThis morning when we woke up she told me how we are going to be sleeping in different rooms tonight because of the tradition. Fine. And then she told me that she's been super stressed from the wedding and how she's looking forward to the honeymoon and she basically told me to not ruin it for her by always bugging her and trying to initiate sex. And now I feel like I'm a victim myself. And that I made myself the victim for not getting out earlier. And I honestly want to scream my head off and wake up from this nightmare.\n\n[2nd Update (a few days later)](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7iqyhw/i_bailed_on_my_own_wedding_update/)\n\n First I want to thank everyone who replied to my original post. I'm severely panicking that I've ruined my life [https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7iik8k/im\\_severely\\_panicking\\_that\\_ive\\_ruined\\_my\\_life/?st=JB02OMJO&sh=d61bd781](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7iik8k/im_severely_panicking_that_ive_ruined_my_life/?st=JB02OMJO&sh=d61bd781)\n\nI couldn't reach out to everyone individually, I was kind of letting the responses sink in. I never thought I would get so much help, and for that I really thank you all.\n\nWhen I saw that 99% of the replies said the same thing, I panicked. I wanted someone to tell me that I'm being irrational and that it will all get better after the wedding, that I just had cold feet. I told my finance that we had to talk and told her it couldn't wait until after the rehearsal dinner. She told me that we can't be late, and I begged her to talk to me. I told her how I was feeling, and I was begging her to reassure me that she will help me, that she'll help us get back to who we were when we first met. I desperately told her I wanted to save our future marriage. She told me I'm being ridiculous and that I was "banned" (her exact words) from going to the rehearsal dinner with my silly emotional state. I stayed in my room, and cried. There was a lot of back story I didn't share on my first post. My parents are friends with her parents, and our fathers belong to the same invitation only club. (Golfing) I knew my dad wouldn't have my back. And I know so many of you said to confront him and tell him. So I did, after the rehearsal was over and everyone went to bed I spoke to him and my mom. And they dismissed me pretty much. Told me we can benefit from marriage counseling but that it isn't a reason to cancel a wedding the night before. They promised me help after we get back from the honeymoon. So, morning rolls in. And I wake up at quarter to 7. Wedding ceremony starts at 10. I tell my best man that I'm not doing it. I tell him what's going on. (He's known about the sexless part for a while but not to this extent) I told him to tell my groomsmen and everyone else. I didn't want to deal with that, one of the groomsmen is her brother and would cause issues. He's not a close friend, but she wanted him in the party. I wanted to tell the pastor but I honestly didn't even know where to find the guy or reach him. I haven't really been allowed to do much in the planning of this wedding, just know what to say and where to show up. So I wrote a note on those hotel note pads they have on the nightstand. I just wrote that since I'm still in my silly emotional state, I'm "banning" myself from the wedding. And that I'm going back to the apartment to collect my things. I told her to enjoy her wedding, and that she should definitely go and enjoy the honeymoon since all expenses were covered by me. So now I'm just on my layover. A couple more hours until I'm back to where I use to call home. I pay the rent, but I called my landlord and paid an additional 2 months so she can figure things out. I'll be taking my most essential stuff as quickly as I can and then will be crashing at my best friends (best man) apartment. I'm then booking myself 2 weeks vacation to Hawaii. I don't even want to be in this state when everyone gets back. Nor do I have the power to deal with it right now.\n\nThank you everyone. Seriously, thank you for helping me make such a hard decision. I know how I left seems cowardly, but knowing my family and hers, it was the easiest for me at the moment. I know I have to face them at some point, but for now I need to get my peace back.\n\nAlso, the amount of missed calls I've gotten from her, and a bunch of other people is scary.\n\nEdit- thank you so much to everyone who posted, I'm trying to reply as much as I can, I'm back home now and quickly packing up my important belongings, so it may take a while for me to respond.\n\nEdit- I wanted to take a minute and talk a little bit about my parents since I've gotten a lot of DMs asking about the situation. I didn't include this in the original post because I didn't think it was important to mention, and that I didn't want to seem like I was bragging about money.\n\nMy parents are wealthy, and have a high social standing. I grew up in this life style, and have always done my best to make them proud. I was in a relationship before my ex fiancé that my parents didn't approve of at all. (She wasn't from a rich family and was too rough around the edges for them, and she had a tattoo) Anyway, they always did everything in their power to have me end it. They made her feel terrible, they made me feel terrible. I'm ashamed to admit that I left that girl eventually after my parents introduced me to my ex fiancé. Her family is friends with mine and belong to the same country club. It's a mistake that my dumb young mind back then couldn't comprehend. They convinced me I didn't love her, and I guess I saw the shiny new toy in front of me and caved. I wanted to make them happy so bad. So, that's why when everyone was telling me to go to my parents about this, I knew that I wouldn't get the support. And I know that I'm going to be blamed for this, there's no reasoning or explaining it away. My parents are rational people or kind for that matter. I still think of my old ex to this day. She was an amazing girl, I wonder what would of happened if I was strong enough back then to have said no.\n\n[3rd Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7julfs/i_bailed_on_my_own_wedding_another_update/)\n\n I know I've said this in my last post, but I wanted to thank everyone again for caring and giving me advice. All your comments and PMs were greatly appreciated and I know I made the best choice in a bad situation. I'm sorry to everyone who I didn't reply to, I had an overwhelming amount of messages sent to me and couldn't get to all of them because of how busy the last few days have been. I'm sorting through all of them now, and reply as quickly as I can. I got a lot of messages asking similar questions so I'll try to answer those in this post.\n\nFirst off, I didn't end up going to Hawaii, and I don't see it in the near future either. The shit storm caught up to me about 24 hours after I landed my feet back in my city to clean up our apartment. I did my best to ignore all texts and phone calls and only answered to inform people that I was okay, and that I need some time. My best friend (best man) has been getting an overwhelming amount of shit, too. Which I feel terrible for because it wasn't his decision at all, and I didn't want to make him my scapegoat. So I've decided to stay in town for the next few weeks at least so I can help him deal with all this. He had my back, and I'll definitely have his. It wouldn't be fair to leave him when seriously everyone that can't get ahold of me, is going to him.\n\nI have talked to my ex (on the phone) since. I wanted to make sure she was okay and wanted to tell her in a short and simple manner that I did not want to marry her ever, and how I no longer will continue any relationship with her. I told her the reasons why, again. At first, she was apologizing and crying, which was the toughest for me because I hate making people upset. Then, she was back to blaming me for why she wasn't affectionate or loving or no sex. Like everything I would mention about her she turned it around and said, well it's because of this, that. So, I told her that since I have so many issues, perfect that were not together anymore. Then, she became crazy and started threatening, saying how she'll ruin me and that she's taking me to court. Her dad also sent me messages on how they're talking to their lawyers. My parents, at this point are mentally disowning me, if not actually disowning me. My father will refuse to talk to me and I've only talked to my mother for a bit, telling her I'm alright and why I really couldn't go through with it.\n\nI've gotten a lot of people asking if I'm alright and saying that they're here for me. And I'm glad for it. But I've also had a lot of people questioning on why I've become a "dick" and "asshole"\n\nI've cleaned out my stuff from the apartment, I have everything I need back with my best friend with whom I'm staying with. I took the cat too. Because I got him before knowing her. Luckily I did it all in one day, and don't have to go back for any reason. I guess her brother is pretty heated and flew back almost immediately because he showed up at my friend's apartment trying to get in and yelling.\n\nAnyway, I don't have any regrets except letting it get this far. I apologized to everyone for that, and I am sorry for it. But I am not sorry for ending this toxic relationship.\n\nSo, some of the questions I've received are about my parents status. Yes, I come from a rich family, and so does my ex fiancé. Our parents paired us up based on social status and because they were all very close in the community. Yes, I did get a trust from my dad that I was able to claim when I turned 25, so we were/are financially involved. And yes, I do make my own money. I work a full time job and make a great salary that definitely doesn't need to be supplemented if my parents cut me out of their lives.\n\nAnd I've gotten quite a lot of questions about my ex girlfriend (before my ex fiancé) that I briefly mentioned in my last post. Me and her met young, and fell in what we thought was love. She was amazing in every sense of the word, just by her love of life and pretty much everything else. She was always positive and kind. I mean every relationship has issues, and we did too. But it was just so much simpler back then, and probably because we were so young. We had great sex, great times, and she was my best friend. I'll probably never love someone as much as the young me loved her back then. But with being young, and idiotic, you make dumb decisions and you're easily swayed. I've tried to please my parents my entire life. With school, with my social life, with my career. And they hated her. They hated that she had a tattoo, that she didn't come from a rich family, that her dad was out of the picture. They didn't say those were the reasons, but I knew. And eventually, the relationship was too hard to keep. They were terrible to her, constantly. And she put up with it like a trooper. But i remember how hard it was, and how easy letting go seemed. Especially when my parents introduced me to my ex fiancé. A shiny new toy. I'm not proud of leaving her, and I know that I would of ended up marrying her. But my mind couldn't comprehend back then.\n\nI've had a lot of people ask me to reach out to her, and I've had a lot of people that cautioned against it. I've spoken to her a few years ago since our breakup, but just briefly. I found her on social media and sent her "hello, it's nice to see you again :)" and she just replied with "Congratulations, I heard you got married". Anyway, it was a long conversation, and we had some laughs but we're meeting for coffee Sunday night, so there's that. :)\n\nNow, I'm not expecting a single thing, and I'm not trying to get her in bed either. I will be having enough to deal with for the next week or so, but it will be nice seeing an old dear friend. And I'll leave it at that. Thanks again for everyone here. This little community is helping me get through this and I'm so thankful for that.\n\nIf anyone is in a bad situation, and you know so in your heart, get out. Everyone deserves to be happy. And only you can get you there. Lots of love\n\n[4th Update - 2 months later](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7t2bvt/im_the_guy_who_canceled_his_wedding_2_month_update/)\n\n Hello everyone!\n\nI\031ve gotten an enormous amount of support on this sub and I\031m grateful to everyone here, I really can\031t thank you enough. Again, I\031m sorry if I haven\031t replied to every comment or PM, my mailbox got flooded and I haven\031t had much time on here at all. So I apologize, I\031ve been trying to message back. If you want to chat, just send me another message and I\031ll go through my recents first.\n\nIt\031s been almost 2 months since I canceled. I\031m back at work, still living with my best friend (best man). My parents still aren\031t talking to me. My dad told my mom to tell me that I\031m dead to him and that he regrets ever giving me a dime of his money.\n\nI lost a lot of friends. And a lot of relatives. I\031ve been labeled \034the biggest asshole\035 by many people, and even blasted on social media. My ex is a vindictive bitch, and made up a bunch of shit about me cheating on her and that\031s why she held off sex. For the record, it wasn\031t true. Ever.\n\nShe tried the whole being nice thing to get me back, and when it didn\031t work she became crazy and threatening. Her family has threatened me and friend, especially her brother. We had to call the cops on him once actually after warning him not to come back. My ex fiancé has threatened a lawsuit (I briefly discussed this in my last post) and her family\031s lawyer actually got in contact with me. Not sure if it will actually make it to court, but I\031m going through the process to protect myself with my lawyer.\n\nI met up with my ex, ex. The girl I dated before my fiancé. I spoke about her in my last update. We had coffee, and things went great. We\031ve been seeing each other casually a couple times a week since. Taking it super slow, but I\031m very happy to have contact with her again. She\031s been super great at just being a happy person to have through this time.\n\nIt\031s just been kind of non stop drama, so I\031ve closed myself off of any social media and even some family.\n\nIf anyone has any questions, just let me know! I\031ll cover more if I think of anything I left out.\n\n[Final Update - A year later](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/d2wxxc/for_anyone_that_remembers_me_i_canceled_my_db/)\n\n **For anyone that remembers me, I canceled my DB wedding the morning of. Update**\n\nOver a year later and I\031m back to say hi to the group that helped me out when no one would. My life has taken a 360 turn but I wouldn\031t go back and change it.\n\nIf you read my original post you\031ll know that I was in a DB relationship and about to get married at a destination wedding. I canceled the morning of after talking to some amazing people on here. All hell broke loose and it\031s now finally quiet.\n\nMy parents, my ex, and her parents are all crazy. I have gone NC with my parents unfortunately. I was sued and harassed for almost this entire past year. I had to leave my job and my livelihood behind and I\031ve actually never been this broke before it\031s almost funny. My ex played the \034I ruined her life\035 card and only really stopped when she knew there was nothing left to take.\n\nWell guys, I still have my pride, my integrity, and I also have sex. I rekindled my relationship with my high school sweetheart (the one my family desperately tried to get me away from) and we are just got engaged :) There are no plans for a wedding yet, it will probably be something small between us and my best man and her best friend.
## 410 I f(28) own a digital travel magazine and make my money by writing about interesting destinations around the world. I started this business 3 years ago and I'm now making quite a bit of money (close to 6 figures but not quite there). My friend, "Laura" f(27) told me my business idea is stupid and I should just get a job like everybody else.\n\nNow, I'm no influencer and I don't post dressy pictures on instagram or anything like that. I just write good, honest text about destinations. Good travel guides that people love.\n\nWhen she heard how much money I'm making from my "stupid" job she decided to change strategies.\n\nAbout 1 years ago, Laura decided to also create her own travel magazine and basically copy every single article from me. She reworded a lot of stuff but ultimately, you can see even the structure of the articles being the same. Even the affiliates I'm using, the wording, the call to action and her main page.\n\nThat's pretty deflating, but I never told her anything about this because I didn't want to discourage her. But I also didn't want to tell her how to run the business as it's taken me years to get to this point. Ultimately, she is now my competition. I did hint she should be unique and find her own voice and her own niche.\n\nLaura and I used to go visit places together. Two friends, traveling together. Now it's a bit stressful because I know she is relying on me to find and scout locations and she just wants to join to also write about these places.\n\nI know my way around SEO and how to do keyword research. I pick a lot of places based on this and their demand. So I find it a bit uncomfortable that she's just coming along because she knows she will get a good keyword destination out of it.\n\nAnyway, I recently moved to a town in the US that has a lot of potential for me to write about it. Plenty of demand, lots of keywords and I've got so much to write about here.\n\nShe's recently asked me to come visit and stay at mine. I've no problem with this, as she is my friend.\n\nBut she told me she will bring her camera to photograph it all and wants me to take her to all the "hidden gems" and to show her the best things to do and see etc.\n\nIt's taken me a while to discover all these things and now wants to tap into my niche and write about it as well.\n\nAt the end of the day, we do compete for limited space on search engines and I'm exhausted. She first discouraged me, now she's seen my success, she's decided to copy it and she continues to do so.\n\nI told her I don't want to host her is she's coming to write about my niche destination. She was livid! She said I'm an awful friend and I don't want her to succeed. That I'm selfish and ignorant.\n\nI personally feel she should know that competing friends should never cross these boundaries. I'm hosting her on my expense, she should know better or at least ask me if I'm ok to write about the same destination.\n\nAITA for telling her to pay for her own hotel and discover the location on her own if she wants to write about it? \n\n\nUPDATE: Your comments were eye opener, she is clearly not my friend. I don't know how I ignored all the signs for so long. We were friends since childhood, and I guess it's hard to let go of people you grow up with. Not that is an excuse for my inability to see her for what she is: a snake. \nA friend would be supportive and not manipulative. She should have understood a long time ago that what she's doing is not OK. I am at peace with my decision and I'm glad I've told her I don't want her in my home. You are all right it's time to block her number and move on.
## 510 After seeing various posts and theories in this sub about GameStop's stock split / stock dividend, I started putting together the puzzle pieces of the past months and years, and well.... **I see a plan and I see MOASS in 2022!**\n\n*I took most of the content from other posts from this sub. So this post is the work of many and not just my own. I just gathered the information and put the puzzle pieces together. So your research and opinion may be part of this post (you can comment or write a DM if i missed something and I will give you credits). The croudsourcing on this sub is remarkable, not for nothing were we praised by Jon Stewart for this property.*\n\n Also, this post was first created in German and only quickly thrown into the translator, I hope the grammar does not suffer from it.\n\n# - GameStock stock split / stock dividend -\n\n[u\\/cr420r](https://preview.redd.it/468na5tr6er81.png?width=529&format=png&auto=webp&s=55acc365ee06b9e6822e0ec94cbe772a57f1c35b)\n\n[https://news.gamestop.com/node/19686/html](https://news.gamestop.com/node/19686/html) (8k announcement)\n\n[*Here*](https://myaccountinghelp.org/stock-dividend-vs-stock-split/) *you can read again the difference between a "normal" stock split and a stock dividend like GameStop is issuing.*\n\nGameStop announced a stock split on 3/31, but it still has to be approved by shareholders at the annual meeting this summer. The number of shares GameStop could issue was previously 300 million meaning there was a cap on the total number of shares that will be increased from 300 million to 1 billion. GameStop had the option to issue 300 million shares at the time, but chose to issue only 76 million. (Of course, there are now far more shares in circulation due to naked shorting).\n\nThe special thing about this, however, is that GameStop is issuing the new shares as a dividend, which is a kind of "reward" for the investors. Shortsellers or institutions that have lent their shares are not entitled to the dividend (lenders will take back their shares to be entitled to the dividend). You then get, for example, 7 new GameStop shares for every existing GameStop share you own in a 7 - 1 split.\n\nThis also brings me directly to the next topic....\n\n# - Tesla -\n\nNamely, Tesla - which was also plagued by short-selling at the time - did a similar stock split in 2020, they announced it in March and in August it was done after **shareholders voted "yes" at the annual meeting.**\n\nAt the end of March 2020, Tesla was trading at about $100. When the vote was held 5 months later, the price was $290. Some short positions were probably closed because they feared the vote would be positive (speculation at the point). Then the vote took place and was approved.\n\nShareholders had to own Tesla by August 21 to receive the dividend, and the share price reached $410. 10 days later, when the stock dividend was actually paid, the stock was trading at $442.\n\n**I think you know what I'm trying to say, don't you ? And remember the official short interest in Tesla at that time was only \\~20% and not up to 226%.**\n\n[Yes, that is interesting!](https://preview.redd.it/eq0uabm8ebr81.png?width=697&format=png&auto=webp&s=79b306a9d9bc89f7c2e79dc15c2a9b79e48a27a5)\n\nBut for the first time, let's rewind a bit to 2018, when Tesla was the most shorted stock on the market. ([Tesla Naked Shorting blog post](https://teslamotorsclub.com/tmc/threads/the-rolling-naked-tesla-short.15417/) from 2013 - see the similarities?).\n\nNamely, no less than Bryron from Loopring suggested 4 years ago on Elon's shortseller thread to do an Initial Coin Offering (ICO) to force Tesla shorts to close and the coins could then be used for e.g. Internet of Things (IOT) payments in the Tesla ecosystem. **Simulation confirmed.** (The point will be revisited later).\n\nAdditionally, Ryan followed Elon on Twitter for a while before eventually just following GameStop. I imagine the conversation has continued over the last 4 years about this. Elon still hates shortsellers and so does Ryan!\n\n[Elon's OG Twitter Thread on Shortsellers](https://preview.redd.it/w8lnybyjebr81.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=54aff42e4e849997433b637a638919292755212e)\n\n[Answer Tweet von Byron Loopring](https://preview.redd.it/2sj96m8mebr81.png?width=590&format=png&auto=webp&s=89ca325434c30a989b957f07651c9b209a5b3368)\n\nGuess who was Head of Business at Loopring at the time?\n\n[Matt Finestone](https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-finestone-7bb8ba51/?trk=public_profile_browsemap&originalSubdomain=ca), the current head of the blockchain department at GameStop.\n\n[unforgettable support from Elon at the January sneeze](https://preview.redd.it/ulqa6bmsebr81.png?width=587&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f91c1acb5d9af46fbfab8ea33e4de7f3eb2e502)\n\nHowever, there is still a comparison to GameStop's announced stock dividend that needs to be looked at....\n\n# - Overstock -\n\nOverstock and its founder Patrick Byrne were also victims of naked shorting. For example, [Byrne warned of the potential consequences of the scheme back in 2006](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLnw2_q5iMk&ab_channel=whereAreTheShares). He also tried to get the attention on the problem and therefore he participated in many interviews and made videos around naked shorting:\n\n* [What is naked shorting? "The power of a theory is its ability to predict."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdBe5_8z53A&ab_channel=BigThink)\n* [Video of Byrne discussing illegal naked shorts, criminal activity by Citadel, Amazon breaking up small businesses, and the ignorance of the SEC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XQXPiYDkcI&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=ShortsDidNotClose)\n* ["There is in place a system, an Al-Qaeda so to speak, a loosely organized group of people who are destroying small companies and looting the savings of America" ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/rypsfh/there_is_in_place_a_system_an_alqaeda_so_to_speak/)\n* [Patrick Byrne calls Steve Cohen (Point72) the "Sith Lord" of short sellers](https://www.businessinsider.com/overstock-ceo-patrick-byrne-names-steve-cohen-and-mike-milken-as-sith-lords-2010-1)\n* ["If you haven't DRS'd your shares, you do not own them"](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/s1qrpm/overstock_ceo_if_you_havent_drsd_your_shares_you/)\n\nHis battle against short sellers and the ["cellar boxing" plan of MMs and SHFs](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/pmj9yk/i_found_the_entire_naked_shorting_game_plan/) led Bryne pretty unsuccessfully for years, however he announced a digital dividend with Overstock to force the closing of short positions.\n\n[(Here's a great DD on that i used in this text from u/Minuteman\\_Capital](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/o6si8c/how_overstocks_squeeze_was_a_twopart_squiz_court/)[)](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/o6si8c/how_overstocks_squeeze_was_a_twopart_squiz_court/)\n\n**What happened with Overstock?**\n\nOverstock issued digital shares. Because they are tied to a blockchain, they are unique and have intrinsic value that has no cash equivalent. DTCC wanted to get around this and told the brokers that a payment in lieu of a dividend was in order, and DTCC set the value. This was stopped by Overstock in court because DTCC was trying to be shady. That's why it looks like there were two squeezes at Overstock. The first one was stopped when DTCC said that payments in lieu of dividends were okay, and some brokers wanted to implement it that way first.\n\n[Overstock from the announcement of the digital dividend to the effective squeeze](https://preview.redd.it/lydm226mfbr81.png?width=1302&format=png&auto=webp&s=9784948175dbac15f4fde09c40c6844d6acfcd11)\n\nThe hedgies were fucked and after an initial "fake squeeze" the real overstock squeeze increased by 17x, although the official short interest was much lower than GME today. The second squeeze occurred over the course of 4 months after the digital dividend was issued.\n\n**The details of the court case almost certainly set a legal precedent for GME to do the same.** *(For more information on the court process, see this great DD by* u/Region-Formal *explaining the details in easy to understand terms)*\n\n* [*https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptvq89/the\\_overstock\\_court\\_ruling\\_in\\_utah\\_yesterday/*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptvq89/the_overstock_court_ruling_in_utah_yesterday/)\n\nSo Ryan Cohen bought into GameStop shortly after Overstock introduced the concept of ending naked shorting.\n\n* RC saw that a digital dividend had legal precedent\n* RC saw that while the shorts were busted, the problem of naked shorts and fake stock was not fixed and the market was still a sham\n\n**So he's been tweaking a solution for almost 2-years....**\n\nReally every company realizes what eliminating fake shares from their inventory does. Naked shorting robs company investors of money in exchange for something that doesn't exist, and the company itself misses out on revenue for those shorted shares. So the company loses operating revenue and in most cases the company is driven out of business.\n\n# And that's how GameStop begins its journey to become a technology company and fuck the shorts in the process\n\n*(Credits to* u/antidecaf *for* [this Information](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tuj9j6/rc_fired_the_nuclear_warhead_and_no_one_is/)*)*\n\nI'm pretty sure Ryan Cohen is following suit, so GameStop will soon announce that the stock they issue via dividend will be delivered in the form of tokenized securities to the new GameStop wallet on the NFT marketplace. Given what they know, it would be irresponsible for GameStop's board to put new shares into DTCC's hands.\n\n* **The existing shares** (76 million) would remain where they currently are and can continue to be traded through a broker on the public exchanges\n* **The new shares** that are issued can then be traded on GameStop's own marketplace via blockchain\n\n**So no broker can't pay out cash in lieu of a tokenized security. Shorts can't offer fake shares and then just resell them endlessly.**\n\nIf you have your Stonks DRS and they are in your name, then you can easily get your tokenized shares from Computershare.\n\nIf your shares are not in Computershare, then you may find that your broker is unlikely to deliver, as there are not enough tokenized shares to deliver every shareholder their entitlement.\n\nIt is maybe not enough for a proof of Naked Shorting, but there are currently 76 million shares outstanding and about 14 million short sales reported on the stock exchange, these 14 million (not naked) short sales would be enough for Moass. Uncovered short sales, of which I think we have a lot, could perhaps not be proven, but would still have to be covered, currently they are uncovered and hidden from the stock exchanges.\n\nShorts would have only two options left in this case:\n\n* They buy back all the fake shares from the brokers to fulfill their obligation to provide tokenized shares\n* They try to buy tokenized shares for the short positions on their books. In both cases, it is a **forced purchase of GME** and a **trigger for MOASS** as it triggers an avalanche of short covering. Maintaining the short positions also costs the shorts a chunk of money....\n\nThe real problem for shorts would be now that there will not be tokenized shares to buy because all shareholders are entitled the divident, if a short cant deliver they must close, so at divident pay day, MOASS should already happened and the tokenized shares have served their purpose for starting the Rocket, their value will be what the market sets on them.\n\nAll shares are real, they sold us fake ones, buy is buying them makes them real, the shorter is required to return the share if it cant deliver a divident, and a return of a share is identical to buying any share for sale.\n\nSay post moass, lets say 50% of retail held shares are at Computershare/ GameStop Wallet and 50% of retail held shares at at brokers, all are real.\n\n(*Excerpt from a* [*good and detailed explanatory DD*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tuoeaz/the_coming_horrors_awaiting_shorts/)*, about the coming horrors that await the shorts. Credits to* u/raddoc22)\n\nLet's assume a SHF has a short position of 5 million GameStop shares (we know the number is much larger - the official short interest alone is 15 million shares, according to Ortex)\n\n**If you are short a stock, you are not entitled to a stock dividend, you actually have to pay for the dividend.**\n\n>If an investor is short a stock on the record date, he or she is not entitled to the dividend. Instead, the investor is responsible for paying the dividend, which he owes to the lender of the stock he is short and has borrowed. - Investopedia\n\nAfter a lets say 5 to 1 dividend, SHF is still short 5 million GME. But now they also have to deliver an additional 25 million shares, bringing the liability to 30 million shares.\n\n**Time for some smooth math:**\n\nA SHF has sold 5 million shares of GameStop at the market price of $165. If they had to close that position now at that price before the dividend, that's a cool $825 million they'd have to raise. But let's assume SHF can't or won't close the position before the dividend. So he's left with 5 million shares in the red after a 5-to-1 dividend. Now the SHF has a commitment of 30 million shares of which 25 million must be bought and delivered.\n\nThe SHF could keep their short position of 5 million shares open, so by potentially having to buy 25 million shares (5 to 1 of their original position) at a price somewhere between $90.80 and $245....\n\n90.80 x 25,000,000 = $2.27 billion\n\n245 x 25,000,000 = $6.125 billion.\n\nOuch. Remember, this is just to keep their 5 million short positions open. If they want to close out their positions completely, they have to add the cost of another 5 million shares:\n\nBest case: $2.27 billion + (5,000,000 x 90.80)= $2.681 billion\n\nWorst case: $6.125 billion + (5,000,000 x 245) = $7.35 billion\n\n**Good thing the shorts were all closed in January 2021, right?**\n\n[german version of \\\\"i doubt it\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/31xs55pfgbr81.png?width=392&format=png&auto=webp&s=40c2dd1e1677f4080b448377e3e2e187297ded68)\n\nThat's exactly how Overstock did it, and they set an important precedent in lawsuits that they won. GameStop also has a clause that says they have to approve any payment in lieu of a dividend, and DTCC can't act on its own in this matter.\n\nThe problem for the shorts will be that simply buying back the shares will not be enough if shorts do not have the shares available.\n\nEveryone who owns a share on the record date is entitled to a dividend. So to "fulfill the obligation" they would have to buy back the shares **BEFORE** the record date. Now if I'm interpreting this correctly, that means MOASS start **AND** ends before we receive our new shares. **So we finally have a plausible time frame for MOASS. Hedgies are fuck!**\n\n# But why do I believe GameStop is really issuing token shares ?\n\n*(Following Information is from this great* [*GME Exchange DD*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tsd61i/gme_exchange_change_the_game_an_all_encompassing/) *by* u/bosshax)\n\nBecause of this guy GameStop hired in Dec 2021: [**Kurt FUCKING Bierbower**](https://www.linkedin.com/in/kurtb1200/) <{ MORE BIERPOWER!!! <{\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/9p770ar4hbr81.png?width=736&format=png&auto=webp&s=596cfdccb533a33daa3a5885922658a1702903f8\n\nKurt is an **all-star blockchain executive** and the **head of GME Entertainment LLC**, the stealth Web3 startup created inside GameStop, which will likely see another spinoff in the future as Ryan Cohen likes spinoffs, see his letter to the BBBY board ( u/knutolee [spinoff theory](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tgw6qf/screening_the_ryan_cohen_playbook_the_systematic/) \\- here we go again). Remember this is a long term play and nothing will happen overnight, the company still needs to grow and generate revenue from the Web3 division to make this process.\n\nBack to Kurt, who closed the deal between GameStop and IMX on behalf of GME Entertainment LLC.\n\nAs already stated Kurt is a blockchain superstar - but he brings a very unique set of skills. **He brings something to GameStop that no one else has, or hasn't yet :-)**\n\nKurt has experience with US regulated cryptocurrency and blockchain technology. He has also been heavily involved in deals with the largest FX brokers in the world, the largest cryptocurrency exchange in Japan, bitcoin mining, gaming platforms, NFT platforms, and stablecoins.\n\nHe also comes from the institutional world (Big Money) and created a regulated dark pool cryptocurrency exchange.\n\n[There is a theory](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/t7ghsf/gamestop_loopring_tokenized_peer_to_peer_stock/) that GameStop is working on building an **Alternate Trading System (ATS) exchange** based on ComputerShare with the GameStop wallet on the Loopring protocol.\n\n**So Kurt Bierbower is the head of GME Entertainment LLC, an all-star of blockchain banking, and the visionary who will make GameStop and our theories mainstream.**\n\nImagine if your GameStop wallet held **your OWN digital assets**, including cash, NFTs, cryptos, and stocks. You could lend your assets and get paid interest. Brokers and banks make fat profits lending out your stocks and cash... in part... without your knowledge. Very soon you can do it yourself. **BE YOUR OWN BANK!**\n\n[Dreams become reality](https://preview.redd.it/9uz98ffohbr81.png?width=591&format=png&auto=webp&s=cb737ba6b3ed456d2f8fbd05564475c9073c76ff)\n\nAn acquisition of Loopring is also still up in the air according to the rumor mill, and it's not through yet. Most won't see the great technology behind it until later, though Loopring has been pretty transparent all along about what they can do with their protocol. **A decentralized Binance and Robinhood.**\n\n# PG-13, do you OGs remember that?\n\nBack to the stock split and the issuance of the new shares.\n\n**It can't be said enough: best to DRS if you want the most coveted digital property in history delivered guaranteed.**\n\nThe record date for this will be announced after the AGM vote in the summer, along with the exact split ratio. It's the date by which you have to have bought your shares to be eligible for the dividend.\n\nThe lenders of shares (brokers) will recall their borrowed shares for the dividend and vote (for reasons). If there are shorts left before the dividend and it is a **7-4-1** split, my fingers are really tingling. **The OG DDs are coming true!**\n\n[cryptic split leak from July 2021](https://preview.redd.it/nsb9o8qxhbr81.png?width=588&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8caff4aa2db8660671230338702790ab3230053)\n\n[9-month old DD via stock split - credits to u\\/BurnieSlander \\(give this king a flair!\\)](https://preview.redd.it/i7dk7tnzhbr81.png?width=734&format=png&auto=webp&s=e064a9130074e85050c3f8bb295a6d7daa400f55)\n\nLink to the OG PG-13 DD: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/onw3ie/pg13/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/onw3ie/pg13/)\n\n[We couldn't have a cooler chair man><U+0091>! Love you Ryan!](https://preview.redd.it/133iwos7ibr81.png?width=797&format=png&auto=webp&s=64b5afb7a6337a8009c823064d18c79f165ceebb)\n\nI guess Ryan Cohen wouldn't be saying **"Buckle up!"** and the GameStop Twitter account wouldn't be tweeting **"oops \\*moass\\* my bad"** if they weren't really planning on helping us autistic people get to the moon....\n\n[was deleted again shortly after publication](https://preview.redd.it/df2rghfoibr81.png?width=310&format=png&auto=webp&s=5fe1a70d23e42592bff17872b06e295933c955ba)\n\nWe've all been following RC's tweets since January 2021. These are by far the most direct messages to us. After all, there has been a lot written about the art of war, and I won't pretend to have read it, but I know that one of the rules is **"attack your enemies only when victory is certain."** Most of what Ryan has said about shorts in the past was simply an emoji with a pair of shorts. Now, not only has he put it into words, but he's compared shorts to the Stormtroopers from Star Wars. But even better than that is that he called them the **DUMB Stormtroopers**.\n\nRyan has the path of victory in mind and there is no stopping him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have challenged his enemies so blatantly. We will win this fight! It is a pleasure to board this rocket ship with you. See you soon on the moon<\031 =<U+0080> =h=<U+0080>\n\n(great theory on RC's acting and a comparison to Sun Tzu's tactical dispositions in The Art of War)\n\n* [https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tb09z3/theory\\_on\\_why\\_rc\\_is\\_acting\\_and\\_communicating\\_more/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/tb09z3/theory_on_why_rc_is_acting_and_communicating_more/)\n\n[I love this picture!](https://preview.redd.it/r8unatgjibr81.png?width=519&format=png&auto=webp&s=53ab9ab2053f804b5651e394161e01e0d9811d21)\n\nI have also seen how some have wondered why Ryan Cohen didn't just partner with Overstock/ TZero to issue tokenized securities, since they specialize in them.\n\nHowever, the answer is now very obvious. TZero has just hired a new CEO. The man was a top executive at the NYSE and a board member of DTCC. TZero is centralized. Basically, the wolves are taking over the hen house.\n\n**Ryan Cohen and Loopring, as we know, are designed to be completely decentralized.**\n\n**Ryan knows the way, and this is the way.**\n\n# Well it's probably pretty crappy to be short at GME "trading is a tough game don't ya think?"\n\n[Founder of Point72 - Short in GME - after turning off the buy button at the January sneeze](https://preview.redd.it/f4vglba3jbr81.png?width=595&format=png&auto=webp&s=77fab951b1cb9e764ac10258dd568bcf3de7d520)\n\nI'm sure you all remember that video of Ken Griffin from 2008 talking about surviving another day, right?\n\nWhen RC basically told the Dump Stormtroopers with the stock dividend announcement, MOASS is coming this year whether you like it or not.\n\n**If you are in Kenny's or Steve\\`s position, you have two choices now:**\n\n* Do I lose infinite money after the announcement for my infinite risk what I took by closing the short positions\n* Do I lose infinite money later when I am forced to close my short position\n\nIf your goal was to "fight to survive another day", would you give up right away, or would you do a bunch of shady things to push the price below the pain threshold so people don't have to buy in just yet?\n\n**Just remember that they want you to be frustrated, so they make decisions based on emotion, not logic.**\n\n**But With every trade there is a winner and a loser.... Thousands of >\215 are about to become winners. LFG! WAGMI =<U+0080>=<U+0080>=<U+0080>=<U+0080>**\n\n# Name a worse time to be a dumb Stormtrooper, I'll wait...\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/d7tni0lkjbr81.png?width=702&format=png&auto=webp&s=fb1816e6feef0f57425032e616b89462781ed613
## 610 I'm sorry for any spelling / punctuation mistakes, I'm still fuming as I'm typing this. Some family members know my main so I'm using a throwaway. tldr at the end. \n\nI (f26) just came back from the funeral of a family friend. He was only 25 and passed away in an accident yesterday, which involved a truck. As his family and mine are friends due to sharing a cultural background and participating in different cultural events together, a large part of my family was at his funeral. \n\nMy aunt was quietly chatting with some people there, and when she realised me and my mom were there too, she came up to us. They talked for a little while, about how awful the situation was, and how my mom for his parents. \n\nThen my aunt made nasty comments about how "the accident had probably been his fault anyway", "that happens for trying to overtake a truck", and "we should be happy only he died and no one else was killed". There were some more but these were the ones I could remember right now. Keep in mind that 1) the investigation is still in course, we don't know how the accident happened, and 2) HIS PARENTS were like 8 ft away from us, and my aunt wasn't even whispering, she was talking in her normal volume. \n\nMy mom was in shock, my uncle was playing dumb, and I grabbed her hand and tugged her outside of the funeral home and to a more secluded area. There were a lot of people even outside the building. When we were alone I whisper-shouted at her about how indecent and disrespectful she had just been to the family and friends, who were GRIEVING the loss of a loved one, and asked her if she would make the same comments if it was one of my cousins (her children) there in the coffin after a fatal accident, and how would she feel if someone was making those comments and gossipping about her dead child. I told her that I was ashamed of her and I was embarrassed of her being my aunt, and I would deny knowing her if anyone at the funeral asked me, and I went back inside. I think they left because I didn't see her or my uncle anymore. \n\nWhen we left the funeral about an hour later I checked my phone and I was tagged in a FB rant by my aunt who went on a tirade about how I had embarrassed her, was disrespectful to her and I had "called her an evil person in front of everyone". I had tried my best to keep my voice low but there were so many people and I was so agitated that maybe someone heard me. \n\nMy uncle sent me a testament-long text saying I should've waited until another occasion and not aggravate the situation. Many people in her FB post commented variations of the same thing. I'm not sorry about the things I told her, I think she deserved every word. But now I'm wondering if I should waited until after the funeral, or another day to have that discussion.\n\nAITA for putting my aunt in her place at the funeral? Should I have waited? \n\nTldr: aunt made nasty comments about a friend who passed away in an accident in front of his family and I scolded her outside the funeral home.
## 710 ***I am NOT OP, this is a repost. Original post:*** [I found out I had a child when CPS contacted me because her mother was losing custody. Now what? (MD)](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/dpt2ez/i_found_out_i_had_a_child_when_cps_contacted_me/) to r/legaladvice by u/apparentthrowaway79\n\n**Additional Note:** *This story was [first posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ivw5sx/a_man_is_quietly_living_his_own_life_when_out_of/) to BORU by u/Father-Son-HolyToast. I have added some additional context and updates.*\n\nMood Spoiler - >!Guy goes from recovering addict to candidate for the Parenting Hall of Fame in the blink of an eye! !<\n***\n*Original: posted to r/legaladvice by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 31 Oct 2019*\n\n##[I found out I had a child when CPS contacted me because her mother was losing custody. Now what? (MD)](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/dpt2ez/i_found_out_i_had_a_child_when_cps_contacted_me/)\n\nSorry for the shitty title.\n\nTo make a long story short: I was a junkie and as a result did a lot of dumb, questionable things. I have been clean for eleven years now.\n\nAbout a week and a half ago I was contacted by CPS, who asked if I knew (Mary Smith), a woman with whom I had a relationship when I was on drugs. I said yes and was informed that she had a child, (Emma Lastname), who had been taken from the home and I was named as her father. With no other contactable family she could come to me or otherwise go to foster care. It was relayed to me that I was listed as the child's father on her legal documents as well.\n\nTo cut out some bullshit from the middle here, I'll just skip to the fact that I did accept emergency custody of the child and I do actually pretty strongly believe that I'm probably her biological father for a number of reasons but I feel like at this point the case workers have been unhelpful and are basically like for all intents and purposes you're her legal father bye!!! And not answering my questions. ((Emma) apparently knew I existed and was told through her life that I was her father but her mother said she had no way of contacting me, which I guess is technically true).\n\nMy questions:\n\n1) how was I listed on the birth certificate, legal records, school records, etc and literally never informed ever at any point? How is this possible?\n\n2) the case worker said that because I'm on the birth certificate (and the undertone here was "unless you have an identical twin somewhere that is 100% your child") there's no need to take a DNA test. Is there any benefit to doing so?\n\n3) this one I may have to consult with a lawyer on, but if I'm her father, am I then entitled to child support? Or the foster care stipend? That sounds terrible but I don't make a lot of money and I'm stressed because there's times I feel like I'm not sure if I'm going to have enough for myself even working full time, and I need to be able to provide for a kid now too. It's not about the money, but it's a little bit about the money.\n***\n*Additional Context 1: posted to redacted by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 16 Nov 2019*\n\n##How do I (40M) communicate tactfully but firmly to my child's mother (39F) that I don't want to engage with her?\n\n*Link to post removed to avoid breaking external sub rules.*\n\nThe title makes me sound horrible, so I'll try to explain.\n\nI was in a relationship with my child's mother many years ago when we were both regular heavy drug users. I lost contact with her when I decided to get clean and left the state to go to rehab.\n\nFor ten years I never spoke to her or engaged with her in any way and she never made contact with me either. I didn't even know our shared child existed until recently.\n\nSo I've been clean for ten years now, she's continued off and on to use drugs. Most recently (when I got custody of our shared child) she was arrested on drug related charges with our child present. She (our child) would have gone to foster care if I hadn't taken custody of her, and of course I did, even though that was the first time I even knew I had a child.\n\nShe was bonded out and is waiting for her trial and ever since she got out she has been contacting me almost daily. I have no interest in talking to her about anything but our shared child and she's not calling me or texting me to talk about her or even to her. She says she wants to be friends and didn't have a way to contact me before, which is technically true (although realistically, FOR THE SAKE OF OUR KID, she definitely could've put a little extra effort in there). I can't help but feeling that now that she has my contact information, she's going to continue to use it to her advantage even though I'm not in any way planning to get dragged back down into that hole.\n\nI've tried to tell her that if she wants to talk to our daughter she can and I've tried ignoring her and I've tried telling her I just don't want to go down this path with her but I feel like there's got to be some kind of firm, tactful way I can tell her that I dont want to have any kind of relationship with her that I'm just not thinking of. Does anyone have any advice? I just feel like if I get tied up in this shit in any way that isn't just raising this kid it's going to go down badly but I can't seem to get that across to her and I don't want to be hurtful.\n\nTL;DR: ever since I was inadvertently reconnected with my child's mother, who is a drug addict that I had a relationship with when i, too, was a drug addict, she won't leave me alone. How do I get it across that I don't want anything to do with her without being mean or hurtful?\n***\n*Update 1: posted to r/legaladvice by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 4 Jan 2020*\n\n##[(update) nearly 3 months later about the kid I didn't know existed for ten years](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ek0lyl/update_nearly_3_months_later_about_the_kid_i/)\n\n*Link to previous post removed*\n\nIt's been almost 3 months now and I thought I'd come in real quick to give an update.\n\nOverall, the kid and I are doing great. I really expected the adjustment period to suck but I feel like maybe this poor kid really needed some structure and stability and totally glommed onto that. I try to just give her as much of my love, patience, structure and stability that I have to give. I've been learning a lot about attachment, trauma, and everything. It's been overwhelming but every night, no matter how exhausted I am, I get into bed and I thank God for her. I wouldnt trade her for anything in this world. I tell her every night she's my favorite thing.\n\nLegally things are kind of boring. I did the DNA test, unsurprisingly got the result that she's mine biologically. The emergency order is still in place. Had mom is still in jail, she was offered the option of going to rehab and refused. She'll be in jail for at least a few more months, and after she's out we will make a parenting plan for visits with help from the social worker. Realistically i think she'll die before she gets clean. That sounds like a horrible thing to say but it is how it is.\n\nIt's been a wild ride. It's not easy. But it's joyful and it's really changed my life & made me want to be better in a lot of ways.\n***\n*Additional Context 2: commented in r/AskParents by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 24 Jan 2020*\n\n##[Happy Anecdotes of parenting anyone?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskParents/comments/etfgw5/happy_anecdotes_of_parenting_anyone/ffg2o1p/)\n\nI've only been at it for a few months, I didn't meet my child until she was 10, and our situation is complicated on many levels but my only regret is that I didn't know she existed sooner. The actual parenting part is amazing. I honestly love all of it. Even the hard parts.\n\nSome of my favorite mundane things:\n\nShe loves to play Barbies and makes up the best, most elaborate stories with them. We've had murderers on the loose with amateur detectives solving the crime, we've had dramatic soap operas, super hero academy, family sagas, you name it. I'm a 40 year old man who had never picked up a Barbie in his life and I enjoy it immensely. I've never said no when she asks me to play.\n\nEvery Tuesday we go get a slushie and go to the public library. She'd never been read aloud to before she came here so we pick books to read together, play board games, and she plays on their computers.\n\nShe loves to pick the music. She loves kid stuff like Nyan Cat and dumb ways to die and stuff but she also likes stuff i had never heard of like Alan Walker and it's been really fun to learn her music taste. Lately we've been listening to Seagulls (Stop It Now!) from bad lip reading and it's literally always funny. She claims to hate David bowie because his face creeps her out but she always dances when I play him. The other day she said "hey Dad on YouTube I found this really cool band, I bet you never heard of them, it's THE KILLERS!". I pretended I hadn't.\n\nShe loves to remake vines and make "movies". We've done the "there's only one thing worse than a child", "Chris! Is that a weed???", Little Russian Lady and a few others recently. I edit the movies in iMovie and we have premiere nights where we dress up and eat popcorn and watch them on the projector. She's started making them on some program on the computer that makes animated shorts and we have premiere nights for those too.\n\nIt's really hard at times but I've literally never felt more rewarded than I do by parenting.\n\n***\n*Additional Context 3: posted to r/lgbt by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 2 Feb 2020*\n\n##[After being single for a whole decade and deeply suppressing myself for a number of reasons, I met the man of my dreams. Now we're together officially.](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/exj1bd/after_being_single_for_a_whole_decade_and_deeply/)\n\nI'm 40 years old, but I only ever had one real relationship in my life. I was dealing with a lot of things; religious confusion, addiction, mental health...for nearly 11 years I made a choice to work on myself, to find meaning in my life, building a strong foundation of faith, making meaningful platonic connections and generally working to better myself. At times I had thought about finding someone to romantically share my life with, but I was put off on some level I didn't quite understand.\n\nAfter a previously-unknown ten year old daughter came into my life, I felt fulfilled by her but I still did feel like there was a missing piece, although I couldn't figure out what it was that made all the prospects seem like they were lacking something.\n\nI first met my now-boyfriend at our daughters' school. He was the only other single dad coming on a regular basis--he was divorced a few years back and his wife moved states so his kids stayed with him. We started talking and realized our daughters were friends and decided we should be as well.\n\nAfter several months of deep conversations, laughter, and the warmest most genuine connection I've ever felt for a person, all those years of suppression began to make sense and--even when I wasn't sure if anything would happen--I let myself fall in love.\n\nOne anxiety-fuelled conversation a week ago and I learned that my feelings were not unmatched. We saw no reason to hesitate in making it official. Our daughters are already convinced they are living out the preteen movie stepsister life of their dreams ( :) ) and it makes me as happy as the fact that I feel finally able to live my authentic life does.\n\nIf I've learned anything this year, I would say that it's that the second I shut my anxious brain off and let things happen, all the good things happen.\n***\n*Additional Context 4: posted to r/daddit by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 3 Mar 2020*\n\n##[The burnout is really real](https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/fcr2mx/the_burnout_is_really_real/)\n\nAlthough my kid is going on eleven I only really became a dad a little less than six months ago so I guess it's normal to feel this way, it's just that it carries a hefty amount of guilt when your child is as old as mine is rather than an infant. I am for the most part completely solo parenting. I have a boyfriend but he has 3 girls of his own and we don't live together (although honestly things are so much easier when were together because the kids are basically self-entertaining at that point). This winter has been a hellscape because she's been sick frequently and today she stayed home from school for what feels like the zillionth day because she had a random fever and after hour 7 of tik tok dances and art projects abandoned halfway through and toys all over the floors I just feel like I can't do it anymore. I miss being able to do whatever and go wherever and having money to go and do whatever. I had spent the past ten years of my life pretty solitary and focusing on being the best person I can be and for the most part I think of that as dad training but sometimes I'm so exhausted I can't help but feel depressed that I won't have that experience again.\n\nI love my kid and would never trade her for anything but the burnout is really real lately.\n***\n*Update 2: posted to r/legaladvice by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 2 Apr 2020*\n\n##[An (update) I hoped I'd never have to post--my daughters mother has passed.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ftn1cl/an_update_i_hoped_id_never_have_to_postmy/)\n\n*Link to previous post removed*\n\nI got a call this morning telling me that my daughter's mother had passed away; no other details at this time, most likely an overdose.\n\nI've recognized it as an inevitability, but I also hoped for a miracle for our girl's sake if not her own. You always cheer for people you loved at one point and especially so in this case.\n\nIt's mixed relief and deep sadness. Legally there are going to be some things down the line here that will fall to me to deal with on behalf of our kid and I'm sure it'll come with questions I'll rely on you for.\n\nOur girl doesn't know yet; I let her sleep in this morning and she's still asleep. I don't know how I'm going to tell her and that's the part that gets me. She's going through some stuff of her own right now and this was the last thing I wanted for her.\n***\n*Final Update: posted to r/daddit by u/apparentthrowaway79 on 1 Nov 2020*\n\n##[I can't believe I've been dad-ing for a year](https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/jlzmur/i_cant_believe_ive_been_dading_for_a_year/)\n\nthings are wildly different than they were a year ago and 2020 alone feels like a decade =\002 but my 11 year old and I just celebrated one year together. I didn't know she existed until this time last year and she truly is the best thing that ever happened to me.\n\nI don't feel comfortable (and neither does she) sharing her face online, but I wanted to tell everyone what a great kid she is and celebrate our milestone year together. tomorrow we're having a special dinner, along with my fiancé (who I wouldn't have met if it wasn't for her) and his 3 girls) and a cake and presents to celebrate. In many ways this has been a hard year, not just with Covid, but it's also been a really happy year.\n\nAt 40, when I met her, I had spent 10 years building a life focused on self improvement, on "betterment", but there was always something missing. I was ten years clean from heroin but in some ways I think I was still punishing myself. I would not have told anyone who asked that I was unhappy because I didn't think that I was. But as Christine McVie so eloquently put it, my life was rearranged with the presence of her, and her existence changed everything. Without her I never would have met my amazing fiancé (our girls literally frigging matchmade us), but moreover I would never have realized that what was missing was this incredible, hilarious, spicy, cat-loving child. we've definitely had our share of wild highs and lows but honestly every single day has been so much better for her. she changed my life and I'm so glad she's in it.\n\nI can't make up for not knowing her for the first ten years of her life. but I can make the rest of it as amazing as this year has been.\n***\n*I am NOT the original poster. This is a repost sub. These are the highlights of OOP's journey with his daughter, but his profile is filled with more stories that are truly heartwarming.*
## 810 I(17, F) don't know how to sum it up as it's a little everywhere and I almost failed my English.\n\n\nBackground: My mother(48, F) is a nurse. She has been busier with work ever since I shown her I was capable of looking after myself, and even more so after 2020. I barely see her even though we live in the same house.\n\n\nPast incident: 3 years ago ago I broke my front tooth and went to her hospital with a bleeding mouth. I texted and asked to see her but she responded that since I am capable of going to the hospital on my own, to just go home after fixing my tooth. I threw a temper in the hospital on the spot which ended up with a huge fight between us later. I blamed her for prioritizing her job over me and she blamed me for embarrassing her in front of her coworkers.\n\n\nCurrent incident: I am graduating soon will be able to choose what I want to do. My mother had never bothered with my choices before but suddenly today she decides to sit me down and ask me to follow her steps. She talked about the benefits, the government funded education systems and stuff, basically very proud of her job as a nurse. I remembered my broken(now fixed) tooth and told her that while she can be proud of herself, I am not proud of her, never had been.\n\n\nShe got very upset and we argued back and forth, until I just got up and left to my aunt's place. I told my aunt about our argument and she said I was being too harsh on my mother. Soon after my father(no legal rights over me) called too and asked me to go home and apologise to my mother for being hurtful to somebody dedicated to saving lives. I blew him off too asking if she's so wonderful why did he left? I told my friends about this too and some of them agree with my aunt and father that my mother doesn't deserve this. I have an answer in mind already, but I still want to ask AITA?\n\n\n I know she is everyone's hero, just not mine.
## 910 (I am not OOP. Originally posted in antiwork.)\n\nI spent the next 2 hours shutting down my station, and packing my stuff. Even destroyed my client list ( mine was the largest in the branch).\n\n\nWhen I got home about 3 hours later, he called me..\n\n\nBoss- " Hey Z! Where are you at? I Can't find you in the office."\n\n\nMe-" you fired me. Why the hell would I be at work?"\n\n\nBoss-" it's April fools! It was a joke! Get back In here."\n\n\nMe-" no. You clearly said I am fired. I'll be taking unemployment for a few months, and filing a complaint with HR."\n\n\nHe lost his shit, and I just hung up on him. It's not fucking funny, and I'm taking a vacation/riding the wrongful termination train. He has called me 10 times, and I think HR is calling me now.\n\n\nEdit: I'm already getting DMs calling me a lazy parasite. Love it.\n\n\nEdit 2: I kept my physical copy of the client list and destroyed the digital on-site copy.\n\n\nEdit 3: RIP my DMs. This post exploded in the hour it has existed. I'm trying to reply to people.\n\n\nEdit 4: Jeeze, thousands of replies and hundreds of DMs. I'm gonna fall asleep soon. I have a remote meeting with HR tomorrow, and I'll also be talking with a few other people in the company too. I'll post an update soon. Stay safe.\n\n\nEdit 5: (12:27 central/13:27 eastern) I'll make an update in about 4 hours, apparently a chunk of my coleagues walked out after he yelled at a few of then last night. Boss has been put on leave. He also sent me no less than 72 messages via text, and 13 voice mails. All of which I'm too lazy to look at atm. HR/another department lead have been talking with me since 7:30am. Update soon.\n\n\nHi there all. I'm finally able to update the post from yesterday. \n\n\nHere is the post for reference if you didn't see it. \n\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/tu1f9v/my_boss_told_me_i_was_fired_as_soon_as_i_got_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share\n\n\nAlright, so after cooling off, talking with HR, some other team leads and a lawyer, for several hours last night and today...\n\n\nIt looks like Micheal is losing his position in the company, and has been put on leave. He's being replaced by somebody from my team, the other people he ran off are coming back and getting a raise for staying.\n\n\nI am being shuffled to another team, getting a 5.15 dollar raise, 4 bonus weeks of vacation (starting yesterday. I need a break, going to use them all right now, since the company is already doing some rearranging and such.). \n\n\nThe team I am getting I will also be secondary lead on, and is a team I've been trying to get onto for 3 years ( much better bonuses and clientel.) So I get a promotion and a raise. The new boss is far less of a hassle, and she is a lot more laid back. She went to great effort to get me to join the team she knew I wanted onto today and yesterday, and gave me a lot more than I wanted. \n\n\nMichael looks like he's fired from what I can tell, he has a history of issues, but he got his severance from what I heard. \n\n\nMy coworkers from the previous team look to have collectively complained, and used it as leverage for raises. I think they will get em too.\n\n\nIts weird how fast this all turned around, but I think I'll be in a better place for it financially. Some of the advice I got from here helped a bit, and I wanted y'all to know that. I'll drop a few updates, I'm still doing some coordinating and stuff atm. Looks like I'll be taking my old client list with me, and merging it with a starter client list they want to give me when I move into the new seat.\n\n\nEdit: I also got a performance/goals bonus I was supposedly supposed to get in February, not sure what happened there.
## 101 *I am not OP*\n\n[**Original Post - 22 Febrary 2022**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/sysovv/comment/hy0lduo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)\n\ntl;dr at the bottom as this is a bit longer than I expected it to be\n\nAs the title says, my girlfriend and fiancé of 2.5 years recently got breast enhancement surgery. She'd been saying she wanted to do it ever since we first began dating and while I expressed to her I didn't think it was necessary (I loved the way she looked before) I always said I would support whatever decision she made because it is her body and she's the one who has to live in it.\n\nAbout a year ago her mother died after a long battle with cancer in which she actually went into remission after a double mastectomy but then the cancer eventually came back and metastasized to her pancreas. It was a horribly painful and unpleasant experience for everyone in her family. I had met my girlfriend after her mom went into remission and after the surgery, so I wasn't there with her for the first battle which from what I've heard was very traumatic and painful in its own way.\n\nWhen her mother passed she inherited a fairly large sum of money (nothing crazy but enough to put a down payment on a house and finally pay for the surgery she wanted). When she told me she had made the appointment to meet with a plastic surgeon I was supportive but again reinforced that I loved the way she looked now and suggested that maybe her desire to do this now was connected to her grief with her mother passing. She pretty much dismissed that notion since she said she'd wanted to get implants since she was in high school before her mom ever had cancer or the mastectomy. Fair enough.\n\nFast forward about 6 months ago to the surgery and it goes off without a hitch. Because she was recovering for about a month or so I didn't really see the finished product right away and then when I did they were much bigger than I had expected. She told me that there was still swelling and that would go down and it would look more natural. And the swelling did go down but they've never really looked natural to me. Maybe because I was just so accustomed to the way they looked before the surgery that I am having trouble seeing them any other way.\n\nFor the past few months, our sex life was been okay but it definitely has dwindled a bit. We couldn't really have sex while she was recovering and after she was feeling up to we overcompensated a bit by having lots of sex but it was still before I had an idea what they looked like since when we had sex she would still be in a sports bra and/or baggy t shirt that stayed on during. And I was very cautious not to grab at them or anything since there were still tender for so long after. Eventually she completely recovered and immediately I wasn't thrilled but I lied and said I thought they looked great.\n\nThing is I don't hate them or anything. The part where I started losing attraction to her has been that since she got the surgery she gets a lot more attention from random strangers. Which I've never minded. She got attention from strangers in the past too. She's a beautiful woman now and before. But since the surgery she seems so much more receptive to the attention that it's just become a total turn off for me. I didn't initially bring it up because I thought maybe I was just being paranoid and even if I wasn't it would likely be regarded that way and dismissed either way. But eventually I started to make little comments here and there when she would flirt back with the delivery guy or whatever. Nothing terrible but like "not sure he needs a tip after all" or something. She got annoyed and eventually I did bring up my discomfort and she did what I assumed she would which was accusing me of being paranoid and reading into things and saying that what I thought was happening was not.\n\nAnd then a couple of weeks ago I found out that while out with her girlfriends she was convinced to enter a wet t shirt contest. A friend of mine happened to the be at the bar they were at and just sent me a text telling me how great my girlfriend's tits looked (he was joking and later said he framed it that way because he was uncomfortable letting me know but knew he needed to let me know in case I wasn't aware). When I confronted her about it she didn't understand why I was upset, which is just symptomatic of this entire personality change she seems to have undergone since the procedure. I tried to explain that if she had told me that was happening I probably would have been fine but the secrecy and just her general dismissiveness of my concerns and enjoying the extra attention was hurtful. She seemed to think that because she won the wet t shirt contest I should just be okay with it and that I am lucky to have her.\n\nThis simply isn't the person I fell in love with. I know I might be overreacting a bit but I didn't love how the surgery turned out to begin with and now this entire personality shift has been jarring enough to make me lose interest in being intimate with her at all. For the past two weeks we've only had sex 2 times and I've even had to reject her advances. I tried to be as nice as possible but when I tell her I am not in the mood now she gets very angry and frustrated and kind of throws mini tantrums (also very new) like she thinks she's doing me a favor by even wanting to have sex with me and I am now somehow ungrateful. I've had some of my friends(male and female alike) mimic this kind of sentiment when I've tried to discuss it hence bringing it to reddit.\n\nI believe the person I fell in love with is still in there somewhere. But I might just be kidding myself. I am at the point where I want to suggest couples counseling but the one time I remotely touched on the subject she was not receptive to the idea. I don't know what else to do, though. She's like a completely different person now. And I don't know that I like that person very much.\n\ntl;dr gf got breast implants and her entire personality changed starting around the same time and I no longer feel attracted to her in the way I was before the surgery\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[**Update - 06 April 2022**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/txr5rz/updatemy32m_fianc%C3%A929f_got_breast_enhancement/)\n\nFirst, I want to thank everyone for their helpful and reassuring insight. After the post I will still uncertain as to what to do. I didn't want to spring anything on her as I felt from her perspective it might seem like my frustrations and concerns were coming out of nowhere unless she first provoked something and I didn't want to bring up the past after as much time had already gone by because it felt petty of me to do so.\n\nI guess what I didn't realize at the time is I had become pretty distant and terse with her. Which she brought up pretty quickly as well as the fact that I was no longer initiating sex with her and completely unreceptive to any advances she made.\n\nI told her flat out that I felt her personality had completely changed and I was having a lot of second thoughts about the relationship. She got very upset and asked me why I'd not mentioned anything. I told her that I had tried to multiple times and she was completely dismissive of it and accusing me of being jealous or paranoid. I asked her when have I ever been either of those things throughout our relationship and she had to admit that I have never been a jealous or paranoid person in the past.\n\nWhile she admitted that she still said that she felt her personality was still the same and that while she may not know the reason for my perception, it was still wrong. She apologized for accusing me of being jealous but said I'm wrong. It was weird because it felt like it suddenly got turned on me and that it was somehow all on me. I was pretty stunned and felt like again she was being dismissive of my point of view. She said she didn't know what else to say.\n\nWe agreed to put a pin in it for the night as I was kind of speechless and talking to her felt a bit like talking to a wall anyhow. That night she tried to initiate again and I said no and kind of snapped at her. I was quite flummoxed and said something to the effect "wow, you didn't hear a fucking word I said tonight did you?" and apparently that broke her. She became so aggressive and hostile in a way I had never experienced before. She was hysterical. Screaming, thrashing, throwing the pillows and bedding around wildly. Knocked over a lamp that broke and that didn't slow her down. Then she started pushing me telling me to get the fuck out and that she never wanted to see me again. At first I was resistant pleading with her to calm down but she was just getting more and more aggressive so I just grabbed my wallet and keys and ran out to me car in my socks and boxers. I could still hear her slamming doors from inside of my car outside of our house. Her house.\n\nI just drove around all night thinking. I was shaking. I was genuinely scared. I was angry. I think I was in shock. I didn't have my phone so I couldn't call a friend or my parents to go to their house and I didn't want to show up in the middle of the night under these circumstances anyway. I just drove around all night and didn't sleep. I waited until about 8AM to go back to the house, which was around when she would leave to work but her car was still there so I drove and got breakfast and coffee at a drive thru and when I came back an hour later she had eventually left. BY this point I am feeling pretty calm.\n\nI go inside to grab some f my things and the entire livingroom is just a mess. Chairs tipped over, the coffee table completely shifted out of place, a plant ripped from a pot with dirt everywhere. You can tell she tried to clean it up a little but didn't get very far. I went to our bedroom where my phone and clothes were and in the middle of the hallway on the way to the bedroom was a pile of all my things including my phone which had a broken screen. Fortunately, it was still functioning so I called into work and spent the next 4-5 hours packing up a bunch of my stuff and loading it into my car.\n\nI also called a friend of mine and drove over to his house. He said I could crash with him for a bit while I figure out what to do next. Later that day I sent her text saying we should talk and she responded there was nothing to talk about and that she thinks it would be better for both of us if I find somewhere else to stay for the time being. I explained that I already had done so and was staying with my friend and then she went radio silent. She didn't respond to that or any follow up texts I sent. About week after all of this she sent me a text that simply said I need to figure out a time to come and pick up the rest of my things. I asked if she would be there so we could talk and she said she had nothing to say to me and I should come get the rest of my things when she isn't there. So, I tried calling her and she didn't answer. I sent her a text asking her if she was just done with us then and she said "yes I thought I made that clear." Which maybe she did. I thought it was just an episode and we would at least talk.\n\nLater that week I went picked up the rest of my things and sent a text saying I left my keys on the counter. She said she was getting the locks changed anyway.\n\nI've known this woman for nearly 3 years and all of this along the way is new. She was always communicative and rarely hostile. She might pout or be passive aggressive but this felt like a full blown tantrum. She was seething like a feral animal or something. She was completely unapologetic and calculatingly cold in a way she'd never been before.\n\nA few weeks later after moving into my own apartment I found out that she was already seeing someone new. I don't know if she started seeing him while we were together. It wouldn't shock me. At some point in the last year she stopped respecting me. And when I think back there were probably signs before the surgery. Maybe even wanting to get the surgery. I don't know. The whole thing feels like such a blur. I think I may have been in denial for a while. Maybe I am just telling myself that now to feel better about it.\n\nI have not heard from her in weeks and I have not tried to contact her on my end either. I did receive a missed call from her in the middle of the night about a week ago but there was no message or text and I didn't bother following up to see what she wanted. I'm not ready to speak with her again. I don't know when or if I'll ever be. The last couple of weeks with her and after the big blow up were the worst days of my life. I've never felt so meaningless or disregarded. And she was the person who I trusted most in the world. At one point.\n\nAnyway, sorry this isn't a more positive update but a few people had asked. I would have posted it sooner but it's taken me a while to be comfortable talking about what happened. I still get upset thinking about it. I am hoping writing it out would help but honestly I am just sad and upset again right now. Fortunately, I have my whole life ahead of me and I am fortunate in that I still have plenty going for me. I definitely feel more cynical now than I did before. Which sucks. Hoping that passes.
## 111 A few weeks ago I finished a semester at school and one of my teachers is a man who continuously takes up class time to talk about his personal life. Not too bad, but whatever. I just find ways to distract myself when he\031s not covering actual material. \n\nSaturday evening he texted me my final exam grades and then went on a rant about how I never paid attention to him so he\031s not sure how I got good grades. I responded politely and he kept going. Weird, but I just didn\031t respond and was going to let it go. \n\nThen he texts at 11pm and reiterates his points with my overall grade. And it just seemed so disjointed and weird. I ignored it again, but Sunday one of my classmates called me almost in tears because he texted her grades and mean comments about how she shouldn\031t even have passed and basically calling her dumb. \n\nIt\031s just so different from the way he presented himself all through class. We have an appointment with the director of education today because at best this is wildly inappropriate, but it actually seems more malicious to me. \n\nI know I\031m not the one in the wrong here, but my tummy feels like it\031s in knots just anticipating the meeting. But I\031m also proud of myself for standing up for us. Wish me luck >\036<û\n\nEdit because I\031m not sure if it was clear: I\031m not in high school, I\031m almost 30\n\nEdit: at the very beginning of class he wrote his number on the chalkboard and told us to text him if we were going to be late/absent/etc. I texted him months ago to let him know I would be late and he has never texted me until this weekend.\n\nUpdate: so we had the meeting. It\031s not like I expected her to say \034thank you for telling us, he\031s fired!\035 And I\031m not really sure WHAT I expected. So we can in and she said she had printed the conversations and wanted our opinions on them. I said that mine felt kind of backhanded and how I was uncomfortable receiving repeated texts especially so late. The other girl (J) said she was hurt and explained how a lot of the thing he said regarding attendance and asking for help were flat out lies and we both said this seemed out of character and out of left field. \n\nThe director (N) first started with a bit of excuses for him, \034I get texts late at night from him and other teachers all the time\035 \034I don\031t think he meant anything wrong by it\035 and after some pressing she agreed that he was inappropriate and especially should have never said \034I don\031t want you taking care of me or my family\035 to J and that it is inexcusable. She assured us that she will be talking to him about the proper way to conduct himself with students in the future and will tell him to limit his communication with them without going through her. She also let us know that we would never have him as an instructor again. \n\nThen she asked if this was our only complaint, and we said no. He is great at communicating the material, but we only get about that about half the time and the other half is him talking about his fiancé or his dog, or whatever else he happens to think of. And that more often than not, once he saw her car drive out of the parking lot (usually an hour or two before our class is meant to end) he would let us go. She didn\031t seem SURPRISED by this, but did seem upset. So maybe this is something he\031s gotten in trouble for before. \n\nSo bottom line, she\031s going to talk to him I guess. She did say she would follow up with us and she was glad we came to her and that she\031s taking it seriously. So not quite what everyone was hoping for, but I did walk away feeling a little better and knowing that even if there isn\031t severe consequences, something has been said and N can be on the lookout for any more inappropriate behavior. Plus maybe the next class he teaching will get more actual teaching time. \n\nThank you so much to everyone for your support and encouragement.
## 121 **The post title should say engagement not wedding. The wedding has not happened yet.**\n\n*I am NOT OP, this is a repost. Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/szpzq3/aita_for_upstaging_the_bride_and_refusing_to/) by u/StrictlyUnknown*\n\nI've also reached out to u/StrictlyUnknown and have gotten her permission to post it here. Say hi to her if she shows up but please don't brigade her previous posts.\n\n---------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n**AITA for upstaging the bride and refusing to change my dress.**\n\n[link] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/szpzq3/aita_for_upstaging_the_bride_and_refusing_to/)\n\n*Original post made about a month ago, update link removed from the top*\n\nEnglish is not my first language. Throwaway account.\n\nSo my (27f) cousin (29f) is soon getting married. The thing is, our families have been in no contact for the last 10-12 years because of some issues between our fathers( in total, 4 brothers who hated each other). The feud recently came to an end because all the kids are grown up now and we kind of want to keep our differences aside, and enjoy the upcoming events. We all had a little reunion.\n\nThis issue started with my cousins engagement party. Now I want to highlight that I take good care of myself. I do yoga and dance to stay fit. On some special occasions, I love to dress up a lot. It makes me feel good and confident. My cousin is a doctor and, due to her schedule, she has put on some weight, but I respect her because her profession is tougher than mine. I am an engineer.\n\nFor her engagement, I wore a nice beautiful peach coloured gown. It wasn't a new one, this was a 3-year-old gift from someone. We are Indians and brides generally prefer to wear lehengas or saares.\n\nEven though we have reconciled as a family, my sister never involved me with her planning or anything related to her wedding and I was totally okay with that.\n\nWhen me and my mother arrived at the location of the event, all was good but the bride was late, people from the groom's side welcomed us nicely and I was feeling great.\n\nMy cousin was almost 2 hours late but when she arrived( with her two "besties") I could feel the tension between us rising high. To my horror, she was wearing a peach coloured gown exactly like mine but it was more glittery. Only the bottom part of our dress was slightly different. She went on without acknowledging my existence.\n\nMy mom noticed me but told me to relax as it was an accident and to enjoy myself. She went ahead to help my aunty with further preparations. I took a seat in the corner with my other cousin. When I was talking to him, one of the brides' "bestie" came to talk. I thought she was there to invite me to join them but she straight up told me to change my dress.\n\nI was speechless. I told her no because 1. There was nothing else to wear and 2. My house was several kms away and it would take me almost 2 hours to do so. She started suggesting different options for buying a new dress or she could lend me some clothes. I firmly told her no. My mom and dad were unaware of all this. She kept arguing with me but gave up. When the ceremony started my cousin was looking fine and smiled at me because, in the end, she was getting engaged to the love of her life. We both got lots of compliments and I thought the drama was over. But her friends kept giving me side eyes throughout the event and today one of them tried to contact me on instagram.\n\nThe most hurtful thing was the fact that there was an after party thrown by the bride and groom for all the cousins and their special friends, but I wasn't invited.\n\nI kind of feel like an AH. But I need an honest opinion.\n\n> INFO\n\n> Did your dress match the formality of the event? Were other women in gowns and men in suits or tuxes?\n\n>> [OP] There was no perticular dress code for the event. Anyone could wear anything.\n\n*Subreddit judgement: NTA*\n\n---------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n**UPDATE AITA for upstaging the bride and refusing to change my dress.**\n\n[link to update] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tpj9ct/update_aita_for_upstaging_the_bride_and_refusing/)\n\n*Update posted ~8 days ago*\n\nWell, a lot has happened since I made the post here. First I want to thank you all for giving an honest opinion. One thing that I noticed, all the Indians who commented on my post told me that I am NTA.\n\nLet me clear out a few things. I don't hate my cousin(the bride), I am not petty or mean and this dress incident was totally unintentional.\n\nHer friend said that I was upstaging the bride, which was not the case.\n\nDuring the ceremony I tried to keep a low profile even though it wasn't my fault.\n\nI compared our looks and weight because it had been literally a competition between us since childhood to look better than each other, which was really childish and created more issues in our family. And I thought her friends were mean to me because of our previous issues.\n\nSo for an update...\n\nA few days ago, my aunt( Bride's mom) called my mom. They were having this general discussion about further planning for the wedding. Then my aunt told my mom that I would be besides the bride on stage during the wedding. It was a shock for me because it's like getting a maid of honour position. I quickly texted my cousin to thank her and we talked for the first time after her engagement. We decided to meet up for a coffee.\n\nAt the coffee shop, I brought up the topic of our matching dress and she told me she was shocked at first but later totally forgot about it. I also asked her why she was choosing me over her friends to be on stage. She gave a few reasons why they are not punctual and irresponsible and can be very demanding sometimes and I am literally her family.\n\nAs I mentioned, she was actually looking very happy during her engagement. She also told me that she was a bit disappointed that I wasn't there at the after-party and her soon to be husband was also asking for me.\n\nFrom her talk, one thing I know is that she is not aware about her friends being mean to me and lying about me. Cousin and I are on good terms, at the end we ate some delicious burgers and had fun and I also showed her my dress which I will be wearing at her wedding(Super glittery light green colour lehanga).\n\nI am still unsure if I should tell her about her "bestie" or just let it go. I just want to enjoy the wedding without any further drama.\n\nEdit - [My Lehanga for the wedding](https://imgur.com/a/SW5OVfU). The upper part(Choli) is yet to be customised.\n\n>> [OP's response to a comment telling her she should've changed anyways]\n\n>> Hello, I don't know who hurt you today, but let me tell you this, in Indian weddings we treat our guests with the utmost respect. As I said, it was unfortunate that our dresses were mostly similar. It was downright crazy for her friend to ask me to change. We don't do this here at all. It would have created even bigger drama if they had seen me in a different dress. As a bride, we also cannot demand a guest to change. Literally not our culture at all. No one, not even one family member, had any problem with the dress except her friend. And the last time IT WAS AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY. The wedding is next month. The bride and I are seriously on good terms. Hell, she has asked me to prepare a special dance for the musical night, and as for her friends, I dont care what they think about me, I have my family and cousins by my side.\n\n------------------------------------------\n\nUsing the "CONCLUDED" flair even though the actual wedding hasn't happened due to this comment posted by OP:\n\n>I love this update. Sounds like both you and the cousin are gracious people determined to take the high road and not get mired down with people who want to create petty drama. I'm happy you're both happy.\n\n>> [OP] Thank you. It was tough not to tell her but I think this issue should end here.\n\n*I am not the original poster. This is a repost sub.*
## 131 ***I am NOT OP, this is a repost. Original post:*** [MI - My brother (33M) needs a new guardian, I want it, my mother (61F) is fighting me](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8ww6wr/mi_my_brother_33m_needs_a_new_guardian_i_want_it/) to r/legaladvice by u/deakers\n\nMood Spoiler - >!Happy ending! !<\n***\n*Original: posted to r/legaladvice by u/deakers on 7 Jul 2018*\n\n##[MI - My brother (33M) needs a new guardian, I want it, my mother (61F) is fighting me](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8ww6wr/mi_my_brother_33m_needs_a_new_guardian_i_want_it/)\n\nMy brother, John (names changed), is autistic and about as dependent as a 4 year old. Since he was 18, he's had a court-appointed 3rd party guardian, and my parents (who are divorced) are secondary guardians, my mother is John's caregiver.\n\nA couple weeks ago, my dad (63M) sent me a text that John's guardian was moving to Indiana and could no longer act as my brother's guardian, and that my mother had asked my father about getting John another 3rd party guardian.\n\nI have known since I was 8 that I wanted to be responsible for my brother (I'm 28 now), and I've been waiting for this to happen, in fact, I'd planned on petitioning the court within this next year for guardianship.\n\nMy father wants me to be John's guardian, I want to be the guardian. I know what John wants/needs, and I have a personal, invested interest and concern in seeing his wants/needs met. Additionally, I work for a company that provides services to people with developmental disabilities (primarily residential programs, mainly for person's with autism. I work in an outpatient program, not a residence). Because of my job, I'm incredibly familiar with Community Mental Health, I'm certified by the Office of Recipient Rights, I've had the Meds training, the HIPPA training, even CPR/AED. I also have access to an incredible amount of information regarding new autism research and treatment options. I could also get him placed in one of the homes through my company.\n\nMy mother does not like this idea. She claims one of John's doctor's says I live too far away to be guardian to be at his appointments (I live 2 hours away, but his current guardian NEVER goes to doctor's appointments, and goes to AZ every winter). She understands she cannot be John's caregiver forever. She seems to think that she should be primary guardian (which would NOT be a good idea in the slightest) and is fighting for a third party. She knows I have John's best interest at heart, but outright asked "do you care for my best interest?" (It's not about her!!)\n\nMy dad's going to court next week to talk to the judge about petitioning, he's going to say he wants me to be guardian.\n\nAdvice on what I should do to prepare? Reading on guardian duties? (Like, can I change his payee, do I have to be at all doctor's appointments). Anything you guys can offer would be great.\n***\n*Update: posted to r/legaladvice by u/deakers on 29 Aug 2018*\n\n##[UPDATE - MI - My brother (33M) needs a new guardian, I want it, my mother (61F) is fighting me](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9b4z8d/update_mi_my_brother_33m_needs_a_new_guardian_i/)\n\n*Link to previous post removed*\n\nI'm so happy I can finally post an update on this! A week after my original post, my dad filed a petition for a change of guardianship. It took about a week after filing to set a court date, and court was yesterday (8/27).\n\n\v\n\nThe court had appointed John an attorney and Guardian Ad Litem (which I admittedly had to look up what that meant) before the hearing. I talked with this attorney about a week before the hearing, he asked me a few questions in regards to why I wanted to be guardian, how I felt about the responsibility, if I was comfortable being put in the middle of conflict between my parents, that kind of thing. I told him I had no problems being between my parents, I've been in the middle of them before, and that this is something I've wanted since I was 8, and that I have several certifications/credentials that make me a good choice.\n\n\v\n\nI still had some anxiety because of my mother, I had a feeling that she was going to try to bring up some of my past (mainly try to use the Domestic Violence I survived against me somehow). My partner did a great job giving me pep talks, helping me organize, prepare the outfit I was going to wear to court, and helping me prepare what I was going to say to the judge.\n\n\v\n\nSo, yesterday. Got to the courthouse with my dad and partner. My mother was there with my brother and some woman I'd never seen before. My mother introduced me to her as a friend of hers, and didn't talk about why this woman was there. My mom was cordial before the hearing, we talked about a separate family matter, and she didn't let on about anything that was about to happen in that courtroom.\n\n\v\n\nOur docket was called, we filed into the courtroom, the judge came in, standard stuff. My dad got sworn in, made his statement about why he wanted to remove John's previous guardian and appoint me. The judge seemed pleased asked if anyone objected, which is where my mother spoke up. The judge rolled his eyes, begrudgingly swore her in, and allowed her to make a statement. I should have expected this, I don't know why I was surprised... Her statement was "I don't think she's ready. John has a rare disease, and she's not qualified. She doesn't know what it's like to do this job. While she's had her current job for a little over a year now, she's changed jobs a lot before then and moved a lot, her life has been really unstable, she doesn't have her life together." She then went on to suggest the random woman she brought to court with her as an alternate. "This is a personal friend of mine. I asked 5 other people, they all said 'no,' then I asked her, and she said 'yes.' She actually acknowledges John, most people don't. John knows her, he likes her. I think she would be a better option as a third party guardian instead."\n\n\v\n\nThe judge didn't even acknowledge the woman my mother mentioned, and he didn't even bother giving the "she doesn't have her life together" statement the time of day. While my mother had been talking, I had pulled out my certificates and credentials and was organizing them at the table, and the judge had noticed my preparedness. When my mother stopped talking,. the judge turned to me, asked me if I had a statement (he expected my response), and swore me in. I told the judge this was something I have wanted for 20 years, listed off my certifications and credentials, mentioned the support I have through work, my relationship with CMH, and my experience with persons with Autism. I also stated that I have no issues whatsoever with being in the middle of my parents, that I've done it before, and I'll gladly do it again. I love my parents, and while it's not pleasant being in the middle, it's not about them, it's not about me, it's about what's best for my brother. The judge seemed pleased by this and awarded me guardianship!\n\n\v\n\nAfter the gavel came down, I began walking out of the courtroom, John was walking out with me. My mother grabbed onto John and held him in the courtroom to talk to the woman she brought with her. I said "mom, they called the next case, we have to leave," to which she replied "I know" and continued chatting with her friend. The judge was still in the courtroom, he saw it. I didn't take the bait and left the courtroom. In the hall, I was talking to John's attorney. My mother eventually came out with John, I went to give him a kiss,she kept pulling him away, and she asked me "are you mad" to which I simply said "yes," gave John a kiss, and went to go get my paperwork. The woman my mother brought with her pulled me aside, and from the way she spoke to me, she had NO IDEA how qualified I actually I am for this, but she said "I think you'll be a great guardian."\n\n\v\n\nSo, I've finally achieved something I've wanted for a very long time. My mother's already told the family that I'm not speaking to her (which is ridiculous), so that war will be starting soon. But, it's worth it. I'm so happy!!! Thanks for all the advice!!!!\n\n\v\n\nTL;DR - I got guardianship of my brother, started a war with my mother. Win some, lose some.\n***\n*BONUS Story: posted to r/raisedbynarcissists by u/deakers on 1 Mar 2019*\n\n##[I'm getting my brother his first State ID](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/awa680/im_getting_my_brother_his_first_state_id/)\n\nNot sure if this is the right place, but it's a victory I wanted to share :)\n\n\v\n\n6 months ago, I became my brother's Legal Guardian (I posted about it on r/legaladvice , *links to previous posts removed*). My nmother has John's primary caregiver since he turned 18, although my father will take John every other weekend. My nmom did a good job for a long time, but as she's aged, the quality of care she's provided has gone downhill. I often times wonder if she doesn't have Munchhausen's By Proxy, because my brother somehow always has some random medical issue or another, and she's the only one that sees symptoms. She also has a bad habit of trying to diagnose ME with this, that, and the other thing. It's one of the main reasons why I'm taking steps to have my brother removed from her care.\n\n\v\n\nHowever, as far as today goes, as long as she's been John's caregiver, he's never had any kind of State ID. Ever. She always claimed that in order to get him one, John had to receive official mail, meaning Bills, in his name, which he doesn't. After gaining guardianship, I asked her about getting him a State ID again, and again, nmom gave me this same excuse, that there was no way to do so because John doesn't have all of the documents necessary in order to obtain one. This was hinkey to me.\n\n\v\n\nI work for an organization that provides services to adults and children with developmental disabilities, mainly residential, but some outpatient. But after some asking around, I learned ALL of the residents have State ID's. So, how is it possible they have one if they have the same issues John does in that there are no bills in their name? Hmm...\n\n\v\n\nToday I went with my partner to the Secretary of State's office. My partner had to get tags for his car, so I figured I'd ask about it while I was there. Two birds with one stone, right? I got there, and I explained to the gentleman there that my brother is a lifelong dependent, non-verbal, and that I'm his guardian, and that I wanted to get him his State ID, and that I needed to know what all I'd need to do to get that. He smiled, handed me a sheet of paper, said "oh, that's easy! He just needs his social security card, his birth certificate, school records, and 2 pieces of mail that aren't hand-written." I asked if the age of the records matter, they don't. I asked if the mail had to be a bill, it doesn't, it could be something ordered off an online shopping website and sent to him, as long as it's typed and addressed to him. Then I asked if this was a recent change. he said "nope, this has always been the policy so that State IDs are always accessible to all residents."\n\n\v\n\nI'm thrilled that I can get this information together for my brother so that he'll have official identification. I'm a little mad that my mother didn't bother to get it done sooner, but, it was a further means of control, so I'm not surprised. When I called to tell her what I was doing, I didn't even bother calling her on her lie, I just said "they changed their system, so look out for these things in the mail" and she took the bait.\n\n\v\n\nJohn needs this ID, and I know he's been wanting it, and I'm so happy I can help get it for him. The tricky part now will be getting him to stand still and look at the camera when it's picture time :/\n***\n*I am NOT the original poster. This is a repost sub.*
## 141 \n\n[ Update 31 coming soon! ](https://preview.redd.it/ldbqdc0a17s81.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=d21257a549d0b1628bd6694f84723b4c1085c8b7)\n\n**Bloons TD 6 v31.0 -** **Update Preview! upcoming v30.0** \n\n**Key New Features**\n\n* **New Hero, Geraldo the Mystic Shopkeeper!**\n * A bold adventurer and seeker of fine things, Geraldo has explored the distant, mysterious reaches of the Monkey world to assemble his signature collection\n * Geraldo is almost nothing without his shop, so select the \034Shop\035 icon next to Geraldo\031s portrait when he is selected; the shop will remember its open or closed state for easy access\n * Shop items have a variety of uses - some place on the map, some on the track, others target Monkeys or subtowers; they all must be pulled from the shop to the playfield\n * Get ready for a wild ride, as Geraldo is intended to be a \034build\035 hero, supporting a variety of strategies that are designed to scale; heaps of dev and balance time behind this one - we hope you enjoy the mysteries!\n* **New Bloon Boss - Vortex, Deadly Master of Air!**\n * Affectionately known as speedy boi, but it may be some time before you feel any affection for this incredibly tough boss\n * Spawns with a temporary shield of wind that for a short time blows away all projectiles that are too slow to pass through it\n * Natural Bloon spawns are buffed by Vortex\031s slipstream, moving at incredible speeds until they catch up\n * On Skulls Vortex stuns all nearby towers with a burst of lightning, activates its storm shield, and retreats a short distance\n * Periodically triggers a storm wave that destroys all projectiles in a large radius\n * Distributed placements and ranged attacks are key to victory - good luck!\n\n**New Awesome**\n\n* New Beginner Map, Scrapyard!\n * Old cars and other scrap go to die in places off the beaten track, but the Bloons have even found this remote location; defend the derelicts and don\031t forget to play with the heavy machinery!\n * Sorry to the players who submitted similar ideas during the competition, but we already had our own idea in the works for a while now\n* New Trophy Store Items\n * Bloons: Cat Ear Bloons, Disguise Glasses\n * Co-op: Pat Flex emote, Mind Blown emote\n * Game & UI: Sunshine Serenade - Fiesta Mix music track, 2 New Avatars - Super Monkey & Striker Jones\n * Reddit Banner Competition winners\n * Banner winner (Arrival) - by betapotata\n * Banner winner (Beneath the Waves) - by Cyliia \n\n**Big Changes / Additions**\n\n* New Special Conditions for Custom Challenge victory\n * Least Cash has no limits on earning cash & allows all forms of income generation, but rewards victory only if a player remains below a chosen cash spent threshold\n * Least Tiers limits victory to staying under a chosen value of tiers which increments for every tower/ upgrades/ hero/ level purchased\n * We added these special conditions for victory as we thought they would be fun on their own, but we also have them in mind for the Contested Territory update coming later this year, as a variety of victory conditions will make the team dynamics needed to capture and hold a range of territory more interesting\n* Updated Heroes Screen\n * We\031ve been wanting to update the Heroes screen for awhile, so with the addition of our 14th Hero, Geraldo, we made that happen\n * Hopefully you will enjoy the full rework - making it easier to see all Heroes, allowing side by side comparisons of Heroes\031 powers, and surfacing the visual changes that accompany various upgrades\n* To prevent event games running past the final cutoff on score submission time, there will now be a short break in the final moments of competitive events in which the event is still active but no further games can be started\n* Structural and performance reworks to Bloons and the Bloon overlay system. All in the interest of tighter code and more flexibility for future updates.\n* Added commas to Cash, Damage Numbers, & Income for increased visibility and slightly delayed visits to your respective optometrists\n* Large changes to backend co-op game communication between clients for increased stability\n* Facebook friends\031 scores has been replaced with LiNK Friends scores so that we have more reliable control of score sharing; please note your Facebook friends will not autopopulate into your LiNK Friends - you will have to reestablish any Friend connections manually\n* Due to demand over the years, we have added a Logout option to our in game webview.\n\n**Bug Fixes & General Changes**\n\n* Resolved an issue with Custom Odyssey title/description being reset\n* Changed how boss bloon status overlays are applied to look better\n* Resolved an issue with Techbot ignoring hard limits on ability use in custom challenges in regards to overlap, causing laggy animation loops\n* Resolved players getting booted out of co-op sessions on some low end devices due to being timed out from a long desync\n* Optimizations made to freeplay roundsets\n* Using Thrive right before defeat, and restarting should no longer break the animation\n* Fixed some incorrect medal displays on leaderboards\n* Resolved some specific cases causing the pause penalty on races to carry over onto the next attempt\n* Map Area data converted to a new System which should improve performance & allow for more complex shapes\n* Rocket Storm ability is now grayed out between rounds\n* Add new localization for all hero skins to remove \030skin\031 from their names on player profiles.\n* Resolved some issues with hero skins changing when changing owner in co-op\n* Resolved a number of rare crashes\n* Added a new icon for the \030Create Challenge\031 button\n* Fixed Water Textures on Cargo map\n\nBoomerang Monkey\n\n* 5xx Boomerang glaives again crosspath correctly with xx2\n\nMonkey Buccaneer\n\n* Resolved Buccaneer showing wrong upgrade text after upgrading a ninja\n\nHeli Pilot\n\n* 104 Heli's Mini Comanche now correctly fire 5 darts at a time \n* xx5 Comanche Commander's damage has been corrected with crosspaths\n\nMortar Monkey\n\n* 502 Mortar now applies burn to DDTs without MIB so long as they circumvent the camo\n\nDartling Gunner\n\n* x5x MAD height inconsistencies compare to x4x Rocket Storm have been resolved\n\nWizard Monkey\n\n* 042 Summon Phoenix should now correctly interact with camo prio\n\nNinja Monkey\n\n* Resolved an issue with Master Bomber Stickies sometimes hitting regular Bloons instead of MOABs\n\nDruid\n\n* 5xx Superstorm now benefits from Ball Lightning 25% freeze chance regardless of crosspath\n* Resolved an issue with the Cold Front MK not always showing ice overlays on Bloons\n\nMonkey Village\n\n* Resolved some inconsistencies with top path farm buff icons\n\nEngineer\n\n* xx4 Bloon Trap issue resolved on Sunken Columns with Bloontraps falling under the map in certain locations\n* 014 Bloon Trap issue resolved with certain conditions causing Bloontraps to repeatedly auto-collect even while empty\n\nAdora\n\n* Adora sacrifice buff should now apply to Mini Sun Avatars from Temples\n\nAdmiral Brickell\n\n* Resolved an issue with Admiral Brickell's Mega Mine sometimes not showing stun effects\n\n**Desktop Version**\n\n* If you have already placed your hero, your \030Hero hotkey\031 (U by default) will now swap to instead \030select your hero\031 wherever it is. If you have more than one hero this will cycle through them\n* Resolved an issue with using hotkeys during loading screens causing some tower portraits to become faded out\n\n**Balance Changes** \n\nDart Monkey\n\nTo add a little more synergetic crosspath use for the Juggernaut 402 crosspath, xx2 will now also grant bonus projectile lifespan, this applies to any use of that crosspath though we feel it will in particular pair nicely with the ricocheting projectiles. Juggernaut in general is also seeing a small utility knockback buff to help it carry on a little longer into the game.\n\n* xx1 Long Range Darts also increases projectile lifespan +15%\n* xx2 Enhanced Eyesight also increases projectile lifespan +20%\n* 4xx Juggernaut gains a slight Bloon knockback (Same as xx3 dartling, but half duration)\n\nBomb Shooter\n\nThe Frags crosspath for top path Bomb Shooter has always been quite a poor choice, trying to compete with attack speed as a benefit for stun utility isn\031t going to ever work out so we have instead gone the route of turning the frags crosspath into a DPS/Stun hybrid with a lot of small buffs to frag power.\n\n* 302 Really Big Bombs frag damage increased 1 -> 3\n* 302 Really Big Bombs gains more frags 8 -> 12\n* 402 Bloon Impact frag pierce increased +1\n* 402 Bloon Impact frag damage increased 2 -> 3\n* 402 Bloon Impact gains even more frags 8 -> 16\n* 502 Bloon Crush remains at frag damage 12\n* 502 Bloon Crush frags gain bonus to ceramic +12\n* 502 Bloon Crush gains frag pierce 3 -> 20\n\nGlue Gunner\n\nWhoops, looks like I forgot to write anything.\n\n* 2xx Corrosive Glue DoT rate increased 2.3s -> 2\n* 3xx Bloon Dissolver DoT ceramic bonus increased 0 -> 1\n* 4xx Bloon Liquifier DoT ceramic bonus unchanged\n* 5xx The Bloon Solver bonus moab damage increased 3 -> 5\n\nMonkey Sub\n\nEnergizer upgrade offers nothing extra to the reactor sub aside from niche utility buffs, so we have increased the lategame cleanup potential by a large amount to help deal with Super Ceramics.\n\n* 5xx Energizer damage increased 3 -> 5\n* 5xx Energizer now adds bonus damage to ceramics +5\n\nMonkey Buccaneer\n\nThe base Grape attack of T4 MOAB Takedown has had a ceramic bonus added to lead up to the T5 a little better.\n\n* x4x MOAB Takedown grapeshot ceramic bonus added +1\n\nMonkey Ace\n\nSpy Plane is always a lesser crosspath aside from specific challenges that call for camo detection. It has a similar vibe to Night Vision sniper so we have given it a similar buff.\n\n* x2x Spy Plane grants attacks bonus damage to camos +1\n\nHeli Pilot\n\nPreviously Razor Rotor\031s used to make the heli pursue for a further distance & this caused it to often fail to reach Lead Bloons with the rotor attack that could pop them. This overall seemed like a design flaw so that back-off distance has been moved up to the T4 instead. Apache Dartship has also fallen off over time as a viable saveup for prime, though it is meant to be reasonably difficult some changes have made this a little more difficult than it probably should be so we have increased the pierce of the machinegun attack.\n\n* 3xx Razor Rotor\031s pursuit no longer backs so far away from Leads that it can\031t hit them\n* 4xx Apache Dartship pursuit distance increase now occurs here\n* 4xx Apache Dartship Machinegun pierce increased 5 -> 7\n* 5xx Apache Prime Machinegun pierce unchanged\n\nDartling Gunner\n\nRay of Doom suffers from the downsides of being designed as a high piercing tower, for the price this makes it feel far too weak against the round 100 BAD if you invest in it too early without some other forms of single target, to bring back a little of the interesting sort of targeting that the T4 has and help with this single target problem it will now deal a massive damage bonus to the first target hit along the beam\031s path.\n\n* 5xx Ray of Doom now deals bonus damage to the first target hit +55\n* 3xx Laser Cannon pierce increased from 4 -> 6\n* 302 Laser Cannon pierce increased from 6 -> 9\n* xx2 Powerful Darts now also gives 'larger projectiles' as a crosspath\n * 002 Powerful Darts normal projectile size increased from 2 -> 3\n * 032 Hydra Rocket Pods explosion size increased from 8 -> 12\n * 402 Plasma Accelerator focal point size increased from 4 -> 6\n * 402 Plasma Accelerator beam width increased from 2 -> 3\n * 502 Ray of Doom beam width increased from 6 -> 9\n\nWizard Monkey\n\nArcane Blast's benefit to the base tower is quite small for the price and also doesn't carry on well as a crosspath to the other T3s since they add new attacks instead of buffing the base attack, the price has been reduced to add a little more value here along with more MOAB damage at the T5 to give it a little more value over Arcane Spikes. As we somewhat expected the last Prince of Darkness rework didn\031t end up really nerfing it so much, so we are now following up with a small price nerf.\n\n* 2xx Arcane Blast price reduced $600 -> $450\n* 5xx Archmage bonus damage to MOABs 17 -> 19\n* xx5 Prince of Darkness price increased from $24,000 -> 26,500\n\nSuper Monkey\n\nRobo didn't need to lose pierce in the last Super Monkey T2 rework, and Dark Knight feels like it has too much pierce without ever considering the pierce crosspath. So to balance these together we\031ve taken out pierce from Dark Knight and added it back into x2x carrying up into Robo Monkey. Dark Champion pierce is increased rather than decreased to push it further ahead of Dark Knight.\n\n* x2x Epic Range increases pierce further 3 -> 4\n* xx3 Dark Knight pierce decreased 5 -> 4\n* xx4 Dark Champion pierce increased 7 -> 8\n\nNinja Monkey\n\nGrand Sabotage is extremely powerful in freeplay, but really boring outside of that one scaling mechanic. For a little more flavour with the shinobi mechanic, the T5 will now boost the potential of your shinobi army.\n\n* x5x Grand Sabotage ability grants all your Shinobi on screen +5 range\n* x5x Grand Sabotage ability grants all Shinobi +1 damage to MOABs\n\nBanana Farm\n\nPartially to help a little with tedious endgame farm collection in ranked boss events, or any other use you may desire for it, we have added a non-power form of easy banana collection. However we do not want to trivialize the intended downside of opting for a more micro intensive farm path too much, so this is still restricted behind a low-range tier 5 upgrade.\n\n* xx5 Monkey Wall Street now collects nearby bananas/crates as a Monkey Farmer would\n\nSpike Factory\n\nTo help make the tradeoff of building one T5 over multiple T4 not be as hard a choice, the basic attack on Carpet of Spikes has had power increased significantly over rate, range & damage.\n\n* x5x Carpet of Spikes range increased from 34 -> 50\n* x5x Carpet of Spikes main damage increased from 3 -> 4\n* x5x Carpet of Spikes main attack delay reduced 0.98s -> 0.33\n\nMonkey Village\n\nCall to Arms ability suffers from uptime, for such an expensive upgrade which is such low range and purely support this makes it hard to use, so duration has now been increased to push it up to a 1/3rd uptime threshold\n\n* x4x Call To Arms ability duration increased 12 -> 15\n* x5x Homeland duration remains unchanged\n\nEngineer\n\nSentry Expert really needed some logic fixes to get more of the actual correct sentries placed at the right times, it has also received a number of power buffs across the board to the special sentries at T4 complimenting the new logic reworking. Cleansing Foam has had some extra crosspath utility added at the cost of a small price increase and a large decrease to Ultraboost price.\n\n* 4xx Sentry Expert logic has been reworked to evaluate threat levels based on Bloon types that it can counter, Bloon types that counter the sentries that it wants to spawn, and which of the current threats on screen is the greatest. Distribution of sentry types should scale based on how much one Bloon threat is more of a threat than another.\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Crush Sentry ceramic damage bonus increased from 1 -> 4\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Crush Sentry damage type changed from Sharp -> Shatter\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Bomb Sentry damage increased 2 -> 4\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Cold Sentry pierce increased from 15 -> 25\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Cold Sentry radius increased from 12 -> 18\n* 4xx Sentry Expert Energy Sentry gain moab damage bonus of +2\n* x3x Cleansing Foam price increased from 800 -> 850\n* 032 Pin allows Cleansing Foam to slow Bloons 50% briefly\n* 130 Foam makes Sentries shoot Foamy nails that strip properties\n* x5x Ultraboost price decreased from $120,000 -> 105,000\n\nGwendolin\n\nGwendolin\031s Firestorm damage doesn\031t carry well into the endgame so has been buffed at a later level.\n\n* Lv16 Firestorm base damage tic increases from 1 > 5\n* Lv16 Firestorm MOAB damage tic increases from 10 > 15\n\nPat Fusty\n\nPat Fusty was initially given a smaller footprint than it felt he should have due to concerns about balance with his small radius, but actually has been extremely powerful for a long time despite these radius issues. We feel like now giving him back the footprint size that he always should have had similar to Churchill will add a reasonable lategame downside to consider without harming his early use so badly.\n\n* Pat Fusty footprint increased from 7 -> 8\n\nAdmiral Brickell\n\nThe Sea Mines delay that was added back in 29 has done well for reducing some of Brickells weaknesses, but as we expected somewhat does add in new weaknesses to rush rounds of Bloons that can now sneak past before all of her mines have been able to acquire a target. To help lessen this new issue she has gained a brand new ability that will allow more Sea Mines to rapidly deploy and find a target over a short duration.\n\n* Lv7 Blast Chain utility ability added for Admiral Brickell. For 10 seconds all sea mines have their delay halved (the new one added in 29), & their projectile speed doubled\n\nPsi\n\nWe felt that Psi\031s early game too easily carried into some extremely powerful endgame setups. These setups were overperforming due to certain cooldown interactions with stalling out cooldown, however in an effort to try to avoid nerfing the cooldown for the average player we decided to make that stalling synergy harder to pull off instead.\n\n* Psi base price increased $800 -> 1000\n* Lv10 Psionic Scream ability 'speed of blow back' increased from Bloon speed 300% -> 600%\n\nGlue Rat\n\nGlue Rat pet has been overperforming in all game modes for a while now without any apparent weakness or strategic downsides.\n\n* Base movement speed ramping level endures persistently\n* Max level goggle tightness loosened from Max -> Sam
## 151 My fiancée is dealing with mental illness and she used to get a lot of panic attacks and mental breakdowns. Due to therapy and medication she's a bit better now but the issue still exists. She also suffers from ptsd and it gets triggered everytime she has a fight with her dad because he purposely triggers it.\n\nTwo days ago my best friend and his partner broke up. I asked him if he wanted to go have a beer or something with me and the other friend of ours so we can comfort him and support him but he rejected it and said we'll arrange for another day.\n\nYesterday my fiancée had a horrible fight with her dad over the phone and her anxiety and ptsd got triggered and she was suffering another breakdown and panic attack. While she was going through that, my best friend texts me that he and our other friend will go for beers in an hour and that I should join them.\n\nI waited for my fiancée to calm down, just so I can tell her ill go for beer with the guys and that I want to comfort my best friend who broke up. She didn't completely calm down but she could at least hear what I had to say. I told her that and she said ok. I told her to go lay down and try to sleep so I won't have to worry about her when I'm out. She went and did that.\n\nI went out with the guys and I truly wanted to comfort my best friend. Two hours in I realise I have 4 missed calls from my fiancée and two missed calls from my mother. I called back my fiancée but she didn't respond so I called my mom and she started yelling at me on the phone\n\n"What were you thinking? Your fiancée had a panic attack and you left her alone and went to grab beers? And on top of that you didn't pick up your fuckin phone and she had to call me to tell me her oxygen levels dropped and she needed to go to the hospital? Get your fuckin ass up here right now ". My heart dropped. I told the guys I have to go to the hospital where my mom and brother have taken my fiancée. I couldn't immediately see my fiancée because the Doctors were checking her but I met with my mom and brother and they both scolded me for young for beers and leaving my fiancée mid mental breakdown. I told them that I also wanted to comfort my best friend who's freshly broken up and sad and I wanted to be there for him. My mom told me that the beers could wait and I'm an AH for choosing to comfort my best friend instead of my fiancée who was going through a dangerous panic attack and that I should've known better. I told them I left because I though she had calmed down and she'd sleep. AITA?\n\nEdit : I'd appreciate offensive language towards my fiancée to not be used. She didn't even complain or anything and I don't appreciate how some of you turn her into a villain. This is a post about my actions. Not hers. Mine and my choice on this instance. Let's focus on that instead of insulting mentally ill people please.\n\nEdit 2 : I guess the mods can lock this now if they wish. I just wanted to clarify one more thing. I asked for a verdict on whether I was TA on a specific situation were I might have been reckless or not. I did not ask advice on how to handle my fiancée and her mental health. Honestly keep it. I don't need it as I know more than enough what I need to do. Whether I messed up or not that's on any individual's judgement here. But I asked judgement on one thing and many of you decided to turn it into something else that I never asked or intended to talk about. Wish we could stay on topic. Appreciate your judgements a lot. Thank you!
## 161 ***I am NOT OP, this is a repost. OP is u/ThrowRA92671, posted to r/relationship_advice.***\n\n**Original posted 14 May 2021**. [My (F 30s) friend (F 30s) is addicted to video games, all she does is play video games, and now she is making her child do nothing but play video games.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/nbxsq4/my_f_30s_friend_f_30s_is_addicted_to_video_games/)\n\nMy friend plays video games every spare moment she has; unfortunately, I\031m not exaggerating this at all. She does so at the expense of everything else in her life. She neglects to do anything but the basics for her child, has exchanged real life friendships for in-game friendships, and her games have become her #1 priority above even her child and husband.\n\nNow, she has started sitting her child in front of video games and having the child play for all hours during the days and evenings. Her child is bright, smart, and clearly wants to do something more with my friend, but video games are the only thing the child gets.\n\nThere have been a few times when I\031ve been speaking to my friend, and I can hear her child in the background saying things like \034mommy I\031m hungry I want breakfast\035, and my friend will tell her child to wait, mommy needs to finish something in the game first.\n\nI\031m at a point now where I\031m not only worried about the state of our friendship, but also worried for her child\031s well being. I don\031t think she is neglecting her child in the sense of failing to feed or anything like that, but the poor kid basically spends the days tucked away in a corner of the house playing video games and entertaining themselves. Sadly, my friend\031s husband is no different, and spends most of his time on video games.\n\nI\031ve tried to talk to my friend in the past about my concerns, and though she has agreed that her gaming is excessive, she always gets defensive and says something along the lines of \034I\031m trying to get better why isn\031t that good enough\035.\n\nI\031m a gamer myself, so I\031m not the \034video games are evil\035 type of person, but her playing is out of control. She works for 8 hours a day, and then games from when she\031s off work until late into the night. I\031ve even seen her playing during work hours (she works from home). Weekends are spent on video games.\n\nHow do I approach her about this? It\031s eating away at me, watching my friends\031 life crumble, and watching her child pushed aside like that, all for the sake of video games. I know that she\031s an adult, and she can make her own decisions, but as her friend, I feel like not saying something is doing a disservice to her and our friendship.\n\nHELP.\n\n**UPDATE 1a posted 20 May 2021**, to r/ relationship_advice. [My (F 30s) friend (F 30s) asked my husband and I if we will \034take her daughter (4) for a while\035 so that her and her husband can \034work things out\035.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ngwt5w/my_f_30s_friend_f_30s_asked_my_husband_and_i_if/)\n\nI posted about a week ago about my friend who is addicted to video games and does nothing else, and I was worried that she was putting her daughter aside/also making her daughter just sit in a corner to play video games all day.\n\nUnfortunately, I was right, but the situation is actually worse than I thought.\n\nI spoke to my friend about my concerns, and she broke down, telling me how much she hates being a mother, wishes she never had her daughter, and how much having a child ruined her and her husband\031s life. She didn\031t come right out and say that she\031s been neglecting her daughter, but we had a very long phone conversation, and as I listened to what she was saying, it became very clear that her daughter is not properly cared for.\n\nFor the sake of keeping this short, here\031s my dilemma: during our conversation, she asked me if my husband and I would be willing to take her daughter for a while in order for her and her husband to work on their relationship and their lives.\n\nHer daughter is the same age as my son, we FaceTime frequently, and they really like each other. Her daughter is also such a sweet little girl, very well behaved, smart, and just all around a very wonderful 4-year-old. However, my friend lives halfway across the country, which means her daughter would be here completely without her parents, and they would not even be able to visit. Also, when I asked my friend how long \034a while\035 would be, she can\031t give me a firm answer. She said something along the lines of \034maybe just a month or two, maybe longer...it would be so cute of our kids could go to school together!\035 In her province, kids don\031t go to school until 5, but where I live, they go to school at 4, so it sounds like she intends for me to keep her daughter for much longer than just a month or two.\n\nI\031m so conflicted. On one hand, having a second kid here to care for would be difficult for me, even though she\031s well behaved, and I do work 40+ hours a week (from home) so I know it would be doubling the work for me. On the other hand, I know that the only family my friend and her husband have out there is her husband\031s parents, who are much older and not willing to take their daughter at all. I\031m sick to my stomach thinking of this poor girl stuck in that house with who-knows-what going on.\n\nMy husband and I have been talking about it, and we just can\031t come to a decision. He feels the same as me: their daughter needs a better stable living situation, and we can give that to her, but should we?\n\nAny advice and/or opinions would be much appreciated. I feel like outside perspectives would be very helpful! Thank you.\n\nEdit to add: My friend\031s husband is of the same mindset as my friend. He is currently a stay at home dad, not of his own choice, but simply because he lost his job shortly after covid happened. He cares for their daughter during the day, but has openly admired how much he hates it. My friend is the one that strong armed him into having a child (which, to me, is ridiculous, as my opinion is that you shouldn\031t allow someone to force you into doing something you don\031t want), and he has admitted that he doesn\031t enjoy being a dad.\n\nI also want to add that both my friend and her husband seem to be addicted to video games and put those over their daughter\031s needs. An example would be how they refused to get the daughter a new mattress (the one she is sleeping on is over 20 years old) saying that the cost was too high (you can get a single mattress for $100-$200 at most), but a month later they bought themselves a PS5 each (just over $1400 for both). Their daughter is definitely at the bottom of their priorities.\n\n**UPDATE 1b posted 20 May 2021**, to r/ legaladvice. [My friend and her husband asked my husband and I if we will \034take their daughter (4) for a while\035 so that they can \034work things out\035. How do we protect ourselves?](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/nh8cv8/my_friend_and_her_husband_asked_my_husband_and_i/)\n\nI\031m on mobile and have no idea how to link to another post of mine, so apologies for that!\n\nShort version: My friend and her husband have asked me and my husband if we would be willing to have her daughter come and visit us with the intention of her staying for \034a month or two\035 while they sorted out marital issues. They have given us the impression that \034a month or two\035 would likely end up being longer, and it\031s very possible that they would end up pushing the date back again and again, and we\031re worried about their daughter ending up with us indefinitely.\n\nCommenters on my other post have brought up some things that I hadn\031t initially considered, and I\031m looking for advice on how to best handle the situation if my husband and I decide to have their daughter come to stay with us. We are in Ontario, and they are in Alberta, so there wouldn\031t be any visits from the parents while we had her.\n\nOur worries:\n\nFinancial support: There has been no mention of giving us money to help offset the cost of taking their daughter even for just a couple of months. We aren\031t wealthy, but we are definitely more well-off than they are, as the husband lost his job early last year, and they have amassed a lot of debt.\nMedical decisions: If there is a medical emergency while their daughter is staying here, will we have the ability to make medical decisions for her? I\031m not sure she would be covered under OHIP if she is from AB.\nVisit gets extended: There\031s a very real possibility that the parents wouldn\031t take her back.\nI\031m sure there are other things we should be worrying about as well, but for now, these are the major issues we are completely unsure about.\n\nWould we need to petition for some sort of temporary guardianship? Would a \034contract\035 of some sort written up and agreed upon by all parties be sufficient instead? This entire situation is very foreign to us, we have never fostered a child or anything of the sort, so we are totally out of our depths here.\n\nAny sort of insight would be very appreciated! Thank you!\n\n**UPDATE 2 posted 23 May 2021**, to r/ relationship_advice. [UPDATE: My (F 30s) friend (F 30s) asked my husband and I if we will \034take her daughter (4) for a while\035 so that her and her husband can \034work things out\035.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/nix16a/update_my_f_30s_friend_f_30s_asked_my_husband_and/) \n\nFirst, I want to say thank you to everyone who weighed in on the original post. A lot of people pointed out things that we had not thought of initially. Also shout out to r/legaladvice the one person who commented was a world of help!\n\nThis is longer than I meant it to be, so bear with me...\n\nAfter a lot of consideration, and talking to my brother (social worker, works for CAS), my husband and I decided that we would not take the daughter, even for \034just a visit\035. It was a very difficult decision to make, and even now, I\031m not 100% certain it\031s the right one. We called my friend yesterday, made sure her husband joined on the call, and we laid out all of our concerns, and told them both that while they are always welcome to visit as a family, we just can\031t take their daughter by herself. My friend was very upset, she actually walked away (we were on FaceTime...thought it best to talk face to face as best as we could) and refused to come back to the phone for most of the conversation. Very immature, but I can\031t say it wasn\031t expected of her. We talked mostly to her husband, explained our reasons (too many to get into here), and then told him that if they have things they need to work on, they need to work on them as a family unit. I was also very blunt, and told them that in no way would we be taking their daughter just for them to live like a child-free couple and spend all of their waking moments playing video games.\n\nWhen my friend did eventually come back to the call, I told her that she has a serious problem with video games and she needs to get her shit together, not just for herself, but for her daughter. I might have been too harsh - I got pretty angry with her at one point - but when she tried to pull the \034no one else seems to care about my video game playing\035 card (referencing the fact that our mutual friends just don\031t say anything to her about it), I reminded her that I have always been the friend to be honest with her and give her tough love. I told her that she and her husband need to get themselves into therapy, and do better - as partners, as parents, and as people.\n\nWhen we hung up after almost 2 hours of talking, I was hopeful that we got through to them, and they would start to get it together.\n\nThis was all yesterday. Today, her sister sent me a message on Facebook to tell me that my friend\031s daughter will be visiting with her in about two weeks for \034a month or so\035 to spend time with her kids during the summer, and asked if I wanted to plan something with the daughter for a week or two while she was there.\n\nI was stunned. My friend\031s sister (who I\031ll just call \034sister\035 from now on) is a single mother with three kids of her own. I thought she was still in a two bedroom apartment, but just found out that she recently moved to a three bedroom house (she posted about it on Facebook, but I honestly hardly go on there at all). I immediately called sister to tell her everything. Sister had no idea that my friend had approached me first about watching her daughter, and when I told sister about everything that happened, and about the post on Reddit (read some comments to her), she was PISSED. She said that my friend framed it to her that she simply wanted her daughter and sister\031s kids to spend more time together so that she could \034know her cousins better\035 since they\031re so far apart. I warned sister about everything brought up on Reddit, and by the time we were done talking, she had decided to not have the daughter visit.\n\nShe must have called my friend and told her all of this, because just about an hour ago, I got a screaming angry phone call from my friend, telling me I was a horrible friend for doing what I did, and for not being there for her when she needed me. I said nothing, I was speechless, and after just a few minutes, she hung up on me.\n\nNow, I\031m sitting here sick with worry about her daughter, and unsure of what to do next. I think a call to CAS is needed, but beyond that: what do I do? Is there even anything else I can do? I\031m lost, guys, and so scared for that little girl.\n\nEDIT: I will be calling CAS tomorrow, and reporting my friend (with the help of my brother). I\031m just not sure if there\031s anything else I can be doing on top of that.\n\n**UPDATE 3 posted 17 July 2021**, to r/relationship_advice. [Should I allow my friend to take her daughter for an overnight visit?](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/om94cm/should_i_allow_my_friend_to_take_her_daughter_for/)\n\nTo keep a long story short, I\031ll just say that for a few different reasons, my husband and I currently have temporary custody of my friend\031s 4 year old daughter. My friend and her husband gave her to us voluntarily, but there is also an official \034order\035 in place that states that we have guardianship over her. Visitation is completely up to us.\n\nMy friend and her husband live half way across the country, so visits haven\031t happened at all yet. However, my friend will be going (without her husband) to visit her sister in a few weeks, who lives close by (within an hour drive). She said that she wants to bring her daughter for an overnight visit with her, but I don\031t know if I want to allow it. I have custody of her daughter for good reasons, and I\031m not sure if it\031s a good idea. However, she will be at her sister\031s, who has 3 children of her own, and I trust that her sister will take care of the daughter. I\031m also currently pregnant, in my first trimester, and it is kicking my butt. A break would be nice (I have a son that\031s the same age as the daughter....it\031s been fun so far, but also chaotic lol).\n\nThe reason I\031m uncomfortable with the idea: I have this horrible fear, rational or irrational, that my friend could take off with her daughter, and I would never see them again. In the past, my friend has talked about just packing up and leaving, with or without her daughter, and the nagging feeling of what she might do is making me hesitate.\n\nThoughts? My husband said that we could offer to have my friend here for a few days, and that way I can monitor them, but I have a feeling she won\031t go for that.\n\nAm I being unreasonable for thinking I shouldn\031t let my friend have an overnight visit with her daughter?\n\n**BONUS STORY posted 15 June 2021**, to r/AmItheAsshole. [AITA for getting a dog without telling me landlord (who is also my BIL)?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o0bhhj/aita_for_getting_a_dog_without_telling_me/)\n\n*Spoiler:* >!OOP finds out she might be getting evicted! !<\n\nMy husband and I moved into this house 5+ years ago, and had two Great Danes at the time. Our landlord is my husband\031s sister\031s husband (BIL), and has no problem with the dogs. About 3 years ago, both dogs passed away within the same year, and we decided to not get more pets for a while.\n\nHowever, a few months ago, we decided to adopt a lab mix from the local shelter. Our son really wanted a dog, and we felt that enough time had passed since our other dogs passed away that we would be ok to get another dog. He\031s the best dog and my son adores him.\n\nRecently, we had to make some changes to the house to make room for another child to come and stay with us, and decided to move our office downstairs and convert the old office into a bedroom. Since our landlord is also our BIL, he has always allowed us to make aesthetic changes to the house (such as painting, carpet change, etc). While we were taking down wallpaper, we noticed an odd stain beneath one section that looked like it might be water damage, and called BIL over to check it out in case it was something serious. He came over, and when he saw the dog, he made a comment like, \034oh, you guys got a new dog?\035, and I was a bit surprised because we hadn\031t kept it a secret. My husband had told his sister and mother, and BIL\031s teenage daughter had visited our home since we got the dog, so we just assumed he knew. He checked out the stain (turned out to be nothing) and then left, and the next day my husband got a text message from BIL saying that it was wrong of us to not ask for permission before getting the dog. He wants us to get rid of it.\n\nI\031m confused as to why he is upset. We came into this house with two giant dogs, and he never had an issue. We discussed animals in the house before moving in and he said then that it wasn\031t a problem. There\031s nothing In our lease that prohibits animals. I refuse to get rid of this dog.\n\nAm I in the wrong here?\n\n[EDIT TO UPDATE]: SIL just called to talk to my husband. She apologized, told him that BIL already knew about the dog months ago because she told him. She admitted to my husband that she and BIL are getting a divorce, and that BIL has just been angry that we are living in \034his property\035 (not just his, it\031s jointly owned), and he wants us out because my husband is SIL\031s brother, he \034doesn\031t want to have to deal with any of her family\035. Looks like we might have bigger issues to worry about soon...\n\n\024\n\n*Reminder, I am NOT OP*
## 171 Originally posted on https://www.CaptainAwkward.com, which if you don\031t read her blog, you should! Fantastic scripts. She gives the best scripts. \n\n\nMood spoiler: >!intensely smothering/manipulative but it ends well!<\n\n[Original post June 2019](https://captainawkward.com/2019/06/10/1208-question-about-mom-friends-being-too-mothering/)\n\nDear Captain,\n\nI (she/her) have a friend, \034Mary\035 who is, by her own admission, a \034mom\035 friend. Mary is very kind\023 but emotionally overreaching. She feels responsible for making sure her friends are well cared for. Mary has even joked that if it weren\031t for her, her friends would buy nothing but junk food and toys at the grocery store, instead of groceries. When we get together, Mary will insist on cooking, even when somebody else volunteers to cook instead. If one of us DOES cook, Mary will hover, or \034help\035 by essentially taking over the cooking\023adding ingredients and more or less pushing the other cook out of the kitchen. Mary will consistently cite any accident or mistake any of us have made as an excuse to swoop in. Then she will complain that she is always the one stuck with the cooking.\n\nMary also feels very much\023if she thinks her friends are upset or potentially upset, she will become upset for them. (For example, I have been very stressed at work and with personal projects, and Mary started crying because I \034am going to burn out\035 and that I am \034such a perfectionist that you are going to hurt yourself!\035) If I complain to Mary about anything, be it annoyance over traffic to a problem with a coworker, it becomes a \034problem\035 and Mary is quick to give me unsolicited advice, get defensive for me or otherwise volunteer to help me solve this \034problem.\035\n\nIf she knows I am struggling with something, Mary will constantly bring it up (probably in an attempt to reinforce what she thinks is the \034positive\035 message), or turn even a casual comment (\034I wish could sleep for five years,\035) into a big referendum or discussion on my mental health. If we have a difficult conversation or discussion, it will end with Mary crying, clutching me like I am some sort of child and even kissing the top of my head while I am just feeling frustrated. If I try to establish boundaries (\034This isn\031t a topic I am willing to discuss with you, let\031s talk about something else\035), my boundaries are immediately overridden. In fact, it seems as if my attempts to establish boundaries are interpreted by Mary as a further excuse to involve herself in me and my life!\n\nI know that Mary is coming from a place of love and care. What reads to me as \034manipulative\035 and \034immature,\035 aren\031t necessarily that\023it\031s just that it is to me! (Ed. note: IT\031S NOT JUST YOU) I care very much about Mary but I am reaching the end of my rope. I understand this is part of the \034mom\035 friend aspect, but Cap, I HATE being mothered. My own mother doesn\031t even \034mother\035 me. It has never worked on me, and will never work on me, no matter how many times Mary tries to become my surrogate mom. I\031m trying hard not to become a hallmark-movie-style troubled teen and start yelling \034You are not my real mom!\035 at her.\n\nSometimes, I just need to vent or talk about my issues without needing a \034solution\035 or it turning into an \034argument.\035 I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around Mary because even a casual joke (the kind that everyone in our generation and friend group makes!) becomes an emotionally exhausting exercise where I am left feeling emotionally infantilized and I start to resent Mary\031s lack of maturity.\n\nOn top of this, Mary is attending therapy and seems to think herself the authority on all matters now\023she declares herself an expert on conflict resolution but her form of \034resolution\035 is to cry until she gets what she wants or can manipulate the narrative to seem like she was correct (in case it wasn\031t obvious by now, Mary has an INTENSE martyrdom complex.)\n\nI don\031t want to lose Mary as a friend, and I can\031t really get away from her for now. I don\031t know how to explain to Mary that I don\031t need a \034mom\035 or a \034mom friend,\035 and that her \034mothering\035 is making it impossible to just be \034friends.\035 How do you get a \034mom friend\035 to stop \034mothering\035 her friends?\n\nI don\031t know how to ask Mary to emotionally detach herself from me and my problems without making it seem like I am asking her to get out of my life. I also don\031t know how I could possibly have these difficult conversations with Mary without it turning into an emotional meltdown on Mary\031s part that she then projects onto me, as further evidence that I \034need\035 her. Can you help me find a script to deal with Mary?\n\nThanks,\n\nShe\031s not my mom (friend)\n\nOptional P.S. Neither of us are parents, apologies if it was confusing!\n\n\n[Comments with increasingly terrifying details](https://captainawkward.com/2019/06/10/1208-question-about-mom-friends-being-too-mothering/#comment-238540)\n\nFirst of all, thank everyone (Captian and crew!) for the wonderful advice and encouragement! I am going to try all of this advice and see if it works out & I realize I\031ve put myself in situations where she CAN manipulate me, so I really appreciate the Wake Up Call! The clarity and relief of other people who aren\031t tangled in Mary\031s weird parental web saying \034this isn\031t right\035 was like cold clear water in a desert.\n\nSecondly, I HAVE tried ignoring her tantrums. I\031ve removed myself from the room, etc and Mary has sat outside the door to the room I am in and LOUDLY CRIED for two+ hours before stopping, only to send me a text message that she had left a cup of tea and a bottle of water out for me and rewriting the whole narrative to be \034[LW] was so upset and contrite that she locked herself in her room for hours and I, the Good And Loving Mary, tried to break through to her as best as I could!\035 which&.yeah. I can ignore her tantrums until the cows come home and Mary will still make it all about her. I\031m not sure how (or even if I should?) reclaim the tantrums to be about the issue and not Mary\031s reaction to the issue. If anyone has some advice for dealing with this? Or will ignoring for long enough work? Should I push back on her rewriting reality or just leave it be and let her cry herself exhausted? I didn\031t mention it in my original letter but everyone seems to have great advice soooo&\n\nI am super fortunate that most of my friends have my back in dealing with Mary, but they\031ve been very hesitant to do/say anything about her (aside from trying (and failing) to cheerfully reshift the conversation away and being railroaded by Mary)&I think I will try asking them to take a more proactive role as well as the other wonderful advice I\031ve gotten and see if that does any good.\n\nPerhaps most horrifying of all is that Mary is the most vocal about wanting children, wanting to become a mother and making plans for it which *shudder* Maybe she\031ll grow up before then&?\n\nThank you all again!\n\n[Second comment](https://captainawkward.com/2019/06/10/1208-question-about-mom-friends-being-too-mothering/#comment-238617)\n\nI feel bad for continually popping in, I am so so sorry for continually alarming people!\n\nNothing like the horrified reactions of other people to make you realize how utterly insane the behavior you have become accustom to is&Turns out you can become used to being held hostage by crying at least once a month and not think anything of it&.\n\nMary is my housemate but sadly I cannot move out. The house is literally mine (my grandmother gave it to me in her Will when she passed, and I have been very fortunate to have a home that I could share with my friends) or else I would\031ve moved out already. I had offered to let her stay with me to help her get away from a very bad situation. She and I had been friends for 8+ years prior, and while she had always been a Feels Too Much sort of friend, this controlling, manipulative behavior is super new. She went from the \034good mom friend\035 (always prepared with otc medicine and granola bar) to the \034bad mom friend\035 once we were living together.\n\nOf course, none of this is to justify anything, but rather clarifying. I had hoped I could avoid the Going Nuclear option and just figure out a way to live with her until she moves out (which she says will happen this summer)&But I might have to press that button sooner.\n\nThanks again, to everyone who commented and shared their stories. My heart breaks for everyone whose actual mother is like This. I hope you are all safe, loved, wrapped in a warm blanket with firm boundaries.\n\nI am asking Mary to give me a move out date and I am going to hold her to it. Wish me luck!\n\n[\034Move Out, Mary!\035 plans got derailed when she broke her leg and Mary volunteered to stick around take care of her. (Threat level: True Crime Podcast.)](https://captainawkward.com/2020/11/15/update-for-1208-question-about-mom-friends-being-too-mothering/)\n\n[https://captainawkward.com/2020/11/15/update-for-1208-question-about-mom-friends-being-too-mothering/](November 2020 - final update)\n\nHi Cap, I wanted to offer an update on the whole Mary saga at long last. Obviously, things really didn\031t go according to plan but, at long last, my house is Mary free! I said it before, but I want to say it again: I am so grateful for the help and advice offered by your blog and the readers. Thank you so very much. The long and short of it is, I ended up having to enact the safety plans I had made on you and your readers advice. After I was finally recovered from my fall and broken leg, I finally, *finally* convinced her to move out again. I really, really didn\031t want to have to take her to court so it was a lot of catering to Mary\031s hysterics and gray rocking her until she finally gave up. I would set a date for her to get out and then another crisis would happen and she would go crying to our social group about how horrible it was that I was kicking her out when [her great, great, grand-uncle twice removed died] / [she started maybe looking at applications for going back to school] / [whatever else] and I kept rolling over and letting her stay another month, and then another, and then&Well, it took far longer than it should have, but she was going to move out at the end of March. We had packed up her things. Then, the pandemic hit. And Mary decided to go up to the epicenter (at the time) of the pandemic for a \034\035vacation\035\035 that apparently involved a whole lot of really risky behavior during a global pandemic. While she was gone, our state imposed a moratorium on all eviction actions, and she decided that meant she did not have to leave after all. I had to get out of my own house for my safety at that point. Luckily, I had a plan already in place, so it was done in the course of an afternoon and Mary came back to a clean, empty house. I told her she needed to follow through on her move out plans and she agreed, but said that the pandemic meant she couldn\031t move out just yet& Six months later, she, at last, moved out. After living without Mary, it was like a breath of fresh air and I relished my Mary-less life, even if I was living on a pull-out mattress. Then, I went over to my house to move back in and found out that Mary had completely trashed it. Over the course of six months, she had managed to destroy every single piece of carpet, scuff, and scratch, and dent the walls, and there were piles and piles and piles of trash, rotting food, and animal feces (yes, really!) on nearly every surface. She tried to blame me for it, saying the house was a mess when I left it (it wasn\031t) and tried to gaslight me and everyone else involved\024but it didn\031t work this time, since there were more witnesses than she could gaslight. I\031ve joked that it turns out when I used to feel as if I was the only person doing any cleaning in the house, I was correct. It took a month of going over almost every day and cleaning just to make the house *livable* again. She did nearly $10,000 worth of damage to my property, and that is with a considerable amount of DIY repair. It was genuinely horrifying, I think Mary is very sick. But, finally, I am back in my own home again. Roommate-free and I couldn\031t be happier. I\031ve finally stopped flinching every time I do something that used to set off Mary\031s hysterics. Mary has been blocked on every platform she could reach out to me on, my locks have been changed, and I\031m fortunate enough to have a strong group of friends who have pushed back on any of Mary\031s attempts to get around those blocks. Once I told my social group a little bit more about what had been going on and they suddenly realized all the lies that Mary had been feeding them, they were all horrified. I was scared to tell a lot of them, but I had enough evidence that Mary\031s lies crumbled so quickly. I\031ve been in therapy to deal with both my own issues and with the residual trauma of living with Mary. You and your readers were so correct about how dangerous Mary was, and I am so, so glad that you were able to help me see that. I felt it was time to write an update. I know it\031s been a long time, and it probably took far too long to get here, but I am so glad I am here at last. It feels really good. Thank you so much again
## 181 Hello everyone,\n\nWe\031ve combined patches 1.10 into 1.11, and it\031s available now! Please take a look through the Patch Notes listed below, and ensure your game is up-to-date before jumping back in.\n\n\\*\\* Please note that some patch notes may contain SPOILERS!\\*\\*\n\nPATCH NOTES\n\n**KNOWN ISSUES**\n\nWe are currently looking into several issues reported by the community. Please note that these issues are not yet fixed in this patch, but our teams are aware of them and they\031re being investigated.\n\n* During Side Quest \030Blood Choke\031, Atekka does not use the ballista.\n* The \030Upgraded Every Pouch Type\031 Trophy does not unlock for some players after upgrading each Pouch type - please note, for this trophy you will need to have the Food Pouch which is collected after purchasing food from a chef.\n* Players reported no longer being able to trade with Abadund after completing his dialogue after finishing a Side Quest.\n* Players cannot place any waypoint markers on the open world within a 500 meter radius of Aloy\031s position.\n* Players reported new items acquired not showing up with the New (!) icon in their inventory.\n\nWe are also aware of streams being interrupted when playing on 1080p and 60fps, after saving at campfires. To avoid this from happening, it\031s advised to select a lower broadcast quality or lower framerate, for example, 1080p and 30fps, or 720p and 60fps.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**FIXES AND IMPROVEMENTS**\n\n**Main Quests**\n\n* Fixed an issue in Main Quest \034The Broken Sky\035 where sometimes players were not able to interact with or follow Kotallo after fast traveling away and progressing through other side content.\n* Fixed an issue in Main Quest \034The Wings Of The Ten\035 where in rare occasions the objective would not update upon returning to the Base, blocking progression.\n\n**Side Quests**\n\n* Fixed multiple conditional progression issues in Side Quest \034Thirst For The Hunt\035.\n* Fixed an issue in Side Quest \034Boom Or Bust\035 where overriding any of the machines during the \034Kill the Machines\035 objective would not progress the quest.\n* Fixed multiple instances of machines that would get outside of the player\031s reach during Side Quest objectives, thus conditionally blocking progression.\n* Fixed an issue where a cutscene would not play when revisiting Kotallo in the Memorial Grove if players finished the Main Quest "Singularity" after Side Quest "What Was Lost".\n\n**World Activities**\n\n* Fixed an issue in Rebel Camp Devil\031s Grasp where sometimes the \034Search the Command Center\035 objective could not be completed.\n* Fixed an issue in Rebel Camp First Forge where the player can miss obtaining the Sun Scourge bow by reloading a save after looting Asera. NOTE: This will not affect save games of people who "lost" the bow due to reloading the save after picking up the bow but before talking to Erend. These players can revisit Asera\031s corpse. Asera's corpse will always respawn until players have looted the bow from her. Please, take the bow so she can stop haunting the West.\n* Fixed an issue with Keruf\031s \034Missing Gear\035 salvage contract where the contract could not be completed if the player acquired multiples of the required items.\n* Fixed an issue in the Plainsong Hunting Grounds where trials could sometimes not be started or completed.\n* Fixed an issue with Melee Pits progression.\n\n**Machines**\n\n* Fixed an issue where player level instead of kill count could influence whether Apex or Evolved machines would spawn in the open world instead of standard variants.\n* Fixed an issue with the Bristleback where the Apex version would never spawn in the open world.\n* Fixed an issue with the Plowhorn where the Apex Plowhorn would not contain the Apex Plowhorn Heart.\n* Fixed an issue with the Rockbreaker where \034Mining Claws\035 could not be collected from an Apex Rockbreaker after detaching them.\n* Fixed an issue with the Slaughterspine where looting the Plasma Earthblaster from the Apex Slaughterspine would contain one metal shard, instead of Volatile Sludge and Crystal Braiding.\n* Tweaked drop rates for the Snapmaw\031s \034Dispersal Tanks\035 loot.\n* Fixed an issue with the Skydrifter where the Skydrifter would stand in the air.\n* Fixed an issue with the Thunderjaw where the regular (non-Apex) version would never spawn in the open world.\n* Disciplined a Tideripper caught showing off by slip and sliding across their designated habitat.\n* Fixed an issue with the Widemaw where its throat keeps spinning after it has been killed.\n\n**Humans**\n\n* Fixed an issue with humanoid enemies where applying the killing blow with a Spike Thrower could cause the enemies to freeze in place instead of dying and falling to the ground.\n\n**Weapons/Armor/Skills**\n\n* Rebalanced the unintentional change on Legendary weapons.\n* Fixed an issue with the upgrade path for Death-Seeker\031s Shadow: Increased Impact Damage for Advance Hunter Arrows with the first upgrade.\n* Fixed an issue with Death-Seeker\031s Shadow and Lightning Hunter Bow where crafting Advanced Shock Hunter arrows would draw resources from the stash.\n* Fixed an issue with Shredders where sometimes the reload and toss animation did not play.\n* Fixed an issue with Shredders where Advanced Shredders would use the same icon as normal Shredders.\n* Fixed an issue with the Shredder Satchel where the Workbench menu states that the maximum number of Advanced Shredders is increased to 12, but the actual maximum number in-game was 11.\n* Fixed an incorrect statement in the tutorial text for the Purgewater tutorial. The text used to state *'Once in this state, their elemental attacks are disabled and they become more vulnerable to Frost and Shock attacks.*' This has been changed to *\030Once in this state, their elemental attacks are disabled and their resistance to all elemental damage and states is reduced.*\031\n* Fixed an issue with Coils and Weaves where mods that are meant to increase impact damage instead increase all damage.\n* Fixed an issue with Coils and Weaves where weaves that grant multiple defense increases show the Plasma Weave icon.\n* Fixed an edge case where pressing the \034throw\035 action for Rocks would perform a Heavy Melee instead. Stealth players, don\031t celebrate too loud, the machines will hear you!\n* Fixed an issue with Hunter Bows where the reload animation plays incorrectly when using Advanced Elemental or Targeting arrows. Players should now be able to fire arrows more rapidly.\n* Fixed an issue with the Carja Wanderer, Nora Sentinel and Nora Tracker armor where resistances would decrease when upgrading them.\n\n**UI/UX**\n\n* Activating a new quest prompt when it shows up in the HUD will now correctly highlight that quest in the Quests tab in the journal.\n* Fixed an issue where trying to access a workbench after selling all weapons would result in an infinite black screen.\n* Action prompts and quest markers can now be hidden in the custom HUD settings.\n\n**Graphics**\n\n* Improved visibility in the underwater section of the Relic Ruins: Isle of Spires.\n* Changed the sort order on some vegetation assets to improve rendering time.\n* Made adjustments to the dynamic resolution system to scale better.\n\n**Performance and Stability**\n\n* Multiple crash fixes.\n* Multiple streaming fixes in game and in cinematics.\n\n**Other**\n\n* Added subtitles for the lyrics of the title song, \034In The Flood\035. Time for a karaoke session!\n* Added a \034Toggle\035 option in the Settings menu for loot actions.\n* Fixed multiple control remapping conflicts.\n* Fixed a default control conflict between Mount Light Attack and Select/Deselect Track while in Focus mode.\n* Fixed an issue where Aloy could become locked in an animation if a Valor Surge was activated while using a zipline.\n* Fixed an issue where killing a hovering Stormbird could sometimes result in its corpse being stuck in a floating position.\n* Fixed an issue where difficulty-related settings could be enabled in difficulty modes that did not allow them.\n* Fixed multiple instances where Aloy could get stuck in geometry.\n* Multiple fixes to Aloy\031s animations.\n* Multiple audio fixes and improvements.\n* Multiple lighting fixes and improvements in cinematics.\n* Multiple fixes and improvements to body and facial animations in cinematics.\n* Multiple fixes and improvements to NPC animations and to NPC props in settlements.\n* Multiple localization fixes and improvements.\n* Multiple other bug fixes.\n\nPlease continue to [inform us of any issues via the Support Form](https://www.playstation.com/en-us/horizon/support/). We kindly ask you use this as your primary form of sending in your issues, the team are unable to use the comments of this post or mentions or DMs on social media as an efficient way of sourcing issues. Thank you for your understanding, and for all the reports sent in already!\n\nTake care out in the wilds,\n\n\\- Guerrilla
## 191 About 8 months ago, I (M27) was hanging out with some friends, and one of them (Jen) had brought along a friend I hadn't met before, Sarah. Sarah and I chatted a bit and she seemed nice enough, and the next day I got a text from her saying she got my number from Jen and asking if I wanted to get dinner some time. I wasn't really interested so I told her I was busy. She asked again hinting that it would be very nice to spend time after dinner, this time I said sorry I'm not interested in a date. After this she sent a few very explicit pictures asking "Still not interested" after which I ghosted her.\n\nThe problem comes from what happened a couple days ago. I was hanging out with friends again. Sarah wasn't there (I had only met her the one time) but Jen was, and so was a college buddy of mine (Mike) I hadn't seen in a while. At one point Sarah's friend turned to Mike and asked how things were going with Sarah. He said things were good and they were going to have their 6 month anniversary next week. I asked if this was the same Sarah who Jen gave my number to and Jen said yes, and then I told Mike, "Bro you know she sent me her nudes." Jen and Mike didn't believe me so I pulled out my phone and scrolled back through my messages and passed my phone around so nobody thought I was lying, and also so they knew they were unsolicited. Jen looked shocked and Mike just went really quiet and got up to leave after a few minutes.\n\nWhen Mike was leaving I caught up with him and apologized for bringing the topic up like that because, let's be honest, it wasn't very tactful. Mike said he just didn't know what to think right now. I apologized again and told him at least now he knows what type of person he's dating, if she sent them to me then who knows who else she sent them to.\n\nThe next day I got a barrage of texts from Jen and Sarah. Apparently, Mike broke up with Sarah. Jen told me I shouldn't have said anything to Mike because it all happened before they met. Sarah accused me of violating her privacy by showing her pictures to other people. I told Jen that Mike deserved to know and I told Sarah that those pictures were not sent with any expectation of privacy and she knew that too which is why she hadn't told Mike.\n\nSarah seems to have blocked me but Jen keeps insisting that I did an asshole thing, so AITA?\n\nEDIT: To answer some common questions:\n\n1. Why did I keep the pics?\n\nI don't delete messages I receive from other people. I didn't specifically store those pictures for "future use".\n\n2. Why did I ruin a 6 month relationship if this happened before they met?\n\nI told Mike the truth and let him make the decision. If he had wanted to stay with her, I have no problem with it. He knows it happened before they met.
## 201 [https://beta.nft.gamestop.com/](https://beta.nft.gamestop.com/)\n\nOpen Dev tools > Click on "Sources" tab. I noted down anything that caught my eye.\n\n\n54.e07ebd1bfc48381990a7.js\n- mentions "crypto" a few times. Lots of minified math.\n\n90.c363869a6b14d6f6bf85.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- not as minified\n- Error message has a spelling mistake: "unavailabel"\n- methods mention crypto related themes. e.g. - getCurrentBlock()\n- references "SubscriptionManager" is this code or app level description?\n- Lots of references to "eth", e.g. 'eth_mining', 'eth_coinbase'\n- Reference to EIPs, e.g. EIP-1474\n\n104.df711e598d7bcbee3df3.js\n- possible source filename 'api.js'?\n- references to 'grammar'. Possible lower level js library?\n- Copyright (c) 2021 Lowell D. Thomas\n- ABNF for JavaScript APG 2.0 SABNF\n- Possible source code: https://github.com/ldthomas/apg-js2\n\n109.5123e22046e41d699b20.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- cypher / decryption / keys\n- encryptBlock()\n- many bitwise operations\n\n125.6a8cb8bf74e9194d3ec0.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- "Unsupported chain id"\n- cached here: https://github.com/NoahZinsmeister/web3-react\n- possible source code: https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:Yk5w0-pnrWsJ:https://beta.quod.ai/github/NoahZinsmeister/web3-react/simple-answer/210/Where-do-we-react-manager-for-web3+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us\n- Code likely written by https://noahzinsmeister.com/\n- "Web3ReactUpdate"\n- "The provider doesn't support subscriptions"\n- "Couldn't decrypt accounts. Password wrong?"\n- ipfs\n\n142.2279b97a90af450ba0d7.js\n- arrays\n- key\n- \031Ethereum Signed Message (I believe the special character is the "End of Medium" char. Hex code x\\16 on ASCII chart)\n\n163.fbf04c56f74d5d55f177.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- Lot of case/switch statements\n- reference to "-webkit-"\n- seems like low level library referencing DOM elements and math\n- character encoding\n- "Invalid cashaddr prefix"\n- "Unrecognised address format"\n- cryptocurrency references (<removed due to automod>)\n- massive JSON payloads\n\n190.5fdcc60bb9507adac505.js\n- "wasm-binary:./blake2b.wat"\n\n316.b82c8f01f25c039da3e5.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- "ComingSoonBg"\n- Background image source: 4d05d53d8204379bd7461794b6227eba.jpg\n\n354.56f781fccb86ff67a881.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- "Invalid bloom given"\n- crypto keys\n- lot of bitwise operations\n- signature import/export\n\n447.dd136fdfab685a7e7583.js\n- mentions 'api'\n- "RTKQ/skipToken"\n- "/resetApiState"\n- mentions serializers\n- many endpoints described in format "/<endpointname>"\n- "requestAnimationFrame"\n\n464.3d3c798ab66ffffc7a22.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- DOM related references\n- Content-Type referenced\n- TLS/SSL cert references\n\n485.925f7a3823a051f5777c.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- refernces to web browser, user-agent strings, and HTTP referrers\n- "https://registry.walletconnect.org"\n- "Scan QR code with a WalletConnect-compatible wallet"\n- language l10n for above text\n\n490.6820d7ee95405e12ca03.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- "node_modules\\/@gamestop\\/nft-lib-citadel"\n- "${CITADEL}"\n- "astronaut", "buy", "comingnow", "mint", "mintbig", "mintinteractive"\n- a lot of embedded css\n- "Search all collectibles"\n- logo of some sort? https://beta.nft.gamestop.com/59f6431fb7359e575f839f4950863eaa.png\n- "DNS name has wrong length"\n\n536.0ac8332d60ad0cdd201b.js\n- "nsign-in-with-ethereum"\n- https://git.io/JUIaE\n- browser regex\n\n685.9facec1aee0cb7bc37d6.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- version 1.2.0\n- source code: https://github.com/crypto-browserify/crypto-browserify\n\n696.c0c6f8b909bab8b21e81.js\n- REST API status code enumerations\n- "not supported with CIDv0, to support different bases, please migrate the instance do CIDv1, you can do that through cid.toV1()"\n- "© 2020 Denis Pushkarev (zloirock.ru)"\n\n725.36519eae33aa7d243a04.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- references to Ethereum test nets\n- "@rollup/plugin-commonjs"\n\n784.7b908c69890293c60a00.js\n- nft_web_store_client\n- lot of ethereum related code\n- large amounts of JSON data, possibly wallet addresses?\n\n802.d890bd618acd7a5450df.js\n- "MANUAL_BANK_TRANSFER", "AUTO_BANK_TRANSFER", "CARD_PAYMENT", "APPLE_PAY"\n- "allow", "microphone;camera"\n- "AnimationEvent"\n- mouse over events, other DOM related events\n- references to react framework\n- "/home/yoan/work/oss/react-paginate/react_components/BreakView.js"\n- __SECRET_INTERNALS_DO_NOT_USE_OR_YOU_WILL_BE_FIRED.ReactCurrentOwner (Lol)\n\n831.efade3f6c2fe0368c387.js\n- Javascript math functions\n\n906.86d600a149820be54b11.js\n- accessibility / aria / DOM\n- signatures / encryption\n\n935.10aaba2ce32f3c71deef.js\n- encoding / hashing\n\n959.00733e9a5b00e6123d39.js\n- api\n- ethereum code\n- "Loopring Protocol"\n- lots of functions (e.g. submitNFTInTransfer())\n- SVG related code\n\nmain.59ef26d66a4cb72881ec.js\n- hosts the code for the NFT marketplace application\n- "Download the GameStop wallet on your Android or IOS device if you haven\031t already"\n- https://support.nft.gamestop.com/ (bad cert & broken URL on port 80 and 443)\n\nruntime.0675d12414b8bc2e302b.js\n- not much other than instantiating the stack
## 211 So I just had to block and delete a now former friend of mine after 4 years of friendship. I planned to come out his way for a short trip that included a concert. I told him one month in advance and then sent a 1 week reminder (I\031m a planner so this is normal for me). At the 1 month notice, he said he\031d clear his schedule and make sure he had nothing going on for the time I was out there. At the one week reminder he said he was free. Of course the night I get out there, he all of a sudden has plans to \030hangout with the fellas\031 but he\031d be over after. He never made it. He got so drunk he had to be escorted home. He texts me the next day apologizing and asking when we could meet up. I told him that I already had plans for the day that I would not alter, but if I had free time, I\031d let him know. He said he\031d drop everything he was doing as soon as I called. I had a friend cancel on me (for a legit verified reason), so I called him. He was getting his oil changed& I had another friend cut our dinner short later on (new mom and scrote husband couldn\031t deal for 45mins without calling her). I called him up and that dude had the nerve to tell me that he was going to the movies and that he\031ll see me after. I told him not to bother because I had an early flight the next morning and I refuse to loose sleep just so you could come over. After midnight he texts and calls asking to come over. I have to be at the airport at 5am. I see these when I wake up and I text him back \030you just really had to see that movie huh? It would\031ve been just as good on Sunday when I wasn\031t here. Hope it was worth it\031. I blocked and deleted him right after. I get off the plane and I\031m bombarded with snap messages and emails. I\031d forgotten about those, so I blocked and deleted them too. All the text previews looked to be apologies, but I don\031t care. He lied and took me for granted. I don\031t need anything like that in my life. Another one bites the dust I guess=<U+0085>. Stay enlightened Queens!\n\nEdit: this was a plutonic friendship. No romantic interest.
## 221 UPDATE 2: sorry I didn't update sooner! So like I said before her car was basically blocking the driveway and I had to park on the street. Anyway when I got up for work the next day it was still there but when I came home it had gone. I asked my SO as he was at home and apparently a tow truck came and took it away. I'm still not sure which neighbour called the tow truck but I have a suspicion its the one she was arguing with. SO said she has been quiet all day only the odd footsteps.\n\n\n\nUPDATE: I got home from work and she has parked her second car in the visitor spot but she's parked it so badly it's blocking the driveway in. Right now I'm parked on the street but too tired to deal with her.\n\n\n\nSo I guess this is an update to my last post, I had a lot of people ask me to post if she did anything else.\n\nThis is also currently happening and my SO is witnessing it and texting me as I'm at work.\n\nSo if you missed my last post I had a new neighbour move into my building and she left notes on everyone's doors saying she had brought the building and gave us insane rules to follow (she does not own the building but only a unit or apartment, jury is still out if she is insane or stupid). \n\nShe has been quiet for the last few days and I thought maybe that's it? Apparently I was wrong. So each unit in our building is allocated ONE parking space. Just one. I park in mine and my SO parks his car on the street on the other side of the building. Our parking lot had one visitor space (its a very small parking lot 6 spots for residents and 1 visitor). The visitor spot is nearly always empty and my neighbours have said my SO could park his car there if he wanted as we are the only unit with 2 cars but he doesn't mind parking where he is.\n\nThis morning my SO woke up to yelling. Our kitchen window overlooks the parking lot and he snuck a peak out the window and saw entitled neighbour standing next to our nice neighbour's car and they were arguing loudly. She kept yellinug that she had a second car and needed to park in his spot and he had to move his car or else she would have it towed. He kept repeating that it was his parking spot and she could either park it in the visitor spot or on the street and if she towed his car he would report it stolen. \n\nSO said she kept yelling she can park where she wants and he needed to move it or else so my SO decided to park his car in my empty spot in case she tried to park there while I'm at work. Last message he sent me she has stormed upstairs in a huff and slammed her door.
## 231 [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/comment/cgbhkwp/) by u/noahthered\n\nIt's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?\n\nI thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.\n\nI decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.\n\nSo here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:\n\n* Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.\n* Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.\n* Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.\n* Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice\n* Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.\n* Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.\n* Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.\n* Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)\n* Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game\n* Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.\n* Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.\n* Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.\n* Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.\n* Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.\n* Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.\n* Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.\n* Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address\n* Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.\n* Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.\n* Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin\n* Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.\n* Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.\n\nRelevant comments \n\n>Commentator: I have to ask... was he popular with the girls? \n> \n> \n> \n>OP: Was like watching a greased up orangutan try to climb a water slide.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>OP: Haha, that was actually one of my favorites too because of how I found it out. We were doing an assignment on personification and I had people describe their pets using it. (Welcome to America, where we teach personification in high school, I know). Kevin didn't have any pets but he said his neighbor had a cat he played with sometimes. He listed off like 3 or 4 things and it became really apparent that he was describing a dog. At first I thought that maybe he just had trouble figuring out the right way to say it, but after 2 or 3 more sentences, it was abundantly clear that this was a really big dog. Someone else who lived on the same street put 2 and 2 together as well and said "Kevin, that's not a cat. That's so-and-so's black lab." Kevin was absolutely floored that A. someone else lived on his street and B. that there was a difference between a black lab and a house cat. Like, I am only guessing, but I think to him...dog and cat were as interchangeable terms as Hat and Cap. \n> \n>You train and prepare as a teacher to try and find ways to redirect embarrassing situations like a student being REALLY wrong in public, but I was at a loss for how to move on from there.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>About Kevin tasing himself \n> \n>OP: I wasn't at the game, but my instructional lead texted me that night with a picture of Kevin sitting on the tailgate of an ambulance surrounded by security and just the words "Isn't he one of yours?" He was mostly fine, but it looked like he had been bitten by a vampire that wore socks on the carpet too much. No one knows where he got the taser or what happened to it.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>OP: That was the hardest pill to swallow. Despite numerous tests and assessments and meetings and just overall study, no one could ever say he had any kind of learning disability. No IEP. No 504. No special file. No case worker or advocate. Just, Kevin, his mom, his dad, and zero brain matter.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>OP: He was in a class with two other knuckleheads, but both of them were the "Too smart to do any work" types so they were more of a problem than Kevin. Both of them had 504s and I had 11 or 12 kids with IEPs in there, so I had a collaborative to split the effort with. 4th period with Kevin could go one of two ways: Either he'd do something so incredibly stupid within the first 10 minutes that he'd be gone most of class, or he'd just kind of simmer for the whole period and get everything wrong but not cause problems. So honestly, his behavior problems didn't get to me too much. \n> \n>Really, I waited for every other monday so I could find out what new and stupid thing he or his family did.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>OP: I'm pretty sure his mother was some kind of physical therapist. His dad? No idea. I only met him a few times, but he always wore a pretty nice suit or at least business casual. They both drove decently new cars and his house was in a nice subdivision. I'm assuming that for what they lacked in common sense, they made up for in some kind of specialized knowledge. For all I know, his dad could have been a brilliant plastic surgeon....but an idiot in every other regard. They were both nice people.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[Update taken from here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tyyl2x/comment/i3vz1mq/)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[https://picbun.com/p/3h9KBN7p](https://picbun.com/p/3h9KBN7p)\n\nKevin is doing pretty well. We are actually coming up on about 10 years since I had Kevin as a student. He's since graduated on time, gotten married and has a house. He works as a sous chef at a fairly high end restaurant here in town and IIRC, he's taken some CC classes which leads me to believe he might be looking at going out on his own career wise.\n\nI think that largely he just grew out of his immaturity/stupidity as most kids eventually do and perhaps having a kid in his teens sobered him up.\n\n&#x200B;\n#Reminder: I am not the original OP.
## 241 Good morning everyone, \n\nI hope that you are all doing well. TW: DV. This is essentially an update as last year I asked this subreddit regarding making a report on domestic violence. You were all kind and I really appreciate it. It was on an account that I deleted as I remembered my ex knew my Reddit account. \n\nLast year I had my mother\031s friend help me move out, my ex was emailing me asking where I was and how could I just up and leave him when I know he couldn\031t pay for things. I didn\031t respond and then he emailed my work. He then sent more emails saying I ruined his renting life by claiming DV and kept telling me to go back to the house and clean more things up. \n\nWhile this all happened, I was in the process with legal aid to file for a restraining order. It was granted and legal aid were going to be my lawyers but I had people tell me not to use legal aid and I went with a different lawyer. I should have stayed with legal aid. My lawyer told me he would get my ex to agree to a Conduct Agreement and would get him to sign on two years. He comes out stating my ex would only sign to one year and that it is okay because, \034He seems like a dickhead who will leave you alone.\035 I filed the FVRO in June and had court hearing in October. \n\nDuring this time I reported my ex to the police. I made the first statement with how my ex shoved me down on glass during an argument. I provided medical records and images and text messages of him apologising for what he did. They then told me I can do the other statements once they pass the case to the relevant station and would get a call that week. \n\nI didn\031t receive a call and waited as I anticipated they would be busy. I eventually called up and they mentioned that they\031ve handed the case to another station and gave me the number. I called that station up and they told me they were sending the case back to the other station. This back and forth happened for a bit before eventually one station took the case. \n\nI had a female detective. We went through my statements (ex used to strangle me, punch me, threatened me with a crowbar scissors and a loaded rifle with the safety undone to my face). I had to recall everything, every little detail. I provided evidence such as images, names of witnesses, calendar entries, text messages, video and voice messages. They told me they would download my phone. The statement took a while but we got to the end of it all, they tried to download my phone but it didn\031t work. Told me they would contact me to reschedule. \n\nI reached out to them with my availability. Didn\031t hear back for a few weeks so I reached out again. And then a month later I have been informed that my detective went on leave and a new detective would work on the case. \n\nI was told that they are busy with other investigations but would still work on mine. I had been advised that there were corroborating evidence that they were waiting results for. I asked about if my witnesses would be spoken with, as the last detective told me she was contacting them. I was told that was still in the process. \n\nThis year I get an apology that it\031s taken time. Three months later, this week, I get informed that my ex would be arrested and interviewed. Yesterday, I was told that they let my ex go without charges as he admitted to arguments but not to being physical and as there were no witnesses and have little corroborating evidence to them, the court would see it as word to word and there has been what the courts would see as a plausible defence. \n\nI am just tired and disheartened by the whole situation. But as I am looking at positives, at least I can now close this chapter of my life. \n\nTake care everyone.\n\nEDIT: I wanted to thank everyone for the support and kind words. It breaks my heart to know that other people have experienced the same thing. I am not out here trying to cause any dramas, I am just sharing my experience. \n\nIt was a battle with myself to make the report to the police in the first place as first, I thought they wouldn\031t believe me (my ex used to get nail marks on him when he\031d strangle me as I\031d tried to fight him off me. He would say, \034No one would ever believe you. Who has the marks. Me or you?\035 Secondly, I was still thinking about my ex and the \034What if he does get charged and I just affected his life.\035
## 251 tl;dr \n\nI received my 64GB Steam Deck 10 days ago and its been a blast :D Its a great piece of hardware and I love it already ...\n\n(**New Games added 04.04.2022**)\n\n[Happy Birthday Deck ](https://preview.redd.it/9j6nmnuvoar81.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e95f341504912130d31c01dc1ab2c100c5355edb)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n* The Steam Deck feels very well, for me personally it is not too heavy and not too light, well balanced, solid and well made.\n* The fan is audible, but in my case not really loud and also not at an unpleasant frequency. Totally fine.\n* The Display (64GB Version) is really good for what it is, overall graphics are nice to look at, good dark representation but colours could be a bit more punchy at times, maybe if Valve would add a possibility in the future to adjust the screen colours etc. would be nice. It reflects clearly if you have a black background, but it is no longer noticeable inGame most of the time.\n* Setup went quick and flawless, first some software update and then bios. I had to initiate the Bios update myself via the menu.\n* WLAN had fairly low bandwidth (6.5 MB/s) although I generally have 1000Mbit at home and normally WIFI works well. Obviously you need to be closer to the router, which solved my DL issue and I got full speed (downloading in the living room next to the router :D)\n* SD card recognized and formatted directly. I bought an 512GB Samsung Evo Select which performs really well. So far there was no moment I was thinking about too long load times tbh. I installed all Games on it to keep the space on the 64GB internal for all the Proton Versions and Linux Runtime etc.\n* Controller, buttons, trackpad are all easy to use, klick and feel good.\n* The sound is surprisingly good over the speakers. I used them for some time now and they deliver quite well, was enjoying playing Dead Space via the Speakers or Bluetooth earpieces\n* After some very long sessions i could feel my hands are getting a bit tired, but in this case it was not the best position.\n* Controls are spot on, nothing to complain, sticks are great and the trackpads are useful imho\n* SteamOS works great most of the time, had some smaller crashes in the beginning but they had been Game related (KotoR)\n* The Quick Access Menu (QAM) is an amazing and needed tool to quickly adjust power consumption to your needs. I would like to have the possibility to create configs per game to be loaded automatically or being able to chose when I start the game.\n* Gamescope really helps a lot on keeping track of FPS, battery consumption etc.\n* I love to just be able to jump into a game, even if its for half an hour, pause it (sleep mode) and just play later another session on the couch. Or in a break between meetings ;)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nGames I installed and tested are listed below. Basically I was just switching between 30 or 60 FPS, brightness was around 60% ... no big config ingame on graphics etc. no use of FSR or TDP Limits (yet). In general I was positively surprised that almost all Games I tested worked quite well or without any issues. I haven´t noted the battery life for all of the games, will update when I check again. For sure there is a lot of potential to optimize in terms of battery life.**(edit 03.04. : added some Games / Arkham Aslylum updated with fix)**\n\n&#x200B;\n\n* **Dead Cells** runs as smooth as expected and is super easy to control, I just played for half an hour ayfter installing because I was totally hooked. Running at 60FPS 5-6 hours are easy. Very cool\n* **Cloudpunk** also ran well, it is more demanding as far as the battery is concerned, but I didn't change anything other than the limit of 30 / 60 FPS. Roughly 2h - 2.5h playtime.\n* **Baldurs Gate I** works out of the box quite well and it´ is a mix of touchpad / touchscreen / sticks .. so you can choose what fits the best. Text is readable and the more tactical fights also help. Full charge will last 5-6hs minimum.\n* **Bastion** works very well, 'I just had to change the controller layout as the initial one just didnt work, no response from any button etc. but after that I runs like a charm, plays well and looks great. On full charge I would say roughly 6h playtime.\n* **Batman Arkham Asylum** .. this works perfectly with the Proton GE fix at 60FPS 4h+ and looks amazing on Deck (description is from a user on youtube, not mine but works like a charm . thx Velgus) :\n\n1. Go to Desktop Mode\n2. Open the Discover app\n3. Install ProtonUp-QT and launch it\n4. Select "Add version" and choose to install the desired version of GE (the latest, which is 7.9 at the time of writing this)\n5. Back in "Gaming Mode", set games you want to use it on by opening their properties (from the cog icon to the right when you select a game), and going to the "Compatibility" tab\n\n* **Bayonetta** runs out of the box, looks amazing and plays very well. Crazy action and 60 FPS are absolutely recommended. 4h battery life.\n* **Bioshock Remastered** runs perfectly out of the box, looks amazing and very smooth. 60FPS is amazing but also with 30 FPS it plays very well. 4-5h playtime for sure.\n* **Chasm** is an indie rougelite, great pixel look and plays very well. 6h+\n* **Dead Island Riptide Definitive Editon** .. its verified and works well and absolutely playable, better on 60FPS. Its quite demaning on the battery and I suppose 2h are max. on 60FPS (without tinkering options) .. 30 FPS works ok and gives much more battery life. 3h or so.\n* **Dead Space** .. this runs very well on 60 FPS. It looks amazing on Deck and I played already until Chapter 6 .. like 8-9h in the game and it has been a great experience. Will be the first game I complete on the Deck. 5h+ on 60FPS .. amazing.\n* **Delver** .. another Rougelite .. in general it starts and looks great on deck, but i had issues with the controller layout that didnt work out well. I found some community layout that works but there is some config needed. Besides that, its fine.\n* **Dirt Rally** .. runs great, great graphics and its really difficult. Quite demanding on 60 FPS .. which you need in my opinion. Can´t remember runtime but I guess 2-3hs.\n* **Skyrim** ...what can I say .. it works. Its Skyrim. It looks amazing on Deck and runs smoothly .. It was directly loading all the workshop mods i had subsribed on Steam (17) and everything just works. What a time to be alive 8-) At 60 FPS it is draining the battery (2h max.) but it also runs at 30 FPS playable which will give around 4h+ .. not bad.\n* **Fable Anniversary** is verified and works right out of the box. Its also very nice on Deck, with 30 FPS activated its 4.5h playtime and runs ok. 60 FPS is much better, but cuts battery life to 2.5h max. with high/ultra settings.\n* **Fallout 3** ... according to Steam its not supported .. but it runs very well and started directly without problems. At least the prologue was perfectly playable with 60 FPS everything cranked up and 4.5h battery life. I will definitely play this !\n* **Frostpunk** . works, nice graphics in general but the text in some ares is a bit too small and subgoals are on the edge to be readable. It is playable but I would say better on a big monitor with mouse etc. Roughly 3h on 30 FPS limit.\n* **Ghostbusters - The Video Game** .. it starts, looks amazing but I couldn´t get the controls working ingame. It loads, cutscene everything fine but then I´m ingame and can´t move. Need to investigate .. but definitely something I want to play on Deck.\n* **Grand Theft Auto San Andreas** .. works fine with high settings and 60 FPS I just had to change the control settings to controller and you are good to go. 5h playtime.\n* **Graveyard Keeper** .. runs flawless out of the box and looks nice on Deck. Its verified.\n* **HalfLife 2** .. its verified and runs flawless at 60FPS and its ... its Halflife in full glory on a handheld ?!? 5h battery life\n* **Hotline Miami** .. again verified. I need to get used to the controls but its just nice with the pumping score.\n* **Journey to the Savage Planet** .. again an verified Game, Graphic fit perfect for the Deck. 60 FPS on default settings was very demanding, 1.5h battery life .. 30 FPS runs well and gives you 3h roughly.\n* **Left 4 Dead 2** it runs of course well, as it is verfied. I had problems with the sensitivity of the sticks which was to high for my liking, resulting in overcompensating. Need to tweak this.\n* **Limbo** is just very gorgeous with his reduced style .. fits great on deck.\n* **The Long Dark** .. it works also very well out of the box, also here the reduced graphic looks great on the Deck. Controls on default also had been a bit too sensitive and needs adjustment.\n* **Metal Gear Solid - Ground Zeroes** .. works pretty great, graphics are amazing and here the controlls work like they should. very nice on 60 FPS was also relatively easy on the battery\n* **Owlboy ..** it just didnt start \\^\\^ I loaded Proton Experimental and it produced another error. No solution yet.\n* **Sable ..** again a Game with an reduced art style, which is a great fit for the Decks smaller screen. It just looks great and also handling is very good. Also not very demanding on battery.\n* **Shadowrun Returns ..** it runs directly, text is ok to read (there is a lot of text) .. controls are something to get used too. I had just checked very briefly, but I want to play it on Deck so another test is planned.\n* **S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow of Chernobyl** .. I was surprised how well it ran, handling was also in general surprisingly good ingame, but in the menu you have to use the trackpads which is not directly intuitive. There was an issue with changing weapon ingame. Need to look closer into adjusting controls. I really love Stalker and to be able to play this on a mobile device is just amazing for me. 60 FPS will grant you 3h playtime with high settings. Not bad.\n* **Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic** ..it worked but was not very good in handling. Also it crashed my Deck completely and I had to turn it off and restart to get it working again. Needs some investigation or just patience until its fixed.\n* **Stardew Valley ..** it just looks sweet and runs perfectly. So cute :)\n* **State of Decay ...** is running quite well, controls work out of the box and on highest graphic settings with 30 FPS its good playble, roughly 2.5-3h .. on 60FPS its very demanding an its down to 1.5h max. on high settings.\n* **Titan Quest Anniversary Edition** .. its a great Action RPG in my opinion which was a bit overlooked. It works greatly on Deck, still very nice graphic and great gameplay. Controls are also good. Text is readable but quite small in parts. 5h+ at 30FPS, 3.5h at 60FPS\n* **Torchlight** another nice Action RPG in Diablos Tradition, the graphic style also suits very well to the Deck and smaller screen.\n* **The Last Remnant** .. JRPG that runs very well and looks good. 30 FPS are perfectly playable and reward you with approx. 5h playtime. 60 FPS around 4h.\n* **The Walking Dead (Telltale)** .. never had a full playthrough on PC, but I think its a great fit for the deck. It looks great on the smaller screen, handling is also totally fine and its not very demanding to the battery. I plan to have a full playthrough this time .. on Deck. Runtime at 60FPS is 5.5h+\n* **Valheim** .. it just works and runs well (verified) but I had an issue with my cloud save, therefore I didnt play a lot.\n* **Valves Deskjob** is really funny and perfectly designed for the Deck (obviously) .. fun experience in the Aperture Universe. I played roughly 15 Minutes and will finish it for sure. I just had to test so much other stuff.\n\n**New Games added 03.04.**\n\n* **Dirt Showdown** runs with Proton 7.0-1. There is an issue at the beginning to enter the name of your driver, as the keyboard is in front of the window to enter the name so you cant see what you type, also it doesnt register all input resulting in weird names :D Besides that, the Game itself runs perfectly well, 60 FPS and 3h+ on highest settings. Much room for adjusting. Its fun to crash the other cars in the arena.\n* **Project Cars** runs out of the box and looks amazing. It handles well at 30FPS with moderate power consumption 3.5h .. at 60 FPS its very smooth but much more demanding and down to 2h - 2.5h.\n* **Flatout Ultimate Carnage** didnt start .. .I tried Proton Experimental and 7.0-1 .. just nothing. I saw that with downloading a .dll and add it to the Flatout folder on the Deck it works .. might try it eventually.\n\n**New Games added 04.04.**\n\n* **Dirt 3 Complete Edition** .. runs perfectly well at 60FPS (4h+ playtime) out of the box. Looks fantastic, fast paced, perfect controls .. I had a blast driving a few rounds in Aspen !\n* **Resident Evil 6** .. Graphics are really good on Deck, everything maxed out and at 60FPS = 3.5h .. at 30FPS = almost 5h. Coming from console, controls are perfectly fine. Doesnt fell much different at 30 FPS.\n* **Legend of Grimrock** .. a Dungeon Crawler (modern Dungeon Master) which runs on highest settings with 30FPS (5h+) and fits very well on the Deck. Controls are quite intuitive because you (but dont have to) use touchscreen to switch levers or take torches from the wall etc. The only thing was that I felt the sticks are a bit too sensitive because sometimes I was doing an turn without wanting too. But this can be adjusted. \n* **Everspace** .. Space Shooter that runs out of the box on Epic settings with 60FPS which looks & feels great, very good controls but at this settings its demanding and just below 2h. At 30FPS with same epic settings it still very well playable and you have 3.5h easily. Playing with medium settings = 60FPS / 3h+ and 30 FPS / 4.5h \n* **Sid Meyer's Civilization V** .. This performs very well and is surprisingly good to handle. Text is just good enough readable, a little bit smaller and it would be an issue. I think this is really playable, as controls are working as combination of mouse (right trackpad) and controller & buttons. 5.5h+ runtime on 30 FPS (60FPS not needed really but still 5h) I had an weird issue when shutting down the game, the music would still play and its not fully closed. \n* **Metal Slug 3** .. Old school Arcade Run&Gun :D Works well, buttons are a bit strangely mapped but you adjust quickly (or change it). OMG its so difficult :D 5-6h playtime. \n* **The Forest** .. Survival Horror. It runs also good. On Default with 60FPS it was quite demanding for some reason (below 2h) but I managed with max. settings and 30 FPS (feels fluid) to achieve 3.5h+\n* **Dorfromantik** .. a nice relaxing indie game that controls & runs perfectly well at 60FPS with 4h+ . It works well with 30FPS, but its a little bit choppy when turning the overview left and right. 5h+ \n\nIf you have any questions regarding the games or have some requests, I can see if I own the game and test it !
## 261 Im a 25f and to start this out I\031m married, been with my 30m husband for a few years now. He\031s my best friend and I got really lucky. I had to move out of state to be with him though so I am not in contact with my family near as much as I should be. My dad who is a 66m is extremely overprotective due to my last relationship before my husband being abusive in every sense of the word. It ended when my ex broke my jaw about four years ago. He tends to search our whole families names on weird dark websites and things since then because my ex boyfriend like to make revenge posts on things like Craigslist. He just likes to keep an eye out on all of us now. I\031m the middle child of seven by the way. So it\031s no longer just me he searches. He likes to keep us all safe including my 40 yr old twin sisters who long since have needed that. \n\nMy 25 birthday was last week. Due to having a large family and a narcissistic mother I tended to treat it like any normal day. Plus my younger brothers birthday is literally four days before so we tended to have to do join celebrations as kids. My mother babied him and stated numerous times I didn\031t deserve my own day. This is my first married birthday so my husband refused to let me ignore it. He spoiled me rotten. Took me on a date to the movies and my favorite restaurant, bought me geeky gifts he knew I\031d like. Even woke me up with French toast since he knew it\031s my favorite. Also had his son(my step son who is 10) help him bring in my cake and sing to me. Needless to say it was more than I ever could have hoped for. I was in happy tears throughout the day. That is until I realized I should check my email to see if my family and friends sent me anything.\n\nAround ten pm on my birthday I was scrolling through typical memes and cheesy cat pic online card birthday wishes. Couldn\031t stop smiling. Then I notice a email from my dad \034-Glitter- we have a problem\035 I felt instant dread but had to click the header. In it my dad wishes me a happy birthday, asks me to send pics of anything we\031d done and expressed wanting to visit soon. The second paragraph left me stunned and sick however.\n\nIn it my dad explains he\031d put a search out on all our families names when mine pinged a website that had a username listed. He said he didn\031t wanna accuse me of anything if my husband and I needed the money that bad. States he\031d offer to help us out financially should we need it. But it didn\031t sound like something I\031d do so he clicked it prepared to contact our family lawyer should my ex(28m) be posting revenge porn of some kind. My blood ran cold. To be honest I\031m kinda shy, my ex told me I was ugly constantly and would never feel comfortable taking those kinds pics for anyone other than my husband(which I did do when we were long distance for a while. We had to use FaceTime and texts to stay intimate) so my first thought was \034oh shit were we hacked??\035 \n\nMy dad says he was floored when the link loaded. It was my 58f mother using my full maiden name and birthdate only the year was different to reflect her actual age. She was using my identity to sell porn photos, have hook ups she could record for money and later sell online to clients. She was even selling used panties. All under MY birth given name. \n\nI\031m still in shock and unsure how to proceed in handling this. I don\031t know if I should confront her, I don\031t know if I should inform my husband since this is absolutely humiliating and if someone searches my legal birth name they could find. I\031m confused, hurt and disgusted. \n\nI should add this is NOT the first time she used my name. When I moved out at 16 due to her mental and physical abuse I found it hard to find a place to live or get any sort of utility since surprise surprise she used my info to rack up debt. At 16 I had more debt than a 60 year old filing for bankruptcy. It took months for me to prove her accounts weren\031t mine since I was literally a dang child. Jobs wouldn\031t hire me at first till I proved I wasn\031t the one in court for certain things as well since she would get arrested and use a fake ID with my info. She was arrested numerous times on drunk and disorderly as well as possession under my name in several states. I had to confront her and do years of therapy to work through that abuse of my identity. We have yet to get past the abuse that made me move out since she refuses to admit she did those things.\n\nI\031m so beyond hurt at this point. I don\031t understand what I did to her personally to warrant her constant abuse of my identity to hide her own. The fact she thinks it\031s ok to do this to her child is disgusting. It has at least reaffirmed two things for me. The fact I cut contact soon as my husband proposed and refused to give her my new contact info was correct. Second that I have the best dad in the world. He helped get me away from my ex and is still trying to protect us all now. Had he not been this overprotective I could have never known about this disgusting issue under my name. \n\nThank you for taking the time to read and any advice y\031all might have would be a great help. I haven\031t been able to sleep well, stop crying randomly or even function knowing this is going on. I\031m left with the questions of why and for how long she\031s done this. I\031m heartbroken.
## 271 I (34f) am married with two kids in my own home, my mom (64f) watches them for me when I work part time. \n\nBackground: For as long as I can remember my parents were never shy about sharing medications. I always hated it. I am accident prone, but I can\031t handle pain medication without getting Sick, so I usually just suffer and collect my medication to save for \034 an Emergency\035. But my mom has been asking me for more and more pain pills like Vicodin ect. And it\031s either your dad needs more or she does or my grandma. My husband at first would give her one or two of our collected pills. Just to shut her up. But now I\031m pretty sure she\031s addicted and takes mine to replace my dads or grandmas supply after she steals from them. I don\031t have evidence of that though just suspect. \n\nWell I hurt my knee recently and got some good stuff prescribed I didn\031t take one once I got home cause I\031d rather feel pain than puke. But with the state of the world I\031ll hoard pills to trade for necessities in the event of a huge war. Anyway. My mom suddenly stopped asking for pills. So my paranoid brain asks my husband why she stopped finally asking. He goes to check the new bottle and it\031s 4 short. We have kids so we do keep tract of all medication coming in the house. \n\nI decided to hide them. She won\031t find them . But she has been going through our stuff when she watches the kids. She\031s now embarassed me by telling me I\031m horrible for having adult toys.. that\031s in a cabinet in my closet she shouldn\031t be in that the kids couldn\031t reach. And old hentai books from my college days that were in a chest full of other racy pictures I have of myself& another thing kids can\031t reach. I asked her how she found them and she said she was \034cleaning up\035. And I should be great full for her help keeping the house clean?!?\n\nShe finally asked again if she could have some pain pills for my grandma cause her bladder is bothering her. I said I don\031t have anymore. And dropped it but my grandma was just in the hospital for her bladder so she should have had a prescription if she needed it. \n\nSo aita?\n\nUpdate: listen I\031m just realizing now and I\031m hearing you but telling me to just suddenly stop getting help from her for child care a few times isn\031t something I can just stop. Give me options I don\031t have extra money I have just enough. My hoarding which I know is an issue is litterally only two bottles from the last year. Because I moved states and didn\031t want to bring a lot of things with me. I do have my own issues which I am seeing a therapist for. I have given her some meds before when I lived in another state since her insurance didn\031t go into another state and she needed stuff for a uti for the trip home. It wasn\031t a lot. I have refused since moving here. Again I never suspected till now not once and I never had pills go missing before. So it is fresh for me. Sorry I can just jump the gun and have learned to not over react which is an issue I have with many things. Which is why I asked.\n\nI don\031t work a lot and mostly when my husband is home from his job. I confronted her in a text. She responded blaming me for everything else and that it\031s my fault I lost pills but she still didn\031t admit it. So I know. Some lovely people who were kind and actually gave helpful advice got me where I needed to learn. \n\nI was very suicidal before moving and getting a job ehh h my therapist suggested I do. I am not a good mom if I am sucidal obviously Im not perfect im so happy many of you are. Im doing my best and trying to come to terms. I never would have posted if I was sure she was an addict I wasn\031t maybe I missed the signs but I didn\031t even know what to see. Growing up poor is really hard to realize bad from good from right from wrong from gray. But I\031m learning. \n\nBut I really love my job. I can\031t function being a sahm currently 24/7. Im working on so many things and this is super stressful so im just going to keep trying. Figuring out what to do. How to afford child care. \n\nBut my paycheck does help with keeping food on the table right now. My oldest is in school but I homeschool the youngest because her allergy is to bad to be in a public school full of kids who couldn\031t care less about what most ppl think is just a tummy ache.\n\nSo I can\031t leave them with after school stuff since she doesn\031t go. I\031ve put everything on hold but I was close to the edge and finally am finding my way off to a whole new edge that I don\031t know how to navigate. I wish I was as perceptive as some of you. Again it was a suspected. I do not and have never given any actual pain pills to anyone. The pill the makes you pee orange yes, cause she needed to make it home. To get her own. It really wasn\031t until we moved here and the last couple of months she has been hounding me for pills. \n\nI know I\031m rambling but I feel like I\031m just an idiot now and maybe should have never tried to be better myself since now I have a whole new problem I\031m not equips to deal with. \n\nSo new question am I am ass hole for not realizing she is an addict. When I\031ve never known one before to know what to look for?
## 281 Hello!\n\nI'm a Growth Marketing Manager at the startup [Mine](https://www.producthunt.com/posts/mine-for-teams). Product Hunt is our "natural habitat" :) Our first product won **1# of the Day**, **1# of the Week**, and **2# of the Month** two years ago, and now we're doing it again.\n\nBased on my experience, here are a few lesser-known tips & best practices for launching on Product Hunt:\n\n1. **Never launch at 00:01** \024 you should always launch at 00:10 or 00:15. Why? Because luck plays a huge role in Product Hunt success. There is no telling when Spotify, Amazon, Google, or Shopify will launch a new feature that day (they can crush any other launch thanks to their existing audience). That's why you must take 10 minutes to review the day's launches, and only if there isn't a major brand launching can you launch yourself.\n2. **Plan your day like the greatest launchers** \024 make a plan for each moment of your launch day. [Here's a great example](https://airtable.com/shrw7rL3Ke6yEUxeF/tblHzJFmNkygWbZXL) of such 24-hours plan from a startup called Amy, and we created something very similar to our own.\n3. **Name & tagline must be ridiculously short** \024 I know, I know. You want to explain everything about your new product. But the more words you write, the less impact you'll get. Research shows people respond better to shorter words and sentences, and since people discovering products on PH see dozens of products, it's important to stand out and create a message that's super-short and clear.\n4. **Create a mute-ready video** \024 Product Hunt auto-plays videos without sound. Therefore, it is crucial that the first few seconds include big text / captions. I saw so many startups creating beautiful videos to waste, just because the sound was an important element in the first few secs!\n5. **Don't forget the "GET IT" button** \024 when you ask your friends & family to support your launch, you must also ask them to click on the "GET IT" button on Product Hunt. The reason is that PH wants to know that people actually visit the product before creating a buzz around it (part of their fake detection algorithm). So don't forget to ask your fans to click on the button before upvoting!\n6. **Engage with everyone** \024 I sometimes see startups that launch products, bring all their network to upvote and comment, and don't reply to the comments. Huge mistake! You should reply to all comments immediately. The algorithm rewards products with a high number of comments.\n7. **Get a famous hunter** \024 It's easy to say "meh, I'll just hunt myself or ask one of my friends" but NO! You'll gain a huge impact from big-name hunters. Most of them have thousands of followers, and they will all get notified once you launch. It's better for your brand, too :-) These hunters are mostly very nice and cooperative when you just ask them to hunt you. [Here's a list of the top hunters you can approach](https://upvote-bell.com/).\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThat's it! Let me know if you have any questions.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nP.S. if you'd like to support our new launch today, I will be forever grateful :) Here's the link to our Product Hunt page: [https://www.producthunt.com/posts/mine-for-teams](https://www.producthunt.com/posts/mine-for-teams)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\\- Tom
## 291 My (24M) partner of 4 years (29M) proposed to me this weekend. On Friday. Which was our four year anniversary.\n\nIt couldn't have been more sweet and personal. My partner had gone behind my back and commissioned an artist I know to draw something special for the occasion. My and my partner both play Magic: The Gathering. So Friday evening after work, we were gearing up to play at our local game store.\n\nMy phone buzzes. It's a message from my partner. Just says <Image>. I go to open my phone and I see it. It was personal and cute and left my head spinning trying to make sense of it. It was artwork of, well, an OC of mine that's very personal to me, getting proposed to.\n\nI look over at my partner, he's smiling like an idiot, and gets down on one knee. I'm rambling "wait... waitwaitwait what" and laughing with tears in my eyes.\n\n"OP... will you marry me"\n\nI must have paused too long in shock or something because after what felt like only a moment of nervous laughter and holding back tears he said "well?"\n\nOf course, I said yes. I was just totally 100% *not* expecting this. We had talked about it several times over the past year or so.\n\nFast forward.\n\nIt's evening, around 12:30AM. I made the difficult decision to call my mother and tell her. I knew she'd be happy for me and kill me if I didn't tell her that evening. But I texted her first to make sure she was awake and she said yes. I also knew there was a chance she'd start crying on the phone, as she does, with any inking of "tears of joy". Because she cried at my college graduation, and she cried at my highschool graduation.\n\nPart of my also dreaded the flurry of questions I was anticipating. So before we get there, a touch of background.\n\nI've been dying to move out of my mother's house for years now. I graduated college in December of 2019. Covid happened, my mom stopped working as much as a substitute teacher, and I had to step up and "contribute to the cause" as she put it, and help her financially. So I couldn't move out. I was also paid peanuts at my first job out of college.\n\nFast forward. Every time the topic of me possibly moving out comes up. She cries. Because she doesn't like change. Doesn't want her baby to leave her. While simultaneously saying she doesn't mind and loves me and is happy for me. I can't breathe a word about "moving" without waterworks. But it's more than empty nest. It's guilt trips. I'm paraphrasing but what comes out of her mouth lately has been something akin to "if you move out, I won't be able to afford to live in the house anymore. I'll have to get rid of the cat (MY 21 year old cat) and the dog. I might end up homeless. Or have to move into a housing authority" Our 9 year old sweet but pain in the ass dog that is, if I'm being honest, mostly hers because of how his attachments are.\n\nI've told her she's guilt tripping me before. She said "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I just need you to know the facts."\n\nI'm essentially her free therapist, her emotional support animal, etc. Because she's divorced, about to turn 62, and doesn't have any friends except one of her 3 sisters.\n\nAlright. Back to now.\n\nI called her, and told her the news. She said she was happy for me, that she loves my partner, that she's getting a second son, etc. "Okay, good so far." I thought to myself. But nope. She said "I guess that means you'll be moving out"\n\nI nip it in the bud there. I'm not doing it that night. I refuse. I said "Can we not talk about that stuff right now please?" I say. She backed off. I know exactly where that conversation would go. She wants my partner to move in with me and her. She's said it before. She tries to spin it as "you'll be able to save more if you don't pay rent" yet somehow doesn't consider the 800+ (at this point with other bills she asks for help with throughout the month, it's over 1000) I end up giving her every month to "help the cause" rent.\n\nFast forward again. I spend the weekend with my partner. We had planned to do so. He and his family moved to my state a couple years ago and he's in a similar situation. Stuck with a narcissistic parent. He hasn't been able to save money to move out himself either because of her sporadic working capabilities and depends on him for support. Not to mention. She's saddled him with 10k in credit card debt that "she had to do to keep the family afloat"\n\nWe enjoy the weekend, we go to an aquarium, I leave for home Sunday. Today. Picked up dinner on the way back, something my mom really likes.\n\nI get home. I'm expecting a flurry of questions and drama. Nothing. She didn't even mention it. Not one word. Only an "I'm happy for you".\n\nWeird, but better than what I was expecting.\n\nAfter dinner, and I'm getting ready for bed. She does start asking questions. How he proposed. Where he did it. Etc. I said how he proposed in the game store we were at and she said "Romantic." half jokingly, which I kinda resent even though it was in jest.\n\nThen we get to it. "So when are you going to move out" I try to play it off. My partner had said hopefully within the next few months. But if I said that, it wouldn't have just contributed.\n\nI'm in damage control mode. Trying to deflect and change the subject. Nope.\n\nI end up explaining that we were hoping to move out sometime soonish so we could live together and save up for the wedding and a house down payment together. She said "well, you could save more if you both lived here and didn't pay rent"\n\nProblem, I want to move out to get away from her. I love her, but the constant unending guilt trips are driving me to insanity. Additional problem, my partner has said that he would begrudgingly if I asked him to, but I refuse to do that. Because doing so would mean he'd have to give up seeing some of his friends during the week because we live in different towns. He'd also add about an hour to his commute and put a shit ton of miles on his car.\n\nI've explained the work thing to my mom and she's said "can't he find another job closer?" in the past. I've never told him she said that. And if I called her on it. She'd conveniently not remember.\n\nBut this time I told her about how he wouldn't be able to see his friends. And that it's not really fair to him.\n\nI'm still in damage control and it devolves further anyway.\n\nI'm fucking rubbing her back with a back massager and she says "I'm sorry but becoming homeless is kind of a big deal for me"\n\nI've had it. I look at the clock and see it's 10:30. I got home a little after 8. She. Did. Not. Last. 3. Damn. Hours. Before she made it about herself. She wouldn't become homeless. Me being gone would save her some money too.\n\nI suppose I'm writing this as catharsis to get it out of my system. I just an hour ago was sobbing to myself about how she couldn't give me the whole weekend. What was supposed to be one of the best of my life. She had to make it about herself. She couldn't just let me be happy. She couldn't even last three damn hours. She couldn't even last a damn ten minute PHONE CALL on Friday night. If I had let her continue, the same conversation would have happened over the phone. She knows full well what talking like that does to me and how it makes me feel like I'm a little kid again and I just broke something I shouldn't or whatever.\n\nI'm TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD. WHY do narcissistic parents just have this HOLD over their kids into adulthood and make them feel guilty for breathing in a way that's inconvenient for them.\n\nHer circumstances aren't great, but she uses her circumstances to justify her actions. She's sick, has lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, is divorced, hurts all the time and doesn't work as much because she hurts. She says she can't work, but she's not helpless. She specifically says "I'm not helpless. I just need help sometimes"\n\nThe above paragraph is a summary because I've droned on long enough.\n\nI'm tired of constantly bending, telling her she's won, that I won't ever move out, she's had some real doozies of guilt trips to the max to make me promise to never move out.\n\nBut... with my engagement, I have a more newfound strength. I didn't bend this time like I always do. I didn't stand up to her, but I also didn't engage. I just hope it holds. Because she's going to lose this fight. I can't bend anymore or I'll drag my partner to live somewhere he doesn't want to live, and somewhere I don't want to live either.
## 301 Edit: I'll be updating this post as I learn more! Already have cleared up one translation.\n\nIn the Chasm, you can find 9 texts written in the Abyss language. I made 2 other posts, which were my works in progress. This is the final post, with definitions, translations, and locations shown. This was so much fun to work on, thank you to everyone who shared information.\n\nTo clarify, this is a completely updated post! I've edited it to be more concise, and much better!\n\n[Translation Note.](https://preview.redd.it/558isdnwudr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=95e97524d80ce4fbf9ce0e5b13dd3ed6d48d7731)\n\n[\\\\"The dweller in heaven sends the thorns\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/bxfxxwgxudr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=d132f9e666e95d6b080894cc6da2483066cb05a5)\n\n[\\\\"Not to be\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/aaijefe0vdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=df234f2164cc5ea5e78b265b26b69271ba765624)\n\n[\\\\"I bewail the dead\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/ikr83ui1vdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=41f352a82fcfedbf65410647e08aaa5dff78fe7c)\n\n[\\\\"The growth of Agnarr\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/75p8yk0ivdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=facbf844b784aeb7e42c180672d01de35110f72f)\n\nu/carmenndei pointed out an error, in Norse literature, Agnarr is the son of Geirröd, not Hrauthung. My bad! /lh\n\n[\\\\"The way of the Abyss\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/3xslyticvdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=1a43b0f4a1d3d7ff19887b5ee1760388133cca04)\n\n[\\\\"I call the living\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/irp6mkdbvdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=b7a90cfe6ee7d33f1be21655f97aca718ad41e29)\n\n[\\\\"Faithful Egill\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/cwfm72pzudr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff57b79a271182989cd820cde31a27e40e9f89df)\n\n[\\\\"And shadow\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/ezlqsb29vdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=360312ae956d2c954b43ddb3100adf0e15994d7e)\n\n[\\\\"To prevent the shedding of tears\\\\"](https://preview.redd.it/sap4sfs5vdr81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f2c3246081fcd5bcda48823ad88dd133a82db8e)\n\nThank you to u/carmenndei for the awesome find regarding "vedi"!\n\n**Cipher**\n\nAs for the cipher, u/He1iax compiled the cipher and kindly allowed me to share it.\n\n>*"The top halves actually give way to giving us a cipher of sorts, as the top characters are always equal to the bottom characters.* \n> \n>*For example: A will always be E* \n> \n>*So using the ruins, we can create a substitution cipher of sorts, I worked it out, and it goes as such:*\n\n ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ \n EDCBAJIHGFONMLKTSRQPZYXWVU \n\n>*The top alphabet represents the top half, and the bottom represents the bottom half!* \n> \n>*This also allows us to decrypt prior gibberish runes found in domains, as we now know the encryption method they used :)"*\n\nI have attempted to make a complete passage with this, but I'm just grasping at straws here.\n\n The dweller in heaven sends the thorns\n Not to be\n I bewail the dead\n The growth of Agnarr\n The way of the Abyss\n I call the living\n Faithful Egill\n And shadow\n To prevent the shedding of tears\n\n"The dweller in heaven sends the thorns, for the way of the Abyss is not to be. Faithful Egill and growing Agnarr mourn the dead, call on the living, and the shadows prevent the shedding of tears,"\n\n\\- I think that this is a reference to Celestia, and the pillar (the thorn) that is identical to the Skyfrost Nail. Celestia descends onto the Chasm, to stop Khaenri'ah, or a similar nation, like what happened to Dragonspine. The Abyss, which was previously the citizens of Khaenri'ah, is "not the way to be." Egill and Agnarr (important figures; Abyss Lectors) mourn and shed tears for those lost, and call to those still alive.\n\nu/dreadful5050 gave me permission to share their interpretation, it sounds way better than mine! You can find their explanation in the comments :)\n\n>*The dwellers in heaven use the thorns* \n> \n>*To pass judgement* \n> \n>*I see your tears* \n> \n>*I too mourn the dead* \n> \n>*But if you do not wish to become like them* \n> \n>*This Pious Egill* \n> \n>*Calls upon the living* \n> \n>*To go into the depths* \n> \n>*And the shadows*\n\nI haven't played the new Dainsleif quest, so I should probably do that. I will eventually play it, so expect an update soon! There's bound to be tons of lore, that might clear this up.\n\nThank you again, this was delightful. \n\n\n(since the translation has improved over time, I need to edit the full verse, apologies!)
## 311 I have celiac. I'm a GF chef. My husband is Chinese-Vietnamese. I make gluten free Chinese food and GF Vietnamese food, literally all the time. I see a LOT of people here who seem to think Chinese food cannot be done GF and crave it. If you're willing to cook (and, like, literally most Chinese cooking isn't very difficult or complicated, it just takes time) then let me know what recipes you want and I'll either give you mine or direct you to a source.\n\nQuickly, gotta say... SQUID BRAND FISH SAUCE IS GLUTEN FREE. Seems many of you aren't aware of that, but it is. I've been eating it safely for years and years now.[http://www.gianthippo.org/2016/06/23/ingredient-spotlight-squid-brand-fish-sauce/#:\\~:text=It%20doesn't%20have%20any,%2C%20and%20sesame%2Dfree](http://www.gianthippo.org/2016/06/23/ingredient-spotlight-squid-brand-fish-sauce/#:~:text=It%20doesn't%20have%20any,%2C%20and%20sesame%2Dfree)).\n\nThe \\*only\\* thing I can't replicate is Canto noodles. They never come out right.\n\nIf you want GF chinese take out... everything from eggrolls (American style) to Spring Rolls (Viet and Thai style), to General Tsao's to Orange Chicken, to Bao, scallion pancake, and GF dumplings, just ask me.\n\nEDIT: I SEE YOU, I HEAR YOU. IT WILL TAKE TIME TO WRITE UP ALL THESE RECIPES BUT I WILL DO SO. KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING. \n\n\nEDIT 2: So, I'm going make videos for these recipes as trying to type out the techniques is just... almost impossible. I will likely make a Pateron, because in order to produce these videos I will need to buy food I would not ordinarily have bought in such a small time frame and start giving food away to the neighbours so it doesn't go to waste, lol... and I live in Canada, where food prices right now are high and climbing.
## 321 Hey guys, I am actually fairly disheartened that I find myself back here with a post to vent. It is the story of \034Kat\035 (not her real name) and it is likely to be the worst encounter I have yet to have\n\nA few things I must note before the story begins. For a man, I have a tendency to be fairly feminine, both in mannerism and sometimes appearance (make up can do WONDERS), as well as fairly tall. Keep this in mind, it will be important for the story\n\nNow, for the cast. \n\nWe have me, Raagu the barbarian Goliath \n\nKat, the problem player, an elf bard\n\nThe dm\n\nAnd our other two members who, while having less interaction in the story, I feel are just as important as the rest of our party, who I will call Jack and Dean, an orc Paladin and a human cleric respectively.\n\n\nSo it starts off with us all joining a game with a dm on roll20 from a role play place I go to quite often for board games. Jack and Dean knew each other beforehand, while the rest of us were strangers. We might\031ve had some correspondence before, but if so I do not remember it\n\nWe all met in the dm\031s home where we started writing down our characters. I have most of my characters written down on my laptop as I do have a hobby of making characters and then playing them out to flesh them out more. This helps me a lot in how I might play them later at other dnd games personality wise. \n\nNot much of our backstories are important to the plot except one little tidbit& my character is married.\n\nSo session one plays out& then session two& and three. No major red flags yet, aside from a bit of starring from Kat and a fair amount of rp between our characters. \n\nThe problem started and ended with the fourth session. Her and I had gone out shopping for provisions. Well& I was out for a new weapon, as a nat one on an earlier berserker rage and reckless blow lead to my maul snapping, and her joining me for provisions\n\nI had gotten myself a fine new two handed war hammer! Big catch there! Kat then announced \034I move over to Raagu and wrap my arms with his\035\n\nNow, I will mention that I actually don\031t usually mind romance in dnd games, honestly I think it can be fun in moderation. But again, Raagu is married. Happily so in fact. So I said I push her off and show my hand with the gold ring on it.\n\n\034Why\031d you push me off?\035 This caught me off guard, as the I thought the ring was evidence enough \034He\031s married\035 I answered. I shit you not, these were the next words that came out of her mouth \034Oh come on, he\031d be much better of turning into a woman and being my girlfriend\035\n\nI stared at her and then looked to the dm and back at her. I was dumbfounded. \034That\031s not going to happen\035 was my response to it\n\n\034Why?!\035 She chimed, seeming a little aggressive at my unwillingness. \034He\031s a man& a very prideful man. A very happy husband and prideful man\035 \n\n\034There could be potions to make him into a woman, I\031m sure of it!\035\n\nAt this point, I had clocked out from that weird conversation and just wanted to continue. The dm must\031ve noticed and turned the role play over to the group that was at the camp\n\nLater on in that session, we were taking a long rest with Jack taking first night watch. During that time, Kat passed a note to the DM. The dm replied with \034Are you sure?\035 Those infamous words\n\nShe nodded and the dm asked me to make a perception check. I rolled an 18 and she explained how amidst my sleeping I suddenly felt some soft weight upon me and, which I immediately tossed off me\n\nIt turned out to be& you guessed it& Kat. Not just that, but she was nude. \034Oh big boy wants to play rough?\035\n\nI did not reciprocate. Being who he was, he lifted her up under the arm pits, walked out of his tent and over in front of her and just plopped her there, glaring. I felt like this was the most \034non-violent\035 way my character could show a no in this situation\n\nI sat and joined night watch from that moment through the night, just in case she tried to pull that again.\n\nLast but not least, the final straw. We were all just trucking through the brush of a forest, with big and grumpy me in the front. Kat once more approached me with a \034Please hold me, I\031m scared\035\n\nI say I push her off& she clings again& I push her off once more. I don\031t remember how many times she did it, but atleast 5 times on that walk. I glared at her out of game and after the last one I coldly asked the dm if PVP is okay, and she said yes. So in character I said \034if you try to touch me one more time, I will not be as nice as I have been\035\n\nThis, in my opinion, was an obvious threat from an angry, tall, lawful evil, GOLIATH BARBARIAN. She, for who knows which ever reason did it& again& so I punched her in game. \n\nShe responded thusly \034What the hell is your problem with me?!\035 Which I shouted back \034what is YOUR problem?!\035\n\nShe squawked back with a \034you can\031t hit a woman! That\031s sexist!\035\n\nI was livid at this point \034You say I did something wrong?! Your character literally tried to sexually assault mine and has been harassing me this entire session! Have you no respect for a \034no\035 nor the fact that he\031s married?!\035\n\n\034You\031re disrespecting my sexuality!\035 Came out of her mouth. I believe that anyone can love anyone and be with anyone as long as it is above the age of consent and is not a violent one, so I barked back with \034And your disrespecting my consent!\035\n\nI turned to the dm and just said that Raagu, clenched and bloody fist leaves back in the direction we came from.\n\nI did not respond to anything Kat said from that moment on and until the session ended. The dm sent a text during and asked if Raagu was following them. \034No\035 came back from me. I had made up my mind.\n\nSo after the session and we all went home, I texted the dm back and said I was quitting the game. She was pretty respectful, but mentioned that apparently Kat had a crush on me. So the final message between us went as follows \034Then she went about it the completely wrong way then. It might\031ve happened if she came to me outside of the game, heck the in game romance might have as well. But one should not pursue outside romance by doing it in game\035\n\nThis is a mindset I picked up from Den of the Drake, aided by the fact that I myself came into dnd first time with the same \034maybe a gf over this\035 mentality\n\nI think I did things pretty well, but I don\031t know if I could\031ve done it better, I\031d love to hear you guys\031 criticism and opinion, thank you\n\nTL;DR A girl suddenly starts flirting with my married character in a weird attempt to flirt with me
## 331 I found that photo about a month ago now, but this.. secret, has been extremely hard to keep to myself and I can't help but wonder if I am simply being paranoid or if there is more to this issue. I need some form of advice!\n\nIt was around April 2022 when my boyfriend-- let's call him Jaden, brought up the idea that we should move in together. We have been dating for nearly 2 years now and since we are both going to the same University it was simply the best option to live in the same apartment, relationship and financial wise. Him and I met in our senior year of high school, he was the new kid and I was in charge of showing him around. We did not click automatically, he was quiet, a little strange actually and had extreme trust issues. However after spending some time together he warmed up to me and here we are now.\n\nJaden has always been quite a reserved person, so this type of idea coming from him was surprising, so I was thrilled to say the least! Since my apartment is closer to our University and larger than his, I instantly proposed that he moved in with me.\n\nAbout 1 week after we made the decision, he started packing his stuff to move them into my place. We'd been in his apartment all day organising his stuff. See, the thing is Jaden does not have a lot of stuff. And I never thought anything of it, I just assumed that it was because he is a guy. So when I only saw 4 boxes containing his stuff, it did not alarm me.\n\nAfter we were done we were chilling on his couch and he asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said yes, so he made his way out to get us some take-away Asian food right down the street from his apartment. While he was gone, I got up and went to his kitchen to get a glass of water. On my way back to his living room, I took a quick peek into his bedroom to check if he had forgotten anything. That's when I noticed a single carton box in his open wardrobe. The wardrobe door was just slightly ajar, as if it was left unintentionally open.\n\nI made my way to the wardrobe and picked up the box, I was instantly thrown off by how heavy it was.. so I placed it back down and sat on the ground next to it. I opened it to see what made it so heavy. It was a bunch of books, and envelopes. They were old, and vintage looking. The books didn't look contemporary and they were dusty, used and were visibly decades old. They were colour coded according to school subjects and had my boyfriend's first and last name on the front. However, it wasn't his last name. I know his last name, and the one written on the books was not his. I thought it was weird but dismissed it as him using an alias/nickname in his previous high school.\n\nThere were about 20 envelopes, all visibly old as well and had an address I did not know. However, this is where things just got extremely strange. I picked up one of the books, it was blue for Maths and I opened it. The page was just a bunch of Mathematic calculations, but at the top of the page there was a date.\n\n*Thursday, 26th of January 1975.*\n\nI remember blinking so many times out of pure confusion... Why would the date be from nearly 50 years ago? Jaden wasn't even alive then! The only explanation my mind could come up with was that these books were simply not his. Maybe they belonged to an old relative of his and Jaden has an emotional attachment to these books?\n\nBut he had never mentioned anything about them.\n\nI hurriedly flicked through more pages and sure enough all the other dates were 1975 as well. An uncomfortable feeling started manifesting in my gut and I felt the need to look through the other things in the box, for anything that would give me some form of answer or clarity. An envelope that was significantly larger than the others was what caught my attention. I picked it up and inspected the outside of it, the back was blank but the front had Jaden's name on it. I opened it and pulled out two sheets of paper inside, they were pictures.\n\nThe picture on top was a class photo. About 20 kids around the age of 17-18 stared back at me. They were all wearing uniforms and were showing their sets of teeth. I smiled a little at the wholesome picture while looking at each individual person. Until I noticed *Jaden*. My smile vanished and my throat felt blocked. He wasn't smiling but there he was, in the back row. The same pale skin, dark eyes and even darker hair.\n\nI looked at the bottom of the picture and it said 'Class of 1975'. I felt my eyes go wide as I stared at him. I could not believe my eyes-- I did not WANT to believe my eyes. I pulled the second picture from behind the first one and felt the blood drain from my face. It was a solo picture of Jaden, he wasn't smiling but it was *him*. The same pale skin, dark eyes and even darker hair.\n\nI started shaking my head in denial as my breath quickened. This was simply not possible, Jaden looks like a normal 19 year old male. In the moment I tried my hardest to convince myself that it was a relative of his, and that Jaden simply looked a lot like him. It's common right? But what threw me completely off the edge was the small cicatrix right above his left eyebrow. *My* Jaden has that exact scar right above his left eyebrow.\n\nAt the bottom of the picture there was a handwritten message.\n\n*Hey Jaden, I'm going to be honest with you and say that your senior picture is not bad man! You lady catcher! Sorry about hitting you with my bat... Well to be honest, that scar makes you look badass as fuck, like some kick ass gangster. Happy graduation cunt! I'll see you in college.*\n\n*- Your best friend Tommy H*\n\nI stared at the text, re-reading it over and over again. Feeling almost offended. Who the hell is Tommy H and why has Jaden never mentioned him to me?\n\nUnfortunately, I did not have time to process as I heard the front door open. I threw the Math book back into the box and shoved the pictures under my shirt and into my jeans right at my lower back. Jaden called out my name as I heard his footsteps come towards the kitchen. I put the box back into the wardrobe, closed it and stood at the bedroom door. When he saw me he smiled.\n\nHe held up two plastic bags in his hands and gave me a kiss on the cheek, his usual cold lips making contact with my cheek. I couldn't help but slightly turn my head away from his touch .\n\n"Mmm alright.." his face scrunched up in confusion."Well I got your favourite."\n\nI stared at his furrowed eyebrows and noticed the scar.\n\n"How'd you say you got that scar again?" I enquired.\n\nHis hand went up to his eyebrow, slightly caressing the scar as if he'd forgotten it was there before he shrugged and turned around. "I already told you, a childhood friend of mine smacked me on the head with a stick after an argument we had." he replied while walking back to the living room. Yes, that is the story he had told me on our first date, but it might be a lie. I felt the need to fight out, a sudden rush of confidence coming over me.\n\n"I thought you said it was a baseball bat?" I side eyed the back of his head.\n\nMy words made him stop walking, but he did not turn around to face me. "What?" his voice was monotone. I had never heard it like that before... and for the first time I felt an emotion that I had never felt before around Jaden. Fear.\n\n"I thought you said it was a baseball bat?" I repeated a little slower this time, my bottom lip was trembling slightly.\n\n"I never said that." He replied, I noticed his shoulder tense and his fists clenched around the plastic bags in his hands. A moment passed where we were both silent before he turned around to face me, a wide smile on his face. His teeth are so perfect, they have always been. Nicely aligned with the canine teeth a little sharp.\n\n"Stick or bat, its really the same thing isn't it?" he retorted, it was more of a statement than a question.\n\n"Yeah... alright," I sighted. I felt like I was just exaggerating.. It made no rational sense that the Jaden in the school photos was the same Jaden now. It was just impossible.\n\nI followed him into the leaving room where we sat on the couch as he placed the food on the table. I grabbed some chopsticks to start eating, and he sipped on his ice coffee.\n\n"Aren't you going to eat?" I pointed at the food with my chopstick.\n\n"Nah, I'm not really hungry right now," He shook his head.\n\nI nodded slightly before eating my food. Jaden has never been a big eater, he usually contents himself with a coffee or some water. But that's when it dawned on me. Jaden rarely actually eats. Thinking back to all of our dates and all of our times spent together, he would either eat nothing or just the bare minimum. It's not as if I never noticed it before, but I always dismissed it as him not being a big foodie.\n\n"You're never hungry." I said, taunting him. I wanted a reaction of some sort, anything.\n\nHe didn't react, and ignored what I said by picking up the remote and turning on the TV.\n\nI gave up trying to get him to talk so I just stared at the side of his face as he watched the TV. He has extremely pale skin, its odd really.. because I always found it as an attractive trait of his but now it felt off. His hair is unnaturally ink black, I remember when we first met I was certain he had dyed it. The iris of his eyes are black too, so black that you really have to concentrate or be close to see his pupils. Something about his physical traits suddenly didn't stick right with me. \n\nWe barely spoke the rest of the evening. At some point I was able to sneak to my bag and leave the pictures there without him seeing. I had to leave around 11pm, but he had to stay because he needed to give the keys to his apartment back to his landlord early in the morning. He insisted I stay the night but I lied and told him I was seeing my sister in the morning. When he hugged me goodbye I felt the familiar coldness of his body, his body was always so cold.. never emitted natural body heat as if warm blood no longer flowed through his veins, but he never complained about feeling cold and neither did I. I was so used to it that most of the time I didn't notice it, but this time I couldn't ignore it.\n\nWhen I arrived at my apartment, the same uncomfortable gut feeling was still present. I grabbed my journal where I usually record my events of the day and wrote everything down, the box, the books and envelopes, the dates, the different family name, the class photos, Tommy H and Jaden's strange behaviour. Then I sat there and thought for so long, thinking, contemplating about Jaden. I got the pictures out of my bag and placed them on my bed.\n\nAt that moment I decided to write down things I found odd.\n\n\\- His appearance: pale skin, black hair and eyes.\n\n\\- Seemingly absent of body heat.\n\n\\- His strange eating habits.\n\n\\- Him being alive before 1975 and still looking like a teenager?\n\nAfter I wrote the last bullet point, I shut my journal and threw it across the room. I felt ridiculous, and paranoid! Dissecting my boyfriend's appearance and traits. It felt like I was dehumanising him. I put all the stuff away in a shoe box under my bed and shoved all the thoughts in the back of my head.\n\nAll of this happened a month ago and I've been going on as normal. Jaden and I are... fine. I noticed some new things about him, his sleeping habits. I have always been a very heavy deep sleeper but with everything that happened, my sleep has been disturbed by anxiety. I noticed that Jaden doesn't really sleep much at night and leaves our room a lot. I don't know what he does when he's not in the room and I don't know why but I am reluctant to find out.\n\nI am currently at a Starbucks writing this because I feel like I am losing my mind and over analysing him. I think the hardest thing about this is when I realised that I don't actually know Jaden. He doesn't have any siblings, no relatives and both of his parents passed away in a car accident. Now that I really think of it, so many things are just so odd about him.\n\nI just want to understand why he was in a class photo from 1975...\n\n[Part 2 is up!](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvwrqd/i_found_a_class_photo_of_my_boyfriend_from_1975/)
## 341 Graduated again yesterday, bang on the due date. But in the most unexpected and unforgettable way.\n\nOur first was late and had to be induced so we were pretty chill on the due date, expecting the same degree of lateness, and I was expecting to have time to wrap up a couple of work bits too on the home computer.\n\nBut within the space of an hour and a half I went from writing an email with the sound of my toddler playing in the background to moping up blood off our bathroom floor in an empty house.\n\nMy partner had been saying she'd had crampy feelings in the morning but said she was sure it wasn't contractions. But at 10.30ish it quite suddenly was. It was definitively full blown contractions.\n\nWe called her mum to come pick up our toddler, she's forty minutes drive away but considering his birth took 48 hours we thought we had time. \n\nStraight after her waters broke.\n\nShe goes upstairs to change out of the wet stuff, and our toddler is starting to play up a bit. An understandable reaction to things clearly not being right, when I hear my partner shouting for the tens machine (electrodes on your back that you buzz during contractions, a form of pain relief during labour)\n\nI still feel like the actual main event is going to be hours away, but I text mother in law to say 'we might need to go sooner rather, you might need to pick toddler up from me at the hospital.'\n\nToddlers trying to play with the tens machine and crying at being pushed (gently) back by mum. Mums groaning starts turning into controlled screams with the labour. She says she feels like she going to be sick and goes to the bathroom. At this point I'm going to phone the mother in law, its nearly 11.30 and the mid wife was due to come for a check in at 12 anyway. I just want toddler out of here ASAP so I know he's OK, but it's too late. \n\nPartner screams that she needs to push, I call 999 and help her get her bottoms off while someone on the other end is running me through questions like 'how many months pregnant is she, is this her first child etc'. I'm yelling back that she's literally having the baby right now and to send help. (I wish the responder had just said 'help is on the way' she made it sound like she wouldnt send help *unless* I answered her questions)\n\nI run to the front door and open it for when Mother in law and ambulance arrive, then run back to the lady on the phone talking me through things, half of which I couldnt hear over my partners screams and my little boys cries. I had one hand ready to catch the baby and the other arm wrapped round my terrified toddler. \n\nIt's all a bit of a blur from there. \n\nMy heart breaks every time I think about how scared my toddler was, I remember Mother in law striding in and lifting him out of the room and feeling like everything would be OK because now I could just focus on the person on the phone and my partner and we just had to make it to when the ambulance arrives. \n\nAs it happened they didn't make it in time to help with the birth, my partner was incredible, instinct took over and she just seemed to know exactly what to do, when to push and after just 30 minutes the baby emerged into my hands. The cord was round his neck so I quickly unravelled that only to find it was wrapped twice more. I got him into my partners hands just as I became aware of a full team of paramedics stepping into the room. \n\n\nThe most indescribably tidal wave of relief, tears, adrenaline, happyness and shock. \nMy partners eyes meeting mine breifly through the wall of paramedics and equipment, both of us in tears but with joyful smiles. \n\nThey called the time of arrival at 12.02 and mum and baby went off in an ambulance to the hospital while I stuck around to clean up and follow in the car with all our hospital bags. In the end we only stayed in the birthing centre for about 5 hours and were home for a late dinner. \n\nMum and baby are doing well, I forgot how light they are as newborns. Toddler will be home from his Grandma's tomorrow and we're settling in to being parents to a baby again (it all comes back quickly if anyone expecting number 2 is wondering) \n\nWhat a roller coaster, if you made it this far thanks for reading. \n\n\nAlso I wanted to post a picture but I cant figure out how to have a picture and text. On mobile it only seems to let me do one or the other. If I pick image I can only add a heading?
## 351 About 2 years ago I got married to the woman of my dreams. She has beautiful brown hair, dreamy blue eyes and the hottest smile. But recently I noticed something was off. She has been buying me gifts, Apologising for anything and everything and paying for meals. I wouldn\031t think this was off except I found a pair of underwear that isn\031t mine. So I decided, I was going to catch her in the act. Only I didn\031t need to. We were watching Fresh, the Disney plus movie, in bed and she got up to use the bathroom, and her phone lights up. I have a very poor self esteem and bad self confidence so I checked. It read at the top \030My Love d\017=<U+0096>\031 Oh well, maybe her parents? But wait, it gets worse. The text reads, for context I also have ADHD and Autism and i shit you not it reads, \030I can\031t wait to fuck your brains out tomorrow after your R****D of a husband is finally gone for his business trip\031\nShe doesn\031t know I\031ve seen this. \n\nWhat do I do?\n\nEDIT: I went to find the texts again and they had been deleted. But I decided I\031d have to get a new form of evidence and set up a camera and gone for my trip. At 2 AM last night I got a notification of activity. I saw her fucking HER BROTHER in my own house that I bought on furniture I payed for. I\031ve got evidence but I obviously can\031t post it on here. Thanks for all your nice comments and I\031lol update you when I get a divorce
## 361 I have this friend, we can call her Elly for the sake of this. Me and her have been friends for about two years now. In the beginning of our friendship, I noticed nothing wrong. As we got closer, though, the things she would say made less and less sense. Outlandish things, that had no chance of being true. She would swear they were true and I didn\031t really have the proof. \n\nI also noticed she had this desperate need for attention. Any time the attention wasn\031t on her she would find a way to bring it back to herself. You got 5 hours of sleep? Well, she got four. Your allergies are bad? Hers are worse. You get the point. One time, I went to the doctor. I\031m a hard stick so they couldn\031t draw blood and had to refer me elsewhere. Of course, like every teenager, I texted a group chat about it. She immediately started talking about how hard it was to draw her blood. \n\nShe also tried constantly to prove what a good social reach she had. Anyone you mentioned, she said she knew. (even if she didn\031t) \n\nThis has gone on for years, finally I got tired of it. I couldn\031t trust a thing she would say and everything felt like a competition. It was pathetic how she scrambled for any ounce of attention. \n\nOne time, she was going on and on about how rich her grandparents were. How they have already given her a luxury car, even before she could drive. (Which she conveniently cannot take to school, of course). She described the mansion they had to all my friends. \n\nSo what did I do? \n\nI tracked down her mom\031s facebook, went through her friend\031s list, and found her grandparents\031 names. Through that, I found out about where they lived. I tracked down their exact address using WhitePages and Zillow. I found that the square footage/worth of their house was middle class at best. About the size of mine. No signs of the obscure \034mafia\035 (her words not mine)type wealth. \n\nShe also said she\031s gotten high before. The way she described it was extremely weird. She said she took this medicine for anxiety, and that it got her high. I tracked down the exact medication she was speaking of. There was no way it got her high. It would have about the same effect as lavender oil on her. She was bragging about this experience to all her friends.\n\nSo, That was just two of the biggest lies I caught her in. I sent the proof she was lying to mutual friends. Now, everyone has lost their trust in her. I\031m trying to pull away from her as much as possible. She\031s going to lose all her friends if she continues with this behavior, and I won\031t have any remorse.
## 371 I have been thinking recently on one of the more glaring textual problems in LOTR, a seeming error from the normally meticulous pen of Professor Tolkien. At the Battle of Helm\031s Deep, Éomer is ambushed by Uruk-hai, and only saved by the timely intervention of Gimli the Dwarf, who slays two speedily. In response to Éomer\031s gratitude, Gimli expresses satisfaction, saying, \n\n>\030Till now I have hewn naught but wood since I left Moria.\031\n\nYet, at Amon Hen and the Breaking of the Fellowship, Legolas has this to say when he and Gimli come across the grieving Aragorn by the body of Boromir:\n\n>So it was that Legolas and Gimli found him. They came from the western slopes of the hill, silently, creeping through the trees as if they were hunting. Gimli had his axe in hand, and Legolas his long knife: all his arrows were spent. When they came into the glade they halted in amazement; and then they stood a moment with heads bowed in grief, for it seemed to them plain what had happened. \n> \n>\030Alas!\031 said Legolas, coming to Aragorn\031s side. \030We have hunted and slain many Orcs in the woods, but we should have been of more use here. We came when we heard the horn \023 but too late, it seems. I fear you have taken deadly hurt.\031\n\nNoted Tolkien scholars and commentators Wayne Hammond and Christina Scull even address this seeming contradiction (and their reason for not changing it) in their \034Note on the 50th Anniversary Edition\035, in which they elucidated a number of changes and errors that have crept into the text of LOTR over the years or were initially missed by Tolkien when he submitted the manuscript for publication:\n\n>Most of the demonstrable errors noted by Christopher Tolkien in The History of Middle-earth also have been corrected, such as the distance from the Brandywine Bridge to the Ferry (ten miles rather than twenty ) and the number of Merry\031s ponies (five rather than six ), shadows of earlier drafts. But those inconsistencies of content, such as Gimli\031s famous (and erroneous) statement in Book III, Chapter 7, \030Till now I have hewn naught but wood since I left Moria\031, which would require rewriting to emend rather than simple correction, remain unchanged.\n\nA simple error, then, of text, agreed upon as such by the best Tolkien scholars there are.\n\nAnd yet. And yet is this the end of the story? I say no.\n\nOver the previous days, I have embarked upon an incredible analytical journey to uncover a wealth of subtextual material that, if not for this all-too-revealing comment by Gimli, may have been hidden forever. I have studied clues, uncovered hidden meanings, and come to realise that, under the surface of the already complex and multi-faceted stories of LOTR, there is a tale of intrigue, of betrayal, of greed and of redemption&all of which is told through the merest of hints and allusions peppered through the text.\n\nThis, then, for the first time, is the tale of how Gimli Gloín\031s son operated, as a double agent, under the command of Saruman the White.\n\nIn order to pick this mystery apart, it is first worth considering why Gimli would make such a claim in the first place. Mere forgetfulness? Unlikely. Perhaps an attempt to deceive Éomer and Aragorn in the moment? Also seems implausible, given how off the cuff the remark is. Did Gimli simply have a dry day at Amon Hen? Also unlikely, given how capable he shows himself to be in every other combat engagement throughout the story.\n\nNay, I believe that Gimli deliberately did not kill any of the Orcs who attacked the Fellowship at Amon Hen. Let\031s go back to the relevant passage at the start of book III:\n\n>So it was that Legolas and Gimli found him. They came from the western slopes of the hill, silently, creeping through the trees as if they were hunting. Gimli had his axe in hand, and Legolas his long knife: all his arrows were spent. When they came into the glade they halted in amazement; and then they stood a moment with heads bowed in grief, for it seemed to them plain what had happened. \n> \n>\030Alas!\031 said Legolas, coming to Aragorn\031s side. \030We have hunted and slain many Orcs in the woods, but we should have been of more use here. We came when we heard the horn \023 but too late, it seems. I fear you have taken deadly hurt.\031 \n> \n>\030Boromir is dead,\031 said Aragorn. \030I am unscathed, for I was not here with him. He fell defending the hobbits, while I was away upon the hill.\031 \030The hobbits!\031 cried Gimli. \030Where are they then? Where is Frodo?\031\n\nNote first the description and reaction of Legolas. We are told that \034all his arrows were spent\035, and later see him foraging for them - plainly, Legolas has been engaged in battle. Legolas is also the one who speaks first, because there is no deceit in him - his is a full and honest reaction. And, though he says that \034we\035 have hunted Orcs, we are not shown this - for all we know, Legolas did indeed fight Orcs, and found Gimli later in the woods, before the two of them heard the horn of Gondor.\n\nGimli, by contrast, is initially silent, calculating and weighing the situation. He has found Legolas, and lied to him that he too was engaged in strife, but he is reticent to repeat the lie to Aragorn. Gimli\031s reaction is rather upon hearing Aragorn mention the Hobbits, eagerly asking where they are, where is Frodo.\n\nPerhaps too eagerly.\n\nFor on what errand was Gimli engaged, if not hunting Orc? Further, how could he have avoided the Orcs, given how thick the woods were with them? The answer is simple. Gimli did not avoid the Orcs, because he was in league with them. Gimli found the Orcs (or they him) and they exchanged information, advice, especially on Gimli\031s side. And, given the mission of the Orcs and the mission of the Fellowship, as well as Gimli\031s quick question to Aragorn concerning Frodo, it should be plain what the nature of Gimli\031s information concerned.\n\nGimli was a spy of Saruman\031s, planted within the Fellowship from the beginning. When the Fellowship split and fled through the woods, Gimli went straight to his Orc handlers, to give up Frodo. Here, crucial miscommunication occurred - Gimli, perhaps, thought that Boromir would have had the best chance of finding Frodo (having seen him last) and so directed the Uruk-hai after Boromir. Boromir, being found in the company of Merry and Pippin, was killed, and the latter two were captured as the assumed Ringbearer - likely, they were taken back to Gimli for positive identification. In the meantime however, Gimli had been found by an unsuspecting Legolas, and was forced to resume his cover - hence, the Orc company beat a hasty retreat, and Gimli is now desperate to know whether the right targets were seized.\n\nNot convinced? That\031s ok - the narrative is sound, but it is not unreasonable to search for additional textual support.\n\n>There were four goblin-soldiers of greater stature, swart, slant-eyed, with thick legs and large hands. They were armed with short broad-bladed swords, not with the curved scimitars usual with Orcs; and they had bows of yew, in length and shape like the bows of Men. Upon their shields they bore a strange device: a small white hand in the centre of a black field; on the front of their iron helms was set an S-rune, wrought of some white metal. \n> \n>\030I have not seen these tokens before,\031 said Aragorn. \030What do they mean?\031 \n> \n>\030S is for Sauron,\031 said Gimli. \030That is easy to read.\031 \n> \n>\030Nay!\031 said Legolas. \030Sauron does not use the elf-runes.\031 \n> \n>\030Neither does he use his right name, nor permit it to be spelt or spoken,\031 said Aragorn. \030And he does not use white. The Orcs in the service of Barad- dûr use the sign of the Red Eye.\031 He stood for a moment in thought. \030S is for Saruman, I guess,\031 he said at length. \030There is evil afoot in Isengard, and the West is no longer safe.\n\nIn this passage from the same chapter, we see Gimli at work trying to sow misinformation and falsehoods - \034S is for Sauron\035, indeed. The words of a guessing idiot? Or a ploy to throw Aragorn and Legolas off the scent? It would serve Gimli well to throw suspicion away from Saruman in this moment, and so he tries to encourage Aragorn to believe that it is servants of Sauron who are responsible - a quick attempt at sowing misinformation. We see more of this misdirection in the following chapter, though rather more subtly on Gimli\031s part:\n\n>There was a silence, for suddenly the dark and unknown forest, so near at hand, made itself felt as a great brooding presence, full of secret purpose. After a while Legolas spoke again.\n>\n>\030Celeborn warned us not to go far into Fangorn,\031 he said. \030Do you know why, Aragorn? What are the fables of the forest that Boromir had heard?\031 \n> \n>\030I have heard many tales in Gondor and elsewhere,\031 said Aragorn, \030but if it were not for the words of Celeborn I should deem them only fables that Men have made as true knowledge fades. I had thought of asking you what was the truth of the matter. And if an Elf of the wood does not know, how shall a Man answer?\031 \n> \n>\030You have journeyed further than I,\031 said Legolas. \030I have heard nothing of this in my own land, save only songs that tell how the Onodrim, that Men call Ents, dwelt there long ago; for Fangorn is old, old even as the Elves would reckon it.\031 \n> \n>\030Yes, it is old,\031 said Aragorn, \030as old as the forest by the Barrow-downs, and it is far greater. Elrond says that the two are akin, the last strongholds of the mighty woods of the Elder Days, in which the Firstborn roamed while Men still slept. Yet Fangorn holds some secret of its own. What it is I do not know.\031 \n> \n>\030And I do not wish to know,\031 said Gimli. \030Let nothing that dwells in Fangorn be troubled on my account!\031\n\nHere, the observations are twofold. First, see how Gimli does not interrupt the dialogue of Aragorn and Legolas concerning Fangorn. Naturally, the pair do not think Gimli would have much to add concerning these far distant lands, and there is no reason for Gimli to correct them. For Gimli has travelled Rohan, most assuredly, and likely has been through Fangorn to Isengard. How else would he have met with Saruman in the first place, and negotiated the terms under which he would serve the White Wizard? For there were terms, a deal struck - there is no reason to suspect Gimli worked for Saruman out of charity! But we will return to that.\n\nSuffice it to say further, though, that while Gimli does not contribute to the discussion of Aragorn and Legolas, he does make his opposition to entering Fangorn known. The hesitancy of a superstitious, axe-bearing Dwarf? Or the sudden realisation that, if there be eyes in Fangorn, those eyes may well have spied Gimli Glóin\031s son on his previous errands - and that those eyes could well speak and betray his secrets?\n\nNonetheless, despite Gimli\031s continued and repeated arguments against entering Fangorn, the Three Hunters do so, and make camp there.\n\n>Suddenly Gimli looked up, and there just on the edge of the firelight stood an old bent man, leaning on a staff, and wrapped in a great cloak; his wide-brimmed hat was pulled down over his eyes. Gimli sprang up, too amazed for the moment to cry out, though at once the thought flashed into his mind that Saruman had caught them. Both Aragorn and Legolas, roused by his sudden movement, sat up and stared. The old man did not speak or make a sign.\n\nThe old man episode is one of the creepiest unexplained episodes in the entire story. That it was probably Saruman is later established by Gandalf, who denies having seen the trio at camp. It has long been assumed that Saruman had personally set out from Orthanc in order to search the burned heap of Orcs left by the Rohirrim, or was at the least projecting some phantasm in order to spy out the happenings in the area.\n\nBut what if he had an additional purpose, a purpose that drew him to the Three Hunters? What if he intended to consult with Gimli, his spy?\n\nNote how Gimli does *not* cry out on seeing the old man. Indeed, his rousing of Aragorn and Legolas is entirely involuntary, which seems strange indeed given that Gimli was on watch. No shout to rouse his \030friends\031, no surreptitious movement to alert them. No, Gimli did not want them to awaken at that moment, so that he could finally consult with his master, share in full the happenings at Amon Hen and since, and receive orders on how to proceed.\n\nEven more damning is how obsessed Gimli then becomes with the \034old man\035, bringing it up loudly at every opportunity over the following few chapters. This is Gimli at his most flustered and worried, knowing full well that he very nearly blew his cover, and so overreacting to a comical degree in order to assure anyone who will listen that the old man incident was A Surprise to him.\n\nAt this point, evidence is looking very conclusive - and, at this point, we come to a crucial moment in the hidden story of Gimli. The turn of the double agent. For at this point in the narrative, Gandalf reenters. And not just Gandalf, but Gandalf the White. And, for the first time in possibly years, Gimli\031s faith in the superiority of his master is shaken. We see this doubt in a passage soon after Gandalf\031s healing of Théoden.\n\n>At the gate they found a great host of men, old and young, all ready in the saddle. More than a thousand were there mustered. Their spears were like a springing wood. Loudly and joyously they shouted as Théoden came forth. Some held in readiness the king\031s horse, Snowmane, and others held the horses of Aragorn and Legolas. Gimli stood ill at ease, frowning, but Éomer came up to him, leading his horse.\n\nThe text leads us to believe that Gimli is merely uncomfortable at the prospect of riding a horse, but why should he be? He has already been borne by both Legolas and Gandalf (itself a biting metaphor, for how Gimli himself has parasite-like attached himself to the Fellowship), and has no reason to suspect he will be left behind now. Nay, Gimli, for the first time in the story, is doubtful. Doubtful as to whether allying himself with Saruman is the surest way to achieve his goal.\n\nAnd what be that goal? What could Saruman the White have tempted Gimli the Dwarf with, what could the wizard have promised him in victory, in order to win his allegiance long months or even years ago?\n\nWhy, the answer is simple. Aglarond, The Glittering Caves, that lay in the White Mountains behind Helm\031s Deep.\n\nWe are led to believe that Gimli first sees the Caves during the Battle of Helm\031s Deep - but what evidence have we for this, other than from his own lying tongue? Indeed, Gimli\031s poetic and eloquent description of the Caves and their beauty to Legolas after the battle, reads like it has been long-pondered and considered. How, in the heat of battle and the panic of war, could Gimli have seen or observed so much of the beauty and grandeur of the Caves?\n\nThe answer is simple - this is not the first time Gimli has been there. He has travelled to these caves in secret, long before the Quest of the Fellowship, and through them was he ensnared by Saruman, who promised him lordship and mastery of them once Rohan had fallen. This was the bait that captured Gimli.\n\nBut Gimli is no mere agent of evil, either - he is a complex and a wary player in his own right. And now, at the Battle of Helm\031s Deep, he sees an unbelievable opportunity for himself. If Saruman be victorious, than all is well and their webs of deceit shall continue tightening.\n\nBut if, *if* the Rohirrim win out? Then Gimli can continue working with them. So good a job has he done as a double agent, so deep undercover he has wormed himself, that none suspect him - and he knows this. If the Rohirrim win, then Gimli can turn on his former master without pause, and none will be the wiser - and, having won valour and renown, Gimli is full aware that he may yet be granted the Caves by the King of Rohan for his service.\n\nSo, during the Battle of Helm\031s Deep, Gimli retreats to the Caves (note how he knew exactly where to go!), prepared to emerge as their eventual master no matter who won the battle. And, with the victory of Gandalf and Théoden, Gimli realises that, without skipping a beat, he is able to continue working for the Free Peoples, as he has pretended to all along. Truly, this be a master of duplicity and double-dealing.\n\nYet it is not the end of the story.\n\nFor, though Gimli has now switched sides, Saruman does not know this. And Gimli knows that Saruman does not know, and realises he can exploit this for all that it is worth.\n\nSo Théoden and his company set out for Orthanc, and there they meet with Merry and Pippin. Gimli, in particular, is interested to hear their story, given the pivotal role he played in it. Indeed, Gimli\031s attention to detail regarding all things concerning the business of Isengard can be seen when he picks up on a throwaway remark by one of the hobbits, following it up much later:\n\n>They all fell silent for a while. Gimli re-filled his pipe. \030There is one thing I wonder about,\031 he said as he lit it with his flint and tinder: \030Wormtongue. You told Théoden he was with Saruman. How did he get there?\031\n\nAs highly important agents in Saruman\031s employ, it is reasonable to assume that Gimli and Gríma were passingly familiar with each other. Indeed, it is exceedingly likely that Gríma is the one who recruited Gimli long years ago, recognising the same desires in the Dwarf that he was ensnared by and bringing him before Saruman. Gimli is also aware that Gríma may now be a liability, and is therefore anxious to know what he has said or told - the fact that Wormtongue was forced into the tower, rather than being interrogated and giving up Gimli\031s own secrets, is doubtless a great relief to the Dwarf.\n\nAnd so, Gimli sets the final piece of his own little trap, as he insists on coming to the parley with Saruman.\n\n>\030As you will,\031 said Gandalf. \030Aragorn shall come with me. Let the others await us at the foot of the stairs. They will hear and see enough, if there is anything to hear or see.\031 \n> \n>\030Nay!\031 said Gimli. \030Legolas and I wish for a closer view. We alone here represent our kindreds. We also will come behind.\031\n\nGimli, of course, knows Saruman well and does not need to see him. However, Gimli wants Saruman to see *him*, to deceive the latter that he is still positioned and ready for action.\n\nWhatever coded messages Gimli and Saruman exchange during this public meeting cannot be deciphered through context alone, though doubtless Gimli played his part well, well enough to convince Saruman he was still loyal. We know this in part because Saruman does not expose the cover of his \030ally\031. Further, we know this because Saruman clearly intended to communicate further with Gimli, in order to salvage victory - hence, the order for Wormtongue to cast a *palantír* to Gimli as he left.\n\nThis was a desperate move on Saruman\031s part, but not foolish. He knew that Gimli could use the *palantír* to speak directly with Sauron, to explain where the plan fell apart (since Saruman is operating with imperfect information). Saruman likely even hoped that he would then receive the news from Gimli in full via a Nazgûl, perhaps even a backup *palantír* to facilitate further communication.\n\nHowever, Wormtongue\031s throw is poorly judged, and the *palantír* ends up in the hands of Pippin. And, as Gimli now had no intent of using it at all, he does not protest or struggle over the handling of the globe. In book V, though, we receive this small reminder that he was meant to use the Stone to speak with Sauron and/or his allies:\n\n>\030A struggle somewhat grimmer for my part than the battle of the Hornburg,\031 answered Aragorn. \030I have looked in the Stone of Orthanc, my friends.\031 \n> \n>\030You have looked in that accursed stone of wizardry!\031 exclaimed Gimli with fear and astonishment in his face. \030Did you say aught to \023 him?\031\n\nA fleeting moment of fear for the newly repentant double agent, realising that Sauron may have inadvertently revealed his treachery to Aragorn. But Aragorn did not think to probe the mind of Sauron, and Sauron himself was likely too surprised to react. Gimli, through a stroke of luck, passes the final hurdle.\n\nAnd by this point, Gimli\031s double-dealing victory is settled. He rides out the remainder of the War as an ally of the West, and is in latter days granted lordship over the Glittering Caves - doubtless after years of careful scheming, subtle politicking, perhaps even a well-chosen poisoning or two.\n\nSo, to sum up this extraordinary tale. In the few years before the War of the Ring started, Gimli the Dwarf comes across the Glittering Caves during his secret travels across Middle-earth. Coveting them, he is ensnared (possibly by Gríma Wormtongue) and brought into the service of Saruman the White (himself a former pupil of Aulë, Father of the Dwarves), with the Caves being promised to him as reward for his aid. Gimli, knowing the One Ring to be in the possession of Baggins, contrives to be present in Rivendell when the Fellowship is formed, and exploits (likely even forces) a demand for \034racial representation\035 to force his way into the company. For months, Gimli sincerely guards the Ringbearer, escorting him as close as possible to the borders of Saruman\031s lands, where a trap is sprung. Gimli meets with his Orc allies in the woods of Amon Hen, and tries to direct them to follow Boromir in order to seize Frodo and his servant. However, Legolas discovers Gimli in the midst of this plot and Gimli is forced to maintain his cover. Upon realising that the Uruk-hai captured the wrong hobbits, Gimli is forced to abandon the Ringbearer and trust that others will hunt him down&.Gimli must now return to Orthanc to debrief and receive new orders. However, upon seeing the returned Gandalf and subsequently participating in Saruman\031s failed offensive against Rohan, Gimli realises that he has chosen the wrong side&but also that he is incredibly well-positioned to turn traitor once more, with none being the wiser. He exploits this triple agent status to extract valuable resources and information from Saruman, and, despite the risk of his web of falsehoods being revealed by Treebeard, by Wormtongue, or even by Sauron himself, Gimli is able to dodge all such happenings, and later uses his \034heroic\035 actions as justification to claim dominion over the Glittering Caves - his long, secret goal these many years.\n\nAnd, in proof of the greatness of J.R.R. Tolkien, this entire thrilling, complex story of espionage, of treachery and of subterfuge is revealed through a single line of dialogue, a pithy quip - \034Till now I have hewn naught but wood since I left Moria.\035 Truly, a master at his literary craft.\n\nThis may scarcely seem believable, but I assure you, no other version of events fits the text as well as mine does. It may seem ludicrous, far-fetched, cherry-picked, needlessly complex, and flimsily justified, but this is not my fault. Rather, such a thrilling tale must always seem unbelievable, its myriad twists and turns be so heightened as to bewilder the senses and baffle reason. Indeed, were it a more mundane tale, it would lose also its drama and scope. I am sure that, upon reading the text of LOTR more closely, with careful attention paid to this hidden story and the clues sprinkled throughout that allude to it, you will realise that my interpretation of the tale is the right one.\n\nAnd for any who still doubt? I present one final, thrilling piece of evidence sure to silence the naysayers:\n\n>!Happy April 1, dear readers. Until next time.!<
## 381 Update 2: after i cancelled, he texted me back saying i misunderstood him. He said he only offered to go to his place because we have limited time, and he made sure he has snacks at home. He\031s not some monster (don\031t know if i\031m translating that correctly) who doesn\031t care about a good date and cares only about sex. He understand that i want to make the first date outdoors and we still could meet up at the ice cream shop and get to know each other and and bla bla. \n\nI still said no because he didn\031t sound genuine and i already lost my interest. I\031ll give other men a chance who take their time to get to know me and make sure i feel comfortable. \n\nUpdate: i cancelled it. Thanks guys! \n\n\nA week ago i (26F) matched with a guy on ockupid. He(23M) asked me out right away, in his second reply to be exact. We were supposed to meet at an icecream shop, and he implied he can\031t stay long because he has training after. Also he gave me a really distant date because again he was busy, like about a week later. And during this time we barely talked. He would answer 2-3 days later. \n\nA few days ago we were talking about the details, like when we were supposed to meet and he said \034we could meet at 14:00 at the ice cream store and then chill at my place\035. \n\nAnd today he proposed to pick me up with his car and go directly to his place.\n\nI mean i understand he wants something casual, but i feel uncomfortable in this situation. I\031m still a virgin and i\031d like to get to know this person at least a little bit before we jump straight in to sex, so that i can feel comfortable. \n\nHe didn\031t even want to pay for an ice cream (which i would pay for mine anyway) and want to take me to bed straight away. I doubt this person would make any effort to make a virgin comfortable in bed. And what if i don\031t like him in person? It\031d be too late to leave once i\031m at his place. But i could easily make up an excuse at the ice cream shop to go back home.\n\nAm i right? Should i cancel the date?
## 391 FYI: I hope it\031s ok that I\031ve posted my encounter in another community already. I can\031t stop thinking about what happened to me and I\031m hoping to find anyone that has more info about this hotel. \n\n\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\n\nSorry for the very long post. My encounter happened when I was out of town and while I was on the plane coming back home, I wanted to write down everything that happened while it was fresh in my mind. I have a history of blocking traumatic experiences out and \034forgetting\035 details so I really wrote down every little thing. Although I don\031t think I\031ll be forgetting this one anytime soon lol \n\nI stayed at the Magnolia Hotel in Downtown Dallas this past Sunday through Thursday. I visit Dallas occasionally for work and I had actually stayed at Magnolia before, about 3 years ago. Even though the hotel is old and one could say it\031s \034creepy\035 by nature (dim lighting, old decor, etc), my last stay was extremely pleasant. I just thought it was a cool historic hotel with big rooms in a great location, which is why I booked it again. This time was not the case =C\n\nI got in Sunday evening and there was a funky smell in the lobby. It was pungent kind of like those flowers that smell like vomit. I didn\031t think anything of it. It\031s in an extra touristy part of Dallas with tons of bars and it could have actually been the smell of vomit who knows. \n\nThere was one man at the front desk who got me checked in quickly. I had booked a regular room and he said he was upgrading me to a suite since I was staying for 4 nights. I was excited about the upgrade, thanked him, and walked to the elevators to go to my room 2202 on the 22nd floor. \n\nThe elevators open and the first notable thing was how hot it was. Dallas is quite warm right now but the lobby was comfortable and this felt more like the heat was on. Hot stuffy air. I didn\031t think anything of it, other than it was weird for them to keep the heat on when it\031s been almost 90 degrees over there. \n\nThe floors are pretty big with 2 halls, 1 to the left and 1 to the right immediately after you get out of the elevator. Mine was to the left, I passed maybe 6 other rooms and got to mine. I opened the door and I don\031t know how else to describe it other than it had a really bad vibe?? It was dark and dingy and just felt BAD in there. Like from the hallway to my room felt like totally different energies. It was weird because I felt kind of scared and fearful but wasn\031t sure why, like I couldn\031t control the feeling from my mind or gut or wherever the hell fear comes from. I tried turning more lights on to make it less creepy but all the fixtures are old so even with every light on it\031s still pretty dim. I didn\031t want to overthink it, so I unpacked and went out to grab some dinner. \n\nI came back to the hotel and just went through the same motions.. the noticeably bad smell in lobby, the noticeably warm 22nd floor, and the awful feeling that came over me as I walked into my room. I start getting ready for bed and that\031s when the weird shit started happening. \n\nThere\031s lots of shiny surfaces in the room, like 2 tv screens, glass table tops, and framed art. Every time I looked towards one of these objects, there would be some kind of unexplained movement in it. I wasn\031t seeing a specific image or anything it was more like a reflection/shadow walking past behind me or a weird shift in the lighting/glare. I would hold still and look behind me to try and understand what was happening but I couldn\031t make sense of it. \n\nThe room was a suite so it was pretty big. It was laid out long with a small kitchenette when you enter, dining/tv area, bedroom and bathroom. There were 3 or 4 times where I\031d be in one area and see something walk by in the room next to me out of the corner of my eye. It was one of the most unsettling feelings I\031ve ever had but I just kept thinking I had to be imagining things. \n\nI\031m about to go to bed and I hear a loud noise come from the closet, it was like the sound made when you open a shower curtain really fast and the metal hooks roll against the metal rod. I open the closet and the 5 pieces of clothing I had on hangers are swaying slightly back and forth. I think I\031m going fucking crazy at this point. \n\nI try to sleep, it\031s obviously very hard after all that but I really try, convincing myself that I need to get sleep so I stop imagining things. At around 1:30 am my body gets so so hot. I\031m confused because my room doesn\031t feel hot and my bed still feels comfortable, but my body is very warm. I fall asleep for about 30 minutes and I wake up really startled. I didn\031t hear or see anything but it was that feeling you get when someone shakes you while you\031re sleeping and you wake up abruptly and confused. Then a few seconds later, I feel a tug at the end of my bed towards my feet like someone is pulling lightly on my sheets. I scream and get up to turn the lights on. I\031m just super scared at this point looking all around the room trying to find idk something? I consider calling the front desk but for some reason do not, I just leave the lights on and look at my phone for a while and get a really awful night of sleep. I\031d say I slept for about 2 hours on and off. \n\nI wake up tired but feeling alright all things considered. I set the thermostat to 60 and I go to work and go about my day fine not really even stopping to think about what happened. That night I went to dinner with some coworkers and they ask me how my hotel is. For whatever reason I don\031t want to tell them what happened. I had this feeling come over me like I wasn\031t supposed to talk about what happened, at least not at that time. \n\nI go back to my room that night and within the first few seconds I\031m in there, a shadow walks by again but this time it\031s inches next to me to my left. I am freaked the fuck out!!! And it looked like a tall man. I didn\031t see a face or person it was more like an opaque shadow. But I could tell it was a man the same way you can be walking down the street and tell a man, woman or child was next to you without looking at them. I run towards the door but stay in the room. I call my boyfriend and tell him what I saw and he said I had to be imagining things but if I was really worried to call the front desk and ask someone to check my room. And hang up and pull up the number to the concierge but can\031t bring myself to call it. I had a feeling again come over me telling me not to talk about what was going on and that I should stay. \n\nThese events ended up happening every single night. It was almost like I was living with a roommate. There was constant movement, \034someone\035 would walk past me in an adjacent door frame throughout the entire stay. The reflective surfaces would show unexplained activity in them. My body would get boiling hot at around 1:30 am and I\031d wake up confused followed by a tug at my feet. I kind of got used to it. Don\031t get me wrong, I was absolutely terrified the entire time but I had this feeling like I had to keep quiet and get through it. The last 2 nights also felt a bit different, I was still scared because of all this wild shit happening but I didn\031t feel like I was in any danger. I was scrolling through my texts and on the last night I had texted my bf \034I\031m so tired of these shadows watching me it\031s getting old\035 really casually while I was half asleep. \n\nI was so excited to check out this morning. I packed up now avoiding all reflective surfaces and went downstairs. I grabbed a coffee and had to pee before I left but obviously did not want to go back to the room so I went to the bathroom in the business center. I go to wash my hands and 2 sinks over the automatic soap dispenses 1 pump and the water runs for about 30 seconds as recommended by the CDC >r\n\nAs I was leaving I go linger the front desk for a while considering telling them what happened to me. I wait for other guests to clear and go up to the one young girl working there. I ask her if anyone ever reported paranormal or unexplained things happening at the hotel. She said no, but that she was new and not sure. Then she asked me what room I was in and she said \034oh that\031s weird they told me to never put people in that hall\035.She then asked me who checked me in and when I told her she said she didn\031t know anyone that fits the description =\002. Again, she said she didn\031t work there very long, I didn\031t take it too seriously and I felt delirious at this point. I was waiting for people to pop out like I was on some kind of prank tv show or something. \n\nOnce I checked out I felt more comfortable talking about it. I didn\031t get into details but I did tell some coworkers that my hotel was haunted and immediately their responses were \034was it the Adolphus???\035 which is supposedly very haunted, with a history of murders and freaky shit, and it\031s next door to Magnolia. Apparently Dallas is very haunted which is news to me but probably not to many of you reading this. \n\nSo that\031s my story. Like I said the hotel is old and creepy but I\031m positive that something paranormal was with me there. I\031ve never been particularly into this stuff but I\031m the type to be open to the idea of many things and I just can\031t believe it happened to me. \n\nIf anyone has any similar stories about this particular hotel I would love to hear. I was only able to find one similar account online but the google search is overrun with articles from a different Magnolia Hotel in Sequin.
## 401 I have a long history of always pleasing others and putting other people's interests before my own. I think it started back in elementary and middle school, where I was constantly bullied to the point where I'd think I deserved it and never complained about being a walking joke. I wanted to fit in, so I let everyone around me do whatever they wanted. \n\nUp until recently, I was always there for everybody. You needed some cash because you couldn't make ends meet? No problem. My boss needed me to work extra hours or even on weekends? Yeah, sure. I'd never say "no" out of fear of being rejected. However, some three weeks ago, this one "friend" of mine who's always struggling to get by asked me for some cash, and I said no. For the first time in my life (I think?) I said no, plain and simple, no apologies. He just said "okay." \n\nToday my boss texted me, asking if I'm available to attend a workshop on Saturday. I said no. She said "thank you for letting me know!" \n\nIt may not seem like a lot for many people, but for me this is a *HUGE* deal and I couldn't be happier!
## 411 **Disclaimer**: Spoilers for 2.6 content.\n\n# Introduction\n\n3 months ago I predicted that [the Chasm had a piece of Celestia](https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Lore/comments/s6gue7/how_the_chasm_sal_vindagnyr_and_tsurumi_island/) in it. I also tried to link that event to the ancient civilizations we see scattered through Teyvat. With the introduction of Version 2.6 and The Chasm, I have a lot, and I mean ***A LOT*** of new evidence to work with. The Chasm is any theorist's wet dream, I swear.\n\nToday I bring to you a follow-up of this old theory of mine. If you didn't read it already, **I strongly recommend you do so**. It was the product of hours of research and even though the second part is slightly off, it still has important details that I will be referencing in this new post. Otherwise this post would be much longer and had to repeat stuff from the old one.\n\nI will also assume you've read the [Before Sun and Moon](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/The_Byakuyakoku_Collection#Vol._2) book, which dates the most ancient description of Teyvat's origins.\n\n# The Keys to everything\n\nIt is no overstatement when I say I found two pieces of lore description that fit everything in line for a concise timeline. The first one is something that I haven't seen anyone talking about until now, but for me, who wrote the previous post, it couldn't be more important.\n\nI am talking about the new domain, the [Lost Valley](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/The_Lost_Valley) description.\n\n>The ancient ritual grounds were buried beneath the earth amidst a cataclysm that tore heaven and earth asunder before being uplifted by the descent of an alien object, and finally unveiled by a destructive battle that resulted from a betrayal. Nonetheless, those who once frequented this place are no more.\n\nNotice the language used to describe the first event that buried the ritual grounds. "\\[...\\]amidst a cataclysm that tore heaven and earth asunder". Does it ring a bell?\n\nHere.\n\n>**Eboshi:** Before Byakuyakoku fell into the deep sea, the whole world had a single unified culture. \n> \n>**Eboshi:** Later, a great war broke out, **in which the heavens capsized and the earth was ripped asunder**. This land was then plunged into the dark ocean depths. \n> \n>\024 [Eboshi](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Eboshi)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>"The Funerary Year" \n> \n>The second throne of the heavens came, and war was rekindled, as it was in the world's creation. That day, **the heavens collapsed and the earth was rent asunder**. Our ancestors and their ancestral land fell into this place during that conflict.The era of darkness had begun. \n> \n>\024 "[Before Sun and Moon](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/The_Byakuyakoku_Collection#Vol._2)", The Byakuyakoku Collection\n\nThe way the Lost Valley description separates this event from "the descent of an alien object" is the key piece to debunk the second part of my last theory that linked both events, however it helps us to have hard evidence and know these are two different occurrences. An event so grand it can only be described by three different sources as something that could break heaven and earth alike. I will refer to it as the "great war".\n\nThe second key piece of evidence can be found in the [Solar Relic of the Vermillion Hereafter](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Vermillion_Hereafter#Solar_Relic) artifact set. It calls back to another known "calamity" regarding the three Moon Sisters (I will talk about them later for those unaware).\n\n>It is said that Rex Laps was yet young, the sun was a chariot that raced across the earth. When the three sisters of the night sky were martyred in a calamity, the solar chariot fell into a deep gorge.\n\nThis is the first time ANYTHING related to the Moon Sisters have a point in history we can look at. In this case, Rex Lapis as "yet young". The sun chariot only fell when the sisters died, but it already "raced across the earth" when Rex Lapis was alive. It means the moons and sun tragedy only happened *after* Rex Lapis' birth.\n\nDo you remember what other piece of lore refers to this point in history? Well, it was in my last theory:\n\n>In a past beyond memory, when even *Rex Lapis would still have been young*, a star fell from the sky into the barren plains west of Liyue.\n\nEven with the new evidence we have, there isn't anything that indicates this star to be something other than the Nail, so I am still under the assumption that the "star" is the Nail we find in the Chasm.\n\nWith these pieces of evidence, I assume it is fair to say the so called "calamity" of the Three Moon Sisters is somewhat related to the pieces of Celestia dropping from the sky, as they are major events that happened around a speculative young age of Rex Lapis.\n\n# The Moon Sisters\n\nFor those unaware, we have old pieces of evidence pointing towards the existence of an old Seelie civilization and the presence of three Moon Sisters that fell in a calamity. Here are the sources:\n\n>"Long ago, three bright moons once hung high in the night sky. These three moons were sisters, their years numbering more than that of the Geo Archon and their year of birth dating before the very bedrock upon which Liyue Harbor now rests. \n> \n>The moons were daughters of prose and song, sovereign over the night sky. They navigated the heavens above in their silver carriage, alternating with one another thrice a month. If the reign was not promptly passed from one sister to the next, a terrible disaster would occur that very day. \n> \n>These three luminous moons shared but one love, the stars of daybreak. Only at the fleeting moments when day and night converged could one of the three sisters pass the fading stars and gaze upon the chambers of the morning stars. Moments later, as the new dawn would break over the horizon, the carriage would quickly ferry the night's sister away. \n> \n>The three sisters shared an equal affection for their one and only love, much like the affection they shared for one another. But this was all before the world was smashed against the tides of great calamity. \n> \n>With time, disasters overturned the sovereign carriage and laid ruin to the halls of the stars. The three sisters of the night turned against one another, leading to their eternal parting by death. Only one of their pale corpses now remains, ever shedding its cold light..." \n> \n>\024 "[Moonlit Bamboo Forest](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Moonlit_Bamboo_Forest#Vol._3)", Vol. 3\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Or that once there were three bright moons in the night sky named Aria, Sonnet and Canon, sisters who were parted by death in a great catastrophe. \n> \n>\024 "[Heart's Desire](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Heart%27s_Desire#Vol._3)", Vol. 3\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Another old legend told in the mountain villages claims that there was once a time, before the adepti had come into being, when the seelie who meander in the mountains knew an altogether different existence, one in which they had beautiful physical forms and possessed great wisdom. That era, when the seelie roamed the mountains and strolled through the grand halls in the cities of old, is said to date back even further that the days when Rex Lapis fought bitterly against countless rival gods. \n> \n>At a far-flung moment in the distant past, the ancestor of the seelie met a traveler from afar, with whom they swore an oath of union witnessed by the three sisters of the Lunar Palace. Just thirty days later, a sudden disaster struck. The seelie and their lover fled into exile as the world collapsed around them, fleeing until the terrible calamity caught up with and seized them. Their cruel punishment was to be separated from each other for eternity and to have their memories wiped without a trace. \n> \n>\024 "[Records of Jueyun](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Records_of_Jueyun#Vol._4)", Vol. 4\n\nIt is also interesting to note that in the last piece of evidence, when mentioning Rex Lapis, they also don't say it is older than his birth or something along these lines, only that it happened before the Archon War, indicating that they indeed are ancient, but not as ancient as to exist before gods. The Moons, however, were born before him, as pointed in the first piece of evidence.\n\nWe also have reason to believe the ancient people of Tsurumi Island to exist while the Three Moons were alive. [This thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Lore/comments/qbj0b6/tsurumi_murals_revisit/) has a translation for their murals and you can see how we have 3 distinct paintings of the moon, as well as three passages mentioning the moon.\n\n# Connecting the dots\n\nHere is a summary of our "Timeline of ancient big events". Until now we have the first major event being Phanes against the Seven Foreigners, mentioned in the [Before Sun and Moon](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/The_Byakuyakoku_Collection#Vol._2) book. After that we have the creation of humanity and the great war that tore heaven and earth and buried both the "Lost Valley" and Enkanomiya, separating the unified civilization. The next big event would be the cause for the "calamity" of the Moon Sisters and the reason that the Nails started being thrown, as they supposedly started around the same time.\n\nSo what could be the reasons behind that? I think I found some evidence regarding it and making me connect more dots.\n\nThanks to everyone in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact_Lore/comments/tuziu4/full_chasm_purple_writing_translation/), we were able to translate the Chasm's purple text on the walls. The first two lines go alongside something like:\n\n>***The dwellers in heaven use the thorns*** \n> \n>***To pass judgement***\n\nAssuming "thorns" to be the Nails, we can see this message is about Celestia using them to judge other nations. After all, all three occurrences of Celestial pieces falling only targeted nations; the Chasm's City, Sal Vindagnyr and Tsurumi Island.\n\nWhat would they be "judging", though?\n\nXamaran, the big mushroom thing we find in the Chasm, has one interesting line of dialogue that can help us.\n\n>**Xamaran:** ...Ignorance might be a blessing, and knowledge might bring forth calamity...\n\nAdditionally, when talking about the Cataclysm from 500 years ago, [Ei mentions](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObSG4OZby14):\n\n>But I've seen a nation stride forward and lose everything to the Heavenly Principles.\n\nIt was already a common assumption between the community that Celestia was nuking civilizations that were "too advanced". I do think these pieces of evidence can support that, but why not take a step forward and link this event to another well known and old piece of lore that doesn't find anywhere concise in the timeline? The "Prayers of" artifacts that mention human civilizations that could interact with the gods.\n\nOne example:\n\n>They say that, once upon a time, the people of the land could hear revelations from the heavens directly.The envoys of the gods walked among benighted humanity then. The eternal ice had just begun to thaw, and the first fires were still new. \n> \n>\024 [Prayers for Illumination](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Prayers_for_Illumination).\n\nThese artifact sets mention how humanity was prosperous and had a close relationship with the gods. These could have been our known ancient civilizations, that painted murals with such adoration for the heavens and their blessings. These civilizations were so far from one another after the "great war" that separated the civilizations (mentioned in the second part of my last theory), but still had similar architectures thanks for the influence of the first culture of humans.\n\nAnd then, as mentioned in the [Prayers for Wisdom](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Prayers_for_Wisdom) piece, they did something wrong. The "knowledge" that "might bring forth calamity".\n\n>People enjoyed untold wisdom, and that wisdom was their boon. Their prosperity brought pride and ambition, and the mind to question. \n> \n>So they questioned the heavens' authority, and schemed to enter the garden of gods. And though they had promised to the people divine love, prosperity and wisdom, the envoys of heaven were angry. For to question eternity was forbidden, For earth to challenge sky, inexpiable.\n\nIt also links with one passage of the Before Sun and Moon:\n\n>"The Year of Jubilee" \n> \n>If there was hunger, the heavens would bring down food and rain. If there was poverty, the earth would bring forth its riches. If melancholy were to spread, the heavens would reply with their voices. The one taboo was to succumb to temptation. But the path to temptation had already been sealed.\n\nThe "taboo", the "temptation", it all must have been the thirst for knowledge. It was sealed the moment humanity came into being.\n\n# In short...\n\nAfter Phanes battled with The Second Who Came and the single, unified culture ceased to exist, several civilizations, now known to us as ancient civilizations, spread through Teyvat. With time, they would question the heavens or seek for more knowledge than they had to, thus invoking the wrath of the gods.\n\nThis event was responsible for the Nail targeted attacks and an event known as "calamity" that destroyed also the Seelie civilization and eventually killed the Moon Sisters. Celestia would repeat this same attack at Khaenri'ah around 500 years ago.\n\nI do believe this is the closest we have to a timeline of events that not only explains Celestia's reasons to attack civilizations, it also links a lot of old lore that we could not find the place to fit.\n\nThere is still a lot of random pieces of interesting lore spread through the Chasm, however those are the ones I found to be the most relevant for the timeline discussion. Feel free do discuss these findings in the comments and maybe we can reach new conclusions from it!
## 421 I absolutely despise when anyone else is the family uses the excuse "he's my nephew/he's my grandson" as a reason to try to guilt us parents into letting them do something with our child! Like he's not mine and my husband's son first before he's anything else to anyone? He's our god damn baby and we choose what he can/can't do and who can or can't be around him.\n\n Neither me nor my husband are comfortable with anyone watching our 4 month old son alone yet. He was a preemie and also our first so we're very particular, and I feel like we have a right to be. \n\nMy husband's sister texted me saying she "didn't understand why she couldn't keep her nephew" (OUR son) without us all hanging out and her being able to spend time with him in a group setting instead. We've also got concerns about her being able to feed and burp him because any time she's been around to do either, it overall doesn't seem like she knows what she's doing yet and ends up handing him back to one of us to finish the job. We also just haven't gotten to the point where we need to pawn him off on anyone yet. I love watching him all day and we both love spending all of our time with him, we don't want to give any of that time up yet. \n\nWe set the rules, YOU follow them. WE are his parents, you're not, and everyone else needs to respect boundaries and the parents wishes. \n\nRant over.
## 431 Not to be confused with the missing miner Uncle He (>!find him near Underground Waterway!<)\n\nIf you check the board near one of the mining camps, you\031ll be able to read through a few announcements. Buried under the newer ones is this old notice.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/iioknooth4r81.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f75e530ad6bbdf7154e61ab684fcbce1930db9c\n\n[ Erge& Erge& where have I seen that recently?](https://preview.redd.it/5zrlto2vh4r81.png?width=974&format=png&auto=webp&s=60abfbcbd17fb9f1d8dd38ae03cf07fae18445ac)\n\nThen I remembered the recent Chasm Spelunkers quest, where you save Clitopho. Erge is the one who orders the order to capture Clitopho and he seems to guy in charge of this group.\n\n[ Among the Chasm Treasure Hoarders in the quest, only one has any battle dialogue, making him standout. ](https://preview.redd.it/7uujnwj1i4r81.png?width=974&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f73c715f0b8b67eb2e6bd1ce3e75c720cb17b85)\n\nErge\031s name has actually been around since the game\031s release. He is constantly mentioned in the signs around Mingyun Village.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/nsm4f3gmj4r81.png?width=578&format=png&auto=webp&s=769cef79c1e34037fa48ea9d49149a0a43cc343d\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/xp7rriqtj4r81.png?width=561&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d817c284779f273b8f0e55e6b3cced94a7b7eef\n\n[ These aren\031t all of the messages mentioning him.](https://preview.redd.it/ggl86kiuj4r81.png?width=575&format=png&auto=webp&s=38cd1fbbebaca4cb2074f4df16a031e8b384d45a)\n\nBased on the others, Erge disappeared at around the same time when mining was dying down in Mingyun. He disappeared before the other Migyun miners were transferred to the Chasm, and before the others started looking for Hong\031s hidden treasure (The Tree who Stands Alone quest).\n\n&#x200B;\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/dx4v33pzj4r81.png?width=661&format=png&auto=webp&s=dad414aab617e9f5342b1761ee9771d3f3f65efc\n\n[ The signs in the Chasm and in Mingyun Village cite that Erge disappeared because he forgot to bring a finch, but this seems to imply that he challenged a hilichurl&?](https://preview.redd.it/rrkcv0k0k4r81.png?width=669&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7f3d9400e270a8d24a2cf28f52f6cf631181856)\n\nIt doesn\031t say whether his disappearance was really an accident, or if he ditched the other miners to look for treasure. The other miners at Mingyun seemed to really mourn him, as there are other messages that mention him and how they wished he was with them. Even after transferring to the Chasm, they still made a notice to remind each other of his \034example\035.\n\nText in Mingyun shows that the miners were told to prioritize the team\031s safety, building a certain sense of brotherhood (some call each other \030comrade\031). Now, Erge works with the treasure hoarders and also seems to have his own sense of comradeship with them (he calls them \030brothers\031).\n\n**TLDR:** Miner from Mingyun Village was thought to have gone missing due to gas/hilichurl incident. Miner is mourned by his fellow miners. Miner is sighted in the Chasm, now as a treasure hoarder boss.
## 441 *EDIT* Thank you all for your hard honesty. I didn\031t think my boyfriend was upset because of how what I said relates to our relationship. The friend came back 30 minutes ago, drunk like a skunk and passed out on our floor. I\031ll talk with my boyfriend and tell him I don\031t feel sorry what I said. I edited this post to include fake names.\n\n**EDIT** karma was the wrong word to use. I changed it lol\n\n**My boyfriend - Aaron\n\nHis friend - John\n\nHis friend\031s wife - Debra**\n\nHello I feel bad right now and I want to know if I should be. My boyfriend who I will be referring to as Aaron is mad at something I said and wants apology from me but I don\031t regret what I said. Me and Aaron (31M) have been together for 4 years. He\031s a sweetheart and I love him. He has a best friend(30M) who I will be referring to as \034John\035, is like a brother to him. Aaron and John have been friends since middle school and have went through a lot together, including alcoholism and a cocaine addiction. Aaron is sober of both but his John is still a drinker but sober from cocaine. \n\nJohn is married to the woman(34F) he cheated on his 7 year girlfriend (27F) with. From here on, I will be referring to his wife as Debra. His LTGF was pregnant with his baby at the time he met Debra and him and his girlfriend have a 7 year old child together. He said that they had a ONS and she became pregnant so he was \034stuck\035 with her. My John has 4 children with 3 women. One of those women was his now wife Debra, who he impregnated when his LTGF was 3 months pregnant. He chose the OW and married her 2 years later. He pays child support for 2 children (one sadly was conceived when he was 16 and was given up for adoption and the other one is with Debra). This never sat right with me but I want to support my boyfriend who still wanted to be friends with him so I\031m still friendly to him. Aaron said he doesn\031t like John\031s life choices and have been telling him to not do the things he does but John drunkenly does it anyway. \n\nDebra was a coworker of mine that introduced me to Aaron. She cheated on her abusive husband with my John and left the marriage for him. According to her ex, she cheated before and he gave her a chance, then cheated on him again with John. According to her, her husband cheated first and she cheated in revenge but fell in love. All of this bothers me but it\031s not my life. I overheard John saying he\031ll never cheat on his wife because he actually loves her. \n\nWell, Debra is also a drinker and has been going out more often with her friends to drink while he stayed home with their child. She\031s been away longer and leaving to drink with her friends more often. John stopped drinking for a while and has been trying to stay sober to encourage his wife to do the same. She continued drinking and I heard him voicing concerns she was cheating on him. \n\nOne night, a few days ago, John called me in hysterics asking to talk to Aaron because his phone was dead. I asked him what\031s wrong and he sobbed, \034she cheated on me!\035 I gave the phone to my boyfriend. I heard the conversation because of how loud John was talking. He said he noticed mysterious transactions on their card while she was out and found a transaction to a hotel. He went to the hotel and sat in the lobby until she walked out hand-in-hand with another man. He said he punched this guy and shook his wife before leaving. He was sobbing and shouting through the phone. Aaron listened and was quiet through all this. Then he finally said, \034you know a cheater cheats, right?\035 John shouts, \034But I\031ve been nothing but faithful to her! I love her with all my heart!\035 He sobs. I left the room because I couldn\031t feel sorry for him. He has monkey branched in EVERY relationship he\031s been in. Debra said it was \034once\035 and she was \034drunk\035 and that it meant \034nothing\035 blah blah trickle truth blah blah \034I love only you\035 blah blah. You all know how a cheater lies. \n\nJohn started drinking again and has been sleeping on our couch while Debra called/texted/emailed him to come back home every day. A few days ago, Aaron was able to convince him to take a shower (since D-day he has done 0 self care). We were talking about the situation and I said, \034frankly, I don\031t really feel sorry for him. Now he knows what\031s it like to be cheated on\035. Aaron became aggravated and said, \034NO-ONE deserves to be cheated on!\035 He said that my reasoning was spiteful. I guess he\031s right but I believe people end up sleeping in the bed that they made. John cheated on every girlfriend he\031s had. I remember him bragging about how many women he has impregnated. \n\nAaron has been upset with me ever since. And I found out he told John what I said. This morning, John looked at me, then he looked at the floor in shame. I felt like it was because of my statement. Should I apologize to Aaron and John for what I said? Thank you!\n\nTL:DT - my boyfriend\031s best friend is a serial cheater and married his OW. The OW cheated on my BF\031s friend and I said he deserved it. My boyfriend and his friend are upset with me and I don\031t know how to step forward.
## 451 1 (15f) turned 16 on Sunday and I decided instead of doing a whole party and whatnot, to just have a dinner at an all time favorite restaurant of mine. I invited two friends that are really close (practically family) and my close relatives (9 total including my dad, mom, and brother).\n\nMy parents are divorced so him alone being at my birthday causes tension because of what he's done.\n\nMy dad has a gf who he's been seeing since around September 2021. We'll call her F. Me and F get along fine, but I have no interest in building a relationship with her because I have all the people I need. Call me harsh idc, it's my decision.\n\nWell when my dad asked to see what the plans are and who was invited, I listed the people and didn't mention F. He asked no questions. The next day he called to tell me they wanted to take me to dinner on Friday (April 1st) and wanted me to decide on a restaurant. I let him know that I had a softball game that day and it wasn't gonna be over until 8:30-ish. Well I never decided on a\nplace (that was my bad, and I am sorry about that) and during the game I texted him that we could just get ice cream because I would be sweaty and tired. He never responded so I thought we weren't doing anything. \n\nMy brother (17) picked me up after the game and said we'd have to get ready once we get home. Turns out we were doing the whole ice cream thing. \n\nWell when my dad picked us up, there was no F or her kids around so I naturally asked where she was. He told me that she didn't feel like coming after all. This kinda ticked me off because I really only came because I knew my dad wanted this whole dinner so that she wouldn't feel left out and to settle the land yk.\n\nAfter ice cream, he dropped us off and my brother ended up telling me that when my dad told F that he was the only one going to the actual dinner on Sunday, he told my brother that he could see she was upset about it. This also ticked me off because it's my birthday and I did all the planning so I should be the one who says who can and can't go. I said nothing and went about my night. That\031s not even all. Turns out she had gifts for me but since she wasn\031t invited to the dinner, I couldn\031t have them.\n\nNow I can't stop wondering if I was the AH. So, AITA?
## 461 Hello, Reddit! Victoria from Ukraine here. \n\n\nToday I'm too depressed to post in my usual manner, but I promised to keep you updated and I brought some good news. My friend Andriy, who was trapped in Kyiv region for a month, texted me today. He's alive and going home now. I can't imagine what he's been through and if he'll ever recover from it. Thanks to everyone who prayed for him and wished luck, looks like it helped. I attached the screenshot with translation in the end of the post. \n\n\nMy father and sister are still in Chernigiv though. I couldn't reach them, dad's phone is out of service. I'm monitoring the news constantly, they say Russian pigs are retreating from Chernigiv, this gives me hope my family and the dogs will be evacuated soon. \n\n\nRegarding the massacre of civilians in Bucha, Irpin and Gostomel. I could have said I can't believe something like that happened just 100 km away from the town I live in, but since February 24 nothing surprises me anymore. Here in Ukraine we knew something terrible was going on in those occupied towns, but seeing photo and video evidence completely broke us. The worst thing is that it's not nearly the end of it, once we free the rest of our territories, we'll find out about even more horrific war crimes. \n\n\nBtw, the Russian pigs who had been viciously killing innocent citizens of Bucha, are now in Belarus where they rushed to the post offices to send goods they stole to their native Bumfuck in the middle of Siberia. Those gold earrings will look good on you, Svetlana, once you clean blood off of them. \n\n\nI guess my feelings at this point were perfectly described in this facebook post which I translated for you, so please spare a minute: \n\n\n>In recent years, there has been a trend in the film and game industry that pure evil is uninteresting, that the bad guy needs to evoke some positive emotions, at least be stylish or suffer from a childhood trauma, so that the image is more.. credible. The pure 100% evil doesn't exist, it's a fiction. \nThe orcs from "The Lord of the Rings" gave way to the stylish Joker and Cruella DeVille. Evil ceased to be absolute, because the spectator ceased to believe in absolute evil, as well as in absolute good, to be fair. \nAnd so absolute evil came to my land. Rapists, murderers, marauders, poorly dressed freaks, who flooded my land with blood, pain and tears of children, dusted my soil with ashes and mines, made my cities living torches. \nThere is nothing positive about them. There is not a single ray of light, not a single drip of good. They are not even human in the sense that philosophers and founders of religions meant. They are evil. Absolute, dumb, hungry and dirty. \nHowever, the spectators all over the world do not believe in the existence of pure evil. And they try to find something human in it. "It's all Putin's fault, not Russian soldiers'! That's all coming from ignorance! The propaganda is to blame!", and so on and so forth. \nBut this is a lie. \n**Children were killed by Russian soldiers.** \n**Women were raped by Russian soldiers.** \n**Civilians were tortured by Russian soldiers.** \n**Russian soldiers are the ones who burnt, destroyed and bombed.** \n> \n>We are fighting evil. The absolute evil on our land. And we will destroy this evil no matter what.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI should have been crying but there are no tears. Is it bad? Am I mentally done? \nThank you for reading this far. And may God bring you joy, because I don't have any. \n\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[me: don't want to bother you rn, but send me something so I know it's really you. Andriy: it's me, we went from Chornobyl area to some town with mobile service.](https://preview.redd.it/cpa557j2hdr81.jpg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d07dd385956cd0f2f96d32f1aba69bee168fd539)
## 471 Hey, thought I'd share my findings so far - I've tested a lot of less common games and scored them using the following scoring system:\n\n1. The game would not load at all\n2. The game is currently a 'poor experience'. This was anything that contributed to a game being unpleasant to play, which could be; poor controls, performance, graphics or configurable options. This could also mean **too much fan noise** detracting from the experience, so is a subjective view at best!\n3. The game loaded and played fine. However, the experience could be improved with some optimisation\n4. If you like this game and you have a Deck then you should have no concerns about installing and playing this title.\n\nHappy to answer any questions about specific titles! I have about 800 games in my Steam library (many 'hidden gems') so if you want to know if a certain game works please ask.\n\nI have a 64GB Deck with a [512GB](https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09D3LP52K) card installed. All games ran off the card.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n|**Game**|**Score**|**Notes**|\n|:-|:-|:-|\n|Absolute Drift|4|Works really well for Deck. great controls and super fun game|\n|Aperture Desk Job|3|Too much fps stutter for me|\n|Battle Brothers|3|One of my faves. Not quite got the controls sorted, but a good play|\n|Battle Chasers: Nightwar|4|Perfect Deck game|\n|Between The Stars|1|DOA|\n|Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night|4|Excellent experience, smooth as butter|\n|Bloons TD6|4|Really good with touch controls|\n|Broforce|3|Worked fine, even managed to play some online (though it was a struggle!)|\n|Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons|2|No subtitles is the reason for the mark down. I've been informed that sound isn't needed though so score is harsh.|\n|Celeste|4|Another platformer, great controls and excellent performance|\n|Chasm|3|This was just 'fine'. Probs because it was tested against some heavyweight platformers that are better games|\n|Convoy|3|Works pretty well. FTL with cars if you're interested.|\n|Core Keeper|3|Didn't play for long but felt like the smaller UI would impact extended sessions|\n|Creeper World 3 Arc Eternal|2|No controller support, touch controls not precise enough|\n|Dark Souls III|3|Pretty good, not amazing. Will need to tweak controls a bit to get round the Deck buttons better|\n|Darkest Dungeon|2|Everything is a bit too small|\n|Darksiders Warmastered Edition|3|Game feels bland. Works fine but poor graphics on Deck add to dated feel|\n|Defence Grid 2|4|Really good experience, TD games should be pretty strong for Deck|\n|Defenders Quest: Valley of the Forgotten|2|It works but not an amazing experience navigating the UI|\n|Divinity Original Sin 2|2|Inventory management PTSD. No way I'd want to deal with that on touchpad|\n|Element TD2|3|Relies on touchpad, but works well with regular wave breaks. Scaling UI leads to loss of access to critical buttons|\n|Enter The Gungeon|3||\n|Euro Truck Simulator 2|3|This was frustrating. I spent 10mins trying to invert the camera and then gave up. Otherwise could be a good one.|\n|Expeditions Viking|1|Didnt load at all|\n|Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark|4|Again one for all Deck owners|\n|Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster|3|Not bad at all, didnt play far but worked fine|\n|For The King|3|Bit too much micro but generally worked fine|\n|FTL Faster Than Light|3|Controls could be a bit better|\n|Graveyard Keeper|4|Excellent experience|\n|Hades|4|100% definitely built for Deck|\n|Heroes of Hammerwatch|2|Loaded fine, but everything was just too small|\n|Hollow Knight|4|No surprises, this works really well|\n|Ikaruga|4|Amazing game on Deck|\n|Jamestown|3|Very old game now but worked absolutely fine|\n|Lego City Undercover|3|Works and loads, but fps is a bit stuttery. Still&great game! May run better on Proton Experimental|\n|Mark of the Ninja Remastered|4|One of the best games I tested|\n|Mass Effect: Legendary Edition|4|Surprisingly this worked really well!|\n|Mini Metro|2|No controller support, touch controls not precise enough|\n|Monster Sanctuary|4|One of my faves and delighted that it works so well|\n|Monster Train|4|Surprisingly much better than Slay the Spire experience. This should be in every Deck owners library|\n|Neoverse|3|Works fine, font a bit small|\n|Nova Drift|3|Text a bit small but otherwise perfectly playable. Game is paused when you have to read which helps|\n|One Step From Eden|3|Weird game but works well|\n|PGA Tour 2k21|3|Loads fine, controls seem alright|\n|Portal 2|3|Plays OK, bit janky. I'm sure it'll be improved|\n|Puzzle Quest|3|Great with touch controls during game. Map and menus bit tricky to navigate|\n|Rebel Galaxy|4|This was a lot of fun on Deck|\n|Redout: Enhanced Edition|4|Another older racer that works really well|\n|Rimworld|2|On the fence with this - loads fine but too much reliance on precise mouse controls to be a good experience on Deck|\n|Risk of Rain 2|3|Depends how good your controller fps skills are! Or just play Huntress :)|\n|Road Redemption|4|Works really well for such an old title|\n|Rogue Legacy 2|4|Will be playing a lot of this|\n|Salt and Sanctuary|3|Not bad at all, just didnt translate perfectly to a smaller screen|\n|Satisfactory|1|Couldn\031t get it to work|\n|Scarlet Nexus|3|Loads and plays fine|\n|Shadow Tactics: Blade of the Shogun|2|Loads and plays but graphics have to be turned down too much to be playable|\n|Sid Meier's Civilization V|3|Plays fine, mostly played in strategic map mode to save on battery juice (less to render)|\n|Slay The Spire|2|Disappointing control experience. Had to rely on touch controls and constantly played cards I didn\031t want to, or got stuck with card selection. Could be amazing with some work|\n|Spelunky|3|Could have been a bit smoother but overall pretty good|\n|Star Realms|3|Great with touch controls. Just a little slower to play as you have to check card text|\n|Stardew Valley|4|Deck GOTY for many - plays extremely well|\n|Steamworld Dig 2|4|Another platformer, another max score|\n|Subnautica|2|Didn\031t like this on controller on a small screen|\n|Terraria|4|No surprises with this title - works very well on Deck|\n|The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt|2|Couldn't find a good balance between graphics, performance and experience. Too much fan noise to get acceptable visuals.|\n|This War of Mine|1|Didn't load|\n|Torchlight II|2|Controls were terrible|\n|Undermine|3|Just issue with smaller screen here, works fine though|\n|Vampire Survivors|2|Fine until you get to 15mins +. Then FPS drops considerably|\n|Wargroove|4|Worked really well|\n|Wreckfest|2|Too stuttery for my tastes|\n|WWE 2k22|1|No bueno|\n|X4: Foundations|2|Runs fine, controls are not great though. I think with a bit more dedication to controls this could be my most played game|\n|Yoku's Island Express|3|Works fine but everything is a bit small|\n|Snowrunner|4|Initially scored a 2, but using FSR and 540p resolution makes this perfectly playable. Limit to 5W using TDP limiter to extend battery life from 3 hours to 4 hours.|\n\nI tested a few more last night:\n\n* Dragons Age Origins - Scored a 3, works fine with community config but pulls a lot of juice for such an old game. Temps we're 60+ on lowest settings\n* No Mans Sky - 4, works great\n* Frozen Synapse - 1, didn't load\n* Fallout New Vegas 4, works wonderfully: med settings, 8TDP, 60fps <50c temps\n* Cloudpunk - 2, game runs but temps are 60+ on low. Sound isn't precached so lots of little loading delays as conversations are loaded. Very immersion breaking, but should be easy to fix for Dev.\n* 10000000- easy 4, works great with touch controls\n\nAnd a few more queued up for tonight:\n\n* Age of Empires II (2013) - 1, whilst the game does load into the menu, I couldn't get past validating mods. I had no mods installed.\n* Total War: Warhammer - 2, launcher warns about incompatible system. Managed to start a battle bit had trouble controlling the camera. Unsurprisingly draws lots of power \n* The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt (Retest) - 3, No FSR is a shame. Med settings, with low shadows and water, 6W limit, 30FPS is not a bad experience, and gives 3+ hours runtime. It's totally playable (contrary to my first attempt!). Once FSR is available then I think this will run much better.\n* Age of Wonders III - 1, can't give this any higher as I was presented with a launcher that required an account. It probably works but I've no desire to create an account.\n* Battlefleet Gothic: Armada - 2, visual performance is fine with FSR@540 and 5W TDP 30fps. But the text is far too small to play comfortably.\n* Northgard - 3, although apparently this title is unsupported! It ran pretty smooth, text was kinda small but playable and very good temps @8W. No FSR.\n* Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion - 3, works fine even with a launcher. Good community config available.\n* Company of Heroes 2 - 3, starts with a warning about unsupported graphics driver. However loads and plays fine with some pretty simple controls. Probably the best RTS I tested.\n* Shadowrun Returns - 3, loads fine, but FSR didn't work at 540p. Regardless, runs fine with decent enough controls.\n* Shadowrun Dragonfall - Directors Cut - 3, same engine as Shadowrun Returns.\n* Shadowrun Hong Kong: Extended Edition - 3, same engine as Shadowrun Returns.\n* Torchlight 1 - 2, Runs fine out the box with FSR ability. Controls are not good though, in particular the left stick can be used to move your character but only within 1/4 of the screen. Probably an FSR/scaling bug and may be fixable by tweaking resolutions.\n* Batman Arkham Asylum - 1, as anticipated, didnt load past the launcher. Apparantly there is an experimental branch OS that allows this to work\n* Batman Arkham City GOTY - 4, surprisingly this worked really well! Good controls, FSR, low draw wih 43c temps @ 30FPS and all very smooth. Another example of an older open world game performing very well.\n* Dawn of War 1 Soulstorm - \n* Dawn of War 2 - \n* Dawn of War 3 - \n* Wreckfest (restest) - 3, upgraded on a restest as managed to get the game to run both smoother and quieter by playing with graphics options (basically everything off!) and setting 6W limit on 30FPS. It certainly could be better, but I can see myself playing it on Deck now which for me is the difference between scoring a 2 and a 3\n* YuGiOh Master Duel - 3, Don't really know much about this game but tested it on request. Loaded straight in, did a few tutorials and it all ran absolutely fine. Controls seemed pretty tight on the trackpad.
## 481 I'm getting back to a project that I had been working on in the fall, then life happened, so now there's a bunch of code that needs to be understood again, and I gotta figure out what was working and what the bleeding edges were so I can get this thing finished!\n\nI've been meaning to get around to learning how to incorporate automated testing into my repertoire of dev skills. I'm convinced by Dave Farley, Martin Fowler, and plenty others that this is essential. And it's not hard to understand in the abstract, but I had just never gotten over the hump to actually figure out all the details to make it actually work in my own dev environment. \n\nSo a short You Tube search found Corey Schafer's tutorial on using the unittest framework. I could pause and restart the video as he did things, and take as long as I needed to duplicate the simplest of steps. It's amazing just how many little details have to be just right for anything to work at all (not a surprise to anyone on this sub)! It was helpful that his dev environment is same as mine (sublime text). Once I got the trivial examples to work (about half way thru his video), I could establish a similar setup to work with my own project.\n\nAnd now I just have a browser tab open to docs.python.org/3/library/unittest.html and I have just enough understanding from the tutorial to have a "hook" into that, and can navigate around there to help me blunder my way thru the docs and trying out tests. Clearly there will be plenty to learn, and one day I'll look back and cringe at the quality of the tests I wrote now, but it's a milestone!\n\nWhen this project is finished, test coverage won't be anywhere close to 100%, but it will be enough to satisfy me for my purposes. I'm probably not the first to discover that writing tests isn't a bad way to learn about unfamiliar code (or relearn once-familiar code, memory fades after a few short months)! \n\nFor my next project, I may even try the TDD (test driven development) approach, writing tests before actually writing code. One step at a time ... \n\nNo question here - just felt good to do this, wanted to share.
## 491 I\031ve recently finished one of the new quests, called The Millennial Mountains, which gave more crumbs on the Yaksha. So, I\031ve thought of compiling everything we\031ve found about him\n\n# The Yaksha\031s Wish\n\nIn Minlin there are some ruins hiding a Yaksha\031s treasure. He even left a message, saying that anyone who solves the puzzle can take it. He even gives us his name, Bosacius. Him and Alatus (a.k.a. Xiao) are the only ones left. It seems he was looking for a place to die (\034*And for my part, I wish to depart, to be done with this world.*").\n\n# Yakshas: The Guardian Adepti\n\nThis reveals that 3 out of the 5 Yakshas perished. The Electro one, who has 4 arms, succumbed to the darkness and went missing.\n\n# Tenacity of the Millelith set\n\nThe lore tells us about some Millelith soldiers who fought in the Chasm, during the Cataclysm 500 years ago. They were joined by an unnamed Yaksha. Nobody knew who he was. Some speculated that he wasn\031t even under the command of Rex Lapis. And that he was paying for a sin he committed. Nevertheless, it is implied he died in the Chasm, with the Millelith soldiers.\n\n# Calamity Queller\n\nTurns out it was wielded by the unnamed Yaksha and was lost with him in the Chasm. I guess it was found at some point, since it mentions people who used the spear afterwards met similar fates. And its current holder is Shenhe.\n\nIt was forged from an ominous aqua-colored crystal found in the Chasm. Interestingly, the description also mentions it was forged \034using materials that are not from this world\035. I initially thought of Lumenstone (yeah, I went to read the lore only today), but it isn\031t described as ominous or anything similar.\n\nThe person who found the ore and asked to forge the weapon was practicing exorcism, but it\031s unknown whether it was the Yaksha or someone else.\n\n# Vermillion Hereafter set\n\nAppearance-wise, it\031s clear this is connected to the Electro Yaksha, especially the circlet which resembles the mask. As for the lore, well there\031s not as much as I wanted it to be. Or maybe there\031s something I didn\031t realize is a clue. Either way, here are some key points:\n\n* The unnamed Yaksha has 4 arms, just like the Electro one.\n* He was travelling and exorcising evil.\n* People living near the Chasm asked the Yaksha to help them, offering him wine. He didn\031t say anything and \034*turned east, disregarding all attempts to make them stay*\035 So, I guess this implies he initially wanted to silently refuse.\n* The next line, however, \034*But the simple crystal-sand wine cup that the guest shared with the tribal elders remains to this day a testament to their pact*\035 might indicate he accepted in the end. Well, we know he did based on previous info.\n\n# The Millennial Mountains\n\nIn this quest we find a memorial dedicated to the fallen Millelith soldiers. There\031s a legend saying that if we place 6 specific offerings, we will obtain a special treasure. Here\031s a picture of all the items, from my inventory.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/khqvnirgg4r81.png?width=980&format=png&auto=webp&s=149c590c664d5f657cdc912005be17a5a7b690bd\n\nThey kinda parallel the 5 artifacts: flower, feather, sands (which actually looks like the Tenacity of the Millelith one), cup, circlet (miner helmet). And we\031ve also got a spear, resembling either Dragon\031s Bane or Lithic Spear. I\031m more inclined to think it\031s the latter, because the [lore](https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Lithic_Spear#Lore) describes it as \034A weapon favoured by the Millelith\035. Then, there\031s the paragraph at the end, which might refer to the battle at the Chasm 500 years ago. The area where I found the spear has many others similar to it, so that\031s why. That was just an interesting detail I wanted to point out.\n\nBut back to the quest. After placing the offerings, a tunnel opens up and there\031s a Luxurious Chest, a set of 4\\* Tenacity pieces, and a stone tablet. Unfortunately, the game doesn\031t let me read the tablet now that I\031m done with the quest (wanted to take screenshots&), so I\031ll just rely on my memory. Also, this part is highly speculative.\n\nTurns out the Yaksha might have survived survived, much to his dismay. He can no longer use his 4 arms, so he asked somebody to write the text on the tablet. He had deep regrets of the outcome of the battle and it seems he tried to end his life. But Rex Lapis stopped him and got him out of that state. The artifacts are Millelith armour, gifted by Rex Lapis. But he no longer can use them so whoever finds them can freely take them.\n\nEdit 1: Found a [video](https://youtu.be/Ln1A7bZlVv4?t=819) which shows what's written on the tablet, if anyone wants to read it for themselves. \n\n# Conclusions\n\nIt became clear that the Electro Yaksha is the one who fought in the Chasm. It is not specified whether it\031s Bosacius, or not, but considering only him and Xiao are left, this seems like a logical conclusion.\n\nThere\031s also his behaviour. The text at the ruins implies he was suicidal. And the tablet from Millennial Mountains suggests the same thing. Not to mention the \034whoever finds this can take it\035 pattern. The wording from both tablets is also rather similar.\n\nIt\031s kind of a bummer there\031s nothing about the Yaksha in the underground mines (at least from what I\031ve done so far), except for a mention by Zhiqiong. I guess this is further proof that he indeed survived and went back to the surface. Now, we\031ll have to see if he\031s still alive somewhere (500 years had passed after all) and what\031s he up to.\n\nI guess it\031s possible to meet him as an NPC. Personally I'm curious about his arrival at the Chasm: why did he seemingly refuse at first and what made him change his mind, his perspective on the Cataclysm, how he survived and what happened to the Calamity Queller. Also, I wonder what Xiao's reaction will be, assuming he isn't aware about Bosacius.\n\nAnyway, what are your thoughts? Have you found any other crumbs on the unnamed Yaksha?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEdit 2: after seeing more opinions, I decided it's more fitting to change the flair to "Speculation". Also changed the wording in some parts to reflect that.
## 501 Hello A2C! I don't normally write posts like these with proper capitalisation and such, but I want to disseminate information that I believe everybody should know about. I'm a Chinese national (albeit no longer living in Mainland China), but from time to time I still check back on my fellow countrymen to see how they're getting on with their college admissions process. As you may or may not know, CO'26 has been a particularly tough year for those from Mainland China, and I'm presenting a blog post by a college consultant on WeChat, a Chinese social media platform. You can check out the original blog post [here](https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/OuHX_S3dKEQMiywaN25mTw), but I've tried my best to de-rust my Chinese by translating it myself (no translator used!). I know that this has little in common with whatever's posted here on a daily basis but I'd just love to share this story from Mainland China, which is basically its own isolated corner of the internet because of the Great Firewall. I want to post this in order to give insight into what the US college application culture is like in China, how Chinese people regard US college admissions, and hint at the true reasons behind the abysmal Chinese admissions rates to US colleges this year. You may express surprise at many of the statements mentioned in the blog post, but this is precisely why I want to share them (such as suggesting that UCSB is a safety school). When you meet an international student on A2C, keep in mind that the expectations in their home country may not always coincide with American expectations, and a lot of parents here in China are obsessed with Ivy Leagues, and basically have "Top 10 or die" mindsets. I am by no means suggesting that I speak for all Chinese nor represent all Internationals, I'm merely here to present an alternate perspective of applying to college, one of a culture I grew up in.\n\nWith that out of the way, let me present to you this blog post, originally written by Zhang Yibing.\n\n*Translator's Note: Whenever "China" or "Chinese" is mentioned, it almost certainly refers to Mainland China. The original author was Mainland Chinese, and I was unable to find evidence for behaviour described by the author in the Greater China area excluding Mainland China, which incorporates Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan.*\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**The Curtain Call of the 2022 U.S. College Application Season: The Widespread Chaos of the Involution\\* Era**\n\n*\\*Involution: (gr) A term, literally meaning inward-curling, referring to the phenomenon where an increased population does not yield increased innovation or productivity. Nowadays it is used as a generalised term for burning out. It usually refers to the "rat race" in China's youth, whether domestic or abroad. Learn more about this word here:* [*https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-57328508*](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-57328508)*. Here, specifically, I suspect that it may refer specifically to the increase in overall college applications but worse outcomes. Other interpretations may exist and may be equally valid.*\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWe've reached the curtain call of the 2022 American college applications decision season.\n\nJust like years gone by, some families walked out of the theatre delighted, and other families disappointed. But in comparison to previous application seasons, the number of families delighted by this year's results diminished in number, while there seemed to be an ever-so-slight uptick of those who are struggling to put a smile on their faces.\n\nSince I started working as an American college admissions consultant two dozen years ago, I can't help but feel that this year's college admissions were the most underwhelming. Many of you, I believe, have seen the overall acceptance rates of top 30 institutions this year, most of which were record lows. I've heard stories about ambitious young teenagers, unparalleled in academic performance, EDing Ivies and top 10s, and were spectacularly let down by their results, sometimes even struggling to scrape through a top-30 acceptance. Many times, even that does not happen. Just the other day, out of the blue, I received a message from a parent, who seemingly forgot about me a long time ago, begging me for advice for her unfortunate daughter who was rejected across the board.\n\nWhen I say that this year's college admissions were underwhelming, I don't just refer to elite schools such as HYPSM (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT). These schools had always recruited the crème-de-la-crème from China, so why would this year be any different? You might have even seen that some colleges actually admitted a few MORE Chinese students, but these minuscule differences concern only a tiny tiny fraction of the student population (Although, it's worth noting that even though for some Ivy League schools, there had been a slight uptick in total Chinese student admissions, many of these additional students are actually Chinese citizens studying in American High Schools). \n\nWhat I actually mean by an underwhelming application season is that the vast majority of Top 30 US colleges had been uncharacteristically, and extraordinarily stingy when it came to admitting Chinese students this year, and many universities have had an unprecedented shrink of Chinese students in their admittance pool. \n\nAt the University of Chicago, for instance, the number of Chinese students admitted was more than halved compared to last year. A college at the tail end of the Top 30, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, which, historically, was a hit safety school amongst strong Chinese applicants on account of their Early Action scheme, had cut its offers going to Chinese students by a similar margin to UChicago. You might see some genuinely extraordinary students around you without a UNC offer, something basically customary to students of their calibre for the last few years. \n\nUC Berkeley and UCLA, popular universities for Chinese students, had also experienced drastic reductions in Chinese admittance. It used to be the case that a student who is qualified enough for the best of Ivies, if they were to be rejected from Top 10 schools, would more than likely hold an offer to either of the Californians, which, to them, was only barely good enough. But just ask around and see for yourself how many of these ultra-competitive students were not able to scramble together a UCLA / Berkeley acceptance this year.\n\nEven colleges such as UC Santa Barbara, traditionally viewed as a safety for these students, drastically dialled down on their Chinese offers, bucking the trend they've set in years past. Gone were the scenes of UCSB offers flooding parent chat groups. Replacing it was the same over-half reduction in offers that I've mentioned above. I remember just two years ago, UCSB gave out over a hundred offers to one singular high school. Their numbers this year are on the other side of half that. As if they acted in unison, even UC Davis and UC Irvine seem to be extra stingy in their offers for Chinese students this year. \n\nWell, it seems that relying on some less prestigious UCs as a last resort is no longer a viable strategy for these smart teenagers.\n\nOf course, if you look at the raw numbers, you might see some colleges bucking this trend, but numbers are deceptive. Take NYU, for example, even though they admitted about the same amount of Chinese students as last year, had a historic increase in application numbers (breaking 100k!). This increase drove their admissions rate down to an all-time low of around 12%. That's crazy. Cornell University, an Ivy, had an admissions rate of around 11% just two years ago.\n\nSo, perhaps these Ivy League-worthy students can no longer justify having NYU as their safety anymore.\n\nI'm not going to go into any detail analysing application statistics because there's a whole load of these analyses floating around the internet already. Check them out if you wish.\n\nRight now, when high school deans and parents come to me to report great news, apart from the customary congratulations that I always give, I now try to inject them with a bit of cool-headedness and rationality: they were merely experiencing survivorship bias. There are only so many HYPSM schools, and just to add an extra layer of uncertainty, nobody actually KNOWS for sure why these students were admitted in the first place anyway. \n\nOverall, I feel that for this year there were significantly more people reporting back bad news than good news, the caveat, of course, being that we could no longer hear last year's bad news-bearers right now to compare with this year's. As an admissions consultant, I always feel that if told, success stories are worth less than failure stories, because failure stories teach you what NOT to do, which is a lot more valuable. It just so happens that these admissions consulting firms do not want to tell failure stories, fearing that prospective clients might turn them down for another firm that tells more success stories, which they interpret as better overall efficacy. People always remember the winning generals returning home from victory; yet forget all those brutally killed on the battlefield in war. When parents eagerly listen to college admissions talks and college application experience-sharing sessions, plotting every step of how their kid might one day step into a prestigious institution, how many of them would stop and think about the cruel reality of rejection? After all, for ultra-prestigious institutions like the Ivy League, for every student they admit, they lay dozens of rejects prostrate. When these consulting firms share success stories of their clients, it's hard to think that these very firms actually presided over significantly more rejections than they do acceptances. It's just a lot more palatable to present success than failure. \n\nAnyway, why then, are this year's U.S. college admissions statistics so pessimistic for Chinese students? I posit a few explanations.\n\nFirstly, there has been an increase in Chinese students applying for U.S. colleges. According to Common App statistics, there had been 1.11 million applications sent through their system for the 2021-2022 season, representing a 13% increase from last year. However, the number of applications of international origin has exploded, experiencing a 31% increase from last year (China is the largest source of international applicants on the Common App). This is to say that over the two years affected by COVID, international applicants to U.S. colleges, especially Chinese, had been no less enthusiastic about getting into the American college of their dreams. \n\nSecondly, on average, each Chinese student had applied to more colleges (although I have no solid statistics on this, the overall trend is very clear). Citing the same Common App statistic, on average, each applicant applied to 5.48 institutions, which is a 6% increase from last year. However, according to my personal experience, and talking with coworkers, I struggled to find any Chinese student that did not apply to at least 15 colleges, most applied to over 20. In a few extreme instances, over 30 were applied to by one person. They had to use Common App together with the less favoured Coalition system, in order to bypass the 20 maximum that Common App imposes on students, ostensibly to reduce their workload. \n\nIn my two dozen years of experience working as a consultant, in the very beginning, each Chinese student applied to 3 to 5 colleges, tops. This number gradually crept up to around 10, by which point I felt was too much. But observing the trends for these few years, 15 seems to be the baseline number for most. \n\nThe consequences of this behaviour are the monumental reduction in offers to Chinese students, and a direct cause of involution for the ambitious Chinese students applying to U.S. colleges. A student of mine, who ED'd to UChicago, was searching for his RD schools halfway down the US News Top 100 list. A few years ago, I would have disapproved of this move: If you're good enough to apply to UChicago, even if you somehow got unlucky for their ED round, you're more than likely to be good enough for, say, schools around the top 30! Why, then, are you fighting for offers in schools ranked 50-something? These are colleges you probably wouldn't want to apply to in the first place, let alone want to go to. You know, to many other students, these are their dream schools, so give them a chance!\n\nOf course, this rhetoric wouldn't fly today. Ever-decreasing admissions rates of prestigious U.S. colleges facilitate this race to the bottom, from which one does not recover easily.\n\nLastly, there has simply been an observable reduction in total Chinese quotas in U.S. colleges, which only fueled this rat race. This begs the question of why there has been this reduction. Perhaps aside from political reasons (which I would not go into any further), and a few gap year students putting downward pressure on the number of available spots for the class of 2026, there must be another significant reason behind this paradigm shift. Perhaps the improper behaviour of Chinese students over the past decade contributed to the downfall of their own countrymen years later. \n\nI want to explore a phenomenon widely reported amongst college admissions officers about Chinese students: Many wrote an equivalent of a "love letter" to the admissions officers after being put on the waitlist of a college, promising that if they were to be taken off the waitlist, they would definitely go to said college. However, a lot of these students did not heed their promise when they were eventually taken off the waitlist, as they were also taken off the waitlist by a more prestigious college. Year after year, admissions officers fell into this Chinese trap: no matter how poignant their love letters are, if they were also taken off the waitlist by more highly ranked and prestigious colleges, Chinese students wouldn't care less about the waitlists from less highly-ranked colleges, despite the oath they supposedly swore to in their letters. \n\nTherefore, it's actually really logical when you think about the rejections that (usually overqualified) students receive from schools they deem to be targets or safeties (such as BU, UNC Chapel Hill, and UCSB). Admissions officers probably detected a healthy dose of sterility and lack of genuine passion to join their student body, which signals to them that these students do not really care to attend them even if they were given an offer. I remember one year, UIUC gave a top high school dozens of offers, not one of which was taken up. Now put yourself into the shoes of the poor admissions officers there, how would you feel? Would you admit as many students from this school in the future, if at all?\n\nAnother concern that I have are the rampant cheating in China on standardised tests such as the SAT and TOEFL; and the systematic falsification of academic records, competitions, and extracurriculars on a resumé. Just over the last two years, there had been numerous instances of those who exposed wrongdoings of Harvard and Caltech admits to their respective admissions offices. These students were rescinded promptly. With this dirty reputation cemented onto Chinese heads, admissions officers may be prompted to think twice before taking the resumé of these supposedly highly qualified Chinese students at their word. The Chinese students who do not cheat (which still constitutes the vast majority of Chinese applicants), then, are the biggest losers in this fiasco. Truly, the actions of a few influence the outcomes of many. The outcome of all this is that admissions officers may be hesitant to give offers to Chinese students whose academic records seem too good to be true, or otherwise suspicious. \n\nAs a final coup-de-grâce to Chinese students, their increased homogeneity has rendered American admissions officers bored and sick. A "standard formula" consisting of a sky-high SAT score, combined with dazzling extracurriculars that are homogeneous (think MUN, debate, and some form of music), as well as weirdly cerebral and pretentious supplements, has begun to sting the eye of the average admissions officer, blurring their vision and decreasing their ability to differentiate between all these seemingly overqualified students, and who amongst them should get an offer. In actual fact, many college consultants had already flagged this as a potential issue, and now they strive to craft a unique resumé for their clients. The trouble is, on many occasions, that the student isn't actually interested in most of the activities to which they are assigned, and as a result the passion, genuine interest and personality are completely erased from the application. This the admissions officers can detect clearly and instantly. Whether the resumé you've painstakingly crafted for so long is a genuine representation of yourself and your interests should really be the question that every Chinese applicant should ask themselves. \n\nIn conclusion, the increase in Chinese applications to the U.S., the increased number of colleges each individual student chooses to apply to, combined with the reduced levels of Chinese admissions from top U.S. colleges, caused this catastrophe that has befallen so many hard-working Chinese students this application season. \n\nI'm worried. This 2022 catastrophe only causes more uncertainty for the next group of applicants. The current high school juniors may ultimately be forced to apply to more and more colleges, and search for safeties farther and farther down the rankings list. This feedback loop seemingly has no balancing mechanism, and as such will continue to amplify itself indefinitely. \n\nEvery single U.S. college applicant AND prospective applicant will tell you that this trend is really observable and is worrying. The involution seems to compound on itself and has already become unbearable.\n\nA dozen years ago, I set up a college consulting business in Vancouver, Canada. But if I were to be judged by today's standards, I would be severely underqualified. During that time, I mainly taught SAT English and TOEFL. Sometimes, during application season, when a student got stuck writing their essays or supplements, I would just have a casual chat with them, suggest some starter ideas, and they'd be on their merry way to applying to college! Back in those days, results were surprisingly easy to come by too: I remember one year, twenty of the students that I've consulted for got into UC Berkeley. \n\nAt that time, NYU was ranked #35. We viewed it as a safety school.\n\nTry saying this to anyone today and you'd be called delusional.\n\nTwo decades ago, when Liu Yiting\\* applied to Harvard, she didn't even take the SAT. But now, if you go test-optional, perhaps applying to even a top 50 school would sound like a daunting task, let alone HYPSM.\n\n*\\*Liu Yiting: The subject of a bestseller book in China "Harvard Girl: Liu Yiting", published in 2000, and written by her parents about how they raised Yiting to be accepted by Harvard University. This book was very influential in China and was the basis of a new generation of how-to books. This book also made Yiting and Harvard into household names in China.*\n\nBack in those days, the students I've consulted for didn't have people meticulously planning their every move for the best chances at being accepted by a prestigious institution, didn't study their heads off for tough AP classes, didn't have all sorts of competitions, sports and all manners of extracurriculars. Yet they still got some amazing results. \n\nBut looking back now, as TOEFL and SAT scores increase at an unnatural rate; as more and more AP classes are taken (at the student's detriment); as more and more extracurriculars and research projects are undertaken; as college essays have become so decorated that it seems impossible to have been written by the students themselves; perhaps we only have ourselves to blame, as we seem to have created the "standard formula" for applying to college and viewed it as the only correct way to guarantee admission into prestigious colleges. \n\nOf course, it's a lot easier to sit here and mention whatever I've mentioned above, but just imagine an overburdened student actually DOING all of the above, while at the same time having the pressure to maintain his GPA at school. Imagine the time and effort he must put in to maintain this portfolio! It's almost certainly undoable.\n\nAs another point of concern, as long as there's one kid in the house gunning for top schools in the US, their mothers are bound to be full-time secretaries. Apart from just being the housekeeper and driver, she is most definitely going to join some manner of studying abroad social media group for parents; attend all sorts of college admissions workshops and meetings; visit many college consulting firms, and some take it to the extreme: they become so engrossed in researching universities for their kid, that some reach the level of knowledge and professionalism rivalling that of actual college consultants (a lot of parents I know actually know more about certain universities than professional college consultants do). \n\nThese are all opportunity costs, albeit ones that don't involve money, and as a result, few seem to care about them. Many mothers, decorated with prestigious college degrees and with a bright future ahead of them, are willing to sacrifice their future in the workplace for their children to be able to get into top U.S. colleges. In this rat race, some mothers even ended up developing symptoms of depression and anxiety (I know many mothers who worry so much about potentially making a wrong decision that compromises their child's competitiveness, that they live in constant fear of having to eventually explain to their husbands that they messed up, so much so that they developed clinical anxiety). We're always told to care about the mental health of our children, care about whether they're stressed from doing so much work. After all, to most families, their children are their everything. But who is there to keep track of how the mothers are doing, mentally and physically? It's almost as if we're implying that mothers deserve to be treated like this. So let's take some time here to salute all the mothers who have worked non-stop for their children. \n\nIn addition to this, how many spouses are torn apart by the incessant fighting over college admissions? How many family relationships were strained because of differences in opinion about college applications? This may be the most damning consequence of the involution we're witnessing. I have a student, whose father has been driven so mad by the anxiety that his wife exhibited over college decisions, that he's resorted to posting pseudo-inspirational quotes on social media every day. Truly an extraordinary transformation that perfectly illustrates how the men in these households are also deserving of sympathy in this torturous process.\n\nIn China nowadays, you'll witness involution in every industry, in every sector, but the most egregious sector is no doubt the education sector. Within the education sector, though, you'll find that the U.S. college admissions scene is the most guilty of involution of the bunch. While all involution takes a severe physical and mental toll on its participants, What sets the U.S. college admissions scene apart from all others, though, is the vast amounts of money and investment needed to even be within a shout of being successful. \n\nLet me illustrate this point: Should you want three years of international education for your child, that'd be at least 500 thousand (Ren Min Bi, 500,000 RMB is roughly equal to 78,000 USD at today's exchange rates, and a typical amount is between 500k and 800k RMB). Should you want SAT, TOEFL, or AP tutoring for your child, at least you get a range of options, which will range from anywhere between ten, a hundred or even several hundred thousand RMB. All manners of extracurricular activities and competitions will set you back another a hundred to several hundred thousand. The final step, the consulting firms and the actual application itself, could make you shell out upwards of two million RMB (314,000 USD) on a decent plan. Tally these up, and you'll be several million in the red before your child even feels the touch of the gates of America. \n\nEven with such colossal investment, because of the simple lack of available places in universities to house all these ambitious young men and women, it does not even guarantee a positive outcome. Your child's destiny always has a question mark hovering over it until an admit letter comes through.\n\nSome people even turned to superstition just to get into these American colleges. This application season, I had a student who was rejected from Cornell ED. He would be ED2ing a top 15 university as well. With insistence from his octogenarian grandma, they invited about 20 monks to his house for good omens. The kid often complained to me about how these monks randomly interrupted him when he was busy writing his supplements to get him to listen to them reading some holy texts and to do some kowtowing (This is absolutely a true story!).\n\nPerhaps it worked out in the end because he was admitted to his ED2 school.\n\nI suddenly started to imagine a scenario in which someone reads this story and is superstitious enough to emulate it. If that's the case, and it works for them, soon enough, there'd be a shortage of monks in China!\n\nAs I write these words, I couldn't help but exclaim "Everybody's been oppressed by the American college applications machine for way too long!" \\*\n\n*\\* a variation/pun on a classical Chinese poem phrase. The original sentiment read that "everybody has been subjugated by the Qin dictatorial empire for way too long!", i.e. it's time for a rebellion against them.*\n\nWe spent dozens of years trying to advertise U.S. colleges as an alternative way out of the draconian Chinese Gaokao system (the graduation exams of high school), but we somehow managed to build a beast several times harder to tame, while costing a lot more money simultaneously.\n\nPrecisely because of this, I've been keeping an arm's length from U.S. college admissions for a few years now. This American college admissions mess and some truly disgusting truths behind this process that I know only because I'm an insider have made me jaded of this market. Notwithstanding this, I still love talking with students about their supplements and their lives, and I find my own worthiness and value in this process of making the perfect U.S. college applicant.\n\nBut life goes on no matter what. Facing an incredibly steep trend of involution, we need to adjust our mindsets. The days are over where you're basically an auto-admit to a top 20 or top 30 university just by having an SAT of 1500+, a TOEFL score of 110+, great extracurriculars, if not unique and spectacular, and an outstanding GPA. It's never coming back. Because when every applicant shares these impressive statistics, they become the baseline. In the public's mind, anyone without these is in effect disqualified from the competition. If you're an applicant, I implore you to think about where you could stand out from the crowd and be that someone that would light an admission officer's eyes up. \n\nMore importantly, we must ditch our unhealthy mindsets and start to view U.S. college admissions as a bunch of normal, rational observers. \n\nHaven't you observed that everyone's operating on the same wavelength when it comes to making themselves appear more competitive for U.S. college applications? Don't we always betray our own hearts and do a ton of extracurriculars we don't enjoy, for no other reason than to appear competitive? Don't we sometimes choose to do a ton of difficult AP courses that we don't like, for no other reason than their rigour? Don't we work our heads off just to participate in some random competition or a superficial scientific research project that is in reality just a rich people's club?\n\nIf you no longer bother with these pointless exercises and use the newly-found time to do something you genuinely enjoy, then even if you may not appear so well-rounded, won't your profile describe someone with genuine interest and drive in one area? Isn't that more important?\n\nIs there even any need to apply to 20, or 30 schools? Won't this just worsen this existing trend? Can we also please escape from numbers on the rankings, and find that one university that genuinely excites and speaks to you?\n\nI admit that dazzling results are the most flattering return for your Ivy League quest. But apart from this, if you've learnt something from this process, big or small, are you a failure if you don't get a few pieces of paper with what is effectively brand names etched onto them? Don't kid yourself.\n\nYou know, I've always recommended strongly to my students that, during the process of U.S. college admissions, you need to rediscover yourself; rediscover your passions; don't betray yourself just because it might look more impressive on a resumé; and don't limit your own passion, curiosity and drive in one particular area in the name of being "more well-rounded". \n\nTo be yourself, and to portray your REAL self in your essays and supplementals, is the biggest tip I can give you. Although it is likely not perfect, this lack of perfection is actually your biggest weapon among a sea of perfectly polished production-line-esque students. Lack of perfection shows character. Lack of perfection shows personality. Through your application, you have a choice between being another in a line of perfect, identical students, so homogeneous to the extent of fungibility; and being a likeable character with a genuine soul.\n\nTo an admissions officer, your "imperfection" would cure their sensory fatigue from stereotypically "stat-perfect" Chinese students. Imagine you are presented with a line of women, all having undergone cosmetic surgery to look objectively pretty, but almost entirely identical and fungible. One shows up with slightly jagged teeth and without makeup. I'll let you guess who I'd choose to love.\n\nJust like a man who has eaten royal dinners for his whole life: Somehow, he desires more strongly a simple bowl of porridge and some wheat buns. Perhaps with some pickled vegetable by his side.
## 511 It\031s been a year since our school has been quarantined.\n\nCut off from the rest of the world.\n\nBecause of what is here\024what might get out.\n\nI\031m sure one day the truth will come out about Blackwood Academy. Maybe we\031ll end up world news, our names written in history\024or maybe I\031m just fantasising. It\031s good to imagine, though. I don\031t want to live in the dark anymore. I want to be known. I want our situation to be known across the world.\n\nI\031m 17 years old and I haven\031t seen the sky in 12 months because the windows have bars on them, and even when I peer through, I see green; I see vines twisted around us, trees, like mother nature has taken us into her arms. \n\nAt least that\031s what I want to believe. The actual truth would be just another attempt to hide us away from the real world. I haven\031t breathed real, proper air from the outside and felt the breeze on my face. I\031m supposed to be graduating this year. I\031m supposed to be going to college. I can\031t lie to myself and say that\031s going to happen because it\031s not. I promised myself I wouldn\031t go on and on about things that don\031t matter, but it\031s hard not to when I don\031t know how to start off a post properly. Do I start by introducing myself? This is my first Reddit post so I guess, bear with me. I want you to know what life is like here, for the world to help us. For now, however? Until we become public knowledge, our school remains invisible. Forgotten. So, that\031s why I\031m here.\n\nWhy I am writing this to you.\n\nI\031m so sick of not existing.\n\nSure, I used to make self-deprecating jokes about \034wanting to die\035 like the rest of my generation.\n\nBut I didn\031t mean it!\n\nDo you know the story of Sleeping Beauty?\n\nOf course you do. It was my comfort book as a child.\n\nThe story of the Princess put to sleep by the evil witch and locked away in a tower.\n\nWe\031re a little like that. Though there are no sleeping Princesses, magical kisses or fairies.\n\nWhen I think of the fairy-tale, I don\031t think of Aurora or Prince Philip, or the sleeping spell she was under. I think of her tower. I think of her tower hidden deep, deep in the forest, eaten up by nature, entangled in greenery. \n\nThat is Blackwood Academy. Like Aurora\031s tower, we have been locked away, eaten up not just by nature, but the people pretending we don\031t exist. Like it\031s that fucking easy. \n\nInstead of being under a sleeping spell cast by an evil witch, though, we are instead in a permanent state of nothing. Purgatory. Neither living nor dead. I don\031t exist anymore, according to the outside world. Like everyone else here, our names have been cruelly torn away. Covered up. They\031ve wiped us off of the face of the earth and you are none the wiser to what is going on here. I\031d like to think it\031s to avoid causing panic, but over the last year I\031ve been led to believe that in the case of the outside world, ignorance is bliss. You choose to turn your head and see the world through rose tinted glasses.\n\nWe\031re already in a pandemic, so why actively look for more threats to our planet?\n\nIt\031s not like I blame you. If I was an outsider and knew even the slightest glimmer of the shit that goes on here, I\031d try my best to ignore it too. I guess what I\031m here for is to be the one to put our story out there. I don\031t want to wait years for the world to find out about us, for the military to finally come clean and admit, \034Oh yeah, those kids? They were dangerous\024so we got rid of them.\035 Simple enough, huh? They don\031t think about lives that we wanted to live, our families back home, their mouths sealed shut with a good hunk of cash that will allow them to retire.\n\nThey don\031t care that we wanted to graduate, that we wanted to see the world, have kids and grow old. You know, the so-called American dream. They don\031t give a fuck. They\031ve just left us here to rot. Which\024I can understand. At least part of me can. I can understand that they are making sure whatever is here with us doesn\031t get out.\n\nIn the near future, if we are discovered, people will ask: \034How did it happen?\035\n\nHow did our school turn into what it is now? How did we become so-called Ground Zero?\n\nWas it a gas leak? Radiation poisoning? Wi-Fi?\n\nAccording to my Grammy, Wi-Fi messes with our molecules.\n\nShe didn\031t elaborate. One day, Grammy just came out of it out of the blue.\n\nShe was also convinced I\031d develop major health problems if I slept with my phone next to me or went more than two feet near the microwave when it was on. I can partially understand where she was coming from but come on. I just wanted to cook my hot pockets and she was grabbing and pulling me away, like the damn thing was about to explode in my face. Anyway. No, no, and no. It wasn\031t Wi-fi or radiation poisoning, or bad chicken nuggets. I\031m sure a 5G theory will come up at some point, but no. The reason behind the disaster, and then quarantine of our school was simply an April fool\031s joke that went wrong\024orchestrated by my best friend. How about that, huh? \n\nMy best friend ended the fucking world, or at least the world around our school. Maybe this thing will get out soon, maybe there will be some kind of leak or outbreak outside. Then I can say she officially ended the world as you know it too. Until then, this is our problem.\n\nShe started this, and we\031ve been living it for the past year.\n\nWell, not exactly \034living\035.\n\nI will get to that as I write.\n\nUp until April 1ST 2021 I\031d never done anything significantly bad. I mean, I stole a Twinkie on a dare in fourth grade\024to try and impress the girl\031s in my class--- if that counts?\n\nMom treated it like I\031d committed a war-crime and I was grounded for two weeks, so I\031d definitely put that incident up there in the \034significantly bad\035 category. I\031d never done anything truly bad though. I used to think that as a teenager I was invincible. It\031s the age, right? We all think we\031re going to be that age forever and there\031s no repercussions to our actions. I was never going to die, and if I was going to\024it would be way later on in life. Or maybe I\031d off myself at 30 so I wouldn\031t age. That\031s what my mindset was. Toxic, yes. I was obsessed with my own youth and was convinced my time would never fucking run out.\n\nI was a dumb kid. I still am a dumb kid but being in this kind of situation has put a lot of things into perspective. For example, I can say my mom was right when she told me too much screen- time on my phone would make me sick. I\031m still unsure about the microwave thing, though. Grammy always had some pretty wild theories. Maybe I\031ll tell you about them some day. If I get out here alive, I\031ll make it my goal.\n\nI promise.\n\nOkay, so I\031ll start from the beginning.\n\nI thought the worst part of that day was getting rejected by Connor Marlowe. It was already a pretty shitty day to start with. I woke up with a crummy headache, there was no milk for cereal, and I\031d completely forgotten about an essay which was due. It was April Fool\031s day, though\024and I was looking forward to seeing chaos ensue at school. It usually did.\n\nIt was always a competition amongst the students who could do the wildest prank, and that year was no exception. The whole school were eager to take Melanie Jason\031s crown (The 2019 winner\024we don\031t talk about 2020) after she\031d somehow convinced everyone the world was ending by broadcasting one of those mock emergency alert alarms on the tannoy, alerting us an alien invasion was imminent and to prepare ourselves.\n\nEarth was under attack, every tannoy in school screamed at 9am, when the majority of us were still half asleep. She even played the siren, so you can imagine how fucking terrified we were.\n\nI fell for it, of course, being a confused freshman. Still half asleep from the Netflix binge the night before, I had almost shit myself. Melanie had gotten suspended for it, though her argument had been that she\031d been mimicking the famous War Of The Worlds radio broadcast for an assignment.\n\nSince then, Melanie has held the top spot.\n\nThe prank was pretty good, admittedly, and she caught a lot of us off guard.\n\nI even heard some teachers had freaked out in class, though that was unlikely. It turned into a game of Chinese whispers\024rumours being spread around that some kids had panic attacks, some kids attacked others\024I even heard one where two seniors apparently decided it was the best time to get it on, like right there. Kids wanted to follow in Melanie\031s footsteps. I\031d caught offhand conversation and word of mouth that the next April Fool prank was going to knock Melanie off the top spot\024and my best friend was eager to be the one to do it. I wasn\031t really thinking about Rory\031s prank, though. I had things on my mind that morning. Connor Marlow, to be specific.\n\nI\031d been crushing on him for a while\024you know, the butterflies in your stomach kind of crush. I don\031t know what it was about him.\n\nHe wasn\031t exactly conventionally attractive. Connor looked like he\031d rolled out of bed most days. He had dark hair and wore a lot of plaid, always carrying his beaten up camera everywhere, hanging on a ribbon around his neck. He was kind of awkward, but the cute kind\024the kind that made me sort of fall for him. We were friends, having met in the school newspaper club. Connor took his work a lot more seriously than me, though we\031d hung out a bunch of times, and being a naïve idiot, I\031d taken that as a sign that he actually liked me.\n\nWhich was badly miscalculated on my part. If I\031d actually listened to word of mouth from classmates, I\031d have found out Connor wasn\031t really into girls. It was much later on \023post the end of the world-- when I found out about him, but at that point I was completely deaf and blind to any rumours. \n\nGod, if only I\031d have had at least some semblance of common sense, then I might not have made a complete fool out of myself and enjoyed my last minutes of what I called normal. But no. I was an idiot. I deserved it. I had already gone through our hypothetical conversation a thousand times in my head and at that point I wanted to get it over with.\n\nThe world could end. That\031s what I\031d told myself, rubbing my clammy hands together. Then what would I do? I\031d regret not telling him. I was also running on three cups of coffee, maybe four, so I was practically bouncing with unhinged energy. \034Hey, Connor.\035 I caught him on the way to class.\n\nAs usual he had been in his own world, thoughts in the clouds, nodding his head to music in his ears. I had to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention. Twisting around to face me, Connor\031s frown quirked into a smile. He tugged an earphone out. \034Mara. Hey.\035 He nodded at me, gesturing ahead.\n\n\034Are you, uh, are you coming to class?\035\n\n\034Yeah.\035 I pulled a face, joining him. \034I didn\031t do the assignment.\035\n\n\034For which class?\035 He smirked. \034Dude, we have a bunch.\035\n\n\034Mr Tenor.\035\n\nConnor laughed. His laugh was one of the things I loved about him. It was one of those throwing your head back belly laughs, you know when their whole body vibrates with them. \034Well, shit. You\031re dead.\035\n\n\034I\031m not dead.\035 I said, and when I caught his smirk, I gave up. \034Okay, yeah. I\031m dead.\035\n\n\034You are seriously fucking dead.\035 Connor nudged me. \034My condolences.\035\n\nI shoved him back. \034Shut up!\035\n\nHe was right though. I was pretty sure I was going to die.\n\nMr Tenor our English teacher, considered students who failed to complete assignments \034defects\035 who didn\031t belong in his class. He was a bitter old man and seemed to thrive on humiliating students. I remember a girl in our class, Rosie, forgot to do the assignment because her aunt passed away a few days before. Mr Tenor had mocked a sad face. \034Well, I\031m sure your aunt would have wanted you to do the task assigned.\035 Rosie had burst into tears and ran out. I found out the next day she\031d joined another class. I didn\031t blame her. Mr Tenor was an awful human being. \n\nSeriously, Fuck that guy.\n\nThe thing about Connor was, we only really talked about school work and the club.\n\nSo, it was fairly easy to run out of things to say. \n\nWhat can I say? I spent most of my time on Tik-Tok, and he was into, like\024I don\031t know.\n\nIndie stuff? He\031d watched the Midsommer directors cut at the movies and spent almost an hour talking about the cinematography, and how it was a masterpiece. The only thing I knew was that there was a guy who was put into a bear- and something about period blood. That\031s it. When I told Connor this, he looked at me like I\031d just shot his family. So, yeah, we didn\031t share interests, and maybe he was slightly on the pretentious side, but hey, I couldn\031t help who I fell for. Connor just made me dizzy.\n\nThe two us started walking and made idle conversation about the weather and class work, pushing through the crowd of kids heading to first period. Connor didn\031t really speak, only offering me awkward smiles, his gaze flicking from me to his phone in his hand. He probably wanted to put his earphones back in. \034Is the school newspaper club still tonight?\035 I asked him, knowing damn well it was. The school newspaper held their meetings every Thursday at 4pm in room 45HF\024a music room.\n\nI usually spent sessions typing up random articles or doing my best to help Connor with whatever project he was working on. There were five of us. Me, Connor, a kid called James who never did any work and talked about his sex life in vivid detail, and Sara, a quiet girl who always brought cake from home for us. \034Yeah, it is.\035 Connor lifted his camera for emphasis, a grin spreading across his lips. He always got excited about his camera, like a little kid. \034I\031m taking pictures of the new school gymnasium.\035 He shot me a hopeful look. \034Do you want to interview the coach? You can come along.\035\n\nThe idea of standing in the new school gymnasium which smelled like burnt plastic and bleach, interviewing Coach Croft who was very intense when it came to interviews\024wasn\031t exactly my idea of fun. Still though, I found myself nodding. \034Yeah. Is Sara still doing the piece on cyberbullying?\035\n\n\034Uh-huh.\035 Connor idly played with the string of his camera, as we headed up the last few steps. There were a group of kids at the top of the stairs yelling. My stomach gurgled. I really regretted drinking all that coffee. \034James is doing an article on the girl\031s swim team.\035 He shot me a grin. \034Obviously.\035\n\n\034Seriously?\035 I rolled my eyes. What is there to write about?\035\n\n\034No idea. But it\031s James, so I\031m sure he\031ll figure something out.\035\n\nAfter a moment, I just came out with it. I couldn\031t stand waiting any longer.\n\n\034Hey, do you want to hang out?\035\n\nWe reached the top of the stairs, and Connor turned to me, curious eyes drinking me in.\n\n\034Do you mean after the club meeting?\035 He nodded, his lips curving into a grin. \034Sure! I\031ll text Sara and James too. They\031ve been talking about the new Godzilla movie, if you want to go and see it?\035\n\nShit. He was totally oblivious.\n\n\034Actually, I meant the two of us.\035 My voice was small. \034If you, uh\024if you want to?\035\n\nConnor\031s smile fell. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head\024but his smile was still polite. \034Mara, you\031re a great friend, but I don\031t really see you like that.\035 He said, sputtering out a nervous laugh. \034I actually, uh\024" He was cut off by a loud bang, which startled me from my stupor as I took in Connor\031s words. I could already feel my cheeks heating up, my stomach crawling into my throat.\n\nTwisting around, I glimpsed the source of the crash, a guy who had just walked head first into a locker. I vaguely recognised him\024that kid who suffered from Narcolepsy. I remembered him becoming the talk of the school during freshman year when he\031d sleep through his classes, even drifting off standing up, and walking into things. They called him a vampire.\n\n\nThe crowd around us were laughing, and the guy regarded them with a scowl, sleepy eyes half lidded through a fringe which was way too long, sticking under a knitted beanie. \034Very funny.\035 He told the crowd. \034Alright, everyone. Get it all out. Let\031s all laugh at the disabled guy.\035 His smile was mocking, then. He was practically egging them on.\n\n\034Dude, just don\031t come to school.\035 Joey Summer\031s, a senior, standing a few feet away, spoke up. \034If you\031re going to fall asleep everywhere, stay at home, man. You\031re just walking around like a zombie.\035\n\nThe guy rolled his eyes. \034Wow. Thanks, Joey. I\031m happy to know that you care.\035\n\n\034Just spitting facts, man.\035\n\nThe crowd tittered with Joey and the kid opened his locker and grabbed his books.\n\nI noticed his hands were trembling. \034Yep. Everyone laugh. Like I\031m a fucking slapstick cartoon.\035\n\nWith him joining in with being the butt of the joke, however, the laugher faded into an awkward silence. Joey turned away and started talking to his friends, but the kid seemed genuinely confused, still half asleep. I was watching him blinking rapidly, probably disoriented and unsure where to go\024when Connor stepped in front of me. \034It\031s not that I don\031t like you, Mara. \034 He said. \034I just\024\035\n\n\034It\031s fine.\035 I cut him off. \034Dude, it\031s&it\031s cool.\035 I played with my ponytail with fervent fingers. At that point I would gladly welcome a meteor hitting the school. \034I obviously got the wrong idea.\035\n\n\034No, no, it\031s not that!\035 Connor started to say, before his phone vibrated in his hand. I felt mine too in my back pocket. It wasn\031t just the two of us; I glimpsed other kids pulling out their phones, or if they already had them\024frowning down at the screen. Connor had a wry smile. \034What\031s this?\035\n\n\034Oh, don\031t look at that.\035 I said. \034It\031s just Rory\031s April Fools prank.\035\n\n\034Hm?\035 Connor didn\031t look up from his phone. And looking around, he wasn\031t the only one. I was reminded of Rory\031s prank\024what she\031d told me about a little earlier, when we were heading to school.\n\n\034A monkey?\035 I had raised my eyebrows when she\031d shoved her phone in front of my face.\n\nRory shook blonde curls out of her face. Her smile was enough to brighten my mood. \034It\031s a meme!\035\n\n\034Yeah, I\031ve seen it.\035 I chuckled. \034It\031s the stinky one, right? Rory, that meme is like months old.\035 I gripped my backpack strap tighter. \034This is what you\031re going to prank people with? The Uh-Oh Stinky meme?\035\n\n\034It\031s funny!\035 Rory laughed. \034Look at it!\035\n\nI pushed the phone out of my face, settling my friend with a smirk.\n\n\034Yeah, but I don\031t think it\031s April Fools worthy.\035\n\nRory\031s eyes glinted. \034Not yet.\035\n\nHer words took me off guard. \034Huh? What do you mean?\035\n\nRory winked at me and ran ahead, and I had no choice but to follow her. \034Hey, what did you do?\035\n\nTurning to me, Rory was grinning wildly. \034I bought a thing.\035\n\n\034A thing?\035\n\n\034Yeah! I followed this link on Reddit, and it brought me to this website where you can, like, buy viruses? It was only like ten dollars.\035 Her eyes were shining. \034It\031s a mass text!\035 She whispered excitedly. \034Like, it connects itself to the network, to everyone\031s phone\031s, and everyone will see it. How cool is that?\035 She rubbed her hands together with a grin. \034You can\031t get rid of it either, unless you turn off your phone. It works like a parasite, spreading to all forms of technology, not just phones.\035 She turned to me with childlike glee. \034Wait, does that mean every device? Like, school printers, too? Toasters?\035\n\n\034No!\035 I shoved her, laughing. \034They mean TV\031s. Whiteboards. That kind of stuff.\035\n\nI was suddenly curious, because this kind of thing, despite being hilarious, sounded shady as hell.\n\n\034Where did you find it?\035\n\n\034No idea. I had to download another web browser.\035\n\nI had a hard time taking in what she was saying. \034Rory, did you..\035 I trailed off, unable to stop myself laughing. \034Did you get this off of the Dark Web?\035\n\nShe shrugged. \034I don\031t think so? It was just a website.\035\n\n\034Which sounds exactly like the Dark Web.\035 I groaned. \034What even is it? Like a file?\035\n\nRory nodded. \034I guess? I don\031t actually have it, I just have to give the go-ahead in the IT room.\035 She pulled something from her pocket. A USB drive. \034They told me I just have to plug this into any computer, and they\031ll do the rest.\035\n\nI stopped walking. \034They?\035\n\n\034Yeah, they were anonymous.\035 Rory turned to me, folding her arms. \034Why are you looking at me like that?\035\n\nI continued walking, a little faster this time. \034Like what?\035\n\n\034Like you\031re about to say this is a bad idea.\035\n\nRory\031s voice echoed in my mind as I watched Connor Marlow go fifteen seconds without looking up from his phone. But not just that. He\031d seemingly frozen in place. I jumped when his backpack slid from his shoulder and hit the ground with a thump which didn\031t even faze him. Behind him, a girl dropped her Starbucks latte\024and then next to her, another guy\031s books slipped from his hands.\n\nThings were hitting the floor suddenly\024just normal objects. Laptops. Coats. Drinks.\n\nBut no phones.\n\nSomething ice cold slipped down my spine when Connor\031s body seemed to jolt, his fingers tightening around his phone. I glimpsed a puddle of coffee pooling beneath my feet. It was almost like the world had come to a standstill around me. \034Connor?\035 I managed to find my voice, reaching for my own phone. Rory\031s video couldn\031t have been that captivating, I thought. It was just stupid meme.\n\nAnd then, just like that\024my world exploded.\n\nI\031m not sure what point it hit that something was very wrong. Maybe it was when Connor Marlow lifted his head, the light in his eyes\024that very human light that I\031d recognise in any living person\024fizzling out. There was something in the air\024something crackling, that I felt, sensed, heard. I was too busy staring at Connor, at the visible change in him\024a transformation- happening directly in front of me which carried in the air, seemingly taking control of every kid around me, bodies jolting, like something was there, crawling into their heads. \n\nHis body seemed to relax, go limp. But he was still standing, like he was suspended on puppet strings. I was choking on words I wanted to say, wanting to cry out, when Joey Summer\031s lunged for a girl near him, latching his teeth onto her throat and ripping it out. That started an almost domino effect. All around me, kids started attacking each other. A girl threw herself at a group of guys, and the group of them tumbled down the stairs. Screams erupted around me and I was reminded of animals in a zoo. But they weren\031t animals.\n\nThey were my classmates.\n\nMy gaze, until then, had been on Joey who was straddling the girl he\031d ripped the throat from.\n\nZombies. That was my first thought.\n\nBut he wasn\031t eating her. His eyes were vacant. The boy seemed to study her with empty eyes, before jumping up and taking off down the hallway before slamming his head into a door. He was laughing, I realised. Joey was giggling like a child, slamming his face again and again and again into the door.\n\nBlood splattered, painting wood.\n\nI was aware of taking a slow step backwards, but I couldn\031t tear my eyes off of him.\n\nHis body slipped to the ground before getting back up.\n\nHe was still laughing.\n\nAgain. His head didn\031t look like a head anymore, after five blows.\n\nA girl with a ponytail grabbed hold of his neck with an animalic screech, biting into his face and ripping away flesh. But the two of them were grinning, blank eyes wild, like they were enjoying it.\n\nLike they were fucking enjoying it.\n\nI couldn\031t move.\n\nRory.\n\nHer name clouded my thoughts. Rory, Rory, Rory.\n\nMy trembling hands gingerly brushed the back of my jeans, fingering my phone.\n\nI wasn\031t thinking.\n\nFuck. I wasn\031t thinking. I had to get to her.\n\nCool hands were suddenly wrapping around my throat and choking the breath from my lungs. I was on my back, and Connor was on top of me. His eyes were different. Unlike Joey\031s, unlike others around us mindlessly throwing themselves at each other\024there was the slightest glint of awareness in his expression. \n\nA manic smile was stretched across his face. \n\nHe was speaking, but I couldn\031t understand what he was saying. I couldn\031t breathe. With one hand still gripping my throat, Connor pawed for his phone that he\031d dropped. I already knew what he was going to do, and I tried to fight back, tried to shove his body off of me. But I couldn\031t. Not when he was squeezing the breath out of me.\n\nAround me, I only saw red\024pooling red. But no bodies. Kids with pieces torn out of them, kids with only one eye, torso\031s that had been ripped into, spilling glistening innards. They were still moving, contorting around me. Unlike them, Connor was conscious. He was thinking\024but his thoughts had been twisted. Giggling like a little kid, he shoved his phone in my face and I squeezed my eyes shut.\n\nHe was conscious enough to want to show me the video, I thought dizzily.\n\nWhy? Why had it affected Connor differently?\n\nI didn\031t have enough time to think because his thumbs were in my eyes, pulverising.\n\nAnd I was screaming.\n\n\034Gotta look.\035 Connor\031s voice was a hysterical giggle riddled with static.\n\nThe phone blinked on and off, on and off, like\024like it was connected to him.\n\n\034Gotta look! Gotta look!\035\n\nPain exploded.\n\nNuclear pain. Pain that I didn\031t think was possible\024that I didn\031t think I could feel.\n\nWhen I cried out, he let go and shoved the phone in my face.\n\nI was looking at exactly what I\031d seen earlier, when Rory had shown me; a fifteen second video of a smiling monkey, and the familiar audio from the meme. I didn\031t see anything wrong with it at first, but it wasn\031t the video that was the problem. It was what overlaid it, a low frequency screech rattling my ears. \n\nI felt Connor\031s fingers grasping at my eyes and pulling my eyelids open, and I was forced to watch it. I was forced to drink it in. I won\031t be fully able to write out what happened to me, because I still don\031t know. I only remember splinters. I remember something snapping inside my head. I felt it, like something in my brain had been severed. I remember a boy coming up behind Connor wielding a fire extinguisher and beating him over the head\024over and over and over again until he was a mess of unrecognisable squirming flesh.\n\nBut I found it& funny. No, more than funny. Hysterical. I laughed, and others around me joined in. I laughed, and my thoughts grew blurry and disjointed. I stood up, swaying from side-to side, and I remember wanting the boy to do it again. I wanted to see Connor\031s skull smashed in. I wanted to see his brains splattered on the floor, a look of hopelessness on his face.\n\nBut I didn\031t get that. Even when I grabbed the fire extinguisher myself and continued the assault, bringing it down on Connor\031s head\024what was left of his face didn\031t lose its skeletal smile.\n\nAnd he didn\031t die. He didn\031t drop. Connor just lay there, his body rattling, trembling, with each discarded phone. Listen. I\031ve wanted to skip over this part. I\031ve wanted to lie to you and pretend it didn\031t happen. But it did. I became a puppet, and my only thought was to cause pain.\n\nI killed people and ate their innards like it was a snack. I was part of this sadistic hive mind, a group of kids with enough consciousness to know what they were doing, but the thing inside us, the thing wriggling inside our head, still kept us on a leash. It told us to kill. And we did.\n\nI\031m not sure how many days went by, or maybe weeks, months\024before I was knocked out from behind. Day and night don't exist at Blackwood.\n\nNeither does time. Through splinters in my memory I remember being knocked out from behind. The thing inside me didn\031t like that. It told me to fight back.\n\nIt told me to rip out my attacker\031s throat. \n\nThen, though, something cold was slicing into the back of my neck, and it was the first I\031d felt in so long. I\031m not sure when the thing let me go, or it was forced to let me go, but when I fully came to, aware of all the shit I\031d done, the kids I\031d killed and tortured and eaten, I didn\031t want to stay.\n\nI wanted to die.\n\nI could still taste them on my lips, tainted on my tongue.\n\nWhen I fully came to, I was in a classroom. It had been trashed of course, and barely looked like a classroom anymore. The doors were barricaded with desks and chairs. The light above flickered.\n\nI was tied down to a desk. My arms and legs were bound in rope, and something warm pooled down the back of my neck. There was something there, though, something soft, cushioning my throat.\n\n\034Well, well, well.\035\n\nA voice spoke up. There was a figure in front of me.\n\n\034Welcome. Test subject number eighteen. Forgive me for the restraints, but you have tried to kill me multiple times. I\031ve managed to get it out and judging by your return to sanity it looks like it worked.\035\n\nI couldn\031t find my voice for a moment. The whole time I\031d been a puppet under that thing\031s control, I hadn\031t really used my mouth, instead my thoughts projected between the hive mind we all shared.\n\n\034What?\035 I licked my lips. They tasted like rusty coins.\n\nThe voice was a guy. I recognised him, but I wasn\031t sure where from. When the figure in front of me moved closer, it caught the light. A kid my age hiding behind some serious bed hair hanging in his eyes.\n\nHis smile wasn\031t quite friendly. He looked more excited, like I was this cool new specimen he\031d just put in a jar. \034Holy shit.\035 Peering in my face, the kid chuckled. \034You really are back to normal, huh.\035\n\nBefore I could speak, he cleared his throat. \034Okay, let\031s get this over with.\035 The guy grabbed something-- a notebook? And a pen, twirling the pen between his fingers. \034Name?\035\n\nAt that point I didn\031t know it. I didn\031t know anything about myself except that I was a monster.\n\n\034I don\031t know.\035\n\nHe scribbled something down. \034Uh-huh. How about your age? Do you remember anything about yourself?\035\n\nI did. I remembered that last day. I remembered Connor Marlow. I remembered him trying to kill me.\n\nI shook my head. \034No.\035\n\nHe slammed his notebook shut. \034Forgive me for being gross, but you wanna see it, right?\035\n\n\034See what?\035\n\n\034What I got out of you.\035\n\nI was suddenly all too aware of the makeshift bandage around my neck.\n\n\034You got that thing out?\035\n\n\034Yeah. I used to watch YouTube tutorials.\035 The guy\031s lip curled into a smile. \034I wanted to be a doctor.\035\n\nI struggled to take in his words. In my mind, it was a video that had fucked with my head, that had caused me to go crazy. \034I don\031t understand. How did you get it out? What was there to get out?\035\n\nHis eyes darkened. \034I\031m going to call it a root? I had to wait until night to try. I\031ve figured out it seems to leave the brain during night while it hibernates. No idea. Maybe it\031s taking care of its host.\035\n\nSomething inside my gut twisted.\n\nThe guy wandered over to a small table and picked something up, before making his way back over.\n\nIn his hands was a--- a Coke can.\n\nHe peered at it. \034Not the best container right now, but the science building exploded, thanks to you guys a couple of weeks ago.\035 Shooting me the side eye, the lips quirked into a smirk. Not that I needed the shit or anything. So this will have to do.\035\n\nHolding the can close to me, the guy hovered it in front of my eyes. \034See it?\035\n\nAt first I didn\031t know what he was talking about, before I caught& movement at the bottom of the can. It looked like an octopus tentacle, a single root-like thing coiled at the very bottom of the can.\n\n\034That.\035 The guy pulled the can away. \034Is the Stinky-Uh-oh virus. A crafty little fucker.\035\n\nI blinked at him. \034The what?\035\n\nHe shrugged. \034Let\031s call it the SUU virus. I prefer Uh-Oh Stinky, though. Reminds me of simpler times.\035\n\nI could only stare at him. \034No.\035 I said. \034No, this\024this thing& it\031s just a video!\035\n\nHe nodded. \034Yeah, it started as one. But shit evolves, dude. Have you played Plague Inc?\035\n\nThe guy sighed. \034You\031ve been out of it for like, I don\031t know, eight months? Things have changed. April Fools Day, a mass text was sent to every device in the school and everyone who saw it lost their minds. There are three categories. There are the Walking Dead rip-offs who rejected the virus and went full zombie mode. Then there are successes\024the ones the virus aimed to make. An army of psychopaths which you were part of\035 He lost his smile. \n\n\034They hunt down kids who survived and kept their minds and force them to watch the video. And that\031s if they\031re feeling merciful. I\031ve seen them beat kids heads in, rip them apart\024cut off their limbs slowly, so they feel everything. Fuck, I\031ve even seen them eat a girl alive.\035 Finally, he pointed to himself. \034There are kids like me, who forgot to charge their phones that day.\035 The guy shrugged. \034Or in my case, fell asleep. I tend to do that a lot.\035\n\nBefore I could speak, he continued, gesturing around him. \034All of us living in a so-called Utopia, ruled by Aurora Michaelson, their creator, and who they treat like a damn god.\035\n\nSticking his fingers down his throat, he pretended to gag.\n\n\034It\031s messed up. Whatever that thing is, it\031s taken complete control of her. She\031s like the Queen.\035\n\nI went cold all over. \034Rory?\035 I whispered. \034Do you mean Rory?\035\n\n\034Is that her name?\035 He pulled a face. \034Yeah. I mean, you\031ll know what I mean when you see her.\035\n\n\034When I& see her?\035\n\nThe kid frowned at me before sighing and undoing my restraints. He held out a hand for me to grab, and I took it thankfully. He pulled me off the desk. \034I\031m Jasper, by the way. If that thing is still lingering inside of you and you try anything, I won\031t hesitate killing you.\035 He smiled wryly. \034No hard feelings?\035\n\nI struggled to steel myself, my head spinning. \034How long have I been&\035 I trailed off.\n\n\034One of them?\035 Jasper strode over to the window and pulled back curtains spattered red. I followed him, hesitantly. There were bars on the windows. When I pressed my face against them, I glimpsed a flash of green outside. Jasper gestured to the bars. \034They put us in quarantine a day after the outbreak. At first it seemed like they were helping, but the freaks just ate them when they tried coming in, and then you guys warned them not to step on territory. So, since then, they\031ve pretty much given up on us. They don\031t want what\031s in here to get out there. Selfish, but I can see where they\031re coming from.\035\n\nI was already moving away from him and kneeling on the floor near the door, peering at vine like roots entangled in the hinge. \034What is that?\035\n\nHe came to kneel next to me. Jasper had lost his smile. \034When that thing can\031t take control, it basically explodes in their heads. It doesn\031t kill them, keeping the body alive\024and whatever that is sprouts from their head. It\031s everywhere. All over the school. It started in the IT room and spread here. Thankfully, that shit isn\031t dangerous without a host\024and just like the SUCC virus, it goes to sleep at night.\035 \n\nThe boy turned to me when I got to my feet. \034There\031s something else I should show you, but we have to be quiet, okay? At these hours your gang sleeps in the corridors, and freaks still roam around. Whatever this thing is, it\031s intelligent and has built an army of sorts. The ones who didn\031t go zombie have one mission, and that's to convert survivors.\035 He shuddered. \034They\031re her so-called loyal followers. and you were one too. They\031re probably looking for you, so we have to keep a seriously low profile.\035\n\nJasper shot me the side-eye. \034Unless you want to go back to them.\035\n\nIgnoring his snide remark, I focused on Rory. \034I need to get her. Rory, I mean.\035\n\n\034That doesn\031t sound like a good idea. There are guards.\035\n\n\034Do you know how to get past them?\035\n\nHe frowned. \034I\031m working on it. I managed to brain you, didn\031t I?\035\n\nI nodded, and slowly, Jasper removed the barricades and we stepped out onto the corridor. It was pitch black, though my eyes adjusted easily. I asked him why I could see, and he explained it was part of heightened senses, triggered by the virus. Jasper wielded a baseball bat and moved quickly, dragging me with him. Thick greenery engulfed the corridors, a root like plant tangled in every door.\n\n\034If you see a phone, smash it to pieces in the daylight.\035 He said. I didn\031t understand what he meant until we were kneeling in front of what was left of Connor Marlow. His body was still intact, still breathing, despite him being nothing but quivering flesh. Jasper used the sleeve of his sweater to pick up a discarded phone next to Connor. \n\nThe screen flashed on and I flinched. \n\nJasper lay a hand on my shoulder.\n\n\034Cool it, It\031s dead for now.\035\n\n\034For now?\035\n\n\034Mmm. Look.\035 Jasper pointed to the screen where something flashed up. \034They don\031t show the video anymore, just this.\035 He sent me a look. \034I\031d advise smashing it to pieces during the day time though.\035\n\nHis words twisted something in my gut as I peered at numbers in glaring green.\n\nIt looked like they were counting down.\n\n\034They\031re all connected.\035 Jasper said, nodding at Connor, and the bodies around him.\n\n\034See? Whatever happens to them, the phones react to it. And vice versa.\035\n\nWhen Jasper hovered the phone over Connor, his body rattled, eyes flickering.\n\nBeneath me, the ground rumbled.\n\n\034What was that?\035 I hissed out.\n\n\034That.\035 Jasper murmured. \034Is the latest update.\035\n\nHe was right. Peering at the numbers, it was at 67% complete.\n\n\034Update.\035 I repeated. \034For what?\035\n\n\034No clue. This thing has been learning through us. I\031m gonna guess it\031s bad, though? You know, considering they have the ability to shake the earth and play with the lights.\035\n\nAs he said that, the bulb above us, the one that I thought was dead, sparked slightly.\n\nBefore lighting up.\n\nI jumped up, something warm creeping up my throat. I was reminded of what I\031d been eating for the last god knows how long, and I had to bite into my lower lip to stop myself barfing.\n\n\034Wait.\035 Jasper hissed out.\n\nHe fell to his knees, crawling over to Connor.\n\nJasper used the butt of his baseball bat to poke at something moving\024slithering on the floor next to Connor\031s ear. \034No way,\035 He hissed. \034That\031s& That's brain tissue." Jasper said, his voice quivering. "It's combined itself through our brain tissue and learned and evolved into a physical form.\035\n\nI peered at the thing, cringing at the way it squirmed. \034That\031s what you got out of me, right?\035\n\nThe guy straightened up and turned to me. \034Yeah.\035 His breath was shuddery. \034But it\031s not supposed to be able to survive outside of us. The one I pulled out of you was dead the second it touched the can. If this thing can survive outside of us too, we\031re fucked. Because what the fuck comes after that?\035\n\nHe poked at the thing again, his voice a hysterical breath. He stamped on it, but when Jasper lifted his foot it was still wriggling, still squirming, before slithering back into Connor\031s ear.\n\nFootsteps interrupted what I was sure was going to be a cry ripping from my throat.\n\nRunning footsteps.\n\nLaughter\024almost sing-song static noise which crackled in my ear.\n\n\034Marrraaaaaaaa?\035\n\n\034Come and play, Maraaaaaaaa!\035\n\nTheir voices were like a symphony in my ears, reminding me of my name.\n\nI& felt them. If that makes sense.\n\nI felt them coming closer. But the thing that had been inside me was gone.\n\nSo why did I still feel tethered to them?\n\nI caught Jasper\031s frightened eyes. \034Mara.\035 He whispered. \034Is that you?\035\n\nI could only nod.\n\n\034Well, shit. It\031s your friends.\035 Jasper grabbed my hand, flattening us against the wall. \034We should go.\035\n\nWe found a classroom and barricaded the doors. They don\031t try and get us at night.\n\nThat\031s what Jasper said.\n\nIt\031s only in the daylight.\n\nThat was three days ago. Since then, we\031ve been here.\n\nWe\031re safe for now. I can\031t stop thinking about this update. What does it mean? Jasper told me the internet has been cut off, but in the same breath he admitted that he\031s pretty sure we- all of us together- act like a modem. I don\031t know how I\031m getting a connection, but if anyone\031s reading:\n\nYou have to help us. Get us out of here.\n\nIt\031s weird. I haven\031t had time to come to terms with what I\031ve done yet. I know it will hit me soon.\n\nI hope& God, I hope it\031s fast.\n\nRory\031s out there, and I\031ve got to find her.\n\nI know this wasn\031t her fault. I know it.\n\n&right?
## 521 As some of you may know, April is Autism Acceptance Month & as someone who spends a lot of time trying to research aspects of Felix for fic-writing, my view on who he is has changed dramatically over the past year, in particular. Namely, a lot of how he acts reminds me of my own autistic symptoms. Some traits I can see as just quirks that don't necessarily signal ASD & others that I couldn't see without thinking "he's definitely autistic, right? I'm not losing it?" And I mean this in a very good way.\n\nIt was frequent enough that I honestly believe Felix may have been written to be autistic\024especially considering characters like Marianne and Bernie exist. The writers for this game clearly aimed a lot of their focus on different types of mental conditions/disorders, so Felix being autistic doesn't feel like a stretch to me, given some of his traits.\n\nNow, Felix isn't the only one to exhibit potentially autistic traits\024I know many in the fandom like to think that Lin also has ASD (maybe ADHD as well). However, I'm more comfortable writing about Felix here because I feel his traits are the closest to my own & he's maybe my favorite 3H character\024so I've looked into him more than other units (not to say I get him more than everyone else, because I'm not very smart).\n\nI know that Felix being so much deeper below the surface is a real basic take, given his popularity. Viewing him as autistic ain't exactly a unheard of either. But As An Autistic Person" who's also a massive fan of Felix, I want to put a spotlight on him & show not only why I think he's autistic, but why I also feel it's very important & awesome that he is.\n\nThis will be more of a vibes-based analysis by an autistic person than an actual diagnosis from a licensed psychiatrist, however. Let me be clear: I am just one person with a syndrome that is incredibly broad in terms of symptoms. I'm not a substitute for every other autistic person/a trained psychologist/psychiatrist. It affects people across many other different demographics. And autism is a spectrum, not an intensity slider\024you don't get more "severe" symptoms, the more autisms you have (hence why stuff like high/low-functioning are rather murky terms). It's an extremely varied condition & thus, please keep in mind that more autistic voices besides mine deserve to be heard.\n\nThat said, because I have ASD & have this handy thing called the [DSM-5](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html)\024basically Mental Diagnoses for Dummies\024I'm gonna at least make an attempt to explain my thought process, hopefully while sounding intelligible.\n\n***Part 1: Felix's Symptoms***\n\nLet's get the easy symptom out of the way: he hates making eye contact. I believe [it's only mentioned once](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/tea), but he states that even with Byleth, he hates making eye contact when he talks. That alone isn't much of an indicator of autism, but that was certainly one of the most obvious indicators & one that got me thinking he was autistic, after seeing everything else\n\nThis is one of the most well-known symptoms of ASD and it's certainly symptom I have. However, it's deceptively hard to describe. I don't know why exactly, but I feel very uncomfortable about meeting eyes with another person in a way I can't easily explain. This might be an area where someone else with ASD would do a better job of explaining why.\n\nThere's also Felix being very blunt. Most of what he says seems to have little tact whatsoever (probably because he doesn't realize/care in the moment how he sounds). Linhardt is somewhat similar in this regard\024though he sounds more oblivious & somewhat snippy, while Felix sounds much more aggressive & forceful\024in large part because of their different upbringings. Sometimes his curtness is intentional, other times it seems to just be how he talks. Which can lead to a bit of a disconnect where he's mostly talking in a somewhat rude way, when he's seemingly just trying to voice his own boundaries or opinions. Not that it's always justified, but as you'll soon see, there are instances where it makes a lot of sense why Felix comes off as extremely irritable.\n\nAgain, not automatically an indicator, but this is a stumbling lock for many autistic people. Which is because how we express ourselves can be quite different from a neurotypical person and vice-versa. This is called the double empathy problem, where autistic & allistic (non-autistic) people have a hard time reading what the other is thinking, which can lead to a lot of miscommunication very fast because they are on different wavelengths, so to speak.\n\nWhile we're talking about delivery, we should probably talk about how he looks at jokes. Now, Felix has quips & clapbacks for days, but he'll be the first to say that he doesn't really joke. In fact, [he sees no point in it unless Byleth convinces him otherwise](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/advice). Granted, it could just be because he's always serious business, but one symptom autistic people have is being a bit literal-minded. I myself had to train on learning sarcasm & that took yrs to get down. Even now, while I'm "decent" with guessing sarcasm through text, I still stumble with it, especially IRL.\n\nSpeaking of insincerity a lot of supports have Felix chiding others for [what he sees as them being insincere/](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dorothea/Felix/A_PLUS#event-75)[wearing a false mask](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dimitri/Felix/C#event-6). It seems that Felix simply hates people that won't be real with him. He doesn't really understand not just being honest with people and doesn't see the need for jokiness or being fake with someone. It's partly why his speech is rather to-the-point and direct\024why dress up a conversation and not just get to the point?\n\nThis all could have more to do with Felix thinking very literally & not getting the point of being dishonest with one's feelings. And to be fair to Felix, if he doesn't feel embarrassed, he's honest about how he thinks\024however brutally he may express that honesty. Autistic folks can be the same way, which has caused many a headache in my case (such as the 7 yrs I spent working fast food/retail).\n\nOne of the cool things about Felix is that he's very aware of how bluntly he comes across, if only afterward. He's actually seen apologizing to Sylvain for calling him insatiable, *kind of* owning up to Leonie calling him out for his casual sexism, [& he softens to Mercedes treating him like her younger brother](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Mercedes/B#event-39). They're very small instances & it's not like he apologizes to everyone he acted like a dick to (ex. Dedue), but I like that he's at least a little self aware about how he may seem & to an extent, he does care about not being an ass to others. Sometimes.\n\nFelix's more caring side is actually real fun to analyze when you're looking through the lens of him being autistic, because it does a *far* better job than a lot of other media. In spite of his grouchiness & his desire to be alone, he shows compassion at many points or just care about the safety of his friends. We don't even need to talk about his reaction to Dimitri's death outside of AM/in their shared ending, he shows plenty in taking a sword for Ingrid in their AM ending, [jumping to Bernie's defense](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Bernadetta/Felix/A#event-34), or [showing regret over striking Rodrigue](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/advice).\n\nAutistic people actually are able to empathize with allistic people\024even if we struggle telling intent or what's going on inside their heads. Autistic people can feel especially strong affective empathy for others (hell, the belief that we can't is itself a display of not showing empathy towards autistic folks). This isn't something that is the same across every single autistic person on the planet (hence neuro*diversity*), but generally when we get how someone is thinking & feel it ourselves, we *feel* it.\n\nFelix clearly has a lot of it, even if getting him to admit to the people he cares about most that he loves them is like pulling teeth\024if those teeth were bonded to his gums with industrial cement.\n\nOf course, his S-Support is yet another instance of this, where his idea of a proposal is "I'll need you as a sparring partner for the rest of my life... okay, just this once, I'll say I love you, **but never again**." It's just that his brand of autism impedes with expressing his romantic side\024it's not something he's used to expressing & it's an emotion that makes him feel weird & flustered. I love how his Goddess Tower conversation foreshadows this by stating that he feels more comfortable with a sword than doing something as hardcore as holding hands. All of this is to say that Felix is lowkey a massive fucking dork & it's so precious.\n\nNow, let's move to the opposite side of the coin, his dislike of conversation with others. I want to specifically look at his Dorothea supports, namely his B-Support with her. [Much like Lin](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Linhardt/Dorothea/C#event-51), [Dorothea finds Felix fascinating because he doesn't care about his status](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dorothea/Felix/B#event-27)\024which he responds by saying "why bother when I can focus on what matters to me? The people who care about appearances suck ass, anyway" (I'm paraphrasing, here).\n\nThis not only solidifies his belief that insincerity is dumb, but also shows that how he sees the world is in general differently than most people (or at least Dorothea) do. Just because he thinks differently form one person wouldn't *normally* be much of an indication for ASD. But considering it's related to simply wanting to avoid conversation so he can have fun with his own interests & it's very similar to how Lin\024another student theorized to have ASD\024acts, I like to think it's an indication of ASD. Not exactly concrete, but I thought it was interesting.\n\nThe dub adds an interesting addition that by pure accident, actually strengthens the argument of Felix thinking differently than most others. In his C-Support with Ingrid, she specifically praises his creative mind & how he should be leading the army ([in Japanese, it's more about how his battle experience is essential for an army](https://twitter.com/slip_fe3h/status/1200595993256849408)).\n\nEven outside of the dub text, I do really like this attempt by Ingrid to get Felix to expand his horizons by pointing out that it doesn't conflict with his own interests.\n\nThis tactical/creative way of thinking ties well into Felix's gameplay too, in the form of his Reason budding talent. He's smart, but he needs someone to help guide & accommodate for his, so he can bring that intelligence out better. It's not like he's completely unwilling to show that intelligence in other areas, either. He figures out the Death Knight's identity and [he shows amusement at the Empire/Flame Emperor being connected](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/131#event-144), implying he pieced it together. Felix isn't an idiot outside of his interests, which is sadly novel for autistic representation.\n\nSpeaking of being good at a certain thing, there's Felix as a warrior\024which plays into a staple of autistic diagnoses: hyperfixations. In my case, the featureless void that could charitably be called my brain tends to get stuck on something I enjoy & can stay there for anywhere from days to even months. If I'm not actually experiencing the thing I'm obsessing about, I tend to want to research into it.\n\nThis isn't a feature(?) exclusive to ASD, of course\024people with ADHD probably saw this & related hard to it. Hell, this subreddit & others like it are basically giant dens of hyperfixations for a lot of people, allistic or otherwise. But this symptom is definitely seen as one of the core aspects of ASD.\n\nThis leads to the stereotype of autistic people basically being walking encyclopedias about what we like\024usually only one thing, which isn't really accurate. And that's not even getting into the savant stereotype (ex. "wow, you're just like Rain Man"!) which has the side affect of making autistic people who aren't super skilled at one thing seem "lesser" by comparison, which isn't a good thing for autism acceptance.\n\nIn Felix's case, if you want to add in supports & tea time he has more varied interests [than Dimitri](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/3/Dimitri/activities/gifts), whose interests are limited to training, weapons, & horseriding. Still, Felix certainly hyperfocuses on training the most. He's often seen in the training grounds, lots of his preferred gifts & lost items relate to fighting/swords/training, & he goes as far to say that he feels more comfortable holding swords than hands (which also ties into his discomfort in expressing romantic attraction).\n\nIt's his zone, where he doesn't have to worry about anything. In fact, he in several supports [gets interrupted](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Flayn/C#event-19) [in the middle of training](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Sylvain/C#event-9) & [is clearly agitated by it](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dorothea/Felix/C#event-28). Which is something that can easily happen when you're butting into an autistic person's routine unprompted. We like our boxes often & taking us out of them can really bother us.\n\nAnd because he's down bad for training, he's a monster on the battlefield\024Cipher (FE's card game) [even gave him his own moniker that basically means your SOL against him](https://twitter.com/slip_fe3h/status/1288066914422411265). This tracks in gameplay, with him having such incredible stats that he's only surpassed in strength by two literal superhumans.\n\nThat said, Felix being so ungodly strong potentially brings in an unfortunate implication of being a savant. I wouldn't quite say he falls into this however, as there are moments such as [him admitting his brother was stronger than him](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Byleth/Felix/A#event-28), & [even gets whooped by Leonie](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Leonie/B) albeit not in a straight-up brawl. While he's certainly great at what he does, it's not like he were some min-maxed D&D character designed only for fights and trading away charisma pts.\n\nBuilding off his focused interests, I really like this [small piece of dialogue during part 1 from those once-a-month student questions before tutoring begins](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/classroom). When asking why he should try out magic, Felix responds best to the reason (heh) being that it makes him better at something he enjoys\024in this case, like almost always, swords. What he specifically hates, even more than being told "shut up & go to class," (the neutral option) is that it's good to get out of his comfort zone.\n\nDon't get me wrong, just because he doesn't want to go out of his comfort zone doesn't automatically mean that he could be autistic. However, Felix hates the idea of that over being told to stop complaining\024something that happens a lot to him & he's clearly bothered by it. And repetitive behaviors are often one of the biggest factors in an autistic diagnosis. It just seems too specific not to be an indicator that he's neurodivergent, at least to me.\n\nHell, Ingrid actually tried to do something along those lines as noted previously by showing Felix that his interests aren't incompatible with tactics. It doesn't *quite* work (he joins the classes she wants him to, but he's not happy about it), but it's really neat to see this in action at multiple points. In fact, she *also* dislikes telling Felix to step out of his comfort zone! Which retroactively makes that earlier dub addition better!\n\nWhile we're on the topic of repetitive interests & comfort zones, this doesn't just have to mean what a person likes doing. Case in point: how Felix [basically only likes spicy food, meat/fish, & oddly enough cheese gratin](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/foods). At least in my experience, it's kind of a running gag in my family that I'm the pickiest guy on earth when it comes to eating. I legit can't help it, some food just makes me gag no matter how much I try to make myself like it & I can eat my favorites for days on end without getting *too* sick of it.\n\nThere's actually a support that not only addresses this, but in an extremely cute way, too. His Lysithea support is predicated around two things: Lysithea being embarrassed about sweets & her trying to get him to like them. I know some may see this as just her forcing Felix to like what she likes, but I actually see this as a lowkey sweet (pun intended) way of trying to address how to work with neurodivergent people/people with disabilities in general.\n\nFelix specifically dislikes sweets for how strong they can be, which may tie into sensory overload\024taste *is* one of the five senses, after all. Sensory overload is exactly what it sounds like\024something's way too loud/bright or flashes too intensely & it becomes way too much for autistic folks, who are often more susceptible to this kind of thing. Though ironically there are instances where we also need/desire stimulation in our day to day (ex. needing music to work on something). This can also happen with strong scents & tastes, which can *sorta* apply here, if you stretch it.\n\nAnd what does Lysithea do to help with that? [She makes sweets specific to his interests by making them less potent](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Lysithea/B#event-57). In other words, she accommodates him & tries to help make it so he can enjoy something she also does by making some slight adjustments.\n\nGranted, she *is* kinda pushy about it at the end of the day, and I can definitely see the perspective that she's forcing him into a situation he wants no part in\024which is a **BIG** no-no for autistic people. It's very muddled, but I appreciate the intent to show someone trying to be more inclusive to an autistic person in order to help expand their horizons in a way they'd like.\n\nPlus, I also love how it's clearly motivated by [Lysithea having this absolutely adorable crush on Felix, going by her blushing](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Lysithea/A#event-52). I personally like to see it as her trying to give them something to enjoy together because of a crush & honestly I love that, for him.\n\nThere's also one more fun thing I really like about this chain. We have a support where a short, white-haired girl with two Crests and a very driven personality is seen trying to accommodate a rather aloof guy with very specific tastes in order to get him to either broaden his horizons/include him on something she's passionate about.\n\nAm I talking about Felix & Lysithea's support chain or [Lin & El's](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Edelgard/Linhardt/A_PLUS#event-27)?\n\nObviously, I'm stretching things a tad, but if they were both written to be autistic, then having Felix & Lin have such similar chains despite being such different people is an utterly fantastic way of showing how autistic folks can be near polar opposites, yet share similar traits. Either this was intentional or somehow the writers made scenarios with near-identical plot beats & character dynamics twice without even thinking about it. Personally, after all that I've vomited up for you guys at this point, I like to think it was the former & I *love* this kind of stuff!\n\nI can't stress enough that, were this intentional, it's such a brilliant way of highlighting how being on the spectrum doesn't mean you are exactly like every person on it. And as I mentioned before, Felix & Lin already have some similarities in how they view the world, even if what they desire are polar opposites.\n\nWith all that said, is it possible that I'm just reaching or reading between lines that aren't there, and Felix isn't meant to be autistic? I mean, my brain's tiny, so it's definitely possible. But I can't look at Felix without believing that on some level, he's autistic.\n\nHowever, we aren't even close to finished. I've talked about the symptoms, but that alone isn't all I wanted to say. Because there's more to an autistic person than just their symptoms. As mentioned before, Lin's drastically different from Felix & he also seemingly has ASD. People aren't just born, they're also made through their environment and the people around them, after all. And Felix is maybe one of the biggest examples in the game, if not *the* biggest. So now I ask...\n\n***Part 2: How much is nature and how much is nurture?***\n\nJust because Felix's autism can explain to a degree why he talks & acts the way he does, it obviously doesn't excuse *every* action he makes. A large part of his actions & his values are because of where he was raised. Faerghus is not a good place to live, even before the Tragedy. To give a heavily abridged version of [a *much* longer post I'd made](https://www.reddit.com/r/FireEmblemThreeHouses/comments/mfv4k9/the_holy_kingdom_of_liberation_how_nemesis_and/), one of the prevailing aspects of the Kingdom is that it takes the concept of traditional masculinity to negative **extremes**.\n\nLook at Felix, who's arguably one of the manliest members of the cast, albeit in a much more Japanese sense than European. He's on the prettier side with no facial scars/freckles (which ties into Japanese male beauty standards), [he's implied to be very muscular](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Leonie/B#event-31) while having a slender frame, [he has an incredibly deep voice in Japanese](https://fedatamine.com/ja/supports/Byleth/Felix/A) & [also uses incredibly masculine Japanese pronouns\024such as using *ore* for himself & *omae* for others](https://www.reddit.com/r/fireemblem/comments/es0804/role_language_the_blue_lions_students_speech/).\n\nOnce again, he mainly eats meat & spicy foods & if we're going by [his Azure Moon ending with Leonie, definitely likes to drink](https://fe3h.noobsaigon.com/felix/leonie), so even what he eats lines up with the image of a manly man. There's also his love for [hunting](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/basics)/[hunting knives](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/gifts), which isn't exclusive to men in this game (ex. Petra), but it's usually traditionally associated more often with men.\n\nManliness isn't the only aspect of Faerghus present in his characterization. I brushed past this in the previous incoherent rant that could be generously be called an "essay," but Faerghus isn't just a mixture of Spartans & Catholicism, but also the [romanticized version of samurai culture](https://www.tofugu.com/japan/bushido/).\n\nThe knights' obsession with their lords, alive or dead, is much more pronounced in 3H because of the heavy samurai coding\024for example, Gilbert is basically a ronin, if we look at his motivations & him leaving Faerghus. And this is just conjecture, but Areadbhar may be specifically shaped like [a naginata](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naginata), which were heavily used by samurai.\n\nIt's also why in CF, you aren't able to spare anyone in the Kingdom army (aside from CF-18), because they are operating off the mindset of a Japanese soldier, where surrender isn't acceptable\024just look at the Japanese army in WWII. Compare this to the Adrestian army outside of CF/SS, where you can spare half of the Eagles & the Alliance army, where you only need to kill Judith. This feeds into the death culture of Faerghus & its particular brand of death-obsessed nationalism.\n\nNow, look at Felix. He ties his hair back like a samurai, [he was raised on both swords & bows](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/classroom)\024which are both associated with the samurai/ronin\024& obviously, he is designed as a medieval take on the samurai-esque Swordmaster. [Cipher specifically has him as a Mortal Savant for one of its cards](https://fireemblemwiki.org/wiki/File:TCGCipher_B21-006HN.png), just to rub that in further.\n\nI'm pretty sure this isn't a surprise to you all, but it illustrates my point in how Faerghusean Felix is (Faerghusan? Faerghish? I don't know what to use here). It's baked into his design, attitude, interests, and even in how he talks. If Nemesis/Dimitri are the embodiment of Grecian/white European masculinity, then Felix is reflective of Japanese masculinity. As different as they are similar, much like Dimitri & Felix.\n\nAnd going by what Sylvain says, Felix used to be a lot more openly tender compared to the edgelord he is now. Which makes sense, because of what he had to do as a young teen. [Felix was raised by a family of soldiers and knights](https://serenesforest.net/three-houses/monastery/tea-party/felix/) & was taught to embrace battle at a young age\024needing to learn how to wield a sword before he could write. The oldest Felix must've been when he was expected to violently suppress rebellions, was fifteen, since the Galatea Rebellion was two years before the game's beginning. And I highly doubt that the Galatea rebellion was his 1st battle ever, especially since he was literally raised on battling to survive. Fighting & having to suppress his feelings in order to survive on the battlefield is what he was expected to do, which would impact anyone, let alone someone who already expresses his emotions differently than others (well, obviously also Rodrigue making him cynical).\n\nI'm not the only person to see this, because so does Felix. For as **many** problems as Felix understandably has with the obsession with chivalry, he's actually really glad he grew up there. [He outright says to Byleth that growing up in a place where you had to fight to survive/live without commonplace values was perfect for him](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Byleth/Felix/C#event-42). So, of course, the not-so-good aspects of Faerghus, like the sexism or obsession with strength, would rub off on him.\n\nThat said, all those little blemishes are actually part of why I adore Felix. He's a prickly prick who says & does some unnecessarily cruel things\024& I love that! Felix's faults aren't all inherently tied to his condition, in fact a lot of his issues are more complex & could've easily been exhibited by anyone. I know it probably sounds weird for someone to say, "oh yeah, my fav is problematic and that rules!" but in this case, I can't really think of a response other than that! He's a contradictory mix of a lot of good & bad traits, as well as likes, dislikes and friendships that are all incredibly realistic. And not once does it feel like it's simply because "autistic & therefore uncaring," but just that he's a cynic & grew up somewhere that didn't help him express himself well (autistic =/= get out of jail free card for saying/doing offensive shit). More of this kind of depth for autistic characters, please!\n\nThis capacity for causing a lot of harm and a lot of good exists in characters like El, Sylvain, Dimitri, etc. & it's reflected incredibly well here, because Felix often can fluctuate from one or the other, depending on the scene or even in the same scene! He has some good & bad takes, just like everyone (myself included), which makes his behaviors all the more realistic and interesting.\n\nOf course, an analysis of Felix his upbringing wouldn't be complete without addressing Rodrigue. Ye goddess, Rodrigue. [Even by his own admission, the man wasn't the greatest father to Felix](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/172#event-92) & yikes, does it show. While he attributes their vitriol to just a "[difference of opinion](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/293#event-80)," like this was just something they agree to disagree on, Rodrigue doesn't really treat any of Felix's own opinions with respect\024calling him [young, foolish](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/293#event-73), & thick-headed. Then there's him shutting down Felix multiple times when he (**accurately**) [says Dimitri's walking a dangerous path](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/175#event-150).\n\nAnd going by what Felix says to Dimitri, this was basically the norm at home, [with Rodrigue going on & on about something that Felix was sick of hearing](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dimitri/Felix/A#event-19). But obviously, him being a teenager & stupid must be the reason he doesn't see things his father's way, right? It's not because praising someone's brother [getting brutally murdered in such horrendous ways that his remains couldn't be salvaged](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Dimitri/Ingrid/B_PLUS#event-22) to his face is a little bit fucked up and gross, or anything!\n\nYes, I know that blind loyalty & country/revenge over reason are big themes of AM. But that doesn't make it any frustrating to sit through over & over again. Felix has every reason to be angry with Rodrigue, because he has a lot of correct points that, while expressed rather crassly, don't deserve to be ignored. And although "who cares how rude I am if I'm right" isn't an airtight attitude by any stretch of the imagination, that doesn't mean Felix being rude is a rebuttal of his points, either. Especially since, again, Felix was in the right! [Rodrigue even agrees with him post-timeskip](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/scenarios/172#event-99) and *still* tells Felix to shove it!\n\nWhile, textually, this is more about their views on knights/the crown, it takes on a whole new level of frustrating once you realize how eerily similar this is to how autistic people's concerns tend to be treated. There are whole organizations, in fact, that're built off that.\n\nAnd it's shown time & time again why that bothers Felix\024from Rodrigue, to his support with Seteth, where [he's basically decided to refrain from conversation altogether](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Seteth/B#event-31), because he doesn't feel like anyone understands him. He literally asks at one point "[*am I alone* for thinking that's grotesque?](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Seteth/B#event-31)" Part of the reason he retreats & is so antisocial is *because* he feels so alienated.\n\nYes, it's partly because he's so uncompromising, but Felix was also stuck growing up in a place where chivalry was forced down his throat. It's no wonder that he's gotten so cynical & resentful over the years. It's hard growing up somewhere that you're being talked down to because your beliefs are diametrically opposed to someone else. Especially when it's your family & that family member is also shutting down what you say because you criticize someone he clearly favors. I wouldn't go as far as to say that Rodrigue's the worst parent in 3H\024which isn't much of an accomplishment\024but he doesn't handle Felix well at all.\n\nThat isn't to say he doesn't have people that don't actually try to accommodate him, of course. As mentioned before, Lysithea's a thing, as is Ingrid. Outside of [Ingrid's frustration with him not wanting to talk with his dad in Part 1](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/monastery/5#event-base-3-12) (which Felix needs), she is nothing but kind to him on a regular basis. In fact, minus the whole Glenn thing, her side of the support is trying to get his opinion on how to handle a battle situation because she really values it.\n\nA lot Felix's best scenes are when other characters are trying to be nice to him\024& I'm not just saying that because seeing an autistic person being accommodated is validating. Rather, it actually shows good ways to treat someone on the spectrum. Even at their worst, they're at least kind-hearted attempts that flub up a little, here & there, but not to an huge degree and still much better than most other "attempts" you'll usually find elsewhere.\n\nThere's also some of the smaller stuff, like his canonical soft spot for kids. For example, he'll literally just hand kids random cakes that some angry gremlin who can blow his head off gave him & he responds well to "children at the market," in his tea time. It's a nice detail that humanizes him a bit more, even though it's so small.\n\nIn fact, [his tea times in general are great looks at Felix's nicer side](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/characters/13/Felix/activities/tea), such him saying that he really likes spending time with Byleth or how he's thankful for all they've done for him. And that makes perfect sense, because naturally Byleth is (to Felix) both caring & a badass, so of course Felix would be more open with them! And he even tries to get to know Byleth\024which, remember, this is someone who hates conversation\024so clearly if Felix likes you/you don't actively annoy him, he'll put aside that dislike just to learn more about you.\n\nMuch like Edie, Dimitri, Sylvain, & so many others in this cast, Felix is capable of both causing great harm and also having a capacity for kindness\024just in his own way. He's got a huge heart behind all the barbed wire that he keeps firmly wrapped around it.\n\nAnd there's one small, amazing set of scenes where everything I've talked about so far comes to a head in a wonderful fashion. If you know me or have noticed that something's been skipped, you may know where this is going.\n\nBefore I wrap this up, I want to talk about his dynamic with Ashe Ubert\024living cinnamon bun.\n\n***Part 3: Compassion***\n\nThe easiest about the Ashe/Felix support chain that relates to the treatment of autistic people is how Ashe happily hands Felix the knight's tale that he thinks that Felix would have the best chance of liking. There isn't too much to say here that I haven't already said, other than I love how he takes Felix insulting his favorite thing in stride. He doesn't even flinch at Felix just absolutely shitting on his interests with zero mercy & instead is like, "oh, he'll *love* this!" I love this goober so much.\n\nIt's mainly the B-Support that I just want to spend the next few minutes gushing about. Immediately, [Felix recognizes that Ashe is still thinking about Lonato's death](https://fedatamine.com/en-us/supports/Felix/Ashe/B#event-20) and at no point is he anything less than understanding & amicable in this support\024the complete opposite of last time. And the earliest this can happen is right after Ashe's paralogue, so it's possible that part of the reason Felix knew to go to the cathedral where Ashe is praying at is because he could tell that Ashe must have had that on his mind.\n\nFelix shows a great degree of emotional wisdom & kindness in how he treats Ashe & I absolutely love it. This scene is arguably the best example in the entire game of Felix showing his sweet, caring side toward another person. He's calm & encouraging toward Ashe, to the point that he encourages him to become the knight in the story he loved. This is a man who despises the knights to their core, so Felix saying this really shows how his empathic side can override his dislikes.\n\nWhen it comes time to correct Ashe on what he meant in the last support, he does it calmly & gently in a way we scarcely see from Felix. Here he is nothing but warm to Ashe & it's wonderful. I love this chain more than words can express. I love how in this one scene, Felix opens up without getting shy & instead uses that to help others. I love how he corrects Ashe's assumption about what he meant without even a little aggression.\n\nThere's also the mindblowing thing about this support in retrospect. Despite Lonato's death being such a massive thing for Ashe, no student really consoles him over his adoptive dad's death. Byleth & Gilbert do, but not students like Ingrid, Annette, Dedue, etc. Except for Felix. It's one of those things that should be obvious, but it's when I actually sat down & thought about it that it really hit me that Felix is the only Lion to talk with him about this. The house that belongs to a country so obsessed with death, & only one student tries to talk to Ashe about how it affected him! Granted, Ashe may have been consoled off-screen (at least, I'd hope everyone didn't leave him alone & hurting in the cathedral), but it's still notable.\n\nThinking about it more, it makes perfect sense that Felix would be the one to do it, because he too had his life thrown upside-down by an older brother dying in the Tragedy. If anyone would know how hard it is to take in their father's response to all that, it's Felix, though how is dad reacted/how his brother was killed were the exact opposite of what happened with Christophe & Lonato. It may also be because the book he was given hit so close to home that he could just intuit how Ashe felt.\n\nI don't know, but what I do know is this: this scene with these two boys showing incredible empathy & compassion is maybe my favorite among all of the ones in 3H. Partly because I love these two & the whole ASD thing, but also because it speaks to the best aspect of this story. It's incredibly human in a way few games are. Just look at the treatment of characters like Dorothea, Edie, Marianne, Sylvain (I could go all day, really) and you'll see how much effort and nuance went into writing this cast.\n\nHow many pieces of media show an autistic person being legitimately intelligent in an emotional way & offering wisdom to someone he can relate to on a painful level? Where said autistic character is able to put aside their own personal distaste to show warmth & caring to someone else? I'd bet there's not too many.\n\nThere's a level of love & sincerity in this game that's so clear. Even when it flubs up, it still manages to find some way to make me respect what it's going for. I love how 3H is just so kind on a fundamental level, even though there's also so much suffering & grief in it. Almost every playable character in this game & some NPCs have at least a little bit of depth to them & that one of the shining examples is someone that seems to be autistic is such a breath of fresh air.\n\nThere's a reason Felix one of the first characters many think of when they mention that 3H has great character writing. Sometimes he can act out in not-so-good ways, but he isn't a heartless robot that doesn't care about others around him. And when stuff like that Music movie comes out as soon as *2021*, that makes this all the more important.\n\nSo you can imagine how I felt seeing a character I already really liked showing traits that, at least for me, come across as him being autistic. It is so fucking vindicating, let me tell you. 3H is far from perfect, but my god, when it gets something right, it knocks it out of the park.\n\nI love this game so fucking much! Even without Felix, I still would, but just having him be written in such an understandable, compassionate way means the world to me in a way that I have trouble putting into words\024which I guess is appropriate!\n\nThat he's also a character that's for the most part beloved by the fanbase is also just an amazing thing to see. I mean, he obviously doesn't strike a cord with everyone\024and for good reason, Felix is a dick. The point of this post wasn't to convince anyone to like him! Still, if an autistic character being well-written is rare, them being able to nearly top popularity polls with some *super* stiff & plentiful competition is a miracle. (And also, as a lifelong Naruto/Bort fan, getting to say "the cool Sasuke-expy is autistic" is just inherently fun)\n\nNot once is he pitied for his condition or treated like his brain's broken for being wired differently. He's a person that has a condition that impacts how he thinks versus most other people, but never is he viewed as anything besides a human being. He's an autistic person that's treated as valid just for being alive & being himself, which is something that I always wanted to see in the medium I've loved since I was a little kid, & now it's in this amazing mess of a game.\n\nAnd I wouldn't trade that for anything else.
## 531 \nI (19 f) recently had to move in with a guy (24 m) who I\031ve known for a couple of years, I needed somewhere to stay and he was offering me a place for only a couple hundred bucks a month. I\031m really struggling with my mental health lately and some other problems that probably could be put in an entire post by itself (it is literally one thing after another, but this isn\031t about the big dramatic stuff , this is just about my annoying fucking roommate and his bullshit I have to put up with because I\031m without other options) \nWe\031re in an old one bedroom apartment. We have separate beds , but because the room is small and he has a queen size, they are right next to eachother. \nThis dude is really handsy and flirty with me, I mostly just ignore it. Like I said I\031ve known him for a few years and he\031s always kind of been like this but I mostly just ignore it. I have told him multiple multiple times that we are never going to fuck. I told him that before I moved in several times. And it\031s been a couple of months, it\031s the same as it always has been except that he\031s a fucking dickwad. Now his handsy-ness has gotten to a point of making me quite uncomfortable. He just will randomly spank me when I\031m not paying attention, he will grab my boobs randomly, and just generally be kind of a creep. I don\031t usually react to it because I don\031t know how. The most I ever do is just knock his hand off of me or straight face and say Stop it. And that\031s usually all it takes. But it\031s incredibly frustrating for me, I\031ve been meaning to bring it up to him, but he just gets so fucking mad at me over stupid things sometimes, and I\031m frankly kind of scared to say something incase it makes him upset. This is my only option for a place to go right now and I really don\031t want to get kicked out& I knew going into this that he would be some degree of weird towards me but at this point it is annoying as fuck. \nHe also just does things to be an asshole sometimes on purpose. I don\031t know how to explain it properly without making this another million years long so I\031m just gonna leave it at that. \n\nToday I was out with a boy and his car started having troubles. It ended up dying in front of my house at midnight, and he lives fairly far away. My roommate has stated repeatedly that if I ever have anybody in the house he will kick me out immediately. He tells me that any time that I leave the house while he\031s not going to be home. I knew that even suggesting inviting somebody over would result in him getting extremely angry and pissed off with me. I texted my roommate the situation, and complained that I didn\031t want to sleep in a car. I mean we were LITERALLY right outside the front door. \nMy roommate didn\031t care. He said, \034you made him come down to spend time with you, life has consequences, this is one you need to deal with.\035 \n\nA few hours pass and the boy I was with eventually got some roadside assistance and he was able to leave, it was probably 3 around that point . \n \nFast forward to about an hour ago\n\nI was laying in my bed extremely tired, thinking about how I wanted to smoke and then go to sleep. My roommate enters the room and plops down on his bed,( which is right next to mine) and I ask him if he would be willing to go outside and sit with me while I smoke. He says no. I said Okay, and then proceeded to begin falling asleep. I was just on the cusp of falling into sleep, when he decided to reach over and SMACK my ass. It scared me awake and caused me to (somewhat angrily) yell \034STOP IT.\035 At him, he said \034I just wanted to see if you still wanted to go out and smoke.\035 I apologized for snapping at him, and he silently got off his bed and left the room. He does this whenever he\031s mad at me, he just straight up ignores me and walks away , won\031t ever tell me why he\031s mad or anything he just goes silent. \nI figured I might as well just go out and smoke by myself. I leave the room, and he\031s on the couch. I said, \034why are you mad at me?\035 He silently looked at me.\nI said \034Please tell me why you\031re mad at me.\035\nHe said with a pissed off tone \034 Leave me alone I\031m trying to sleep\035\nAnd I said \034Yeah and so was I before you smacked my ass and scared me awake.\035\nAnd then I left to go smoke.\nI took literally less than a minute or two outside, and then when I came back in, the bedroom door was locked. I just sat on the couch and cried and cried. I\031m so exhausted. I have three million other things to worry about right now that have been stressing me out to the point where I can barely sleep already, I don\031t know why he is creating so many unnecessary problems for me.
## 541 I recently made the mistake of telling a close friend I am prescribed meds for my adhd. He was talking about how he takes 30mg XR\031s daily and I mentioned that I take 10mg IR twice a day. Unsurprisingly, he texted me a few days later asking to have some of mine because \034I have so many\035 and he ran out. He claimed his pharmacy could not restock his meds for at least a week. I suggested he get his script transferred to another pharmacy (which is legal in our state). He ignored that and continued to beg me for days following. I tend to be a people pleaser, but I refuse to hand out meds that I need so I finally blatantly said no. He got angry and hasn\031t talked to me since (2 weeks ago). It\031s been really bothering me because:\n\n1. Part of me feels like he was abusing his script and ran out early, hence why he ignored my suggestion to get his refilled elsewhere. (He always talked about needing a higher dose and has been paranoid/over reactive lately)\n2. I would never ask someone to sacrifice their medication to benefit me, knowing what life with adhd feels like.\n\nI just don\031t understand how something so simple is worth ruining a long-term friendship over. Idk if I\031m looking for advice or just people to listen, but I learned my lesson on telling friends/family about my prescription, so I came to Reddit.
## 551 I want to thank everybody for letting me know how to find out about what's going on with my wife and my co-worker who I think she's cheating on me with. It helped me especially since I couldn't go to family and friends because of the possible embarrassment. And it's getting worse all the things I've been noticing. And it's definitely possible my co-worker banged my wife. \n\nTo bring people up to speed on this, my wife "Gabby" had to pick me up from work because my car needed new brakes. Waiting for me to get off work, Gabby met and became friends with a girl that work in the front office named "Breanna" and a co-worker who worked in shipping named "Darrell". When I got off the floor I had always saw them listening to rap music and talking. After being good friends with them my wife would come to my job on her off day and hang with them around their lunch.\n\nHowever a couple weeks ago, I got a call from an old co-worker that devastated me. This guy that used to work with us named "Tyrell" said Darrell might have gotten to my wife. He said he saw them talking privately and it looked like they were flirting. He said this would happen an hour before Darrell's lunch and it was very suspicious. What was worse was when he said that when he and Darrell would work overtime on Saturdays, Gabby would come to visit him.\n\nHe said at first he wasn't going to say anything, but one Saturday he saw something that made him tell me after Tyrell left. He said when he went to the shipping dock he heard spanish music playing. He said looking in he saw my wife's dancing and twerking for Darrell. He said at first they were just playing around but then then they got sexual and aggressive. He said Gabby allowed him to grab her by her neck and lift her shirt up to see her butt. \n\n He said at first they were playing around but he could tell that it was getting serious, especially how they looked at each other. At first I was making excuses for my wife asking him if he was sure it was her. He shot that down by saying he was definitely sure it was her, especially since Gabby was Cuban, had tattoos on her arms and she always wore a ponytail. Tyrell said after he saw that he left to go home. I just couldn't believe what he was telling me.\n\nNot only is it bad that my wife was twerking on Darrell, but this happened 8 or 9 months ago. So much time had passed by, and who knows what she was doing now for Darrell. I'm grateful Tyrell told me about this, but I think he might be too late telling this information. I wish he would have been a man and told me at the time, but it look like thanks to him Darrell definitely got to my wife. All because he didn't want to snitch on Darrell. \n\nWhen I got home, I asked Gabby about her friendship with Darrell. She said she talk to Darrell sometimes, but he don't really be around and she usually just talk to Breanna. I knew this was BS because sometimes I saw them myself. Thanks to Tyrell, I see how this game of hers is being played. She was using her friendship with Breanna as an excuse to really see Darrell. \n\nAfter talking to Tyrell and hearing Gabby lie about her and Darrell, I began snooping on my wife around the house. I can't get in her iphone because she has a hard passcode, and she always on it gossiping with her mom and her sister everyday. Instead I would eavesdrop on her conversations and the ones she had late at night bothered me. She would go on the back porch and talk, and I would go out our side door listen to who she was talking to. After listening I could tell she was probably talking to Darrell. \n\nI would hear her say "stop you are crazy" or "yes we she had fun" at a certain club in the suburban area of where we live. I even heard her say "she can't go over there". I'm sure "there" meant over his house but just hearing one side I couldn't be all the way sure. When she came in I asked her who she was talking to and she say her sister, Breanna or somebody else. All the giggling and whispering told me it was total BS.\n\nIt was then that I really must've been blind before Tyrell called because I saw nothing but red flags afterwards. I never see her without her phone now, she don't talk to me and says she's busy, and when I wanted to sleep with her she found it hilarious and said she didn't want to do it with our kids in the house. When I asked when has that ever stopped us Gabby would say just leave her alone and I was crazy. She said besides she wasn't in the mood. All this stuff before Tyrell called and after is not looking like my wife has been faithful. Why did I ever think all this was normal?\n\nLast Saturday I think I caused her to miss a chance to be with Darrell and she was pissed. After I got off work Gabby called me while I was driving home. She said she planned to go out again and that I had to cook for the kids. I immediately assumed she was trying to meet with Darrell and lied, saying I was going to run errands before coming home. She said she was already getting ready to leave and I said tell her sister to watch the kids already knowing she couldn't. \n\nAfter trying to guilt me into forcing her to stay home, I told Gabby I'm allowed to go out and do things too and I may not be back til later. Gabby said "Whatever" and she hung up on me. Later that night, she had an attitude with me and when I said just two words her she just blew up on me. She said I ruined her night and I said I didn't care. I told her me needing to run errands was more important than her just hanging out. \n\nGabby said I didn't say anything about running errands and I told her she didn't say anything about going out. When I asked her who she was hanging out with she said to just forget it. After getting out the shower I noticed she was outside on the porch talking on her phone. Seeing as she looked irritated I'm sure she was talking about me.\n\nHowever a couple days ago took a turn for the worst. After I got off work, that night Gabby cooked dinner. She came in the bedroom where I was looking at some new Jordans on my phone and told me dinner was ready. When I came in the dining room she was all dressed up getting ready to leave. I asked her where she was going she said she was going out with some friends and that I had to watch the kids.\n\nI asked who she was going out with and Gabby just said "her friends" again. I told her she can't just up and leave and she told me to stop trying to control her. After that she walked out the door with an attitude. I was super pissed because I knew what this was about. She was still mad about the Saturday where she couldn't see Darrell, and she was obviously sad about it since then.\n\nMy wife didn't come back til about 2:30 in the morning. That whole night I was texting her and her only reply was "please stop texting me." and I was pissed. When she finally came in I was playing our son's Playstation and when I saw her, we started arguing. I asked her why she came home so late. She just said she was hanging out with her friends and I wasn't trying to hear any of that. \n\nI told her I was supposed to be in bed and here I was up waiting for her to come back home. She said I never did complain when she got in late in the past and I said I was always with her so that BS argument don't work. She cursed me out and said I was practically trying to control her and I said that's bull. After a while, our son came out to see what all the yelling was about and asked what was wrong. After that Gabby said she wasn't arguing with me anymore and stormed into the bedroom. \n\nSeeing the video game on, my son asked can he play it and I told him just for a little while then he had to go back to sleep. After agreeing, he started playing on the game and I wanted to continue to argue with Gabby. I wasn't going to let her gaslight me about being some kind of controlling husband, she was the one coming in late. I always tried to be the calm, but my suspicions got the better of me. Coming in at 2am was disrespectful, especially after how she left.\n\nAfter our argument I went into our bedroom to continue arguing about when she left. When I walked into the bedroom I was going to argue but then I had stopped midsentence at what I saw. When I walked in the room my wife was getting undressed and it looked like she was wearing a black string as underwear. I guess my wife thought I would still be with our son because she looks surprised when I walked in. My wife just stood there as she was wearing a piece of string and I saw her for the thot she now was. \n\n After looking at me for a brief second, she shot me a look that said if you ask me we're just gonna argue. After she grabbed her pajamas off the bed, she decided to go in the bathroom to change. I couldn't believe what I just saw and I can't lie it stopped me in my tracks and I was crushed. I decided I was going be sleeping on the couch because it was going to be awkward after that. My brain couldn't function after seeing that.\n\nI never saw my wife wear a piece thongs or underwear like that. It was practically her bare bottom in a black piece of string. To be fair Gabby does have sexy underwear but it's been forever since she wore them. When we go on vacation she likes to wear sexy bikinis, but it would be for Instagram. Even with that being the case the string she was wearing was more like something on worldstar.\n\nAt this point I've seen my wife is definitely being super suspicious and secretive. When I came on here, I saw everybody say I should record her doing or saying very incriminating shit so I'm already acting on it. I ordered me a VAR device and I plan on putting it in her car. I asked a friend of mine can I use his address for the delivery and he said yes without any questions. \n\nI'll pick it up when he gets it in the mail. The last thing I need is for her to see the package and question me about what it is. I'm ready to blow this thing wide open and I don't care what it costs. Thanks to Tyrell, a lot of my suspicions are on the money. I'll try and update, but I should be able to if I stop being confrontational and act as normal as my emotions will let me be.
## 561 My roommate and I are "friends" from high school. After high school we didn't talk much, but ended up at the same college. We both needed a place to stay off-campus, so we decided to live together in an apartment.\n\nBefore we moved in, we had problems, but they were relatively minor. The first real issue was my roommate didn't bring the furniture that we agreed on prior to move-in. I bought what he didn't bring myself, with my own money. Currently, the apartment is 75/25, with most things being mine.\n\nOur initial agreement was that he would cook dinner for the both of us sometimes (3-4 times a week) & I would keep everything clean. However, things quickly turned south since he not only did not follow up his end of the agreement, only cooking 1-2 times a week, but would also almost never clean up after himself. We had a talk a few months in about it, and he insisted that I tell him whenever he makes a mess because "that's what his mother does" & he won't realize it otherwise. I tried my best to do it, but over time, he got increasingly annoyed with me for telling him to clean up after himself, so I stopped.\n\nAbout a month ago, I was fed up with his lack of initiative & overall messiness, and told him that the agreement was off, and he'd have to start doing chores. To help him, I made us a chore chart and split it 60/40, with me doing slightly more. It worked for a week, but then I noticed he'd check off things he never did. I reminded him a couple of times about chores that were supposed to be done. He was not happy, and would more often continue to avoid his chores. By no means was the apartment dirty, but it was certainly not clean.\n\nA few days ago, I noticed that he had marked down that he did a deep clean of the kitchen. This was obviously not true, and the kitchen was still dirty. A few hours later, while I was in class, I texted him, asking him to please clean the kitchen. It had not been properly cleaned in weeks at this point. He proceeded to flip on me, saying he's going through a bout of depression & I need to stop acting like his mom & have a little faith in him.\n\nWe haven't talked since then, and it doesn't look like he did any cleaning, including the kitchen deep clean from the previous week. I decided that if he can't keep my things clean, then he shouldn't be allowed to use them, so I moved almost all of my furniture, cookware, and such into my room. I also bought my own versions of the few things he did contribute to the apartment (knives, a Brita, and pots + pans). The apartment is almost empty now, and he doesn't have much.\n\nI just did this a few hours ago now, and i'm starting to feel guilty. I totally get if he's depressed and is having trouble keeping up with his responsibilities, but these problems have persisted even when he wasn't. As someone with depression as well, I really think he's using it as an excuse to not clean up after himself, and that disgusts me.\n\nHad to leave a lot out due to character limit, so please comment questions!
## 571 Sorry for the very long post. My encounter happened when I was out of town and while I was on the plane coming back home, I wanted to write down everything that happened while it was fresh in my mind. I have a history of blocking traumatic experiences out and \034forgetting\035 details so I really wrote down every little thing. Although I don\031t think I\031ll be forgetting this one anytime soon lol \n\nI stayed at the Magnolia Hotel in Downtown Dallas this past Sunday through Thursday. I visit Dallas occasionally for work and I had actually stayed at Magnolia before, about 3 years ago. Even though the hotel is old and one could say it\031s \034creepy\035 by nature (dim lighting, old decor, etc), my last stay was extremely pleasant. I just thought it was a cool historic hotel with big rooms in a great location, which is why I booked it again. This time was not the case =C\n\nI got in Sunday evening and there was a funky smell in the lobby. It was pungent kind of like those flowers that smell like vomit. I didn\031t think anything of it. It\031s in an extra touristy part of Dallas with tons of bars and could have actually been the smell of vomit who knows. \n\nThere was one man at the front desk who got me checked in quickly. I had booked a regular room and he said he was upgrading me to a suite since I was staying for 4 nights. I was excited about the upgrade, thanked him, and walked to the elevators to go to my room 2202 on the 22nd floor. \n\nThe elevators open and the first notable thing was how hot it was. Dallas is quite warm right now but the lobby was comfortable and this felt more like the heat was on. Hot stuffy air. I didn\031t think anything of it, I just thought it was weird for them to keep the heat on when it\031s been almost 90 degrees over there. \n\nThe floors are pretty big with 2 halls, 1 to the left and 1 to the right immediately after you get out of the elevator. Mine was to the left, I passed maybe 6 other rooms and got to mine. I opened the door and I don\031t know how else to describe it other than it had a really bad vibe?? It was dark and dingy and just felt BAD in there. Like from the hallway to my room felt like totally different energies. It was weird because I felt kind of scared and fearful but wasn\031t sure why, like I couldn\031t control the feeling from my mind or gut or wherever the hell fear comes from. I tried turning more lights on to make it less creepy but all the fixtures are old so even with every light on it\031s still pretty dim. I didn\031t want to overthink it, so I unpacked and went out to grab some dinner. \n\nI came back to the hotel and just went through the same motions.. noticeably bad smell in lobby, the noticeably warm 22nd floor, and the awful feeling that came over me as I walked into my room. I start getting ready for bed and that\031s when the weird shit started happening. \n\nThere\031s lots of shiny surfaces in the room, like 2 tv screens, glass table tops, and framed art. Every time I looked towards one of these objects, there would be some kind of unexplained movement in it. I wasn\031t seeing a specific image or anything it was more like a reflection/shadow walking past behind me or a weird shift in the lighting/glare. I would hold still and look behind me to try and understand what was happening but I couldn\031t make sense of it. \n\nThe room was a suite so it was pretty big. It was laid out long with a small kitchenette when you enter, dining/tv area, bedroom and bathroom. There were 3 or 4 times where I\031d be in one area and see something walk by in the room next to me out of the corner of my eye. It was one of the most unsettling feelings I\031ve ever had but I just kept thinking I had to be imagining things. \n\nI\031m about to go to bed and I hear a loud noise come from the closet, it was like the sound made when you open a shower curtain really fast where the metal hooks roll against the metal rod. I open the closet and the 5 pieces of clothing I had on hangers are swaying slightly back and forth. I think I\031m going fucking crazy at this point. \n\nI try to sleep, it\031s obviously very hard after all that but I really try, convincing myself that I need to get sleep so I stop imagining things. At around 1:30 am my body gets so so hot. I\031m confused because my room doesn\031t feel hot and my bed still feels comfortable but my body is very warm. I fall asleep for about 30 minutes and I wake up really startled. I didn\031t hear or see anything but it was that feeling you get when someone shakes you when you\031re sleeping and you wake up abruptly and confused. Then a few seconds later I feel a tug at the end of my bed towards my feet like someone is pulling lightly on my sheets. I scream and get up to turn the lights on. I\031m just super scared at this point looking all around the room trying to find idk something? I consider calling the front desk but for some reason do not, I just leave the lights on and look at my phone for a while and get a really awful nights sleep. I\031d say I slept for about 2 hours on and off. \n\nI wake up tired but feeling alright all things considered. I set the thermostat to 60 and I go to work and go about my day fine not really even stopping to think about what happened. That night I went to dinner with some coworkers and they ask me how my hotel is. For whatever reason I don\031t want to tell them what happened. I had this feeling come over me like I wasn\031t supposed to talk about what happened, at least not at that time. \n\nI go back to my room that night and within the first few seconds I\031m in there, a shadow walks by again but this time it\031s inches next to me to my left. I am freaked the fuck out!!! And it looked like a tall man. I didn\031t see a face or person it was more like an opaque shadow. But I could tell it was a man the same way you can be walking down the street and tell a man, woman or child was next to you without looking at them. I run towards the door but stay in the room. I call my boyfriend and tell him what I saw and he said I had to be imagining things but if I was really worried to call the front desk and ask someone to check my room. And hang up and pull up the number to the concierge but can\031t bring myself to call it. I had a feeling again come over me telling me not to talk about what was going on and that I should stay. \n\nThese events ended up happening every single night. It was almost like I was living with a roommate. There was constant movement, \034someone\035 would walk past me in an adjacent door frame throughout the entire stay. The reflective surfaces would show unexplained activity in them. My body would get boiling hot at around 130am and I\031d wake up confused followed by a tug at my feet. I kind of got used to it. Don\031t get me wrong I was absolutely terrified the entire time but I had this feeling like I have to keep quiet and get through it. The last 2 nights also felt a bit different, I was still scared because of all this wild shit happening but I didn\031t feel like I was in any danger. I was scrolling through my texts and on the last night I had texted my bf \034I\031m so tired of these shadows watching me it\031s getting old\035 really casually while I was half asleep. \n\nI was so excited to check out this morning. I packed up now avoiding all reflective surfaces and went downstairs. I grabbed a coffee and had to pee before I left but obviously did not want to go back to the room so I went to the bathroom in the business center. I go to wash my hands and 2 sinks over the automatic soap dispenses 1 pump and the water runs for about 30 seconds as recommended by the CDC >r\n\nAs I was leaving I go linger the front desk for a while considering telling them what happened. I wait for other guests to clear and go up to the one young girl working there. I ask her if anyone ever reported paranormal or unexplained things happening at the hotel. She said no but that she was new and not sure. Then she asked me what room I was in and she said \034oh that\031s weird they told me to never put people in that hall\035. Then she asked me who checked me in and when I told her she said she didn\031t know anyone that fits the description =\002. Again, she said she didn\031t work there very long and I felt delirious at this point. I was waiting for people to pop out like I was on some kind of prank tv show or something. \n\nOnce I checked out I felt more comfortable talking about it. I didn\031t get into details but I did tell some coworkers that my hotel was haunted and immediately they were like \034was it the Adolphus???\035 which is supposedly very haunted, with a history of murders and freaky shit, and it\031s next door to Magnolia. Apparently Dallas is very haunted which is news to me but probably not to many of you reading this. \n\nSo that\031s my story. Like I said the hotel is old and creepy but I\031m positive that something paranormal was with me there. I\031ve never been into this stuff but I\031m the type to be open to the idea of many things and I just can\031t believe it happened to me. \n\nIf anyone has any similar stories about this particular hotel I would love to hear. I was only able to find one similar account online but the google search is overrun with articles from a different Magnolia Hotel in Sequin.
## 581 Under these sun and sky I greet you warmly! Aigym Hlervu here. It took me a year of cerebrating (not without the help of the Pie Effect), but finally the universe has sent me a thought I'd like to share with you here. Fargrave, the Bearers of Fargrave and it's origins. Since the beginning the community has been thinking on this riddle, but after the developers said that the location was completely new, we all calmed down having stopped the research, but mine has never stopped. I checked the depths of Internet and found no theories on this topic anywhere - surprisingly, nobody has ever published almost anything on the origins of the Celestial Palanquin. If you find such posts or threads, please share them in your commentaries below, because here we shall together discuss not just my theory, but possibilities within the topic in general. As I did it with my previous theories on Magnus, the Serpent and the Sun, the true nature of the Daedra and several other, I'll make the publication of this theory here on r/teslore and will start with the conclusion in order to make it easier for you to follow my thought. Then I'll go to the grounds and will talk of it in details. While reading, please, keep in mind, that the topic discussed here is a *possibility* based on the assumption that the sources in the lore I use are true or basically true, but not a total lie of an unreliable narrator. This post is huge on details and quotes, so it might take an additional post of mine below there. So, here are the results of research, have a good read.\n\n**CONCLUSION**. The city of Fargrave's original name was *Ha-Note*. The city was founded by means of unification of many settlements, villages, and soon became a large melting pot of numerous cultures. It's accurate *initial* location was.. Lyg. The city absorbed more than thirty other settlements known to exist in the middle world of Lyg, but the larger it became, the more territory it took, "moving sideways". Yes, the city was founded in the previous kalpa. Overpopulation by numerous cultures and further advance into Lyg made the city "homesick" that began to bring "madness" to it. And this was the time the Bearers of Fargrave appeared. They have never built any cities of their own, so they grabbed the city in their hands and decided to built a Tower in it - the Tower of Hope for freedom. They seemingly used the help of the Magna Ge and the creation got the name of Mehrunes Dagon. We know that Lyg was ruled by the Dreugh and their then king Molag Bal, that there were constant wars between different Dreugh parties, so finally Dagon was somehow imprisoned and tortured. The kalpa ended when the wife of Molag Bal (Vivec :)) freed Dagon and used it power to destroy everything. The Bearers (check the pictures to this post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/elderscrollsonline/comments/twegck/the_origins_of_fargrave_and_its_bearers_revealed/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)), were the race of gargantuan ancestors of modern Dreugh of previous kalpa living in Lyg relative to the species of Molag Bal and seemingly the four of the twelve Dreugh Kings. So, the Bearers fell, the city was burnt down along with the other settlements of the Adjacent place, Lyg. The kalpa ended and a new one began where Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon became the Daedra Princes and rulers of their respective planes of Oblivion. Ha-Note long remained a deserted city located in the Adjecent place - in the middle of the worlds, in Lyg. An Adjacent Place, the crossroads between realms of Oblivion, Mundus and possibly Aetherius where it **remains up to these days** - something I could understand while gazing at the sky of Fargrave that totally lacks the sun, the stars, day and night cycle, but has 8 planets floating at the same position on the horizon with one of those planets hanging right above our heads there. Slowly the city became inhabited once again by mortals and the free Daedra from all over Aurbis who could only know a distant echo of the previous kalpa knowing almost nothing about their city and it's Bearers, but the spirit of freedom, the status of a melting pot at the aurbic crossroads stays still with it.\n\n**GROUNDS**\n\n\n1. Sources: The The Thirty-Six Lessons of Vivec - [Sermon Twelve](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_12); [Sermon Twenty-Six](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_26), [Sermon Twenty-Seven](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_27), [Sermon Thirty](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_30); [Exegesis of Merid-Nunda](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Exegesis_of_Merid-Nunda) by Phrastus of Elinhir; [The Adversarial Spirits](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:The_Adversarial_Spirits) by Amun-dro (this priest's texts are one of my favourite since he seemingly never lies and his books reconcile very well with so many other on various topics); [Commentaries on the Mysterium Xarxes Book Four](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Mythic_Dawn_Commentaries_4) by Mankar Camoran; [The Bearers of Fargrave](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:The_Bearers_of_Fargrave) by Orette Arbogasque; [Pocket Guide to the Empire, Second Edition](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/General:Pocket_Guide_to_the_Empire,_Second_Edition); [Michael Kirkbride AMA](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/General:Michael_Kirkbride_AMA) by u/MKirkbride (the part describing the location of Lyg as an Adjacent place); my own observations conducted in Fargrave out of bounds areas with a thorough research of the skeleton details of the [Bearers of Fargrave](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Bearers_of_Fargrave), the appearance of [Molag Bal](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Molag_Bal), the [Dreugh](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Dreugh) and especially the forms of their skulls and faces including the one of the [Ruddy Broodmother](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Ruddy_Broodmother). UESP does not have the photos of the details of the Bearers' remains, so I'll make a publication of those snapshots elsewhere and will edit this post to make a proper link to it [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/elderscrollsonline/comments/twegck/the_origins_of_fargrave_and_its_bearers_revealed/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).\n\n2. On the Bearers. If you look at their skulls and skeleton details you'll certainly notice that they are greatly alike with the ones of Molag Bal, the Ruddy Broodmother and the Dreugh in general. Yes, the Dreugh changed, but Bal also has only two arms today instead of the six mentioned by Vivec. The change of kalpa changed everything. Don't be surprised by the size of the Bearers - they are just the size of Molag Bal's basic gargantuan form we meet in Coldharbour in 2E 582 before using the Amulet of Kings on him. They all were contemporaries, so gigantic form should be of no surprise here. The Bearers are the Dreugh and the very Grabbers mentioned by Vivec in his Sermons (in order to bear something one should first take it, grab it). Here are some quotes from the Sermons I linked above with some of my commentaries:\n\n3. "**Grabbers from the Adjacent Place came into the world sideways**, the slave talking having disrupted the normal non-cardinal points" - *as MK said it, Lyg is one of the Adjacent Places. So, the Grabbers were native to Lyg. But what's also crucial here is the "world sideways" those Grabbers came into - this place is literally Ha-Note, Fargrave. We'll get to it in further quotes*.\n\n4. "**The Adjacent Place, where the Grabbers live**, is the illusion of the vocal or the **middle realms of thought**, by which I mean the constructed" - *once again, the Grabbers live in Lyg. But here we also find it out the Lyg is located somewhere in middle of some realms. Just like the Fargrave of the Second Era*.\n\n5. "Then Vivec left the mystics of the Number Room and went back to the space that was not a space. From the Provisional House **he looked into the middle world to find the sixth monster, called City-Face**. He was vexed when **he could not find it**.. .. Here is how City-Face hid from his mother-father: **it had been born named as Ha-Note**, a bare urge of power, an esoteric wind nerve tuned to the frequency of huddled masses. It found root in villages and multiplied, finding in the minds of the settled a veiled astrology, the star charts of culture, and this resonance made its head swim. **Ha-Note moved sideways into the Adjacent Place, growing and unbeknownst**. Above the vocal, **it trembled with new emotions, immortal ones**, absorbing more than the thirty known to exist in the middle world. When Ha-Note became gravely homesick, **the Grabbers took it. A Grabber said, 'New emotions to the lonely occur only of madness. This thing is gone. It is ours now.' Grabbers had never made a city of their own, and their glimpse of Vivec's, which shone with holiness through all the spheres, had taken their attention**. 'Under this reason did the issue of Vehk slide into our realm, drawn by our coveting, hidden in loss. **We shall build our tower-hope upon its face**.' Now many years had passed in Resdaynia, and the high priests of **the Dwemer were building something alike as Vivec and alike as the new Ha-Note of the Grabbers**. The Hortator was engaged with an army of theirs that had become too brave, talking foolish words, and Nerevar helped destroy them with the help of the **orphan legion of Ayem**. When he went to give trophy to Vivec, **he saw his lord under attack by the City-Face**. The monster was saying this: 'Here we are to replace your city, Vehk and Vehk. We are from the place of the more-than-known emotions, and our citizenry has died from it. Two things we came for, but can stay for only one. Either we ask you to correct our error of culture, or merely take yours by dint of force. The second is easiest, we think.' Vivec sighed. 'You would replace my direction,' he said. 'I weary of this, though I wanted to kill you an age before. Resdaynia is fallen ill, and I have no time for one more imaginary analogy of an unknown incident. Here, take this.' At which he touched **the tower-hope** of the City-Face and **corrected the error of the Grabbers**. 'And this.' At which he stabbed the heart of the City-Face with the Ethos Knife, which is to say RKHT AI AE ALTADOON AI, the short blade of proper commerce." - *this is Vivec's account on the events happened in Lyg. It fully reconciles with the ones we'll go to further. The interesting things here are that Vivec says that the Dwemer were creating Numidium just like the Grabbers and the Camoran's Magna Ge created their own Tower of Hope in the bowls of Lyg, i.e. in City-Face, Ha-Note, Fargrave (three names of the same city) - a walking tower of destruction called Mehrunes Dagon. And that part on the "orphan legion of Ayem" - not Ayem's ones, of course, but according to Phrastus, "This appears to identify the "Daedric Prince" Meridia with the so-called Star-Orphans, those Anuic ur-entities that separated from Magnus when that Divine withdrew from the creation of the Aurbis", i.e. as he states it, the Magna Ge. So, it's the matter of speculation who constructed the Tower - the Grabbers or the Magna Ge. I prefer to think it were the Magna Ge since the Grabbers were not builders, as mentioned by Vivec himself in the other line of his Sermons*. \n\n6. "Dagon. The Demon Cat. Also called Merrunz. Born of Fadomai's Second Litter, **he quickly turned destructive and wild**. Ahnurr exiled him, but he chose to explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths. There **he fell to the demon Molagh, who tortured him until the creation of the World**. During the chaos, it is written that **the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz** and used his destructive nature as a weapon against the Lattice. **Merrunz reveled in this and became a kinslayer**, and was henceforth the demon we call Dagon. You will face him on the Path. **Molagh. One of the twelve Demon Kings. Elder Spirit of Domination and Supreme Law**. This demon was the first to assault the Lattice with intent, alongside Dagon and Merid-Nunda. Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the Lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows. He will test you, and you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - *Amun-dro's account on the same events in Lyg. Dagon was held chained for some time, but then Molagh's wife freed him and the destruction of the world began ending with the creation of a new world. Who was that "Molagh's wife"? Who else if not Vivec ;)?* - [Sermon Twelve](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_12): "'I would prefer,' he said, 'some kind of ceremony if we are to be married.' .. 'We must love each other briefly,' Vivec said, 'if at all. I am needed to counsel the Hortator in more important matters because the Dwemeri high priests stir up trouble. You may have my head for an hour.' Molag Bal rose up and extended **six arms** to show his worth. They were decorated in runes of seduction and its reverse. They were decorated in the annotated calendars of longer worlds. When he spoke, mating monsters fell out. .. Vivec had what he needed from the Daedroth and so married him that day. In the hour that Bal had his head, the King of Rape asked for proof of love". - *by the way, check the number of "arms" in total the Dreugh have today.* \n\n7. "I give my soul to **the Magna Ge, sayeth the joyous in Paradise, for they created Mehrunes the Razor in secret, in the very bowels of Lyg**, the domain of the Upstart who vanishes. Though they came from diverse waters, each Get shared sole purpose: to artifice a prince of good, spinning his likeness in random swath, **and imbuing him with Oblivion's most precious and scarce asset: hope**. .. **For as Mehrunes threw down Lyg and cracked his face, declaring each of the nineteen and nine and nine oceans Free**, so shall he crack the serpent crown of the Cyrodiils and make federation! .. All will change in these days **as it was changed in those, for with by the magic word Nu-Mantia a great rebellion rose up and pulled down the towers of CHIM-EL GHARJYG, and the templars of the Upstart were slaughtered, and blood fell like dew from the upper wards down to the lowest pits, where the slaves with maniacal faces took chains and teeth to their jailers and all hope was brush-fire**. Your Dawn listens, my Lord! Let all the Aurbis know itself to be Free! Mehrunes is come! There is no dominion save free will! Suns were riven as your **red legions moved from Lyg to the hinterlands of chill, a legion for each Get, and Kuri was thrown down and Djaf was thrown down and Horma-Gile was crushed with coldsalt and forevermore called Hor and so shall it be again under the time of Gates. Under the mires, Malbioge was thrown down, that old City of Chains, slaked in newbone-warmth and set Free. Galg and Mor-Galg were thrown down together in a single night of day and shall it be again under the time of Gates**." - *Mankar Camoran's account on the same events. This is how the revolt and the apocalypse of the previous kalpa began*.\n\n8. According to [Orette Arbogasque](https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:The_Bearers_of_Fargrave), there are three in-lore theories common to the citizens of Fargrave on who the Bearers are. One theory says that Fargrave was once the domain of four rival Daedric Princes that competed for complete sovereignty of the realm. Constantly locked in battle, they eventually destroyed each other simultaneously and their bodies collapsed and eventually decomposed, leaving behind the four giant skeletons we see today. The other states that Fargrave was once a necropolis of sorts for a race of gargantuans that were neither Daedra, Aedra, or mortal. Finally, the third one is that before Fargrave settled into this exact location in Oblivion (whatever that actually means), it was carried from place to place by the four Bearers. That's where the name "the Celestial Palanquin" derives from. That once in ages' past, these great colossi hefted the city onto their shoulders like the porters of some passenger conveyance and moved it from one location to another. As you see it now, **all three in-lore theories are correct simultaneously**! The Bearers were the race of gargantuan ancestors of modern Dreugh of previous kalpa living in Lyg relative to the species of Molag Bal, i.e. neither Daedra, Aedra, nor mortals - the ones of their species who survived **became** Molag Bal the Daedra and the modern Dreugh, but only **after** the world of this kalpa was created. And they did carry that city in their hands until Dagon was released and destroyed everything including the Bearers and leaving their corpses scattered all over the Adjacent Place we see today in Oblivion. Just like the denizen of Lyg Molag Bal relocated there too along with his realm he established or took there. But it's a completely other story.
## 591 Sorry for the long post. I just feel so detached right now. \n\nMy (25F) fiancé Asher (29M) and I have been together for a little less than 7 years, and we got engaged about six months ago. We\031ve been together for my entire adult life, and while he\031s not perfect, he has always loved me and treated me not just with respect, but with reverence, like he worships me. People have commented on our relationship and said that it\031s so obvious how much he loves me. I\031ve never doubted Asher\031s devotion. When our relationship was rocky pre-engagement (I was having mental health issues that spilled into our relationship), he\031s the one who brought me to therapy for two years and pulled us back together even though I was an absolute nightmare. We\031ve been together through grief and loss, graduations, etc., and he has always had my back, even when I myself have felt hopeless. He\031s the best cheerleader I could ever imagine. \n\nYesterday (Thursday), I got a message from a woman \034J\035 who claimed she met Asher on Tinder and went out with him four times over the last two weeks before realizing he\031s not single. When I first saw the message, I almost ignored it \024 that\031s how certain I was that this was impossible, since Asher is not the type of guy whom I\031d ever expect to cheat. He\031s been cheated on himself (not by me!!), and he views sex as even more sacred than I do. He\031s told me many times that he\031s so thrilled that we have only ever had sex with each other (although he did once lie to me about a specific sex act, saying that he\031s only ever done it with me, but I found out years later that he\031d done it with one other woman\024 he claimed he thought I knew, but I figured it was in the past and that he\031s mine now), and he has never made me think that he\031d ever look at another woman. He doesn\031t even have many female friends, because he said he wanted to be respectful to me (even though I\031ve told him thousands of times that I trust him and that I don\031t care about the gender of his friends). \n\nJ\031s messages included texts from a contact saved under a nickname Asher used as a small child. She claimed he told her that he was looking for casual sex and she showed me memes that he sent her, romantic text messages (including one with an unusual typo that Asher\031s phone sometimes makes), and a picture of them sitting together and sharing a dessert at the restaurant, which she said was taken by a waiter. She also sent me a voicemail that Asher left her on Monday saying that he\031d deleted the app (didn\031t specify what app, but it was probably Tinder). I later called J on the phone, and she said they didn\031t have any sexual contact whatsoever, but that she did go on four dates with Asher and felt that I needed to know. \n\nAfter I saw the messages, I called Asher to ask him straight-up if he was dating other women \024 again, I couldn\031t fathom that it was true, so it didn\031t occur to me to keep my cards in reserve, so to speak. Asher seemed flabbergasted and denied it, but I was shaken and told him he needed to come over and let me look at his phone (we\031ve always known each other\031s passwords, so I never had reason before to snoop). He came over immediately and gave me his phone. I found no records of any messages or calls between Asher and J\031s number (he could\031ve deleted those easily though), but the dozens of memes that I saw in J\031s photos matched Asher\031s camera roll. When I asked Asher to explain the photo with the woman, he said that J was the wife of a prospective client. Asher said the husband took the picture and that he was annoyed at the guy, since the husband was supposed to be there for dinner but only showed up at the very end of the meeting for dessert. He said he thought it was weird that they asked for a picture with him at a business meeting. He couldn\031t explain the voicemail, and he admitted that the evidence looked absolutely terrible. \n\nThere are a few things that are confusing: weeks ago, before I heard from J, Asher told me that he would be meeting a couple who seemed like they wanted to be his clients. He had told me in advance about the two meetings and mentioned that he was frustrated the first time when the husband didn\031t show up until dessert, since he felt uncomfortable sitting with another woman because he only ever wanted to go out with me. I thought nothing of it and told him not to worry, that I trusted him, and that I was proud of him for working so hard. He also told me again on Monday night when the husband didn\031t show up to the lunch meeting, and he said that he was frustrated because it looked like the clients weren\031t interested after all. But despite admitting to two of the meetings, he flat-out denied J\031s claims that they\031d met two additional times. \n\nMy family looked at everything J sent me, since I just couldn\031t believe it, and they didn\031t understand either. My father said that before yesterday, he\031d have bet every penny in his bank account that of all people, Asher would be the last man he knows who would do this. My parents sat with me and Asher while he tried to rationalize all the different pieces of the puzzle. We were all essentially begging him for another possible explanation. Asher told us that the date of the picture (I think it was last Thursday), the husband was the one who took the picture of him and J, not the waiter like J claimed. He said he couldn\031t remember everything that happened, that he was devoted to me and my family, that he\031d never be unfaithful to me and that he was horrified by but understand of the suspicion. We were all in disbelief \024 again, none of us ever thought Asher was capable of this, so my family kept asking him to dispute any of the individual pieces of evidence, even going as far as to suggest that J\031s messages might be part of a scam. Asher claimed that he\031d only communicated with J in person and that both meetings were arranged via texts with her husband. He claimed that he didn\031t send J memes, but he might\031ve sent them to her husband. He said that the photo of them having dessert was taken by J\031s husband, who joined them at the end of the first meeting. He claimed that even before he met me, he\031d never even used Tinder, and he showed us \034proof\035 that he\031d never downloaded the app (the app store didn\031t say \034reinstall,\035 only \034install\035). He insisted that the use of his childhood nickname could be a fluke, or that maybe he\031d mentioned it in passing. He said that the huge dessert was ordered by J to share with her husband and that he\031d ordered a small ice cream for himself. \n\nWe all listened to Asher\031s excuses \024 again, this was so unexpected that even though the evidence was right in front of us, it was unbelievable. My dad sent the voicemail to a tech-savvy friend of his, who analyzed it and said that it didn\031t appear to have been tampered with. We all looked into J\031s credibility (there were some inconsistencies there, but nothing unexplainable). And this morning, on a long shot, my father spent four hours driving to the restaurant to beg them to show him the security tape, which would hopefully show that J\031s husband did in fact take the picture of Asher and J. \n\nThe video showed Asher and J entering the restaurant together. It showed a waiter stop to take a photo of them and their dessert, and Asher was shown eating the dessert even though he said he\031d gotten his own. It showed that there was no husband who showed up at the end of the meeting. And it showed Asher and J leaving together. \n\nI still can\031t make sense of this, since it\031s so out of character. Asher is still insisting that J wasn\031t a date, that they met through work and not Tinder, and that he\031d forgotten that he canceled his ice cream order and shared the dessert that J ordered. He said he lied about J\031s (nonexistent) husband because he felt nervous after being cornered by my family, but he\031s certain that he\031d never do this to me, and that he loathes cheaters and always has. He sobbed and repeated the sweet things he\031s always told me daily: that I\031m the only person he\031s ever loved, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, that he\031s more than happy with our sex life, and that he has only ever wanted me to be happy. And maybe I\031m an idiot, but I do believe that he loves me. I begged him to confess so we could work through this, but he said \034I can\031t confess to something I know I didn\031t do.\035 I told him that I still want a future with him, but that I believe that he\031s lying about the \034business meetings.\035 \n\nI still can\031t understand how this is real and I don\031t fully believe that this happened. Part of me still believes that this all really was a misunderstanding, since the man I know just isn\031t like this. I put all my faith into Asher, and I can\031t envision life without him. He\031s my best friend, and I\031ve never shared such intimacy (physical nor emotional) with anyone else. I still see him as the kind and loving and dedicated person I\031ve known for years. I can\031t even begin to express how lonely I feel, and I shared that thought with him \024 that it\031s so isolating to have my main confidante be the person who makes me need one. He said he feels the same way, and that he can\031t believe this is happening to us. \n\nFor now, I\031ve decided to proceed with the relationship. I\031ve told Asher that I know that he cheated, but since it can\031t actually be proven, I\031ll continue giving him the benefit of the doubt and wishing I\031d never seen this. I told him that sometimes people make mistakes (his reply was \034cheating isn\031t a mistake and I didn\031t cheat\035), and that given our history, I want to rebuild our relationship. I asked him if he wants an open relationship; he said absolutely not. He said that after all of this, he\031d tell me if he\031d cheated, but he didn\031t, and he hopes one day I\031ll believe him. We agreed to postpone wedding planning for at least a few weeks and try to heal. \n\nI am not yet ready to let go of the years of companionship we\031ve shared. I keep thinking that I wish J had never let me know what happened (but I also appreciate her gesture of sisterhood and truly hope that life is only kind to her in the future), since I was blissfully ignorant to the situation. I wish I could make Asher confess, because his denial is confusing the hell out of me. I wish I had another source of the feelings I get when I cuddle with Asher, because I\031ve never felt safer than when he hugs me. I wish I could pretend this never happened, or that he\031d tell me why I\031m not enough, or that I was pretty/thin/smart/socially savvy/good enough to know how to find love like this without starting again from scratch. I wish I had a better understanding of reality in general, since I\031m confused and overwhelmed in most situations because I\031m not neurotypical and Asher was the one certainty in my life before this happened. Most of all, I wish I could go back and ignore J\031s message request, or that Asher hadn\031t done this to begin with. \n\nTLDR: Fiancé told me in advance about \034business meetings,\035 but the woman he met with reached out to tell me they were actually dates. My family found photographic evidence of his dishonesty, but fiancé still won\031t admit that the meetings were dates. I can\031t come to terms with any of this and don\031t know how to move forward.
## 601 I\n\nJust got\n\nA pARTNERRRR\n\nREEE\n\nTheir so cute\n\nGenderfluid, funny, gets flustered by simply me calling them cutie, and keyboard smashes whenever their feeling really flustered.\n\nThey like alot of stuff i do, and does really well in something we both do (draw)\n\nI call them my rosefriend, since theyr genderfuid and they love it\n\n\nCall me mine cuz i call them mine\n\n\nI texted them tonight and i worked up to confess and after they got over the initial shock, they said yES\n\nAAAAAAAAA\n\nTheres alot of stuff i havent mentioned, but i love them in so many different ways i cant put it in words\n\n\nAnd overall\n\n\nJust the best thing ever rn ^^\n\n\nLets gOOOOOOO
## 611 I started my onlyfans thinking I wouldn\031t have much success because I made one last year but never promoted or put much time into it and got nothing out of it. This isn\031t my main page btw=\f\n\nThe first day I made only ($5)picked a pic , created my bio, promoted a little bit, and made content. Made 18 fans in one day still remember how many fans I got on my first day lol.\n\nDay 2 I knew I had to do better with marketing. I downloaded canvas and made a price list for all of the services I offer & the cost pinned that to my onlyfans . I then changed my bio on Reddit & made a \034get to know me+ onlyfans \034 post on Reddit and pinned that . So basically you tell them basic facts about yourself like age, height, favorite color, college major etc and then post questions regarding your onlyfans like why they should subscribe, the content u do , services offered your kinks etc , your limits . I started promoting on a few subreddits back to back posting pics of my tits and ass only (i don\031t post my pussy on Reddit to promote ) I got even more subscribers and got my first 2 custom orders and someone tipped me big $$>p. \n\nI then made a welcome message and learned people will tip more if you make one of those. On the bad part more time wasters so I made a rule that everyone gets 1-3 messages max from me before they tip and no message at all if they sext me . If they say \034you\031re so hot \034 but haven\031t tipped I just say \034thank u>p\035 and move on no sexting. I then Made a telegram with a Google voice number so I can chat on there with fans or for custom pics . Made more content \n\nDay 3- I woke up to purchased content from my Ppv posts I set for ($3) and someone tipped me . someone asked for customs he tipped me $40 and purchased content and then would continue to tip throughout messaging me he\031s a favorite of mine . I promoted everywhere and yes even where I don\031t qualify if i wasn\031t black (I am) and it said black girls only I would still post there if we were close in skin tone >p If it says big areolas even though their small I\031m still posting their because a lot of times people don\031t even notice what sub the post is in if it pops up in there feed . Now if it said \034big tits, small tits or innie or outtie) I wouldn\031t post in those if I don\031t qualify lol. \n\nDay 4. Yesterday morning woke up to several purchased content and tips I wrote better and interesting captions on Reddit and earned my first 100 subscribers I told them thank you on my page and put out more content last night . My favorite tipped me again randomly and then after I came home from dinner I was promoting but the night was slow people wasn\031t subscribing even though I had lots of likes on my posts . Someone purchased all of my ppv content last night and bought/ tipped $70 for the the whole list of custom videos/pics . He then tipped me for being pretty again and were texting right now and he tips me $5 every message because I had turned off free chats because of the time wasters. I\031m excited to move forward in this journey. =)\n\nToday I woke up to tips and messages from my faves lol
## 621 I (18F) have a sister who let's call Abigail (30F) she has Two wonderful boys Sammy (6M) and Jayden (3M) anyway so Abigail loves to do this thing were if she wants to do something either when I'm at her place crashing for a bit she'll pick up 5 other toddlers and then once she gets to her place she'll get them all ready put on a movie, place food down, ipads and toys near the kids so they can play and then she ditches the kids with me and I'll take care of them while she's smoking bongs in there with her boyfriend and if any of the kids want her to do something she has the biggest melt down even when it's just her own kids, or if she needs to do something and her boyfriends at work she'll text me and be like "heey girly can you look after the kids I need to do something" and if I go no she'll leave them at my door and dash forcing me to look after them.\n\nNow before you all asked "why can't she ask your mum?" Well they're not on speaking terms at the moment so I take them so shit like that doesn't happen and she comes over and to help watch them. At the moment I have leg issues so I'm not really the best to take care of kids yet my sister will make me look after them so when they're at my place I just help Jayden try to talk (he has difficulty so I'm trying to help him)\n\nOne night I was studying and I had my phone on silent so I could focus after half hour of studying a loud banging sound comes from my door "SIS! OPEN UP I GOTTA GO!" Me being absolutely confused as all hell I grab my walking cane get up and head to the door I opened it and saw my sister with her two little boys I then asked "what do you want I specifically told you I won't be free tonight I'm studying for a test it's huge and will be my decision on if I fail this course" My sister chuckled "don't worry you'll ace it, or if you don't bribe the teacher anyway I need you to look after the kids I'm going to a huge party tonight" I stared at her in shock, she looked at me confused and said "what I'm not a bad mum I just wanna have hella fun and get wild!" I get angered and yelled "No you're not a bad mum you're a shit one, I take care of these two so often that I'm more of a mother than you'll ever be and they're not even mine, HELL I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF JAYDEN CALLED ME MUM INSTEAD OF YOU!" Abigail looked shocked and angered "whatever bitch where leaving" she said as she pulled the kids back to the car once everyone was in they speeded off.\n\nThe next day after my text I checked my phone and I got a call from my dads side of the Family calling me an asshole, I don't know the stress of being a mother.
## 631 What would you do in this situation?\nAdvice needed.\n\nHi, back with a new relationship and a whole new set of problems.\n\nLong story short, I dont know if my (28M) Boyfriend and I see eye to eye anymore. He knows I\031ve been cheated on in the past and my ex overstepped boundaries and lied to me.\n\nA little backstory before I explain my strikes. I (26F) am dating my (28M) boyfriend, we met 6-7 months ago and have been together exclusively for roughly 5 months. I am about to graduate with my second degree, I have a full time job lined up, currently working half the week and finishing up my last semester the other half of the week. I have just purchased a new car (on my own) and i\031m doing fairly well for myself (This information will be sort of relevant later on). My boyfriend only graduated from highschool and claimed post seconday was never for him, but he assured me he was finding alernative ways to pursue his passions, while working part time. He does not have his full license, nor does he have a car and lives at home with his mom, surely he can be smart enough with his money, right? I should also mention, he is not actively looking for a full time job and slacks off on using his time properly to pursue the things he claimed to be pursuing. Pick one or the other.\n\nHe works 3-4 days a week but will sometimes call in and cancel because he\031s not feeling well, due to saying up late the night prior or just deciding to not sleep at all. I dont like that he cancels his shifts when he already barely works but talks about not having money. He creates content online and makes money through crypto, although it is not steady nor is it reliable. The profits have yet to be livable. \n\nWe go on dates and I drive us there, I bring us home, he does pay though. It would be nice if he was actively saving for a car, even a cheap one, just feels liike an essential at the age we\031re at. There was one time where I mentioned that I really wanted this bracelet and he told me he was gonna get it for me, there was something in the mens section that matched/complimented, he brought up that it would be cute if we were matching but somehow ended up suggesting that i should get it for him as a gift while he would get me the bracelet. \n\nHe is always complaining about a stomach ache, headache, feeling sick or being tired. I understand that people feel ill but its gotten to the point where it is so often that he just seems weak and it slightly turns me off.\n\nI don\031t know just some things that bothered me I guess.\n\nRed Flag 1:\n\nWhen we first started dating, I made it clear that I refuse to date him if his social media consisted of local girls that he had an romatic connection with, liking or attraction to. He cleared that out, with ease, but the number was drastic enough to make my stomach turn. 100+ for reference. He also creates content so he has a large following on yt, tiktok and instagram. I don\031t know if this is important or not. I do as well but moreso on twitch. \n\nLet me clarify, I didn\031t choose who or how many females he got rid of. That was entirely his doing, I just asked that he respected me by not maintaining contact with them. And this is how many he chose to unfollow. \n\nRed Flag 2:\n\nWhen I went to check his following, yes I decided to hurt my own feelings, I saw that he was still following girls that he would previously comment =\r or d\017 or a comment under their post. He stopped liking recent pictures but would like all of their selfies or scandalous pictures in the past. I confronted him and he claimed they were just old friends or nice girls. He agreed to unfollow them (some of them werent even following him back!?) but before unfollowing he put up a fuss. That left me with an ick.\n\nRed Flag 3:\n\nOk ok ok, this is where the fun starts. I saw her instagram profile on his following and i had a funny feeling in my gut before I found any of this out, also didnt know it was the same girl until i put the pieces together today. That\031s when it hit me that this girl on ig is the same girl that came into his live chat. details below.\n\nI was recently moderating his live chat (I am a designated moderator, he chose me to do this and I agreed) and I saw this girl pop in being extra friendly to him. I can see all of the messages she\031s ever sent on his chat. She came in and then asked him to see her and hang out soon, he agreed without hesitation, THEN he brought me up on stream, mentioning that he has a girlfriend. She immediately said that she was excited to meet the missus and cant wait to tell me all about him. \n\nI went back and checked the messages she\031s sent in the past and she has said things along the line of:\n\n\034We should have mixed babies\035 \034if we\031re both single at 30, we should get married\035 \n\034ok bye, love you\035 \034when you gonna come see me\035 \034lets hang out soon!!!!\035 and other cutesy shit like that.\n\nI confronted him about her, just curious to know who she was and if he was still in close contact with her. He is. She mentioned in the live chat to snap her and text her. So i know they\031re still talking. But here\031s the fun part.\n\nWhen he replied to me, he told me that shes his \034longest\035 female friend who keeps him sane when it comes to relationships/breakups. He goes to her for advice and shes technically a \034best friend\035 and they see each other as family, like brother and sister& \034she loves me and I love her\035 yuck, i almost threw up.\n\nI proceeded to question this logically and my brain started breaking it all down.\n\nIf she\031s your bestfriend, as close as family, why have i NEVER heard of her? not once, this was the first time i was hearing her name. \nWhy does he need to go to another female about our relationship?\nWhy have a girlfriend if there\031s another girl already keeping you sane?\nWhy have I heard of every other girl from the start, but im only learning about this one now?\n\nThen i learned that she was the girl i had found preiously, who left me with a funny feeling in my gut when I saw her social accounts. This didn\031t help that. It felt realy weird learning about such a close and sister like bestfriend that he \034loves\035, 5 months into the relationship. I have never heard, seen or read her name anywhere before.\n\nAlso what kind of sister like girl bestfriend talks about having babies and getting married? \n\nI have guy friends, close ones, hes met them all and spent time talking to them alone without my presence. My guy friends and i have never said anything sexual towards each other, if so, i wouldnt see them as my close guy friends. so i\031m not opposed to having friends of the opposite gender. This one just didn\031t sit right with me. \n\nOh and one last fun fact to help you conclude your thoughts,\n\nWhen he sent me a screenshot of his snapchat streak, i sent one too, we lose our emoji and i was showing him who mine went to and vice versa, he cropped his so i could only see the streak number and emoji& that was also off putting.\n\nWhat are you hiding?\n\nTL;DR\n\nMy boyfriend has had 3 strikes (red flags) that cross my boundaries and I am considering ending the relationship because he cant seem to understand why it bothers me. The pushing point is a girl that he has never once brought up during our relationship but he claims she\031s a best friend, almost sister like, BUT she has made sexual comments towards him, and publically. I don\031t feel like I can trust him.\n\nYou know. Everyone\031s coming at me for being (insecure( and (controlling( I\031m over it!! My boundaries are my own! I\031ll act upon them and find someone who respects them. Comment as you all please, I\031m done! Have a great day ladies and gentlemen.
## 641 No one told me.\n\nI just got a job offer and I asked HR if there was wiggle room in the salary, but stressed I was excited for the role and could start when they asked. She said it was no problem for her to ask and she would let me know. After 4 business days I reached out and got an OOO reply, so I texted the recruiter I\031d worked with. She basically told me that everyone was thrown off that I asked for more money since she told me a salary during our phone screen. I explained I didn\031t realize that was when negotiations took place, that I have always asked after an official offer and the company either says there is no wiggle room or comes back with a different number. She reassured me the position is still mine and she would call me back after she found out about salary counter. She called back a few hours later and told me that the company offered the job to someone else because they thought I would reject their offer if it couldn\031t come up. She was in the dark about this offer, and I\031m not sure how since she is recruiter working on that opening. My jaw dropped to the floor. I have been trying to comprehend how a question got twisted into a demand and somehow made the team think I was walking away if they couldn\031t offer more. She said the same position is open on another team and she was trying to get that manager to just hire me, but he wants to interview me (which I understand). I had already given my notice (also I realize I should never do that until something is officially set) and now I\031m stunned. The company sells sales methodology training (a key trait they say is to be comfortable discussing money) so I\031m even more confused that an attempt at a negotiation ruffled so many feathers. It\031s been hard in the job search, and I feel like I need to still interview and accept if offered because I really need the job. But it feels so unfair that this is the situation and I keep reminding myself that I did a normal thing, but the outcome is abnormal.
## 651 I've seen a lot of posts this year about people feeling socially isolated in their program and struggling to make or maintain real friendships, not just acquaintances. I've noticed also that this seems more pronounced among internationals and introverts, which is completely understandable. After an acquaintance in my program asked me for advice, I thought it could be helpful to share more widely. \n\n# You are probably doing better than you think you are\n\n* People in the MBA are highly self focused. This is also fair. With academics, recruiting, finding places to live in a new city for the summer/FT, maintaining existing relationships, it's just hard to get outside yourself. If your classmates don't call or text you, it's likely not because they dislike you, they're just spending a lot of time on themselves. \n* Rarely do people actually speak badly about others (in my program at least). Others probably think you're hanging out with different groups. \n* Don't feel pressured to be funny or witty. Just be yourself.\n\n# Say yes! \n\n* If you get invited to things, say yes. If you turn down invitations, the invitations stop coming. When you get established, it's easier to say no to something and not get forgotten. Until you're pretty well cemented in a group, say yes. \n* The obvious exception to this is something that's dangerous, immoral or unethical. Don't let your first time being involved in something be a cheating scandal. \n* This doesn't have to be for the international ski trip. I'm saying when you get invited to watch the March Madness you should go instead of offering an alternative or staying in. \n\n# Work on making one solid friend first \n\n* This is underrated IMO. If you get a solid friend established, they will start inviting you to things they're invited to. \n* Invite people to things. Invite people to 1:1 events with lead time. A classmate of mine invited me to breakfast 2 weeks out. It seemed like an odd request but we got to know one another much better over a meal at a place he knew was near where I live that I've talked about before. He made a real effort and that meant a lot to me. We hang out now. \n* **It's better to be interested than interesting. Talk about them.** \n* If you're stuck in one group and find yourself struggling to make more friends, this also applies. Make one good friend in a different group and you'll start getting invites. \n\n# Meet people where they're at \n\n* **People will not bend to your likes and interests.** This is the hard truth. People will listen and be polite about it in general, but if you like niche things and try to push those activities on people, it's going to be very hard to get traction. \n* Don't like the activity? See: "Say yes!" \n* Most people like drinking and hanging out in large groups. Outside of this, it can vary wildly by program. \n* Try to get added to the whatsapp or whatever that group is using to coordinate things. If you missed getting into a group or clique, these already exist. If you can get in, you'll start getting notified of happenings. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n# You're not alone, hang in there. \n\n# \n\nIf you have additional insight, please share.
## 661 So, I've really been in a "screw it" sort of mood, is what I'm going to blame this on, but honestly I feel so stupid. I was talking to this nice, great looking guy for a few days. He tried to call me at some point and I told him I didn't do well on the phone but we could FaceTime if he wanted. But he said he didn't have FaceTime. We even planned to meet up this weekend. He supposedly lives a couple hours away so I suggested meeting halfway. He suggested I meet him at the cabin he was building that was sort of halfway, but closer to me. So at this point I said, "I hope you understand but I'm definitely going to need some kind of verification of who you are if I'm going to meet you in the middle of nowhere." He said that was perfectly fine and I could Google his name, he seriously gave me his high school and what sport he played and year (2000)? I suggested video call or his ID. I went ahead and showed him mine (covered my address) and a short video. Then he goes quiet for hours. So I start making jokes about why he didn't like my video and I get this text, "Are you looking for Jdigx$f? This is his mom. He's got appendicitis and we're at the ER." And that was when it hit me so hard that he had been lying from the start. I started googling him like crazy and found out the business he said he owned, doesn't seem to exist. I couldn't find him on literally any social media. I remembered the first thing I said to him, I was making fun of half his pictures looking 20 years old. I'm so weirded out right now. I had showed him a picture of myself with my kids, he knows what kind of car I drive because I just bought it last week. Why did he want to meet me at a cabin in the woods? I hate online dating so much. I would rather stay single forever, I think. Please please be careful!
## 671 There\031s a previous post about him but today I had enough. \n\nMy uncle from another state came to visit as a surprise because he was having a tough time and needed a breath of fresh air. He\031s a great guy, really amazing. He will only be here for a week and staying with his friends. \n\nOf course, my husband wants no visitors which I understand with our baby but this was different. He gets super shy and insecure when a family member of mine stops by. He is insecure about his weight and says he just doesn\031t want to talk to anyone.\n\nThis has been going on for YEARS. He didn\031t even meet most of my (extended) family while we were dating. I\031ve made so many excuses for him. Granted, he didn\031t grow up with much family at all and I come from a big one.\n\nWe live with my parents and the rare occasion a family member is here he freaks out, blames me and today when I told him my uncle was here he asked if he could just secretly come in. I really wanted him to meet my uncle but nope. He could just say hi then he could come to the bedroom, He decided to wait it out till he leaves and told me \034fuck that house.\035 He said one more surprise visitor and he\031s moving out. \n\nI don\031t know what to do. I understand social anxiety more than anyone but it puts me a in a tough position. I feel like I\031m walking on eggshells and then he told me I\031m wasting his time and money coming back home today.\n\nTrust me, I know what it\031s like to just want to come home and relax especially after a day of work but cmon. \n\nWhile I\031m feeding the baby, he sends me a text asking for gas money, I didn\031t see it, so he sends me a text saying I\031m ignoring him and now I\031m blocked.\n\n(He\031s blocked me numerous times in the past) so whatever but all this because my uncle is here?)\n\nI try to be understanding but he is so freaking aggressive and can hurt.\n\nTwo nights ago, I went to the store and he stayed in the car with the baby. I only had to grab two things but my phone died. It does this thing where it will die at 20% then turn back on. So i left it charging, but then I took it with me shopping just in case it turned on and he freaked out. He said I lied to him about it turning on and then I went in. Well, it went on but then unfortunately died again. When I went outside to where he said he would be, he was gone. I couldn\031t call him so I waited for 25 minutes in the freezing cold weather. When he finally pulled up, he said he made me wait because he was mad and just drove the baby around. \n\nIs this fucking normal?? He makes it seem like I\031m the crazy one???
## 681 She\031s weird from asking to sleep with her 23 year old daughter, \034because I make her feel safe and secure\035 when she has her own bed. To her recent text saying \n\n\034Love you omg I feel like shit I need my baby girl so bad no one knows how to love me like you do.\035 (that is copy and pasted from her text message.)\n\nShe also gets visibly angry when I tell her she can\031t hold my hand and that she makes me uncomfortable when she says and does these things. She\031s said things that I can\031t understand where in her mind she thinks it\031s right to say to her grown kid let alone things she would say when I was a minor. I\031ve woken up to her in my bed so many times that it\031s annoying. It\031s also uncomfortable she doesn\031t even live with my grandma and I anymore. She also has a horrible jealousy streak with my friends and her own siblings. I\031ve expressed to her that saying these things are not something you say to your daughter. Like the nickname baby girl. My uncle has called me that for as long as I can remember. My mom started getting jealous of that nickname and tried to use it. But the way she uses it she uses it like we\031re in a relationship. My uncle will say I love you baby girl that\031s fine. But mom makes it a point to say. \034I love you MY baby girl.\035 \034You\031re my baby girl.\035 Or \034you\031re mine baby girl\035 always making it very possessive. \n\nAlso she\031ll be like \034I love you\035, and I\031ll say \034love you too.\035 That\031s where the words should end with maybe a goodnight or goodbye. Then she says love you more. I don\031t say that back to her and she gets angry and cries how I don\031t love her or give her enough attention. My mom and I we\031re not close because of the way she\031s treated me growing up. My aunt has this thing where she says love you to the moon and back. Well she now claims that it\031s always been a her and I thing. She didn\031t start saying it till I started spending time at my aunts house. Not getting jealous of it till then. \n\nMy uncle got his septum pierced a year ago and I got mine December 28th. She threw the biggest fit calling my uncle and I. Saying to my uncle stop stealing my daughter, she\031s mine not yours stop acting like her father or else you\031ll never see her again. Then calling me and saying of course you would getting matching piercings with your uncle. You would never do it with me. She said all this to the man who raised me like his own since he was 17. She also knew he got his like a year before me. So no where was it planned to get matching piercing. Not to mention it\031s the surgical metal one you first get when you get a piercing. It\031s not like we got matching septum rings. It was a coincidence not planned she still rants about. She fights with my grandma because I spend to much time with my grandma. I live with her to take care of her of course I\031m spending time with her.\n\nSome days she makes me so uncomfortable that I pretend to be asleep so she\031ll leave me alone or even lock my door. Her possessiveness, her always wanting to be with me or always wants to hold my hands makes me so uncomfortable. Also she has a dog that since we got her always referred to her as me and mom being her Mommy\031s. I would always be like nah I\031m her sister and she would get defensive saying no she\031s our dog so we\031re her Mommy\031s. That may not seem weird to you but the way she makes it sound and how she treats me is just uncomfortable.
## 691 A different kind of race report for a different kind of race. Be warned, this is very long, but any questions you have about it WILL be responded to and answered.\n\nINTRO:\n\nI\031ll start off by saying that it took awhile for me to get this all written out, so I apologize for any delays for the small group of people who specifically asked for a write-up on my experience at The Speed Project (TSP). For anyone who is wondering what the heck TSP is, it is a 300 mile/482km (give or take) unsanctioned relay race starting at the Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles and ending at the Welcome to Las Vegas Sign. Runners compete in teams of 6 - two women and 4 men if you\031re going for any sort of record - and can have as many non-running crew members as they would like. A huge part about TSP is that there are #NORULES, outside of not being allowed to run on interstate highways. You can make any route that you\031d like, have runners run any distance that they would like in any order they choose, but at least one runner needs to be on the road on foot at all times. Exchanges are done through high-fives. Team tracking is done through whoever is willing to offer their cellphone up to be tracked by TSP HQ. At times it feels like a big-name, highly-funded, full-scale race, but at its core TSP is grassroots and as unsanctioned as deciding to meet up at a graveyard with your friends and race from this tree to that gate.\n\nI was invited by a good friend of mine who has been working for On Running for a few years now to run TSP on his team. The text I received back in January gave no indication of what to expect past that I was going to be a member of a relay that was going to try and break TSP\031s OG team (4 men, 2 women) record of 29 hours and 51 minutes. However, about two weeks after I accepted I got an email from an On Running team member asking for my preferred airline, shoe/shirt/shorts size, and a bunch of other info with some details about what the race was going to look like. Our team was fully sponsored, I would pay for nothing, and would be decked out in all the best gear from a brand that I heavily respected; months before the race started I was already getting more than I had bargained for. I had never had any sort of partnership with a brand before, so this was a huge deal to me. When my box of gear arrived at my apartment it was more than I could have possibly imagined: three pairs of shoes, and a sampling platter of On Running gear. I\031m pretty sure it had been several years since I had bought new running gear for myself, so this package automatically became the nicest stuff in my closet. I was HYPED UP.\n\nPRE-RACE:\n\nI arrived in Los Angeles two days before race day. I was picked up in a van and introduced to one of the drivers and runners on my team. I guess it\031s at this point that I should mention that I had never met any of these people before. One of them I knew through the running messageboard dyestat, but the person who had organized this team and invited me was actually running the whole race solo (yes, 300 miles by himself, he\031s insane). We took the van out to some of the more difficult to navigate parts of the course to get a feel for it and do some last-minute scouting for faster routes. I got my first look in a few years at the Nevada desert that I would be running through, and then turned back to meet up with the rest of the team at the house On had rented for us. The next day was mostly making sure all of our materials were gathered together, and talking through our final bits of race strategy - how we were going to divide up mileage and whatnot. With a little bit of daylight left, we ordered some pizzas and sat outside getting to know each other the best we could. One of our team members suggested that we all have a heart-to-heart about what made us excited and fearful about the race. I talked about how because of some of my recent accomplishments my ego can sometimes show its ugly face, and lead to me taking on more than I can handle, so no one should feel afraid to tell me to back down and not try to be a hero. Everyone else shared useful info about themselves as a person and runner, and with that we felt absolutely confident that we were going to crush this race and break the record. We all turned in to try and get some sleep around 9am with a wake-up call of \\~2:30am for the 4am start time.\n\nTHE RACE:\n\nI had the first leg of the whole race - \\~5.5 miles to get us from the Santa Monica Pier to our planned exchange point underneath a highway. The start was the usual yelling and cheering that can cause people to go out sprinting, but with 50+ miles on deck for the next 29 hours I knew that it would pay off to use no more energy than was necessary in the early stages of the race. The signal to begin is given and I immediately turn away from the \034suggested route\035 to start our team\031s game plan. 5:5x pace feels nice and comfortable, even on the slight incline that I had for the full segment, so I rolled along at that since my goal I set for myself was to average around that pace to help get our team to the record. It\031s 4am so I have the roads to myself, I have my phone in hand just in case I felt unsure about directions, as I had to maneuver some bike paths and side streets. The whole thing goes off without a hitch, and in no time I\031ve slapped the hand of my teammate and sent him off on his leg.\n\nWe take a slight detour, but the whole ordeal takes no more than 200m extra from what we had planned. We had all agreed that mistakes would happen, and that we just had to remain calm and accept it. This was certainly good because over the next few hours we would make two more mistakes, never adding on significant distance, but more importantly never shaking our mentality. I run my second leg of about the same distance as the first, completing the longest stretches that I would see for the rest of the race. Our reasoning here was that having longer segments at the beginning of the race would prevent errors from exchanges and complicated directions heading out of LA, and once we were out in the desert there would be more room for flexibility.\n\nWe\031ve made it out of the city and are now cruising through the desert. We switch to shorter distances at \\~11am to avoid people taking unnecessary heat during the peak daytime temperatures. This allows us ample time to soak shirts, neck gaiters, and hats in water, place them in our RV\031s freezer, and be nice and chilly before heading out into the scorching desert sun. Hydration and nutrition are also in full swing at this point. In between running I\031m making sure I\031m drinking 12oz of water with SOS electrolyte powder and getting some solid food in me. The paces pick up a bit from myself and other teammates. I also figured that I should start running a bit faster, as our women were ripping sub-6 minute pace (sub-3:45/k) and said that they still felt great! A few 5:40 and 5:30 miles make their appearance as we hit our first section of dirt roads.\n\nThe sun is hitting its peak as we enter truly desolate land. There has not been and continues to be no reprieve from the sun as temperatures top out around 95F (35C), but no one shows signs of exhaustion - heat-related or otherwise. We had known before that our group was full of gritty blue-collar grinders, but the benefit that it gives to us is really starting to be apparent. Clouds roll in around 3:30pm, team morale is high, and I\031m about to reach my first significant break of the day. We aren\031t quite sure about where other teams are in relation to us, but TSP HQ has us placed behind them, so although it appears that they were on a different route than us and may be further ahead, we decide that we have no choice but to stick to our game plan and just run them down.\n\nMy last leg in the daylight finishes around 4:30pm, and I have a chance to hop into some compression boots, grab a more substantial meal (artichoke burrito) and catch about an hour of sleep in the back of the RV with the blackout curtains down. I wake up from my light nap and we\031re at a gas station, with about an hour to go until I start running again. Myself and another night-shift member chat a bit about what we\031re about to undertake, and then check where we\031re headed to make sure we meet up with the rest of the crew. To our horror, we\031re one spot too far and need to backtrack to make it to the exchange. The section in question was a 40ish mile stretch of dirt roads, which the RV could not possibly drive on, so everyone who was doing that stretch needed to be there to get into a 4-wheel drive vehicle and begin the trip to the next exchange point. At this point it\031s going to take the RV 35 minutes to get there, and the rest of the crew estimates that they\031ll make it to the start of the long dirt road section about 2 minutes before we get there. Our RV hauls down the highway, with myself and the other runner trying to throw everything we could possibly need into our bags to throw into the 4x4 when we get there. We tell them to send the third 1st-shift night crew member out and we\031ll catch up to him. This ends up working perfectly as he only makes it about a mile out before we make it to the exchange, hop in the 4x4, and catch up to him for an exchange.\n\nOur two women and one of our other male runners get some much needed rest after CRUSHING their last bit before nightfall, and the other night shift runner nailed his trail-cut through that we needed him to do due to his expertise navigating more technical terrain. The first bit of the road goes fine. It\031s soft, which we expected, and a bit washboard-y (it looked as though a monster truck had driven over it and left deep grooves in the road), but we managed to keep the pace right around 6-flat or under. It\031s worth noting that at this point the sun was entirely beneath the horizon, so we run along with mostly useless headlamps, guided primarily by the floodlights of our 4x4. We trade off 2 mile stretches for a little bit, and the road starts to get more sandy and grooved. We begin a climb, and at one point I feel as though I\031m starting to move backwards. I signal for the car to pull ahead of me to swap off early, which works perfectly. My teammates support my decision deciding that we will all move to \034based on feel\035 leg length, with us giving a thumbs-up for \034I can keep going\035 and a thumbs down for \034pull ahead and let someone else take over\035. My expertise is in steady-paced road running, so this is certainly new territory for me. Thankfully my teammates are more experienced in big climbs and rough terrain, so they are able to pick up a bit of my slack.\n\nIt\031s at this point that the road starts to become hell.\n\nThe grooves in the road become ditches. The loose dirt becomes more or less beach sand. Our car begins to sway back and forth violently. The shaking of the car became so intense that our bike rack which held a mountain bike to allow for the possibility of bike pacing RIPS OFF. Yes, that's right, the terrain was so gnarly that our bike rack was ripped from its bolts and we had to throw the bike in the truck, still attached to the rack, while one of our runners forged ahead. I do not consider myself someone who is exceptionally prone to motion sickness, but the combined mental and physical fatigue of having already been awake and running for nearly 20 hours with only an hour of \034sleep\035 made it hard to keep my sanity. First came the headaches, then the nausea, and then after not being able to eat due to nausea, but having to continue running came the insanity. However, even with all of this happening, myself and my teammates (who felt far better than I did through all of this) pressed forward. We started to see the taillights of a team and blew past them. Even feeling shaken by the car, morale was high, and as we pushed onwards we saw a SECOND set of tail lights. We blew by this team at a similar rate, with one of our runners getting particularly pumped up, as the runner he passed was none other than team Altra runner Zach Bitter (American record holder in the 100mile, and genuinely awesome human). We thought that there might be one more team ahead of us, but were told that they were taking an even more complicated route to cut off these roads, but maybe add on some extra distance, so we decided at this point that we just needed to continue pressing forward and record pace. However, for me at least, the nausea continued, and for the last 30 minutes to an hour of this FIRST powerline road portion I started to fade in and out of reality, and when we finally made it to the halfway point I was nearly taken to the RV by one of the crew members and laid to rest.\n\nI very hazily remember this next part, but it has been confirmed to me by our crew, but while we were restocking water and food, someone asked me if I was okay, and I drearily responded with \034I don\031t know\035 and then took a pregnant pause before saying, \034but I don\031t know if we can still win and get the record without an extra person in the car, so I\031m getting back in.\035 Probably against the better judgment of that crew member, I got back in the car with my two other night-shifters, and our now-much fresher other male runner, and set off on our journey to finish up the powerline roads with another 45 miles of dirt.\n\nThrough sheer luck the next stretch of road was far smoother than what we had encountered, and I was able to overcome my nausea and get some food and water back in me. The first 17 miles of this stretch were a very significant climb (\\~4000ft) I ran two very weary \\~.75mi stretches, but could feel my strength slowly come back to me. As I got more food down I suddenly felt my brain snap out of the fuzzy it was in and I became immediately far more aware of my surroundings. After being informed of how bad I looked earlier I sent a quick message to the crew to let them know that I was doing much better. We were listed on the tracking website as being squarely in first, but still didn\031t know the plans of the one team who was originally listed ahead of us that wasn\031t one of the two teams we passed on the first powerline section, so we still had no choice but to continue pressing. With my second wind fueling me, I started to take on more distance to give my teammates more recovery, and also pushed downhills hard whenever I came across them. I was able to get some sub-6 pace back into the mix, and give the thumbs up to keep going and stretch my segments out to about 2 miles each.\n\nThen we reached hell again.\n\nThe road started to get obscenely rocky. The nausea flooded back. I started having to slow down again. After miles of flat, we hit our last big climb: 1000ft over 5 miles until the 10 mile descent to the final 30ish miles of the race along a flat road that headed straight for the Vegas sign. I hit my last climb and really don\031t feel great. I have about 50 miles in my legs at this point and just felt my body run out of calories. The descent arrives and I get out to do my leg. The footing is some of the worst we\031ve had the whole race and I can\031t muster much faster than 8:00 pace even descending 200 ft over the course of that mile. I get back in the car, but things only get worse. My body is getting thrown around the car as we traverse highly technical terrain that our driver struggles to control the car over at times. I can\031t even think about eating without feeling sick, and the headaches come back in hefty waves. While I'm not sure if this was the most physically grueling thing I've ever done, from a mental perspective I pushed through pain and misery I didn't know existed. Those powerline roads were truly the stuff of nightmares. My body experienced convulsions, dry heaving, hallucinations, and general delirium on that descent. I cried uncontrollably as it felt that my soul was rattling around in my body. It truly felt as though I was being held in a cage and tortured by otherworldly beings. My vision was mostly black and whatever shapes I could make out around me looked like twisted figures of alien creatures.\n\nThis went on for a full hour.\n\nI don\031t remember reaching the bottom. I\031ll also let you decide whether I meant that literally or figuratively. However, when the car stopped and the women and our freshest feeling male run took over to give the night shift crew a small break, I was told that the other two male runners walked over to the sprinter van, while I was picked up by a crew member and placed in the back of the RV on a mattress. My vitals were there, but I didn\031t respond to verbal contact. The others had a race to win, so they started ripping half mile and mile legs to finish up the race.\n\nBut thankfully this isn\031t where my story ends.\n\nI wake up unsure of where I am. I peel my face up off of the sweat-covered sheet thrown over the mattress in the back of a parked RV, and recognize my surroundings allowing some memories of what\031s going on to fill my head again. I glance at my watch and see 7:12am. The RV driver rushes over as I\031m stepping out of the bed. I ask him how long I\031ve been out for.\n\nAn hour and a half.\n\nI do some quick mental math and realize that means we\031re still on pace to hit the record, and half a bit under 2 and ½ hours to go. I ask him how the team is.\n\nTired.\n\nOkay, well tell them I\031ll be ready to do a half mile whenever they reach wherever we\031re at. \n\nThey\031ll be here in 40 minutes.\n\nI hop in the compression boots to see how the legs feel after 50+ miles. Not the worst. I ask him to give me whatever food they have lying around. They had gotten some pancakes and canadian bacon from IHOP. That\031ll do - I grab three pancakes and a handful of bacon and wash it down with a 20oz swig of water. After 15 minutes in the boots I step outside. The sun greets me like a long lost friend you just reconciled with after a heated argument. I do some leg swings supporting myself on the side of the RV and see my teammates all piled into the sprinter van cheering on the female runner currently crushing the road in front of her. She gives whatever smile she can muster as she gets closer to me, and passes off the ceremonial high five. I take my first step&\n\n& and run .56 miles at 4:41/mi pace.\n\nMorale could not have been higher. Although I wouldn\031t have believed I had any left, my eyes let a few more tears loose, but for different reasons than earlier. We crush our remaining legs. I run the fastest I had all race. The friend who had invited me to be a part of this team finally makes an appearance in a pickup truck. The energy is undeniable. We see the Vegas sign and run the last 400m as a team who had just been through so much together.\n\nWe reach the sign and are greeted with a champagne shower. We won. The record was toast. We had run ~290 miles in 29 hours and 26 minutes.\n\nTHE AFTERMATH\n\nOur short interview that follows covers the highlights of each runner\031s biggest strength for the race. Our females\031 unbelievable drive to break expectations of what they were capable of. The runner who made us talk about our feelings and strengthened us as a group. The runner who took the brunt of the work on powerline (the dirt roads). The runner who was always willing to step up. Myself with my double transcension of pain and death. It was an incredible feeling.\n\nI reached one of the lowest lows I\031ve felt and one of the highest highs in my life in the span of just a few hours. People had told me that TSP was life-changing, but I always felt that phrase was super cliched. Well I am here to confirm that for me, this experience was something that has made everything feel different.\n\nI don\031t know if this is the hardest I\031ve ever run in my life. Actually I can confidently say that it isn\031t. However, in terms of suffering and pushing through exhaustion, I have never taxed myself mentally like this. It was horrifying, beautiful, and really all I can say after all of this\n\n.. is that I\031d do it again.\n\nThank you to On Running for helping to make this happen, to our crew for being so dedicated to our goals, and to my teammates for being so incredibly tough out there, and helping each other along. I\031ll never forget this.
## 701 So I go in early this morning because I have the HR meeting at 10.30 (STUPID TIME as my dept is really getting to grips with the day around that time) And check my email there are four notifications of emails deleted from my email account. I find them in the server trash and print them out and add to my file. Seems Baby GM got in earlier on her phone - but system is set up so any deletion simply goes into archive and if it's on a phone just into my server trash folder.\n\nPrep for the day with replacement linen ready for staff to use while I am away from the floor. Start the crew and then get a call to report to a room set aside for meeting and the head of local HR is in the room. One of my clean rooms already checked and ready for arrival for a walk in the night before GRRR I was formally invited to bring a support person along. Baby GM and HR head are making coffee in the room and using the clean cups etc. I get offered a coffee and refuse (don't drink it anymore) I have brought my water bottle and a 6' plus, built like a proverbial out house, ex Warrant Officer 1 of the Army with me here forth WO as my support person (also my honey LOL) . WO refused coffee as well and asked my permission to look at the room. GM shrugs when I look at her so I conduct a tour of the room for WO as Area Manager arrives and WO whispers to me that this is looking more and more like a kangaroo court. Then our property's HR rep arrives (lovely lady and we have worked together on issues with staff in the past very well ie she knows I am thorough)\n\nI sit on sofa in corner, WO sits on arm of sofa beside me- protective in every fibre of his being.># Area Manager on sofa with me HR rep on other sofa with HR head. Leaving Baby GM to find a seat on a dining chair.\n\nHR Head starts with spiel about how we all respect each other in the company (BS BS BS) Then HR Rep reads the complaint from Baby GM to me. I listen and nod wisely.\n\nBaby GM then launches into a tirade about my cost over runs etc and so forth. Although the actual complaint that was I had almost spat at her when we had the conversation the Monday and I obviously have little respect for her and am proving difficult to work with. HR Head coughs and mumbles and HR rep gives me a wink!\n\nArea Manager speaks up and says nice things about me, outside my back packer staff I have two long term staff members I adore - totally reliable and excellent workers and there are few hotels in the region that have room attendants that would qualify for Long Service Leave, my CPORs are excellent overall, several owners have written to the company to commend me and the CEO of the group and his family said I went above and beyond for them etc and put it in my file. Plus a yearly award for performance since I have been with the company etc.\n\nI take a breath to speak and Baby GM loses it! "How would a Housekeeper get the CEO to say that, either she's lazy and too busy chatting with guests to work or she tricked him!" Actual quote!\n\nOMG! I actually gulped like a fish WO told me later and both HR's sat back in their seats while Area Manager actually laughed but covered it up well. Then she added the kicker: "She bullies her staff, I've had complaints from them about her behaviour" Whoa lady, you just made an enemy and it aint me!\n\nWO knows me well enough to know I have gone in deadly calm mode and I am particularly dangerous like that because I can strip paint with my tongue without raising my voice or using a curse word.=\b He interrupts and says that the issue we are here to talk about was my alleged disrespect as stated in the letter (the witch) presented me with on Tuesday morning and that it seems Baby GM is now bringing in extraneous issues to bolster her current case but are completely irrelevant to the issue at hand. My head is spinning slightly but I stay absolutely calm. HR rep asks me if I would like a minute or two to gather my thoughts outside. Yes please. WO and I repair to the balcony and all he says is: You don't need this but you're gonna finish her aren't you? At my nod he grins and says. I'm gonna to enjoy this.\n\nI go back inside and sit down, the folder I have is actually one of mine because GM says HSK doesn't need stationery supplies LOL I open it and start talking. I am willing to stand on my record for this company. MS Baby GM re did my rosters while I was on leave and instructed the staff to not carry out their full rota of duties etc etc My staff know my roster is a work in progress ie it changes almost daily. I arrive back from leave to find a total mess and insufficient staff numbers to fulfill our department's duties on that day. After being called to the office on the Monday where she berated me about costs needing to come down etc I suggested that this wasn't the time or place considering we had an enormous load of rooms (caused by Ms Baby GM's decision to ignore the procedures of the company in regards to how rooms are to be cleaned etc) and FOC was a witness but I don't see any corroboration from her.\n\nContd: I don't think Ms Baby GM had her priorities right on that day as I was told by every GM and Exec HSK I have ever worked with that our first priority is always our guests -that mantra is printed on our stationery after all (yep that's a clue) although Ms Baby GM did say in a staff meeting before I went on leave that we were not here for the guest benefit but for the company's. I can demonstrate in the two weeks prior to my leave when MS Baby GM was here that my staff met CPOR and better but in the two weeks of my leave when Ms Baby GM assumed leadership of my team after asking my 2IC to step back the team blew out on several days due to overwork -which in itself is a form of disrespect.\n\nAs to Ms Baby GM's other charges of bullying I am more than happy if you investigate those immediately because they are unfounded and extremely serious allegations -which will take time of course and will have to wait while my team finish their duties today to begin as this meeting at this time of the day has already cost my department my labour.\n\nArea Manager gives me this look of approval. My HR rep grins slightly as she's writing notes while I talk. HR head looks like I punched him the gut and Baby GM looks sick. BECAUSE bullying requires immediate investigation and the alleged bully is put on administrative (paid) leave while investigation occurs =\006 Left meeting with WO and down to my office shaking like a leaf. He gets me in the door and gives me a big kiss lol then Area Manager is knocking on the door.\n\nDid I realise I now have a case against Baby GM for spurious complaints? Um yes. Then take the week off on paid leave for the crap week you've been put through. I'd like to speak to your 2IC if I could. One of the long term workers acts as my 2IC By the rules I cant discuss this with anyone in the company while investigation goes on. BUT he has conversation with her outside my (open) door informing her of complaints about me bullying staff. She goes ballistic and tells him that Baby GM is a effwit because I look after my staff. Can she step up while they investigate this please? Yes but if anything happens to OP count on my resignation too. 2IC waves and thumbs up and dashes back to work. HR head and HR rep turn up with Baby GM slinking behind. HR rep tells me that I am now on leave and the next meeting they have available is next Friday... A letter to that effect will be issued this afternoon etc\n\nWO is with me and says he is going to drive me home as I shouldn't drive when I am this upset I nod and let him 'lead' me out of the office and he looks at Baby GM and requests permission for his car to remain until he can collect it. Looks at HR Rep and asks if he can collect the letter on my behalf when he gets back to collect his car. My silent phone is now blowing up with texts from staff (allowed to carry on shift on silent but not be seen using at all) they have ALL called since they finished for the day. As WO and I leave I hear Area Manager say to Baby GM that she is now going to have to run housekeeping until this is resolved as the budget for this time of the year wont allow for another hire.\n\nWO and I go home and I have a bit of a howl as I needed the outlet and we decide to go for a sail. He owns a nice boat. I drop him near the hotel and he walks in front door and walks to Reception. Asks for Baby GM with his phone in his pocket on record. Ms Baby GM is that letter for OP ready please? she snaps yes and slaps it on the counter. He says hello to FOC who witnessed the conversation on Monday and she thanks him for taking her sailing the previous Wednesday. His description of Baby GM's face was as if she had found poop on her shoe.\n\nKarma is a bitch and methinks the Rising Star just went Supernova.
## 711 Mine was when my manager and boss sat me down to tell me that after working 72 hours a week with no lunch breaks, travelling 3 hours a day to work, and having to take on all tasks because we were understaffed that I was incredibly lazy and I had to do more. They then told me that they thought that it would be best if I broke up with my partner of almost 5 years, move out of our flat and to move near work so that I could spend all of mine time working there with no distractions.\n\nThey of course were very shocked when I quit 2 days later by text.
## 721 *(Please read* [*part 1*](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tu51m6/i_found_a_class_photo_of_my_boyfriend_from_1975/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *and* [*part 2*](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvwrqd/i_found_a_class_photo_of_my_boyfriend_from_1975/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) *if you have not!)*\n\n*SPELLING NOT CHECKED YET SO PLEASE EXCUSE THE TYPOS*\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI am now going to recall the events of the past **two days**. A lot has happened, but I will try my best.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 1\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAfter spilling my guts out on Reddit, I couldn't hide the fact that this secret was eating me alive. The majority of people were really just telling me things I already knew but unconsciously chose to ignore.\n\nThat same day I had posted my story on Reddit. I got my computer and did some research again, this time using the keyword 'Supernatural' in every single search.\n\nHowever, this time something useful came up, a website with information on The Undead.\n\nI let my cursor hover over the link, why was I suddenly so afraid to click? Was I afraid of the truth? The same truth I searched and craved for so badly? It was so tempting, yet absolutely terrifying. I was stuck in a complete juxtaposition of emotions.\n\nI took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I collected my thoughts before re-opening my eyes. I cracked my knuckles and twisted my head to stretch my neck, as a little physical preparation ritual. Crazy that it took all that just to click on a link..\n\nWhen I clicked on it, the website loaded quickly and I was bombarded with information, huge paragraphs of texts. It felt like too much being thrown at me, I felt overwhelmed. I took another deep breath before I jumped down the rabbit hole, I read everything until I found what I was looking for.\n\n*Vampire folklore*\n\n*"A vampire is a creature from folklore that subsists by feeding on the vital essence of the living, in the form of blood. Their features and characteristics are extremely distinctive: pale skin (veins can sometimes be visible at the neckline and collar bone), black iris, immortality, blood cravings, inhuman physical strength, attractive, charming and seductive. They have slightly sharper canine teeth than the average person, and can extend these into sharper tools for blood sucking or aggression. Since they are undead they do not emit body heat and do not have a heartbeat or breathe as respiration is no longer needed for their body to function. Science has yet to explain why or how Vampires came to exist. However, it is believed that the cause of these creatures is a virus which is transmitted through blood. Vampires are dangerous undead creatures with violent tendencies and should be avoided at all cost."*\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEverything suddenly made sense.. Jaden's appearance, his strange behaviour, his long life span, his enhanced senses and the blood stain on his collar. However, with sense also came chaos and uncertainty. This information did not provide the comfort I thought it would give me-- all it did was create more questions. There was only one way I could find closure. I needed to talk to Jaden, and this time I was ready to listen to him.\n\nThat night I sat on my bed inspecting the class pictures. Jaden was out doing whatever he does when he goes out, but I waited anyway. That night he never came home, I called him a few times with no avail. I fell asleep confused and worried.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 2\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFirst thing I felt when I woke up was a hand on my forehead. I flinched out of surprise and opened my eyes to Jaden sitting on the bed beside me with one of his hands on my forehead and the other holding his senior photo. I sat up before checking the time on my phone, it was already past noon. The fact that he was holding the picture didn't bother me.\n\nI knew, that he knew, that I knew.\n\n"When'd you get back?" I asked, yawning while rubbing my eyes.\n\n"Just now." he replied with a small smile, his hair was dishevelled and his hands were trembling.\n\n"Are you alright? Where were you last night? I waited for you.." I put my hand over his cold one in an attempt to comfort him.\n\nHe didn't reply and just took hold of my hand squeezing it slightly.\n\n"Jaden, we need to talk." I admitted, scooting closer to him on the bed. "Are you ready to tell me everything? Because I am ready to listen."\n\nHe nodded in response. He looked hurt, almost embarrassed like a beat up puppy.\n\n"Okay then, whenever you're ready," I squeezed his hand.\n\nHe let out a sigh, "It is me in these class pictures," He placed the pictures back on the bed. "I was born in 1957, and I graduated in 1975."\n\nI let out a sigh of relief... we were getting somewhere and I wasn't crazy after all. I let him continue.\n\n"I wasn't always a.."\n\n"A vampire?" I finished his sentence.\n\n"Yeah.." he frowned.\n\n"It happened right before I graduated."\n\n"I had this friend and we'd been close ever since kindergarten, but right after he'd come back from his hristmas break in Romania, his appearance had changed- not to the point where everyone noticed but slight changes that I saw."\n\n"His skin was suddenly pale even though he'd always had a natural tan, and his eyes went from brown to black." His bottom lip was trembling slightly, I knew this was hard for him but it was a conversation we needed to have, that we both deserved to have.\n\n"He was colder both emotionally and physically, we started falling apart and it left me confused," He shook his head slightly.\n\n"One day I decided to confront him about his distance and we ended up getting into an argument at his house.."\n\n"Everything happened so fast.. and, one second we were shouting at each other, then he was clawing at me and the next he had his hands around my neck with a look of pure rage on his face, almost animalistic."\n\n"He was so strong and I thought he was going to snap my neck in half.. and that's when he bit me." Jaden's voice cracked and he looked down at our intertwined hands.\n\n"It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, the agony I felt is indescribable. I could feel the life being drained out of me, my body screaming for the essence it was being robbed of." We made eye contact and I am sure the looks plastered on our faces matched. I felt terrible for him, still do.\n\n"After he bit me everything went blank and I woke up on his bed screaming,"\n\n"My first reaction was to touch my neck, but there was nothing there, no massive cut or wound. I nearly thought I had imagined the whole thing until I saw all the dry blood on my shirt and trousers... *my blood*. I was in so much shock that I couldn't even scream.. that when realised that I didn't actually feel anything, nothing at all." My eyes went wide as he shook his head.\n\n"My chest was complete still.. I didn't even feel the need to breathe anymore. I couldn't feel my heart beat after putting a hand on my chest or checking for a pulse at my neck."\n\n"I never knew you could feel the *life* inside of you, your organs working to keep you alive. But from then on I felt hollow, my body felt lighter..." He explained, taking my hand and placing my palm on his chest. There was no heart beat.\n\n"You really don't realise how alive your own body is until it's not."\n\nI could tell he was trying his best to lay it all out for me, but this was a lot to process. I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled him into my embrace. His cold body creating a contrast with the warmth of mine, I was used to this feeling and it felt reassuring after this past month of distance and confusion. He rested his face in the crook of my neck, which is something he usually did when we hugged. After a moment, I slowly let go of him.\n\n"Can you keep going? I'm still all ears." I reassured him to which he nodded in response.\n\n"I was so scared and disorientated that I didn't even notice that he was standing there the whole time, by the door just watching me."\n\n"By *he,* do you mean the vampire that bit you?" I asked.\n\n"Tommy." he confirmed.\n\nI was thrown back a little, Tommy is the one that bit Jaden?\n\n"Yeah, he's the one that bit me.." he said as though he read my mind\n\n"Right, and then what happened? Did he attack you again?" I asked worried.\n\n"No, when I noticed he was there he broke down and started crying. He told me everything, about his guilty pleasure for Folklore and how he'd taken a trip to Romania to hunt down *Homines Nocturni.* That when I confronted him he hadn't drank blood in three weeks, he lost control and bit me. He'd taken so much blood from me that he had to turn me or I would have died.*"* With context I understood that 'Homines Nocturni' was some form of scientific term for Vampires.\n\n"Oh my god.." Was all I could say, I was flabbergasted. "And he found one?" A *Homines Nocturni"*\n\n"No, it found him."\n\nI frowned.\n\n"Where is Tommy now?"\n\n"I have no idea, after high school I went to college pretending nothing had happened, it was my own coping mechanism. Unfortunately, Tommy couldn't handled it."\n\n"Unlike him, I didn't have a family that I had to explain my situation to or that I would leave behind due to my immortality,"\n\n"I have no idea where he is now.. if he's even alive actually," he gave me a sad look. So, Jaden never actually lied to me about having no family, he really doesn't have anyone else but me. I felt guilty for ever doubting him.\n\n"Didn't people notice that you didn't age?" I tried to shift the conversation away from Tommy because I felt like it was painful for Jaden to talk about him.\n\n"See people only start noticing that you don't actually age after 8 years of knowing you, so every 6 years for the past 47 years I would move countries and last name,"\n\n"You make it sound easier than I assume it is," I laughed a little bit to lighten up the mood to which he did too.\n\nAfter Jaden explained that the scar on his eyebrow was from when Tommy was clawing at him. I finally understood what Tommy meant by '*Sorry for hitting you with my bat.'*\n\nWe also laughed as he told me some of the positive aspects of him being a Vampire, turns out after he'd been turned he was suddenly attractive to both men and women. Which was previously unfamiliar to him.\n\n"I can't believe you were getting girls in the 90s..." I deadpanned and we both laughed. After we stopped laughing I realised something.\n\n"You need blood to survive right? Do you get it from people?"\n\nJaden frowned.\n\n"I have to," He admitted and when he saw the look of slight disgust I gave him he quickly kept talking, "But I don't hurt them! Let me explain. We have numerous special abilities and one of them is seduction. If you are willing to let a Vampire bite you then it won't hurt, it will feel quite nice actually."\n\n"I see.."\n\n"I don't kill them..I take the bare minimum. Plus, they don't remember anything afterwords." he reassures me.\n\n"How long does the bare minimum last you?"\n\n"Two weeks max," he put up two fingers, "I have never drank as much blood as I can take.. but it's so hard to let go, once my teeth are in their neck and their blood is in my mouth, it's euphoric. I am afraid that I'll kill someone if I go overboard or worse.. crave more."\n\n"Okay, I hear you." I comfort him.\n\n"I was so worried when you found out, I thought you'd hate me." He admitted.\n\n"I mean finding out that your boyfriend is a vampire is not a normal relationship problem!" I laughed\n\n"See? That's why I couldn't simply just tell you."\n\n"Wait.. you left the box there on purpose?" My eyes went wide. I was a little surprised about the fact that he'd purposely left the box there for me to find.. and pretended that I wasn't suppose to have found it. Plus, that he had managed to hide this whole secret from me *so well*. I would have probably never found out if he hadn't wanted me to. Like some game.\n\nHe gave me a little smirk and we both laughed but mine wasn't as prominent as his.\n\nWe spoke for the rest of the night and he answered all of my questions with ease. He explained everything with as much detail as he could. That night he went to shower first and I stayed sitting on the bed feeling content with the day. It was a lot of information to process but I had Jaden to help me.\n\nMy laptop was still on my bed and the website about '*The Undead'* was open. I grabbed it and scrolled down the page. I came across a short paragraph and a small bundle of doubt started growing in my gut.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*'Vampires have the ability to always get their way. They are genetically built to lie, deceive and seduce entirely for their personal gratification. We repeat, do not trust them.'*\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt's funny how different people can be once you get the know them, and I mean *really* get to know them. Have you ever wondered if your friends, relatives or even significant other, are who they say they are? Are *you* really the person you portray yourself to be? In public? In private?\n\nUsually people may not meet your expectations and just leave you disappointed and regretful. However, sometimes they surpass your expectations, in the most sinester of ways. Making you question everything you ever knew, everything you were ever taught about the mundane world we live in. Leaving you disturbed, confused and confronted by the fact that maybe our world isn't so mundane after all.
## 731 My apologies, this is really long but necessary for context. \n\nMy boyfriend David (45M) and I (41F) have been together for 7 years. We both have our own apartments. My son, (Anthony) (15M) lives with me (Rachel) and his son Chris (23M) lives with him. We both work and when Anthony goes to his dads on the weekends, we stay at David's place during the weekend and when Anthony is home we stay at mine.\n\nLast weekend, David and I were hanging out at his house and we were drinking and when He drinks too much he becomes quite obnoxious (repeating the same stories over and over, playing the dumbest songs loud and on repeat ) It doesn't usually bother me but sometimes it irritates the shit out of me and I will go home and return when he sobers up. \n\nSaturday evening, David had a few too many and started doing his obnoxious routine again, so I decided I was going home except I couldn't find my car keys ( we went out earlier in the day and we took my car and I always make him drive) and David was of no help because he was blasting his music from his phone. But I knew where his keys were so I told him I was taking his truck and I would see him in the morning and he gave me a kiss and said he was sorry he was drunk and he'll bring my car to my house in the morning.\n\nWhile this was going on, Chris (Davis's son) was with a friend and not at home. Around 11 pm, I tried calling David but his phone was dead which I figured would happen. So I texted Chris and asked him if he was home yet and what was his dad was doing. Chris confirmed that David was sleeping like a baby. I asked him to remind his dad that I took the truck and to tell David when he woke up to call me, and he said he would.\n\nAt 3:30 am, my doorbell rings, and it's David looking mad as hell and still drunk. I asked him what was wrong and I saw my car keys in his hand and I figured maybe he had forgotten I took his truck. So I told him babe calm down I took your truck remember? He still hadn't said a word so I ask him again whats wrong? He tells me that he just woke Chris up and kicked him out because he thinks me and his son left together and I cheated on him with Chris. I'm obviously shocked and he asks me did I cheat on him with his son. And I told him of course not why would he think that? He wouldn't accept my answer and kept asking me did I cheat on him with his son. I kept telling him no and that was disgusting and I pointed out how illogical that was because when I left, Chris wasn't there, and clearly if he just kicked him out and I was at my house, we obviously didn't leave together much less sleep together. David just kept asking me over and over. I got sick of it and told him either go to sleep or leave. So he says let's go to bed so we get in bed and I'm trying to calm him down and figure out what the fuck is going on and he says "babe, I love the shit out of you but if I find out you slept with my son, I'll go fuck Chris' girlfriend to get even" \n\nNow I was the one pissed off and I pushed him away and told him to fuck off and leave, that he was drunk and disgusting and I wasn't going to tolerate this bullshit. He apologized and laid down to go to sleep then asked me again did I sleep with his son. I told him no and don't ask me again. and we went to sleep. \n\nWe woke up and I asked him did he really kick Chris out and he said yes. I told him he needs to call his son and apologize which he did. Chris was obviously upset but they made up and everything seems to be ok, but when I asked him why he would think I would cheat on him with his son, all he says is he was drunk and when woke up and saw I wasn't there, he thought I left with his son. \n\nI know when people cheat they accuse their partner of cheating but now I'm wondering, did David do something with Chris' girlfriend at some point and now he is drunk and has a guilty conscience and that's why he flipped out on his son and me? Or was he just that drunk and insecure? David and I are both jealous and possessive by nature but thus far it hasn't been a problem in our relationship. But am I overthinking this? Should I ask David about it? Any advice is appreciated. TIA
## 741 Just been, woo woo in my head, like, um, shock? you know? So, its been a wacky last few days. I had to go home to sleep and work the next day. I work 'outta tha home' like Carl, so like, I like work and its easy and relaxing... I don't do much, well, at least I don't think I do... I guess I am good at it and that's why? ok tangent! I know! \n\nAnyway, its congestive heart failure... now that doesn't mean a death sentence!! Just that his heart sometimes works extra hard and its getting really mad about it and it doesn't like that.... so me an Carey gotta do some changes to our diet and excersize to help it out... and that means, actually, you know.... moving around... I got lazy, and he got lazy, and we are just lazy... And its pretty much why we match so well, cause we like being lazy on the couch watching Aqua Teen cause, you know, who doesn't? \n\nSo, my sweet man is saying a tearful goodbye to bacon, and an optimistic hello to sunshine and fresh air... and I have to go out too... what? I'm not letting that sexiness walk alone! Someone might steal him! Guess I need some sunblock for this gorgeous pale goth girl skin I have going on... \n\nI have posted on his timeline, and mine, and our friends and FANly and family have been calling and texting, wanting to know updates...\n\nThe only thing I know, is he has a lot of fluid to get rid of and monitoring and stuff by the hospital staff... but he WILL be ok, and I am not worried about that. I am just concentrating on keeping myself as calm as I can, and trying to get the apartment and everything in order for when he returns. And somewhere to put the 3lbs of bacon we bought at sam's the other day... Oh, and the ribs, cause pork is now a no-no...and I don't know what to do with this beer... and on a tangent again! \n\nSo anyway, sorrrrry for not coming and telling you myself until now, you guys are such great fans, and thanks for thinking of us!
## 751 SSB: From The Abyss chapter 2\n\nOfficer Thrish watched this exchange through the cameras in the ship's hallways, alongside everyone else who hadn't been picked to let their guest into the ship. Crowded as it was, she was quietly thankful she got first pick, given it was her terminal that was immediately connected to such things.\n\nThe girls crowding around her station kept up a steady stream of commentary, too: \n"Aww& poor guy is missing an arm." \n"He'll be missing a lot more once corporate gets a hold of him."\n"oh come on, don't you feel kinda bad for him? \n"I'd love to make him feel better. All. Night. Long." \n\nIgnoring the bragging and bravado around her, she noticed something in the exchange between the guest and her captain. It was brief, but she noticed amidst his clothing was an unusual bulge, visible even under the heavy layers of clothing her wore. Quietly, while the others were gaggling back and forth she started to type a message to her Captain\031s data pad.\n\nBy now, the small group was moving, with the guards marching behind the guest while the captain marched in front, making idle chatter as she pulled out her data pad and responded, neither breaking stride nor conversation. All this went unnoticed by the stranger or the girls around officer Thrish. They didn't even seem to notice what she had. Hopefully they wouldn't have to learn it in the worst possible way.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nAs Captain Trielstin led the procession to the only room she could think of to keep the guest away from anything important, she read the message sent to her. \n\n'He's possibly armed. He looks like he might have something under his left arm.' \n\nShe quickly replied. 'Acknowledged. Thanks for the warning, Thrish.' This wasn't news to her, but she appreciated the concern from her, none the less. It was something she was sure could be handled civilly though. \n\n"Really though, I'm just fucking glad you gals showed up when you did. I've been stuck in that tin can for days!" The stranger claimed as he hobbled along with a limp. The guards behind him kept an eye, intent on helping him along if he needed it when he looked ready to fall over.\n\n"I'm sure it's been rough on you. I'm afraid you'll be stuck in this 'tin can' for a minute as well." The Captain replied. Which was true given they'd have to wait for someone to come out this way. "You jumped the border after all, we need to get you processed and set so you can be officially documented. You know how it is." \n\nHe nodded, glancing over at her. "Understood. The galaxy runs on bureaucracy after all." \n\n'Good. At least I won't have to argue with him,' She thought to herself. Saved her a lot of time and gave her a chance to try to learn more about him.\n\n"Still. This is infinitely better than sitting in a ship alone. My kind are social beings after all, can't stand being alone and cooped up for too long you know?" All this news was music to the captain's ears, he was offering up information without even really being prompted and she knew getting close to him would be easier. \n\n"Oh, well don't you worry. We'll make sure you don't get lonely here." She couldn't help but let a sly grin plaster her face as she came to a stop and did an about face. "I'm afraid though the only room we have for you right now beyond maintenance and our own bed-rooms is the break room. I hope you don't mind us keeping you here till we can find better accommodations for you." She said as the door opened up, revealing a table, some chairs and a long padded seat set around an otherwise empty room.\n\nHe looked to her then to the room. Not ideal, but& "no worse than sleeping on a couch at a friend's place." He said in his native tongue once more. The Captain was about to ask what he said when he stepped forward into the room. "That'll be alright Miss Trielstin, I can make myself cozy here." He said as he did just that. Keeping his back to the aliens he dropped his hood and pulled his mask off unceremoniously. The Captain's eyes went wide as he looked back at them and the pinkish white face of the imperium's most well held secret looked at her with a grin filling his bearded face. \n\n'It's a human!' Her brain fired off before falling into a state of static.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nAnd, just like that, the bridge practically exploded as the realization hit the all the women watching that they had what was probably the single rarest being in consortium space on board. Absolutely no one amongst the crew had expected the strange male to hail from the infamous sex planet, but here he was, and he needed their help.\n\nAnd now here they were, on a ship, with him indebted to them. A few of the quick minded ones started trying to figure out who would get a turn first as the fame of mankind's libido and promiscuity had practically become a thing of legend and myth, propelled forward by countless rumors and hearsay. \n\nOfficer Thrish, too, was caught up in the pure excitement of the situation and was almost tempted to text her captain to see if there would be any chance to muscle in first if the male wanted to offer his 'thanks' to the crew. However the words of her mother, and especially her father, quickly entered her head about dealing with a male. 'Treat him with respect, no is always a viable answer and don't think that debt alone can force a man into bed'. \n\nTaking a breath she started the arduous process of trying to calm everyone down. "Alright girls, come on, quiet down! We don't know what he's been through recently and we don't wanna scare him off by being a bunch of horny bitches like the Shil'vati. Right?" She said, using their longtime rival to bring every nighkru in the room to a stop to actually think about it. \n\n\034Yeah&" \n"That's true." \n"The purple bitches probably already bruised him up." \n"So let's take the more gentle approach!" \n\nThe group slowly started to settle down into an even lull and soon enough, all attention was back on the screen as the human drew a pistol from his coat, quickly silencing everyone who had no context to what was going on. \n\nOfficer Thrish's blood ran cold at the sight and she worried for her captain.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nYarrick nodded and claimed simply. "Yeah, I'm armed ma'am." At the captain's question. She nodded in response before saying something he honestly feared to hear. "Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to relinquish your weapon for the time being. This is a patrol ship after all and we can't have armed unauthorized personnel on board." He looked the dark skinned woman over and he could see she was somewhere between tense and shocked. His little ploy with the surprise had worked on breaking the facade she kept on her, and now he could try playing it to his advantage. \n\n"Alright ma'am. However&" carefully he unzipped his coat and reached in. "I'd ask that you hear out a request of mine." He saw all three individuals in the doorway tense as he slowly drew his revolver from its shoulder rig. "Would you be willing to let me hold on to my little pea shooter if I gave you the ammo? I'm rather attached to my slice of home." He said, putting on a seemingly pitiful tone. Soft and easy to work with. \n\nYarrick could see the captain slightly twist at the proposal. "I.. suppose&" \n\n&and then to drive it home, he gave a bright smile before replying. "Well, alright then!" And like that he could see her will break on the matter. At times the women of the galaxy were too easy.\n\nStill, he was genuinely happy to hear that his gun wouldn't be taken, though a part of him felt like an ass for manipulating the good Captain. Quickly he swung out the cylinder and reached to catch the rounds as they fell with his left hand. \n\nExcept he didn't, as the limb was no longer there.\n\nThe half moon clips clattered to the ground as the captain and Yarrick stared at each other awkwardly. "I&. Uh& sorry, let me get that." Closing the cylinder of his revolver he placed it off to the side on a nearby table before dropping to his knee to collect the wayward rounds. "Here, let me help." He heard the captain say. He was about to protest but he found her to be rather quick on her feet, and if he'd been a slight bit slower in reacting would have been popped in the face by her horns.\n\nHe watched as she retrieved one and he grabbed the other, offering it to her. "Well& thank you. I'm still not used to being down a hand, I admit." Yarrick cringed at that particular thought. As it stood, he was a cripple and, despite his best efforts, a week was not enough time to adjust to that fact. \n\nThe captain for her part just gave him a kind smile, which told him she was very much eating this up. Useful, but more than few blows to his pride. "It's alright. Once all is done I'm sure you'll be fixed up in no time." She reassured him before offering her hand to help him up. At first he was tempted to decline the offer of help but he knew he'd need it.\n\nHe took her hand and as he started to stand, she quickly noticed why he'd taken it without protest. "Here's hoping you're right. Always thought being a cyborg would be pretty cool." He said as he steadied himself on his peg leg, something barely noticeable under his pants leg. \n\nHe held her hand for a minute longer than would be considered polite as he quietly lamented his new status. His brain quickly kicked into gear however as he noticed the captain& blush? He wasn't entirely sure what it was as he saw her markings start to glow brighter from the interaction. "Anyway& let me get the rest of the ammo." He said, quickly retrieving his only hand before it got more awkward. He quickly retrieved a few more rounds from within his coat and handed them off.\n\nShe pocketed the rounds and gave a soft smile. "Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Yarrick. I'll be sure to give these back once you're processed. For now though, I must go. I have to keep the crew in order, after all. However, I'll make sure someone is nearby, in case you need anything." \n\nHe knew that was probably just a curiosity more than anything, but a part of him found it to be a further blow to his pride. \n\n"And at some point I'll be back down here myself to interview you, corporate being what it is will surely want to know how you came into possession of a Shil'vati warship."\n\nAt that, he chuckled. "Oh I'll be happy to tell you, it's quite a story after all. Though you could say the ship cost me an arm and a leg." He let a wide grin plaster his face as, despite his predicament, he could finally use that joke in all its glory, which helped to stave off the dread and trauma of actually having lost his limbs. 'Another battle for another day though.' He quietly thought to himself\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nInwardly, the Captain came to a conclusion about the human standing before her. 'He must be slightly nuts.' It was the only reason she could think of to explain why he would make jokes about his missing limbs, something she knew most individuals took quite seriously, especially when they saw the bill. But damn that smile of his for being as nice as it was&\n\nShe shook her head and rubbed her eye with a smile trying to edge its way onto her lips. "That is a horrible joke, you know that right?"\nShe wasn't entirely sure how else to put it and she could hear Yarrick start to laugh again at her expense. \n\n"Absolutely! It's the whole point after all." He claimed as he calmed down just as quickly. "You don't get too many chances to use a bad joke like that properly after all. Anyway&" with that he finally turned and plopped himself down in a chair. "I'll be looking forward to our interview, Captain Trielstin. My hopes to you, that the crew doesn't give you a headache!"\n\n"They won't be able to give me one any worse than what that joke already did." She said, turning to leave. \n\n\035Ha, damn.\035 Yarrick spoke in his native tongue, still grinning, before switching back to Trade Shil. "But still, thank you.\035 \n\n\034I'll be looking forward to our interview, as well." She said, giving a final glance and smile to the man before the door closed and quietly took a deep breath and, with a loud sigh, let her facade fall away.\n\n"By the dark, are all human men like this?!" She said aloud. He had played her like an instrument with that damn smile! And that helpless act?! Holding her hand?! That male had pulled her all over the place and all she'd gotten was his ammo! Anyone else, and she could have talked them out of their clothes, let alone weapons! \n\nHer guards kept any comment to themselves as she composed herself once again.\n\n"Alright& you two stay here, if he needs anything, assist him. If he tries to do anything he isn't supposed to then& well, restrain him. That's an order." Under normal circumstances she might have given harsher orders, but given who he was, she wasn't about to. Part of her also reasoned he couldn't do too much given his current state.\n\nRegardless, they acknowledged their orders and set up outside the room while the captain started the short march back to the bridge, fully expecting a barrage of questions, cause she already knew Thrish and the others had set up shop and had probably been watching the entire interaction and now she was gonna have to answer all their questions or risk a mutiny. \n\n'Cause the deities know they're gonna want to hear everything about him, either from me or directly from him, and it's gonna be much safer for him if it's told through me.' She thought to herself, preparing herself for the battle ahead.
## 761 I recently moved in with my friend, so now we're roommates. Both 25F. \n\nShe's had some bad luck in the past but trying to build her life back up and I am just maintaining and trying to move forward myself. We both needed a place to live so thought, why not? We get along well and basically have no boundaries in the house, what's yours is mine and etc.\n\nBut my car. It's the one possession I have I just need to know where it is at all times. I adore my car. It's my biggest expense (besides rent) and I am very proud of being able to own a nicer vehicle at my age and with my (terrible ngl) credit.\n\nSo I'm naturally a really giving person, I don't like seeing people down on their luck. She's been using my car to go to and from work (we were coworkers but I'm starting a new job) and it's not a big deal because she kept it to, to and from work. Her car is at a shop that my family trusts so she can get her car fixed and back to her at a cheaper price. Out of the goodness of my family's heart my dad's putting his name on the line for her with this shop who knows and trusts us.\n\nShe knows how my car is to me, we've both agreed to and from work and only that. \n\n\nYesterday she didn't return for a whole hour after she was supposed to. I was understandably upset but she came back with stuff from her old place she didn't get to grab in the initial move.\n\nWell, she was supposed to be back 2 hours ago, meaning she got off work 2.5 hours ago. She hasn't returned with my car. Isn't answering my phone calls, and only answering texts to say 'ill be back soon' she's been saying that since 11 pm. It's 1 am. \n\nI'm an understanding person, if she'd ask to use my car after work I'd be like ok cool when will you be back, but she didn't ask. I'm livid. In my eyes she crossed a boundary because we had agreed on only to and from work. \n\nShe won't tell me where she is with my car, or when she'll be back. I texted her and told her she needs to find a different way for work because she's not using my car anymore.\n\nMy family say I'm the BF for being upset and telling her she can't use it anymore, but if we agreed on only to and from work and she doesn't do that, I see that she crossed a boundary and lost my trust. \n\nSo reddit, AITB?\n\ntl;Dr : roommates car is in the shop I let her use mine to go to work only IF she goes to and from work. She didn't come home with my car after work today and won't tell me when she'll return or where she's at with my car. I told her she can't use my car anymore.
## 771 Storytime! I know it's a long read, but hopefully you'll find it worth the read...\n\nMy last relationship was 6.5 years with an absolute manchild who I looked after every single need for. He moved into my apartment first, then we moved two times during the course of our relationship. Each time I searched for and made all the arrangements for where we lived. The lease was in my name, I arranged the movers, bought furniture, cooked, cleaned, all the bills were in my name, etc. You name it, I did it, and he was just along for the ride. Prior to this I was in a string of relationships that I kept holding onto waiting for them to offer me what I wanted only to be heartbroken in the end. I left this last partner in December 2019 when I was 41, and vowed never again.\n\nThis relationship was literally killing me. I was overweight, unhappy, depressed, living in squalor, and barely making ends meet. He had no goals, no ambition, and didn\031t care about my life or happiness at all, and was financially abusive. And yet, I was terrified to leave the comfort of this relationship. I had no idea how I was going to make it on my own. But seriously, from day one I started thriving. The last 2.5 years have been the best of my life. I found an awesome apartment with a giant art studio attached to it. I\031ve deepened my relationships with my friends and family. I\031ve received two promotions at work which have increased my income by about $10K per year. I\031ve had a string of successful creative artistic projects. I\031ve really enjoyed my life and the world that has opened up for me since. Leaving that relationship was a big step in my recovery from a life-long anxiety disorder.\n\nAnyway, I took a lot of time to work on my self over the last couple years and really wasn\031t looking for a relationship. About 6 months into being single I had a crush on a guy who I had known for years, and we both ended up single at the same time. At first I thought, oh here\031s my chance to shoot my shot.\n\nSo I started going to events or places where I knew I would run into him. But after a couple times, I found myself falling into this pattern of putting everything aside for this dude and we weren't even dating yet. So I backed off and just started living my life, because I really didn\031t like how I was changing myself every time this guy was around. I was really exhausted and I wanted to just be myself and not try to impress anyone or people please just to get someone\031s approval. I recognized my behaviour, I didn't like it, and I knew that I wanted to change, so I just backed off at that point because I wasn\031t ready for a relationship at all, even with someone I had liked for years.\n\nFast forward to this December after being single for two whole years, and I decided that I was ready to check out online dating. Anyway, this was a painful and embarrassing lesson that I needed to learn the hard way, apparently.\n\nSo I matched with this guy on OLD. We had some friends in common but I didn\031t know him. He lived in the next community over. We had so much in common, similar tastes in music, he was creative, intelligent, book smart, emotionally intelligent, cared for the environment, just a solid guy by all accounts. We even had some honest conversations about our past traumas and how we were working on healing ourselves and working through our shit. Like, this guy was the real thing and he ticked all of my boxes. He showed up to our first date with flowers and paid for lunch. We would send each other cute thinking of you texts, memes, etc. We had a very romantic Valentine's date that he planned and paid for. Our energies matched and for the first time in my life, I experienced the reciprocity I deserved. Everything was great.\n\nBut I got super excited and way ahead of myself.\n\nAlmost immediately I fell back into my old behaviours of trying to be perfect, trying to convince this person to love me, and pushing for an intimacy that was far too fast far too soon. Keep in mind, 3 and a half months ago, this guy was a total stranger, yet I convinced myself that I had just met the \034Love of My Life\035 and dove right in. We had sex by the 4th date - I didn't feel ready emotionally and wanted to take things slower, but I also craved physical intimacy after going nearly two years without it. I was the one that initiated the sex too, even though I didn\031t feel quite ready, where I think he would have been more than happy to wait.\n\nWe met just a few weeks before Christmas, and I gave him an elaborate handmade gift that I had spent the whole day making with a handmade card. He apologized for not getting me anything - he was genuinely sorry, but we had only known each other 3 weeks at that point.\n\nI once brought an entire picnic basket feast of food over to his place because I didn\031t think he\031d bother to cook me a decent meal, when he\031s perfectly capable of cooking and could have come up with something. Just to be clear he would have if I had given him the opportunity to.\n\nBecause he lived in a different community, but still within driving distance it wasn't really all that feasible to see each other during the work week, so we really only saw each other on weekends. But I was pushing to see him every single weekend.\n\nJust literally insane behaviour, trying to do everything for this guy to accept me and love me.\n\nAnd the thing is, this guy actually was actually really into me and I think we could have grown something really beautiful. However my pushing and caretaking scared him off and at about the three month mark he started getting hesitant, and then I started getting insecure. When I confronted him about it, he then broke up with me and said he wasn\031t ready for a relationship, and I was left heartbroken.\n\nAt first I was upset. I felt that he didn\031t even give me a chance and ended things only 3 months in. But then after a couple days of reflecting, I realized that my expectations of this guy were way too damn high. His behaviour throughout our short-lived relationship was perfectly reasonable, and in retrospect, mine was weird.\n\nMost of my actions and behaviours were led by my insecurities. I thought I was being myself the whole time, but I was actually being this hyper over-the-top version of myself in an effort to show him how AWESOME I was and convince him to fall in love with me. It ended up having the opposite effect, and if I had just chilled out a bit on my expectations of someone I had literally known for less than 3 months than things may have gone a bit differently.\n\nAnyway, now I\031m eating crow and I\031m heartbroken, but I only did it to myself. I\031m actually surprised he hung around as long as he did, all things considered.\n\nLove takes time to grow between people, and this is one reason why we shouldn\031t just play all our cards at once. In retrospect, it was not only strange behaviour on my part, but it could have actually been a dangerous situation if he hadn\031t been a cool guy.\n\nIf he had acted toward me the way I had over the last few months, I would have run for the hills. I\031ve learned an embarrassing and painful lesson here, albeit a necessary one. I\031ve made so much progress in overcoming my anxiety disorder in the last couple of years, but I completely let it overtake me again in this situation. I guess this is the messy, ugly part of my healing and transformation. I\031m a work in progress. In this case, I was my own red flag.
## 781 In the interest of transparency, I do not like Mia fkn Freedman but I took one for the team and listened to this to recap it. Please excuse typos, I was writing in the notes app while listening:\n\nStarts with Mia getting her staff member who writes MAFS recaps to ~explain to Mia~ \030what MAFS is\031 because apparently Mia has never watched it and doesn\031t have a grasp on even the general concept of the show\n\n\030If you put two women in front of me I couldn\031t tell you which one was Olivia\031 - Mia (seems like a great choice for you to be the one interviewing her then, as opposed to idk one of your various staff members who do know what MAFS is)\n\nMia says every reality show has a villain but the reaction to Olivia seems to Mia to be bigger/stronger than reactions to other villains in the past, example the petition about her not being able to be a teacher, for police to investigate her for revenge porn. Mia is dubious as to why people wanted her investigated for revenge porn because that\031s usually something done by \030jilted lovers\031\n\nRecapper says the article she wrote last week about the cost of being Olivia/reality show villain wasn\031t a \030defence of Olivia\031\n\n\030This is not about taking sides or endorsing anyone\031\n\nStarts actually talking to Olivia at about 13:45\n\nOlivia says she is under contract and there are certain things she isn\031t allowed to talk about, then says she hasn\031t read the contract \030in a while\031 so doesn\031t remember exactly what it says, she isn\031t allowed to \030give away the ending\031\n\nShe was a drama student in the UK, didn\031t like acting because she \030wasn\031t good at it\031 so starting working waiting tables, went to UK because she got into drama course there after high school. Had a happy childhood, was a \030shocking teenager\031, had a privileged gorgeous life. Lived in UK from 18 - 21, moved back home because her dad got sick \n\nHer priority was always to get married and have babies, says \030feminists won\031t like that\031. Never wanted to be a \030kept wife\031, her mum always worked, decided she wanted to be an English/drama teacher \n\nSaw criticism online from people about why didn\031t Olivia\031s mum care for her sick dad instead of Olivia caring for him, says her mum had to keep working to have money coming in\n\nThe lure for wanting to go on MAFS was Jules and Cam. Mia doesn\031t know who they are.\n\nOlivia applied twice before, got to last stage of auditions for season 7, signed on for season 8 but the groom she was matched with dropped out. \n\nMia asks why she didn\031t try out for the bachelor because that seems like a more chill reality dating show (or so she\031s heard because remember Mia has apparently never seen any of these shows) and Olivia says she doesn\031t like the idea of the bachelor because 20 women fighting for one man is misogynistic and she doesn\031t like the idea of women competing with women \n\nShe felt comfortable until about half way through filming. Half way through she started to feel unsafe.\n\nMia asks what made her feel unsafe. Olivia says there was an incident at the retreat that was \030violent and dangerous\031 and production weren\031t keeping their duty of care. Grooms were told before the show started that if they \030so much as clenched their fists at each other they would be removed from the show no questions asked\031. After the incident Olivia told producer either Dom had to be removed or Olivia would leave, big bosses told her nothing would be happening re: Dom being removed. \n\nOlivia says she is such a wuss when it comes to authority figures, production knew this and belittled her feelings in order to keep her on the show, said they had had worse on the show, wasn\031t that big a deal.\n\nMia asks if Olivia has watched the show UnReal but Mia can\031t remember the name of the show. Olivia says she has seen clips from it.\n\nThought going into it that she wouldn\031t get herself into any drama or trouble, she\031s usually the teachers pet. She just wanted to show up, meet a nice guy, have some laughs and go home\n\nMia asks if Olivia has been a victim of frankenbiting, Olivia says yes and no, \030there have been some very controversial things that I have said and I need to take accountability for that, I have a very sharp tongue and no filter\031 but she can see that there is a lot of franken biting, example of them doing this with Jackson in an ad. There was one regarding a \030googling situation\031 where they edited it so it seemed that Olivia was saying that SHE had googled something, then she stops and says she isn\031t allowed to say anything more about that \n\nMia asks if somebody provided Dom\031s photos to her, Olivia says \030from production? No\031. Mia asks \030did somebody suggest for you to go looking for them?\031 Olivia says \030nobody ever did. I can\031t go too much into it but the general scene was I was drinking off camera with a couple of other cast members and my girlfriends back home looked up \030the other person\031, just like googled her and there was all this stuff all over social media platforms and they sent me to social media platforms. Nobody ever accessed Only Fans or paid for it. It was just stuff that was on social media to find and very easy to find.\035 The conversation between Olivia and the other cast members she was drinking with was \034I\031m\nPretty sure we\031re not meant to have that platform, Only Fans and then there was a conversation about was this left up on purpose because we were all meant to have a big social media sweep, I know they did a very thorough job with mine\031. Wondered if this content was purposely left up so that somebody could find it.\n\nMia says \034I know that contractually you have to be careful what you say, but there\031s more to this story isn\031t there?\035 Olivia: \034there is, there is. The storyline makes me look malicious but this information was dropped in my lap. I was really naive and I didn\031t think it was a big deal because it was publicly accessible, didn\031t think it was a secret, didn\031t think I was outing anybody. I just didn\031t think we were supposed to have that platform so I mentioned it to my producer who didn\031t think it was a big deal. And then I was blindsided by production because they were putting words in my mouth and saying I was doing it out of revenge.\035\n\nOlivia says the word revenge is triggering and huge accusation. She worked in a \030sex shop\031 (honey Birdette) so she\031s very supportive of women\031s sexuality. Slut shaming is not her beliefs and against what she has advocated for her whole life. Hard to defend herself because the show has shot down her credibility. The same publications that are accusing her of slut shaming are posting photos of Olivia in lingerie making her look like a hypocrite and she\031s not a hypocrite, that\031s just the way the show has made her look. Mia says this must be infuriating and heartbreaking all at once.\n\nAt the last commitment ceremony after she and Jackson had such a great time at home stay, her mum flew down, she got cranky about not wanting to film in the gym because who wants to be filmed doing a workout but the show made it look like she and Jackson were rocky.\n\nWhen the OF stuff was brought up at the dinner party Olivia didn\031t know that it had got back to producers so she didn\031t know why it was being brought up by the group. \n\nAt the commitment ceremony the experts said she did the OF thing as revenge and that she and Jackson had issues and said she had no empathy and Olivia felt attacked and that this wasn\031t fair. The experts would listen to the producers in their ear piece and then come back and say there were holes in her and Jackson\031s relationship and Olivia couldn\031t speak because she was crying \030gutteral sobs\031 so Jackson had to respond. Other cast members were sticking up for her because it was so hard to watch. Jackson said if there were holes in their relationship well give us advice how to fix it, experts would listen to ear piece and then come back with something else.\n\nMia says \030and I imagine in that situation everything feels like a trap. If you had got up and walked out they could have said whatever they wanted to, they could dress up anything you did to suit their narrative\031\n\nAlessandra told her for five min straight why Olivia didn\031t have empathy so Olivia responded \030ok I have no empathy\031 and then they edited that to make Olivia look bad and that lead to people online comparing her to Ted Bundy, psychologist writing online trying to diagnose her\n\nMia asks if they have access to any psychologist etc through the show, Olivia says they have access to a lovely lady who is employed by the show. Mia says \030she works for them, not to you\031. Olivia says she has always been nice to her and given her good advice.\n\nOlivia says re: \030online trolls\031 where does it switch from rational thinking to just rage\n\nMia says she\031s heard Olivia has deactivated her social media, has received death threats, asks what it\031s like to be in the eye of the storm. Olivia says it\031s trying to get up off the floor at rock bottom and every time somebody messages one of her loved ones something awful it\031s like getting kicked back down. Her friends have deactivated their social media and gone to the police over some messages, Olivia got death threats to her personal phone number, she deleted it so she can\031t go to the police with it. Because she was a driving instructor lots of people had her personal number, not just kids but also parents texting her to call her a pig and that she\031s a delusional twat, they\031re mortified that they let her teach their kids how to drive changed her number. Former driving students going on tik tok saying Olivia was a trouble maker, says that\031s so far from the truth and just people looking for their 15 min of fame. Brother\031s exbf sent her a kiss ass msg when he found out she was going on MAFS, then when she wasn\031t popular on there he started making tik toks about his relationship with her brother and how if you thought Olivia was bad her brother was worse. \n\nMia says the reason she wanted to speak to Olivia wasn\031t to get her side of the story (although she thinks the context is really important) but to remind people that the contestants on reality TV are humans.\n\nOlivia says she knows she not perfect, Mia interrupts \034but you\031re not Putin, or Harvey Winestein or Ted Bundy.\035\n\nMia asks if Olivia wishes she had never gone on the show, Olivia says she\031s very grateful to the show because it gave her Jackson and some good girlfriends but she wishes she had done a lot of things differently and that she had listened to her intuition and left the show when she no longer felt safe in that environment.\n\nWhat would Olivia say to anyone considering on going on the show in the future - \034Do not do it! Run!\035\n\nMia asks how she feels about the future, Olivia says she knows she has a very bright future, she has a real wedding and babies hopefully soon to look forward to, she knows she will find herself in a fantastic career whether that is teaching or not, teaching is a hard dream to let go of but if she has to she will be ok and find something else. She says she knows she will get through the eye of the storm and have a very happy private life far away from reality TV\n\nOlivia says she knew when it first started airing and she was shown to look like a sweetheart she felt like they were building her character up to tear her down and she knew that from the beginning and that the sweetheart edit at the start was a set up to destroy her credibility. That wasn\031t fair because she never pretended to be perfect at the start.\n\nMia ends by saying she hopes this has opened our eyes to what it\031s like to be a contestant on reality TV.
## 791 Long post ahead! \n\nI really had to think a long while before I could form my question because everything feels complicated. Before I go on, I must have a disclaimer that my mother is not a terrible mother, I have never felt like I wasn't protected under her wings or that I couldn't turn to her if I was having troubles in my life. She made many sacrifices to put the family ahead and I am grateful for that.\n\nNow to the story, my mother is pretty opiniated about a lot of things and unfortunately most of the time I disagree with her due to personal reasons. It ranges from things like not using a microwave oven, putting your phone far away from your head when you sleep, not walking about with wet hair after shower to things that are considered 'pantang' or taboo like getting a tattoo, going home late at night (even though I freaking had to work till late and cab is expensive) and all the traditions that some of us are probably familiar with.\n\nI would count it as a blessing that she does not stay with me as she's based in Malaysia so after living with her rules for about 20 years I've shifted here and started to slowly do things that I like. \n\nThus, if I happen to go against her restrictions, she takes it personally because she thinks I did it solely to piss her off. Which is not true, it just so happens that she puts so many restrictions in life that its impossible to not hit something at some point or another.\n\nThere are many many examples over the years that usually ended up in us having an argument and her giving me the radio silence for a few months before talking to me again. Initially, I just let it slide even if I don't concede to it, cause she's entitled to her own opinion and I think we can still have a r/s with our differences. But she always grabs onto the issue and refuse to let go till she says her piece (I am arrogant, I think I know everything, why can't I just listen for once) and even going to the extent of making me promise I "won't do this again". \n\nAfter some time I've had enough, after I got married and got my own place, I started digging my foot down on certain things. She was furious that I got my first tattoo but it was my plan to eventually get a bigger one so when I did, I sent her a text to inform her that I like it and I hope she can respect that I can make my own decision. We were already on uneasy grounds because few months prior to me moving out, she threw a huge fuss about finding an auspicious date etc but it was during the freaking pandemic, my S/O and I were really looking forward to having our own space after months of delay on our house. I honestly couldn't care less when I move in and I fail to see why we need to inconvenience our lives even more so in the current situation. So we moved in and that was the starting of this whole shaking ground we're on. I had to tell her that no I might have own beliefs and it might not reflect the same as hers.\n\nThat did not go down well. I got off the phone feeling hurt cause she made it sound like I am a disappointment for her that I turned out like that.\n\nBut as you know after reading that chunk of text above, she called me one fine day and suddenly everything was fine again. Like I said, I love her and when she asked if she could crash in my place if she comes down to SG (I think I was going to be away that time) and offered to compensate me, I refused and told her to come and stay without worrying.\n\nA few days later I remembered that I do not have a kettle at home and that I lack a flask to store hot water. The reason being that I use a hot water dispenser (it is my favourite appliance in the kitchen). Problem is, she was abhorrent against using that because according to her it causes health issue. She added a request that I stopped using it. Something in me snapped and I flat out told her no, I will not stop using it, I love that thing because it's so convenient and if she has an issue she can bring her own kettle and flask.\n\nYou can probably guess what's her reply. In short she basically said she won't need to come and stay at my place anymore and I'm free to do whatever I want. \n\nI know she didn't mean it and she's pissed at me again but I am so done with this hot and cold cycle. I am genuinely not trying to find an argument with her but I don't know how else to deal with this. It is not like in western culture where you can just cut off contact, it's just not acceptable in my family to do it even though everyone knew how difficult she can be.\n\nIs this something many of you experience and are rebelling against? How can I tell her once and for all that if she's going to throw another tantrum at me, this is the last time it will happen?\n\n\n***\n\nEDIT: Thank you so much for everyone's input and perspective. It really helped a lot, I was initially wary of putting this online because I think in our culture there's still a sense of obligation to follow our parents wishes, even if they might not be very good decisions, and that setting this kind of boundaries is something new to both my mom and I. After all, she likes to remind me that she still listens to my grandma even at her age.\n\nAdditional context, I'm a female and yes, there are different expectations from her when it comes to my brother and I, mostly for safety reasons while I was growing up in Malaysia. As you can see that's probably why I was always clashing with her more than my brother, even after I moved over to Singapore. And I left this out in the original post, but I am at least happy to say she has never tried to interfere with my marriage. My husband is very aware that she doesn't seem to think too highly of him but she at least knew not to overstep her boundaries in that matter, aside from the occasional remarks about him, which I sometimes nicely point out saying that my marriage, fortunately, isn't like hers. Not to put salt on wound but to remind her that my choice of spouse and thus consequence after, is mine alone. \n\nShe hasn't had a chance to visit my place but I am prepared to accept there will be tons of comments about where I place certain things, my colour schemes, the lack of certain cookery when she comes by. I think I'm starting to realize that because I listened and followed her rules when I was younger, it was probably hard for her to adjust when I decided not to anymore. It can be difficult to reason with her even when she's calm as she just tend to brush the conversation away but I'm still trying! I am aware of her flaws but also am aware that she (like many of you pointed out) is trying her best and is advising me according to her own experience.\n\nFinal point! I sent her a text yesterday and acknowledged her concern but told her that I have researched carefully on it before deciding to get the hot water dispenser and she at least deign to reply with a thumbs up emoticon. She probably doesn't want to talk about it but I like to think that she at least appreciates my effort to reach out to her nicely.
## 801 Hey everyone, I was hoping I could seek the collective wisdom of the group. My girlfriend (soon to be fiancée but shhh don't tell her!) is going to be off on her PGY1 in a couple months. While she is overjoyed to be starting her residency, she is feeling a bit anxious about being a couple of States away from eachother. \n\nWe're not worried about the distance hurting our relationship, we just know it will suck from a - only getting to see eachother once every 6ish weeks or so standpoint. \n\nSo I guess what I'm asking for are any tips/tricks/gifts, or advice that any of you found to be helpful dealing with distance and homesickness. \n\nI joined this sub because I wanted to gain more insight into her life and to be as supportive of her and her career as I could be. Just lurking on this sub alone has ready helped immensely. Thank you all!\n\n....\n\nEdit: Wow everyone I am completely blown away by your responses. Thank you so much! With her rotations we've been 3-8 hours apart for almost a year, so we've got some experience with LDR, however her residency will be nearly 16 hours. That being said we are fully committed to making this work! \n\nWhile I know there will be good days and plenty of bad days, I'm not very worried about the distance hurting our relationship, I just want to be as loving and supportive of her as I can be while she working her butt off a plane ride away.\n\nSome plans so far based on fantastic suggestions and other ideas I've had.\n\n- Continue to prioritize communication (text, call, video chat, hand written letters)\n- Cook meals "together" via video chat\n- When visiting her I will hide notes, letters, and small presents around her apartment for her to randomly stumble upon. I will not tell her that I am doing this. I want them to be complete surprises!\n- Make plans ahead of time for how we will spend our time together; while still leaving space for just relaxing and enjoying eachother's company or going with the flow\n- Virtual Date Nights; Watching Netflix, eating meals, playing games, etc "together"\n- Have an endgame in sight and talk about it!\n- Surprise her with a secret visit!\n- Surprise her every now and then by ordering her favorite meals for delivery! \n- Surprise her with flowers! (She absolutely loved flowers)\n- After saying goodnight, leave the call going so that we can sleep "together"\n- Continue lurking on r/pharmacy to find cool pharmacological news/facts to share with her (The "What did you learn last week" thread has been a gold mine for this!) \n- Search for Residency help books (Saw one post the other week about a book some PGY-1/2s really found beneficial to read)\n- Thank the good people of Reddit for their input! I figured many of you would be able to relate or had first hand experience. Thank you!
## 811 [Part One](https://redd.it/ttqhaj)\n\n**** \n\n\n**You find yourself in a darkened room. From somewhere close by, the rhythmic drip-drop of water echoes. To the West, you can feel the soft caress of cold, salt-laden air. You cannot see enough in the black to know which way is which, and you don\031t remember how you got there, but you do feel an abiding conviction that you cannot safely remain there for much longer. What do you do?**\n\n*Light my torch*\n\n**You have no torch.** \n\n*Walk forward*\n\n**You walk North several steps before running into a wooden surface. What do you do?**\n\n*Inspect surface*\n\n**You inspect the wooden surface. It appears to be a door, but you cannot feel a latch or a lock, nor any other way to open it. What do you do?**\n\n*Inspect door*\n\n**You run your hands back over the door, and you do discover something that you didn\031t notice before. At first you think it might be a handle, but it is moving, and then biting, and it\031s hard to tell in the dark, but it feels as though you\031ve grasped a fat, slimy centipede. The creature has now wrapped about your wrist and is biting you repeatedly. Already your hand and arm are feeling tight with pain. What do you do?**\n\n*Throw off the fucking centipede*\n\n**You sling your arm frantically while raking with the other hand. After several attempts and a few more bites, you managed to fling your attacker into the dark. Its poisons are already in you now, and you feel your head swim as colors pool behind your eyes, making the darkness alive with light and hue. What do you do?**\n\n*Go backward, then west.*\n\n**You step back South and then turn toward the breeze you felt earlier. Moving closer, you feel a large crack in the stone wall there. What do you do?**\n\n*Explore crack in wall.*\n\n**The crack it too small for you to fit through, but the wall does seem weak here. It might be possible to push more of the loose stones aside and slide through. What do you do?**\n\n*Break wall.*\n\n**You need to express an action, not a result.**\n\n*Kick wall as hard as I can*\n\n**You kick the wall with all your might, and the stones give way quickly\024quicker than you expected. Carried by your kick\031s momentum, you tumble through the enlarged gap and find yourself falling out into the night air. Falling, falling, until you hit the icy shock of the black ocean waters below. What do you do?**\n\n**** \n\nWhat you just read was the initial few turns after I clicked the title screen on *The Return to Malorina*. I admit to being a bit disappointed at first. Was this really just some indie dev\031s weak attempt at making a new text adventure decades after the gaming world had largely passed them by? I mean not that nostalgia and reading games don\031t have their place, but come on. Why the weird package and mystery for this?\n\nBut then I started playing, and to my surprise, I quickly got into it. When I got bit by the centipede, I actually felt terror and disgust so strong I started imagining my arm was really hurting. And when I fell into the dark ocean, there was an oddly scary moment when I felt like I couldn\031t breathe. In a world with 4k graphics and HDR, it\031s easy to discount how powerful and evocative the written word can still be, especially when what you\031re reading is well-done.\n\nBecause that\031s the other thing I was starting to notice. There was a complexity to the syntax here that went way beyond just triggering a simple phrase or static room description when you did an action or moved to a spot. An early example is when I moved back to my starting position before heading West. In many games, it would have just popped back up a static description of that tile location, likely the same description that begins this part of the article. Instead, it not only acknowledges that I\031m returning there from the North, but it is able to take my compound command to \034go backward, then west\035 and incorporate it all into the game\031s response. That\031s another level of complexity and detail to be sure, but the really impressive part is that this is done pretty seamlessly. Instead of saying \034You go South and then West\035 where the syntax is really just linking two very basic movement descriptors (going South and then going West), it says \034You step back South and then turn toward the breeze you felt earlier&\035 Again, it\031s not that it isn\031t possible to have scripts to account for a variety of inputs and have the game use them to stitch together responses that don\031t sound artificial, but seeing it in what I assume is a smaller game by an indie studio is still very neat, and that level of effort and immersion definitely caught my attention as I played on.\n\nMy character managed to swim to shore, narrowly avoiding a pursuing eel with a kick before climbing onto a rocky beach and heading for the nearby lights of a local village. I knew from looking around that I\031d fallen into the ocean from a tower, but I wasn\031t sure what the tower was or why I was there. So heading into the town, my plan was to play it safe. Avoid people at first when I could, look around for things to steal, and see if I could get a better idea of what exactly was going on in this world.\n\nAnd then someone stopped me and asked me why I was wet.\n\nAgain I was impressed by the game\031s design. If this was a modern RPG, something like that wouldn\031t be that impressive, but for something&and that\031s when I realized what I was doing. I was giving the game too much credit, like it was some classic game ahead of its time, when most likely this had been made in the last couple of years. It didn\031t mean I should be wowed by every feature just because the creators had stuck to this ultra-retro vibe.\n\nArmed with my newfound perspective and critical eye, I started talking to this woman who had stopped me. It was strange at first. Most modern games either give your character a few static choices on how to talk to NPCs or they don\031t have your character talk at all. This&was not that. I could say whatever I wanted to, of course, but I assumed I still had a limited number of options or keywords that would get an actual response. For instance, the woman might give me new information if I used the word \034tower\035, but probably not if I typed \034lasagna\035.\n\nSo, being a curious asshole, I typed \034I\031m wet from working in the underwater lasagna mines of Qubia\035. Let\031s see what it does with that, I thought with a smirk. The response was immediate.\n\n**The woman before you raises an eyebrow. \034I see you either intend to mock me or are addled. I do not know of this \030Qubia\031 place you claim to hail from, but I do know that lasagna is easier found in an oven than the murk of some sea cave. So which is it? Are you foolish or simply a fool?\035**\n\nOoookay. So yeah. I think you can see from this why I was kind of amazed by this point. Not only is the game appearing to understand the nonsense I wrote, but it is analyzing it and responding point by point in a way that is realistic, at least in a \034fantasy game lingo\035 kind of way. I won\031t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say I spent the next few minutes trying different things with different people, and the responses only got more impressive. The NPCs would say things that not only accurately responded to my increasingly complex statements, but they would refer back to *prior statements and interactions they has observed me have with other NPCs*. And I had to swap between different people, because most of them would eventually get fed up with my nonsense and walk off or go back to what they were doing. The level of complexity I was seeing was incredible, but it was also incredibly frustrating.\n\nBecause I couldn\031t see the seams.\n\nWhen you\031re a critic, part of your job is to be able to recognize and compartmentalize the different aspects of the thing you\031re critiquing. You need to be able to articulate *why* you like or dislike something, and you need to be able to break down its parts and assess those things individually. Tell your audience what\031s good, what\031s bad, etc. In a movie it might be the acting, the writing and the cinematography. In a book maybe it\031s the use of language, the creativity of the plot, and the quality of the dialogue used.\n\nIn video games, I call it finding the seams. Sure, I\031m looking at graphics and sound. Controls and game systems design, bugs and how fun it is. But more than most things, a video game is trying to sell you a lie. You don\031t watch a movie or read a book really thinking you\031re one of the characters. But in games, the potential for suspending your disbelief is way higher. You have agency. Stakes. And choices can exist that aren't possible in most other media without them becoming a form of game themselves.\n\nBut most of those choices are bullshit, right? They are fake or very shallow. They are lipstick put on a pig, and that little porker is the fact that you don\031t really have any choices that matter in most games. You may have a few small things you can affect, but the core experience is on rails and very confined. You\031re a prisoner in a very small box, and you\031re given the illusion of choice for the sake of the lie. The lie being, of course, that this isn\031t a game, it\031s a real world. And this isn\031t a character you\031re playing. It\031s you.\n\nHow well these lies are told are part of the difference between a bad, a good, and a great game. Sure, there are plenty of great games without any story or dialogue or role-playing, but that\031s becoming less popular as gaming grows as a hobby and the technology moves from creating distractions to creating immersion to creating&what? A text-based game with such realistic AI that I couldn\031t trick it into showing me the seams where the admittedly sparse front-end was stitched to the digital machinery that made this game world turn and the puppets dance?\n\nIt was frustrating, but also increasingly exciting. Maybe for all its bare-bones presentation\024just text, no sound, no pictures, etc\024maybe this game was actually something quite special. Something deserving an actual playthrough rather than me just trying to break it so I could feel superior in some way.\n\nSo I stopped acting like a crazy person and started responding to people like I would if I was really in that town. It was still a couple of hours before dawn, but a market was still open and people came and went. I found out more about where I was, and what the tower was. This led me to find a tavern, which I passed out in front of, because apparently I\031d forgotten to get help for the centipede venom. When I woke up, three days had passed and I found myself in the home of the first woman I\031d talked to. She was sitting next to me, applying an ointment to my bite wounds, and when I stirred enough for her to notice, she apologized for being rude at our first encounter. If she\031d realized I was delirious from venom, she never would have taken afront at my odd comments about lasagna and other things.\n\nWhat the fuck is this game?\n\nIt was at this point that another idea occurred to me. Maybe this wasn\031t clever software at all. Maybe this was an MMO where people played NPCs or at least a game with an online component that had players or people working for the game company controlling NPC dialogue some of the time. I had no how idea how that could work or be affordable if you had more than a handful of people playing your game at once, but that didn\031t stop me from killing my laptop\031s wifi to see if it stopped the game from working or at least made a difference in how it responded.\n\nIt didn\031t. Not only that, but it continued to get more complex and interesting as I went. More than twelve hours went by IRL before I forced myself to take a break. By that point I had gotten a job working for a blacksmith in the town and had made friends with a local monk. The monk and the woman who had saved me (her name was Liana) were talking about going into the local woods to search for a young boy that had gone missing, and I was considering joining them while also worrying about attracting the attention of the lords that lived in the local tower I had escaped from. I still wasn\031t sure why I\031d been there, and I knew that staying so close by without answers was risky, but I also was starting to develop real relationships with&\n\nOkay, I know how nerdy this sounds. Maybe even insincere. All I can tell you is&unless you play it, you won\031t understand. And I\031m pausing Part Two here to go back into the game. There\031s a harvest festival tonight.\n\n**** \n\nBack after another two days. Been playing almost non-stop since I paused writing this part of the review two days ago, though I have made a point of getting sleep and eating reasonable amounts. But it\031s getting harder to focus on anything else, and taking time away to write is hard. If it wasn\031t for how I\031m feeling right now, I don\031t know that I\031d have stopped even for the few minutes it takes to write this.\n\nSo how am I feeling? Confused. Confused and maybe a little spooked. I don\031t understand what this game really is or how it\031s possible, but I know it\031s changing. Some of it is in more obvious ways. There started being sound yesterday. It was subtle at first, and for a minute I wondered if it was my imagination. But no, there are full, very high quality sounds effects everywhere now. \n\nAnd the feel of things have started to change too. I don\031t really notice the writing itself anymore--I\031ve gotten so used to seeing that world through language that it\031s no longer a barrier. But that world continues to get darker and more realistic. More complex. My friends are currently trying to talk me into killing a man I\031ve never met. I trust them, but I still worry it\031s the wrong choice despite all their assurances that it\031s the only way to keep our town safe.\n\nMy hands are trembling slightly as I write this. I know it sounds silly, but I\031m afraid of what will happen if I kill this man. Of what kind of person I\031ll become. It\031s stupid, because I know it\031s still just a game, with boundaries and consequences that don\031t extend into the real world. I tell myself that, and for the last few hours its helped me keep a handle on my excitement and anxiety\024that small, steady reminder that, miraculous as it may be, *The Return to Malorina* is still just a game.\n\nBut then someone knocked at my door.\n\nIt happened in the game. I was getting dressed to go out and hunt with Liana\024I knew she\031d eventually steer the topic back to the assassination of Lord Naril\024She\031s already crafted a ring concealing a poison-tipped needle, after all. But my hope was that I could get some time to just enjoy myself and clear my head beforehand. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door of my room above the tavern.\n\nSimultaneously, I heard someone knock on the door to my apartment. \n\nI jumped, my head swimming for a moment at the unreality of hearing the sound both from my laptop speakers and coming from the IRL hall fifty feet away. I felt pulled in two directions\024and that sense of vertigo continued as I got up and walked to the front door. I looked out the peephole, but I didn\031t see anything. Opening the door, I looked down as a small brown envelope made of rough paper fell inward from where it had been propped. Glancing down both sides of the empty hallway, I bent down and picked up the envelope gingerly, feeling the weight of something shift inside.\n\nWhen I shut the door back, my heart was already pounding. Not because of anything that was written on the package\024the skin of the paper was clean of any markings. But because, impossible as it was, some part of me already knew what I\031d find inside.\n\nIt was a silver ring, chased with a filigree of gold fashioned into a winding serpent. On the side of the band was the snake\031s head, and based on my earlier conversations with Liana, I knew to press and slide the head up to open its mouth slightly.\n\nJust enough to reveal a single, needle-like fang.\n\n[What the fuck is this game?](https://redd.it/9ndww5)\n\n****\n\n[Part Three](https://redd.it/tz7uxd)
## 821 I read about them all the time in here so I thought I'd add mine to the list! I was watching my landlady's/housemates cat for the weekend while she was away at the beach (3 hours drive away from home). This cat's getting up there in age and she's doing the yowling thing that many cats do when they're older and it's something that wakes me up quite frequently. Well, a few mornings ago while my landlady was away, I hear the yowling outside my door. I'm fully awake, mind you, when I hear quiet talking and it sounds just like my landlady like she's talking to the cat and walking up and down the hallway as she does often when she'd doing things around the house. Then I clearly hear her pour cat food into her bowl and the cat becomes quiet so I figure she's eating. So I'm thinking, hm, I guess my landlady came back early for some reason? Only to find out she hadn't after I texted her about it later on to ask if she also gave her cat her meds while she was here. Of course, she was confused and said that she's still pretty far away from home and hasn't been back yet. She confirmed with the only other two people it could have been (her son and his girlfriend) and they said they were never here either. \n\nIt was interesting because I never heard the door open or close. I never heard a car arrive, and that didn't occur to me until later. But I distinctly remember hearing everything else. I did have the weirdest week last week so this just topped it off with the weirdness.
## 831 My husband works from home but he always makes sure attends team meetings in person if he has to. It was never a concern of mine when he would go out to happy hour with his team after in person meetings, just as long as we checked in on each other. We\031ve also always been happy to communicate in this style. It\031s never been an issue if I call and check in. This time was different. He didn\031t bring his phone with him to his happy hour by mistake and was gone from 2:00 pm to 2:00 am. I was worried since we had dinner reservations and I couldn\031t get a hold of him but my gut kept telling me something was off. He came home drunk, angry and even slept in another room which was odd. He was mad at me for calling and texting? A few days later, I check his phone and found out he was making out with a coworker. He even continued to text her after he arrived home? Says he only was texting her because he was angry at me. Told him let\031s work through it. They still&