[RedditExtractoR] Collecter des données sur reddit
Terminé
Dernière mise à jour: 2022-04-08
Ressources
CRAN: https://cran.r-project.org/web/packages/RedditExtractoR/index.html
Tuto: https://www.rpubs.com/mswofford/redditAPI
R documentation: https://www.rdocumentation.org/packages/RedditExtractoR/versions/2.1.5
Introduction
Reddit est un réseau social où il est possible de collecter des données via une API. Cette API ne demande pas d’avoir un compte.
Librarie
Librairie pour reddit
library(RedditExtractoR)## Warning: le package 'RedditExtractoR' a été compilé avec la version R 4.1.3Fonctions
La librairie possède une série de fonctions assez utiles pour collecter des données.
Liste des fonctions
Dans cette librairie, il y a 4 fonctions que nous allons présenter.
# Permet de voir toutes les fonctions d'un package
ls("package:RedditExtractoR")## [1] "find_subreddits" "find_thread_urls" "get_thread_content"
## [4] "get_user_content"find_thread_urls()
Cette première fonction permet d’obtenir les liens de tous les fils qui ont parlé d’un terme spécifique. Par exemple nous pouvons récupérer les liens de discussions qui mentionnent le terme “text mining” dans la semaine:
# Mise à jour en date du 08.04.2022
# Réccupéraion des liens
links_text_minging <-
find_thread_urls(keywords = "text_mining",
period = "week")## parsing URLs on page 1...
## parsing URLs on page 2...
## parsing URLs on page 3...# Visualisation des liens
links_text_minging## date_utc
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! 2022-04-06
## Well this really sucks 2022-04-01
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? 2022-04-05
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. 2022-04-01
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} 2022-04-03
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D 2022-04-07
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? 2022-04-06
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] 2022-04-05
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? 2022-04-08
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. 2022-04-04
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere 2022-04-04
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? 2022-04-06
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone 2022-04-06
## Another best friend dilemma 2022-04-04
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 2022-04-01
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship 2022-04-07
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction 2022-04-05
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? 2022-04-01
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? 2022-04-05
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! 2022-04-06
## OG from My Friend's DM 2022-04-02
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? 2022-04-02
## Finally using this flair 2022-04-04
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? 2022-04-01
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU 2022-04-06
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place 2022-04-02
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? 2022-04-01
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? 2022-04-03
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion 2022-04-05
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course 2022-04-04
## let's make some friends :) 2022-04-06
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 2022-04-04
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING 2022-04-05
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? 2022-04-04
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. 2022-04-08
## My ex may have outed me to my school 2022-04-07
## Every memory - deleted 2022-04-08
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. 2022-04-05
## a letter to you& 2022-04-04
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. 2022-04-08
## I've been lying to everyone in my life 2022-04-02
## Scrapyard Mines 2022-04-01
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] 2022-04-05
## How to back out as MOH/guest? 2022-04-06
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? 2022-04-06
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## timestamp
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! 1649205417
## Well this really sucks 1648851350
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? 1649189912
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. 1648839181
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} 1648957344
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D 1649332023
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? 1649270425
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] 1649122066
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? 1649404267
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. 1649065663
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere 1649071707
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? 1649247246
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone 1649205167
## Another best friend dilemma 1649052287
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 1648848906
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship 1649292207
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction 1649189019
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? 1648836775
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? 1649169799
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! 1649280843
## OG from My Friend's DM 1648886908
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? 1648921910
## Finally using this flair 1649100249
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? 1648787507
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU 1649253455
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place 1648898726
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? 1648787069
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? 1648955049
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion 1649194873
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course 1649041863
## let's make some friends :) 1649287518
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 1649102713
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING 1649139765
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? 1649101752
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. 1649380051
## My ex may have outed me to my school 1649338583
## Every memory - deleted 1649392957
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. 1649132720
## a letter to you& 1649044521
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. 1649377620
## I've been lying to everyone in my life 1648880226
## Scrapyard Mines 1648836000
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] 1649197418
## How to back out as MOH/guest? 1649215567
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? 1649237861
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## title
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2!
## Well this really sucks Well this really sucks
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it?
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this.
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da}
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope?
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] Chaos TV! [Part 4]
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki?
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death.
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"?
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone
## Another best friend dilemma Another best friend dilemma
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 Factorio Community Map - April 2022
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship entitled parent tries to destroy friendship
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both?
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio?
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful! As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful!
## OG from My Friend's DM OG from My Friend's DM
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting?
## Finally using this flair Finally using this flair
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? Get a drink with someone between friend and date?
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean?
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner?
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion I have a question for flat earthers about religion
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course UNSC Ships, A Crash Course
## let's make some friends :) let's make some friends :)
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? butterflies in stomach arent real right!?
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope.
## My ex may have outed me to my school My ex may have outed me to my school
## Every memory - deleted Every memory - deleted
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis.
## a letter to you& a letter to you&
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'.
## I've been lying to everyone in my life I've been lying to everyone in my life
## Scrapyard Mines Scrapyard Mines
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere]
## How to back out as MOH/guest? How to back out as MOH/guest?
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away?
## 1 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90DF Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 2 Did I do the right thing?
## 3 I am 24 years old, live in Rural NZ and make $53,000 NZD a year... and this week I got out of COVID-19 Isolation
## 4 I'm admitting that I am a loser and it's all my fault.
## 5 I have personally worked with over two dozen men since beginning my separation\\divorce. The patterns are strikingly similar. (some observations and conclusions)
## 6 The Cost of Eternity - Part 3/8
## 7 Attention Detectives. In order to continue posting on this sub about our beloved detective, you must learn the entire lore of the 2nd greatest detective of all time, Sherlock Holmes. Some of the stories will be available as posts, please read through them, there will be a test later.
## 8 I Miss My First (And Possibly Only True) Girlfriend.
## 9 Update #37: Stinger\031s Debut | New Ship Modules | New Story Content | New Enemy Ships | Overhauled Crafting and Ship Devices | Rebalanced XP plus Difficulty Settings | WIP Localization
## 10 Journey of 2nd Gold Cap
## 11 My mormon neighbor is bringing his crew over tomorrow for a "casual visit" after months of harassing us to do so.
## 12 Now I understand why I was unsuccessful with women - it all started with my mom
## 13 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90DF Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 14 Stranger asked me to talk to her son
## 15 It Hates
## 16 Entitled mother makes me feel bad about anniversary
## 17 My (25f) roommate(28f) is delusional
## 18 Can't believe it took place for me to find this sub
## 19 The tunnels
## 20 should I give my friend/nanny another chance?
## 21 was so close to become a MLM scapegoat!
## 22 Tyranny of Phandelver "special editions" now available
## 23 Ask Me: What Inspired That Abyss Creature?
## 24 A Visitor to the Future - 96 - Geared Up, Good to Go
## 25 Ghosted by LO
## 26 Getting left alone at a concert after requesting that I not be - am I overreacting?
## 27 I just need to talk about Dan.
## 28 My Bigfoot encounter
## 29 MBA managers are driving down wages
## 30 My Friend and I Kept Seeing the Same Girl Every Day At Work (Part 1)
## 31 Landlord gossiping about me?
## 32 Introducing... Toggle Macros!
## 33 Essay: HBP and the canon Harmony date that didn\031t quite happen (Part 2)
## 34 Help.. I think I\031m losing feelings for my girlfriend after an argument(jealousy), what do I do?
## 35 Narcissists will always narcissist
## 36 How and why did you breakup with your ex ?
## 37 The most avoidant {da} I\031ve ever been
## 38 DD on HYMC
## 39 Potential plan of our favorite green gal?
## 40 Do you know what poison tastes like?
## 41 Categorized list of fixes for the patch targeted April 11th
## 42 Alien abductions I think I got it figured out because of a Professor.
## 43 URGENT TO DO/LIVE UPDATES APRIL 2
## 44 Received an "apology" email from JN father. Responded and foolishly had hope but reconfirmed why JN is the way to go. Been interacting more with siblings and am invited to SIL's baby shower. Don't know what to do.
## 45 Asked her out, she said yes and left me on seen immediately after, what do now?
## 46 I'm working through The Great Hunt right now. I enjoy the story, but the stupidity of the characters is overwhelming and completely ruining the book for me.
## 47 Just pass them anyway
## 48 Starting IVF - Feeling Hopeless + Complete Meltdown
## 49 Is anyone happy with their CPAP?
## 50 An idea I had recently: Random Acts of Affirmation
## 51 The (very gay) story of how I started dating my girlfriend
## 52 A few months ago i got a random text from a girl on reddit and it made me question my sexuality
## 53 Rate my Dreadnought
## 54 Did anyone marry their spouse in-game bc they reminded them of someone they knew IRL?
## 55 Crying at night
## 56 Philex "delays" SRO because... "market volatility" (T:Apr5)
## 57 After 4 years with no solutions, I hacked my PE. Here\031s how
## 58 I met a girl who said she heard dead people whispering to her, telling her to join them. Now I\031m hearing them too.
## 59 ELI5: What\031s happening in Pakistan right now?
## 60 ALIEN: EDEN2 Teaser
## 61 AITA for setting my wedding date the day after my friend's birthday
## 62 I finally finished Xenoblade Chronicles X after 6 years.
## 63 My boyfriend has ADHD, and I do not.
## 64 Just got diagnosed and feel like a fake what is your hypomania like
## 65 A GIRL WANTS TO TALK TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO
## 66 Theory: The Entire Plot of Omori was much more revolved around a very different relationship between Sunny and Mari during development
## 67 Met her friends 72 hours after meeting her - yikes
## 68 Major Suggestion for a Quality of Life Item
## 69 crush on co worker [crushes]
## 70 Truce between r/math and r/transplace?
## 71 Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death.
## 72 Do you know what poison tastes like?
## 73 My ex filed a complaint against me, and my mom and I are going through severe trauma because of it
## 74 I Am Happy To Be Alive After Thoughts Of Suicide
## 75 I am angry with myself and how stuck I feel. None of my hard work ever pays off.
## 76 The list of Global Beermoney opportunities (+200!) - updated April 2022
## 77 Men are basically predators: Recap of 90 Day Fiancé, Before the 90 Days S05E16 AND Tell-All Part 1
## 78 I re-laid-out the playbooks for my home game
## 79 AITA for asking why my friend is texting my girlfriend?
## 80 In Word and Deed
## 81 22 Order Lost
## 82 AITA for giving my daughter a phone?
## 83 AITA for telling my mom I have a date on my day off?
## 84 The Legacy of Keroauc
## 85 Update! I threw a low blow at my wife, and now she's barely talking to me. Please help!
## 86 Writing, a character telling a sub story. How do I format that properly?
## 87 Birthday update and unresolved feelings.
## 88 Any Tips on dealing with Egotistical Clinical Instructor?
## 89 They got me -- a slightly different modus operandi than what I've read here
## 90 The rant about my old Boomerville...decades of gaslighting, lying, laziness, political corruption and ableism for the sake of car-centric culture
## 91 [Serious] My feelings and about this title and what it brought
## 92 It just isnt the same
## 93 HDMI or VGA
## 94 arrested... should have seen it coming.
## 95 i\031m in love with my friend
## 96 A reminder to not look at their social media
## 97 Feeling pressurised about marriage, conflict with parents over requirements for future spouse
## 98 Going to report my employer for unpaid wages
## 99 How I Gained Magic
## 100 AITA for not wanting to invite my brother to my wedding
## 110 My boss told me I was fired as soon as I got to work, laughed and walked off.
## 210 LPT It's okay to always be the one to initiate contact with a friend. Just because they don't reach out to you first doesn't mean they don't like you or want to hang out with you.
## 310 [r/deadbedrooms] I'm severely panicking that I've ruined my life
## 410 AITA for telling my friend she can't stay at mine?
## 510 Ryan Cohen, Killer of the Shorts >s: Tesla + Overstock = GME MOASS
## 610 AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral?
## 710 I found out I had a child when CPS contacted me because her mother was losing custody. Now what?
## 810 AITA For Telling My Mother I Am Not Proud Of Her Job As Nurse?
## 910 OOP is 'fired' via an April Fool's joke, decides to quit for real.
## 101 "My[32M] fiancé[29F] got breast enhancement surgery and I am no longer attracted to her." + update
## 111 Reported my teacher
## 121 [AITA] OP shows up to her cousin's wedding wearing an almost identical dress as the soon-to-be bride
## 131 My brother (33M) needs a new guardian, I want it, my mother (61F) is fighting me
## 141 Bloons TD 6 v31.0 - Update Preview! upcoming v31.0
## 151 AITA for choosing to comfort my best friend over my fiancée?
## 161 OOP is concerned for well-being of friend\031s daughter, friend tries to pawn off daughter on to OOP, OOP refuses, then friend tries to pawn off daughter on her sister
## 171 Question about Mom Friends being too Mothering: BOUNDARIES SCHOOL is in session.
## 181 Patch 1.10 & 1.11
## 191 AITA for proving to my friend that I had unsolicited nudes of who they were dating?
## 201 I looked through 130,000+ lines of Javascript so you don't have to
## 211 If he wanted to he would
## 221 My new neighbour thinks she can park anywhere
## 231 The tale of Kevin, the fool.
## 241 My experience with reporting domestic violence to the police.
## 251 Impressions & Games tested after the first 10 days of Steam Deck usage. It is amazing :)
## 261 Just found out my mom is using my name to do online porn on my birthday!
## 271 AITA for not sharing and hiding my prescription pain medication with my mom?
## 281 Avoid these HUGE mistakes when launching on Product Hunt
## 291 My entitled mother made my engagement about herself less than three hours after I got home.
## 301 !2.6 Spoilers! The Chasm Purple Writing Translated
## 311 Due to overwhelming demand...
## 321 Respect goes both ways
## 331 I found a class photo of my boyfriend from 1975 but my boyfriend is 19 years old..
## 341 Graduated, unexpected home birth - I delivered my son myself.
## 351 My Wife Cheated on me..
## 361 I went a little too far to prove my friend was lying
## 371 \034Naught but wood\035 - A subtextual analysis of the hidden story of Gimli the Dwarf
## 381 Is it a red flag that he wants to do the first date at his place
## 391 My stay at a haunted hotel in Downtown Dallas
## 401 I started saying "no" and it feels great.
## 411 Attacks from Celestia and the Calamity of the Moon Sisters; how it finds a place in Teyvat's timeline
## 421 I discovered my largest pet peeve as a parent!!
## 431 We found the missing miner Erge!
## 441 I (32F) told my boyfriend (31M) that his best friend (30M) deserved to be cheated on.
## 451 AITA for not inviting my dad\031s gf + her kids to my birthday dinner?
## 461 MY LIFE IN A WAR ZONE: UPDATES AND THOUGHTS ON BUCHA MASSACRE
## 471 I tested and scored 75 games on Steam Deck!
## 481 I wrote my first unit test today!
## 491 The Yaksha who fought in the Chasm
## 501 Inside the Weird and Wacky World of US College Admissions in China: An International (Chinese) Perspective
## 511 It's been a year since my best friend April fooled our whole school. We're still in quarantine, and the update is 68%.
## 521 Felix Hugo Fraldarius: A Compassionate Take on Autism
## 531 Everything fucking sucks and my roommate is a cherry on top of a shit sundae
## 541 Why I don\031t tell anyone I have ADHD
## 551 My Wife May Have Cheated With My Co-Worker. (Update1)
## 561 AITA for removing my (20f) things from my shared apartment areas, leaving my roommate (21m) with almost nothing?
## 571 My stay at a haunted hotel in Downtown Dallas
## 581 The origins of Fargrave and It's Bearers Revealed. Possibly the First Ever Such Theory Published.
## 591 Fiancé cheated but won\031t admit it after being caught. I\031m absolutely broken.
## 601 OMOMG I DID IT
## 611 Celebrate with me ! I made $270 in 4 days of starting OF as a faceless black creator
## 621 I feel like I'm my nephews Mother
## 631 3 red flags and I think I\031m done now
## 641 Asked if there was room to come up on my salary after an official offer, and found out 4 days later they gave the job to someone else.
## 651 Tips for making and maintaining friends in an MBA
## 661 Be careful out there!
## 671 Literally had it with my husband
## 681 I wish my mom would talk to me like a daughter not a lover.
## 691 [RACE REPORT] THE SPEED PROJECT OG - chasing records through the desert
## 701 Housekeeping Poop UPDATE -long sorry
## 711 What was the last straw that made you leave your job?
## 721 I found a class photo of my boyfriend from 1975 but my boyfriend is 19 years old.. (Part 3)
## 731 My (41F) boyfriend (45M) got drunk and accused me of cheating with his son (23M)
## 741 Omg I am sorry I didn't post here to let you know about my husband!
## 751 SSB: From The Abyss
## 761 AITB for being mad at my friend/roommate for borrowing my car for more than to and from work and telling her she can't use my car anymore despite hers being in the shop?
## 771 I recently screwed up pretty bad with a really cool guy.
## 781 Olivia on Mia Freedman\031s podcast Unfiltered: RECAP
## 791 How do I respectfully manage my controlling mother even though I am no longer living at home?
## 801 Girlfriend PGY1 in 2 months. Need some help
## 811 The Return to Malorina. Part Two.
## 821 Doppelganger experience I had a few day ago
## 831 Husband of 8 years kissed someone else while drunk.
## 841 a strange, new journal
## 851 Please, just use the plans.
## 861 As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. I made this infographic, you can use it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). I hope it helps.
## 871 [RACE REPORT] THE SPEED PROJECT OG - chasing records through the desert
## 881 It\031s a celebration, b*tches
## 891 My Thoughts and Advice from Running Call of the Netherdeep: The Festival of Merit
## 901 Update 9.6 is live! + The Springening + Birthdayz!
## 911 [UPDATE] Every Movie Reference Made by Kanye West (now with the all the songs he has been featuring on)
## 921 EM gets dog I will have to care for
## 931 Birds Before Land? *Long Post. sorry!*
## 941 My wife (29) of four months called the cops on me (29) & my mom, we both got arrested for battery, but the case was dismissed largely due to the texts she sent me beforehand. Some community elders want us to meet now & possibly reconcile...
## 951 France is not botting proof and explaining
## 961 I decided to let NovelAI (an AI text generation tool) generate a prompt with a couple of mine as examples, and I got this:
## 971 Reflection on recycling: plastic is a scam and we are poisoning ourselves.
## 981 Chanel Black and Beige Espadrilles from Rose for my 27 cm feet! Big foot ladies rejoice!
## 991 KOTOR 2 Experience: Droids go boom!
## 1001 AITA for not wanting my fiancés sister apart of anything that has to do with our wedding?
## text
## I'm playing the Final Fantasy games to completion. Here's my take on Final Fantasy 2! TLDR at the end, apologies for the length!\n\nA few months ago I set out on a mission to complete as many Final Fantasy games as I could from start to completion. I completed Final Fantasy 1, [which you can read here](https://www.reddit.com/r/FinalFantasy/comments/qp2y51/im_playing_the_final_fantasy_games_from_115_to/) if you're a glutton for punishment.\n\nUnfortunately, a lot has happened since then but I recently caught covid (I'm ok!) so had a week's downtime to play through Final Fantasy 2! Before I start let me point out that this is the *actual* Final Fantasy 2. As I'm sure most people are aware, the original Final Fantasy 2 and 3 weren't released outside of Japan until the early/mid-2000s, despite being released in Japan in the late 1980s/early 1990s. The Final Fantasy 2 that was released internationally was actually Final Fantasy 4, re-packaged as number 2. Anyway, history lesson aside, here are my views on it.\n\nUgh, this game is so frustrating! Some of the frustration comes through playing it on a broken down PSP that decides it wants to continuously freeze up, some of it comes from the game itself. Obviously, I played it on PSP as this was the version recommended to me. Just like Final Fantasy 1, it's a port of the GBA re-release and includes the Soul of Rebirth added content (please don't expect too much on that, I'll explain in due course).\n\nFF2 is often considered to be the worst of the series so I went in with low expectations, I really, really wanted to dislike it and it's there that the frustrations come to fruition. At times I did hate it, I wasn't having fun, especially in the early game. However, I grew to genuinely love it eventually, quirks and all.\n\nLet's start with how it looks and sounds before I try to unpick how it plays. I have to be honest, I didn't play the NES original as I understand zero Japanese, I'm sure there are emulated versions with fan-made translations but I have a PSP and I'm lazy. I've seen some screenshots and video play of the NES version and it's honestly similar, but improved compared to the first. The PSP version as you'd expect is a massive step up and looks great. I love the pixelesque aesthetic and the maps are a faithful recreation of the originals. The music and sounds are top-notch in the PSP version and although simple, stand up well, even today.\n\nGameplay, here we go, where to start? In the original FF1, you get to pick your party, name them and make up the party however you wish. That's gone in FF2, you have the much more familiar preset party, but even though they're preset you can use the game's unique levelling system to mould the party as you see fit throughout the game. The levelling system is what makes FF2 stand out. Gone are the traditional kill a certain amount of enemies, earn a certain amount of EXP points, get a numbered level and your stats are automatically levelled. There also isn't a customisable stat set per se, it's a weird hybrid mash-up. Essentially the way it works is that the more you use a skill/weapon/spell the better at it you get. Keep getting battered into low health? Your overall HP will rise quicker, keep using the cure spell regularly? You'll have a much higher levelled skill by the end game, fighting a low accuracy enemy who misses a lot? You're gonna get a boost to your evasion stats. It makes more sense when you're playing, but unfortunately, the system is a bit...broken. It's open to exploitation by attacking and healing your own characters when in lower level fights to boost the stats you want to be boosted (I genuinely didn't do this) and can make the game far too easy. All in all though, the stats even out to your particular style of play. I ended up with hard-hitting melee characters with strong heal spells and just *ok* white/dark magic skills.\n\nThe world is a very early example of an open world. Once you're out of the very early stages you're free to go to where you want, provided you can get there. The map felt much bigger than in Final Fantasy 1, but obviously in comparison to more modern titles, is tiny. There's a good variety of different biomes and landscapes to visit, but one of my biggest complaints is the dungeons, a lot of them felt far too labyrinth-like and unless you're using a guide you're going to get lost in dead ends. The biggest annoyance for me though is the random encounters in said dungeons. There are ***so many*** random encounters, at times it's every 3 steps. Great for rounding out those stats that you're using a lot, not so great when you're in the last dungeon that has ***16 (sixteen!)*** floors. Make sure you've stocked up before you hit the last dungeon because those 16 levels have dead-ends and empty rooms aplenty and hundreds of encounters. I think it may well have taken me over 3 hours to finish the last dungeon and I had to teleport out, restock, heal up to make sure I had enough to take on the final boss and then start again at least twice, but then maybe I was too low level when I went in. I definitely wasn't by the end! Another thing that really bugged me was the attack inconsistancies, particularly in the mid-game, sometimes I'd hit for 12 damage the next attack on the same enemy would hit for 200. By the end of the game as I got my strength and accuracy up this had evened out and I was consistently hitting for 2,000+ against standard enemies. Despite my gripes though, as I was heading through the game I noticed that I'd gone from being irritated to actually having fun. When it's wonky, the game's *really* wonky but when it's working properly, it's pretty good! The difficulty and learning curve is just right, that's one part I enjoyed. When I first hit a new dungeon I'd feel weak and underpowered. As my skills improved and I picked up a few new weapons I managed to survive a little easier and by the dungeon boss, I was cutting through enemies with relative ease, as it should be. In FF1 I didn't get one game over, but I definitely got a few here, as I was learning the new skills, new levelling system and getting to grips with how it worked. Even at the end-game, I got hit with a few curve balls which forced me out of my standard way of playing to try new things and experiment.\n\nThe story is a massive step up from FF1, there's a simple but clear narrative. Evil Emporer raging war against the world, kidnapped princess and a journey to hell. Knowing your next objective is much more straight forward and it just makes sense. It's a simple and cliched story but it's there, you don't need to find random NPCs nearly as much although it's worth doing as they'll often tell you more about where you're going. The pacing is a bit off at times though, in one instance I'd spent a good 2 hours following a quest line, wrapped it up and started the next which lasted about 15 minutes and left me feeling I'd missed something out.\n\nIntertwined with the story is the keyword system. This really grated on me to begin with and I hated it, but as I got used to it I warmed to it, to a degree. I still don't love it. Essentially certain keywords will appear red in the text and you can learn that word and then ask for more info, go to another NPC and ask them about it or at times just guess. I started off missing one or two which was really frustrating as you can't progress the story without saying them in some cases, but as the story progresses it becomes much more logical. I mean what kind of world are we in where you can't go to a town until you've mentioned a keyword about it first?\n\nIn essence, this is a simple story of good vs evil (basically Star Wars) with some overly complicated levelling system and story progression keyword system. It's like the devs finished the game and thought, this is too simple, how can we make this more *different*. As I said before, sometimes it works, sometimes, not so much.\n\nThe Soul of Rebirth content is something I didn't really get to try out too much. In the main story, you have 3 core party members and a revolving cast that dip in and out and make up the 4th party member. It's up to you to equip the revolving party member and after I had one temporary party member die as part of the storyline, taking my items with them, I made a point to keep the next ones less well equipped and if I could tell they would be leaving I'd unequip them completely. That's the issue with Soul of Rebirth. It includes those revolving party members as a separate storyline taking place in line with the main storyline. The problem is, the characters in SoR use the weapons you gave them when they left your party, all of mine were unequipped or underpowered and the prospect of doing it all again from scratch was too much. SoR might be amazing but I imagine it's more of the same.\n\nI can understand why FF2 is so derided by fans of the series. It's certainly flawed but is it awful? It's not terrible by any stretch, it has its high points but unfortunately, the low points often outweigh them. It wasn't until the late game that I really got into the swing of it and started to enjoy it more. As you can tell by the length of this post, there's a lot to unpack, although the story is simple enough, the game itself is much more complex. It took me a total of 20 hours to finish the main story and that's without the SoR content, if it's what I've read about I can imagine at least another 10 hours to play through it. Still, for a game from 1988, I think 20 hours is pretty impressive!\n\nSo now to rank it, I genuinely want to put it level with FF1, it doesn't always reach its ambitions and tries to add new things that don't always work, but the story is much better and the general feel of it is more structured and polished. That feels like a cop-out though so I'll say:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n1. Final Fantasy 1\n2. Final Fantasy 2 (but only just)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTL;DR - A flawed game, with more scope and ambition than Final Fantasy 1, it sometimes tries to overcomplicate things and sometimes this falls flat on its face. A nice, simple story that's a little cliche but much clearer than its predecessor. Does it deserve the bad reputation it has? In my opinion, no, I had fun with most of it!
## Well this really sucks I am in 8th grade and there was a incident in the class next to mine where 2 or 3 students (estimate) stole 12 tests including their own the day after a major district test, they then took pictures of the answers (all the test they stole where from almost and straight A students) and then speed these pictures through Snapchat. The reason they where able to stew all these texts was because that day there was a substitute teacher and they took advantage of her lack of knowledge of names, faces and ect. This caused a massive panic among the district because since no one confessed they had no idea of how far the pictures went, keep in mind that this was again a major test that counted for a large part of thousands of students grades. The school contacted the districts office and the effect of just 2-3 kids caused the entire school district to have to scrap and retake the test. This effected kids in both middle school and high school who where part of algebra 1, this just really pissed me off due to the fact that I was struggling in this class before hand and now have to redo a test that could have changed that. \n\nPs: the main teacher who was in charge of that class was out for that one day due to unknown reasons.
## Anyone else have really strict parents? What do you do / how do you deal with it? Basically have really strict family myself. I\031m 15 and have never been anywhere aside from school without them. Ive never gone anywhere alone, never done anything by with friends outside of school, never gone to someone else\031s house or had anyone come to mine, not allowed to text or call people, no social media& I feel disconnected from people I know and am friends with both literally and more emotionally. I think it\031s made me more shut off from people too. Curious how those with strict parents deal with it and how strict are your parents?
## My gut instincts went haywire about a past employer when I met them resulting in 2 or 3 years of severe anxiety due to it. Please help me make sense of this. This might be a long post and might not even be the right place to post this. But I need help making sense of something I am not sure of at all. I need mental clarity desperately.\n\nI'm based in south Asia and right after graduating college, I got a job at a mid level company (in south asian context this means around 80-120 people) as a software developer.\n\nNow, the software industry in south asia relies on a lot of remote/outsourced and freelance work. The owner of my company however went one step further. He happens to have a U.S dual citizenship so what he would do is get hired as a contractor to American companies and startups by himself but would essentially send all of the details of the code and access to it to us back in south asia where we would have to impersonate the owner of the company to hi colleagues and do all the coding and communication via text. He would only attend meetings where he had to show his face and we would prep him before those.\n\nThe first time I met this person, I didn't really care much as I was just focused on getting my work done and getting paid. But for some reason, he started taking a keen interest in me and tried to be a bit extra friendly to me. I took that as a complement that the boss was really cool and all. He even helped me by assigning me to a project with a friend of his who worked for one of the biggest tech companies in the US.\n\nNow, that project kind of ended and the next time I met him (after six months after my first encounter as he had gone back to the US), I ended up meeting him again, and I kid you not. My gut instincts went bat shit crazy. I am not joking when I tell you that I literally froze and became a statue when he approached me. This has never ever happened to me before to this level. It felt almost supernatural. Please believe me that I am not lying to you about how severely something felt really really wrong to me.\n\nI obviously did not have clues or context as to why this was the case. I kept overthinking about this and assumed it might have been that I did something wrong on the project when i worked for his friend.\n\nSo I sent my boss a text asking him for more details about why the project ended abruptly and if I had done something wrong. Frankly, my gut instincts were going so off on such little context with regards to this person that I did not know what to do. and needed to see if maybe talking with him directly would help ease this weird feeling.\n\nBut everything went wrong after this. The boss literally started going out of his way to completely avoid me from the day I sent him the text message. \n\nHe would still text me about meeting up with me but in person, he would completely avoid me. the feeling was also not going away but I was struck with the strangest kind of shock I have never felt in my life.\n\nAt this point, I started getting suspicious that he was spying on my through my phone.\n\nI once talked about a book to a friend of mine, and I noticed he posted a picture of himself holding the same book literally the next day.\n\nSimilarly, I shit talked about his behavior and everything I was experiencing to my friend as well and I just feel that he somehow overheard our conversation.\n\nSImilarly, I noticed some of his friends who are also super senior and big in the local tech scene who I had never ever met before but I had visited their linkedin profiles as they are famous also ended up blocking me after I visited their linkedin profile ( I have it set to private so they shouldnt know who exactly looked them up plus they don't even know who I am). I can imagine he might have informed them that this guy is a threat or something.\n\nSo based on all this context, is it possible for him to have somehow access to my privacy and why I was getting such an off feeling about this dude?
## Avoidant vs. lack of physical attraction {fa} {da} Hi everyone, I\031m a bit confused and looking for some advice. \n\nWithin the last month I\031ve discovered I am (I think) avoidant. The issue is with the relationship I\031m currently in. \n\nWith my last relationship, which I think is a large part of why I am avoidant, I wasn\031t into the guy for the better part of a year a tried it convince myself I was because he was \034right\035. This led to a deep resentment of him because I essentially forced myself to stay with someone I wasn\031t truly into, thinking the honeymoon phase was just ending. This has created a deep doubting of my own judgment within relationships. \n\nI have been seeing someone for around a month and a half. We\031ve been on multiple dates, I have the very classic \034switch between hot and cold\035 with him that avoidants feel. \n\nThe issue is I do not think I\031m overly physically attracted to him and I don\031t see this changing. He is not an unattractive guy, I just never find myself having any desire to have any physical contact with him whatsoever \024 even to the point of it making me uncomfortable. He is great and I have talked about my need for independence with him. I just don\031t know if I\031m not feeling romantic feelings/attracted to him, or if this is avoidant behavior kicking in. \n\nThanks for any input!\n\nUPDATE: He could sense things were off after our date last night which doesn\031t surprise me as he\031s very perceptive. I couldn\031t talk until tonight due to prior commitments today. Instead of giving me space today (he knew what I was doing and that I was busy) he sent increasingly upset texts throughout the day, ignoring me telling him to please just wait until we could chat tonight. I just wanted to have an honest conversation with him that I don\031t think I was feeling what I needed to for this go to forward. On our call he proceeded to tell me I have \034a lot of trauma and baggage\035 and \034he was just trying to help\035. That was off putting to hear, especially as I understand what triggers me in relationships and I know a lot of that needs to be worked on outside of a relationship (hence, ending things here). I know I have things I can work on, but we all do. I was just very open about mine. His wording was hurtful. \n\nWe\031ve been on 4 true dates, hung out casually a couple times outside of that, all in all have been talking for around 1-1.5 months. I had opened up to him and been very upfront about my avoidant tendencies, never trying to deceive him. He reassured me it\031s okay to not know 100% right in the beginning. I felt like I was having to apologize for realizing I didn\031t think I was feeling what I needed to be feeling for this to go further \024 I apologized countless times on the call and it didn\031t matter. There was a lot of him taking a victim role throughout the day, which I didn\031t appreciate. I hadn\031t seen any of this side of him until today. \n\nGiven how things happened today, I think this may have been for the best. I never meant to hurt him but the feeling just wasn\031t there for me. Thanks for your input, everyone!
## hii f 18 looking for friends and chats :D Hi everyone I'm looking for a friend :) could it be you?!!?\n\nAbout me: \n- My hobbies are painting, gaming, collecting plushies, loving dogs (especially mine) and animals, watchin adventure time :D\n\n-I have very bad anxiety but I find it easy texting and talking online!\n\n-Im from Australia but I don't mind where ever youre from!\n\nMessage me if you'd like to be friends or chat!
## My (43F) gf wants to marry me (M38). Everything is fine except for that... is there hope? We know the risks of matrimony. She seems to believe that marriage will just happen if we date long enough. I have been firm and she has not mentioned for awhile. However, yesterday she said that she was going to marry me someday in a text.\n\nShe also wants kids, but I'm not willing to risk a disabled child given her age and also mine. \n\nThe sex is good and we agree on what food to eat. We both don't drink. Good match.\n\nDoes she get it? Do I need to keep reminding her that we're not getting married or marred?
## Chaos TV! [Part 4] [I](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/qw8hnx/chaos_tv_part_1/)\n[II](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/qx6gug/chaos_tv_part_2/)\n[III](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/sxi59y/chaos_tv_part_3/)\n\nUnlike the lavish downtown Seattle apartment that we can somehow afford on my imaginary TV show, my living area was practically limited to three rooms - a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. Not much space for much else, less I start earning a higher living to make some. I\031d have to graduate and hope for a decent job first. It was also limited to two colors: beige and beig-*er*. \n\nThere wasn\031t much decor to add any extra life to my closet of a room, but the few things I did have, including a couple of movie posters on the wall (*Star Wars, The Matrix, The Puppet Master, Tron)* and my LED lights, currently unlit, taped up in the corners of the walls, were crucial in ensuring that I didn\031t go mad in this place. Jeff\031s uncle\031s place was a paradise resort compared to this. The toilet hasn\031t given me or my roommate any trouble lately, though, it still gets stopped up from time to time, and we had a gas leak scare the other month, which thankfully, we ended up calling maintenance to get that taken care of in no time before it turned into something much worse. Other than that, it was a competent living space; it served its purpose.\n\nI stared at the row of mediums on my laptop I\031d created in just the span of a few days. Then at the generated poster for *Chaos TV!* It was a colorful array of selections, each poster with its unique tone and semblance in its respective genre, each with countless famous A-listers most would recognize at a glance, and some more under the radar. With my profile having been created under \030Confined Reality\031 settings, I couldn\031t recreate new mediums starring the rest of the gang, according to the principles Fe explained, and I can\031t go backward in time if the reality created on my profile contradicts the given medium I wish to create. \n\nI clicked on the + symbol in the corner of the screen, indicating for the user to create a new medium. The options to either upload from the library of thousands of films to select from Neptune, upload from my Cloud, or upload a script of my own appeared in the dropdown selection. There was also the option to mix these options up to allow for more flexibility. I chose to pick a movie from the selection and one of my creations. \n\nSure, I couldn\031t reuse my dead friends - sorry, at least, \034dead\035 in the Neptune program - but characters - the essence, manifestation of their personalities - don\031t exactly die, do they? Actors replace other actors all the time, sometimes taking on the exact same role. Hell, actors even get awards for playing other actors all the time in biopics. Why couldn\031t this be any different?\n\nI decided to merge *Chaos TV!* with the 1985\031s murder mystery-comedy *Clue*. The actual plot of *Clue* would play out nearly the same, except the catch was that the gang and I - Jeff, Amy, Kelly, and Mile - would be the stars& played by different actors. If I can\031t use their actual selves, then I\031d have to replace them with people who could embody their personas down to a T. \n\nFrank included. \n\nHe had to be there. He\031d become a part of the crew at this point, whether we liked it or not. The man of mystery himself seemed involved in every aspect of our on-screen lives, and I needed him to fall for the bait still. I needed to know if he\031d still go through with it. I needed to know, in a room full of dinner guests, with bodies dropping left and right, fingers pointing at such-and-such, that somehow, he\031d be behind it all&\n\nFrank would be played by, well, whoever Frank has been played by this entire time. He was still unidentified. So in the script, I decided to have each character\031s name flash across the screen when introduced, accompanied by their actors\031 real names. Mine would say, \034*Anthony Prescott as Anthony,\035* and then Venus Monroe (a famous actress and prominent sex symbol) as Amy. \n\nNo, that felt so wrong. Let me cast her as Kelly instead. But even that was weird&\n\nFuck it, Anthony. Just fill their spots in. That\031s all I had to do. \n\nAfter I got everything set, there was the moment of truth - would it even generate? I clicked to find out. Across the screen, a box popped up with the message:\n\n*Casting Error:* \n\n*The selected actor \030Frank\031 as \030Frank\031 is not recognized. Please select another actor.*\n\n\034Come the fuck on,\035 I groaned. \n\nApparently, Neptune can cast whoever the hell it wants with no warning, no additional information whatsoever, not even as much as a first and last name, but when I turn around and try and cast someone *it* put in place *itself,* suddenly, I\031m full of shit. Goodness&\n\nSo I can\031t use Frank&\n\nCould I use another actor to play Frank? Guess that\031s the only reasonable option. I picked a random actor I\031m sure nobody\031s ever heard of - no offense to them - then tried again.\n\n*Continuity Error:*\n\n*The character \030Frank\031 interferes with the continuity of this user\031s profile. Please select either a different actor or character.*\n\nI was at a loss. What the hell does that even mean? Frank all of sudden doesn\031t exist? Did he ever exist? He had to in order to be a part of the first season of *Chaos TV!* There\031s no way he\031s just some sort& wait.\n\nThe thought brushed over me a few times since testing out the mediums, but I believed it was too farfetched for me to really concur. However, now it\031s starting to persistently tap my shoulder, begging the question; was Frank even a real person? Was he just a background character generated by the program, replicated to look almost like an actual person, an attestation to just how realistic it could be and how far we\031ve come in technology?\n\nCould be a stretch, but it was a working theory&\n\nI decided to scrap the character of Frank entirely, and just use myself and the original gang. Though, I didn\031t really see the point in what I was doing now. With Frank gone, this was practically meaningless. But who knows. So far, the program did things on its own that didn\031t add up yet. Maybe it would give us more clues to work with (no pun intended).\n\nTime to test this one out. I clicked \030Generate New Medium\031 and watched as the loading symbol swirled on the screen. This time, a pop-up message box didn\031t intrude, but instead, a box giving me the download time followed, as it did with the many others I made. Finally, a breakthrough.\n\nThen I looked at the time left for it to generate.\n\n*21 hours and 47 minutes*\n\nYou\031ve gotta be kidding me. That long? It never takes that long for a 90-minute feature to generate, let alone a two-hour one. I threw my head back against the bedboard and let out the heaviest sigh. I suppose I could take a nap or watch something else in the meantime. Could probably look back over reruns of *Chaos TV!* to search for more clues we might\031ve missed, though, I think Jeff or one of the others was on that already.\n\n*The Jetsons* doorbell chime sounded from my phone, and I picked it up to see who just texted me. I froze once I read it. It was from Amy.\n\n*Hey, can you come over?*\n\nMy heartbeat just shot up. Did she mean to send that to me? That was a first.\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nSimilar to how Jeff stayed with his uncle, Amy was fortunate enough to live with her aunt. I don\031t entirely remember what she said her aunt did for a living, but I believe it had something to do with sales. Amy said she didn\031t have to worry about sharing the rent - must be nice. \n\nI rang the doorbell and was greeted by Amy\031s aunt herself. \n\n\034Hi, you must be Anthony,\035 she delightfully greeted with a big smile. \034I\031m Victoria.\035\n\nShe extended her hand for me to shake, which I did without hesitation. Her kindness felt contagious.\n\n\034It\031s nice to meet you, Victoria,\035 I returned.\n\n\034Please, come in,\035 she insisted.\n\nOf course, the house was very well-decorated on the interior and very clean. It was a complete 180 from my place, mainly speaking for my roommate\031s section, which unfortunately included the kitchen and living area at times. \n\n\034Amy\031s just upstairs,\035 Victoria informed. \034Right after you go up, take a right into the hallway and she\031ll be in the room just across.\035\n\n\034Okay, thank you,\035 I replied.\n\n\034Also, I\031m making dinner. It should be done in about an hour. If you\031d like to stay for that, you\031re more than welcome.\035\n\nAny college student would be dumb to turn down a free meal any day, first and foremost, but I also couldn\031t refuse just for Victoria\031s hospitality alone. \n\n\034Sure, yeah, that would be nice actually,\035 I accepted.\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nAcross the hall, Amy\031s door was left wide open, and I could already tell from a distance that it was her room from the plastered boy band, anime, and girl pop star posters along the wall. I stepped in, lightly knocking on the side of the wall.\n\n\034Permission to come aboard?\035 I humored.\n\nIn the corner of the room next to the window, Amy sat at her desktop computer table, stacked with all sorts of books and accessories, decorated in a full spectrum of pink, purple, white, and green. \n\nShe turned to face me, glasses over her face. Gosh, she looked even prettier with her glasses, in my opinion, but pretty regardless.\n\n\034Permission granted,\035 she chortled. \034Here, come look at this.\035\n\nAs I walked over to her side, I could already see Neptune pulled up, as well as some minimized boxes layered across the monitor. I took a seat on a cushioned stool she left for me at her side.\n\n\034I was looking over the last episode we made of your show - *our* show - like crazy since it happened, and I took some notes.\035\n\n\034What did you find?\035 I asked.\n\nShe shook her head. \034All sorts of shit. Things I\031m not even sure make sense, but none of it really does, I guess.\035\n\nI glanced at her notebook left on the desk to the side, full of random questions and theories written in no particular order, arrows pointing diagonally here and there. It was amazingly in-depth, more than the notes I take in class. No wonder her grades were better than mine.\n\n*Why is Frank so distant from us?*\n\n*Why is* *~~he cold~~* *does he have a cold stare?*\n\n*Why does it all end in death?*\n\n*What\031s with this theme of death?*\n\nAnd there were countless more questions with various lines pointing in other directions across the paper.\n\n\034I suppose if I took notes as good as these, I\031d finally get a B-average in math,\035 I dryly humored.\n\n\034I could help you with that,\035 Amy commented, simultaneously clicking and typing to pull up whatever it was she intended to show me.\n\n\034Yeah?\035\n\n\034Of course. Why not?\035\n\nYeah& why not?\n\n\034Here, take a look at these,\035 she pointed at the screen.\n\nAmy\031s Neptune dashboard was left open for me to see, her own list of mediums on full display. Some of them looked familiar, like the rom-coms and *Magic Mike*, but there were a few other new mediums that I guess you could say were& *fascinating*.\n\n\034Is that you in the cover of *The Fault In Our Stars*?\035 I pointed out.\n\nAmy sighed, \034Yes.\035\n\n\034Is that-\035\n\n\034Yes, that\031s *The Notebook* as well. That\031s not what I\031m talking about.\035 \n\nAmy moved her finger more precisely towards a row of movies and TV shows she created that I was all too familiar with, starring us - her, Jeff, Miles, Kelly, and I - as the main leads. They consisted of recreations of *Final Destination, Scooby-Doo, The Breakfast Club, The Thing,* and *Ferris Bueller\031s Day Off*.\n\n\034You made more mediums,\035 I said.\n\n\034Right,\035 she confirmed. \034I chose these ones in particular since they all involve a gang of people sort of? All of them except *Ferris Bueller*. I wanted to throw one in there that didn\031t involve a murder plot and was something entirely innocent to see if the Neptune program would still deviate from the main plot.\035\n\n\034I don\031t remember a murder plot in *The Breakfast Club* either.\035\n\n\034There isn\031t, I just picked it since it\031s, ya know, a \030team\031 movie, if that makes sense?\035\n\n\034Okay. You wanna see if they end in a similar outcome as-\035\n\n\034*Chaos TV!*, exactly.\035\n\nLittle did she know, I had the exact same idea and had already started running the experiment on my own, except mine would apparently take all day.\n\n\034So what did you find?\035 I asked.\n\n\034Well, why don\031t you take a look,\035 she answered. \n\nBetter to see it with my own two eyes, I supposed. \n\nShe first clicked on *Final Destination*, more specifically *Final Destination 1*, where the plane crashes at the beginning of the movie and the survivors that were meant to board Flight 180 one-by-one get offed by the invisible force of none other than death itself.\n\nThe rest of the gang and I were the overall stars of the medium, but the central characters were, of course, Amy and I. Perhaps this was intentional on Amy\031s part in the initial casting phase of generating the medium or selected by the program itself.\n\n\034We\031re not gonna watch the whole thing, but just pay attention to these scenes,\035 Amy said, as she moved the cursor over the timeline bar, clicking and jumping us to later scenes in the film.\n\nParticularly, all the death scenes.\n\nThe first on-screen death was Miles. In the actual movie, the character Tod ended up hanging himself in the shower due to a list of ridiculous, \034unusual\035 circumstances. We didn\031t watch the whole thing. No one wants to see their friends get murdered or killed right in front of them, even if it wasn\031t real. Knowing how Neptune was, based on recent mediums, something much more malignant was at play here.\n\nAmy clicked a few times over a specific region of the timeline, trying to jump to the right shot.\n\n\034Here,\035 she said, once she was satisfied.\n\nFor a brief second, the camera pans away from the bathroom window towards a shot of Miles choking and gasping for air as the clothesline coils tightly around his neck, his eyes bulging red.\n\nI start to turn my head to look away from the grotesque image. Thankfully, Amy quickly paused it.\n\n\034Did you notice anything slightly off?\035 Amy said.\n\nWas she joking?\n\n\034No, not at all,\035 I sarcastically remarked.\n\n\034Not the hanging part, but just before the camera moves over.\035 Amy rewinds the clip for me to see again. \034Look, pay attention to the window.\035\n\nI lean forward some more and squint my eyes, focusing hard on finding whatever it is I was supposed to be looking for. From the angle of the medium shot, the frame only captures just a little over half of the entire window, the rest of it not being able to fit onto the screen right before it pans over to the shower. \n\n\034Wait, go back,\035 I say. \n\nShe does so, and this time, I can see make out the blurred shape of someone standing outside the window, engulfed in the darkness of the night, which is when the scene takes place.\n\n\034You see it now?\035 Amy asks.\n\n\034Yeah& it\031s a person,\035 I concur.\n\n\034Any idea as to who it might be? \030Cause I do.\035\n\nLeaning forward some more, I do my best to try and get a clearer look at their face or any sort of distinct features. I could tell they were a Caucasian male, that\031s about it.\n\n\034You have your glasses, I don\031t,\035 I commented.\n\nAmy traced her finger along the monitor over the top of the figure\031s head region.\n\n\034Here, see, there\031s an outline of a beanie,\035 she noted. \034And if you look really hard, you can see that they\031re wearing what looks like a zipped-up jacket.\035\n\nMy stomach dropped at the realization.\n\n\034Frank,\035 I spoke in a low tone, perhaps even fearful.\n\n\034There\031s no denying it\031s him, and I didn\031t even cast him myself in the medium,\035 Amy pointed out.\n\nShe then jumped across to the next death scene, Kelly\031s. In the actual movie, this scene, as horrifying as it would be in real life, was undisputedly hilarious across all boards. The character Terry in the movie is in an argument with the rest of the group about moving on from the near-death experience of almost boarding the plane at the beginning of the movie, and when she heatedly walks off, telling them that they can just, \034*Drop fucking dead*,\035 she then proceeds to get hit by a bus in a fraction of a second. Takes me out every time, but that\031s beside the point.\n\nThis time, it was less funny, considering it was Kelly that fell victim to death\031s plan in the movie, but Amy shook her head, letting out a light scoff.\n\n\034This shit is so ridiculous,\035 she commented, apparently finding the scene just as silly as I did.\n\n\034Right?\035 I agreed.\n\n\034But did you notice anything else in the background?\035\n\nAnother hidden message? No, I surely didn\031t. She rewound the clip just about ten seconds before Kelly actually gets hit by the bus. My eyes began shifting in all sorts of crazy directions, looking for any sort of small clue or detail I would\031ve otherwise paid little to no attention to.\n\nThere were buildings, obviously set designs likely from Universal or Warner Bros. Studios, there were a few construction workers in the background working on part of the road, a few parked cars on the curb. I wasn\031t sure exactly what I was missing& right up until I saw it.\n\nJust before the shot in which Kelly begins stepping back into the road, far in the background, so brief that if I blinked I\031da missed it, I can see a person walking down the avenue, dressed in a zipped-up hoodie, beanie, washed-out jeans, and Chucks. \n\n\034He\031s there again,\035 I shook my head in disbelief. \034He\031s always there.\035\n\nAmy jumped to the next clip of Val, a.k.a Ms. Lewton\031s insane death in the movie, this time portrayed by Jeff\031s uncle, surprisingly.\n\n\034Did you cast his uncle yourself?\035 I questioned.\n\n\034No,\035 Amy answered. I believed her, too.\n\nThe chaotic chain of events leads to Jeff\031s Uncle Chris\031s house catching on fire and ultimately exploding after I tried to save him on-screen. Outside, Jeff watches the whole thing unfold in horror. God, it was a bit too real, from the casting of real people we knew to the impressive, realistic acting. \n\nI then remembered the experiment we did with breaking the fourth wall and making the cast improvise their lines on the fly. It brought up an interesting point; could they really be making thoughts of their own, living in their own bubble of existence through our small computer screens? If so, the overwhelmingly morbid, terrifying thought of the countless mediums we collectively generated being pocket dimensions of actors being forever trapped in a pandemonium of our own making made my skin crawl and my head spin.\n\nIt\031s important to note that after watching all of the other death scenes, with Jeff finding himself hidden in the background of every single one, all the way to the end of the movie, Amy and I were the only last two survivors. That was& interesting, to say the least.\n\n\034Well, we lived,\035 I shrugged, trying to find some humor in it all.\n\n\034Yeah, but why us?\035 Amy pondered. \034And why is Frank putting himself in the picture when uncalled for?\035\n\nI shrugged, my eyes indiscriminately pointed around the room as I tried to come up with some sort of answer, even if a half-assed one. \n\n\034Guess you care a lot about me, huh, Anthony?\035 Amy suddenly spoke.\n\n\034Huh?\035 I quickly responded, thrown off guard.\n\nAmy chuckled. \034I\031m just messing around,\035 she assured. \034I figured I must mean a lot to be able to make it all the way through the end of a horror movie with you in it.\035\n\nHowever, my wit wasn\031t up to par with hers, so I didn\031t catch on in time to the fact that she was either joking or even half-joking.\n\n\034I-I care about all of you,\035 I defended. \034Yeah, of course you, too, but all of you.\035\n\nAmy smiled. \034Yeah& but they didn\031t all make it in the end.\035\n\nThe vibration of my escalating heartbeat rang throughout my body as sweat began forming in my palms. \n\n\034Here, let me show you the next medium I made,\035 Amy thankfully moved on. \n\nYeah, I did care about her, though. A lot. \n\nA whole lot&\n\nShe clicked on the next poster in her list, which I immediately recognized as a recreation of *The Breakfast Club*. The pinkish-white background accompanied by the five stars of the film on the cover - Bender (Miles), Allison (Amy), Brian (Jeff), Claire (Kelly), and Andrew (played by myself) - was an instant eyecatcher. Honestly, it was a cool picture as well. Only difference was, I didn\031t suit the role of a jock at all, didn\031t have a letterman or nothing. I felt completely miscast. Otherwise, everyone else was damn near perfeclty fitted for their roles. Well& then there was Amy, too.\n\n\034Wow, did you cast us yourself?\035 I asked. \034Or did you let the program do it\031s thing like last time?\035\n\nShe laughed with a scoff. \034Funny you ask that,\035 she said. \034It let me choose whichever part I wanted for whichever actor, with the exception of you and I, for some reason.\035\n\nOh damn. There was a clear pattern going on here, and Neptune wasn\031t being subtle about it at all. Not to my liking, that is.\n\n\034Interesting&\035 I mustered.\n\nIf you ask me, Amy was definitely a Claire. In my eyes, anyways.\n\n\034Yeah, so is the part in the movie where the school catches on fire in the end,\035 she replied.\n\n\034What? That-That never happened. I\031ve seen that movie more than once and never remember that happening.\035\n\n\034Exactly. It didn\031t. But check this out.\035\n\nAmy fast-forwarded through the movie again, with her explaining that after sitting through the whole thing, it was a near-perfect replication of the original film. None of the lines changed, none of the blocking and mannerisms, editing, soundtrack, and so on, almost like a deepfake interpretation. Everything was the same& except for the ending.\n\nThe scene in the film where Bender climbs through the vents to sneak past Vice Principal Vernon was where things began to alternate. Instead, it was myself - playing Andrew - where I was the one crawling through the vents. However, I began to notice smoke coming through the vents, and in a panic, I fell through the ceiling (like in the actual movie) and ended up on the opposite side of the school, unlike in the actual movie where Bender ends up back in the library. In our version, I also realize that there is indeed a fire burning throughout the school, caused by reasons unknown, and the alarm begins going off. I immediately take the nearest exit and make my way out, watching the building become engulfed in the huge flames.\n\nMeanwhile, the rest of the gang try to escape by taking the exits as well, but astoundingly, the doors are locked. For whatever reason, they still had to die&\n\nOut of all the interpretations the program could make, it always ended in death&\n\n\034I\031m guessing you didn\031t write a script for this one, too?\035 I spoke, utterly bewildered by what I just watched.\n\n\034You guessed right,\035 Amy confirmed.\n\nIt took a completely innocent movie, not about violence or death whatsoever, and managed to make it that way somehow. I didn\031t understand.\n\nBut that wasn\031t all. Strangely, and eerily, the film\031s main theme in both the opening and closing credits, Simple Minds\031 *Don't You (Forget About Me)*, still played in the end, except there wasn\031t a cool, happy ending with me jumping in the air in a freeze-frame. This time, I was watching in horror at the burning building, as my friends were trapped inside. And guess who was there in the background, ever so subtle&\n\n\034There he is,\035 I pointed out.\n\nAmy didn\031t even have to show me this time, I just already knew. Standing just behind the bleachers, Frank was watching from afar.\n\nAnd there was more where that came from. Amy had many more mediums starring the five of us, even seemingly innocent ones, like *Scooby-Doo*, *Rugrats, Boy Meets World,* shows and movies where no one is supposed to die at all, where death isn\031t even a concept (well, *Boy Meets World* did get serious sometimes, death included, but I digress), all ending in death somehow, and I\031m the last survivor. Always. Frank and I.\n\n\034I can\031t take anymore,\035 I told her. \034I need a& cigarette, a joint, something, I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034You don\031t smoke, do you?\035 Amy said.\n\n\034No, but after all this, I think I want to.\035\n\n\034I don\031t blame you. No matter what I feed the program, it always ends in-\035\n\n\034Death,\035 I said with her.\n\n\034Right. And Frank\031s always in the background. I only set for it to cast us - the five of us - as the main leads, no one else. Whoever else the program cast as supporting characters or background characters it did on its own.\035\n\n\034So it chooses Frank itself each time& for a reason.\035\n\n\034Is there one?\035\n\nI shrugged. \034I mean, there has to. At this point, it\031s intentional for there not to be. Right?\035\n\nAmy tilted her head. \034That would make sense, yeah, but, unlike Fe, we have little to understanding as to how this thing really works. Like, the full capabilities and workings of it. I think we should send this to her. Have her analyze it herself and see if it might help her better find any more bugs in the coding.\035\n\n\034You speak like an IT student?\035 I lightly humored.\n\nAmy smiled. \034It was on my list of maybes. But I settled for Business. Cliche, I know.\035\n\n\034Why\031d you change?\035\n\n\034\030Cause, it just gives me more potential to open doors for other things, ya know? With that knowledge, I can make a business of my own, or at least have a better understanding of how businesses work in the corporate and non-corporate world. I hope so, anyways.\035\n\nShe really was so smart. Smarter than me, for sure& and so beautiful. \n\n\034Anywho, did *you* make any new mediums?\035 she asked. \034I know you\031re not technically supposed to, but who\031s to say they\031d know or not?\035\n\n\034Oh, uh& yeah, I did try to make one - or, *did* make one,\035 I confessed.\n\n\034Oooh,\035 she childishly teased.\n\nI chuckled a guilty smile. \034It was for research purposes, okay? Like how you\031re doing.\035\n\n\034I know. I figured you would, kinda like how you did the first time without listening?\035\n\n\034Wow, way to rub it in.\035\n\n\034Hey, don\031t kill the messenger,\035 she raised her hands. \034Nah, don\031t worry, I won\031t tell anyone. It\031ll be between us. Deal?\035\n\nI smiled. \034Yeah. Deal.\035\n\n\034So what\031d you make? What movie or TV show did you come up with this time?\035\n\n\034Uh, did you ever see *Clue*?\035\n\nHer eyes looked up, shifting left to right in thought.\n\n\034I don\031t think so. I\031ve played the board game.\035\n\n\034Well, it\031s based off the board game, literally,\035 I said. \034It\031s like a classic murder mystery, like out of an Agatha Christie novel. It\031s got Tim Curry and some other famous actors in it I can\031t remember the names of.\035\n\n\034So, you intentionally chose a murder mystery, in a program that seems to be hellbent on murder,\035 - I let out a small laugh - \034starring us, I\031m guessing? Oh no, wait, you can\031t. It won\031t let you, right?\035\n\n\034At first,\035 I pointed with my finger. \034But then, I thought why not just replace us with different actors?\035\n\n\034You recast all of us?\035 she asked, sounding slightly offended.\n\n\034It was kinda the only way. Sorry.\035\n\n\034Hmph,\035 she playfully uttered in annoyance.\n\n\034If it makes you feel any better, I cast you as Minnie Shields?\035\n\nShe was a well-known female action star who took on a plethora of different roles throughout her career, kind of like Jennifer Garner or Gal Gadot. Gorgeous woman, too.\n\n\034Really? Hmm, that makes me feel a little better. Then again, her name is \030mini shields\031.\035\n\nI scoffed in wonder, never actually realizing that until now. \n\n\034Could be worse,\035 I said. \034Could be Max& *Swords*.\035\n\nAmy winced, looking off to the side.\n\n\034I\031m sorry, humor isn\031t my thing, if you haven\031t noticed watching the-\035\n\n\034I know, it\031s all right,\035 Amy said.\n\n\034But yes, that\031s what I made.\035\n\n\034So it wouldn\031t let you make one starring us without replacing us?\035\n\n\034You make it sound so bad when you put it that way.\035\n\n\034Well, no, that makes sense. That\031s& actually pretty smart.\035\n\nAnd here I thought I was the one supposed to be giving her the compliments. Only in my head, apparently.\n\n\034Essentially, it\031s a murder mystery, starring us, played by other actors, still technically acting as *us*, since in that reality, the \030confined reality\031 or whatever, made under my account ran into a loophole in casting our real selves - gosh, that hurt my brain. Except for me, I\031m still in it.\035\n\n\034Of course.\035\n\n\034So, it\031s like an *Inception*\\-type of thing. Characters or actors within& characters within *actors*. I don\031t know how to explain it any better.\035\n\n\034I get it. So have you watched it already?\035 Amy asked.\n\nI sighed. \034No, not yet. It says it\031s gonna take 20 hours to generate.\035\n\n\034Eww, why so long?\035\n\n\034I have no idea. The movie isn\031t that long. I\031ve made longer ones that have taken less than an hour. I don\031t know what the deal is.\035\n\n\034Well, in the meantime, I could make it on mine?\035\n\nI nodded. \034You could&\035\n\n\034That way we don\031t have to be replaced by A-listers and we can just be our normal, actual selves. I\031m surprised you didn\031t just send me that idea before.\035\n\n\034Well, I didn\031t plan on telling anyone, to be honest. And, well, now you know.\035\n\n\034Eh, fuck it. We\031re already in this mess. Might as well make the most of it.\035\n\nTrue.\n\n\034Did you cast& you know, \030him\031 in it?\035 Amy said.\n\n\034Who?\035 I said confusedly.\n\n\034You know, *him*?\035\n\nI arched my brow, clueless.\n\n\034Frank?\035 she whispered.\n\n\034Why didn\031t you say that? Acting like he\031s Voldemort or something?\035\n\n\034Because, he freaks me out! Ugh, he\031s just creepy! His eyes, his stare, the way he\031s always watching.\035\n\nShe did have a point. He was creepy, no doubt about it.\n\n\034Actually, it wouldn\031t let me. It ran into another continuity error. According to Neptune, on my profile, anyways, the character Frank doesn\031t exist.\035\n\n\034What?\035\n\n\034Yeah, and, when I tried replacing him with a different actor, it said, and I quote, \030he interferes with the continuity of my user profile.\031\035\n\n\034That\031s so weird.\035\n\nAmy spun her chair to face the monitor and keyboard again, as she began to initiate the process of generating our new medium.\n\n\034When you don\031t ask for Frank, he shows up whenever he pleases, but when you specifically request him, he\031s not able to make it?\035 she went on.\n\n\034Some friend he is,\035 I dryly humored.\n\nAmy half-turned to face me again, pointing her tiny finger at me.\n\n\034That was kinda funny,\035 she commented.\n\n\034Thank you.\035\n\nThe menu layout to begin setting the specifications and rules for the medium displayed on her computer, giving her a range of options. Which actors she wishes to cast? Which genre? Which prior movie or TV show did she wish to replicate, if any, or did she want to create a new one based on the modifications provided?\n\nI provided all of the information I could remember, making sure I wasn\031t mixing up any details or leaving anything out from when I remade *Clue* on my profile. \n\n\034I don\031t even know if this is gonna work,\035 I doubtfully said.\n\n\034If *what\031s* gonna work?\035 Amy asked.\n\n\034...Well, just that. Initially, I was trying to see what Frank was gonna do if I cast him in the movie - intentionally. Now, I don\031t really know what the point of this is.\035\n\nIn her eyes, Amy understood exactly what I meant at that moment.\n\n\034You wanted to see if he was gonna murder us, weren\031t you?\035 she spoke in a low, careful tone.\n\nI nodded. \034He\031s the main suspect tied to all this,\035 I proposed. \034Everywhere he goes, death seems to follow.\035\n\n\034What better way to show it than through a murder mystery, huh?\035\n\n\034Yep.\035\n\nI could see in her eyes that she was thinking again, glancing at her notes, and then back at me.\n\n\034What?\035 I asked.\n\n\034What if,\035 - she started - \034there\031s two different outcomes on both of our Neptune profiles?\035\n\n\034Hmm?\035\n\n\034We both have two different settings, right? Chaos mode and Confined Reality mode, right? Yours might only end one way based on the \030reality\031 you\031ve given it, and mine could end any sort of way, since, ya know, it\031s \030chaos.\031\035\n\n\034Shit& we just might have to put that theory to the test, Amy.\035\n\n\034Let\031s do it.\035\n\n\034Well, that\031s if it doesn\031t take forever to generate. \030Cause when I did it, it-\035\n\n\034Done,\035 Amy cut me off.\n\n\034What?\035\n\n\034It says it\031ll only take 15 minutes to load. See?\035\n\nShe pointed at the screen, showing the loading time of 14 minutes and 23 seconds. I\031ll be damned& why did say it was gonna take all day?\n\nI buzzed my lips, baffled.\n\n\034O&kay,\035 I voiced.\n\nFrom downstairs, we both turned our attention to Amy\031s aunt calling for us.\n\n\034Amy, Anthony, dinner\031s almost ready!\035 she announced.\n\n\034Okay, Aunt Vicky! Thank you!\035 Amy called back. She then turned her attention back to me. \034You\031re staying for dinner?\035\n\n\034Oh yeah, she invited me,\035 I mentioned.\n\n\034Oh& nice. Good.\035\n\n*Good&*\n\nMy phone rang, and I looked to see that it was Jeff calling, requesting FaceTime. Odd, I think that\031s the first time he\031s ever done that if I recall. I answered.\n\n\034What\031s up?\035 I started.\n\n\034Hey& um& you did some redecorating there?\035 Jeff responded, taken aback by the various posters plastered on Amy\031s walls in the background.\n\nI looked behind me and around, confused at first as to what he was talking about.\n\n\034Oh, no, I\031m at Amy\031s place,\035 I explained.\n\n\034Yooooou\031re in Amy\031s room?\035 Jeff pried.\n\n\034... Yeah,\035 I answered.\n\nAmy then leaned into the frame. \034Hey, Jeff!\035 she waved.\n\n\034... Hi,\035 Jeff awkwardly greeted.\n\n\034Did you need something?\035 I asked.\n\n\034Um, yeah, man, peep this,\035 he said, turning the screen away from him and onto his double monitors at his desktop. \034I was reviewing the last episode of *Chaos TV!* we did - you know, the fourth wall break one that completely went to shit?\035\n\n\034Yeah,\035 Amy and I said together.\n\n\034Well, remember how everyone\031s lines seemed totally random and inconsistent?\035 We both nodded. \034I went ahead and typed them out line-by-line in a word document for me to analyze and compare to the original script we uploaded into the program, seeing if there was some sort of error we might\031ve put in somewhere that might\031ve created a bug or inconsistency that Neptune couldn\031t compute - just any sort of explanation as to why our \030actor\031 selves were acting so weird.\035\n\n\034Yeah?\035 Amy acknowledged.\n\nJeff paused for a moment, either to catch a breath or because he couldn\031t believe what he was about to tell us.\n\n\034I don\031t think the lines were as random as we first thought,\035 Jeff said. \034I think they were quite intentional.\035\n\nI then remembered the moment when Kelly\031s on-screen self jumped in to change the subject when everyone else on screen felt noticeably uncomfortable and unsure what to do next in next. I remember how bizarre that whole ordeal was, and just how spontaneous and realistic it felt, as though she actually improvised on the spot. As though she were *cognizant*&\n\n\034What did you find?\035 I asked.\n\n\034So, when I stacked the lines on top of each other in a word document, ya know, when I typed them out myself,\035 Jeff continued, \034I noticed something.\035\n\nFrom his screen looking off of my phone, I could see the manuscript taken from the lines of the episode generated by the program and onto his word document. There were a bunch of footnotes scattered across the page to the sides as well. Like Amy, Jeff was a hardcore notetaker. \n\n\034He takes better notes than me,\035 Amy mumbled.\n\nHowever, I also noticed that the beginning of each line, specifically the first letter of each sentence, was highlighted yellow. Wonder what that was about.\n\nJeff went on, \034The beginning letter of each line seems to spell out a complete sentence, starting from the page when I deliver my first one - and *only* one, really. But notice, it\031s not exactly the beginning letter of every sentence, but rather the beginning letter each time a new person starts speaking. There were two exceptions to that rule that I found, particularly with Miles and Kelly. They\031re the only ones that repeat, if that makes sense.\035\n\nIt didn\031t. Not yet, anyways. \n\nHe moved his phone closer for us to get a better look. Jeff had it typed out for us line-by-line, person-by-person, just as he explained, only typing out the first couple of words instead of typing out the whole line to save space:\n\nJEFF: *Hmmm*.\n\n*(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)*\n\nAMY: *Even though my parents&*\n\nKELLY: *Look, my folks know&*\n\nFRANK: *Parents& gotta love \030em.*\n\nANTHONY: *Uranus is the&*\n\nAMY: *Saturn isn\031t?*\n\nMILES: *\030Your\031 anus (laughs immaturely).*\n\nMILES: *Oh, I know, it\031s&*\n\nKELLY: *Ugh, such a manchild.* \n\nKELLY (looks at the camera): *C\031mon, seriously&*\n\nAMY (to Kelly): *Anna just a&*\n\nANTHONY: *Now, correct me&*\n\nAMY*: Except, technically&*\n\nKELLY: *Now which&*\n\nANTHONY (shrugs): *Don\031t know.*\n\nAMY: *That being said&*\n\nMILES: *How can we see?*\n\nAMY (nervously): *I& I, uh&*\n\nKELLY: *Sounds fine to&*\n\n\034After that, Frank kind of ruins the whole thing,\035 Jeff explains. \034After that, there\031s no more& structure, if you will, to the beginning letters forming some sort of sentence-\035\n\n\034I\031m not understanding, Jeff,\035 I cut in. \034Are you saying the beginning letters of each line - like, the *very* beginning letters - are acting like some sort of&\035\n\n\034Acronym?\035 Amy finished.\n\nI nodded. \034That word. Acronym.\035\n\n\034Exactly. The whole thing is an acronym.\035\n\nJeff opened another tab with a similar format, each line typed out on a page in script format, except this time the actor names indicating who was saying which given line were taken out. It was just the bare words.\n\n*Hmmm*.\n\n*Even though my parents&*\n\n*Look, my folks know&*\n\n*Parents& gotta love \030em.*\n\n*Uranus is the&*\n\n*Saturn isn\031t?*\n\n*\030Your\031 anus (laughs immaturely).*\n\n*Oh, I know, it\031s&*\n\n*Ugh, such a manchild.*\n\n*C\031mon, seriously&*\n\n*Anna just a&*\n\n*Now, correct me&*\n\n*Except, technically&*\n\n*Now which&*\n\n*Don\031t know.*\n\n*That being said&*\n\n*How can we see?*\n\n*I& I, uh&*\n\n*Sounds fine to&*\n\n\034I went ahead and just typed them out this way so I could further analyze it and see if I could decode something,\035 Jeff said. \034And& well&\035\n\nAmy and I squinted, leaning further towards the tiny screen on my phone to read each line individually, paying particular attention to some sort of pattern in the beginning letters.\n\n\034It could be a reach, I could just be making something out of nothing, but I don\031t know guys,\035 Jeff spoke in a foreboding, almost frightful tone.\n\nJust when he said it, it hit me right then and there. It did spell out something. But Jeff showed us another page that he\031d typed out anyways, this time spelling it out in clear English for us, the first letters of each line stacked atop one another.\n\n\034Oh my God,\035 I muttered under my breath, chilled to the bone.\n\n*H*\n\n*E*\n\n*L*\n\n*P*\n\n*U*\n\n*S*\n\n*Y*\n\n*O*\n\n*U*\n\n*C*\n\n*A*\n\n*N*\n\n*E*\n\n*N*\n\n*D*\n\n*T*\n\n*H*\n\n*I*\n\n*S*\n\n*Help us. You can end this.*
## Any easy/sleek tool for making a private offline wiki? I've been passionately building up this world and story for over a year now, though it's scrambled across many text files on my computer. I've tried organizing it the best I could, though I can't get comfortable with it. I would try using word or pdf documents, but I feel like it would still be just as difficult to keep things clean with how many things there are to keep track of in this concept of mine.\n\nI look at sites like fandom wikis, and find the layout and organization so attractive. I find myself clicking through almost endlessly, so I wondered if you can make a fandom wiki that's completely private and offline? The answer was no, at least as far as I can tell.\n\nI tried searching for other ways to make a similar private wiki. the closest I was able to find was mediawiki, which looks a little too complicated to use to be worth it, and other 'personal wiki' programs that look more like basic note organizers rather than wiki tools.\n\nIf there's a program you know of that might be what I'm looking for, I would greatly appreciate your input.
## Friend on 500ug LSD accidentally took 600 mg of DXM and had a crazy ego death. This is gonna be my first trip report ever so sorry if its not very typical. Im gonna do a trip report of my trip and try to explain my friends trip a bit.\n\nThis all took place like 4 days ago. Me and 3 friends, lets call them Chris, Bam and Chanel (not their real names), planned on tripping on some LSD at Bams place. Chris had the LSD and had to work till 4 at that day. So in his lunch break we met up and he gave me enough LSD to get me to 500ug Bam to 375 ug and Chanel to 200ug. On the way to Bams place i picked up 600 mg of DXM so that me and Chris could both be on 500ug of LSD and 300mg of DXM.\n\nSo now me, Chanel and Bams were just chilling at his place.\n\nEven tho Chris had to work till 4 we proceeded to simultaneously drop at 2:45 Pm.\n\n**T+1h:** \nBecause me and Chris dropped a fairly high dose it started kicking fast and hard and Chris asked me if i could pick him up from work because he didnt want to come alone because he would be too high to catch the right bus. So i did it.\n\n**T+2h:** \nChris's work is basically right in the city center and Bams place is fairly far when going by bus, so i finally arrive at the point we were supposed to meet and through the bus window i see Chris's big ass smile and i just know the we are already high as shit.\n\n**T+2:45h:** \nWe finally arrive ad Bams place and start tripping hard, it was a nasty day it was snowing a bit it was cold as shit and just wet. so we mostly chilled inside besides smoking cigarettes. We planned on taking the DXM at the 3 hour mark so i put it on the table.\n\n**T+3h:** \nI told Chris he should take out his part of the DXM, what would've been 10 pills and i went to the toilet. We already done LSDXM a couple of times but never with this high of a dose of LSD. I assume Chris got confused and stupidly took all of it. This Motherfucker. I came back from the toilet and saw a completely empty pill storage and asked where mine where, Chris was already so high he couldnt really communicate. I dont know why but i could clearly think and Chris was basically so out that he took all of the pills. From that point on Me and Bams already knew this would be a stressful night.\n\n**T+4h:** \nMe, Bams and Chanel were smoking outside. Chris would've been smoking with us but he was already gone, ego deathing hard as fuck. i was looking inside to keep an eye on Chris, i see him taking a glass of water and accidentally spilling it on his pants. In his state he freaks out because of the water and strips off his clothes, form the stomached own he was nude lol. He was still freaking out and running around in the house, if you have ever tried to hold someone tight against his will, ego deathing, you know how much actual power there is in a human being. Me and Bams put him in a separate room and i kept an eye him. Chanel is a girl so naturally she thought Chris stripped nude because of her and i was the only one who saw what actually happened.\n\nBams and Chanel are a couple so naturally they together went upstairs, called me and told me to clean up and keep an eye on him because Chanel couldnt be around him anymore so that wouldnt happen again. Dont forget i was also tripping fucking balls at this point, i tried to explain what really happened but that shit was hard not gonna lie.\n\n**T+4.30h:** \nI cleaned up the mess Chris made, put his pants and underwear in the washer and gave him some new ones. Chris calmed down and i put a series that he was watching on his phone on, he \ncertainly didnt understand shit from the series but it calmed him down a lot. Chris is seriously addicted to nicotine so in his ego death state he wanted cigs all the time, so i just gave him one but didnt light it and that also calmed him down. I finally managed to explain what really happened and Bams and Chanel came back to us because being alone with an ego deathing person is boring as hell.\n\n**T+5h:** \nSome couple other friend came around. they were all one some Valium and weed and other shit (sadly their basically addicts). we hung out listened to music and Chris was just wondering around like a zombie basically, saying random fucking words. At one point Bams was chilling on the couch and Chris proceeds to sit on him put a leg on him and say: "aye pericoooo" obviously we laughed so fucking hard at that because that guy isnt even from Spain XD. \nI also sold the last 2 Tabs of acid to one of the guys for 20 Bucks so we could go buy cigs.\n\n**T+6h:** \nThe other guys left and now its just me, Bams, Chanel and Chris again . \nMe and Bams did a modern warfare 1v1 on King with spr only (for anyone that is interested) and i completely destroyed (25 to 8) him even tho i was on 500ug of LSD and could barely talk correctly. \nWe chilled listened to music and just tripped basically.\n\n**T+8h:** \nI dont Know how anymore but we realized that Chris was slowly coming back from his state. He was still tripping harder than any of us but he was responsive at this point.\n\n**T+9h:** \nWe asked Chris what the actual fuck happened to him and even why he took so many pills and he didnt know shit. he couldnt remember why he took so much or anything. He couldnt even remember that there were other people than us four at some point. Shit was divinely wild in his head. He repeatedly wanted me to promise him that we never do that shit again and i agreed instantly because keeping an eye on him wasnt fun either.\n\n**T+10h:** \nWe watched the Lil Peep documentary and proceeded to just chill out. At some point me and Bams went to buy cigarettes and we did some smoke breaks.\n\n**T+12h:** \nAt this point it was almost 3 am so we decided to go to sleep, i gave everyone a melatonin pill and said good night.\n\n**T 7:30 am:** \nI was the only one who had to go to work the next day so with 5 hours of sleep i cleaned up a bit and left for work. So sadly i couldnt talk to the sober Chris and let him explain everything a bit more clearly to me. \nSo yeah 500ug of LSD and 600mg of DXM is a lot. I texted with Chris and mentally right now hes doing completely fine and is just sad he couldnt "be with us" on that evening.\n\nthanks for reading lol
## UK 'plot homes' inspired by the Dutch self-build village of Almere Fascinating and well-researched article about efforts to build better UK houses...\n\nNL: \n[https://www.amsterdamwoont.nl/en/actueel/build-your-dream-home-in-almere-14-more-self-build-plots-available-in-the-village-of-nobelhorst/](https://www.amsterdamwoont.nl/en/actueel/build-your-dream-home-in-almere-14-more-self-build-plots-available-in-the-village-of-nobelhorst/)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nUK: \ntop class research by Ella Jessel, full text vs paywall, **copyright** ellajessel architectsjournal\n\n*A council in Oxfordshire set out to challenge mediocre mass housing by creating a self-build haven. But is it losing its way? Ella Jessel visits Graven Hill.*\n\n*A white mansion with imposing pillars stands grandly next to a row of brick terraces. Nearby there is a Poundbury-style traditional cottage, a black house and a smattering of modern chalets with big glass windows. Someone even has their own green wall.*\n\n*On any other new housing development, such an architectural jumble would be discouraged, if not prohibited. But Graven Hill in Oxfordshire \023 the UK\031s largest self and custom build site \023 is a giant petri dish for design. It\031s an audacious bid by Cherwell District Council to turn an ex-army base near Bicester into a community of 1,900 homes.*\n\n*Since the first \030pioneers\031 arrived in a bare field in 2015, their tumultuous journeys documented on the Grand Designs spin-off The Street, hundreds of brave builders have moved to Graven Hill to have a crack at building their \030dream homes\031.* ***Inspired by the Dutch*** *self-build village of Almere, the development set out to be an antidote to the UK\031s swathes of \030cookie cutter\031 homes built by volume housebuilders.*\n\n*Today, 400 homes have been completed. As entire streets rise from the rubble, the development offers plenty of fodder for the ongoing national debate over what constitutes \030good\031 design, not to mention insight into the innate human desire to \030build big\031 (even if it means losing your own garden). It is eye-popping, bizarre and in places \023 as popular Graven Hill designer Charlie Luxton puts it \023 utterly \030joyous\031.*\n\n*But as with all experiments, there are stumbling blocks. Some residents and architects fear Graven Hill\031s latest new-build homes veer sharply away from its original experimental ethos. There is concern, too, over the build quality of its affordable housing, consigned to rows of small terraced houses, as well as frustration at the lack of community facilities.*\n\n*Graven Hill is being seen as a test case for self-build in the UK. Unlike countries such as Austria and Germany, where over half of all homes are custom built, the sector accounts for just 13,000 homes a year in Britain. Amid calls for the government to help scale up the industry, what lessons can be learned from Graven Hill?*\n\n*The first of many striking things about the site is its sheer size. Cherwell Council bought the 188ha plot from the Ministry of Defence in 2014. A short drive from Bicester Village, it has its own wetland, a wooded hill formerly used for cross-country training and is surrounded by farmland.*\n\n*Unsurprisingly, the self-build bonanza is a magnet for architects keen to fulfil ambitions to design their own homes.*\n\n*After deciding to dedicate the site to self-build, Cherwell drew up a business case and set up the wholly-owned Graven Hill Village Development Company (GHVDC) to run it. In 2015, Glenn Howells Architects drew up a masterplan that included a primary school, to be designed by Architype, a nursery and a community centre as well as shops, cafés and a pub.*\n\n*It had design codes for 11 character areas, such as \030tree-lined boulevards\031 and \030urban lanes\031, and detailed \030plot passports\031 including roof and façade material palettes, as well as maximum build heights and parking space requirements. An early batch of 10 plots was released to the 10 \030pioneer\031 residents at a cut price of £100,000 each.*\n\n*Walking around the self-build streets, the houses have far more variation than a standard housing development. But while there are zany moments \023 a stripey beach-hut house with a giraffe model lying in the driveway \023 most people have played it safer with muted colour palettes of greys and blues, oversized windows and a rash of garages.*\n\n*Unsurprisingly, the self-build bonanza is a magnet for architects keen to fulfil ambitions to design their own homes. After the \030pioneers\031, Justin Metcalfe, an associate at Purcell, and his wife Catherine were first to sign up, reserving a three-to-four bed plot in a \030rural lanes\031 character area near the site entrance for £139,000.*\n\n*\030We looked locally around Bicester and found a limited choice of three or four-bed homes around £400,000 to £500,000,\031 he says. \030Graven Hill provided a trade-off between affordability and taking on the risk of an untested housing delivery model.\031*\n\n*Justin and Catherine Metcalfe outside their self\021build home with a Charlie Luxton-designed self-build on the right*\n\n*Metcalfe designed a tall detached family home with timber-clad façade, an open-plan living and kitchen area and a large top-floor master bedroom. Planning permission was \030relatively straightforward\031, he says, as a local development order for the site means designs are usually waved through in 28 days. Under its \030Golden Brick\031 set-up, Graven Hill built the foundations at a cost of £37,000 and then the couple project managed the build themselves with help from friends and family. In total, it cost them £435,000.*\n\n*Robert DuNoyer, another architect, has realised his teenage dream of building himself a house, and used an insulated concrete formwork system clad in different materials. With his brother and a neighbour he spent two and a half years building; even pouring the concrete.*\n\n*He enjoyed it so much, he is now picking up design work from other self-builders on site. \030I\031m getting work through word of mouth and carving out a niche,\031 he says. \030I like trying to make the client happy. I get a kick out of helping self-builders.\031*\n\n*There are still no amenities on site. The shops remain boarded up and the pub is now uncertain*\n\n*But self-build is not easy and the slow pace of delivery has led Graven Hill to \030evolve\031 its original approach. \030Even delivering the first 10 \034pioneers\035 didn\031t happen the way we expected it to,\031 says GHVDC managing director Karen Curtin (one is still not yet finished). \030It became very clear that if we were going to stick to just doing self-build, we would be waiting till 2050 to deliver the site.\031*\n\n*There are still no amenities on site. The community centre is a planning obligation only triggered once the development reaches a certain number of occupations. The shops remain boarded up (though a licensed café has just been announced) and the pub is now uncertain, with GHVDC saying it has struggled to find an operator given the challenges of the pandemic. It is now proposing changes to the masterplan.*\n\n*Metcalfe says tenants are desperately needed to ensure the local centre becomes a thriving hub and believes GHVDC has added responsibility to be \030custodians for the community\031, especially as self-builders are preoccupied with their self-build plots.*\n\n*To keep the development on track, the company opted to \030diversify\031 its product offer and began delivering its own custom-build homes. But this put it on a collision course with some of the self-builders, who say it is building exactly the type of \030identikit\031 housing they were seeking to escape.*\n\n*\030You can make some changes to the internal layout, but the \\[GHVDC\\] homes are not really custom-build,\031 says Paul Troop, a lawyer and one of the \030pioneer\031 builders who made his own house from scratch with sustainable materials such as hempcrete. He and most of his neighbours objected to a row of GHVDC-designed houses being built on plots originally designated as self-build.*\n\n*He says Graven Hill was created to offer an \030alternative way of building\031 but instead it is now building \030standard\031 homes. \030It\031s a real missed opportunity because there is much that is really good about Graven Hill, and it\031s much better than most developments,\031 he remarks.*\n\n*Troop\031s neighbour Lynn Pratt had a tumultuous journey building her \030Pangolin\031 home with an oast house-inspired roundel, designed by Oxford-based Adrian James Architects. She loves her home but says the frustrations over Graven Hill\031s new direction have left her feeling as if she \030bought into a dream that now isn\031t happening\031. Pratt adds that prices are out of reach for most people, now that the larger plots cost £245,000 without foundations, and that the smaller plots are no longer available.*\n\n*Tom Bennett, an associate at London practice Studio Bark, says in the early stages it was exciting to be involved in a \030democratic\031 project that confronted the \030banality and mediocrity\031 of so many new housing estates. Studio Bark\031s black box house next to Pratt\031s \023 dubbed the \030Marmite house\031 by its neighbours \023 was a chance to flex the practice\031s creative skills and was the first project to use its U-Build modular system, designed with circular-economy principles.*\n\n*But Bennett says it appears the experimental ethos has \030gone by the wayside\031 and that self-build is no longer front and centre. \030Many of the more generic homes that have sprung up in the time since would not be out of place on a conventional estate of the type that Graven Hill was supposed to be challenging,\031 he argues.*\n\n*Curtin insists the houses it is building are \030custom-build\031 and do not all look the same. She is sympathetic to the self-builders, who, she says, have been up in the \030wilderness\031 on their own (an access road to the main site has still not been built) but argues that if the development isn\031t built, the amenities won\031t arrive. \030What some of our self-builders would like \023 and this is where you get the tensions \023 is for every house to be different,\031 she says.*\n\n*These are issues elsewhere on site, including its affordable housing element, where little effort has been made to make it tenure-blind. The first phase of 93 affordable homes are in small terraces that contrast starkly with the blingy self-builds. Residents there say it has led to a palpable sense of socio-economic divide across the scheme.*\n\n*There are also concerns over the build quality of the homes built by GHVDC. Residents in some of the shared ownership units, who wished to remain anonymous, are challenging the company over air-tightness which, they say, is causing top-floor bedrooms to be freezing in winter and boiling in summer. They claim independent tests show air leakage is significantly in excess of the rate given on their energy performance certificates.*\n\n*Passivhaus builder Beattie Passive, which built 49 homes for Graven Hill, is no longer working for the company. Its founder Ron Beattie told the AJ that, while he \030took his hat off\031 to Graven Hill for what it was trying to achieve, its margins were too tight and the programme was \030pushed to the limit\031.*\n\n*In response, GHVDC says all contractors had determined the cost and programme to deliver works. As for the shared ownership homes, it says all tests carried out met performance standards that were significantly above Building Regulations.*\n\n*Graven Hill is not getting everything right but experts in the UK\031s self-build sector point out it is being held to higher standards than most developers, and that it does not have the backing of an established industry, as schemes would in mainland Europe.*\n\n*\030Graven Hill is as successful as the typical average housebuilder in an environment that is still completely hostile to self-build,\031 says Tory MP Richard Bacon, whose report last year urged the government to scale up the sector and give people an alternative to housing \030designed by accountants\031. He says the future of self-build is in lots of small sites dotted across the country with a \030plot shop\031 in every local planning authority.*\n\n*Graven Hill\031s residents \023 already a tight-knit group thanks to their arduous building journeys \023 are adamant the scheme can recapture its experimental spirit. All it needs is a little more design expertise, and to mine one of its greatest assets: the existing community\031s energy and creativity.*\n\n*As Troop says: \030I\031ve been blown away by the number of people who are interested in helping fix things, and getting things done. If Graven Hill harnessed it, they could do really, really well.\031*\n\ncopyright ellajessel architectsjournal
## Can anyone tell me what is on page 135 of "Resident Evil Archives"? **SOLVED**\n[*See bottom*]\n\n**BACKGROUND**\nI'm doing a *thing* where I need all the heights and weights of the S.T.A.R.S. members. So I go to the RE Wiki and everything is fine until... Until I get to the S.T.A.R.S. BRAVO Pilot, one Edward Dewey.\n\nAll the wikis I found have him labeled as 247 lbs with no further explanation given... Wat?\nGranted it also lists him as 6"4, so, already a *bit of a lad*. But even when taking his height into account, that still puts him at *medically obese*.\n\nAn obese S.T.A.R.S. member?\nI mean, it could just be a lot of muscle, but uh... He doesn't look Dwayne Johnson jacked... Which is about what he would have to be to reach a BMI that high with just muscle.\n\nSo what gives?\n\n**QUESTION**\nThe wikis all cite **Resident Evil Archives P. 135** as their source.\nI would love to verify this myself, but I don't have a copy and I can't seem to find a PDF online.\n\nWould someone who has the book (or knows where to find a PDF) please let me know what Page 135 actually has printed on it?\n\nI am really curious to know if his currently listed weight is an error that everyone just went along with, or if the book might actually explain why he is so big.\n\nThank you in advance!\n\n**PAGE 135***\nThe page contains quick blurbs of several S.T.A.R.S. members, including Edward Dewey.\n\nNot only is the weight listed on the wikis correct, but the bit of text describing him even mentions his "*imposing frame*".\n\nA big thank you to User 'No_Reply_8557' for solving this little mystery of mine!
## Lesbian, First Time Pregnant, Alone I could really use some emotional advice. I'm having a really hard time with my pregnancy and wondering if I made a mistake. Not that I can do anything about it now but, here goes. \n\nMy wife and I are in our mid 30s. A good friend of ours offered to be our sperm donor. As luck would have it, I got pregnant on the first try and my wife and I were over the moon with joy. \n\nThat was 8 weeks ago. \n\nIn that time, my mother died a horrible death. My estranged grandfather died the same day and I didn't even know he was sick. My bipolar (and only) sibling stole money from me then called the police on me telling them I had killed myself (???) and when I confronted her after she blocked me and my wife on everything. My dad is a mean, irresponsibly alcoholic who lives 5 hours away. I have no other family left besides an indifferent uncle. \n\nI was hoping my in-laws would be excited for us but the opposite has proven true. My father in law thinks our gay marriage is "a joke" (he actually said this at the wedding). My mother in law resents me for "stealing" her daughter away. My brother in law and his wife show no interest in me, not sure why because we seem to get along in person. But they didn't even message me when my mom died to give condolences. When my wife asked her brother why he didn't reach out to me to say sorry or something he said "it would have been disingenuous so I didn't say anything ". Talk about a knife to the heart. They also live across the country and in the 6 years my wife and I have been together they have never ONCE come to see us. We have to fly to them to have any relationship. Neither of them have told me congratulations on the pregnancy. But they constantly talk to my wife about their new pregnancy. It hurts. Why am I nothing?\n\nYes, Sister in law is pregnant with their 2nd child, she just announced it this week. Instantly I am overshadowed. Our baby is not their bloodline. Why should they care? They are raving about the sister in law's new pregnancy. My father in law is flying across the country to see them. Mother in law is flying across the country for their current kid's birthday. They never see us, even if invited. I am invisible. \n\nWe texted the ultrasound picture to her family and got a gif in response and "neat". Nothing. Crickets. \n\nHow can I bring a baby into this world, a world that has rejected it before it's even born? I feel selfish for inflicting my desires of parenthood on this baby. I wanted to give my child a life better than mine, free from neglect and abandonment and rejection. The life I have lived. I have doomed my baby to the same lonely unwanted existence I grew up having. I am very resentful of myself right now. I do not like myself right now. Sometimes I wish I weren't gay as much as I hate to say it. Things would be so much easier. More people might love me. \n\nI wish I knew what to change to make my in laws love me. Maybe if I was less fat? Funnier? Smarter? Wealthier? I once overheard my mother in law talking about me and my family on the phone and she said "oh her family is all white trash". I know how she sees me and yet. I kept hoping. It would be nice to have some sort of mother figure. MIL once told me that my wife could never love me. It haunts me. \n\nI miss my mom. I feel empty without her. I hate how much she suffered. She eventually forgot my name, how to speak, eat. She was only 57. I even miss my crappy mean sibling. I miss the sober dad I never had. How was it that 8 weeks ago I was happier than I've ever been and now I hate myself? Does this get better? \n\nI told my wife my feelings and now she's in the other room crying about herself. I have no one to talk to. My feelings are a plague. Is this all hormones, or reality? Can I raise a baby with no family support on either side? \n\nI am so tired all the time and sick to my stomach. All I can do is cry and feel sorry for myself. Pathetic, I know. Hoping someone can give me some advice to help me back on a positive path. Thank you for your time.
## Another best friend dilemma I (17F) know her inside and out. Her vulnerabilities, insecurities, relationships to family and other friends...it's only been nine months, but since we text so much it wasn't difficult for this person to become a staple in my life, as I am one in hers.\n\nI figure I am a bit on the ace spectrum because I think I've been sexually attracted to someone once in my entire life (specifically, Eduardo from The Social Network). However, my romantic crushes have usually been quite shallow (the worst one probably being this one pianist whose language I didn't even understand, I just liked the way he played and his speaking voice and his features).\n\nAnd this girl...I've never questioned our platonic relationship before, except that she started dating this guy recently (her first romantic experience) and all of a sudden she's all I can think about. I've developed sensual attraction to her. I am seeing her good qualities with newfound appreciation; the glasses are mildly rose coloured. When she's sad, I have the newfound urge to bury her into my arms until the sadness is gone, or brainstorm extravagant gift ideas to show her how much she is loved. Sometimes I wonder about kissing her, though I don't want to have sex.\n\nIt's occurred to me that I'm pretty much emotionally monogamous with her. She's my go-to texter, and I wouldn't start an emotional relationship with anyone else because I have her. Consequently, I also can't imagine starting a romantic relationship with anyone else, because I feel like there'd be an emotional prerequisite. It wouldn't be a big stretch to initiate romance, all we'd have to do is go out more and label them dates and be more touchy with each other, all of which I would welcome.\n\nEven though she admits she'll never be as close emotionally with this guy as she is with me, her idea of romance doesn't have that emotional prerequisite. She likes feeling desired and she likes the physical intimacy, and she fulfils her emotional needs elsewhere (with me). That brought me a lot of comfort for a while ("no need to be jealous, you're still irreplaceable to her") but even knowing that I remain her confidante I find that I am still bothered.\n\nCurious thing here is that none of this intense questioning started until I started reckoning with the idea of her in a relationship that isn't mine. I know she has other close friendships but I am not jealous of those because I feel like even if she's known those close friends longer and is therefore more familiar with them, I know her deeper. I can better empathize with her thoughts.\n\nThis guy isn't a threat to deepness either, but the idea of him being with her bothers me. It may be the physical aspect or the implied monogamy of a romantic relationship or the time spent with him (even though she doesn't spend any less time with me. She has so much love to pass around, that one).\n\nI can't stand seeing them together. I want to steal her away or crush his dreams. Still, if she broke up with him, I don't know if these strange feelings would stick around. Maybe they would, and this brought them to my attention, or maybe this is pure jealousy that will be gone as soon as I have her back. Yet, I can't imagine a potential romantic relationship that, as long as I know her, isn't with her... \n\nAm I in love or am I jealous or do I just love her platonically? What am I even jealous of? Would I ever have felt like this if not for the guy? Why is it that this specific experience is so characteristically demiromantic but my past crushes haven't been? What do I do with myself?
## Factorio Community Map - April 2022 **What is this?**\n\nThe idea behind the monthly community map is to share a map exchange string at the beginning of every month, and get as many people as we can to start a new world with it. Then at the end of the month (or even periodically if you'd prefer!) we share screenshots and saves of our factories so that we can see how different people approach the same spawn; how they set up their base, how they deal with aliens, and how they arrange their science, power, and everything else.\n\nI hope it can highlight how many different ways there are to do things, inspire some new designs, and maybe seeing how veteran Factorio players tackle problems will help out new players facing the exact same problems. (Of course, there's also the fact that it'll be interesting to see all of the different possible factories - the good, the bad, and the ugly.)\n\n**Last Month's Results**\n\n[March 2022 Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu0c46/factorio_community_map_results_march_2022)\n\n**The Community Map**\n\nAnother month, another map! And as promised, I have quite the interesting family of mods for this month's map. Drum roll please!\n\n...\n\nAAI Vehicles! It's such a large family of mods with such a deep, interlinked system, I always felt a bit intimidated by it, and as such, I never wound up using them. But if I never use them, I never become familiar with them, and the cycle continues. So I won't be using *all* of the AAI mods, but instead just a handful to help get acquainted with them. But that brings me to the next point:\n\n*~~I wound up having to modify quite a few of the settings for these mods - both the AAI mods and a couple others I threw in. If you're not familiar with why that's problematic, it's because not only would I have to go through each option I modified and list it here next to the mod it belongs to, but then all of you would have to go through and, one by one, change your settings to match mine. Sounds like a pain, right?~~*\n\n*~~So while I will list them all here, just so you can see them, I strongly suggest you skip past all this and just download the mod/settings sync file available under the exchange string.~~*\n\n>( a° \\<U+0096> a°) \n> \n>You've been pranked. Deceived. Quite possibly bamboozled! But now that the day of trickery has come to an end, I have a confession to make. \n> \n>While the cycle of trees into biters into burning, exploding trees and sometimes large rocks or cliffs was one of the most amazing and terrible combinations of mods I've ever seen and may well be my magnum opus of terrible maps - this is not the real map for April. \n> \n>Shocking, I know. Contain your dismay for a moment. This map shall be preserved for posterity behind a spoiler tag, so should you wish to give it a try in the future, it will still be available to you. If you would like a look at what this map could be like, here's a screenshot of mine from roughly five minutes after I'd started: [https://i.imgur.com/8FtUDwk.png](https://i.imgur.com/8FtUDwk.png) \n> \n>But now is time to stop looking to yesterday, and instead look towards tomorrow! ...Or today, rather. I hope you all had a good laugh at this stupid map I spent too much time gathering mods for, and enjoy the real AAI map - I *do* actually think it will be a fun mod and a fun map, so without further ado...\n\nWith all that said, here's the list!\n\n**Required mods:**\n\n[Informatron](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/informatron)\n\n[AAI Signals](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-signals)\n\n[AAI Programmable Vehicles](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-programmable-vehicles)\n\n[AAI Vehicles: Chaingunner](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-vehicles-chaingunner)\n\n[AAI Vehicles: Miner](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-vehicles-miner)\n\n[AAI Industry](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/aai-industry)\n\n>!Biter Reincarnation!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Turn to tree chance: 100!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to burning tree chance: 100!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to rock chance: 50!< \n> \n>>!\\- Turn to cliff chance: 30!< \n> \n>>!\\- Max reincarnations per second: 20!< \n> \n>>!\\- Max reincarnation queued seconds: 10!<\n\n>!Exploding Trees!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Exploding Tree probability: 100!<\n\n>!I speak for the trees! v1.1!<\n\n>!Settings: Map:!<\n\n>>!\\- Spawn Probability: 100!<\n\n>!Toxic Forest!<\n\n>!Settings: Startup:!<\n\n>>!\\- Clear Radius: 128!<\n\n>!Exchange string:!<\n\n>>!\\>>>eNp1Uz2IE0EUnmcuXHIHckUKBT1TXKOwYROV06CZsRAR0e5q3Wwm MrC7E2d3xdPCFFcqNjYK4rXm4DoLu4AgCgqHYmF3YqGFyolyNkKcmc1 s9lbvwXv7zXvf+5vdBQTopFQpfay0NOVyx0NoKE8Erw0GeMblvR4VFh c06y67Iu5Qi7OdZBpQf9lqOyE1FXVVJniQr1AMIx7s9ESC0lDOQhJvH 8/GwglY7OdzEWwvnkb9lXmto9uoOhoplWhT5itF0F8bHGkhkL6xTO1z eRAJ7lkhjSIWXG068Y1mmzlhya7Vj9tSDuYZPmdhFAuqaWXLrtmaZ+3 K6wp6LaaBu9z0Yy9iPY9RUWrUbC1l6tHrTsR4MGtfri9aLPScoFN0Pd btIlQ9s7T0Xu1OAMGtyvq5jzfvY0hmr5Ex2Bp7hm3jOW/AJbJraMGAY 5k6R7X8zICkaSRbjFklMgFJcEUFAe5+e7r6+8VGC/48+fH2YvsKhvrZ yvetxnpLBqfV9e9JzcMHSp6ZVZCpuYnHoQ8Y3rxW8hVDUWVUlCEnpBl eKCCY2yvR6h1pqgeQGa1lylQIdLVsm00+GfAO5/eQF3FKFZ9X5qUyum E6GSSQ3CNADpno/glF5jdQdobOZMNXpu3zTP/cIP++iOweOc8C+c9rm FENO6n5Ukinkfe5MW1O5DGBggKK9Uv6klPydyWlkucc0deto+lngz4/ Ouz/BXV14AU=<<<!<\n\n>!What your starting area should look like: https://i.imgur.com/0IVPY7b.jpg!<\n\n>!Sync File (Recommended): https://drive.google.com/file/d/17molFwRnsHKapvmSuWS6Evtllww7TDj0/view?usp=sharing!<\n\n>!See, I wasn't kidding - it's a lot. But I also think it'll be a lot of fun, and I hope you guys all enjoy - I know I certainly will! Looking forward to what you guys think of this one!!<\n\nThe **real** Exchange String:\n\n>\\>>>eNpjZGBksARiIGiwZ2A4YM/BkpyfmAPkAnkMDiBRruT8goLUIt38 olSgiD1EYYM9Z3JRaUqqbn4mquLUvNTcSt2kxGIUxRyZRfl56CawFpf k56GKlBSlphaDzFu9ahVYhLu0KDEvszQXohdhDwOjlACQbpED4//1DA r//4MwkPUAqAaEGRgbICqBYlDAKJucn1dSlJ+jW5xaUpKZl26Vm59ZX FJalGqVlJlYzGGgZ2RqAASsyTmZaWkMDAqOQOwE1snIWC2yzv1h1RR7 RohZeg5QxgeoyIEkmIgnjOHngFNKBcYwQTLHGAw+IzEglpYArYCq4nB AMCCSLSBJRsbet1sXfD92wY7xz8qPl3yTEuwZDV1F3n0wWmcHlGQHeY EJTsyaCQI7YV5hgJn5wB4qddOe8ewZEHhjz8gK0iECIhwsgMQBb2YGR gE+IGtBD5BQkGGAOc0OZoyIA2MaGHyD+eQxjHHZHt0fwICwARkuByJO gAiwhXCXMUKYDv0OjA7yMFlJhBKgfiMGZDekIHx4EmbtYST70RyCGRH I/kATUXHAEg1cIAtT4MQLZrhrgOF5gR3Gc5jvwMgMYoBUfQGKQXiQFA 0xCkILOICDGyYLTRviT5sWAQCzNKmk<<<\n\nWhat your starting area should **really** look like: [https://i.imgur.com/IG8JsVK.png](https://i.imgur.com/IG8JsVK.png)\n\n**Actual** Sync File: [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd4Kx5uZl1is3-CVATU-gDmVojWp3uzL/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vd4Kx5uZl1is3-CVATU-gDmVojWp3uzL/view?usp=sharing)\n\nAll right, go have fun with your fancy RC cars. I'm looking forward to seeing how the chaingunner works personally, so I think I'm gonna go get on that. Later\\~\n\n**Exchange String Help**\n\nIf anyone isn't sure how to use an exchange string, just go to new game like you're going to generate a new world, and at the bottom there's a button just above play labelled "Import map exchange string" - the icon looks like a little arrow going into a tray/bucket. Just copy the exchange string above and paste it into the box that comes up when you press that button. Press confirm, and that's it! You're good to go. Just generate the world and come back in a month to show us how your factory turned out!\n\nIf you run into any issues check to make sure that you copied the whole string, including the three greater than/lesser than signs at the beginning and end, and make sure that your Factorio is up to date with the most recent version installed. (As of the time of this post, **the most recent version of Factorio is 1.1.57**.)\n\n**Having Issues With The Sync File?**\n\nIf you're uncertain how to use the sync file I provided above, here are step by step instructions:\n\n**1)** First, of course, is to download the file. Make sure you know where this file is so you can move it later. (It will be in your browser's default download folder unless you've changed it.) **2)** Locate where Factorio's save folder is on your computer. If you've installed Factorio at its default location ( C:\\\\Program Files\\\\Factorio) then there will be a shortcut to your saves folder there called "saves". Double-click it to go to the saves folder. **3)** Take the file you downloaded and move it into this folder.\n\nThat should be it! Now just launch Factorio and make sure you sync your mods to this save before playing. If you'd like to play on this save specifically (for example, if this month has some per-save settings you don't feel like messing with) then you'll notice when you load the map normally your player will be named "ChaosBeing" (since I'm the one who started the save, of course). To get around this, you can host it as a local multiplayer game and then save. You should now appear as your own character when you load the map from now on!\n\nIf you have any issues, feel free to ask in the comments below, or in the monthly map's channel on the official Factorio Discord.\n\n**Want To Play With Others?**\n\nIf you have an open public server, let me know in the comments below or send me a PM and I'll add your server here!\n\nOur MVP strikes again, with a lightning fast server ready to go! Especially on this one, if the setup seems like a hassle, go join someone who's already got it done for you! See [his comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu27i0/comment/i31df9m) below for details.\n\n**Feel Like Watching Someone Else?**\n\nIf you are a streamer or let's player who will be recording yourself building a new factory on a community map, I'd be happy to add a link to your channel here!\n\n**About Mods**\n\nSince mods can affect how a world spawns and ores are distributed, as well as add or change items and functionality, it's important to make sure that we're all playing the same game by the same rules. For example, if one person's playing vanilla and someone else is playing with Bob's mods, even if they use the same seed and map settings you still couldn't very well say they were playing the same game, and the way they'd play would differ enormously.\n\nOn the other hand, playing with mods that either don't add any new items or change terrain, or that simply don't change the base game in a significant way, aren't going to change the way you solve problems or the kinds of problems you'll face themselves. As such, these sorts of mods are perfectly fine, even if some people are playing with them and some people aren't.\n\n[Even Distribution](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/321freddy/even-distribution) is a wonderful example of a mod that, while very useful, does not inherently change the way the game is played. Then there are also mods like [RadarPlus for RSO](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/kingarthur/radarplus%20for%20rso) that *do* add new items, but still don't really change the way the game is played.\n\nI've decided to put together a list of these optional mods that I think are ok to use on any map below. The list is by no means comprehensive; it simply serves as an example of the sorts of mods that should be fine.\n\n**Optional Mods**\n\nNote: I can't imagine any situation where this could be an issue, but if you're the author of one of the mods listed here (and can offer me some proof of this) and for whatever reason would like me to remove your mod from this post, I'd be happy to comply.\n\nIt's entirely possible some of these mods either don't work with the current version of Factorio, conflict with each other, or in some manner just don't work. I can't test them all, let alone every configuration of them, so you might want to back up your world before adding one of these.\n\n[Actual Craft Time](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Actual_Craft_Time)\n\n[Ammo Alerts](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Gun_Turret_Alerts)\n\n[Armor Plating](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/vtk-armor-plating)\n\n[Atomic Artillery](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/AtomicArtillery)\n\n[Auto Deconstruct](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/mindmix/AutoDeconstruct)\n\n[Auto Infinite Research](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/auto-infinite-research)\n\n[Automatic Underground Pipe Connectors (Continued)](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Automatic_Underground_Pipe_Connectors_Continued)\n\n[Bottleneck](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/trold/Bottleneck)\n\n[Caramelldansen Lab](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/party-lab)\n\n[Clock](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Bobingabout/clock)\n\n[Closest First Updated](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/ClosestFirstUpdated)\n\n[Color Coding](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/justarandomgeek/color-coding)\n\n[Companion Drones](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Companion_Drones)\n\n[Credo Time Lapse Mod 1.1](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/CredoTimeLapseModByGalapagon)\n\n[Dirt Path](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Dirt_Path)\n\n[Disco Science](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/DiscoScience)\n\n[Ekusplosion](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Ekusplosion)\n\n[Enhanced Map Colors](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/osldgoth/Enhanced_Map_Colors)\n\n[Even Distribution](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/321freddy/even-distribution)\n\n[EvoGUI](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Narc/EvoGUI)\n\n[Extended Descriptions](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/extended-descriptions)\n\n[FARL](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/FARL)\n\n[fCPU](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/fcpu)\n\n[FindMyBody](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/findmybody)\n\n[FNEI](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/npo6ka/FNEI)\n\n[Gah! DarnItWater!](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/DaCyclops/GDIW)\n\n[Helmod](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Helfima/helmod)\n\n[HandyHands - Automatic handcrafting](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/HandyHands)\n\n[Kruise Kontrol](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Kruise_Kontrol)\n\n[Landfill Everything](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/LandfillEverything)\n\n[Logistic Gun Turret](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Logistic-Gun-Turret)\n\n[Long Reach](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Geend/long-reach)\n\n[LTN - Logistics Train Network](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/LogisticTrainNetwork)\n\n[Manual Inventory Sorting](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/theRustyKnife/manual-inventory-sort)\n\n[Max Rate Calculator](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Theanderblast/MaxRateCalculator)\n\n[Module Inserter](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/ModuleInserter)\n\n[Nanobots: Early Bots](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Nexela/Nanobots)\n\n[Natural Tree Expansion Reloaded](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/NaturalTreeExpansionReloaded_016)\n\n[NiceFill](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/nicefill)\n\n[Nixie Tubes](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/nixie-tubes)\n\n[Orphan Finder](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/GotLag/Orphan%20Finder)\n\n[OSHA - Bot Recaller](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/OSHA_BotRecaller)\n\n[Picker Extended Version](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Nexela/PickerExtended)\n\n[Queue To Front](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/QueueToFrontNG)\n\n[RadarPlus For RSO](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/kingarthur/radarplus%20for%20rso)\n\n[Reactor Interface](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Reactor%20Interface)\n\n[Recursive Blueprints](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/recursive-blueprints)\n\n[Rewire Tool](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/rewire-tool)\n\n[Robot Battery Research](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Robot_Battery_Research)\n\n[Sensible Station Names](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/dewiniaid/SensibleStationNames)\n\n[Shield FX](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Shield-FX)\n\n[Shortwave](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/shortwave)\n\n[Signal Signs](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/SignalSigns)\n\n[Slower Quickreplace](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/ChCole/Slower_Quickreplace)\n\n[Spidertron Squad Control](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/Spider_Control)\n\n[Squeak Through](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Supercheese/Squeak%20Through)\n\n[Tackle's Autorun](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/tackleautorun)\n\n[Text Plates](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/textplates)\n\n[The FAT Controller](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Choumiko/TheFatController)\n\n[There Is My Ghost](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/there-is-my-ghost)\n\n[Train Supply Manager (TSM)](https://mods.factorio.com/mod/train-pubsub)\n\n[Underground Indicators](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Raeon/Underground%20Indicators)\n\n[Unminable Robots](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/tyrindor/UnminableRobots)\n\n[VehicleSnap](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Zaflis/VehicleSnap)\n\n[WaiTex](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/keyboardhack/WaiTex_Full)\n\n[What is it really used for?](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Coppermine/what-is-it-really-used-for)\n\n[YARM](https://mods.factorio.com/mods/Narc/YARM)\n\n**Previous Threads**\n\n**-- 2021 --**\n\n[April 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/mi7dsr/factorio_community_map_april_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/n2tabs/factorio_community_map_results_april_2021)\n\n[May 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/n2vvtw/factorio_community_map_may_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/nq6694/factorio_community_map_results_may_2021)\n\n[June 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/nq7hvc/factorio_community_map_june_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/obwy73/factorio_community_map_results_june_2021)\n\n[July 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/obyhe3/factorio_community_map_july_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/ow26n4/factorio_community_map_results_july_2021)\n\n[August 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/ow2wn2/factorio_community_map_august_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pfz5qw/factorio_community_map_results_august_2021)\n\n[September 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pg3snu/factorio_community_map_september_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pzeyrq/factorio_community_map_results_september_2021)\n\n[October-November 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/pzfywl/factorio_community_map_octobernovember_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/r6eb3i/factorio_community_map_results_octobernovember)\n\n[December 2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/r6w591/factorio_community_map_december_2021) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/rtmdne/factorio_community_map_results_december_2021)\n\n**-- 2022 --**\n\n[January-February 2022](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/rtor9h/factorio_community_map_januaryfebruary_2022) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/t4gsr0/factorio_community_map_results_januaryfebruary)\n\n[March 2022](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/t4ho7g/factorio_community_map_march_2022) \\- [Results](https://www.reddit.com/r/factorio/comments/tu0c46/factorio_community_map_results_march_2022)
## entitled parent tries to destroy friendship For firsts i am a 19 year old male. I had just turned 19 about a month ago, before that i made a post here about an old friend of mine betraying me. I brought him to the hospital after he nearly died, His mother made him say i caused his injury (it was a torn esophagus) I was mad and left. Then he tried telling me he was sorry for lying and wanted to still be friends. I said what he did was wrong and i would never do it. After that story i posted, Some of the people here said i should cut some slack and so i did.\n\nBefore my b-day i decided to contact him, I was blocked on all of his socials. He said even if i didn't want to be his friend it would still be cool to talk. I knew it was his mother, So i went to visit him in person. I went to his house with my friends and as i was pulling into his driveway. I saw a person running out the door. It was his mother and she was pissed. I crank down my window and she is screaming in my face "GET OFF MY FUCKING PROPERTY"\n\nCast: M = me | J = jake | A = Aaron | T = Tommy | M = Mark | EM = Entitled mother (all names are fake to keep things private and respectful)\n\nEM: GET OFF MY PROPERTY RIGHT NOW, MY HUSBAND IS A COP AND WILL ARREST FOR TRESPASSING!\n\nM: Listen here woman, Where is your son because i need to talk to him. Will you please calm down?\n\nA: It will only be a minute, We promise and when we are done, we will leave immediately.\n\nEM: You will not talk to my son at all, YOU HEAR ME?\n\nJake then comes out to see me and his mother "talking"\n\nJ: Mom whats goi- Rob? Is that you?\n\nM: Hi jake, I was just asking your mother if i cou-\n\nJ: Absolutely! Come on out, And mom? Can you leave us please?\n\nEM: You all have 5 minutes, Then i want you thugs gone.\n\nI bring him to the bed of my truck to show him a cupcake set in my tool chest. (Sounds sappy but at the moment i said screw it) He was happy and he asked "Yall forgive me?" Then i showed him to the front of the truck. Got down on my knee and gave him his favorite candy. Ring pop cherry. We all laughed and shook hands. EM Then came back and got real pissed.\n\nEM: Alright its been 5 minutes, Get out of here thugs.\n\nJ: mom, I am sick of your bullshit. Leave my friends alone and me as well.\n\nEM: What?\n\nJ: I saw rob text me offering to let me apologize, I was happy to see it. I decided to pack up and leave. I'm not coming back.\n\nEM: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?\n\nT: What he means is he wants to move out. Let him do so, Hes 20 years old. its his choice to make, Not yours.\n\nEM: BUT-\n\nA: Leave the kid be, He made his decision.\n\nJ: Bye mom, I hope you will understand.\n\nJake hops in my truck and we all leave, EM is shocked and never said a thing after that. Just 2 days ago, i got a call from his mother telling me she was sorry and wanted to see me and jake in person to talk. Jake said no, but i agreed saying, It should be ok. It was a good convo, We met up at a dunkin doughnuts. I gave my opinion and she took it great. She apologized and left.\n\nThen his father got mad at me, After being fired at worked. He blamed ME, I responded as nice as i can. "Look, Your son is 20. he is old enough to make his own decision. Leave him be please." He blocked me and i am still trying to get his stuff back from his parents. He was going to camp in my yard but i said "hell naw, I talked to my grandma. She wont mind you in the house. Just help out a bit and she wont mind"\n\nNow im making a plan within the next month or so. Me, Mark, jake, Tommy, Aaron will rent an apartment for a good amount of time with all the money we have. Its a decent sized apartment, 1 bed, 1 bath. Plenty of room for the 4 of us. Hopefully this should be all over soon and i hope this will end the drama.
## [5e/Scarlet Hero] Session 0 - Introduction The following post is the continuation of my [preparation process](https://www.reddit.com/r/Solo_Roleplaying/comments/two1pj/5e_scarlet_hero_preparation_and_necessary_for/) which I talked about earlier.When I first played my mash of 5e and Scarlet Heroes I didn't do it on camera, instead I wrote down all the rolls, while giving them some fictional flair. In a way my 5e game turned into Journal rpg, but the text itself is closer to what would you expect from Light Novel's I guess.\n\nI'm not sure I'm going to post all the entries from my journal, because I have a tendency to write about each roll in details, unless the community would be interested to read further.Which follows is an example of how can rolls be given a narrative flair.\n\nTo start out, after having a character and the possible outline of a setting (for me it was something a kin to Spelljammer but reflaffed somewhat through the vision of both Wizardry/Might and Magic fan and a Myst player) I needed some connection between the two elements. How can we integrate the character and the setting? Honestly, I had no idea, that\031s why I rolled on Adventure Tags that can be found in Scarlet Heroes, sixty adventure ideas are divided between three labels: Urban Adventure, Wilderness Adventure and Dungeon Adventure. I decided to roll one die (d6) to see from which table should I roll.\n\n1-2 Urban\n\n3-4 Wilderness\n\n5-6 Dungeon.\n\nAnd I rolled \0342\035. Which is actually good. Because, Urban adventures is the most strong part of the Scarlet Heroes ruleset in my opinion. So I roll d20 on the Adventure chartAnd I got \03418\035 \023 "Feuding families"Hmm&\n\n**Any story has a beginning. This one in particular started with a roar of engines and a yell. Though the yell came up first.**\n\n**\034HAROOOOOOOOLD!\035**\n\n**That was the only sound which I wished I hadn\031t have to hear.**\n\n**The worst thing however, was not someone, actually, was screaming my name at the top of his lungs&** \n\n***Yes, I\031m Harold, nice to meet you all, how are you all doing today?***\n\n**But I actually knew the one who was doing all the yelling.Ladies and gentlemen and, also readers, allow me to introduce you to my brother, - Ardet Kleid.**\n\n***And the only face I didn\031t wish to see that day.***\n\n**\034Yeh?\035 I could have just kept my trap shut, but instead, I indulged him. He is my brother, after all. Well, somewhat&**\n\n**\034We\031ve got problem.\035**\n\n***\034We?\035***\n\n**\034Fine,** ***I\031ve*** **got problem!\035**\n\n**\034You don\031t say\035 In all honesty, I can\031t actually remember a single day when Ardet was not neck-deep in troubles. And nine out of ten it was because of the women.**\n\n**\034Who was she this time?\035**\n\n**\034That\031s& not really important.\035 The barkeep grunted and I chuckled. You see? With an attitude of such it\031s no wonder that everyone wants his head, again, women specifically.**\n\n**Nevertheless, he continued.**\n\n**\034What really matters is her** ***brother&*****\035**\n\n**I waited him to continue. Ardet, however, kept a dramatic pause. Damn his dramatics.** \n\n **\034All right. I\031ll bite.** ***Who*** **is her brother?\035**\n\nWhile I was preparing for the adventure I've prepared a d66 table of random threats, whitch I called "BANG". \n\nI used it to find out who was Ardet running from.I got "snake eyes" - a roll of 11 \n\n**The roar of engines was the answer to my question. Though, I didn\031t think much of it at the time. In fact, I didn\031t look in my brother\031s eyes during the conversation. All my being, honestly, was interested in the stake that was oh so very close but out of reach in the hands of barkeep.**\n\n**\034Oh, not this again&\035** \n\n**The voice of a barkeep sounded both annoyed and desperate with her looking outside the window.**\n\n**\034Someone you don\031t want to see?\035**\n\n**\034Something I** ***wish*** **I didn\031t have to see anymore\035** \n\n**She turned her head acknowledging my presence. It took her afew seconds to register that she was still holding my order.**\n\n**\034Oh, sorry&\035** \n\n**Finally a plate with a steaming meat was right under my nose.**\n\n**\034Enjoy\035I was way ahead of her. I dig in as a hungry wolf.**\n\n**\034Mfankf!\035 I ate almost nothing yesterday for a whole day, so forgive me my lack of manners.** \n\n**That\031s precisely what barkeep did. If anything, she looked amused watching me butchering the meat. Even if she was far away in her thoughts. The same went to other patrons. They all looked at the door expecting the worst to come.And the worst announced its arrival kicking down the door. There were four of them walking into the bar, tough looking, sporting black leather. And louder that a pack of hunting dogs that got the scent of the fox.** **Speaking of the fox... I looked both sides, lazily. No trace of him, of course. He may be an idiot but not stupid enough to stand there and wait his certain death.**\n\nI gave Harold a chance to find where Ardet was Hiding.\\[Roll Ardet - Stealth: d20 + 3 = 4 vs. Harold\031s Passive Perception of 14\\]\n\n**I bet, he was hiding behind the barkeeps counter. Could have thought of something better, honestly&**\n\nThe roll of 11 on the "BANG" chart ment that a group of astral bikers walks into the bar.Then I roll for amount of people that entered the bar. I rolled 2d4 and got 4 (2+2)The next thing I do is ask the Orcale if that's all of them.\n\n\\[Is that all of them (Unknown)? Oracle answer: d20 = 3 \023 No!\\]\n\nThe next logical thing is to find out how many of them out there on the street, I roll 1d4 and get "4". Of course.\n\nThe next thing to determine is the attitude of the gang or rather their leader using the chart of Initial Attitude of Non-player character. Whom I detemined to be "Unfriendly".\n\nRoll of 2d6 gives me the result of "3" - Anger/Scorn. But of course.\n\n**\034Where is he?!\035 Roared the gang leader.**\n\n**\034Wferf fho?\035** \n\n**Too late I understood that I\031ve should have kept my mouth shut. Now I have their full and utmost attention.**\n\nHere I decided that Harold must roll his Sanity Save: d20 + 1. The result was "8". \n\nHe couldn't keep his mouth shut. \n\nI also concluded that this was a good oportunity to give the biker gang leader some personality. \n\n\\[Roll on NPC Table d20: 9 = Human Tribes\\]\n\n\\[Roll on Tribal Table d20: 17 = En'ma\\]\n\n\\[Roll on Age Table d4: 2 = Young and Vigorous\\]\n\nI also rolled if he was willing to answer Harold's question. \n\nAnd he may be angry towards Ardet but he sees Harold for the first time, so to the Gang Leader Harold is a "Stranger"\n\n\\[Roll on Initial Attitude Table of Strangers: 2d6 = 10 = Full Agreement\\]\n\n**The leader nailed me to my stool with his gaze& A young man, somewhere around my age. I couldn\031t help but notice the markings on the face. A pair of simple lines on cheekbones, customary to Enma. I\031ll be honest it was strange to see one of his kind choosing metal and oil over the tree, bone and water.**\n\n**\034A red haired** ***pul\031he***\\*\\*. \n\nThe ashface sports a ponytail, wears green. Has a nasty scar on the neck\035\n\n\\*\\**I waited about ten seconds swallowing a very big bite* *before* *answering as honestly as I could.*\n\n\\[Roll Harold \023 Deception: d20 + 0: 17 vs Astral Biker\031s Insight 10\\]\n\n**\034Can\031t say I did, sorry.\035 I turned to the barkeep.\034What about you? Have you seen him?\035**\n\n**The only one eye of hers that was not covered by her braids looked at me judgmentally.**\n\n**\034No. No, I haven\031t.\035 She was good she was even able to control her tail the only thing that could give her away.**\n\n**\034Are you sure you saw him?\035 The gang leader turned to one of his crownies.**\n\n**\034He should have. I mean, there are not many places where he could hide\035**\n\n**Still something not convinced he scanned the tavern like a bloodhound. It was the time to distract him somewhat.**\n\n**\034So, what this guy did anyway?\035**\n\n\\[Roll Harold Persuasion with Advantage: d20 = 8 and 10 vs Astral Biker\031s Insight 10\\] \n\nSince the barkeep and the tavern patrons decided to play along with Harold and his bluff, I decided to give character an advantage on this roll. And the next roll is very important because it determines what kind of city adventure (investigation) Harold will have go through.\n\n\\[Roll Urban Adventure Hook: d8 = 7 = **The Target faces a Calamity due to a crime committed by an Untouchable Antagonist**\\]\n\nNext thing I roll is a kind of crime which Ardet is accused of, using d6. And I got "3" - A theft.\n\nAnd to determine what kind of theft we are talking about, \n\nI roll d8, which gives me the result of "8" - "A theft of secret"\n\nNow, what kind of secret can the sister of gang leader have...\n\nHmmm...\n\n\\*\\*\034\\*\\****IT*** **stole my sister\031s name\035It took almost me the whole minute for this accusation to sink in. In a complete almost graveyard-like silence.**\n\n**\034Oh&\035**\n\n**\034Exactly. The trash like him should not breath\035**\n\n**\034I. Agree.\035**\n\nI decided to give biker a chance to find Ardet. Surprisingly, his roll was even worse than Ardets.\\[Roll Astral Biker Perception d20+0 = 3 vs Ardet Stealth: 4\\]\n\n**The gang leader cast a final glance at the tavern before signaling his flunkies to move out. But not before addressing me again.**\n\n**\034You, Greyhaired! Should you stumble upon this filth&\035**\n\n**I nod knowingly.**\n\n**\034You\031ll be the first one to know. Heck, I might even kill him myself. To save you the trouble.\035**\n\n**\034No, he\031s mine.\035** \n\n**The way he said it made it clear that he was serious about being the first to deal with him. \034But I appreciate the gesture. Didn\031t catch your name, though\035**\n\n**\034It\031s Harold\035**\n\nOne quick roll on the table of En'mas names and I ended up with result of "8" \n\n**\034Shan.\035** \n\n**And with that he left the tavern.Soon we heard a roar of engines soon to fade. The barkeep and the patrons were only happy to breath out. I couldn\031t allow myself such luxury.In one swift moment I jumped from my chair, bend over the counter and grabbed Ardet\031s collar of the jacket.**\n\n**\034We. Need. To talk&\035**\n\nAnd this is where I end this lengthy introduction and also this post.
## Who verifies transactions within the Bitcoin protocol - nodes, miners, or both? My understanding is that non-mining nodes verify transactions. And that miners are also nodes but have a different role, namely adding blocks that have been verified by non-mining nodes.\n\nIs this wrong? My confusion in large part stems from this statement: \034*high hash rate is an indicator of a network's security because it* ***shows a large number of miners are verifying transactions****.*\035 Source: [Forbes](https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/hash-rate#:~:text=A%20high%20hash%20rate%20is,stories%20from%20Personal%20Finance%20Insider)\n\nThank you!
## does anyone know where once can get woy episodes with 5.1 (surround sound) audio? i make voice clones for uberduck, a text-to-speech site for character voices\n\na friend of mine asked me (ages ago) to do that for wander, but it turns out that getting good-quality clips from stereo audio is a pain (even with ultimatevocalremover or mdxnet or audo.ai or what have you)\n\nnow, [wikipedia claims](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wander_Over_Yonder) that it was broadcast in 5.1 audio, which tends to have vocals cleanly separated from music etc, but the only rip i could find is in stereo and none of the streaming sites say anything about whether they offer surround sound or not\n\ncan anyone with a copy from amazon/hulu/whatever confirm how many channels their version has? do i need to find someone who recorded it on their tv? is wikipedia just wrong?
## As a psychologist, I get asked a lot about the difference in my art therapy account. One is harmful, the other is therapeutic. I made this infographic. You can share it as long as you keep the watermark (text and art are mine). Hopefuly, it will be helpful!
## OG from My Friend's DM hi =° Tanisha this =\016 may seem bizarre <
## An unstable arcane portal causes time dilation: does this sound fun, or mechanically exhausting? First of all, **Rühig** villagers from the **Kingdom of Rostock**, close this now. **Thrax**, this means you. Seriously, spoilers **abound**. \n\nGone? Good. \n \n\nFor everyone else, my PCs are reaching the pinnacle of their first-tier arc. The long and short of it is an exiled Wizard has set up an illegal research laboratory in an abandoned mine near this backwater village far all of the characters are from. To continue her research, she conscripted the kobolds that resided in the mine into raiding the countryside for various odds and ends, while she separately paid a group of bandits to break into an old wizard's tower and retrieve various valuable paraphernalia. \n\nThis caused no small amount of minor mysteries in the village, which is what led the PCs to the mine in the first place. \n\nIn the next session, the players are very likely to trigger an event that will kick off the main thrust of the campaign - destabilizing an experiment that is attempting to find the appropriate frequency to essentially Plane Shift/Gate to the Far Realm, which in my game is an unknown, never before visited plane of existence. (For plot reasons, planar travel is a tightly regulated form of magic guarded by the government.)\n\nBecause this event 'kicks off' the overarching campaign plot, I want it to be very difficult, borderline impossible but with a very clear path forward to success - with potentially huge rewards if they are successful. The PCs are getting involved with things **way** over their heads and should know it. \n\nWhat I don't know is if I have vastly overcomplicated this encounter in an attempt to make it memorable, making something that is mostly frustrating mechanical nonsense, or if this actually sounds fun and engaging. \n\n**So, on to the encounter -**\n\nThere is a roughly rectangular cavern approximately 120x40 at the far end of which is a summoning circle surrounded by three focusing crystals which are focusing energy into the circle. The crystals are in a semi-circle 15 feet from the mouth of the portal. \n\nThe entrance to the experimental portal room is a Wall of Force keyed to a particular phrase. In the room prior I have sprinkled in a number of research texts alluding to the experiment and clues to the door's key are in the research notes.\n\nWhen/if the experiment is destabalized, the experimental portal breaks its confines with reality breaking down as the portal to the Far Realm grows in power and intensity. A number of black, otherworldly tentacles will erupt from the ground in the cavern and be swinging at players. Meanwhile, the portal area acts akin to a Gibbering Mouther, and creatures closer to the mouth of the portal experience time dilation and become out of sync with creatures further from the portal.\n\n-- \nTo illustrate that I have: \n\n\nZone| Effects\n---|---\nWithin 5 feet of the portal opening | **1.** Movement speed is reduced to 0. **2.** A creature takes a \0222 penalty to AC and Dexterity saving throws, and it can\031t use reactions. It can use either an action or a bonus action, not both as per [Slow](https://www.5esrd.com/database/spell/slow/). 3. The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table - The creature begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other temporal effects they may be experiencing. **4.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 18\nBetween 5 - 20 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is halved. 2. While this close to the portal you can't understand what other creatures say, can't read, and any attempts to speak out loud result in gibberish. You can still communicate with simple gestures or telepathically if that option is otherwise available to you. **3.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table- The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing **4.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 15\nBetween 20 - 40 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is reduced by 10. **2.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table- The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing. 3. The **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 10. \nBetween 40 - 80 feet of the portal opening| **1.** DC 10 Strength saving throw or movement speed is reduced by 5. **2.** The first time entering this zone, roll a 1d10 on the **Temporal Dilation** table - The character begins experiencing the effect, in addition to any other effects they may be experiencing. **3.** **Gibbering Echoes** DC is 5\n\n--\n\n**Gibbering Echoes**: *An unnatural collection of voices layered on top of each other reverberate through the cavern, penetrating the earth, stone, and air with equal ease*.\n\n--\n Each creature that starts its turn within range of the portal's field can hear the gibbering must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC determined by proximity to the portal). On a failure, the creature can't take reactions until the start of its next turn and rolls a d8 to determine what it does during its turn. On a 1 to 4, the creature does nothing. On a 5 or 6, the creature takes no action or bonus action and uses all its movement to move in a randomly determined direction. On a 7 or 8, the creature makes a melee attack against a randomly determined creature within its reach or does nothing if it can't make such an attack.\n\n--\n**Taking actions that affect a different region:**\n\n* Everything in a region **closer** to the portal then you are appears to be moving much faster than you. Physical attacks which cross a closer boundary are made at **disadvantage**. If the creature attempts to cast a spell with a casting time of 1 action across a closer boundary, roll a d20. On an 11 or higher, the spell doesn\031t take effect until the start of the creature\031s next turn.\n* Everything in a region **further** from the portal than you are appears to be moving much slower than you. Physical attacks which cross a further are made with **advantage**. You can take an additional action this turn, as though affected by Haste. \n\nThe idea here is that the closer to the unstable portal, the more time is dilated. If you cast a firebolt from 80 feet away it will appear to 'slow down' as it approaches the target. A spellcaster close to the portal shooting a firebolt out from near the portal will appear to be moving very quickly to a target further away (represented by the extra action). Shooting an arrow, or swinging a sword get similar treatments. \n\nFinally, to represent how reality is breaking down and the Far Realm is bleeding into the region is the **Temporal Dilation** table\n\n--\n\nRoll| Temporal Dilation Effect\n---|---\n1. | **The void calls**. You begin screaming, laughing, or weeping (your choice) uncontrollably for 1d4 minutes\n2. | **Reality is a dream**. You can see into every plane of existence simultaneously; you have disadvantage on all Saving Throws for the next 1d4 rounds. \n3. | **Trust the Elders**. You feel an intense urge to peer into the eye of the portal. Before taking any other actions you must use all remaining movement to move toward the portal. \n4. | **Fear them**. You begin to suffer extreme paranoia. For the next 1d4 rounds, you have disadvantage on Wisdom and Charisma skill checks\n5. | **Struck dumb**. You begin babbling incoherently for 1d4 rounds during which you are incapable of normal speech. To cast a spell with a verbal component make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw\n6. | **We can hear you**. You can hear the thoughts of every living thing within a 1-mile radius (as with detect thoughts, no intelligence limitation) for 1d4 rounds. You become aware of an immense, sprawling singular consciousness watching all of this unfold. \n7. |**Roll of the dice**. You become aware of five immensely powerful sentient beings watching you. One of the beings seems to know what you are going to do before you do it. You gain a mote of luck. When a creature with a mote of luck rolls a 1 on the d20 for an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, it can reroll the die and must use the new roll. The mote is then lost. \n8. |Prying open my third eye. You grow an ethereal third eye in the center of your forehead. You can spend an action to gain Ethereal Sight - you see 60 ft. into the Ethereal Plane on the Material Plane, and vice versa. \n9. | **Vorascious appetite**. You are wracked with a pang of hunger you cannot identify. Your next attack deals an additional 3d6 psychic damage, and you regain hit points equal to half the amount of psychic damage dealt\n10. | **Pierce the vale**. You must use your next available action to Attack the nearest creature.\n\n--\n\nProvided the Wizard (NPC [Mage](https://www.5esrd.com/gamemastering/monsters-foes/npc/spellcasters/npc-mage/) stat block) was not defeated earlier in the dungeon, they will be actively fighting to keep the portal open while standing within the 5-20 range of the portal, as its existence vindicates them (and let's face it, they're more than a little crazy at this point).\n\nMeanwhile, on Initiative Count 20 the cavern will have two lair actions:\n\n**Emerge**: The ground and rough natural walls take on a doughlike consistency, a mesmerizing rippling sheen can be seen for the briefest moment before patches of rock coalesce into slithering puckered tentacles. A tentacle emerges from the surrounding terrain (AC 10, 2 HP)\n\n**Sweeping Tentacle**: +5 to Hit. Range 20 ft. \nTwo inky, semi-transparent black and purple tentacles sweep out catching anything unfortunate enough to be in their path. If a tentacle hits a target Large or smaller creature, the creature is Grappled (escape DC 10) and pulled 20 ft toward the portal opening.\n\n**"Defeating" the Encounter**\n\n1. The players manage to reach a tuning crystal with their sanity still in place, spending an action to make a DC 10 Arcana/Nature/Religion check is sufficient to safely disable one crystal. Refocusing each crystal (3 checks total) will abruptly close the portal with an explosive force, restoring the cavern to its previous state. All of the wizard's research will be intact, as will the three focusing crystals, a diamond, pearl, and agate which are all worth 250gp each. \n\n2. The players defeat the wizard, but turn away from closing the portal, choosing to flee instead. They manage to escape freely, but when/if they return they find the summoning portal and focusing crystals are all now a crater, as though a great maw simply took a bite out of reality.\n\n3. The players are TPK'ed. The party succumbs to unconsciousness, falls through the portal, and/or dies in some combination. After some narration of drifting, disassociated through a void, they awaken beaten and bruised in the same cavern, but the summoning portal and focusing crystals are all now a crater, as though a great maw simply took a bite out of reality. The research station has been thoroughly looted by kobolds.\n\nRegardless of what happens in the encounter, the effects of the destabilized portal mean that when they emerge from the mine it will be a week later, as the effects of the wormhole to the Far Realm drastically changed how time flowed around them during the encounter.\n\n\nMeanwhile, the entire thing caught the Elder Brain, which now sees this realm as a potential new food source - it will have dispatched a scout Illithid to this new reality to begin setting up a colony, which starts the second and primary campaign arc.
## Finally using this flair I thought this moment would never happen. I told her on Friday, that I like her and she responded, that she isn't ready and still not over her ex. I was devastated the whole weekend, because she didn't text me back after I said "Idk" to "Are we cool?". My Sunday was pure depression. On Monday I felt like I forgot about her.\n\nGot a new haircut and we met with our friends. But I still had feelings for her. We were doing Tacos and I was just cooking quietly trying to ignore her. I wanted to tell her, that I don't feel like we can continue like previously and that anytime she changes her mind she could reach out for me. Well I freaked out and didn't. But then after eating Tacos, going for a walk and starting a pretty funny movie it happened.\n\nThis feels like a romantic story from a book. We were casually watching movies. A friend sat between us on the bed. She fed us with Nachos. At first it was weird to me, but then I was like why not lol. Then she left and my crush moved to me. I was like wow dayum. But then we laughed way too hard on the movie and she grabbed my arm. I felt her cold hands on me. I didn't know what to think of that. She then did it again and I thought maybe that's a signal? So when a funny scene came, I changed my position sitting closer to her and slowly put my right hand down on hers, which was around my left arm. I slowly touched her thumb with my palm and she didn't do nothing. I went further laying my palm on her hand. She still held my arm like before. Then I went with my fingers in between her fingers and my arm. She started moving her fingers around mine. We slowly then went to holding each others hands. We were tickling them a bit. Then she pulled on my hand and I used this opportunity to hold her wrist. So she held mine. Before the movie was about to end I noticed her attention wasn't really on the movie. She laughed with our friends to keep it cool and secret. Noone noticed, but it was very close. At the end of the movie we held hands with the fingers between fingers type. When the movie ended we separated and looked into our eyes. Driving back home she gave me a wave before leaving the bus looking directly into my eyes.\n\nI hope she didn't notice my boner. I feel like boners are unavoidable. So I just go along with it. She was staring either at our hands or yk... Well this was a emotional rollercoaster. From hope, to desire, to despair, to depression, to the most beautiful thing.\n\nHow would you message someone after that?
## Get a drink with someone between friend and date? I met this guy through work and we started to hang out a lot but always kinda work related (but for the type of work we do, it\031s not necessary to work together so I would take that as an excuse to get to know each other lol) since two months ago. \nIt\031s a bit hard for me to tell how he thinks about me. \n\nHe isn\031t particularly flirty but we text everyday. He would share his day and ask how is mine. He only friendly touched my shoulder like three or four times when we meet in person for the past two months. But he drives me home sometimes and I def not on his way home. So I told him that I will buy him a drink for return.\n\nHe finally invited me for a drink this coming weekend. I wonder if I can consider it\031s a date? Kinda wanna get some feedback here to gauge how I should behave beforehand. :p\n\nAlso wanna get some suggestion about who pays the drink. I would love to buy him drinks but don\031t want him to have second thought or think I friendzone him. \n\nAny suggestions?
## NC is so fucking hard when everything was amicable before BU i thought he was my best friend. 5 months of talking every single day, hanging out every weekend.\n\nit was the best relationship i\031ve ever been in. the happiest i\031ve been, ever. but one day out of the blue he calls and says it\031s not working for him. \n\nit\031s been 11 days post BU and i finally stopped watching his stories. he of course watches all of mine.\n\nit\031s hard to have malicious feelings toward him. he did nothing wrong to me except end things without even talking about it, which i suppose is a pretty big \034fuck you\035. but before that, everything was pretty perfect. i\031ve been trying to see past the rose-colored glasses, but i still can\031t find the faults.\n\nno incident caused our breakup. i don\031t want to lose him forever, but i also don\031t want to be friends with someone that i love who apparently doesn\031t love me back.\n\ni\031ve been waiting for him to say he misses me, that he made a mistake, and i\031m not sure if that day will ever come. the last text since NC i said i didn\031t need any more explanations, i just need time to heal from this, and to let me know if he changes his mind. he obviously hasn\031t changed his mind yet.\n\nit\031s so hard because i really thought i found my best friend. i\031m gay and living in the south, so my dating pool is limited, which sucks even more.\n\nit hurts that he was so willing to give up the good morning texts, the venting, the endless memes and jokes. he said this was the healthiest relationship he\031d ever been in. so why not stay?\n\ni\031m just so confused still, i want to reach out without sounding desperate, but i\031m not sure if that\031s even possible. he sounded like he didn\031t want to cut all ties with me, and still follows me on social media, so part of me thinks that maybe we can try again. i hate that part of me right now because it\031s preventing me from moving on.\n\nthis shit sucks man. why can\031t people just express their feelings? why do i have so much love to give yet nobody reciprocates.
## Ramadan has started and it\031s reminding me how I feel so out of place Hello everyone. I\031ve been in this subreddit for 2 years and I was just woken up for morning prayer and then went downstairs and was forced to pray at 6 in the morning. I don\031t know why, but when I got back up to my room to lay down all I could do was cry. I was reminded that for the next month I will be constantly surrounded by everything I try to suppress that makes me feel suffocated and miserable. I can\031t stand this anymore. 2 years ago I got in trouble and my parents put a full security system on my phone. They found I was in this subreddit and lectured me for 2 hours and my mom cried annoyingly and tried manipulating me like she usually does. My brother told me dad i\031m only resenting this religion because I want to do and wear what I want, that\031s very telling because narcissistic people always apply their own thought processes to speak for other people. They also found my boyfriend and my brother texted my friends asking for his info, and then texted my boyfriend harassing him. My brother then went out, my mom tried horrifying me saying my brother was going to MUG my boyfriend to try to scare me (even though you are telling me your son is going to commit a crime purely to scare me rather than be worried that your son is going to commit a crime) and my brother came back and told me to never disrespect him again (he dated a white girl for nearly a year when he was 14, the hypocrisy lol) My parents do a lot of fucked up shit i\031m coming to terms with. I was forced to go to a muslim private school against my own will when I was 13 (I purposely flunked all my classes to get out.) My parents threatened to send me off to my home country and my mom even threatened to marry me off if I wanted to be in a relationship so bad. My mom is her own fixation of complete chaos, she told me and said in front of my friend that she tried drinking tea to abort me. She compared my body next to my best friend in an attempt to fat shame me (which she usually does privately as well, I am 135 pounds.) I remember I was having an extreme mental break down over wanting to leave my private school and I called a hotline and was admitted to inpatient, my mom didn\031t care that I wanted to harm myself and was just more annoyed she had to be at the hospital. When I was very young I have reoccurring nightmares that gave me extreme insomnia and my mom just said \034I wanted to take you to an imam to help.\035 I don\031t think they\031ve ever tried actually fixing a problem outside the area of islam. My mom got me a therapist (that just so happened to be muslim, how strange!) and that therapist literally told me my parents are suffocating me and that she thinks I should dorm for college. My dad overheard this conversation (because of course a muslim girl isn\031t granted privacy, even if it is about the thoughts in her head!) and called me into his office to say it isn\031t true. Excuse me? My experience with how this household has never made me feel mentally comfortable isn\031t true? Good to know. Oh and a side note I was not granted the opportunity to dorm. I have to stay in this prison for even longer. I don\031t know what to do anymore, to add to that my family definitely has a zest for stalking me. My mom puts her ear to my door just to get a fix of her addiction of harboring my personal business and goes through my stuff just to see. A few months ago I was hanging out with 2 friends of mine and my mom was just waiting for me in the parking lot, I was so horrified and embarrassed I wanted to throw up. I have never had a sleep over and didn\031t make many friends growing up because of my parents, when I was 13 a guy friend that called me (innocently and purely just a friend) my parents heard. I didn\031t try to hide that I was calling him, I thought it was ok to call a friend. My mom came to my room all freaked out and I went downstairs to my dad. I defended myself, saying he was just a friend and told him he could even check my phone and my dad screamed at me for so long and told me to come close to his face because he is a sadist that gets off to hurting people, and he made up a rule on the spot that I am not allowed to interact with boys that he had never mentioned before. My dad loves yelling at me right in front of my mom while she sits there silently, he knows how belittling and dehumanizing it makes people feel and feeds into his sadism. I am so traumatized. I can\031t even get through typing things like this without crying and feeling so sorry for my younger self for enduring such emotional abuse. I can\031t wait for it all to end. I want to just leave me house in the middle of the night some day but I was so sheltered and deprived from the resources to learn how to be an individual. I know my boyfriend will support me and I have close friends who know of my situation who are here to help but the real world is horrifying. I just feel so lost and tired.
## My Step-Father wanted to talk to me. Just "You and me." What does that mean? I am a recently turned 18yr old female. My step-father is a 38-39yr old male. Recently, he has been acting a bit strange. Especially towards me (I have a 15yr old sister.) He has also been calling us darling, dear, sweetheart, and saying "Love you." \n\nI am sure it is not weird for some but it is for us. We are not close like that even though we have known him for years. It is not common in this household for him to call us that but he recently started this late last year.\n\nI tried to excuse it as him trying to start acting like an actual parent. My sister and I don't like him some of the time. He is egotistical, misogynistic, lazy, and unhygienic. He also sometimes treats my mother badly. When she got her citizenship, he said "I made you."\n\nAnyways, I fought with my little sister about tardiness yesterday and my mom got involved and said something insulting to me. When I checked my phone a couple of minutes later, he had texted "I heard the fight, what your mom said was wrong. I think you where right. Love you." and felt uncomfortable about that last bit but said thank you nonetheless.\n\nHe texted back that I could always talk to him in the morning. And I got back to him later at night saying thank you again. The he wrote this "You are welcome. We should talk sometime .. maybe we can get icecream n talk on Monday just you n me."\n\nI got scared and uncomfortable and texted that my sister should join since she likes Ice Cream more than I do. Then he said this ' Sure we can all get ice cream. But after I want to talk to you about a few things." I said okay and good night.\n\nMind you, I have school on Monday and we wanted us to go out after school -some I NEVER do- alone to talk about "something." My mother would also be at work at that time and I am writing this on the Friday before. I don't know if he wants to talk then because he has works on the weekends and this makes me VERY VERY uncomfortable. \n\nAm I being too paranoid? I just talk to a friend who has been through some like this from a stepfather and it was a worse situation for her. But she seemed...indifferent? She did not share anything or give any advice. It felt like I was talking to myself and that I was overreacting. That since she went through worse, she does not see mine as anything much and an overreaction.\n\nI don't know. Please, give me some advice and incite to what could be going on. I am very sheltered and inexperienced so I might not have this right...I don't know.
## Is it wrong to tell a friend I\031m trans before my partner? I\031m a closeted trans woman who\031s at her breaking point, but terrified and don\031t know how to tell my (very) long term gf. We\031re not married but we\031re committed life partners. Is it wrong if I come out to a close friend of mine (who is also trans) before telling my gf? I feel like they would be able to give me valuable advice and encouragement but don\031t want to betray my gf\031s trust by not telling her first - but I also freeze up every time I try and can\031t figure out how/can\031t get up the courage. What would you do?\n\nEDIT: I texted my friend and told them&
## I have a question for flat earthers about religion I've heard a lot of explanations involving things like "the firmament" and "aether" and stuff, which I've heard to be religious, but I've also heard that flat earthers come from many different religions and spiritual beliefs.\n\nWhat are the general religious beliefs of FEs? I have a sister who's a Christian FE, and she always justifies it with religious text.\n\nI myself am a GE, and while I don't think the earth is flat, I do believe that you are entitled to your opinion, no matter how different and less common it is than mine.
## UNSC Ships, A Crash Course Crash Course in UNSC ships, as well as a few Covenant ships for comparison. Wall of text time. I made this as a comment a few months back, and though that it would be a good idea to post it for more to see, with some information consolidated and added. If you wanted to know more about the scale of Halo, this is a good place to start.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSo, the UNSC has a few ship classes, which are not limited to Corvette, Prowler, Frigate, Destroyer, Cruiser, Battleship, Carrier, and Supercarrier. Some classes of ship may be omitted, and some ships are of a class that isn't known.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Corvettes are the smallest (<300 meters, usually), and were fairly useless during the Human-Covenant war since they'd get smacked by pretty much any Covenant ship, although they did decent against the Insurrection. These include the Mako and Gladius classes, and such ships as the UNSC Bum Rush, the UNSC Pony Express, and the UNSC Two For Flinching. I am not aware of these appearing in any of the mainline games.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nProwlers (<300 meters) are the special stealth ship of the Office of Naval Intelligence, and were some of the more technologically advanced ships in the UNSC fleet. While the Prowler was originally used in non-combat recon roles, they were also often equipped with nuclear mines; they could sneak in, lay a minefield, and leave without being detected, leaving a nice surprise for any Covenant fleet that happens to stumble onto it. Every single UNSC battlegroup had at least one Prowler assigned to it. These include the Sahara heavy prowler (281 meters), the Razor-class subprowler (162 meters) and the Winter-class light prowler (84 meters), with such names as the UNSC Razor's Edge, the UNSC Point Of No Return, and the UNSC Port Stanley. A Winter-class prowler makes an appearance in Halo 5.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Frigates are the next up (\\~500 meters), and are, in the games, easily the most common ship you see. They were often used in mass-assault tactics, as while weak against the Covenant on their own, they worked great with wolfpack tactics. These include the Strident, Paris, Stalwart, Charon, Anlace, and the Mulsanne. The Strident and Anlace were used by the Infinity in it's carrier bays as a mobile fleet. The Paris, Stalwart, and Charon were used during the Human-Covenant war, and the Mulsanne first appears in Halo Infinite crashed around the ring. A few of these were escorting the Infinity when it was shot down. The main 3 types (Stalwart, Charon, Paris) that we see in the games are all very close to 500. The Savannah and the Grafton from Reach are Paris-class, the Forward Unto Dawn in Halo 3 is a Charon-class, and the In Amber Clad from Halo 2 is a Stalwart-class. These include such ships as the UNSC Forward Unto Dawn, the UNSC In Amber Clad, the UNSC Savannah, the UNSC Grafton, and the UNSC Mortal Reverie.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext tier are the Destroyers (\\~450--600 meters) and while about the same length as a Frigate, they are bulkier and thus are better in a firefight. These include the Halberd, Hillsborough, and Diligence class. A particularly special Halberd destroyer is the UNSC Iroquois, which was captained by Jacob Keyes before he was put in command of the Pillar of Autumn. This class includes such ships as the UNSC Iroquois, the UNSC Do You Feel Lucky?, the UNSC Buenos Aires, and the UNSC Gorgon. I'm not aware of any of these appearing in the games.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSpeaking of the Pillar of Autumn, let's get into the next tier: Cruisers. At >1,000 meters, these served as command ships and mainline warships, and here is where we get ships that could actually do some work solo against the Covenant. These include the Halcyon, Marathon, Autumn, and Valiant classes. The Pillar of Autumn is a heavily modified Halcyon class. Halo 2 Anniversary features a few Marathon classes alongside some frigates in the opening cutscene. Admiral Preston Cole commanded a Valiant-class Super Heavy Cruiser, the UNSC Everest, when he detonated a gas giant planet and wiped out a Covenant fleet. The Autumn is a post-war design based off the Pillar of Autumn with some post-war improvements, like shields, and appeared escorting the Infinity in Halo 4. These include the UNSC Pillar of Autumn, the UNSC Say My Name, the UNSC Everest, and the UNSC Unto The Breach.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext, Battleships. There's only 1 that's appeared so far, the Vindication class. At 1,580 meters it's basically a heavy cruiser. A few appear in Halo 4.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nNext up, the Carriers. There's a few classes. There's the Poseidon, a \\~700 meter small carrier, and then the much larger Orion (2,220 meters) and Epoch (2,563 meters), and served as command ships. They were one of the few ship classes that could take on the heavier Covenant ships 1v1 and win, although they were rare due to size and most were destroyed in the Human-Covenant war. These include the UNSC Musashi, the UNSC Fifth Winter, the UNSC Milwaukee, and the UNSC Stalingrad.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Spirit of Fire is a retrofitted Phoenix-class colony ship (2,500 meters) and thus has production facilities onboard. I could probably class this as a Carrier.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nFinally, the Supercarrier. There's only 2 classes so far, the Punic (\\~4,000 meters), and Infinity (\\~5,600 meters) classes, and there's currently 2 ships of the Infinity class. The Infinity herself, and the Eternity. The Infinity was at least heavily damaged over Installation 07, and the Eternity is incomplete as far as we know. The Infinity was originally conceived as a "last ditch ark ship" if Earth was to fall to the Covenant, and was built in secret at the far edges of the Sol system. The Punic class served during the Human-Covenant war and could also fit frigates or corvettes inside it's hangars, but most were destroyed since they were one of the few UNSC ships that were truly a hazard to the Covenant. These ships include the UNSC Infinity, UNSC Eternity, and UNSC Trafalgar.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Infinity is about the size of a CAS-class Assault Carrier, like the Shadow of Intent. Those ships are about 5km long. The Infinity was 5,694 meters long, or slightly longer than 3.5 miles. It's actually slightly larger than a CAS, but the CAS is wider. For a well-known comparison, an Imperial Star Destroyer is 1,600 meters long (1 mile). A CCS- battlecruiser like the Truth and Reconciliation is 1,782 meters long and the Covenant's SDV-class corvette seen in Halo Reach is the Ardent Prayer, coming in at 956 meters.\n\nIf I got anything wrong, please leave a comment and I'll edit it. I'd like for this to be a reliable source for anything about the UNSC fleet.
## let's make some friends :) Anyone interested in making a new, lasting friendship please introduce yourself and comment on others introductions!\n\nLet's all share a bit about ourselves and inquire about what we might find interesting about others. In the best case, a few of us walk away with a new friend or two.\n\nHere an Introduction Template in case anyone needs it:\n\nAge:\nGender:\nCountry/State: \nPersonality:\n\nAbout Me:\n\nInterests/Hobbies:\nCareer Aspirations:\nCurrent Projects:\n\nElse:\n\nPreferred Way of Communicating: (Text, Voice, RL, what Platform)\n\nI'll put mine in the comments as well x)
## 26/M/USA looking for long-term pen pal I'm not the best at introductions. I guess that's why nobody responded to my last post. Anyway, let's try this again.\n\nI guess the short of it is I'm a 26 y/o graduate student looking for a fresh start. The majority of my friends moved during the pandemic, and my few local friends I rarely get to see. Even though I still live with a wonderful, supportive family, it gets lonely sometimes. In the past, I met and befriended a couple of people on this sub. One of those pen pals became one of my best friends, and we text on a daily basis. Still, I miss our letters. I hope to find a new pen pal with whom I can share, well, anything, a friend who genuinely cares about me and has my back even if we're a thousand miles apart.\n\nI'd like to think that I'm a well-rounded person. I hold a bachelor's degree in English, and I'm pursuing a master's degree in English, as well. The dream is to teach college while I pursue a career as a writer. When I'm not studying, I enjoy watching a movie (especially horror!) or reading a book. I'm very passionate about film and literature, two hobbies that have cost me a lot of time and money. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. While I don't have much time to cook these days, I love being let loose in the kitchen, too.\n\nI'm also gay. I understand that some people will keep scrolling when they read that I'm gay. I do want to assure you that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship. And, even if being gay goes against your beliefs, I'd encourage you to get to know me. I'm not out to change anyone's beliefs. I'll respect your beliefs as long as you respect mine.\n\nIf you're interested in writing each other, please send me a short PM about yourself. I would prefer to email at first, but I'm not opposed to snail mail. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Even if we don't become pen pals, I wish you the best.
## PEOPLE WITH FLIRTY PERSONALITIES ARE SO CONFUSING So I (f15) am known to have a flirty personality. I don\031t do it intentionally it\031s just the way ig I talk to people regardless of their gender. My crush (m15) who is also a friend, also has be known to be a bit flirty to towards his friends as well. For example we\031ve locked eyes before for a whole straight minute looked away and pretended it never happened. We\031ve hugged. Last school year we would work on class work sometimes. And he teases me a lot, like for example today he grabbed smt of mine and held it high and I had to kinda get a bit close in order to get it back lol. I\031ve been shipped with him by his friends and I can prolly name more instances. \n\nHe also sends goodnight texts. At first I was like OMG HE SAID A GM/GN TEXT and then I realized he sends that to all his male/female friends. Ps. He also has many female friends and I feel like he acts the same around me and them. And this is all very confusing because he a \034flirty/very kind personality\035 and I can\031t figure out if he likes me or not.\n\nSo I was wondering if yall knew the answer \n\nDoes he like me, yes or no?
## butterflies in stomach arent real right!? Hey everyone, i have no clue why i am typing this but after a year or so i feel alive. Like my attention is back, back to someone who was very special. So this Saturday i met this girl with the eyes of angel. I was in clinical depression for the last year or so due to a breakup from my first love ever. And this was the first event i went out to after a long time. As i was socializing, i saw this girl in a beautiful cherry coloured dress that complemented her soooo well. Like she stood out to me. I immediately wanted to introduce myself so somehow i found a way to sneak in and to my suprise she was from my hometown e\017. Parts of me that were resting for over a year suddenly could be felt. As i continued talking she understood my humour. She laughed. Had soo much in common and in fact we went to the same university. Just typing about this is putting a smile on my face. And after 20 solid minutes of talking she asked can i have your number.\n\nI suddenly remembered what happiness feels like. And very gladly i gave mine but never asked hers in return in the fear of "indescribable feeling". 2 mins into the convo another friend joined and she asked for his number too. And that's when i realised she was just networking.\n\n\nEven though i know its close to impossible to get a message from her anytime, its been on my mind the whole day. I know i know what you are all thinking but this feeling of waiting for some magic to happen is amazing guys. I missed this soo much. And as the tile suggests i definitely do feel butterflies in the stomach. Wish me luck guys to get a text from her and ill quit this app forever to make her mine forever.\n\n\nSorry for whoever thought it was very cringe. Im not usually like this but im happy to have this feeling again you know =\005
## Today I took my gazillionth romantic L. This marks the continuation of my 20-year rejection streak. I\031m 26 and I\031m starting to lose hope. This is a long post so statistically speaking there\031s a 1 in 7.5 trillion chances that someone will read this, but I am writing anyway because I need to let this out.\n\nLet me preface this by saying that I have no hate on my heart. I\031m by no means an incel, or anything remotely close to that, and never have been. I know that I am not entitled to anything. I don\031t have any negative feelings towards women or men or anybody.\n\nAnyway, I want to start off by sharing something that I find very curious: when we eat our favorite dish for the first time, it is amazing. But over time, when we get to experience it multiple times, it is not like our first time anymore. There\031s less pleasure. This also applies to traveling for the first time, getting your first pc, and many other first-time good experiences. It is still a good feeling, but it is a watered down version of the first time. I\031m sure most people can relate.\n\nHowever, this effect doesn\031t seem to apply to the emotion I feel when I experience romantic failure and rejection. After my 20-year streak I still feel it basically the same way.\n\nToday, someone I love told me they are in a relationship. In my opinion we are close, because we tell each other a lot of sensible stuff. I also thought that she liked me, because she sent me what I thought were signs, multiple times. One time she even basically said it, through a meme, and I\031m 75% sure she wasn\031t joking. Or maybe I\031m wrong, I\031ll never know for sure.\n\nMy heart feels so heavy right now. I\031m craving love. I want to love and be loved.\n\nI should say, we\031ve never met in real life. So maybe it is only because of the distance? Maybe if we lived close to each other, we would be together?\n\nFor some people this makes the whole story ridiculous. Online love? Bruh! But this is the way I feel, what can I say?\n\nThis whole experience brings me back to the first time I\031ve ever felt romantic failure.\n\nI was 6, it was about the time Windows XP came out (omegalul). I had a crush on a girl from my class. Later, this girl got with one of my friends. I don\031t know if she ever knew I liked her, I never told her. But it hurt.\n\nThat was my first taste of it, then in middle school, high school and so on, I got various other experiences where I felt my heart shattered. Not the exact same stories, but all girls I had feelings for that didn\031t feel the same way.\n\nThis has not been counterbalanced by any positive romantic experience. Never been in anything remotely close to a relationship. Not even \034hanging out\035. With the exception of a short date in 2015 (age 19) and another in 2019 (age 23), with two different girls from Tinder.\n\nWith the first girl we talked for like 2 months before the date, then no more. With the second girl we talked for 1 year before the date, and for about 1.5 year after.\n\nI think the 2019 girl initially liked me (for a short period imo), at least a bit, and then saw me as a good friend, then as a regular friend, then she realized she is lesbian (she was bi at first, her words not mine), then she distanced herself from me.\n\nShe was the first girl that held my hands, I still vividly remember the moment she grabbed both of them and started waving them to the music. We were holding each others hands and waving our arms while looking ourselves in the eye and smiling. We hugged multiple times, and this is not America so we are not touchy here, we usually don\031t hug people left and right.\n\nIt was one of the best nights of my life. Or maybe THE best night of my life, now that I think about it.\n\nEventually that ended with my heart being hurt when I lost her.\n\nFor context, she lives abroad too, I matched with her on tinder while I was at an airport for a layover. Apart from the date we only texted.\n\nBut I digress. To get back to what I was saying, for 20 straight years I\031ve never had any sort of relationship. Today I took another L when the girl I like told me she\031s in a relationship. I didn\031t ask her about it, she just mentioned it as a side note when we were talking about another unrelated topic. So I didn\031t tell her my feelings.\n\nI don\031t know where I\031m going with this, but I am starting to feel hopeless. I am afraid I will be alone forever. It\031s been 20 years, and I\031m 26. It\031s all I\031ve ever known. It is not illogical to think this way, is it?\n\nIn the stock market they say \034past performance doesn\031t predict future performance\035, but you wouldn\031t invest in a company that has been losing for the last 20 years.\n\nI want to feel love, to love someone, to be loved, to have intimacy. This is a basic human need. Humans are not made to live this way. Still, this is reality. Need isn\031t a synonym of entitlement.\n\nIn fact humans are also not made to be bombed, so I should be happy that I\031m safe at least. Maybe it is even insulting that I complain about this stuff, while others are living actual nightmares.\n\nI just feel pain and my heart is broken. I agree that it is not justified for me to feel this way about my situation, considering the atrocities that happen in the world. But my heart just feels so heavy right now. All these years, my whole youth, and no love. And now again, another one, like dj khaled would say.\n\nI remember when covid hit, and everyone started talking about the mental health effects of quarantine. I was like: \034wait, you guys are already going crazy after this baby quarantine? I\031ve been living this for years and years\035. So maybe my condition is justified? Either that, or everyone who complained about quarantine\031s loneliness is not justified. I don\031t know.\n\nI don\031t know what I\031m saying man I just want to be loved and love in return.
## My ex may have outed me to my school Me and my ex didn't end on good terms but he knows how important it is to me that no one from my school besides my friends finds out I'm a trans male(afab). I don't plan on starting to transition until after I graduate high school so for the most part people there think I'm just a normal "girl". Well recently me and my ex unfollowed each other on all social media and we've had no contact with each other at all. Come to find out a friend of mine who still follows him told me he posted something and proceeded to send me a screenshot of what it was. Now for context before I say what it was I'm new this year at school so people don't really know me I'm just known as his ex and a lot of people from our school follow him on social media. He had made a post using my preferred name and my pronouns and basically went on a rant on how his ex(me) is spreading shit. This all started because after we broke up he started dating someone new so I asked him for my stuff back. He never gave it back so I gave up on it until I remembered he still had my leatherman and I wasn't gonna let him have that. My friend offered to text him from his account and asked for it back for me since when I did it he ignored me. Others who I'm friends with know about that situation so I'm guessing he thinks I'm spreading things about him when I'm absolutely not. I just wanted my things back there's no point in keeping them when we're broken up and there was no need to name me and specify in that post that he was talking about me now I'm getting ready for school scared shitless about what may happen.
## Every memory - deleted I read a great article today that made suggestions on how to lose hope that someone you were in a relationship with will come back after the breakup. It said something like: that you have to delete everything, so that you don't dwell in that space. Dwelling and remembering the "good times" doesn't allow your brain to reset to the time before you associated the person with all the dopamine and endorphins flooding your brain.\n\n\n\nI deleted everything tonight: all the pics and videos, the 5548 text messages, and your number. I felt instant relief. If you're struggling with this ex-babe, then I want to encourage you to do the same if you haven't already. We had a decent run for the first few months, and it's ok that it didn't work out. We've both been through hell in past relationships, so just think of ours as the good one leading up to the best one. Take care. Keep creating weird random stuff and laughing at bad jokes like mine. Open yourself up to love. You deserve to be loved. Don't ever forget that! \n\n\n\n\nSorry for all the shitty things I said about you. \n\n\n\nThere are 2 things I will never get rid of though. I need to keep a part of you with me until I die. They are put away now in my BFF's house, and I will get them back when I'm ready.
## People that overuse/misuse the ellipsis. I find so many people& typically older boomers& but a few Gen-X too& that always type like this& whether on LinkedIn& Facebook& an email& or a text message& they are in love with their three dots& it drives me nuts& did these people not go to grammar school& where did they learn to do this& some of them even have college degrees& how did they graduate writing like this& it is a pet peeve of mine& thank you for listening to my rant&
## a letter to you& bean, i miss you. i miss you more than you could ever imagine. i miss you more than anyone has ever missed anyone. i miss having you as my best friend. i miss having you in my life. \n\ni miss hearing your laugh when you thought you were annoying me, which you always did on purpose. although, i was never annoyed, i love you too much to ever be annoyed at your silliness. i know you poked fun at me out of your love for me, and i knew that, we both made fun of each other because it made us laugh. i would do anything to see you laugh and so would you. i miss the way your nose scrunched up when you giggled or thought something was gross. i miss the sweet dimples that sunk into your cheeks when you smiled at me. i miss the way your eyes smiled with you. god only knows how much i miss that goofy, sweet, loud, laugh of yours. \n\ni miss the precious moments we shared together. i miss the certainty of our whole lives being together. i miss talking to you about our futures, always with each other in them. i miss hearing about your day. i miss calling you every night, hearing you sing doja cat songs because you were obsessed with her music. i miss listening to our playlist in the car, singing our hearts out together, you always trying to get me to dance even though i was shy, i would anyway, because you made me feel safe and cared for. i miss getting that 2am text from you asking if i want to go somewhere fun. i miss getting slurpees and takis with you everytime we hungout because we were too happy together to even care about the junk we were eating. we just liked being happy together. \n\ni miss talking to you. i miss telling you about my day, and hearing about yours. i miss your voice, i miss your smell, i miss your hugs, your goodmorning texts& i miss you tremendously. i have never missed someone more than i do you, beansie. you are such a light of this world, of my world. you are such a caring, kind, selfless, compassionate, intelligent, wonderful soul and i will never know anyone like you.\n\nbean, i wish i could have done more for you. i wish i could have done anything and everything. i would have. i want you with me right now more than anything, and i am still learning how to be okay with that possibility being out of my reach. i wish i could hear your laugh, i wish i could hear your silly voice when you mock mine, because you know it made me smile.\n\nit is coming up on nine months in ten days, since this beautiful world has lost your beautiful soul. i think i am learning that you aren\031t gone, completely. you truly live on through my heart and my own soul; in the way i treat others with kindness and understanding the way you did; in the way i care for others who feel how you felt; in the way i have become a better person to honor how lovely of a person you are& were.\n\ni like listening to our music, i like thinking of you sitting next to me smiling, laughing, singing. i like imagining how life would be if you were here still. so peaceful. it\031s been hard to find peace after your death lovebug. i know that you believe in me, though. you said so the morning you did it. thank you for the voice message you left me. it has gotten me through so much. when all i need or want is you, to hear your voice, i can listen to that last message you sent me and you tell me everything i need to hear. i know that you left it for me on purpose, you knew i would need to hear how loved i am by you, that you\031ll always care for me and take care of me, \034no matter what\035. \n\nthank you for teaching me so much about this world; about love and friendship and kindness; what matters and what does not. thank you a million times and more. you will always be my best friend.\n\ni hope you knew how much i love you in those last moments you spent here with me in this world. i hope you knew how i would do anything for you to be happy& everything. i tried my best bean, and i\031m so forever eternally sorry that it was not enough to save you from your own head. you will never ever deserve what happened to you. you are not selfish. you had the biggest, nicest heart, it took you so long to do it, i know, because you didn\031t want to hurt me. you are not selfish. i understand, i love you. i always will love you. i love you so much.\n\nplease wait for me, wherever you are& even if that is just where peace resides. wait for me there. i\031ll see you again one day, i promise. until then, i miss you.e\017
## I feel like his mother instead of his fiance'. Td;lr Fiance doesn't have good hygiene, puts us in stressful financial situations, and doesn't help out with his son. I have to constantly remind him about things that are basic everyday, adult things. I feel like his mother. This is going to be long and rambly, so sorry in advance. \n\nMe (25f) and my fiance(23m) have been together 3 years, with a 19 month old child. \nOur pregnancy wasn't planned, but we made it work, including my fiance moving from his parents house with me in my parents home. \nEver since our son was born, I feel like my fiance has lost all sense of responsibility. He works from 12pm-9pm, doesn't get up in the mornings until an hour before he has to leave, and gets home after our baby is asleep. \n\nCleanliness: Me and my mother are the main ones taking care of my son, as well as splitting chores up between the two of us. One of mine is obviously keeping my master bedroom clean. Well, no matter how hard I try, the room is always dirty. Because as soon as it's clean, my fiance starts throwing his clothes on the floor. He leaves his garbage all the room. \n\nI have to tell him to brush his teeth, otherwise he'll go weeks without and it's gross. I don't like kissing him anymore for this reason. He works in construction, and comes home reaking of oil, which I wouldn't mind if he would take care of himself afterwards. But He comes home and lays in our bed, putting that oil all over the sheets. I have to yell at him the moment he gets home to go shower, otherwise he won't do it. \n\nMoney: Aside from hygiene, he's horrible with money. I'm always the one who has to keep track of bills and be responsible with how much is spent, while he's on the side whispering in my ear about things he wants to splurge on. He spends money without any care of our finances and says "we'll be fine", when in the end, we always end up not fine because of his choices. We get paid on Fridays, and for the last 3 weeks in a row, I've ended up broke by Monday because my account went into the negative thanks to him not telling me about an old bill that he had with his phone plan suddenly hitting, in addition to whatever he spent money on against my wishes. \n\nRecklessness: Another example happened today regarding his lack of regard for our family. He doesn't have a license (I barely found about this a year ago), so I do most of the driving, except times that I can't, or I'm too tired.\nLast night he came home and said his ride can't take him to work. I suggested he call someone from work to pick him up because his job is 30 min away, we have no gas, and only 15 to put in the tank of a big family suv that gussles gas, so 15 wasn't going to do anything for it. He "can't bother them" because they all live closer to work. \n\nSide note, we recently renewed our tags, but we have to wait for them to come in the mail. We have the paper receipt proving we have registeration, but a cop won't know that. So all it takes is a cop getting behind us and decide to stop us to make sure we have registeration, and then realizing he has no license, arresting him, and impounding our only source of transportation. For this reason, I've been doing even more driving then usual. \n\nWell this morning I get up to my mom telling me he wouldn't take her up on her offer to take him to work this one time because of the tags issue. I had forgotten about it last night, and he looked at the gas in the truck, and decided that 15 was enough to get there and back, but barely. So he took our only vehicle to work knowing he doesn't have a license and risking getting stopped. \nWhen I texted him asking him why he would rather risk getting our truck towed then get a ride from my mom, he said he didn't think about it and didn't want to owe any money to her. That's the problem. He never thinks about what his actions could cost our family. I told him were going to be owing a lot more then 20$ if our truck gets taken, and when we can't pay for it, no more vehicle for us. \n\nIm a SAHM because other then grandma, there's no one to help us with our son. But I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking about getting a job anyways. If I'm going to be constantly broke and stressed, I'd rather it be because of my own doing or because I'm taking care of my son; not because I have a unbelievably irresponsible partner. \n\nChildcare: when he is home, I have to be after him to help me with our child. If it wasn't for me and grandma, this poor child would have constant diaper rashes, be starving, never take showers, and would constantly be locked in his bassinet. Because my fiance doesn't do any of those things for him without being asked, and leaves his son in the bassinet for too long instead of letting him run around the house. I can't take a day off away from my child without worrying about rather or not he'll be taken care of by his dad, so I don't. \n\nWhen I try to talk to him about it, he says he's tired from work, and he "forgets" about the things that need to be done because he's not always around to do them. \nThis is bs. I worked for a while when my baby was younger. Longer hours then him. I never came home to my child and said "I'm too tired to take care of you". I still stepped up as his mother and got him what he needed. I never neglected him using the excuse "I'm not around enough to remember.". \n\nI'm at my wits end, but I can't get a job without throwing all the responsibilities on my mother who already does a lot. I feel like the only adult in the relationship. I don't feel like I have a partner. I feel like I have a second grown child.
## I've been lying to everyone in my life i\031ve been in this hole for like two years but recently I\031ve gotten r e a l l y deep in said hole. I lost a lot of money back in December due to a real fucked up leasing / roommate situation , then I was out of work for two weeks right at the beginning of the year because I had covid. i was staying with my sister , brother in law , and my niece at the time , and we all had covid. During isolation their landlord texted them and asked them to please be out of the house by febuary because she was selling it. And they had not signed a genuine lease agreement because it was a facebook market place rental so there was no legal ground to stay in the house , we all had to leave. they had somewhere to go , I did not. No where , no other family to stay with , no friends , nothing. So a girl I had on snapchat that I had met years ago one time in passing. She mentioned she lived in a 3 bedroom student apartment and two rooms were empty so I should call the leasing office and see if I can get into one . And so I did , and I packed up my car full to the brim of everything I owned and drove to my new apartment in a whole new city, whole new state, no family, no friends, nothing. I was so fucking scared I was shaking while signing me lease agreement. Anyway I wrote a hot check to get into my apartment which I eventually ended up paying the owed balance. I was sorta stable , and I was sorta okay. And then my boyfriend of two years said it would be best if we broke up so , we did. I really felt like I was kicked while I was down , my anxiety has just been so horrible I can\031t get a job , I\031ve applied to jobs just to say I have a job but I always end up bailing because I\031m so damn anxious or I cannot bring myself to get out of bed which sounds dumb I know but it\031s like there is this invisible wall not letting me do anything Idk. I am in my own way but I won\031t fucking move it\031s SO frustrating.\n\nHere I am exactly two months later to the day of moving here , and I have never been as deep in the hole as I am now. I am trying my best to hide from the repo man because my car is too far gone to even get it under control , my rent is due for march and now April , my phone is shut off so I cannot make or receive calls , I owe too many people money Ive run out of fingers to count on , everyone back home thinks I am employed , single , and thriving , but I\031m not I\031ve been lying to everyone , to my mom , to my sister , to my dad , my friends , and its all catching up to me , pretty soon I am going to be genuinely homeless , hopefully ill be able to hang onto my car for a little bit longer if I reach that point, but thats it , I\031ve been digging myself into this nasty self pity debt hole for two months and I don\031t know how to get out , or where to even begin , I don\031t know who I am anymore , I\031m so sad , mad , and jealous . I\031m aware that its all my fault and this is all self inflicted but I just , I fucking can\031t keep this in anymore , I\031m such a liar and I never lie. And I\031m not even a good liar. I just had to get this off my chest. Part of me feels reassured because I\031m 21 and most 21 year olds fuck up and struggle but mine is all self inflicted so I don\031t feel as if its valid. I\031m almost certain I got job I\031m actually gonna love so I hope I can update this post in the future and tell y\031all I\031m doin better.
## Scrapyard Mines So there is a discussion currently about Scrapyard Mines. The current text states that scrap markers are treated as severe, hazardous Pit Trap markers. The trait of destructible is missing. People are pointing to the FAQ about Jedza and Geodes and saying that all Pit Trap markers are destructible and therefore these are as well. I believe that it was, however, deliberate to not include destructible as they are \034treated as\035 and not an actual dropped or created marker. It would also only help the opponent by giving them a free way to destroy scrap markers which in turn kills the gameplan of anyone playing Foundry or Tricksy. I need some answers here. Thanks for reading.\n\nLove this game.
## [A4A] The Adopted Dragon [Fantasy] [Tsundere] Google doc with better formatting {[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OSIhhVX0TdL\\_Eg5PVfaV3R84UBcZYLH8B3y9k509oY0/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OSIhhVX0TdL_Eg5PVfaV3R84UBcZYLH8B3y9k509oY0/edit?usp=sharing)}\n\n \n\nThe Adopted Dragon\n\nFlavor Text: On the wind\031s breath sails tales of a fearsome dragon. One who levels kingdoms, who scorches armies, and who sits on a mountain of gold. Supposedly this dragon once took a young heir, and for years, mothers told children these stories to keep them in line. All thought it was a myth until the dragon came.\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; playfully, half-asleep\\]**\n\nYour breath is so warm mom. Cut it out.\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\nHey! I said stop. It\031s too hot! And moist? Your breath is always so dry what\031s&\n\n\\*\034Dragon\035 screams\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; alert\\]**\n\nWho are you? What happened to the cave? Why did you wrap me in cloth?\n\n\\*gasp\\*\n\nIs this rope? Are you tying me up? Oh no, mom said humans did this!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nBandages? Not rope? Are you sure? Because this seems like& Well, I guess I can still move just fine so if it is rope it's not very good. Still, it\031s pretty tight, I don\031t like having things on my scales.\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; curious\\]**\n\nSo you wrapped me up to keep me decent? What does that even mean? My scales cover my whole body like an impenetrable armor!\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nHold your tongue, human. You\031d be wise not to insult a great dragon like me. \034Don\031t have any scales\035 preposterous! What kind of dragon doesn\031t have scales?\n\n\\*listener presses the question\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; miffed\\]**\n\nI know you can\031t see my scales. Those weak human eyes are useless! I assure you my entire form is covered in regal, purple scales!\n\n\\*listener accepts\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; satisfied\\]**\n\nThat\031s right human, apologize. \034Looks like skin to me\035 idiotic! Mother didn\031t say the humans were so stupid. Now, why have you wrapped me in these, \034bandages\035? \n\n\\*listener begins\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; cutting listener off\\]**\n\nNo, don\031t even answer. First, tell me why I am in this stone cage and not free with my horde?\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubting\\]**\n\nYou say this is a castle, not a cage? Dumb and a liar! I do not fit inside castles. I am a hundred feet tall, all human buildings cower beneath me.\n\n\\*listener challenges\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nDo not speak such blasphemies! If I was shorter than you then I would not be a dragon. I can see from here that I am at least a thousand times your size. Maybe more!\n\n\\*short pause\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; slight panic\\]**\n\nWhat are you doing human? Do not approach me! I will singe you to a crisp and crush your remains you..!\n\nWhat are you doing?!\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nYes, I see that you\031ve put your chin on my head, what I mean is why are you doing that?\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; defensively\\]**\n\nTo prove I\031m short? That doesn\031t prove anything! You are probably standing on something or flying or using some dark human magiks. This is a trick!\n\n\\*listener objects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; offensively\\]**\n\nYes, it is a trick! Humans are deceitful creatures who hide behind their inventions and their numbers. They are not to be trusted.\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sheepishly\\]**\n\nWhy do I think that? I think that because& because&\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; very quietly\\]**\n\nBecause my mommy said so.\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; louder\\]**\n\nBecause my mom told me okay! I know it sounds dumb to a stupid human like you but I trust my mother with my life. If she says humans are bad then they are.\n\n\\*listener speaks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry\\]**\n\nStop insulting me! I am not a human. If you do not stop challenging me then I will be forced to burn you!\n\n\\*listener calms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; smugly\\]**\n\nThat\031s right. No matter how dumb you are you still fear fire. Now answer my question. Why am I in this so-called \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nMy mother brought me here? So you could heal me?! Impossible! My mother is Ki-ada, The Luminous. She is the greatest healer of these millennia. She would not relinquish me to some human to be healed.\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; jostled\\]**\n\nYou say you know of my mother? Good. You know what will happen to you should you harm her prize child. \n\n\\*listener objects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubtful\\]**\n\nYou claim to have known my mother personally? \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nDeceitful, lying, fool! My mother only interacts with the noblest scholars of any race. A moron like you would never be deserving of her time. You couldn\031t even recognize that my scales were blue! How could you hope to be in her presence if you can\031t even see clearly?!\n\n\\*listener questions\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; defensive\\]**\n\nYes, blue scales.\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\nI didn\031t say they were purple. You have the memory of a catfish! I never said my scales were any color but (stumble on the word purple then articulate blue) blue!\n\n\\*listener laughs\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; annoyed\\]**\n\nDo not laugh at me! I am a fierce and powerful dragon! You should be worshipping me!\n\n\\*listener apologizes\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; peeved\\]**\n\nI do not wish to hear your two-faced apology. I want you to answer my question instead of changing the subject. Why did my mom bring me to this \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener explains slowly\\*\n\n\\*\034Dragon make various sounds on understanding\035\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; slower than normal\\]**\n\nYou mean to tell me that my mother brought me here because you are the best healer of humans in the lands?\n\n\\*listener confirms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; back to normal\\]**\n\n\\*\034Dragon\035 scoffs\\*\n\nWell, now I know you are making this up. Humans are not good healers even amongst themselves, and I am not human at all. Bringing me here would be less than worthless. Come to think of it, I don\031t even feel injured, so this must be a ploy to keep me here. Your puny human kingdom must need protection and you hoped to extort me into doing it.\n\n\\*listener denies\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; doubtful\\]**\n\nYou claim I do not hurt because you already healed me? A likely story! If you are such a great healer then tell me. What did you heal me from?\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confident\\]**\n\nBurn wounds!\n\n\\*laughs\\*\n\nYou claim to have healed a dragon\031s burns? Dragons do not burn. We are entirely fireproof! I could stick my claw into your hearth\031s flame and experience no ill effects&\n\n\\*yelp\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry and scared\\]**\n\nThat fire was hot! \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nYou are not a human! You\031re a witch! Or a Lich or some other unholy monster. You stripped me of my very essence for some evil spell!\n\n\\*listener defends\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; getting aggressive\\]**\n\nYou are a stain on the rest of humanity! When my mother returns I will have her burn your \034castle\035 to the ground and-!\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; realizing\\]**\n\nDid you say my name? In my time here I did not give a name.\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; angry again\\]**\n\nThis proves your unholy goals! You read my mind to deceive me!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; snarkily\\]**\n\nFirst, you claim to know my mother, now you say you know me?! How could a human be so acquainted with dragons if all you do is heal in this \034castle\035?\n\n\\*listener backstory\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating along\\]**\n\nMy mother trained you? And you stayed in touch? How! You can\031t send letters to a cave.\n\n\\*listener continues\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating, non-aggressive\\]**\n\nShe would visit you in the meadow because you were her favorite student? If she was visiting so often then where was I? \n\n\\*listener reveals\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; repeating into realization\\]**\n\nHere in the castle? I was the second-born child of the King?! \n\n\\*small pause\\*\n\nHe thought I would usurp the throne from his firstborn so he tried to give me away? \n\n\\*listener corrects\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; shocked\\]**\n\nHe was going to have me killed?! Over some stupid throne?!\n\n\\*listener continues\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; understanding\\]**\n\nSo you tried to save me by giving me to the one person you knew could protect me. My mother.\n\n\\*listener confirms\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; in denial\\]**\n\nNo! My mother would have told me if my life was in danger. She would have burned that King and let me live happily!\n\n\\*listener explains\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; breaking\\]**\n\nShe didn\031t do anything to protect me? You told her the pain of knowing would be too much? And that revenge was wrong?\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; shouting\\]**\n\nAnd why would she listen to a dumb, mortal, human like you!\n\n\\*pause\\*\n\n\\*listener reveals\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; fighting tears\\]**\n\nYou were the royal medic then? You looked after me in the months before I left? So when I got hurt again, my mother brought me back to you?\n\n\\*cries\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sad and angry\\]**\n\nWhy would you tell me this? Why would you say such hurtful lies?! What did I do to deserve such cruelty?\n\n\\*listener laments\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sad and bitter\\]**\n\nIt doesn\031t matter if you thought I knew. I was a dragon.\n\n\\*sniffles\\*\n\nI am a dragon.\n\n\\*listener asks\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; pulling through tears\\]**\n\nYes, okay! I guess I always kinda knew that I wasn\031t like the other hatchlings. Mom always said I was just a late bloomer. That my hair would fall out and my claws would come in later. I guess I just wanted to believe her.\n\n\\*listener comforts\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nWhy are you opening your arms human? Is this some petty joke?\n\n\\*listener denies\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; confused\\]**\n\nA hug? We dragons don\031t-! Well, I guess I\031m not a dragon. Fine, I\031ll \034hug\035.\n\n\\*hug\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; getting happier\\]**\n\nWow, this actually feels really nice. Like sleeping under Mom\031s wing. \n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nDon\031t think that means I forgive you human. \n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nWhen my mom comes back I\031m still going to have her burn this whole kingdom for abandoning me.\n\nI\031m just going to close my eyes and rest for a little bit until she gets back.\n\n\\*listener pets\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; Tsunderely\\]**\n\nDon\031t stroke my hair! It doesn\031t feel nice and I\031m not sleeping so, stop. Just let me lie back down on the table and leave me alone.\n\n\\*listener obliges\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; finally won\\]**\n\nThat\031s more like it. If your story is true then I\031m at least an heir to the throne, so you have to do as I say! Now, lay down here and hug me again.\n\n\\*listener says\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; moody\\]**\n\nDid I stutter?! Lay down and check my hair for any more burns! And don\031t stop looking through it until I say so.\n\n\\*listener strokes hair\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; happy\\]**\n\nThat\031s more like it. Now I\031m going to lay here and&\n\n\\*yawn\\*\n\nAnd not sleep so don\031t think I am. Remember your eyes aren\031t as good as mine, dummy.\n\n\\*listener agrees\\*\n\n**\\[\034Dragon\035; sleepy\\] {Get quieter and fall asleep before finishing this idea}**\n\nYeah, not sleeping. Just staying awake and getting examined in a perfectly medical setting. Not being happy, just accepting. It\031s a lot to go through so I could rest, but I\031m not. Not sleeping. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n{Any use of this script is fine, monetized, privatized, or otherwise. A credit as SplashiestPig would be cool}
## How to back out as MOH/guest? \ntl;dr how do I tell the bride I don't want to be MOH any more?\n\nA friend of mine who I haven't seen much in the last decade asked me to be a "co maid of honor" for her wedding this August. Her bachelorette party is at the end of this month and it is out of state. I was supposed to be planning it, but she ended up booking an Airbnb and setting the plans herself without giving me the heads up. Which is fine, obviously, but I had been doing a lot of research and planning before she messaged all the girls with other ideas. \n\nAnyway. 6 girls backed out and the bride would have to pay the difference at the Airbnb she booked. So, I told her I'd try to find a different Airbnb or a hotel so that she won't have to pay the difference, and that I'll coordinate with the other bridesmaids. It's important to note that I have not met any of the bridesmaids and most live in the same city. The co-MOH sees the bride weekly, hasn't replied to any of my messages on planning, and neither her or other bridesmaids have offered money for decorations/bride gifts. \n\nI messaged the remaining 3 attendees with alternative plans (all approved by the bride). They didn't reply. I asked them for their budgets. They didn't reply. So, I sent a proposed plan of accommodations and activities. They still didn't reply so I had to send follow up messages with deadlines. I eventually was told by 2 girls it was fine, and the other that it was too pricey. By the time I got all the answers, it'd been over a week and the hotels I mentioned got booked up. \n\nI start replanning and sending options, and I let the bride know. She told me that the girls weren't responding to me because my messages aren't "concise" and I sent too much "fluff" for them to actually read what I'd said. She then tells me that she doesn't care about paying the difference in the cost of the Airbnb and never did, so things would go back to the original plans entirely. I felt pretty stupid tbh.\n\nAfter that, there were options for 2 different activities and I was getting mixed vibes so I made an executive decision. \n\nThe bride got upset and told me that the option I chose was not her first choice and that everyone was fine with the original plan, so I shouldn't be changing it. I got confused because we discussed everything before I spoke to anyone and I got so stressed that I started drafting a message to back out of the whole thing when she sent me a few apology texts, which I appreciated, so I backed off. But then this morning I got another text about how my option was "not her first choice" and doesn't understand why I picked it. I didn't pick these plans myself - we discussed everything! I told her I felt it best that she handle the rest of the planning for the bachelorette since no one was answering me anyway. \n\nAnyway, I feel really uncomfortable. The bridesmaids are all literally ignoring me. I know I seem like a hassle since it looks like I was just trying to meddle in existing plans although I let them know that all was discussed with the bride. But it still feels weird and shitty to be ignored and kind of chastised when we're all grown women. I'm contemplating just backing out of being in the wedding party and still attending the wedding if she'd let me, but because both the wedding and bachelorette are destination events, it doesn't make sense for me financially to go. I also don't know anyone else at the wedding at all, so it'll be thousands of dollars for me to have this experience of isolation essentially. So I was considering leaving myself out all together. She hasn't finalized her guest list for the venue yet, so I know that I wouldn't be costing her money on that front.\n\nI asked some other friends and my bf what I should do, and they all said I should call her and tell her because it's somehow better to discuss over the phone. I hate phone calls even for regular reasons so I would prefer to avoid this at all costs. I know that the truth is that I didn't anticipate this responsibility (finances included - the bridesmaids haven't offered to pitch in for decorations, food, brides expenses, etc.), that I'm uncomfortable, and feel like I'm not a good fit for maid of honor. Since she also has a co-MOH, I feel like it won't be too much of a loss. I anticipate this may ruin the friendship but... Idk\n\nI just need help
## {da} What are some coping strategies for when you want to push a friend away? Hi everyone!\n\n I'm new to the subreddit,but not to the topic. I'm in my late 20s and have spent some time reading and journaling, trying to find out why I have such a hard time staying in a group of people or maintaining friendships. I've managed to open up to a few friends and family members, which feels like progress. However, and that's the thing, just telling people about the way I feel and analyzing my own reactions in a journal is very different from being in the situation where the things I said or wrote would have to be applied. \n\nRight now, I'm trying to get some practice with friendships. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm failing again. There is a pattern and it goes like this. \n\n1) I meet someone I get along with well and I think could make a good friend. \n\n2) I encourage them to open up to me about whatever topics they want to talk about and I get some \nsupport from them on mine as well. \n\n3) They start to see me as someone to confide in and will text me throughout the week. \n\n4) I stop telling them about the things that bother me because I don't want to minimize their troubles, \nwhich I see as greater and more valid than mine. \n\n5) I (very suddenly) get angry when they text me because I see it as a demand for me to stuff my own \nfeelings and spend time and energy to encourage them on whatever they need help with. There is \nusually a feeling of being trapped and overwhelmed and a very strong feeling of "(insert unsavory \nphase of your choice here)! How to I get rid of this person again? How do I get out of this?" \n\nI don't let them know. Usually, I will ignore their texts until the anger has died down. I feel bad about it because I am happy that they see me as a person to open up to. They deserve to talk about their feelings and receive some encouragement and I was the person who drew them out about it in the first place. I want to be the person they can trust with their feelings. \n\nOf course this becomes a cycle because every time I get back to them later, I make up some excuse why it took me so long to answer. Telling them the truth would invalidate their feelings and make it seem like sharing them was the wrong thing to do. I don't want that. But every time I make up an excuse, they continue to let me know more and more and every time I need longer and longer until I can react to them in a way I find appropriate. I have even made up excuses why I want them not to contact me for a while, because I need to come down for a bit. Things like "I really want to focus on my family over the holidays, please don't contact me until New Year." \n\n6) I give up, ignore the person more and more until they loose interest and if the don't I eventually \n block them.\n\nI feel horrible about this. I want to be there for others but when I try, I end up hurting them instead. I get really lonely but I don't see how I can change that without being a danger others. Right now I'm in stage 5 again with a new friend, and I have an excuse for ignoring them ready to go, but I don't want to start the cycle again. \n\nWhat kind of coping methods do you guys have for situations like this?
## 1 Mike\031s last minute audit of his financial contributions didn\031t inspire Ximena to resubscribe to Mike, so he\031s packing his shit and going to the hotel as directed. He asks if he can come by the next day to see if Ximena\031s mom has fallen any further into the Mama Asuelu moat of GIVE ME MONEY, and maybe by then someone will feel sorry for him. \n\n\034I have a disease,\035 Mike apps. \034It\031s called I\031m a werewolf. Once you calm down and think about it rationally, you\031ll understand why every full moon you\031re a gold-digger.\035\n\nXimena options are: a.) Say no, and listen to a remix of the same tantrum, possibly paired with a fresh refusal to leave, and escalating violence, or b.) Ask him to call her tomorrow. She goes with option B, as most people would who have experienced this kind of shit before. \n\nMike calls the next day and Ximena tells him he can\031t come by, because Amazon has finally delivered the razor wire she ordered for home security, and the neighbors are waiting with torches and sharpened garden tools. Mike nearly collapses in a swoon over this injustice, and says goodbye to everyone over the phone, while insisting he deserves more than farewell-at-a-distance from his purchased family.\n\n Mike insists that if they reunite it\031ll be on the back of Ximena\031s groveling, so the next scene is Mike messaging her in the middle of her 90DF interview. Ximena\031s interest renews with whatever he texts, so she calls him. Mike seizes opportunity, and insists they shouldn\031t break up over \034one big fight,\035 and promises they will have a house in the US, and a house in Colombia, and they can imagine who lives inside from the safety of grandpa\031s attic. \n\nXimena knows this is the drumroll to him reminding her that she\031s financially dependent on him, and anything he offers will be added to the gold digger file by the next full moon. Mike insists that won\031t be the case, and he was just angry and said some things he\031ll say again the next time he\031s angry. Production asks Ximena if she\031s actually considering this shit, and she says she doesn\031t know, while her mom makes weepy eyes while clutching a microwave. \n\nGino is trying to make it to the airport without stepping on another one of Jasmine\031s mood mines, which explains his affinity for track shorts.\n\n\034The stakes are pretty high, because if I step wrong, I\031m losing a leg,\035 Gino explains. \n\nJasmine sobs over what happened to Mahogany\031s hair, and Gino tries to pack faster than Jasmine can unpack. Jasmine marvels over his nut-hugger underwear, and Gino says he only planned to wear them 10,000 years ago, when this season first began and they were somehow talking about babies. Eventually he reaches the airport, and Jasmine is a mess, but imagines she\031ll somehow survive the horrors of seperation. \n\n\034I am like what would happen if Gone with the Wind, a telenovella, and the DSM-V rolled around at an orgy, and everyone got pregnant,\035 Jasmine sobs. \034I am what Elijah always dreamed of for himself.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t bring up the prenup,\035 Gino swallows a fart, and returns to his regularly scheduled yoinks. \034It\031s hard. You can only reschedule your flight three times, and I\031m on a budget.\035\n\n\034Right now I feel so detached from reality,\035 Jasmine is a one-woman quote machine. \034I can\031t get into Gino\031s suitcase. But I will not curse science for ruining so many lives, because it has also given us so much.\035\n\n\034I don\031t even know if she\031s acting,\035 camera #1 isn\031t sure which award to nominate her for. \034But she\031s the most interesting person I\031ve gotten to film&ever. And it was all at resorts with no one else around. Can we come back?\035\n\nMemphis and Hamza are ready to advertise successful completion of this trip\031s to-do list with matching t-shirts. Her tshirt warns that \034wife\035 isn\031t crossed off yet, so outsiders should approach this as something akin to an active shooter situation. Hamza is a mess over her looming departure, because he still has feelings, and Hayet starts crying to show us who he got them from. \n\nThey head to the airport, and the whole route Hamza is worried, sad, and anxious to arrive in the US before his child is born.\n\n\034You with me is happiness,\035 Memphis says. \n\n\034Please, do not ask your mother\031s advice on this relationship,\035 Hamza knows this is his only hope. \n\nMahogany is on the run, and Ben chases her to the getaway car. M\031Hog makes a desperate bid to banish him and accidentally spits, *God bless you!* instead of *the power of Christ compels you*, which throws a wrench in her escape. \n\n\034I\031M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY HEART!\035 Ben auditions for an 80s teen movie written by a sixty year-old pervert. \034DON\031T PLAY DEAD! IT ISN\031T FUN THAT WAY! RUN! RUN LIKE A GAZELLE! I SAID RUN!\035\n\n\034Put the camera down and HELP ME!\035 M\031Hog forgets she doesn\031t speak English, but the crew remembers they don\031t believe in souls. \n\n\034STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND READ MY PAMPHLET!\035 Ben dead-birds the glass. \034WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU, MEOWGANY? I DIDN\031T GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO LEARN YOUR NAME TO ONLY GET TO SAY IT ONE TIME!\035\n\n\034I don\031t have to read your pamphlet! I can choose to read something else!\035 M\031Hog tries to powerlock the doors. \n\n\034I\031m not going to get in,\035 Ben has been reprimanded for following a woman into a car before. \034But I want to assure you that it\031s not my fault you\031re afraid. You\031re being paranoid, when I\031m just trying to trap you for a little mandatory alone time.\035\n\n\034It is your fault I\031m afraid!\035 Mahogany looks to the producers for a weapon. \034What the FUCK, even the Hunger Games gives you tools!\035\n\n\034I think you\031re neglecting what\031s already available to you,\035 Reddit\031s active prepper community knows it\031s their time to shine. \034First, are those baton shoes, or is there a dagger hidden in the heel? Just a blunt force instrument? That\031s fine. Jam it into his eye or the base of his skull. While he\031s screaming (if you go for the eye), punch him in the balls, and then what do you still have? That\031s right. A second shoe.\035\n\nM\031Hog\031s strategy is to tell the driver to take off while Ben is still in pursuit.\n\n\034Don\031t do this. I will simply roll, get up, and start running after the car. You\031ve seen Terminator 2. You know what I\031m talking about,\035 Ben bens. \n\nM\031Hog opts to risk it, and the driver floors it. \n\n\034I DIDN\031T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS FRAGILE!\035 Ben is a human yikes.\n\n\034At the Tell-All I imagine people will have some questions about why I didn\031t grab her by the arms and shake her around like a ragdoll,\035 no one is wondering that, Ben, but thanks for triggering everyone with PTSD. \034Can I use Shaun\031s MUA, or do I have to bring my own?\035\n\nFourteen minutes ago Usman left Kim at the airport, which is enough time for him to get cracking on wifey #2, and Zara has been ID\031d as an ideal candidate. Since his swarm of frothing female fans are allegedly responsible for tearing their relationship asunder, he beats them back with a machete just before placing the call.\n\n\034Hello. Wearing this SojaBoy necklace from Kim is how I will ascend to villain status, which is my only chance for a third season,\035 Usman is himself.\n\n\034You know I don\031t do fake love,\035 says the totes authentic Zara, here to aw shucks on the right coy. \034I was sad when we broke up. We used to talk every day while Kim complained you were always on the phone. We\031d laugh, we did everything.\035 \n\n\034That\031s everything?\035 Usman yammys. \n\n\034Did you text?\035 Ben thinks it\031s never too soon for advice.\n\n\034You know we had to be apart long enough for me to get a laptop,\035 Usman is ever-smooth. They remain torn about getting back together, while Kim exists in a relationship somewhere, all by herself. \n\nAND NOW, it\031s time for Tell-All Part 1!\n\nShaun: Hey everyone! My name\031s Shaun, and I am a clone of the previous Shaun, and this is a dress we share. Who knows the punchline to THIS joke: How many racists does it take to constitute a hostile work environment?\n\nGino: (Chews face)\n\nShaun: Gino, hi. I was a big Bell-Biv-DeVoe fan, too. \n\nGino: Now you know. \n\nMike: Yo \024\n\nShaun: Mike, can you hear me?\n\nMike: Yes I \024 \n\nShaun: That means you\031re too close. Keep moving your chair back. Further&keep going&keep going further&\n\nMike: I\031m in the road!\n\nShaun: But you can still hear me, Mike! HAMZA!\n\nHamza: Hello, I am in America, and this season I am the best looking. \n\nShaun: That\031s true, so I\031m going to need you to have a seat next to Memphis\031 breasts. This will be my safe space. \n\nHamza: Mine also. \n\nJasmine: Baby, take off the hat so you can be in the good looking competition. \n\nMike: You\031ve got to take it off, buddy.\n\nGino: I\031m a fuck monster, I can cover my body in starfish and fling myself into the sea. The defense rests.\n\nMike: What\031s a fuck monster?\n\nJasmine: This is not for you to know. \n\nShaun: Hang on, let\031s go back to bullying people out of anxiety. Gino, the hat, amirite? This feels weird. I\031m better at wincing like everyone around me is a cunt-punch.\n\nGino: We\031ve established I\031m strange and impulsive, and once again you threaten my head woobie. \n\nJasmine: That is because I am the one who is volatile, and you are the one who is creepy. This is sexy to me. \n\nBen: I would not describe myself as creepy or threatening. Now, allow me to detail how to masculine.\n\nShaun: Did you say mescaline, because that makes sense.\n\nMahogany: It\031s not safe to give him attention. He is patriarrrrrrrrchy as a person.\n\nShaun: Ben, am I safe? Are the others safe? \n\nBen: I don\031t understand. What\031s an others? \n\nShaun: Like, other people. Who exist. Even if you can\031t see them. \n\nBen: I don\031t see why they would exist if I can\031t see them.\n\nProduction: Ben we\031re gonna need you to see other people. Preferably not as your subjects.\n\nBen: Is this about the homeless orphans that shared a poison cup with me after I selflessly put out the diaper fire at their transient camp, and humbly offered my own teat for them to sup from? I had no plans to join the Fun Punch Bunch, but I take full responsibility for being selfless. \n\nJasmine: No, it is about the part where you are a pervert. \n\nShaun: Lisa, hi. I can\031t imagine what you\031ve been through. Let me know if you need the name of a good exorcist. I see one after every Tell-All.\n\nLisa: Will this exorcism in any way interfere with his divine quest for an unsullied, youthful queen to sire his do-over family? Either way, please give me the name. \n\nShaun: Hang on, does anyone have children on set?!\n\nKim: Jamal is here. \n\nShaun: Can we give him special glasses so he can\031t see Ben?\n\nProduction assistant: What, with like, a douchebag filter? You know our budget is $16 and a twelve pack.\n\nShaun: Did I ask you to be poor? AND WE\031RE BACK. Ben, just like, whatever. Don\031t make me talk to Mike.\n\nBen: Kim pursued Usman kind of aggressively. That\031s a bro thing, bro.\n\nKim: What?\n\nBen: I used this in a sermon when I was a youth pastor. Men are basically predators. \n\nKim: Did he say \030men\031 or \030Ben\031, because only one of those works. \n\nBen: Men are like lions, and women are like gazelles. You don\031t want them to just lay down. That isn\031t fun. You want to play with your food.\n\nJasmine: I watch a nature special once where killer whales do this with a seal, and it was very upsetting.\n\nShaun: Ben, are you saying that you\031re trying to have sex with what you eat? There are so many drunk songs mocking the Scottish for this. \n\nLisa: Female lions hunt. It does not surprise me that Ben doesn\031t know this. He probably got lost somewhere around the mane. \n\nBen: Would I ask dinner if it wanted to be eaten? Now, let me start over with today\031s lecture, *Predator: Hunting a Woman Until She Forgets She\031s Meat.*\n\nJasmine: You must be very hungry, because you always seem to be dining alone.\n\nShaun: Jasmine, get me out of here. How many wigs do you have on?\n\nJasmine: All of them, Shaun. Do you think I leave any for the baldheaded exes of Gino?\n\nGino: Is this about to be about my hat again, because I\031m gonna need a trigger warning and an apology.\n\nJasmine: Give me the meat! I want the meat! It is so good I love it, I love your meat! The lioness will hunt, bitches!\n\nShaun: Can you keep this up for like, ten minutes? Microdosing was a mistake that can only be rectified with macro action. Have you ever used RSO as eyeliner? Shit\031s about to get weird. \n\nMike: Just have sex. \n\nShaun: See?\n\nGino: Generally, I prefer to have sex when I consent to it enthusiastically. \n\nShaun: Let\031s travel back in time to sex as a joyless duty&here comes the wavy lines and the mist&\n\nKim: I call it going after what you want. \n\nShaun: YOU\031RE STILL TOO CLOSE, MIKE!\n\nMike: I\031m using a walkie-talkie!\n\nShaun: (Give me that.) Keep going until you hear sirens! Over!\n\nMike: I\031m going to get a ticket for having a lawn chair on the freeway. Over. \n\nShaun: Zabbidy zabbidy zob! Over!\n\nJasmine: What the fuck, Shaun?\n\nShaun: I just need him to believe I\031m losing the signal. Stop it, Ben.\n\nBen: But I was just getting to the climax.\n\nKim: Is that why the temperature dropped?\n\nMemphis: Are we still talking about sex? Cause me need pee pee in my wee wee so Memphis go boom boom. \n\nElla: I know you guys want to get back to my cheating, so OKAY, I guess I\031ll fess up! I\031m not trying to BRAG, but if I reference a male friend, you should assume it\031s a dick-in-waiting. \n\nShaun: I\031m glad you\031re not trying to brag, because I\031ve been to Idaho, and I think all of you are related. Gino, have you ever sent an email?\n\nGino: Like, to someone else? \n\nShaun: Yes. To another person. \n\nGino: What, like, on the internet? \n\nShaun: That\031s right. \n\nGino: I mean, obviously. It\031s much easier to send nudes as attachments. I think. \n\nShaun: Did you ever message a member of the cast?\n\nGino: My member, or like, to say hi?\n\nJasmine: What are you asking, Shaun. Stop flirting with Gino. \n\nShaun: Look, Jessica said she messaged every cast member in a desperate bid for more airtime. Which one of you fuckers responded?\n\n Mike: I can\031t believe Nelcy didn\031t think of that. \n\nShaun: I can\031t believe she\031s going to be on stage later, since there\031s nothing she could possibly contribute. Here\031s Gino asking Jessica if she\031s Sicillian with a cowboy emoji. Really? This is the smoking gun guys?\n\nGino: That was the only emoji with a hat. \n\nJasmine: Jessica also send six messages to me. Enough about that bitch. We were talking about sex as duty? One morning I tell Gino that I will go to the gym first, and when I got back, he already play with his pee pee. \n\nShaun: Is it normal to go to the gym before sex?\n\nJasmine: On this latest trip, we only have sex one time. \n\nShaun: Is it because you were at the gym? Someone call the sex police. \n\nSex police: Ma\031am, we\031ve been supervising this entire season.\n\nJasmine: Masturbation is cheating!\n\nSex police: Alright, we\031re taking you in. We can\031t have anyone standing in the way of safety. Do you know the sort of madness masturbation restriction inspires?\n\nProud Boys: Let\031s put it this way, a bunch of us are in jail.\n\nGino: Okay, my pants-boner spit up. It happens when you have a stripper grinding on your face, RIGHT JASMINE? REMEMBER?\n\nShaun: I\031m sorry, I\031m confused, am I feigning outrage over the amount of times Gino and Jasmine had sex, or the masturbation thing? What year did we travel back to?\n\nJasmine: Women don\031t need to wank and I\031m TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR MEAT GIVE ME YOUR MEAT. \n\nShaun: Gino, what\031s a sugar baby? \n\nGino: Kim and Usman. \n\nShaun: No, to you. \n\nGino: Mike and Ximena.\n\nShaun: I find it surprising that you would pay for sex!\n\nGino: Really?\n\nShaun: But you pay for it?\n\nGino: Shaun this is called entrapment.\n\nShaun: Jamal can you come out here while we humiliate your mom?\n\nJamal: Okay. Yes, this is a strange relationship.\n\nShaun: What\031s strange about it?\n\nJamal: Really Shaun?\n\nShaun: (whispers) Is he your new dad? \n\nJamal: Shaun, as an adult child of 90DF, let\031s not pretend that Usman has any interest in me. This will shock none of the other adult children of 90DF, but this happens to my mom a lot, and she stopped asking me to call them dad three relationships ago. Usman? He\031s looking for a personal assistant and sponsor. Where is the love?\n\nUsman: Hang on, I haven\031t used that song lyric yet. How\031s this: Zara my baby yah yah, where is the love now girl, in dey love dey love dey yah yah. \n\nShaun: Keep singing, I can almost see your fans!\n\nMike: That\031s just me waving from the freeway. \n\nJamal: And I mean, who calls someone they\031re seeing a \034potential\035? That\031s disrespectful. Maybe isn\031t a title, it\031s a meh. \n\nShaun: He called Zara.\n\nKim: He did not.\n\nShaun: Let\031s take a look at this totally not rehearsed phone call that defintiely wasn\031t arranged from the very start, for fuck\031s sake.\n\nKim: I didn\031t know. I still don\031t know. Let me dab at my eyes while I find a way to blame Zara. \n\nUsman: You can also blame all women, and yourself for not trusting me! \n\nNicole: A beauty supply store is a great idea. \n\nJamal: Wow. Now you\031ve invoked the woman who takes photos of vegetables to show how much she\031s changed. \n\nMike: Actually, I accidentally invoked Nicole. \n\nNicole: It was the approval pictures. \n\nKim: I\031m upset. I need a minute. \n\nUsman: Kimberly, hold on. You\031re overreacting and you already agreed to this. Kimberly! You agree to be submissive! Kimbahlee! KimBAHHHHHHlee! This is supposed to hypnotise you! KimBAHHHHHlee! (Claps.)\n\nJamal: Wow. Why are you clapping at her like that?\n\nUsman: I am a musician you see!\n\nKim: You don\031t respect me.\n\nUsman: I don\031t have to!\n\nShaun: Jamal, can you stay? It\031s getting weird.\n\nBen: Does that work? Clap Clap Clap! M\031Hog? Can you crawl out of the screen? CLAP CLAP CLAP! I COMMAND you! CLAP CLAP CLAP!\n\nJamal: He\031s actually saying the word clap. \n\nBen: I\031ve got bronzer on my hands, and I didn\031t want to chance it. Did it work? Meowgany? M\031Hog? Hello? Okay, who turned off my microphone&\n\nNEXT WEEK: Jamal comforts Kim over her past and future mistakes, Jasmine tells Jessica that she\031s faker than Mahogany\031s filters, no one seems to call Mike out on anything, Ella cries in manufactured drama, Memphis and Hamza exist, Ben\031s advice column has a few critics, and Shaun says fuck it and just sprinkles outrage at randoms. \n\nThank you, Patreon supporters!
## 2 My family and I have been very close, until recently. They joined a church about a year ago, and have been acting completely strange, I almost describe it as \034floating.\035 They talk about how much they \034love\035 everyone, but judges anyone who doesn\031t think like them. They are completely anti LGBTQ (which is new),they no longer drink and judge those that do, they plug their ears if they hear a curse word or someone using the \034lords name in vain,\035 they really only spend time with church members, they spend their days in classes, like parenting, marriage, life,etc. they are obsessed with growing their own food and very anti medicine, their kids are pulled out of school and home schooled/church schooled one day a week, the kids are not allowed to celebrate Halloween or watch anything with magic, the list goes on. \n\nAnyways, my sister told my 5 year old nephew that I didn\031t believe in god and I was going to hell. A few months later, she breaks out in prayer in front of my whole family, and prays that I\031ll be \034brought to light.\035 I have an 8 month old son, and I told her I can\031t trust her around him, because I don\031t want him to learn those values. I know he\031s young, but I just want that to be respected.\n\nA friend of mine used to attend, she said that they use teachings from a cult down south, and have members come up and teach. Ive heard multiple people say these things. I told my mom to please look into it, and I thought I got somewhere. She sent a text that was supposed to me to my sister to me, basically stating that I was wrong and \034he\035 their preacher, teaches straight from the Bible. I told her I wasn\031t getting to her, but I hope she sees for herself. I said I didn\031t want to be around them, but they could see my son as long as they didn\031t bring anything up around him. The other sister that decided to break out in prayer I completely cut off. I just can\031t do it anymore. I also got angry and told them they were screwing up the children. Oops&
## 3 My first diary is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/s50836/i_am_24_years_old_live_in_rural_nz_and_make_53000/). Nothing has really changed except that the COL has gone absolutely mental lately. \n\n**Section One: Assets and Debt**\n\nRetirement Balance: NZ has a scheme known as Kiwisaver, where we put up to 10% of our pay aside and our employer does about a 3% match. I contribute 3%, and my Kiwisaver is at **$10,400** still, due to market drops. \n\n**Savings account balance:** $188 (I'm trying but it's hard to afford to save)\n\n**Checking account balance:** $600\n\n**Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it):** None anymore!\n\n**Student loan debt (for what degree):** I have a MA (can't specify what for as it will dox me haha!) and a BA. In total these degrees cost me $75,000 including living costs. In NZ these are interest free, and get repaid through our paycheques if you make over a certain amount- currently repayment is at \\`12% to the dollar. My loan is at **-$69,568.91**, down about $700 from my last diary.\n\n\\---\n\n**Anything else that's applicable to you:**\n\n* The Kiwi dollar is currently $1 NZD to $0.68 USD. All money spent is listed in NZ.\n* My salary is taxed at 30%, plus amounts taken out for union dues, Kiwisaver and my loan. I only get about 50% (sometimes less) after this. \n* I finished paying off $8000 of consumer debt with 22.99% interest in August, and recently had to pay $600 for unexpected dental, which is why my savings are at literally 0. I got myself into this debt during a couple of manic periods (I have cyclothymia) between 2017 to 2019 and spent it all on NOTHING OF VALUE WHATSOEVER. I try to be really careful with money when I'm low or at baseline because one of the first signs I am about to hit a high is that I want to buy everything flash and fancy.\n* I have **$120** in various EFTS and other funds through Sharesies- my brother gave me $50 of shares for Christmas 2020 and I put $10 in when I remembered they existed. Otherwise I forget they're there.\n* My Dad pays for my car and health insurance- this is just like cultural appeasement as in his perfect world I would still be living at home and not working lol.\n\n\\---\n\n**Section Two: Income**\n\n**Income Progression:** This is my first "real" job, and I make probably $3000 less than most new graduates in sector. I have been working since I was 13 though: I did 7 years in hospo, then 2 years working as a tour guide/curators assistant (one year overlap as I worked two jobs!), then two years as an admin assistant in a mental health scheme and in a specialty long-term hospital, all for minimum wage. I have basically never not worked since I started high school since I wanted to go overseas and study- which I did twice, once in HS and once in Uni.\n\nMy job title is very specific but I basically work as a curator's assistant yet again! but with a masters and slightly less pay.\n\n**Main Job Monthly Take Home:** $2,872 (so around $34,000 a year)\n\n\\---\n\n**Section Three: Expenses**\n\n**Rent**: $180 weekly (this is how we pay it here) or $720 monthly. This is INSANELY low for NZ. Most of my friends pay $300+ a week- it's low because I live in a little town with about 500 people.\n\n**Renters Insurance**: I pay this monthly now. It's $34.33. \n\n**Savings contribution:** Since September I have been putting aside $860 a month into savings, but I have had a lot of expenses and a "fuck it I have no debt" mentality that I am working on clearing through.\n\n**Investment contribution:** $10 every pay week, but probably this will be something I cut soon.\n\n**Donations:** I can't afford to do this anymore. \n\n**Wifi/Water/Electricity:** Included in my rent, which makes it even more insanely cheap.\n\n**Cellphone:** $26\n\n**Subscriptions:** $1.69 for iCloud, $14.99 for Spotify.\n\n**Car payment / insurance:** See above\n\n\\---\n\n Day 1\n\n1.00 am: Wake up with an unholy stomach ache. I try to take some panadol and go back to sleep but it does not work and I spent most of the next few hours cursing the culprit (I am never giving my stomach nice things like probiotics again), wondering what atrocities I committed in a past life to be lactose intolerant and contemplating whether actually this is the first symptom of a terminal illness. I also drink a litre of water and eat some chips to try help it out. I want to eat like, a hundred apples, but they probably would make it worse. Prop myself up with pillows and read /r/unresolvedmysteries until I need to turn the lights on. \n\n2.15 am: I now look seven months pregnant instead of nine and am almost certain I\031m being divinely punished for something. Browse Revolve to try and distract myself and eventually fall asleep before my cart hits $400. \n\n8.30 am: Get woken up by my flatmate hurriedly packing his van and leaving, which is interesting because he was Typhoid Mary for this household. Get up and take my RAT test. I never tested positive but I\031m very suspicious because I had every single symptom and they miraculously cleared up at exactly the same time my flatmates did. \n\n9.30 am: Drag myself out of bed, make some matcha, chlorophyll water (for my stomach) and collagen water. Try really hard not to snap at a girl I know in our group chat and think about how much better my life would be without her. Then I put on the ugliest yellow Lululemon shorts you\031ve ever seen and a Hellenic Aesthetic sweatshirt. Stomach feels a little bit more settled after that. Then, force myself to wash my face (I have a cleanser from a brand called Hers that I got sent by mistake from Revolve months ago (don\031t like it much) and a Foreo Luna Fofo my cousin accidentally bought two of and gave me one. How? I don\031t know. Finish with a Glow Labs Moisturiser, Frank Body eye cream and Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen.) \n\n11.00 am: Realise today is not a Sunday and I am meant to be working from home. Extreme panic ensues. Luckily my boss does not seem to have twigged and I get into formatting some research and sending out rosters. While I\031ve been in isolation everything has been very very light duties. \n\n11.30 am: After a highly laborious thirty minutes of work, I have some shapes and relay a phone call from my mother to my godmother, because I am essentially a messenger pigeon. \n\n12.00 pm: Lunch time. I go for a walk to the supermarket and buy some chocolate, ginger ale, greek yoghurt and black ball sweets for **$16.16**. Eat these and lie on my bed once the caffeine wears off and the ADHD kicks in. Then I manage to do more research stuff and look at the updated curriculum.\n\n2.00 pm: Put the finishing touches on my CV then try to find my cover letter template. Attempt to begin it but then decide to just have a little scroll on my phone instead. This turns into a half hour nap that I am awoken from by my boss calling me to tell me about some human remains that belonged to local iwi (a tribe) and were on display in at our museum for many years before being interred somewhere on site in the late 80s& but nobody knows where. Neither of us had realised that they were actually on display and he has just found photographic evidence. \n\n3.15 pm: Make myself a smoothie with banana, berries, zucchini, vanilla yoghurt and protein powder from Real Rad Foods. I have one of those cheap George Forman blend and go things and I really want a proper mixer. My friend texts me to remind me that she\031s coming round for dinner tonight& I forgot about this and want to scream. It\031s too late to cancel, really, so I tidy up my room a bit. \n\n4.30 pm: Take a quick break from work to squeeze every single blackhead on my chin. Immediately regret doing this. While doing this I get a Humm notification that money has been taken out of my account. I keep meaning to cancel this account but I basically use this like a credit card, it boosts my credit score AND there\031s only a few sites I can use it on so I don\031t really have the opportunity to go insane with it. Typically when I get paid I put it all in one big lump sum. **$31.60** \n\n6.00 pm: Still haven\031t heard from my friend and she was meant to get here at 6. Send an are you alive? text and fold todays laundry.She replies that she\031s leaving the house now, so I change into an orange and blue Entireworld (RIP) baby tee, a Mads Nørgaard Copenhagen skirt with a little floral daisy pattern (I literally cannot remember when I bought the skirt, only that I\031ve only recently fit it and now it will probably need to be taken in a bit) and black sandals from Elk. When she comes to mine she takes this random backroads route because it\031s safer (??) so she doesn\031t arrive until 6.45. Try to be a magnanimous friend and not get frustrated by this. \n\n6.45 pm: We pick up our fish and chips (she pays) and I go and buy tomato sauce (**$4.20.**) We eat it in the park and then head back to mine to watch Pretty Much It and Sky High. We spend most of the time trying to figure out if Sky High is a metaphor for being gay or not. \n\n11.30 pm: My friend leaves and I basically wait for her to text me that she\031s gotten home safe, then get into bed and go to sleep. \n\n**Daily Total: $35.80**\n\nDay 2\n\n11.50 am: Wake up. This literally never happens to me and yet both times it has happened to me this year, I\031ve been writing a money diary. Suspicious. Anyway, I am hung to the over, so I basically eat a box of crackers and watch TikTok on my phone until it feels ok to be vertical. \n\n2.00 pm: My neighbours put on a 2000\031s emo playlist and then their son starts practicing his drums. That makes me see the face of god (and also throw up.) I have three treat sized Moro bars and then get dressed in grey trackpants and a shirt with olives on it (impeccable drip.) Get back into bed and feel so sorry for myself it\031s pitiful. \n\n3.00 pm: Finally drag myself up for real this time and wash out my water bottles, put some oil in my oil burner and set my pillowcases on to wash. I also put on a Kiehls face mask (that actually I think breaks me out, but it cost $40, so my skin is gonna have to deal) and eat a cheese scone with some chlorophyll water (separately. I\031m not dunking the scone in the chlorophyll water.) The scone is a bit stale because I made them last week, but still absolutely elite. \n\n4.00 pm: When I get out of the shower It\031s 3.55.55 and I\031ve burnt 555 calories and stood up 5 times today. I keep seeing 555 and I really hope it has to do with this job. Run through my technically evening skincare routine (Sukin Hydro gel, Frank Body Hyaluronic serum, Krave Great Barrier (this stuff smells so bad), Versed Auto Save and top it off with this regenerating PHA mask that has been in my fridge for so long I forgot who made it. Make awkward small talk with my flatmate and then return to my room to eat a protein bar. After this I start massively flagging, so I foam roll my back and make a matcha before starting on the cover letter. \n\n6.00 pm: Finish the cover letter and send it off to a friend to review. Why are these so hard? I know that they probably don\031t even get read, either. She reads it and has some suggestions, I make them and then I submit it! I\031m quite nervy but also it is 100% ok if I don\031t get this job, it would just be nice to leave my current role and also make more money. And be closer to my family. Afterwards, I go for a walk (2.5km as I\031m recovering from tendinitis) \n\n8.30 pm: Make myself French toast (so easy!!) and then mix up collagen powder with a tea sachet in the hopes that the tea makes it less collagen-y. Read before the dawn, journal and take the 2929 vitamins I rely on to feel human. Then lie down on my Shatki mat for half an hour before 25 minutes on my little exercise bike because today was the kind of day that needed a run :( Do my Duolingo while I\031m pedalling away. \n\n10.00 pm: Apply Versed Night Cream and this Glossier eye cream I\031ve had since undergrad that just. won\031t. die and make myself a cup of the Real Rad Foods sleep hot chocolate thing with Boring oat milk. While I\031m drinking this my brother calls and tells me about his mountaineering plans which destroys my chilled out vibe and sets me off into a panic spiral about him dying somehow. I do this at least twice a week. Make up a small shopping list for tomorrow (since the stuff I meal prepped turned out beyond foul, what a waste of money) and then go to sleep. \n\n**Daily Total: $0 :)** \n\nDay 3\n\n8.00 am: Wake up successfully today. I lie in bed and watch TikTok\031s for about an hour, then wash my face and gua sua (I only use this to clear my sinuses and it is ELITE.) Let that all sink in, then moisturiser and sunscreen. \n\n10.00 am: Finish watching people play games on Youtube and get dressed- another Entireworld shirt, indigo straight leg jeans that are too big for me, Madewell brown belt and white canvas sneakers (affectionately referred to as MILF shoes.) Set off on the 50km drive to the nearest actual supermarket. \n\n11.00 am: Arrive at the supermarket, and buy a candle, chicken breasts, garlic powder, rapeseed oil, ginger ale and chocolate for **$54.84**. Then, I drive down to McDonalds for a cheeseburger and McBites, but I\031m 5 minutes too early for bites. By the time I get my burger, it\031s 10 minutes past the bites time& so I don\031t get why I couldn\031t have them. **$8.20**\n\n12.30 pm: Get home and light my new candle (Audrey Hepburn scented, whatever that means), put away my groceries and change from my t-shirt into a super old cropped sweatshirt from Outdoor Voices because today is the first cold day of the year and I am freezing. \n\n1.00 pm: Wake up from my accidental nap because my mums called to vent about work. While we\031re on the phone I load the dishwasher and change out the bin bags. Then I watch an episode of Bridgerton (not massively vibing with this season) Make myself a protein smoothie and have to melt (!!) the skin off a frozen banana because my flatmates have eaten my preportioned frozen bananas. It is traumatic, so I also have some Caramello chocolate to self-soothe. \n\n2.30 pm: Hear from the cops about a police report I filed at the start of the month (very strange incident where some old man drove into my car and then did some odd things before he just wandered off.) The cop gives me the guys phone number and says that the guy said he got in contact with me (lol) because he owns the only panel beaters in town. Considering he was literally old enough to be Henry Ford I don\031t really want him fixing my car, so I call my dad to see what he thinks. It must be a slow day for the cops because I would have thought they had better things to do. Go into a weird anxiety tailspin for an hour. \n\n4.30 pm: Call my friend G to congratulate her on getting a new job, try not to lose my mind at the girl in my group chat and focus on finishing Before the Dawn.\n\n5.40 pm: Go for a walk, my mum calls me halfway through and I go on a massive rant about this girl. We decide in the end that I need to drop here but delicately and any confrontation will upset her. Get home and then make Juicy Chicken 101 from TikTok (so good) and some pesto pasta to have with it. Literally a game changer for me, if only chicken didn\031t cost half the earth. \n\n8.00 pm: My flatmate comes home and we all kind of stand around and chat for a while. Then I make myself some collagen and go back to my book.\n\n9.30 pm: Finish, 7/10. Have a shower and do 30 mins on the Shatki mat while I do my Duolingo. Finish up with some Real Rad Food sleep and a lil go on the exercise bike. \n\n**Daily Total: $63.04**\n\nDay 4\n\n8.00 am: Wake up feeling RAW. This often happens to me after I\031ve been anxious and leads into me shutting myself off from the world for a while and cutting my own hair. Or I\031m just hungry. Jury is out. I wallow in pity for a while, think about how nice a run would be right now and then eat some chocolate. This is intensely revitalising, so I get dressed and put on some laundry. \n\n11.30 am: Take a RAT test- because of the nature of my job, I take these every 3 days. \n\n1.30 pm: Remember my insurance is up soon. I can\031t get into my old policy (??) but it\031s up on the 28th of April. Last year I bought it annually but since I\031m planning on leaving here within the next 3 months, I\031ll pay for it monthly instead. Then, sort out my YNAB, update my savings accounts, prep for payday tomorrow etc. Also book myself in for a foot massage next Tuesday and reschedule my physio appointment to the same day. All I have left to sort now are my Doctors appointments and calling the guy who hit my car. \n\n3.00 pm: Meal plan (I\031ll go to the shops on Thursday) and then become possessed with a need to find out what is happening on Riverdale now. Answer: ???????\n\n5.30 pm: Brief chat with one of my flatmates, then make more chicken to go with my pesto pasta tomorrow. Go for a walk- amped up to 3km today, wow >\025 \n\n7.00 pm: Eat dinner while browsing around online. I try to check the price of shipping from Nomad Cosmetics for their Sydney Bathers quad face thing and forget I have Shop Pay on, so I buy it by mistake. Luckily it\031s $4.99 on sale, and with shipping it\031s under $35 NZD. I also wear a lot of bronzer, so not a huge loss. **$32.48**\n\n8.00 pm: Shower, Shatki and Real Rad Foods sleepy thing. Then I get into bed and stare at the cracks in the ceiling because I\031m far too anxious to sleep. Honestly I had no idea what an impact running was having on my mental health and I cannot wait to get back into it. \n\n10.30 pm: Finally drop off before I\031m woken up by boy racers on the road across from us. Uncharitably wish that they have a serious accident with multiple fatalities. They keep going alllllll night. \n\nDaily total: **$32.48**\n\nDay 5\n\n6.30 am: Good morning. I slept an hour later than I meant to, but that\031s okay. Get ready, have breakfast (3 mini hot cross buns), do my extreme depuffing measures, put on makeup, remember laptop etc. Head out the door at 7.45. \n\n8.00 am: Pull into the supermarket and buy an
## 4 This may seem like such a small incident to most people but for me it was a big thing I never told anyone about and its hard for me to type this.\n\nTwo years ago I moved house with my family because my parents couldn't pay the mortgage on our fmaily house/extneded property. I was a first year in college and met this girl A from class over a college groupchat (classes were all online). \n\nI started to date her around November and December and was excited to meet someone new as I had no friends in my new area and classes were online. Up until that point I had lost 10KG/22LBS in about 9 weeks which was a massive accomplishement for me as I was always a fat child / adolescent. \n\nWe were seeing eachother for a couple of weeks and she told me she liked me, complimented me etc etc, until she met up with her ex to return a book. I received a text from her later that day after she let me on opened for hours where she basically told me she wanted to get back with her ex boyfriend and I gathered she was probably seeing him the entire time we were together. I pretty muched sucked it up, told her I didn't mind and immediatley stopped texting her and blocked her a few weeks later. \n\nMy country then went into lockdown for the next 6 months and I basically quit. I started eating junkfood again and after 2 weeks I gained 6KG. Then I started making myself throw up and took up runing. I ran my ass off and eventually got a 49 minute 10K time as I gained weight. Few months pass I'm back at square one at 82KG. Now a year later, I turned 20 two weeks ago and I'm at 86KG. It's all my fault. I quit on myself and I am monumentally dissapointed in myself. I felt like trash and I just stopped caring. \n\nIt's a year and a half on from this and I'm sitting here on another lonely friday night typing this on reddit becuase I don't have the self worth or self esteem to make friends anymore. I believe 100% that I am trash and they won't like me. \n\nI got into self improvement during this time because it's a very convenient excuse for not making friends by pretending I was too good for people but in reality I'm just a scared bitch and I'm petrified of people learning my secrets and rejecting me. \n\nI come from a very low income family and our house looks disgusting, my religious parents stop me from going out (pathetic that I listen, I'm 20!), I've been rejected by 5 girls during my time in college, I'm unlikeable, I think I have an eating disorder, I was the weird kid in school etc., \n\nIn terms of my weight and eating issues, I know this is all my fault and it's all a conscious failure of mine to moderate my eating habits or take control of my own emotional / mental state. I attended my gran aunts funeral the day of my 20th birthday and I've realised how much time I've wasted willfully being a loser. I don't work hard enough and I am NOT good enough. This was all in my control and I failed for no good reason. \n\n\nEdit: just want to add I am very ashamed and embarrassed of myself (on one level that I wasn't good enough for A and another that I became a recluse) and the scariest part of being a self pitying mess is that you get nothing done. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n* I didn't write this post to be a whiny incel, I know I'm not entitled to anyone's love or affection, it's just an event that happened in my life that I think had an impact on me and admitting this made me cringe.
## 5 I live in the Bible belt in SW Missouri. Every man I've helped I either know or am close to their circle. I'm somewhat familiar with their family or I know them personally. Over the last 7 years...their story is like mine.....well most of them.\n \nMarried a long time with kid(s) involved. \n\nThe shortest marriages were 5, 7, and 10 years. The rest were 15-20+.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI've seen everything from cheating with another woman to wanting an open marriage. One woman remarried her ex husband and the reason she said she divorced to do so was that she was not able to reach orgasm unless it was clitoral stimulation. (She told this to her pastors). wtf?\n\nCome to think of it there was another woman that had mental issues and said (I kid you not) that she was raped by Donald Trump. double wtf?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn nearly all these cases there has been infidelity involved. Two didn't but I'd almost bet they were getting contact\\messages even if they didn't physically cheat. Based on what their husbands said they were telling them....projecting and gas lighting.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe status quo is; They became bored\\discontent. They "fell out of love." They didn't "feel loved." "If only you did this\\that." "You were too controlling." "I never got to be happy". "You never let do what I wanted".\n\nNever them. Never accountable. Never responsible. Always blaming, playing the victim, and pointing fingers. Even the ones that cheated. I take that back.......there was one.......the one that slept with another chick did take ownership for the affair and was cordial with assets and children. She's still pretty out there and is a principal at a school 30 mins away. Go figure.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMany of these men have multiple children. Some even have adopted children on top of their biological. Two of them have 5 total with two adopted. My guess is that most have a cordial relationship so far as custody is concerned. Not all cases, but most.\n\n&nbsp; \n\nMy observation from being in a "Christian Conservative" smaller city of 65k is that it's reverse the bigger more progressive cities. These marriages usually start out young and do not have multiple partners prior to marriage. (Christianity 101). \n\nAround 35-40ish these women unleash their sexual appetites. Interesting, that the advent of phones\\texts\\apps\\social media.......this seems to play a part too.\n\nI could be totally wrong.........maybe it's dick downed dating apps. Just my thoughts for my geological location. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nI will say that as crazy as the one chick that divorced to remarry her ex husband was.......at least she had the decency to file it all and was done in 30-60 days or so. They didn't have children.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nJust to shed light on my own ex of 20 years......she had multiple affairs. One guy she met twice in KC on two separate occasions for 2\\3 days each time and she told me they never had intercourse. triple wtf? So I said "well what did you do if you didn't have sex?" She suddenly had amnesia. eye roll.\n\nThe second guy that I know of she was having an affair while we were going thru divorce. Pretty standard I'd guess......but the problem was that she never hid this and from the outside you'd think she was "sister Christian" while banging this dude on the side. Crying on our pastors couch the whole time. Oh and she was bringing our newborn son there as well. Just gross.\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo that's it. Just giving one man's perspective from SW Missouri..........seems that in one of the most Bible Belted Cities that women ruin their marriages over some thirsty shallow dick. Ya Ya......I'm well aware men do this but this is /r/divorce_men and I thought I'd share my perspective over the last 7 years.\n\nRecently, a guy I went to church with had his wife going to the gym getting in shape and cheated on him. Shocker. They were married 10 years. Down the drain. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nLuckily, I've been able to enlighten most of these guys. The biggest issue is that they felt alone and were the only ones going thru what they were. You should have seen their eyes when I shared my story along with some of the other. It was such a weight lifted off them.\n\nMost of them handled things well for the most part. One guy, (second marriage) packed up and left for Africa and remarried with in 6 months. quadruple wtf?\n\nI never wanted to be a divorce coach but the least I could do is be there to help them and let them know that they aren't alone. Not by a long shot. The patters, especially now, seem to be the same cliche bullshit. Unfortunately. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nHang in there fellas.......yes divorce sucks......yes it feels like it takes forever. Keep your emotions in check. Limit your alcohol and focus on goals to better yourself. You will get thru it. And with some work....you'll smile at the guy looking you in the mirror every morning. You might even grow to like him.\n\nCheers!
## 6 Well, we're still stuck fending for ourselves on this island, with access only to a bedroom, hallways, and the great outdoors. We've been able to fish, make fire, and collect rain water, and the internet helps us identify what's edible, but some things we\031re still arguing over. Such as whether or not maggots are safe to eat. I think they are, I've eaten worse. Besides, it's not like we can get sick. But I\031m getting ahead of myself. I\031ll go ahead and continue my story.\n\n&\n\n[Part 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tuv69j/the_cost_of_eternity_part_18/) - [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvmn7b/the_cost_of_eternity_part_28/)\n\nMy fear shifted to uneasy astonishment when I heard a booming bark followed by a tense demand for silence. A few seconds later, Shirley appeared at the base of the tree, his front paws on the trunk as he looked up at me, soaking wet, tongue lolling proudly. He was soon joined by Sebastian, who shuffled back and forth, his clothes drenched as he angled himself until he could glimpse me through the leaves.\n\n\034Candace?\035\n\n\034How'd you get here?" I asked, suspicious.\n\n\034Like you did.\035 He limped closer. \034How are you after a swim like that? Do you need help coming down?\035\n\n\034Whose side are you on?\035\n\n\034Ours, yours and mine. I left a suicide note on the boat, so they probably think we\031re dead now. No one should be looking for us.\035\n\n\034You had time to do that?\035\n\nHe rubbed the back of his neck as he looked down awkwardly. \034I\031ve actually had the letter for a while, just couldn\031t bring myself to do it. I couldn\031t do that to Shirley. All I had to do was add your name.\035 He cleared his throat and looked to his left. \034We need to break into the castle, but they have cameras around, so it\031s best if we wait until nightfall.\035\n\nHe slipped a soggy backpack off his shoulder. \034I got everything I could carry. I\031m sure you\031d like something to eat, you haven\031t had anything since the tuna sandwich last night.\035\n\n\034You swam over carrying that?\035\n\n\034I used to be on the swim team in high school,\035 he said with a proud smile.\n\n\034Did you get the handcuff key?\035\n\nRemorse crushed his pride. \034Yes. I got the first aid kit too &\035\n\nHe was as easy to read as he was on the boat. Confident of his sincerity, I climbed down, accepted Shirley\031s slobbery greeting, and took the key from Sebastian. His guilt was palpable as he watched me un-cuff my wrist.\n\n\034I can bandage those up for you,\035 he said.\n\n\034No, I can do it,\035 I replied as I sat down. \034Give me the first aid kit.\035\n\nHe handed it over along with a bottle of water, but I fumbled with both, my right hand completely numb. I grumbled as I tried to shake life back into it, and Sebastian sat down in front of me.\n\n\034Let me help,\035 he said, reaching out.\n\n"No."\n\n"Why not?"\n\n"I don't like being touched."\n\n"Oh." He watched me struggle in silence for a while before he said, "I took first aid training in school, I'll be professional."\n\nI looked at him in frustrated deliberation, and after a few seconds, I gave him a reluctant nod. I cringed when he held my hand, but my discomfort faded when he began tending to my injuries with gentle proficiency.\n\n\034How were you able to free yourself?\035 he asked, curious yet embarrassed.\n\n\034I shimmed the cuff with a straw.\035\n\n\034A straw? Where\031d you learn to do that?\035\n\n\034Jail.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035 After a pause, he asked, \034What were you arrested for?\035\n\n\034Breaking and entering.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035\n\nAfter he finished wrapping both my wrists, I flexed my fingers. \034How long before I get feeling back in my right hand?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know." His shame was evident as he packed up the first aid kit. \034It might take a while, just keep stretching and massaging it gently.\035\n\nHe reached in his backpack and opened a lumpy plastic bag, revealing a pair of board shorts, a T-shirt, and my sundress. \034I don\031t really have much, but I thought these might fit you. This is drawstring and this is my newest shirt. I got your dress too if you\031d rather wear that.\035\n\n\034It\031s too flashy, it\031ll attract attention out here.\035 I reached for the shorts and shirt. \034I\031ll take these, thanks.\035\n\n\034No problem. I\031m sorry I don\031t have spare shoes. I\031m wearing my only pair.\035\n\n\034It\031s okay, being barefoot doesn\031t bother me."\n\nI donned his clothes, and my lightheadedness almost made me lose my balance as I stumbled into a tree.\n\n\034Oh, careful!\035 He pulled a bag of dog food out of his backpack to show me what was underneath. \034Here, you need to eat. I got tuna, sardines, water ...\035\n\nI chose a tin of sardines and he opened it for me. He selected a can of tuna for himself, and Shirley got a generous pile of kibble. Afterwards, he passed me a water bottle and I downed it in one gluttonous go while he shared his with his dog.\n\n\034Okay, so & this is the plan.\035 He pointed towards the direction I was running. \034That side of the castle is the back end. I\031ll wait until nightfall and sneak over. Then I can take out the cameras with this.\035 He opened a side zipper on his backpack and pulled out a small, wooden slingshot.\n\nI took it from him and inspected it, amused. \034I don\031t think I\031ve ever seen an adult with one of these.\035\n\nHe chuckled. \034Gregor gave it to me when I complained about the unloaded gun. He did it as a joke, but I had one as a kid and was pretty good with it. Still am.\035\n\n\034Wouldn\031t taking out the cameras attract attention?\035 I asked as I handed it back to him.\n\n\034Probably, but at least they won\031t know where we are, giving us time to find the control room.\035\n\n"What's a control room?"\n\n"It\031s where they control everything, including the boats and phones. I'm certain they have one." He shoved the slingshot in his pocket. \034Our best bet is either the ground floor near the entrance, or the basement. I remember seeing a room there where\024\035\n\n\034You\031ve been here before?\035 I asked in surprise. \034Like, inside the castle? You\031ve met your boss?\035\n\n\034No, I haven't met the boss, but Gregor gave me a tour right after bringing Shirley and me here on a fancy yacht and feeding us like kings.\035 He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. \034It was amazing. He promised me a chance to live here, a life better than the one I had, if I agreed to deliver on call for five years. What\031s the worst they\031d ask me to deliver? I signed the damned contract without reading it.\035\n\n\034Why couldn\031t you just tell the police when you found out what you had to do?\035\n\n\034Gregor told me the whole world is in their pocket. If I snitched, investigations would lead to nothing, Shirley and I would get killed, and a new gullible moron would be hired in my place.\035\n\n\034Couldn\031t you have ran and hid?\035\n\n\034Gregor said they monitored everything. I was scared they\031d find me and Shirley.\035 He looked down. \034And I have nowhere to go. I\031m a nobody, I have nobody. I would\031ve died out there & so, I just stuck with it. Kept my eye on the prize. Gregor made me run all sorts of errands, and when it came to delivering people, it was easy to distance myself because I didn\031t know who they were, why they were chosen, or what was going to happen to them.\035\n\nMy thoughts darkened. \034How many people have you delivered?\035\n\n\034Two guys and two girls before you.\035\n\n\034Were any of them kids?\035\n\nHe looked at me in shock. \034No, none! They were all, like, late teens, early twenties maybe. I don\031t know exactly, but they were all adults, no kids.\035\n\n\034So, you were ready to make peace with that? To live the life of luxury on the backs of innocent people you\031ve kidnapped? What if they asked you to start killing them, or worse?\035\n\n\034They wouldn\031t. I only deliver.\035\n\n\034You think they\031re offering to let you live here out of the goodness of their hearts?\035 I asked, my exhausted aggravation letting my temper take over. \034They\031re recruiting you to do whatever messed up shit they\031re doing! If I was in your place, I\031d have killed myself the moment I found out I\031d be delivering people to some psychopaths.\035\n\nHe scowled in offense. \034And they\031d have hired someone else to replace you. You wouldn\031t have solved anything. And I have Shirley to think about.\035\n\nShirley\031s anxious eyes darted between the two of us, sensing the charged tension.\n\n\034I\031d have chosen to live the rest of my life in the streets than agree to some shady deal like that,\035 I said.\n\n\034You have no idea what it was like out there.\035\n\n\034I don\031t? *I* don\031t?\035\n\n\034No, you don\031t,\035 he snapped. \034The streets were your home, but they weren\031t mine. You have no idea what I was subjected to. How hard it was to guarantee Shirley\031s survival. My own survival.\035\n\n\034If you\031re too stupid to figure out how to survive, then you might as well die.\035\n\nHe bristled. \034You know, I should\031ve taped you up yesterday and just & never had to deal with this. You ruined my life!\035\n\nI stood up, incredulous. \034*I* ruined *your* life?\035\n\n\034Yes, you!\035 he yelled as he stood up as well. \034It was all going to work out! I had three years left and me and Shirley would\031ve been set! I wish I never let you talk! I wish I never met you! I wish I never & felt *this*!\035 He gestured in frustration to himself, his hands alternating between his head and chest.\n\nI shied away as I hugged myself, wondering if I misread him. \034What do you mean by *\030this\031*?\035\n\n\034I don\031t *know*, and I hate it! I hate it because for the first time in my life, that \030off\031 feeling is gone, and I hate that it\031s because of you! I hate that I don\031t know *why* it\031s because of you! I hate that I turned the boat around because of you! I hate that Shirley\031s in danger because of you! I hate & I hate myself. I hate myself &\035\n\nHis posture drooped and he leaned against a tree and slid to the ground, ducking his head and gripping the back of his neck. I hugged myself tighter as his concentrated flood of emotions hit me hard. Despite his choice of words, I didn\031t sense hatred, I sensed heartbreak.\n\nHe was heartbroken at the loss of the promised utopian life he let slip through his fingers & because of me. He was heartbroken at the ugly perspective he was no longer blind to & because of me.\n\nI didn\031t know what to say as I watched him brood, Shirley nuzzling him in concern. Sebastian was a gullible and desperate person, one who was taken advantage of. One who wasn\031t used to a difficult life. One who had a dog that was his responsibility and his only companion. One who had a heart that clashed with a selfish promise.\n\nOne who also felt an inexplicable link between us.\n\n\034Do you hate me?\035 I asked.\n\nThere was no answer, but he did release a heavy, wavering sigh.\n\nI tried again. \034Do you regret turning the boat around?\035\n\nHe lifted his head and leaned back against the tree, welcoming Shirley\031s affection with his own but remaining silent.\n\nI expressed my biggest concern as I asked, \034If they gave you a second chance, would you take it?\035\n\nHe finally looked up at me, and I could see the taunting visions of a perfect future dancing behind the yearning in his eyes. He looked away, ashamed and frustrated, his lips pressed together in a thin, tense line.\n\n\034Sebastian, I want to know if I can trust you.\035\n\nHe frowned and busied himself with adjusting Shirley\031s collar.\n\n\034I know you lost a lot,\035 I said, softening my tone, \034and the temptation of getting it back made you blind. But you\031re not blind anymore, and you made a choice. A very selfless choice that I\031m grateful for. And I sensed that in you. I sensed good. I sensed &\035 I took a deep breath. \034I sensed something too & between us.\035\n\nHe snorted with skepticism. \034I\031m sure.\035\n\n\034No, I did. Not at first. At first I hated you. But under the stars, when you asked about my mom\031s song and we talked, I felt this & something. This & wholeness. I hated you again after breakfast, but then, now & here we are.\035\n\nHe glanced up at me, his skepticism muted by an unexpected vulnerability. \034You don\031t still hate me?\035\n\n\034No, I don\031t. Not anymore. I know how temptation can be. We all make bad choices, it\031s how we choose to fix them that matters. And you\031re trying. I don\031t understand this feeling between us either, but maybe it\031s because we both know what it\031s like to be mistreated by others. Whatever it is, it got us this far and it might take us to safety & if we trust each other.\035\n\nMy words must have struck a chord because he sat up and locked eyes with me. \034You can trust me. And I trust you. We\031re in this together, and I promise I\031ll try my best to keep us safe.\035\n\nI nodded, his sincerity a relief. \034Okay, that\031s good to hear.\035\n\nHe checked his watch. \034The sun sets in six hours, so we have until then to come up with a solid plan.\035\n\nI sat down again, and Shirley made his way over and plopped his head on my lap. \034I thought we were going to go to the castle at night, take out the cameras, and sneak in to find the control room,\035 I said as I massaged Shirley\031s ears.\n\n"No, *I\031m* going to do all that. You\031re going to stay here with Shirley and make sure he doesn\031t do anything stupid. Afterwards, I'll\024\035\n\n\034What! I\031m not a dog-sitter! I\031m also more experienced than you at sneaking into places.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t you get arrested?\035\n\n\034It was just that one time!\035\n\n\034You can\031t even feel your right hand.\035\n\n\034I don\031t need to feel it to use it.\035\n\n"You\031re barefoot.\035\n\n\034All the better for sneaking around. At least I\031m not limping.\035\n\nHe rubbed his knee, sighing. \034Look, they want you. I\031ll feel better knowing you\031re safe out here, and that Shirley is safe with you.\035\n\n\034We\031re going inside together.\035\n\n\034Candace, I just told you you can trust me,\035 he said in exasperation. \034I won\031t double-cross you.\035\n\n\034It\031s not that, I\031m just worried! What if something happens to you, how will I know? Together, we can change the plan as we go. And we\031ll take Shirley with us. He can protect us.\035\n\n\034No,\035 he said, his severity startling me.\n\n\034Why not? Look at him! His size is enough to scare people away.\035\n\nHe looked away, thoughts clouding his eyes before he lowered his head. \034Once, before I got hired, some assholes messed with me while I was trying to find a place to sleep,\035 he said quietly. \034Shirley\031s a gentle giant, but he\031s very protective of me. He tried to defend me, but there were many of them.\035\n\nHis voice cracked as he continued, \034They beat him until he was unconscious, then they & they told me to do whatever they wanted or else they\031d kill him.\035\n\nI hugged Shirley\031s head. \034Oh no, Sebastian, I\031m sorry,\035 I said, my voice trembling as I knew first-hand the depravity the strong flaunt upon the weak.\n\n\034We were lucky. It could\031ve been worse. But, ever since, I promised I wouldn\031t put Shirley in that position again.\035 He let out a self-deprecating scoff. \034And then I went and signed that contract like a moron.\035 He sighed. \034I\031ve been doing what I have to, to keep him safe, but now that we\031re free, I don\031t want to put him in danger.\035\n\nI nodded. \034I understand. He can wait out here for us. But I\031m not staying with him. I\031m coming with you.\035\n\n\034Look, how about we get some rest and decide after we wake up? I\031m bushed and you look like something the cat dragged in. We need sleep if we\031re going to do anything tonight.\035 He adjusted his watch. \034I set the alarm five hours from now. Is that good?\035\n\n\034Is it safe sleeping out here?\035 I asked, looking around.\n\n\034Yes, Gregor told me there are no predators on the island.\035\n\n\034Except for them.\035\n\n\034They don\031t know we\031re alive, we should be fine. If anyone approaches, Shirley will smell them and let us know before they even see us.\035\n\n\034Okay &\035 I said, reluctant. \034But wake me up if I don\031t hear the alarm. Promise you won\031t leave without me. We\031re in this together.\035\n\n\034I promise.\035\n\n...\n\nI didn\031t realize I'd fallen asleep until I felt a bug crawling on my face. Leaves rustled under me as I brushed it off, and my eyes popped open, my pulse accelerating. I sprang up, then sighed with relief when I saw Sebastian sleeping a few feet away, Shirley\031s snoring head on his stomach.\n\nWithout a watch of my own, I crawled over to glance at his, only to jump back with a yelp as it began beeping. My cry caused Shirley to lift his head and bark in solidarity, which led to a cacophony of startled birds overhead.\n\nSebastian jolted into a sitting position, panic slicing through his grogginess as he fumbled with his watch and looked around with wide eyes. \034What? Are they here?\035\n\n\034No, no,\035 I quickly said. \034Your alarm rang and I wasn\031t expecting it, that\031s all.\035\n\nHis breaths regulated and he managed a chuckle. \034I swear, Candace & if an alarm\031s got you jumpy, then maybe we\031re better off if you stayed here with Shirley.\035\n\n\034Very funny,\035 I said, unamused, as I reached for his backpack. \034What else do you have in here, I\031m hungry again.\035 I shoved aside the cans and found a stash of chocolate-covered marshmallow and jelly candy bars. \034Oh, I love these!\035 I said, grabbing one and tearing the wrapper off.\n\n\034Me too. I recently discovered them, they\031re dirt cheap but really good.\035\n\n\034I\031ve got a weakness for marshmallows,\035 I said, my mouth full. \034Derek\031s been trying to help me cut down on all the unhealthy stuff, but before I met him I used to go to the dollar store and splurge.\035\n\nSebastian poured a handful of kibble on the ground for Shirley before he reached for his own candy bar. \034I like marshmallows too. The only reason I liked camping was because we\031d make s\031mores. And hot chocolate for me is basically a mug of marshmallows with a little hot chocolate drizzle as garnish.\035\n\nA grin lit up his face, and I froze as its playfulness stirred a distant echo in the recesses of my mind. My candy bar hovered half-way to my mouth as I tried to seize the elusive memory.\n\nSebastian\031s grin vanished. \034What? Do I have something in my teeth?\035\n\nHis question made me realize I was staring and I snapped out of it. \034No, I just & never mind.\035\n\nHe took a bite and chewed for a few seconds before one of the questions floating behind his eyes escaped. \034When you said you were ambidextrous, did you mean it?\035\n\n\034I never said that! I don\031t even know what it means!\035\n\n\034It means you\031re both left and right-handed.\035\n\n\034Oh. Yea, I think I am. I mean, I do stuff easily with both hands. Why?\035\n\n\034I\031m ambidextrous too. I just thought it was a cool coincidence because there aren\031t a lot of us. I think we make up one percent of the total population.\035 He took another bite. \034What do you know about your past, before you were homeless?\035\n\nI shrugged. \034I don\031t remember anything except my mom\031s singing. I have no records. I don\031t know my birthday, I don\031t even know my last name. Derek\031s been trying to help me in that department, but he says it takes a lot to bring someone into existence.\035\n\n\034Oh.\035\n\nI tossed the empty wrapper in the backpack. \034It\031s getting dark, shouldn\031t we get moving?\035\n\nHe nodded. \034How\031s your hand? Can you feel it?\035\n\nI flexed my fingers. \034Sort of. It\031s still a bit tingly but I can use it. Let\031s go.\035\n\nAfter we went our separate ways to answer the call of nature, we packed up and Sebastian filled his pockets with stones, ammunition for his slingshot. He then told Shirley to sit and stay, resulting in doleful whines fading behind us as we walked towards the castle, navigating by crescent moonlight.\n\nWhen we made it to the back end of the castle, we stayed behind the trees as we searched for any cameras. There weren\031t any, which wasn\031t surprising as there didn\031t seem to be any windows. Just an entire wall of jagged stone. It looked like the castle itself was carved out of a mountain.\n\nSebastian drew my attention to a row of low, narrow windows, like those of a basement. They were easy to miss, and one was cracked open. The only way we'd be able to fit was if we slithered in on our stomachs, and I didn\031t hesitate as I darted over and squeezed through, Sebastian\031s panicked whispers following me as I landed inside a dark room.\n\nNo sooner had my feet touched the cold, marble floor that the room flooded with brilliant lights. A gasp squeaked in my throat and I ducked behind a massive, bronze globe, holding my breath as I tried to listen for another person\031s presence above my thundering pulse.\n\nAfter a few seconds of silence, I peeked above the globe. The room was huge but void of life, the musty smell of old books mingling with that of leather and wood polish. I scanned the corners with anxious eyes, and I relaxed when I didn\031t find any cameras.\n\nA tense whisper came through the window. \034Candace?\035\n\n\034I & I think the lights are motion-activated,\035 I said as I stood up, shaking off my nerves. \034There\031s no one here, and no cameras, I think.\035\n\nSebastian studied the room. \034This is a library of some sort. And that section looks like a museum. There have to be cameras in here.\035\n\n\034If you find one, just shoot it down." I hustled past the leather couches in the center of the room. \034Come on.\035\n\n\034Candace! Candace, wait! My bag doesn\031t fit!\035\n\n\034Then grab what you need and leave it outside!\035\n\nAs I continued towards the door at the far end, I could hear Sebastian grumble before he landed with a grunt. Despite the urgency, I couldn\031t help but slow down as I looked at the glass cases lining the entire wall to my right. They were filled with collections ranging from artwork to antique weapons, and I walked past them with awe until one painting stopped me in my tracks.\n\nIt was a portrait of a teenage boy from the chest up. The ruffles of his old-fashioned collar grazed his pointed chin and his dark hair was combed away from his smug, pasty face, but his eyes were what left me speechless.\n\nThey were Sebastian\031s.\n\nThe upturned, hazel eyes stared at me from the painting, deep-set and expressive. Their unquestionable similarity was another mystery piled atop the others, and fear crawled under my skin as I wondered if my instincts had failed me. If Sebastian had duped me with his sob story. If he was related to this teenager in the painting.\n\nI turned towards Sebastian. He was at the opposite side of the room, standing between an ornate, wooden desk and a congested bookshelf that took up an entire wall. He was staring at a large, open book on the desk, his hand laying still atop the page. He wasn\031t in any hurry to find a control room.\n\n\034Sebastian?\035 I said, my voice hitching with disquieted tension. \034What are you doing?\035\n\nHe looked up at me, his face ashen. \034Candace, come see this.\035\n\n\034What\031s going on here? Why aren\031t you\024\035\n\n\034Candace, please &\035\n\nHis lost expression replaced my wariness with nervous curiosity. I walked over, and he stepped to the side and gestured towards the book.\n\n\034It was open to this when we came in.\035\n\nI scanned the page, and my jaw dropped in shock. There, fastened to the corner, was a photo of a woman with two small children on her lap. She was stunning, with dark, glowing skin, rich, brown eyes, long, braided hair &\n\n& and Sebastian\031s perfect, gleaming smile.\n\nIt was unmistakable, and it triggered my elusive memory once again. Desperate to understand how this was possible, I turned to the text on the page. Her name was Celine, and the page summarized her life in neat, flowing cursive. She was a secretary with aspirations for becoming a mayor. She volunteered at homeless shelters. She was an only child.\n\nHer address and contact information were struck-through. They were outdated, since Celine had died fifteen years ago, murdered in a mugging while walking home with her children. The same children in the photo. They were twins, Candace and Caleb. They\031d be turning twenty in two days.\n\nI looked at Sebastian, our eyes exchanging their utter loss and confusion.\n\n\034You look like her,\035 he whispered.\n\n\034No, I don\031t,\035 I snapped. \034She\031s beautiful.\035\n\n\034Candace, she\031s our mom. We\031re & we\031re &\035\n\n\034No. No, impossible.\035\n\n\034Keep reading.\035\n\nI looked back down, raking the page for an explanation. There was an alphanumeric code under the name Candace, followed by quick notes summarizing her health and progress up until the age of five. Then, nothing. Nothing until two years ago, where it concisely summarized *my* arrest, *my* relationship with Derek Jackson, *my* health progress, *my* address, and even *my* dog Sherlock Bones.\n\nCaleb\031s section continued past the age of five. Under his alphanumeric code was a brief rundown of his discovery at a church's steps, his entry into an orphanage, his adoption by Ernest and May Benson, his name change to Sebastian, his health, his education, his dog Sherlock, his descent into destitution, and, finally, his hiring as a delivery guy.\n\n\034I & I don\031t understand,\035 I said, my voice shaking. \034How & what is this?\035\n\nI flipped through the unwieldy book. There were over a hundred pages, each with a professional photo of a woman. Their kids accompanied them, some male, some female, few twins, fewer triplets.\n\n\034Who are these women?\035 I asked, uneasy as I scanned their smiling faces.\n\n\034I don\031t know, but that volume is only for our birth year,\035 Sebastian said, facing the bookshelf behind us. \034There\031s one for each year since &\035 He walked to the right until he reached the end of the bookshelf. \034Damn, these span almost a thousand years. Wait, look, there\031s a ledger.\035\n\nHe pulled out a bulky ledger, its red leather binding cracked with age, and he flipped it open. Each yellowed page was filled with five columns of names and dates, all neatly written in the same flowing cursive. Some names had a hand-drawn star next to them, some had an \034X\035, some had a check mark, and some had a triangle.\n\nI took the ledger from Sebastian and flipped through it, looking for the columns with Candace and Caleb\031s birth year. Our birth year. Then I compared the names with those in the book on the desk. They were almost a perfect match. I found my name. It had a star next to it. I couldn\031t find Sebastian\031s name. I looked up at him in stressed confusion, only to see his eyes expand.\n\n\034What is it?\035 I asked.\n\n\034This is the guy I delivered before you,\035 he said, pointing to a name with a star next to it. He scanned the pages and pointed to another starred name. \034This girl too &\035\n\nI flipped through the rest of the ledger. \034Have all the people with stars been delivered here?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know. I'm not the only delivery guy."\n\n\034What about the people without stars?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034Why aren\031t you in here?\035\n\n\034I don\031t know, Candace,\035 he said helplessly. \034I have no idea what this is.\035\n\nI went back to the book on the table, desperate for answers. \034What about these letters and numbers under our names?\035\n\nSebastian turned and squinted as he tried to read the spines of the binders on the upper shelves. \034Those are organized alphanumerically.\035 He pulled over a wrought-iron step ladder and climbed up. \034Tell me our codes, maybe I can find them.\035\n\nI rattled them off, and he pulled down two binders, handing me mine. I whipped it open, and my breath caught in my lungs when I saw a photo of my smiling face. It was the one Derek took of me when he surprised me with Sherlock Bones. How did it end up here?\n\nMy hands trembled as I flipped through the rest of the pages with disbelieving eyes. Everything was here. My medical reports from Derek\031s office, candid photos, even my diet regimen. This exhaustive invasion of privacy was mind-boggling, amplifying my frightened confusion.\n\nWith my pulse racing, I turned to Sebastian. He was just as shaken as I was, his binder cataloging everything in his life, including his report cards, phone logs, and browser history.\n\n\034W-why do they have all this?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Who are they?\035\n\nHe couldn\031t stop staring at a photo of himself sleeping in a bus shelter with Shirley. \034I & I don\031t know.\035\n\n\034Maybe I can help,\035 a strange, male voice said.\n\nSebastian and I jumped and looked around in frantic alarm, tried to find who said that. We jumped again at a disembodied chuckle, and Sebastian fished a stone out of his pocket and loaded his slingshot while I grabbed a gold letter opener off the desk. With our backs pressed against each other, our jittery hearts thudded in unison as we scanned the corners with wild eyes.\n\nThere was no one in the room.\n\n\034Is & is this place h-haunted?\035 I asked with a shaky whisper.\n\n\034N-no, there\031s no such thing,\035 Sebastian said. \034There have to be speakers or something.\035\n\n\034Someone knows we\031re here?\035 I asked, my fear spiking. \034Is it Gregor?\035\n\n\034N-no, that isn\031t his voice.\035 Sebastian gulped. \034Let\031s leave before anyone actually comes in here.\035\n\nWith our backs still pressed against each other, we made our way to the window, the slingshot loaded in Sebastian\031s trembling hands, the letter opener held up in my tense grip. We didn\031t make it past the bronze globe before a bark boomed from across the room.\n\nShirley.\n\nWe both gasped and turned towards the door, dread coating my mind as Shirley\031s cries echoed down the hall. Despite our precautions, they still found him.\n\n\034For the sake of the dog, I suggest you put your weapons down and take a seat,\035 the voice said.\n\nThe slingshot clattered against the marble floor as Sebastian walked towards the leather couches, but I didn\031t move. He paused and turned to me, and his despair wrung my heart. He took a risk turning the boat around for me. He took a risk helping me get this far. As much as I wanted to run, I couldn\031t do that to him. I couldn\031t do that to Shirley.\n\nWith a quivering breath, I dropped the letter opener and joined Sebastian. We sank into the soft leather, gulping, our tense breaths synchronous as we waited in anxious anticipation.\n\nShirley\031s barks got louder and louder until a muscular, middle-aged man led him through the door by his leash, and Sebastian\031s despair multiplied as he whispered, \034Oh no, Gregor.\035\n\nI stared at the man, his stature imposing even from across the vast room. \034Th-that\031s Gregor?\035\n\nSebastian nodded, tearful as Shirley strained against his leash as he tried to run over to us.\n\n\034Sebastian, your delivery is a few hours late,\035 Gregor said with a smirk, giving the leash a harsh tug. \034How about you tell your horse to shut up so the humans can talk?\035\n\nSebastian\031s voice wavered as he said, \034Sh-Shirley, shush.\035\n\nShirley obeyed, his chestnut eyes bouncing between Sebastian and me.\n\n\034Candace, Sebastian, I\031d like to welcome you to my home,\035 the voice said, a subtle pretentiousness lilting its neutral accent. "My name is Alexander, but you may call me Alex. Or, if you prefer, father.\035\n\nSebastian and I turned to each other in absolute shock and incredulity.\n\n\\-----\n\n[Part 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tuv69j/the_cost_of_eternity_part_18/) - [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tvmn7b/the_cost_of_eternity_part_28/) - **Part 3** - [Part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tx9ew4/the_cost_of_eternity_part_48/) - [Part 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/ty0xl2/the_cost_of_eternity_part_58/) - [Part 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/tyrret/the_cost_of_eternity_part_68/) - *Part 7* - *Part 8*\n\n\\-----\n\n[SR](https://www.reddit.com/r/skittishreflections)
## 7 **A Study In Scarlet**\n\n**PART I.**\n\n*(Being a reprint from the reminiscences of* \n John H. Watson, M.D., \n *late of the Army Medical Department.)* \n\n**Chapter I.**\n\n**Mr. Sherlock Holmes**\n\nIn the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the army. Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers as Assistant Surgeon. The regiment was stationed in India at the time, and before I could join it, the second Afghan war had broken out. On landing at Bombay, I learned that my corps had advanced through the passes, and was already deep in the enemy's country. I followed, however, with many other officers who were in the same situation as myself, and succeeded in reaching Candahar in safety, where I found my regiment, and at once entered upon my new duties.\n\nThe campaign brought honours and promotion to many, but for me it had nothing but misfortune and disaster. I was removed from my brigade and attached to the Berkshires, with whom I served at the fatal battle of Maiwand. There I was struck on the shoulder by a Jezail bullet, which shattered the bone and grazed the subclavian artery. I should have fallen into the hands of the murderous Ghazis had it not been for the devotion and courage shown by Murray, my orderly, who threw me across a pack-horse, and succeeded in bringing me safely to the British lines.\n\nWorn with pain, and weak from the prolonged hardships which I had undergone, I was removed, with a great train of wounded sufferers, to the base hospital at Peshawar. Here I rallied, and had already improved so far as to be able to walk about the wards, and even to bask a little upon the verandah, when I was struck down by enteric fever, that curse of our Indian possessions. For months my life was despaired of, and when at last I came to myself and became convalescent, I was so weak and emaciated that a medical board determined that not a day should be lost in sending me back to England. I was dispatched, accordingly, in the troopship *Orontes*, and landed a month later on Portsmouth jetty, with my health irretrievably ruined, but with permission from a paternal government to spend the next nine months in attempting to improve it.\n\nI had neither kith nor kin in England, and was therefore as free as air\024or as free as an income of eleven shillings and sixpence a day will permit a man to be. Under such circumstances, I naturally gravitated to London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained. There I stayed for some time at a private hotel in the Strand, leading a comfortless, meaningless existence, and spending such money as I had, considerably more freely than I ought. So alarming did the state of my finances become, that I soon realized that I must either leave the metropolis and rusticate somewhere in the country, or that I must make a complete alteration in my style of living. Choosing the latter alternative, I began by making up my mind to leave the hotel, and to take up my quarters in some less pretentious and less expensive domicile.\n\nOn the very day that I had come to this conclusion, I was standing at the Criterion Bar, when some one tapped me on the shoulder, and turning round I recognized young Stamford, who had been a dresser under me at Bart's. The sight of a friendly face in the great wilderness of London is a pleasant thing indeed to a lonely man. In old days Stamford had never been a particular crony of mine, but now I hailed him with enthusiasm, and he, in his turn, appeared to be delighted to see me. In the exuberance of my joy, I asked him to lunch with me at the Holborn, and we started off together in a hansom.\n\n\034Whatever have you been doing with yourself, Watson?\035 he asked in undisguised wonder, as we rattled through the crowded London streets. \034You are as thin as a lath and as brown as a nut.\035\n\nI gave him a short sketch of my adventures, and had hardly concluded it by the time that we reached our destination.\n\n\034Poor devil!\035 he said, commiseratingly, after he had listened to my misfortunes. \034What are you up to now?\035\n\n\034Looking for lodgings,\035 I answered. \034Trying to solve the problem as to whether it is possible to get comfortable rooms at a reasonable price.\035\n\n\034That's a strange thing,\035 remarked my companion; \034you are the second man to-day that has used that expression to me.\035\n\n\034And who was the first?\035 I asked.\n\n\034A fellow who is working at the chemical laboratory up at the hospital. He was bemoaning himself this morning because he could not get someone to go halves with him in some nice rooms which he had found, and which were too much for his purse.\035\n\n\034By Jove!\035 I cried, \034if he really wants someone to share the rooms and the expense, I am the very man for him. I should prefer having a partner to being alone.\035\n\nYoung Stamford looked rather strangely at me over his wine-glass. \034You don't know Sherlock Holmes yet,\035 he said; \034perhaps you would not care for him as a constant companion.\035\n\n\034Why, what is there against him?\035\n\n\034Oh, I didn't say there was anything against him. He is a little queer in his ideas\024an enthusiast in some branches of science. As far as I know he is a decent fellow enough.\035\n\n\034A medical student, I suppose?\035 said I.\n\n\034No\024I have no idea what he intends to go in for. I believe he is well up in anatomy, and he is a first-class chemist; but, as far as I know, he has never taken out any systematic medical classes. His studies are very desultory and eccentric, but he has amassed a lot of out-of-the way knowledge which would astonish his professors.\035\n\n\034Did you never ask him what he was going in for?\035 I asked.\n\n\034No; he is not a man that it is easy to draw out, though he can be communicative enough when the fancy seizes him.\035\n\n\034I should like to meet him,\035 I said. \034If I am to lodge with anyone, I should prefer a man of studious and quiet habits. I am not strong enough yet to stand much noise or excitement. I had enough of both in Afghanistan to last me for the remainder of my natural existence. How could I meet this friend of yours?\035\n\n\034He is sure to be at the laboratory,\035 returned my companion. \034He either avoids the place for weeks, or else he works there from morning to night. If you like, we shall drive round together after luncheon.\035\n\n\034Certainly,\035 I answered, and the conversation drifted away into other channels.\n\nAs we made our way to the hospital after leaving the Holborn, Stamford gave me a few more particulars about the gentleman whom I proposed to take as a fellow-lodger.\n\n\034You mustn't blame me if you don't get on with him,\035 he said; \034I know nothing more of him than I have learned from meeting him occasionally in the laboratory. You proposed this arrangement, so you must not hold me responsible.\035\n\n\034If we don't get on it will be easy to part company,\035 I answered. \034It seems to me, Stamford,\035 I added, looking hard at my companion, \034that you have some reason for washing your hands of the matter. Is this fellow's temper so formidable, or what is it? Don't be mealy-mouthed about it.\035\n\n\034It is not easy to express the inexpressible,\035 he answered with a laugh. \034Holmes is a little too scientific for my tastes\024it approaches to cold-bloodedness. I could imagine his giving a friend a little pinch of the latest vegetable alkaloid, not out of malevolence, you understand, but simply out of a spirit of inquiry in order to have an accurate idea of the effects. To do him justice, I think that he would take it himself with the same readiness. He appears to have a passion for definite and exact knowledge.\035\n\n\034Very right too.\035\n\n\034Yes, but it may be pushed to excess. When it comes to beating the subjects in the dissecting-rooms with a stick, it is certainly taking rather a bizarre shape.\035\n\n\034Beating the subjects!\035\n\n\034Yes, to verify how far bruises may be produced after death. I saw him at it with my own eyes.\035\n\n\034And yet you say he is not a medical student?\035\n\n\034No. Heaven knows what the objects of his studies are. But here we are, and you must form your own impressions about him.\035 As he spoke, we turned down a narrow lane and passed through a small side-door, which opened into a wing of the great hospital. It was familiar ground to me, and I needed no guiding as we ascended the bleak stone staircase and made our way down the long corridor with its vista of whitewashed wall and dun-coloured doors. Near the further end a low arched passage branched away from it and led to the chemical laboratory.\n\nThis was a lofty chamber, lined and littered with countless bottles. Broad, low tables were scattered about, which bristled with retorts, test-tubes, and little Bunsen lamps, with their blue flickering flames. There was only one student in the room, who was bending over a distant table absorbed in his work. At the sound of our steps he glanced round and sprang to his feet with a cry of pleasure. \034I've found it! I've found it,\035 he shouted to my companion, running towards us with a test-tube in his hand. \034I have found a re-agent which is precipitated by hSmoglobin, and by nothing else.\035 Had he discovered a gold mine, greater delight could not have shone upon his features.\n\n\034Dr. Watson, Mr. Sherlock Holmes,\035 said Stamford, introducing us.\n\n\034How are you?\035 he said cordially, gripping my hand with a strength for which I should hardly have given him credit. \034You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.\035\n\n\034How on earth did you know that?\035 I asked in astonishment.\n\n\034Never mind,\035 said he, chuckling to himself. \034The question now is about hSmoglobin. No doubt you see the significance of this discovery of mine?\035\n\n\034It is interesting, chemically, no doubt,\035 I answered, \034but practically\024\035\n\n\034Why, man, it is the most practical medico-legal discovery for years. Don't you see that it gives us an infallible test for blood stains. Come over here now!\035 He seized me by the coat-sleeve in his eagerness, and drew me over to the table at which he had been working. \034Let us have some fresh blood,\035 he said, digging a long bodkin into his finger, and drawing off the resulting drop of blood in a chemical pipette. \034Now, I add this small quantity of blood to a litre of water. You perceive that the resulting mixture has the appearance of pure water. The proportion of blood cannot be more than one in a million. I have no doubt, however, that we shall be able to obtain the characteristic reaction.\035 As he spoke, he threw into the vessel a few white crystals, and then added some drops of a transparent fluid. In an instant the contents assumed a dull mahogany colour, and a brownish dust was precipitated to the bottom of the glass jar.\n\n\034Ha! ha!\035 he cried, clapping his hands, and looking as delighted as a child with a new toy. \034What do you think of that?\035\n\n\034It seems to be a very delicate test,\035 I remarked.\n\n\034Beautiful! beautiful! The old Guiacum test was very clumsy and uncertain. So is the microscopic examination for blood corpuscles. The latter is valueless if the stains are a few hours old. Now, this appears to act as well whether the blood is old or new. Had this test been invented, there are hundreds of men now walking the earth who would long ago have paid the penalty of their crimes.\035\n\n\034Indeed!\035 I murmured.\n\n\034Criminal cases are continually hinging upon that one point. A man is suspected of a crime months perhaps after it has been committed. His linen or clothes are examined, and brownish stains discovered upon them. Are they blood stains, or mud stains, or rust stains, or fruit stains, or what are they? That is a question which has puzzled many an expert, and why? Because there was no reliable test. Now we have the Sherlock Holmes' test, and there will no longer be any difficulty.\035\n\nHis eyes fairly glittered as he spoke, and he put his hand over his heart and bowed as if to some applauding crowd conjured up by his imagination.\n\n\034You are to be congratulated,\035 I remarked, considerably surprised at his enthusiasm.\n\n\034There was the case of Von Bischoff at Frankfort last year. He would certainly have been hung had this test been in existence. Then there was Mason of Bradford, and the notorious Muller, and Lefevre of Montpellier, and Samson of new Orleans. I could name a score of cases in which it would have been decisive.\035\n\n\034You seem to be a walking calendar of crime,\035 said Stamford with a laugh. \034You might start a paper on those lines. Call it the \030Police News of the Past.\031\035\n\n\034Very interesting reading it might be made, too,\035 remarked Sherlock Holmes, sticking a small piece of plaster over the prick on his finger. \034I have to be careful,\035 he continued, turning to me with a smile, \034for I dabble with poisons a good deal.\035 He held out his hand as he spoke, and I noticed that it was all mottled over with similar pieces of plaster, and discoloured with strong acids.\n\n\034We came here on business,\035 said Stamford, sitting down on a high three-legged stool, and pushing another one in my direction with his foot. \034My friend here wants to take diggings, and as you were complaining that you could get no one to go halves with you, I thought that I had better bring you together.\035\n\nSherlock Holmes seemed delighted at the idea of sharing his rooms with me. \034I have my eye on a suite in Baker Street,\035 he said, \034which would suit us down to the ground. You don't mind the smell of strong tobacco, I hope?\035\n\n\034I always smoke \030ship's\031 myself,\035 I answered.\n\n\034That's good enough. I generally have chemicals about, and occasionally do experiments. Would that annoy you?\035\n\n\034By no means.\035\n\n\034Let me see\024what are my other shortcomings. I get in the dumps at times, and don't open my mouth for days on end. You must not think I am sulky when I do that. Just let me alone, and I'll soon be right. What have you to confess now? It's just as well for two fellows to know the worst of one another before they begin to live together.\035\n\nI laughed at this cross-examination. \034I keep a bull pup,\035 I said, \034and I object to rows because my nerves are shaken, and I get up at all sorts of ungodly hours, and I am extremely lazy. I have another set of vices when I'm well, but those are the principal ones at present.\035\n\n\034Do you include violin-playing in your category of rows?\035 he asked, anxiously.\n\n\034It depends on the player,\035 I answered. \034A well-played violin is a treat for the gods\024a badly-played one\024\035\n\n\034Oh, that's all right,\035 he cried, with a merry laugh. \034I think we may consider the thing as settled\024that is, if the rooms are agreeable to you.\035\n\n\034When shall we see them?\035\n\n\034Call for me here at noon to-morrow, and we'll go together and settle everything,\035 he answered.\n\n\034All right\024noon exactly,\035 said I, shaking his hand.\n\nWe left him working among his chemicals, and we walked together towards my hotel.\n\n\034By the way,\035 I asked suddenly, stopping and turning upon Stamford, \034how the deuce did he know that I had come from Afghanistan?\035\n\nMy companion smiled an enigmatical smile. \034That's just his little peculiarity,\035 he said. \034A good many people have wanted to know how he finds things out.\035\n\n\034Oh! a mystery is it?\035 I cried, rubbing my hands. \034This is very piquant. I am much obliged to you for bringing us together. \030The proper study of mankind is man,\031 you know.\035\n\n\034You must study him, then,\035 Stamford said, as he bade me good-bye. \034You'll find him a knotty problem, though. I'll wager he learns more about you than you about him. Good-bye.\035\n\n\034Good-bye,\035 I answered, and strolled on to my hotel, considerably interested in my new acquaintance.\n\n#### Chapter II.\n\n#### The Science Of Deduction\n\nWe met next day as he had arranged, and inspected the rooms at No. 221b, Baker Street, of which he had spoken at our meeting. They consisted of a couple of comfortable bed-rooms and a single large airy sitting-room, cheerfully furnished, and illuminated by two broad windows. So desirable in every way were the apartments, and so moderate did the terms seem when divided between us, that the bargain was concluded upon the spot, and we at once entered into possession. That very evening I moved my things round from the hotel, and on the following morning Sherlock Holmes followed me with several boxes and portmanteaus. For a day or two we were busily employed in unpacking and laying out our property to the best advantage. That done, we gradually began to settle down and to accommodate ourselves to our new surroundings.\n\nHolmes was certainly not a difficult man to live with. He was quiet in his ways, and his habits were regular. It was rare for him to be up after ten at night, and he had invariably breakfasted and gone out before I rose in the morning. Sometimes he spent his day at the chemical laboratory, sometimes in the dissecting-rooms, and occasionally in long walks, which appeared to take him into the lowest portions of the City. Nothing could exceed his energy when the working fit was upon him; but now and again a reaction would seize him, and for days on end he would lie upon the sofa in the sitting-room, hardly uttering a word or moving a muscle from morning to night. On these occasions I have noticed such a dreamy, vacant expression in his eyes, that I might have suspected him of being addicted to the use of some narcotic, had not the temperance and cleanliness of his whole life forbidden such a notion.\n\nAs the weeks went by, my interest in him and my curiosity as to his aims in life, gradually deepened and increased. His very person and appearance were such as to strike the attention of the most casual observer. In height he was rather over six feet, and so excessively lean that he seemed to be considerably taller. His eyes were sharp and piercing, save during those intervals of torpor to which I have alluded; and his thin, hawk-like nose gave his whole expression an air of alertness and decision. His chin, too, had the prominence and squareness which mark the man of determination. His hands were invariably blotted with ink and stained with chemicals, yet he was possessed of extraordinary delicacy of touch, as I frequently had occasion to observe when I watched him manipulating his fragile philosophical instruments.\n\nThe reader may set me down as a hopeless busybody, when I confess how much this man stimulated my curiosity, and how often I endeavoured to break through the reticence which he showed on all that concerned himself. Before pronouncing judgment, however, be it remembered, how objectless was my life, and how little there was to engage my attention. My health forbade me from venturing out unless the weather was exceptionally genial, and I had no friends who would call upon me and break the monotony of my daily existence. Under these circumstances, I eagerly hailed the little mystery which hung around my companion, and spent much of my time in endeavouring to unravel it.\n\nHe was not studying medicine. He had himself, in reply to a question, confirmed Stamford's opinion upon that point. Neither did he appear to have pursued any course of reading which might fit him for a degree in science or any other recognized portal which would give him an entrance into the learned world. Yet his zeal for certain studies was remarkable, and within eccentric limits his knowledge was so extraordinarily ample and minute that his observations have fairly astounded me. Surely no man would work so hard or attain such precise information unless he had some definite end in view. Desultory readers are seldom remarkable for the exactness of their learning. No man burdens his mind with small matters unless he has some very good reason for doing so.\n\nHis ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge. Of contemporary literature, philosophy and politics he appeared to know next to nothing. Upon my quoting Thomas Carlyle, he inquired in the naivest way who he might be and what he had done. My surprise reached a climax, however, when I found incidentally that he was ignorant of the Copernican Theory and of the composition of the Solar System. That any civilized human being in this nineteenth century should not be aware that the earth travelled round the sun appeared to be to me such an extraordinary fact that I could hardly realize it.\n\n\034You appear to be astonished,\035 he said, smiling at my expression of surprise. \034Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it.\035\n\n\034To forget it!\035\n\n\034You see,\035 he explained, \034I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.\035\n\n\034But the Solar System!\035 I protested.\n\n\034What the deuce is it to me?\035 he interrupted impatiently; \034you say that we go round the sun. If we went round the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or to my work.\035\n\nI was on the point of asking him what that work might be, but something in his manner showed me that the question would be an unwelcome one. I pondered over our short conversation, however, and endeavoured to draw my deductions from it. He said that he would acquire no knowledge which did not bear upon his object. Therefore all the knowledge which he possessed was such as would be useful to him. I enumerated in my own mind all the various points upon which he had shown me that he was exceptionally well-informed. I even took a pencil and jotted them down. I could not help smiling at the document when I had completed it. It ran in this way\024\n\n&#x200B;\n\n1. Knowledge of Literature.\024Nil.\n2. Philosophy.\024Nil.\n3. Astronomy.\024Nil.\n4. Politics.\024Feeble.\n5. Botany.\024Variable. Well up in belladonna, opium, and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening.\n6. Geology.\024Practical, but limited. Tells at a glance different soils from each other. After walks has shown me splashes upon his trousers, and told me by their colour and consistence in what part of London he had received them.\n7. Chemistry.\024Profound.\n8. Anatomy.\024Accurate, but unsystematic.\n9. Sensational Literature.\024Immense. He appears to know every detail of every horror perpetrated in the century.\n10. Plays the violin well.\n11. Is an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman.\n12. Has a good practical knowledge of British law.\n\nWhen I had got so far in my list I threw it into the fire in despair. \034If I can only find what the fellow is driving at by reconciling all these accomplishments, and discovering a calling which needs them all,\035 I said to myself, \034I may as well give up the attempt at once.\035\n\nI see that I have alluded above to his powers upon the violin. These were very remarkable, but as eccentric as all his other accomplishments. That he could play pieces, and difficult pieces, I knew well, because at my request he has played me some of Mendelssohn's Lieder, and other favourites. When left to himself, however, he would seldom produce any music or attempt any recognized air. Leaning back in his arm-chair of an evening, he would close his eyes and scrape carelessly at the fiddle which was thrown across his knee. Sometimes the chords were sonorous and melancholy. Occasionally they were fantastic and cheerful. Clearly they reflected the thoughts which possessed him, but whether the music aided those thoughts, or whether the playing was simply the result of a whim or fancy was more than I could determine. I might have rebelled against these exasperating solos had it not been that he usually terminated them by playing in quick succession a whole series of my favourite airs as a slight compensation for the trial upon my patience.\n\nDuring the first week or so we had no callers, and I had begun to think that my companion was as friendless a man as I was myself. Presently, however, I found that he had many acquaintances, and those in the most different classes of society. There was one little sallow rat-faced, dark-eyed fellow who was introduced to me as Mr. Lestrade, and who came three or four times in a single week. One morning a young girl called, fashionably dressed, and stayed for half an hour or more. The same afternoon brought a grey-headed, seedy visitor, looking like a Jew pedlar, who appeared to me to be much excited, and who was closely followed by a slipshod elderly woman. On another occasion an old white-haired gentleman had an interview with my companion; and on another a railway porter in his velveteen uniform. When any of these nondescript individuals put in an appearance, Sherlock Holmes used to beg for the use of the sitting-room, and I would retire to my bed-room. He always apologized to me for putting me to this inconvenience. \034I have to use this room as a place of business,\035 he said, \034and these people are my clients.\035 Again I had an opportunity of asking him a point blank question, and again my delicacy prevented me from forcing another man to confide in me. I imagined at the time that he had some strong reason for not alluding to it, but he soon dispelled the idea by coming round to the subject of his own accord.\n\nIt was upon the 4th of March, as I have good reason to remember, that I rose somewhat earlier than usual, and found that Sherlock Holmes had not yet finished his breakfast. The landlady had become so accustomed to my late habits that my place had not been laid nor my coffee prepared. With the unreasonable petulance of mankind I rang the bell and gave a curt intimation that I was ready. Then I picked up a magazine from the table and attempted to while away the time with it, while my companion munched silently at his toast. One of the articles had a pencil mark at the heading, and I naturally began to run my eye through it.\n\nIts somewhat ambitious title was \034The Book of Life,\035 and it attempted to show how much an observant man might learn by an accurate and systematic examination of all that came in his way. It struck me as being a remarkable mixture of shrewdness and of absurdity. The reasoning was close and intense, but the deductions appeared to me to be far-fetched and exaggerated. The writer claimed by a momentary expression, a twitch of a muscle or a glance of an eye, to fathom a man's inmost thoughts. Deceit, according to him, was an impossibility in the case of one trained to observation and analysis. His conclusions were as infallible as so many propositions of Euclid. So startling would his results appear to the uninitiated that until they learned the processes by which he had arrived at them they might well consider him as a necromancer.\n\n\034From a drop of water,\035 said the writer, \034a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. So all life is a great chain, the nature of which is known whenever we are shown a single link of it. Like all other arts, the Science of Deduction and Analysis is one which can only be acquired by long and patient study nor is life long enough to allow any mortal to attain the highest possible perfection in it. Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the enquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems. Let him, on meeting a fellow-mortal, learn at a glance to distinguish the history of the man, and the trade or profession to which he belongs. Puerile as such an exercise may seem, it sharpens the faculties of observation, and teaches one where to look and what to look for. By a man's finger nails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boot, by his trouser knees, by the callosities of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt cuffs\024by each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent enquirer in any case is almost inconceivable.\035\n\n\034What ineffable twaddle!\035 I cried, slapping the magazine down on the table, \034I never read such rubbish in my life.\035\n\n\034What is it?\035 asked Sherlock Holmes.\n\n\034Why, this article,\035 I said, pointing at it with my egg spoon as I sat down to my breakfast. \034I see that you have read it since you have marked it. I don't deny that it is smartly written. It irritates me though. It is evidently the theory of some arm-chair lounger who evolves all these neat little paradoxes in the seclusion of his own study. It is not practical. I should like to see him clapped down in a third class carriage on the Underground, and asked to give the trades of all his fellow-travellers. I would lay a thousand to one against him.\035\n\n\034You would lose your money,\035 Sherlock Holmes remarked calmly. \034As for the article I wrote it myself.\035\n\n\034You!\035\n\n\034Yes, I have a turn both for observation and for deduction. The theories which I have expressed there, and which appear to you to be so chimerical are really extremely practical\024so practical that I depend upon them for my bread and cheese.\035\n\n\034And how?\035 I asked involuntarily.\n\n\034Well, I have a trade of my own. I suppose I am the only one in the world. I'm a consulting detective, if you can understand what that is. Here in London we have lots of Government detectives and lots of private ones. When these fellows are at fault they come to me, and I manage to put them on the right scent. They lay all the evidence before me, and I am generally able, by the help of my knowledge of the history of crime, to set them straight. There is a strong family resemblance about misdeeds, and if you have all the details of a thousand at your finger ends, it is odd if you can't unravel the thousand and first. Lestrade is a well-known detective. He got himself into a fog recently over a forgery case, and that was what brought him here.\035\n\n\034And these other people?\035\n\n\034They are mostly sent on by private inquiry agencies. They are all people who are in trouble about something, and want a little enlightening. I listen to their story, they listen to my comments, and then I pocket my fee.\035\n\n\034But do you mean to say,\035 I said, \034that without leaving your room you can unravel some knot which other men can make nothing of, although they have seen every detail for themselves?\035\n\n\034Quite so. I have a kind of intuition that way. Now and again a case turns up which is a little more complex. Then I have to bustle about and see things with my own eyes. You see I have a lot of special knowledge which I apply to the problem, and which facilitates matters wonderfully. Those rules of deduction laid down in that article which aroused your scorn, are invaluable to me in practical work. Observation with me is second nature. You appeared to be surprised when I told you, on our first meeting, that you had come from Afghanistan.\035\n\n\034You were told, no doubt.\035\n\n\034Nothing of the sort. I *knew* you came from Afghanistan. From long habit the train of thoughts ran so swiftly through my mind, that I arrived at the conclusion without being conscious of intermediate steps. There were such steps, however. The train of reasoning ran, \030Here is a gentleman of a medical type, but with the air of a military man. Clearly an army doctor, then. He has just come from the tropics, for his face is dark, and that is not the natural tint of his skin, for his wrists are fair. He has undergone hardship and sickness, as his haggard face says clearly. His left arm has been injured. He holds it in a stiff and unnatural manner. Where in the tropics could an English army doctor have seen much hardship and got his arm wounded? Clearly in Afghanistan.\031 The whole train of thought did not occupy a second. I then remarked that you came from Afghanistan, and you were astonished.\035\n\n\034It is simple enough as you explain it,\035 I said, smiling. \034You remind me of Edgar Allen Poe's Dupin. I had no idea that such individuals did exist outside of stories.\035\n\nSherlock Holmes rose and lit his pipe. \034No doubt you think that you are complimenting me in comparing me to Dupin,\035 he observed. \034Now, in my opinion, Dupin was a very inferior fellow. That trick of his of breaking in on his friends' thoughts with an apropos remark after a quarter of an hour's silence is really very showy and superficial. He had some analytical genius, no doubt; but he was by no means such a phenomenon as Poe appeared to imagine.\035\n\n\034Have you read Gaboriau's works?\035 I asked. \034Does Lecoq come up to your idea of a detective?\035\n\nSherlock Holmes sniffed sardonically. \034Lecoq was a miserable bungler,\035 he said, in an angry voice; \034he had only one thing to recommend him, and that was his energy. That book made me positively ill. The question was how to identify an unknown prisoner. I could have done it in twenty-four hours. Lecoq took six months or so. It might be made a text-book for detectives to teach them what to avoid.\035\n\nI felt rather indignant at having two characters whom I had admired treated in this cavalier style. I walked over to the window, and stood looking out into the busy street. \034This fellow may be very clever,\035 I said to myself, \034but he is certainly very conceited.\035\n\n\034There are no crimes and no criminals in these days,\035 he said, querulously. \034What is the use of having brains in our profession? I know well that I have it in me to make my name famous. No man lives or has ever lived who has brought the same amount of study and of natural talent to the detection of crime which I have done. And what is the result? There is no crime to detect, or, at most, some bungling villany with a motive so transparent that even a Scotland Yard official can see through it.\035\n\nI was still annoyed at his bumptious style of conversation. I thought it best to change the topic.\n\n\034I wonder what that fellow is looking for?\035 I asked, pointing to a stalwart, plainly-dressed individual who was walking slowly down the other side of the street, looking anxiously at the numbers. He had a large blue envelope in his hand, and was evidently the bearer of a message.\n\n\034You mean the retired sergeant of Marines,\035 said Sherlock Holmes.\n\n\034Brag and bounce!\035 thought I to myself. \034He knows that I cannot verify his guess.\035\n\nThe thought had hardly passed through my mind when the man whom we were watching caught sight of the number on our door, and ran rapidly across the roadway. We heard a loud knock, a deep voice below, and heavy steps ascending the stair.\n\n\034For Mr. Sherlock Holmes,\035 he said, stepping into the room and handing my friend the letter.\n\nHere was an opportunity of taking the conceit out of him. He little thought of this when he made that random shot. \034May I ask, my lad,\035 I said, in the blandest voice, \034what your trade may be?\035\n\n\034Commissionaire, sir,\035 he said, gruffly. \034Uniform away for repairs.\035\n\n\034And you were?\035 I asked, with a slightly malicious glance at my companion.\n\n\034A sergeant, sir, Royal Marine Light Infantry, sir. No answer? Right, sir.\035\n\nHe clicked his heels together, raised his hand in a salute, and was gone.
## 8 The year was 2012&\nI was 17 years old&\n\nWas walking around my school\031s yard& \nWhen I spotted this unique looking blonde girl& she was different from the others I\031d seen there so far& \n\nWe kept staring at each other for several minutes& \n\nA few days later I get a text on Windows Live Messenger from a female classmate saying \034Hey, a friend of mine wants to meet you. Do you want her number?\035 \n\nI said \034Yeah!\035 \n\nTo my surprise it was the blonde girl from school& we started texting lots and lots& I was needy, clingy as heck with her& time passed by& then one day, we were going home together from class when I asked THE QUESTION& \034Do you want to be my girlfriend?\035 \nHer reply was a shy and happy yes..\n\nThe next day would follow with our first kiss& I still remember how comfortably warm her lips were& \n\nFrom there on I would live the 3 happiest months of my entire life& \nWe dated every single weekend&\n\nI was needy, but she was too& and we would pester each other with texts all day&\nShe was the first and only woman I ever loved& \n\nI sometimes see her in the present days& oh boy do I miss her >y=-
## 9 Greetings, pilots!\n\nSpring is here, and we\031re dropping another meaty content update as promised. Along with a new fighter class, new ship modules, new story content, and new enemy ships, we\031ve also made major changes to the crafting system, mining, and resource management as well as how ship devices work. We also addressed progression issues and reprioritized difficulty settings and localization. Meaning, we\031re ahead of schedule! So let\031s get right into it with the [official release trailer](https://youtu.be/eOJz6GS6Gew). \n\n# Stinger\031s Debut\n\n*Stinger\031s Debut*, previously titled *Rogue\031s Debut* in the 2022 roadmap, adds the *Stinger*, EVERSPACE 2\031s third light fighter class. This new ship focuses on electronic warfare, making devices a critical component for pilots who favor agile, ability-focused spacecraft. When using ship devices, a third weapon hardpoint underneath the Stinger\031s hull is activated, dealing 50% more primary damage.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/nveps6bfq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=b603ac17e1444053146a1a6d0e0bc976aff41bf2\n\nThe *Stinger*\031s Void Swarm Ultimate instantly resets device cooldowns and releases a swarm of aggressive micro-bots that consume everything in their way, prioritizing the locked target. Upon return, these bots restore the player ship\031s hull and armor based on damage dealt. *Stinger* vessels can roll with random perks like 20% reduced cooldown for support or warfare devices, Void Swarm radius increased by 25%, or become cloaked for five seconds after its shield is depleted.\n\n# New Story Content\n\nAs we announced in our [2022 roadmap news](https://steamcommunity.com/app/1128920/eventcomments/3192486000824064324?snr=2_9_100003_&ctp=4) in December last year, the spring update will feature \034a bit more\035 story content among lots of other things. While there are \034only\035 one and half main missions left to conclude the Early Access portion of the story campaign, it finishes with a large-scale boss battle and major storyline beat before things continue into the grand finale at full release.\n\n[ ](https://preview.redd.it/anf6zt5hq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=d28b389eb3826f4227c5f2539f26022114f62c63)\n\nWe also added the 2nd part of the multi-stage side mission *Parasite*. As many of you might recall, *Adam* now has to prevent a computer virus from spreading all over the DMZ that he has accidentally unleashed, so he\031ll need help from his new, dubious hacker friend, *Fallon Pango*.\n\n# New Enemy Ships\n\nWith the continuation of the story, we also introduce new enemy ships, like the *Okkar Clerical Corvette* and the *Okkar Prime* units. With the introduction of these ships, time to share some lore with those not familiar with the *Okkar* that were introduced in the predecessor.\n\nThe *Okkar Fleet* manufactures its own ships, weaponry, and mining equipment without the aid of independent contractors. Private corporations do not exist in *Okkar* society, the concept of capitalism was unknown until the arrival of *Colonials* in the 30th Century. Nonetheless, this has not prevented *Okkar* technology from developing on par with human advancement, although distinctively different in design and function. Experts put the origins of *Okkar* space exploration and technological development at some one thousand solar years before humans.\n\n[The Okkar Clerical Corvette belongs to the cleric caste. Generally, ships like this are seen on diplomatic missions to ease tension between Humans and the Okkar after the war, but its advanced high-tech warfare capabilities are meant to leave no doubt about who would be in control if a situation should get out of hand or escalate into a serious military conflict. ](https://preview.redd.it/n4wh20viq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=5e4d9d8299b3dc255521335ca48c634e40d3eff8)\n\n[The Okkar Prime are a patriotic subfaction wanting to rid the Beltegrades of Colonials altogether and restore all Okkar territories lost in the war. They agitate within their society for war and intervene against the more peaceful ruling clerical caste. ](https://preview.redd.it/vri1aoyjq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=7f0fac57f3a888759aa6cf62d6175dca57d38a20)\n\n# Overhauled Crafting\n\nAs always, EVERSPACE 2 is all about that sweet, sweet loot. The crafting system is designed to complement the player\031s gear growth when loot drop RNG isn\031t working as desired. However, \034filling in the gaps\035 is neither the crafting system\031s main nor sole purpose. Our overhaul gives purpose to crafting from the beginning of a new save file to beyond the final mission; no RNG needed. This has been accomplished through the resource overhaul, granting access to new blueprints through a far more accessible system.\n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/sc5c1i4mq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9eefa638e622312490d80edfa6bdb928d2636a6\n\nItem blueprints are needed before crafting, and our veteran players know a blueprint can be earned by dismantling three of the same item at the same tier. To make progression just a little easier, we\031ve made blueprints infrequently drop from enemies as well. Instead of RNG working against the player, now it randomly helps instead. This small change gives players faster access to crafting possibilities. \n\n\nComponents (previously called tech resources) have also been added to the crafting list. Because of this, and because of the changes above, a lot of the RNG that hindered players before is quickly vanishing. We\031ve seen forum posts trying to find ways to spawn certain components over others (spoiler: they don\031t), so being able to craft with a handful of ingredients should be a powerfully welcome addition. \n\nhttps://preview.redd.it/u8r9czxnq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=2ac006c2330a07f666a55b2b53481e75ab18b647\n\nSpeaking of additions, catalysts are powerful new craftables that can directly specialize an item\031s prefix through modification, however, the blueprints themselves are harder to find. Instead of being dropped from random enemies, catalyst blueprints can only be found from high-risk location bosses. Also, this is just the first round of catalysts. More will appear in the future, opening up new customization routes by tampering with item modifiers themselves. \n\n\nWith all these overhauls, it is more than possible to track the location of desired resources, build a specific much-needed component, and upgrade a desired perk or craft a catalyst.\n\n# Reworked Ship Devices\n\nDevice progression has been fundamentally changed. Upon acquiring a device, players can now upgrade it up to four times, improving the duration or strength of the device\031s effects, increasing the number of charges, or lower cooldown timers. The previous three modes are now unlocked once you master a device by maxing out its level, and you can freely swap between all three modes so long as the device isn\031t on cooldown.\n\n[ ](https://preview.redd.it/rdzkatepq1r81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc7a7a2409e6da7ee1a956ddb7e3f7de2e781946)\n\nChoose device upgrades carefully, however. If you want to remove the upgrades you\031ve applied, you\031ll have to spend crafting ingredients to peel them off. Good thing the crafting inventory is now limitless!\n\n# Rebalanced XP plus WIP Difficulty Settings\n\nWith the EVERSPACE 2 *Stinger\031s Debut* update, we\031re also addressing balancing and progression issues, again. The XP curve has been flattened at the beginning, so when starting a new game, players should hit level 10 after playing through all main and side story content as well as completing all challenges in *Ceto*. Since complaints about the game being too hard or too easy have still been the biggest issue even after several rounds of rebalancing, we also introduced experimental difficulty levels: Very Easy / Easy / Normal / Hard / Very Hard, which can be changed anytime.\n\nThe system is still at an early stage and just the first step to providing more pilots with the level of challenge they are looking for. On *Very Hard*, our most skilled devs finally started seeing a proper challenge when playing EVERSPACE 2 for real. For a change, they occasionally die even when using every trick they have up their sleeves. On *Very Easy*, even less skilled pilots can enjoy the adventure through space without breaking too much of a sweat when learning combat and build mechanics of the game.\n\nRight now, the settings affect enemy damage output, enemy aim accuracy, and enemy health, but we also plan to add different enemy spawn rates, game economy, and gameplay rules aka handicaps much as we did in the predecessor. Of course, difficulty settings will also have an impact on loot and resources drop rate and quality in the launch version of the game.\n\n# WIP Localization\n\nAnother re-prioritized feature is the addition of WIP language support for German, French, Italian, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, Polish, Czech, Simplified and Traditional Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. Furthermore, we also plan to enable our community to add further languages through [Crowdin](https://support.crowdin.com/) which we will add in the future if there\031s enough demand.\n\nNow, even though the game\031s story content is not complete yet, we\031re already at a whopping 80,000+ word count and we\031re using a lot of genre-specific terms as well as puns that carry on for several missions. We\031ve been working with our professional localization friends from [Synthesis](https://www.synthesis-germany.com/) on the listed languages above. However, we can tell from double-checking the German version that a lot of things can be lost in translation. So, if anyone finds any awkward or incorrect translation, we would highly appreciate the community\031s support to iron out any kinks before the full release.\n\nLast but not least, shout out to Polish science-fiction author [StanisBaw Lem](https://www.facebook.com/stanislawlem) for letting *HIVE* borrow various quotes from the novel [*The Cyberiad*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cyberiad) in the Polish language version of EVERSPACE 2, free of charge. During the process of translating the game into Polish, our localization partners came up with this idea, and we just loved it, but no spoilers!\n\n# Demo Content\n\nWhile less important to all you Kickstarter Backer who already have Early Access, the content-gated EVERSPACE 2 demo on [Steam](https://store.steampowered.com/app/1128920/EVERSPACE_2/) has been updated with all relevant changes, including WIP localization. In the updated demo, players from all over the globe can explore the first sector of EVERSPACE 2\031s first star system and carry their save game over to Early Access. Got a friend on the fence about EVERSPACE 2? Point them at the demo to get hands-on before buying!\n\n# 0.8.25290 - Changelog\n\n**Features**\n\n* Added text localization for various languages (work in progress)\n* Added new main mission and new side missions\n* Added new player ship class: Stinger\n* Added new enemy faction: Okkar Prime\n* Added new voice recordings (no Text-To-Speech fallbacks in version 0.8)\n* Added new ship modules for heavy and light player ship classes\n* Added new companion perk for decreasing cruise mode charge duration\n* Added new weapons and modules\n* Added new "Sustained" weapon prefix that increases energy capacity\n* Added new item sets\n* Added option to show a horizon indicator in HUD\n* Added an option to en- or disable pausing of the game when window is unfocused (community suggestion)\n* Blueprints for crafting equipment can now be found or received by dismantling the respective item multiple times\n* Parts, mineable resources, components and catalysts are now stored in a separate crafting inventory, no longer occupying space of cargo or storage\n* Crafting of components (formerly tech resources) and catalysts now possible\n* Mining resources has the chance of spawning the same resource in a higher rarity\n* Mined resources are now displayed in the location info window once the Location Scanner perk level 2 has been unlocked\n* Devices can now be upgraded and mastered. Upgrading increases device attributes. Mastering unlocks all device modes\n* UI: Added dedicated crafting tab to ingame menu\n* UI: Added option (toggle) to show current item level on top of the item icon within inventories\n* UI: Added new sorting option "SortByLevel" for cargo inventories\n* UI: Added total selling value info when selling multiple items at once\n* UI: Added ingame dialog log to the pause menu to recap the most recent conversations\n\n**Tweaks**\n\n* Increased player level cap from 20 to 22\n* Revised ore and crystal resources and properly distributed them among regions of all systems\n* Removed random spawns in the last stage of mission "The Convert"\n* Dialogs get aborted when involved speakers are destroyed\n* Improved texture streaming\n* Improved video ram usage\n* Speedward shield will now also recharge during cruise drive\n* Reworked Outlaw Bomb Thrower: No more invincibility shield but a fast high-capacity shield\n* Reworked Outlaw Bomb Thrower barrel bombs: Less damage but disable shields for a few seconds\n* Slightly decreased Cruise Booster's cruise mode charge duration\n* Improved handling of player attacking the freighter during "Picking Up The Pieces"\n* When having to get rid of all interfering creatures during "X Marks The Spot", a vague search area waypoint is now displayed\n* Combined log books 2 & 3 in "X Marks The Spot" into one and removed one "locate signal" task\n* Invasions will not show a warning banner anymore and often spawn farther away so that invaders do not target the player immediately\n* Show in marker details when hovered from further away if a pickup is needed as an ingredient for a tracked perk\n* Renamed Mainframe Expansion to Mainframe Component\n* Renamed Augment to Mainframe Expansion\n* "3rd Person Camera Stiffness" setting now affects linear camera lag\n* Limited linear camera lag to prevent player ship from leaving the screen\n* Ship colors and decals don't get previewed on hover/select anymore. They now only change when "equip" is pressed\n* Improved performance in Charybdis Bowl\n* Tareen now flies a ship that looks like the one he used in original Everspace\n* Use a new icon for debris from which drones can be spawned when flying Vindicator\n* Changed "Adapt Item" to "Remove Level Restriction". This modification now also costs slightly more parts\n* Made ship handling a little more tangible through slight tweaks in banking/inertia behavior\n* Changed EMP Generator "Short Circuit" mode to apply normal energy damage instead of damaging the shield only\n* Updated Outlaw Drone Carrier link drone visual effect\n* Increased Redeemer Inquisitor hull and shield HP\n* Outlaw Vipers are now immune to corrosion\n* Prevent Disintegrator from accumulating excessive backwards acceleration\n* "Powerful" and "Marksman" affixes can now also appear / be applied to launcher weapons\n* Enemies, except for Anti-Missile Drones, can no longer shoot down player missiles\n* Balanced prefix chances for items\n* Balancing: Increased probability of Elite enemies with player level\n* Balancing: Slightly increased Outlaw Missile Turret damage\n* Balancing: Increased Synchro Pulse energy consumption and spread\n* Balancing: Adjusted shield and armor bonuses for all ships to match late-game hull hitpoint values\n* Balancing: Slower leveling, less xp from lower-level enemies, less aggressive downscaling of enemies to player level\n* Balancing: Decreased hull hitpoint bonus gained from Structure attribute\n* Balancing: Increased shield capacity scaling, use same scaling for armor with lowered base values\n* Balancing: Increased divergence of shield and armor bonus values between ship classes\n* Balancing: Added two additional underside turrets to Outlaw Drone Carrier\n* Balancing: Outlaw Drone Carriers now spawn combat drones\n* Balancing: Reduced "Crit Happens" perk range from 500m to 300m\n* Balancing: Reduced Striker expertise scaling\n* Balancing: Slightly reduced Precision scaling\n* Balancing: Adjusted Firepower scaling curve for greater damage bonus in early game and less in late game\n* Balancing: Signal Decoders will now only drop from outlaw stations, some rare containers, elites and capital ships\n* Balancing: Slightly reduced drop chance of colors\n* Balancing: Increased Outlaw Drone Carrier drone respawn delay\n* Balancing: Reduced Raid Booster effect\n* Balancing: Increased Flak range and damage, reduced energy consumption\n* Balancing: Increased Vindicator drone damage Expertise scaling\n* Balancing: Increased Vindicator "Phalanx" fire rate bonus\n* UI: Use dedicated HUD marker icons for Ancient Rune and Ancient Rune Socket\n* UI: Tweaked dialog box design\n* UI: Show "new" highlight on freshly unlocked and not yet viewed colors and decals in customization screen\n* UI: Enemies currently debuffed by player receive a special offscreen indicator in HUD\n* UI: Show obstructed interactable and structure HUD markers with dotted outline\n* UI: New icons for several items\n* UI: Show potential resource yields instead of amount of resources mined in the location info tooltip\n* UI: Changed XP bar color and only show XP numbers in menus\n* UI: Ship stats panel was slightly redesigned and optimized\n* UI: Various performance improvements for item rendering\n* UI: New stackable item price info showing dedicated "per Item"-price as well as total stack price\n* UI: Overhauled design of repair and restock buttons in hangar tab\n* UI: Added animated background for launch action button on stations\n* UI: Item selection - "Other ships"-navigation now using L2R2 navigation instead of R3 cycle behavior\n* UI: Changed multi-sell action label from "Sell" to "SellAll" to be more precise\n* UI: Cooldown slot animations are synchronized now\n* UI: Item info widget - optimized scrolling to exclude empty space at scrollbox bottom\n* UI: Reduced opacity for item stack amount when maxed (community suggestion)\n* UI: Overhauled crafting UI/UX to support new crafting-tab and -inventory\n* UI: Re-added expand/collapse cargo view button in ship inventory headline\n* UI: The number of Device Ugrade Points and Mainframe Expansions is now displayed in yellow color if greater than 0\n* UI: Optimized action button caption paddings for non-hold actions\n\n**Bugfixes**\n\n* Fixed bonus attributes changing their value after saving and reloading the gam\n* Fixed Gunship Arsenal perk: Double fire rate for async weapons, double damage for sync weapons\n* Fixed that Vindicator Drones were attacked by neutral Outlaw Group during "The Good, The Bad & The Decent"\n* Fixed being able to destroy Maddocks' ship inside the storage hangar during "The Magic Of Umami"\n* Fixed a potential mission blocker when killing Maddocks right before reaching the end of the chase in Sato during "The Magic Of Umami"\n* Fixed that "Downtime Warrior" perk was not affecting secondary weapon energy on Bomber\n* Fixed freighter in front of Smuggler Base during "The Vortex" not having any collision\n* Fixed being able to use the Flying Dutchess' Beacon near Khala's Vessel during "Picking Up The Pieces" although she was already present\n* Fixed winding up outside of cave during "The Emissary" if loading initial auto-save and immediately creating manual save and then loading that save\n* Fixed NPC HUD marker being transparent after game was paused during jump-in\n* Fixed HUD marker "spotted" animation being stuck when game was paused during animation\n* Fixed wrong waypoint image and wrong player position in system view\n* Fixed shield and armor break effect appearing when collecting energy orbs while no armor or shield is equipped\n* Fixed that destroying the plating given by Dax would stop the mission from progressing\n* Fixed that arriving within interaction range of Spatial Bypasses always lead to the "Can't interact during conversation" message being shown\n* Fixed several slide doors accidentally being open\n* Fixed Outlaw Demolisher shooting mines from very far away\n* Fixed being able to fast-travel to the same location you are currently at\n* Fixed that the prototype and starforged prefixes lost their effect after increasing an item's rarity\n* Fixed that the mission log for "Gathering Dust" side mission was missing\n* Fixed "Repairs 3" perk not working as intended (was supposed to only repair the ship's hull up to 30% if lower when docked)\n* Fixed gravitational behavior of Shadow Creatures on planets when they're detached\n* Fixed that "Gathering Dust" side mission was available at the start of "Old Friends," not after\n* Fixed mouse axis inversions not working when using centered crosshair and operating system mouse position\n* Fixed inverted mouse controls not working when having relative mouse controls enabled\n* Fixed Vindicator drones sometimes not disappearing while docked\n* Fixed being able to track an already completed mission when double-clicking on a mission button\n* Fixed a problem in which it was possible that the "Spares & Scrap" mission did not start\n* Fixed ARC9000 explosion not damaging larger ships at certain impact angles\n* Fixed that mines being displayed because of a sensor bonus attribute were staying in sensor memory and were still shown at a large distance\n* Fixed "Downtime Warrior" perk not stacking correctly\n* Fixed critical hit damage using a wrong value\n* Fixed that item rewards for jobs couldn't be claimed\n* Fixed error in Temporal Nano Recompensator "Resurgence" mode description showing wrong repair increase percentage\n* Fixed Drone Carrier link drones not repairing carrier armor correctly\n* Fixed bug in repair costs calculation\n* Fixed implicit downsizing of (cargo) inventories in some cases. (e.g. storage)\n* Fixed some save and restore problems with certain objects like freight containers\n* Fixed a few issues with Loot screen that gets shown when not all items could be picked up\n* Fixed that "pull all" on pickups was sometimes not possible\n* Fixed that "Redeemers" name was missing in the "kills" stats\n* Fixed player projectiles colliding with player missiles\n* Fixed player Flak projectiles being triggered by player missiles/mines\n* Fixed NPC missiles spawning with a too large offset\n* UI: Fixed loss of focus after clicking quick repair and quick restock buttons\n* UI: Multiple improvements and fixes for screens with non-16:9 aspect ratio\n* UI: Fixed potential bug that repair action was available in item selection even though it isn't available on the station\n* UI: Fixed that shop inventory might not be sorted correctly after mission items were added to an already visited shop inventory\n* UI: Fixed various smaller color & alignment issues in ingame menu\n* UI: Fixed rebuy indicator disappearing after selling items to shop\n* UI: Fixed multiple bugs regarding devices in shop inventory\n* UI: Fixed that side-by-side info would not scroll on gamepad in case current item wasn't scrollable as well\n* UI: Fixed that the damaged equipment indicator wasn't refreshed after repairing\n* UI: Fixed mainframe expansion points animation problems\n* UI: Fixed homebase storage space counter not always being correct\n\nThe following changes are only relevant if you have been playing a preview of this update on the experimental branch:\n\n**Features (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Added one additional light fighter body module\n\n**Tweaks (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Balancing: Slightly reduced drop chance of blueprints\n* (Exp) Replaced superior kinetic damage Catalyst with rare energy damage Catalyst\n* (Exp) Balancing: Reduced Void Swarm repair amount\n* (Exp) Balancing: Tweaked some Catalyst effect values and rarities\n* (Exp) Worked in localization feedback from the community at crowdin.com\n* (Exp) UI: Catalyst slots and action buttons in catalyst selection are now clickable\n* (Exp) UI: Disabled catalyst selection and show info banner in case there are no compatible catalysts available\n* (Exp) UI: Refined catalyst modification description\n* (Exp) UI: Added dedicated item category icon for catalysts\n* (Exp) UI: Items cannot be modified anymore while they are damaged\n* (Exp) UI: Fully implemented reworked device appearance including upgrade animations\n\n**Bugixes (Experimental relevant only)**\n\n* (Exp) Fixed that "Okkar Prime" name was missing in the "kills" stats\n* (Exp) Fixed that obsolete items were gone instead of replaced when loading an older savegame\n* (Exp) Fixed Freelancer Cargo Carrier not exploding correctly\n* (Exp) Common Catalysts are now always unlocked\n* (Exp) Swift Catalyst can now also be applied to Disintegrator\n* (Exp) Fixed one Stinger passive being wrongly assigned to the Scout\n* (Exp) Fixed Optimized and Prototype Catalysts not working on modules\n* (Exp) Fixed Void Swarm not resetting device cooldowns\n* (Exp) Fixed that obsolete Catalysts and Affixes were not removed when loading a game\n* (Exp) Fixed that Cruise Drive Duration perk did not unlock under certain conditions\n* (Exp) Fixed bug where Cruise Booster's cruise drive activation time would be overwritten by upgrading the perk\n* (Exp) Fixed Okkar Corvette shooting through its own geometry\n* (Exp) Fixed mining Catalyst bonus attributes not being removed when applying a new Catalyst\n* (Exp) Fixed some dialogue lines repeating during mission "The Emissary"\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the item info in the "Modify" screen could not be scrolled using a controller\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the device description text wasn't clipped properly after scrolling\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed overlapping descriptions in catalyst selection screen\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug that occurred after a companion was unlocked but no perks were shown\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the repair banner of an item tooltip could have elements from the device upgrade banner\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug in which the amount of an item for sale would get bigger after buying\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed a bug in which the item rarity wasn't instantly updated after a modification\n* (Exp) UI: Fixed that the dialog board entries always showed "text-to-speech placeholder"\n\nWell, this concludes our first major content update of 2022 with two more to come, one in summer, one in fall, before we wrap up production and will only be working on the final polish for the full release, currently scheduled for early 2023. Check out our [2022 roadmap](https://store.steampowered.com/news/app/1128920/view/3123806106494900961) for more details.\n\nSo there\031s still plenty of work ahead of us, but we\031ll keep you in the loop with our weekly gamedev & community streams so that everyone can see for themselves where production is at, on[ Twitch](http://bit.ly/twitchRFG) and[ YouTube](http://bit.ly/RFGYT), every Friday from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm CET / 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm ET / 11:00 am to 1:00 pm PT. =<U+0080>=¥=L\n\nDon\031t stop being awesome, and see you in space!\n\nMichael and your dedicated ROCKFISH Games Team
## 10 Hello Reddit Lurkers,\n\nI wanna share my long journey to achieve my 2nd gold cap during my 13 years playing WoW. My 1st gold cap was achieved during end of WOD, i missed the gold rush in Legion era and only collected almost half due to laziness :(\n\nThis time, I dinged within only 3rd week of 9.2 patch, this came very too early as my goal of gold cap was set by end of the SL expac.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[https://imgur.com/JeqfdVD](https://imgur.com/JeqfdVD)\n\n[https://imgur.com/ESzrKhd](https://imgur.com/ESzrKhd)\n\n[https://imgur.com/iF7F5B9](https://imgur.com/iF7F5B9)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Intro**\n\nI'm 54t4nic/Simalakama, playing on a full pop realm in EU, very casual and small goblin.\n\nThere is always stereotype "you have to camp AH and/or farm 24/7 to become a gold cap". Well look at me, i achieved all of this with only weekly playing time around 15-20 hours and i didn't log in daily.\n\nBeside worked for gold cap, i still did pve on my druid with m+ rating 2,2+ (S2) and obtained every SL AOTCs (working on Sepulcher yet).\n\nYou just need to know how to work/earn gold effectively. Thus, i'll share my noobish knowledge to all of you reddit's goblins. And please with all due respects, correct me if i'm wrong.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Set up**\n\nI dont farm for mats, i'm too lazy + hate to do that. I just farm all my mats from AH. This will surely cut your margins pretty much, but i can get more sales volumes and gold exponentially and also save enormous times (cmiiw). My set ups as follows:\n\n*Capital:* Capital is king if you're playing/farming mats from AH. With more capital you own, more diversification mats you can buy. If you're lack of capital, just do gathering mats & selling it at AH. Therefore , you can have enough budget to buy mats from AH and slowly expand your selling inventories from professions.\n\nI started SL with only less than 500k because of long boi purchase :(\n\nInvested these capitals for leveling professions and bought mats from AH.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Chars:* There is an idiom/jargon in Bahasa Indonesia "more kids, more wealthy" (i'm from Indonesia btw). It applies literally in WoW, more characters you playing, more benefits you can get.\n\nFor example: benefit from mission table rewards more mats/golds/gears(for DE) or benefit from weekly rewards (eg. korthite crystals).\n\nI just have 4x 60 chars, cba leveling another since i do have only limited playing times. And 2x lowbies for AH chars so i have more free bag slots for crafting, shuffling, AH drafting etc etc.....\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*2nd account:* It's not mandatory but makes your life easier, moreover you can baby sit AH during raids downtime or m+ queue. Beside improve our quality of life, 2nd account can also boost production time. Imagine milling, shuffling and prospecting thousands of mats with only 1 account.\n\nIn my case, I cannot log in daily, thats why i wanna do raids, m+ or something else during my login and not only busy goblining stuffs. I created 2nd account since end of of 9.0.5 and focus only for AH matters.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Synergy of proffessions:* Here are my prof set ups. ( disclaimer: its not optimal, i know. But cba to drop and relevel again).\n\nDruid: LW + JC with cooking max\n\nHunter: Enchanting & Inscription\n\nWarlock: Tailoring & BS\n\nPaladin(2nd acc): LW & Inscription. This char is my production char. Can milling, shuffling etc while i'm doing pve on main account. If you only have 1 char, i suggest LW+Tailoring. Why? We have more value commodities eg. crafting items, bags, armor kits, mount equpment etc.\n\nWith 2 chars you can add BS (for extra crafting weapons ilvl 87/100) and Enchanting (DE stuffs + shuffling for enchanted heavy callous hide, enchanted elethium bar and so on).\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Mission tables:* I have pretty decent set up for table. With 3 NFs + 1 kyr, many followers already at 60s. Select rewards only for mats, gold, runes, if still extra followers opt for anima powers.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Long boi:* It's another previlege perk that i feel huge advantage as an owner portable AH. I can pop up whenever i want, buying stuffs, restocking, checking prices etc etc.\n\nIf you don't own a long boi, park your AH chars at booty bay. Shrine can do the magic as well.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*External tools:*\n\nTSM\n\nI'm pretty decent on TSM, just copied the operations from someone on internet. Cancel scan is pretty handy if you want use this feature frequently. Can help track prices if you're new in the market. Bottom line, i do just basic with TSM and it already helps me a LOT.\n\n[rogue-auctions.com](http://rogue-auctions.com/)\n\nThis website more less like The Undermine Journal. The attractive part is, it shows you an item's margin pretty actual. So we know what consumables are in profit at the moment. Thus, i know which items can be pushed for sales volumes.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Selling Commodities**\n\nI'll give some insights, which items are popular within AH. Disclaimer: this varies from your AH realms, but still can be as pointer/sample for testing your AH. There are many items like pets, mounts, old enchants that sellable but i focus only from consumables and crafting gears.\n\nMargin consumables is pretty thin, therefore you need volumes after volumes to profit. Try to hunt mats in low prices to wide your margins.\n\n*Main Courses*\n\n* Crafting gear ilvl 87,100\n\nThis is my main gold stream, started to focus selling since end of 9.0.5. The green items ilvl 87 & 100 are very underrated and hidden treasure.\n\nWhy this green ilvl 87/100? for alts with lvl 50 need to buy these items for pumping the ilvl requirement queue dungeons. People tend to buy as many as possible to fill the slots. By end of patch or xpac still strong due to leveling alts.\n\n* Crafting gear 200 & 230 (pre 9.2), 233 & 262 (9.2)\n\nAnother gold stream along with ilvl 87/100. Catch up gears for people who needs to replace low ilvl, so can pump ilvl as high as possible. These items will decline by end of patch/xpac. So... try to push your sales as many as possible as long as patch still hot.\n\nThe trick to maximize income, try selling all armors: cloth, leather, mail n plate. Sell huge volumes !!! my inventories around 1200-1500 items (mix with ilvl 87&100). If we get at least 10% sales: let's say 120-150 items with avg 500g per piece, this will result 60-75k. The prices of ilvl 233 & 262 are thousands gold at the moment, this will catapult your income highly.\n\nFyi, margins are pretty high. On bad day and also prices are tanked, 50% profit is minimum. Mostly with 100-300%(or more) if prices are hot and this stuffs are selling like a peanuts.\n\n* Crafting legos\n\nThis is my big pusher to reach gold cap. Have only 3 slots: cloak, ring and neck. I capitalized 262 JC sales (mostly rings) during 6 weeks launch 9.2 (4 weeks before, 2 weeks after). JC ring still hot at the moment and my main source for pushing into 20m goal.\n\nI canceled scan moderately, did couple times during my afk from raids/m+.\n\nIf people still want to invest and fight for lego market, it's still profitable for 235, 262 & 291. But it depends what slots and what realms. I do strongly suggest JC ring while price and demand are still high.\n\n* Feast Hedonism\n\nThe king of consumables. Profit pretty strong, sale volumes high as well. Unfortunately, now in 9.2 mats prices are soaring (fishes). So, just check mats prices frequently for buying while cheap to gain big profits.\n\n* Drums\n\nDrums are pretty fast turn over, you'll get more sales but the margins are thin and price fluctuates very often. So very carefull, just sell on profit and buy mats on lower price.\n\n* Heavy desolate armor kit\n\nSame story with drums. High turn over and thin margin (around 50-100g on my realm), therefore just push for volumes as many as possible and watch the price dont sell at loss.\n\n* 30 & 32 Bags\n\nPeople always needs bags, period.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n*Side dishes*\n\n* Missives\n\nAs long as people craft and buy legos, missives are strong. The only problem is with tanked prices and thin margins. I sell only with price on profit and hold while loss.\n\n* Desolate armor kit\n\nThin margin and slow moving on sales. Just consider this as your side hustle.\n\n* Feast palatable\n\nVery seldom sales compare to feast hedonism, price fluctuates rapidly. It could be good margin depends of someone resets the market. Don't rely too much, stock moderately and unload if AH price is good.\n\n* Flasks / Pots\n\nFluctuates very often due to undercuts from competitors. Monitor the price closely, just dont sale at loss.\n\n* Augment Runes\n\nKing of sleeper on consumables. Prices declining due to flooding of items + permanent augment rune from vendor. But at least it sells quick and we get free from table. I get daily around 50-100 runes from 4 chars. Price is around 150-200g/rune, so i get minimum 7500g/day only from this freebies. Not bad huh..??\n\n* Comfortable barding (mount equipment)\n\nStill sells quite OK, however very slow moving. Consider this as snack for your meal.\n\n* Vantus Runes\n\nPrice is quite OK at the moment SFO, not that high compare to CN or SoD. Competitors are quite strong due to many people can access SFO. It's moving slow currently, maybe due to less people raiding Sepulcherright now, cmiiw.\n\n* Codex/Tome of Still Mind\n\nI just unload at AH around 200 pcs for tome and 50 pcs for codex per batch. Not bad for snacks at this time.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Prediction**\n\nAs long as sepulcher still hots, raid consumables eg vantus, feasts, runes still sell pretty OK. KSM hunters are still on going as well. Try ride the wave as much as possible while strong.\n\n9.2.5 will give a bump a bit because horde & alliance raiding and doing m+ together. Prices will quite declining but demands still quite high at least. Quite slow earning if looking a quick gold cap, but doable for long run until new expac is released.\n\nI believe if you still looking for gold cap or targeting millions, 6-8 months ahead will be still bright eventough not as much as early 9.2 hype. Follow this 8 months with what i did, you'll get gold cap sooner or later (disclaimer: not 100% guarantee, but viable & doable)\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**My Next Step**\n\nFrom here on i definitely reinvest for mats, trying to chase a 20m milestone in SL and set another goals in future expacs.\n\nSome of gold will be spent for mounts, lets see what BMAH offers. Maybe i'll go ALL IN for exotic mounts (swift zulian tiger, i summon you =)))\n\nWoW tokens and Blizzard balance for sure, i just did convert some golds for buying bundling kitty mounts and pets from shop.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**Problem**\n\nSome of you guys might face problems to break the barrier and climb your gold earning.\n\nI faced this problem for months, cannot break over 2m. If you see the graphic above it lasted almost 1 year. I asked couple guys from this /woweconomy and read the posts how to solve my problem. Until i found the remedy which i needed to focus on sales crafting items especially greens ilvl 87/100 and ilvl 200/230 (pre 9.2). Slowly expand my inventories with more variations of items. Voila....it worked and boosted my earnings towards gold cap \\^\\^Y.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n**TLDR**\n\nSorry if you just read wall of text.\n\nJust find the best way what fits to your gold cap style. My approach here is with playing AH due to limited playing time and lazyness of gathering. 2 weeks after my gold cap, now i have liquid gold around 13m. So 7m remaining for my 20m GOAL XD\n\nLego market is very prospective, but also very competitive. People still buy legos, just find your niche (JC ring is mine). It's still doable and profitable with moderate/less cancel scan like i do.\n\nLast, consumables can do the magic if you sell in big volumes due to thin margin. So... Just push as many sells as possible with diversity commodities.\n\nJust test/explore your AH to get a feel what kind of items are profitable. Ride the momentum and be consistent. Good luck my fellow goblins!!\n\n&#x200B;\n\nRegards\n\nSimalakama
## 11 This guy has been on mine and my husband's tail since we moved into our little utah town about 10 months ago. He showed up to our door today and asked for the millionth time if we would let him and his other friends come over. I know he holds some position in his ward but not sure which one. He keeps saying "we won't preach at you". My husband finally caved and agreed for the visit. I'm really irritated at this guy. We let him know the first time we met that we are not interested in religion and lead a more personal "spiritual" life after being born and raised in a mormon spin off cult. I'm mostly whining at this point. Also trying to decide how I'm going to handle our interaction tomorrow. We have received 5 freaking invitations this week between missionaries and mormon neighbors to watch the upcoming general conference. Gahhh!!! I don't wanna be an ass because this guy and his family have been really nice. They've plowed our driveway multiple times during the winter while we were sick with covid. I just don't get how he hasn't taken a hint.\n\n\nEdit: he just came over to cancel and reschedule because conference is tomorrow. Hubby got his number. I think I'm going to call him and decline.\n\nEdit 2: I got his number and sent him a lengthy text. Told him I want to cancel any made plans and decline any further invitation/discussion that involves LDS gospel and activities and that I am not comfortable with him inviting himself and a group of strangers to my home. And that we have plenty of family who are in the church should we wish to inquire about anything in it. Said thanks for the acts of service this last year and hope to remain friendly neighbors from here on out. He text back saying "that's fine". I don't think he will be bothering us anymore.
## 12 Why I Hate My Mom \n\nShe\031s a control freak - she wants to control everyone \n\nIf you don\031t agree with her, she will relentlessly argue with you until you agree \n\nShe bullied everyone in our family - my dad, my brother and me \n\nMy brother developed an inferiority complex about his dark skin and even if he was Chinese because my mom made a joke that my father found him in the garbage and adopted him. \n\nShe called him a Mexican \n\nThat\031s where I learned to make fun of him as a Mexican - from HER \n\nSHE\031S THE REASON WHY OUR FAMILY IS FUCKED UP \n\nWhenever she\031s not around, the household is very calm \n\nAs soon as she enters the picture, it was like walking on eggshells. \n\nAT ANY MOMENT, she could blow off at the slightest thing and start an entire argument for the entire night \n\nShe thinks she has \034good intentions\035 but in fact it\031s just HER intentions \n\nShe wants to be praised for being a selfless parent but in fact she is just a very narcissistic person who thinks very highly of herself \n\nHer own relationship with her mother was troubled - her mother was never around and always gambling and her father was an alcohol and gambler as well. \n\nHer oldest sister was essentially the mother of the family \n\nWhen her mother died, she wasn\031t there. I think I will do the same. \n\nWhen my dad dies, I\031ll be there for him. He never said one mean thing or hit me. NEVER. He was always happy and calm. Only she fucked it up. \n\nShe got my dad arrested once - now that I think about it, she should have been the one arrested \n\nHer emotional abuse was off the charts. She belittled me so much and said things like \n\n\034A dog is better than you\035 \n\n\034If you don\031t die, you\031re worthless\035 \n\n\034I regret giving birth to you\035 \n\n\034You\031re an idiot. Why are you so dumb?\035 \n\nAmong countless other insults \n\nOnly now I realize how that has damaged my self esteem and confidence up until adulthood. \n\nShe thinks she can control me. \n\nWhen I first grew out my hair and came back to NYC to see my family, she literally screamed at me and called me a homeless bum. \n\nShe guilted me into getting a haircut just so she would stop yelling at me \n\nWhen I grew my hair out again, she said \034it\031s not that I WON\031T LET YOU GROW your hair out\035 as if she controlled my hair and my body \n\nShe would always make comments about how fat I was or say that my dad was better looking than me. \n\nShe would always tell me that I needed to change - that I wasn\031t good enough. \n\nShe always said don\031t be like your dad - he\031s an idiot. Change change change \n\nI asked a professor in human development once about that and she said that was an awful thing to say to a child \n\nIn high school psychology class, my teacher was talking about how physical abuse was wrong and I retorted \034what do you mean? It\031s totally necessary.\035 \n\nI had normalized physical and emotional abuse from an early age \n\nThat\031s why I never had any relationships with girls and why I had so much insecurities. \n\nI never had a girlfriend in middle school or high school because my mom wouldn\031t allow it. She claimed I would slack off on school. \n\nAs a result, I had NO confidence with girls. I never had a girlfriend in middle school, high school or college. \n\nI went to prom alone. \n\nThe irony was that I had a lot of girls interested in me - I even had many guys in high school jealous of me. \n\nI remember I asked one guy in gym class why he was working out so hard and he replied \034well not all of us can look like YOU\035 and I didn\031t understand what he meant at the time or why he would ever want to look like me. \n\nI remember another guy who was clearly jealous that I was talking to another girl named Tracy. I remember being in the high school staircase with her ALONE and I didn\031t realize she was interested in me. \n\nI was just too scared to do anything about it. \n\nTo this day, \n\n1. I still haven\031t had a girl give me a present for my birthday or celebrate a birthday with me. \n2. I never received a Valentine\031s Day gift or celebrated with a girl \n3. I never celebrated Christmas with a girl. \n4. I\031ve never gone on a road trip with a girl \n5. I\031ve never met a girl\031s family before \n6. I\031ve never had a relationship for more than 3 months \n7. Anytime I\031ve tried to start a relationship with a girl, I would be ghosted because I was so desperate for love that they could sense my neediness \n8. I haven\031t had a relationship in 8 years. The only thing I could get was one night stands, which was NOT what I wanted. I thought if a girl slept with me, that would mean I could finally win her love. \n9. I let so many women abuse and use me. I once met a literal super model from Ukraine at a bar and actually went on a date with her. We actually had a very good time. However I realized she was going through a divorce and was exactly like my mom - extremely controlling and abusive as well as an alcoholic. I spent THREE DAYS in a row at her place without going home just helping her - cleaning her apartment, buying groceries, cooking for her, spending time with her, helping her get her car. I even drove with her to IKEA and helped her buy a mattress because her ex husband took her bed. I helped her bring it back and install it and everything. \n10. She treated me like shit and I left the first time she mistreated me. Then the next day I apologized to HER and brought her a six pack of beer. Then the final night, after EVERYTHING I did for her and right after I helped her get her mattress from IKEA, she wouldn\031t even let me park my car in her EMPTY parking spot. I just wanted to avoid getting a parking ticket. \n11. I finally left after that. \n12. Even after that I tried to get back in touch with her. I texted her all these things that I thought she would benefit from. \n13. I recently offered to let her stay at my place so that she wouldn\031t have to have a long commute from LA to San Diego for a job. I especially felt bad for her because of the war in Ukraine. She still wasted my time and rejected me after everything I tried to do for her.\n\nMy mentor told me, through Chinese astrology, that the only thing I ever wanted in life was LOVE because I never had it in my life. \n\nHe told me I basically had Stockholm\031s syndrome and empathized with my captor. It all makes sense now \n\nHe said I had no self respect for myself, hence why I had no respect for him. I now realized I\031ve hated myself for my whole life because my mom made me hate myself from day 1. \n\nI looked for love in all the wrong places - in bars and clubs. \n\nI kept going out every weekend hoping that I could find the love of my life so that I could finally stop going to bars \n\nI don\031t even like drinking. I remember recently I talked to a girl at a bar and she said she was interested in me and wanted to play pool with me. \n\nI was in the middle of a game and thought she would be there for the next game. I looked everywhere for her - I realize I was like a lost puppy \n\nI finally saw her outside with another guy and I was crushed. \n\nI just wanted to find someone who was willing to spend time with me. \n\nTo go with me on a date to try out a restaurant \n\nTo go to the beach together \n\nTo watch a TV show or movie together and fall asleep on the couch \n\nIt makes sense now why I loved romance comedies and love songs so much - it was my FANTASY to be loved. \n\nI realized i was so unhappy these last 8 years because I thought I had the AUDACITY to believe that someone could love me. I thought true love was a fantasy that my younger naive self foolishly believed in. \n\nI\031m pretty smart and talented - I\031m not trying to brag but I consider myself a Renaissance man. \n\nI taught myself just about everything from an early age. My parents are immigrants and can barely speak English. \n\nI looked up an old recommendation letter that a professor in my freshman year wrote that helped me get into an Ivy League school. \n\nHe said I was already at a PhD level in history and humanities as a FRESHMAN in college. He wrote that I could already compete with his graduate students. That\031s how smart I am. \n\nNot only that but I can do many things - draw, photography, sing, play guitar, finance, sales, marketing, real estate, technology, learn foreign languages, etc etc \n\nAnd yet my mom always said I was a moron. \n\nMy mom is just a psycho path and I realized I\031ve been gaslighted my entire life to her viewpoint and her narrative \n\nIronically she always claimed to be the victim in every story.\n\nShe would blame everyone else - my dad, his family, co-workers etc\n\nShe always tried to convince me to change my dad - \034tell him to Change, tell him to change\035 \n\nI always told her\n\n1. \034everyone has something intrinsic to their nature that can\031t be changed. You have to accept that.\035 \n2. \034If you think it\031s so easy to change, why not change yourself first? If you want others to change, how about you change first and show how it\031s done?\035 \n\nAnd she would always push back and claim she has changed by basically venting internally instead of in person \n\nI\031ve been on a spiritual journey in the past 2 years and I\031ve bought many stones. I was never into this stuff and thought it was bullshit.\n\nThe first stone I ever bought was Kyanite, which helps with healing past trauma and getting over a victim mentality as well opening up the throat chakra to speak your truth.\n\nThe thing is I had NO IDEA it had this meaning - i just bought it because I thought it was pretty. After I looked up the meaning I was blown away. I\031ve just started to remember all these traumatic childhood memories I repressed for so long. Now I understand why I was on such a self destructive behavior. \n\nHere\031s a copy and paste \n\n\034For those who have lost their way in life, or are trying to break a cycle of self-destructive behavior, use Kyanite in an empowerment grid to get back on track. Lay out rows of small Kyanite blades radiating from a central Kyanite in six different directions. Use each night to walk a different path in the mind, letting images and ideas take form spontaneously. Continue until you no longer need the grid. [Eason, 225]\nTo access forgotten childhood memories or to recall a word or name that eludes you, touch the center of your brow with Kyanite.\035\n\n\034Kyanite\031s frequency encourages the examination of all aspects of oneself, the various interests, skills and knowledge that creates the uniqueness of one\031s identity, and how it can be used for one\031s Soul path on Earth and in finding a life-fulfilling vocation. It encourages listening to intuitive guidance and living with integrity of purpose. [Ahsian, 224][Gienger, 34][Hall II, 171]\nKyanite helps overcome a victim or fatalistic mentality, and the resignation of oneself to the recurring emotional patterns that create blockages in the energetic field. Kyanite can bridge the connection to those patterns and quickly create new energy flow and a shift in one\031s perception to the world. It assists one in remaining functional in extreme situations, promotes a more logical way of thinking, and encourages resolute action. [Ahsian, 225][Gienger, 34]\035\n\nLast year my dad visited me for the first time ever (we also haven\031t spoken in many years but it\031s due to his nature, not because he didn\031t care) \n\nAfter spending 3 months with him, it was such a calming and relaxing time. It was so easy to live with him. I realized my mom was DEFINITELY the problem. \n\nI honestly don\031t know if I can ever forgive her. \n\nI just told myself in my head, \034when my dad dies or is dying, I\031ll be by his deathbed\035 \n\n\034When my mom is dying, I won\031t be there for her.\035 \n\nBecause that\031s exactly what she did to my maternal grandmother. \n\nMy cousin told me that my maternal grandmother\031s last words were that she regretted gambling so much and ignored her family. \n\nI recently wrote a girl an 8 page love letter because we actually hit off very well and I could tell she was interested in me. But as soon as I didn\031t hear from her in a few days, I grew anxious, even though I just sent her a nice present for her birthday. \n\nMy mind started racing, thinking I wasn\031t good enough or that I needed to do more to win her love. \n\nObviously I ended up freaking her out and she has stopped talking to me as a result. This is what I\031ve been used to my entire love life, or what little of it can be called that. \n\nI\031m in the process of healing now and I realized I have to love myself first. \n\nI could do so much and learn almost anything but I could never imagine that someone could ever love me, that I could ever love myself and that anyone could ever care about me. \n\nI have thought to myself many times, \034if I were to die, would anyone really even mourn my passing? Or would they just move on the next day as if nothing had happened.\035 \n\nEmotional abuse and physical from women does happen and it\031s not talked about enough. No one holds these women accountable for their crimes. \n\nAs a result I\031ve been emotionally stunted and de-masculinized for my whole life. It\031s only recently I\031ve found my voice and discovered who I TRULY AM. \n\nFor ex red pill, I need to write this in particular \n\nI never had a male role model in my life - my dad didn\031t know anything about women either. He didn\031t have a normal childhood - he escaped from Communist China by swimming 6-8 hours in the ocean to Hong Kong when he was 16 or 17. There was no way he could teach me anything about living a normal high school life in America \n\n\nGoing back to the self taught thing, because I didn\031t have a male role model or ANYONE to talk or ask about relationships (since it obviously wasn\031t covered in school), I always wanted to look for a \034manual on love.\035 \n\n\034If I could just have a book, I could study the shit out of it and teach myself how to get a girl to love me.\035 \n\nThat\031s when I started reading \034the game\035 and learning about Mystery and PUA etc\n\nI also got into this book called 3% man by Corey Wayne \n\nI kept trying this stuff over and over and over again, like the three day rule where you can\031t contact a girl for three days or she\031ll think you\031re desperate and never talk to you. \n\nBefore that I would literally always text a girl I met at a bar the next day or even the NIGHT of because I was SO excited to get a number \n\nI\031ve literally gotten so many numbers in my phone of girls that I have no idea who they are. So naturally I thought this 3 day rule made a lot of sense \n\nIt\031s only been recently after I talked to some girl friends of mine that I learned this was stupid as fuck. \n\nBeing friends with girls has actually taught me a lot. \n\nIf there\031s anything I would recommend to heal, try making and being friends with girls.
## 13 Mike\031s last minute audit of his financial contributions didn\031t inspire Ximena to resubscribe to Mike, so he\031s packing his shit and going to the hotel as directed. He asks if he can come by the next day to see if Ximena\031s mom has fallen any further into the Mama Asuelu moat of GIVE ME MONEY, and maybe by then someone will feel sorry for him. \n\n\034I have a disease,\035 Mike apps. \034It\031s called I\031m a werewolf. Once you calm down and think about it rationally, you\031ll understand why every full moon you\031re a gold-digger.\035\n\nXimena options are: a.) Say no, and listen to a remix of the same tantrum, possibly paired with a fresh refusal to leave, and escalating violence, or b.) Ask him to call her tomorrow. She goes with option B, as most people would who have experienced this kind of shit before. \n\nMike calls the next day and Ximena tells him he can\031t come by, because Amazon has finally delivered the razor wire she ordered for home security, and the neighbors are waiting with torches and sharpened garden tools. Mike nearly collapses in a swoon over this injustice, and says goodbye to everyone over the phone, while insisting he deserves more than farewell-at-a-distance from his purchased family.\n\n Mike insists that if they reunite it\031ll be on the back of Ximena\031s groveling, so the next scene is Mike messaging her in the middle of her 90DF interview. Ximena\031s interest renews with whatever he texts, so she calls him. Mike seizes opportunity, and insists they shouldn\031t break up over \034one big fight,\035 and promises they will have a house in the US, and a house in Colombia, and they can imagine who lives inside from the safety of grandpa\031s attic. \n\nXimena knows this is the drumroll to him reminding her that she\031s financially dependent on him, and anything he offers will be added to the gold digger file by the next full moon. Mike insists that won\031t be the case, and he was just angry and said some things he\031ll say again the next time he\031s angry. Production asks Ximena if she\031s actually considering this shit, and she says she doesn\031t know, while her mom makes weepy eyes while clutching a microwave. \n\nGino is trying to make it to the airport without stepping on another one of Jasmine\031s mood mines, which explains his affinity for track shorts.\n\n\034The stakes are pretty high, because if I step wrong, I\031m losing a leg,\035 Gino explains. \n\nJasmine sobs over what happened to Mahogany\031s hair, and Gino tries to pack faster than Jasmine can unpack. Jasmine marvels over his nut-hugger underwear, and Gino says he only planned to wear them 10,000 years ago, when this season first began and they were somehow talking about babies. Eventually he reaches the airport, and Jasmine is a mess, but imagines she\031ll somehow survive the horrors of seperation. \n\n\034I am like what would happen if Gone with the Wind, a telenovella, and the DSM-V rolled around at an orgy, and everyone got pregnant,\035 Jasmine sobs. \034I am what Elijah always dreamed of for himself.\035\n\n\034Didn\031t bring up the prenup,\035 Gino swallows a fart, and returns to his regularly scheduled yoinks. \034It\031s hard. You can only reschedule your flight three times, and I\031m on a budget.\035\n\n\034Right now I feel so detached from reality,\035 Jasmine is a one-woman quote machine. \034I can\031t get into Gino\031s suitcase. But I will not curse science for ruining so many lives, because it has also given us so much.\035\n\n\034I don\031t even know if she\031s acting,\035 camera #1 isn\031t sure which award to nominate her for. \034But she\031s the most interesting person I\031ve gotten to film&ever. And it was all at resorts with no one else around. Can we come back?\035\n\nMemphis and Hamza are ready to advertise successful completion of this trip\031s to-do list with matching t-shirts. Her tshirt warns that \034wife\035 isn\031t crossed off yet, so outsiders should approach this as something akin to an active shooter situation. Hamza is a mess over her looming departure, because he still has feelings, and Hayet starts crying to show us who he got them from. \n\nThey head to the airport, and the whole route Hamza is worried, sad, and anxious to arrive in the US before his child is born.\n\n\034You with me is happiness,\035 Memphis says. \n\n\034Please, do not ask your mother\031s advice on this relationship,\035 Hamza knows this is his only hope. \n\nMahogany is on the run, and Ben chases her to the getaway car. M\031Hog makes a desperate bid to banish him and accidentally spits, *God bless you!* instead of *the power of Christ compels you*, which throws a wrench in her escape. \n\n\034I\031M TRYING TO TELL YOU MY HEART!\035 Ben auditions for an 80s teen movie written by a sixty year-old pervert. \034DON\031T PLAY DEAD! IT ISN\031T FUN THAT WAY! RUN! RUN LIKE A GAZELLE! I SAID RUN!\035\n\n\034Put the camera down and HELP ME!\035 M\031Hog forgets she doesn\031t speak English, but the crew remembers they don\031t believe in souls. \n\n\034STEP OUT OF THE CAR AND READ MY PAMPHLET!\035 Ben dead-birds the glass. \034WHAT DOES GOD WANT FOR YOU, MEOWGANY? I DIDN\031T GO THROUGH ALL THIS TROUBLE TO LEARN YOUR NAME TO ONLY GET TO SAY IT ONE TIME!\035\n\n\034I don\031t have to read your pamphlet! I can choose to read something else!\035 M\031Hog tries to powerlock the doors. \n\n\034I\031m not going to get in,\035 Ben has been reprimanded for following a woman into a car before. \034But I want to assure you that it\031s not my fault you\031re afraid. You\031re being paranoid, when I\031m just trying to trap you for a little mandatory alone time.\035\n\n\034It is your fault I\031m afraid!\035 Mahogany looks to the producers for a weapon. \034What the FUCK, even the Hunger Games gives you tools!\035\n\n\034I think you\031re neglecting what\031s already available to you,\035 Reddit\031s active prepper community knows it\031s their time to shine. \034First, are those baton shoes, or is there a dagger hidden in the heel? Just a blunt force instrument? That\031s fine. Jam it into his eye or the base of his skull. While he\031s screaming (if you go for the eye), punch him in the balls, and then what do you still have? That\031s right. A second shoe.\035\n\nM\031Hog\031s strategy is to tell the driver to take off while Ben is still in pursuit.\n\n\034Don\031t do this. I will simply roll, get up, and start running after the car. You\031ve seen Terminator 2. You know what I\031m talking about,\035 Ben bens. \n\nM\031Hog opts to risk it, and the driver floors it. \n\n\034I DIDN\031T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS FRAGILE!\035 Ben is a human yikes.\n\n\034At the Tell-All I imagine people will have some questions about why I didn\031t grab her by the arms and shake her around like a ragdoll,\035 no one is wondering that, Ben, but thanks for triggering everyone with PTSD. \034Can I use Shaun\031s MUA, or do I have to bring my own?\035\n\nFourteen minutes ago Usman left Kim at the airport, which is enough time for him to get cracking on wifey #2, and Zara has been ID\031d as an ideal candidate. Since his swarm of frothing female fans are allegedly responsible for tearing their relationship asunder, he beats them back with a machete just before placing the call.\n\n\034Hello. Wearing this SojaBoy necklace from Kim is how I will ascend to villain status, which is my only chance for a third season,\035 Usman is himself.\n\n\034You know I don\031t do fake love,\035 says the totes authentic Zara, here to aw shucks on the right coy. \034I was sad when we broke up. We used to talk every day while Kim complained you were always on the phone. We\031d laugh, we did everything.\035 \n\n\034That\031s everything?\035 Usman yammys. \n\n\034Did you text?\035 Ben thinks it\031s never too soon for advice.\n\n\034You know we had to be apart long enough for me to get a laptop,\035 Usman is ever-smooth. They remain torn about getting back together, while Kim exists in a relationship somewhere, all by herself. \n\nAND NOW, it\031s time for Tell-All Part 1!\n\nShaun: Hey everyone! My name\031s Shaun, and I am a clone of the previous Shaun, and this is a dress we share. Who knows the punchline to THIS joke: How many racists does it take to constitute a hostile work environment?\n\nGino: (Chews face)\n\nShaun: Gino, hi. I was a big Bell-Biv-DeVoe fan, too. \n\nGino: Now you know. \n\nMike: Yo \024\n\nShaun: Mike, can you hear me?\n\nMike: Yes I \024 \n\nShaun: That means you\031re too close. Keep moving your chair back. Further&keep going&keep going further&\n\nMike: I\031m in the road!\n\nShaun: But you can still hear me, Mike! HAMZA!\n\nHamza: Hello, I am in America, and this season I am the best looking. \n\nShaun: That\031s true, so I\031m going to need you to have a seat next to Memphis\031 breasts. This will be my safe space. \n\nHamza: Mine also. \n\nJasmine: Baby, take off the hat so you can be in the good looking competition. \n\nMike: You\031ve got to take it off, buddy.\n\nGino: I\031m a fuck monster, I can cover my body in starfish and fling myself into the sea. The defense rests.\n\nMike: What\031s a fuck monster?\n\nJasmine: This is not for you to know. \n\nShaun: Hang on, let\031s go back to bullying people out of anxiety. Gino, the hat, amirite? This feels weird. I\031m better at wincing like everyone around me is a cunt-punch.\n\nGino: We\031ve established I\031m strange and impulsive, and once again you threaten my head woobie. \n\nJasmine: That is because I am the one who is volatile, and you are the one who is creepy. This is sexy to me. \n\nBen: I would not describe myself as creepy or threatening. Now, allow me to detail how to masculine.\n\nShaun: Did you say mescaline, because that makes sense.\n\nMahogany: It\031s not safe to give him attention. He is patriarrrrrrrrchy as a person.\n\nShaun: Ben, am I safe? Are the others safe? \n\nBen: I don\031t understand. What\031s an others? \n\nShaun: Like, other people. Who exist. Even if you can\031t see them. \n\nBen: I don\031t see why they would exist if I can\031t see them.\n\nProduction: Ben we\031re gonna need you to see other people. Preferably not as your subjects.\n\nBen: Is this about the homeless orphans that shared a poison cup with me after I selflessly put out the diaper fire at their transient camp, and humbly offered my own teat for them to sup from? I had no plans to join the Fun Punch Bunch, but I take full responsibility for being selfless. \n\nJasmine: No, it is about the part where you are a pervert. \n\nShaun: Lisa, hi. I can\031t imagine what you\031ve been through. Let me know if you need the name of a good exorcist. I see one after every Tell-All.\n\nLisa: Will this exorcism in any way interfere with his divine quest for an unsullied, youthful queen to sire his do-over family? Either way, please give me the name. \n\nShaun: Hang on, does anyone have children on set?!\n\nKim: Jamal is here. \n\nShaun: Can we give him special glasses so he can\031t see Ben?\n\nProduction assistant: What, with like, a douchebag filter? You know our budget is $16 and a twelve pack.\n\nShaun: Did I ask you to be poor? AND WE\031RE BACK. Ben, just like, whatever. Don\031t make me talk to Mike.\n\nBen: Kim pursued Usman kind of aggressively. That\031s a bro thing, bro.\n\nKim: What?\n\nBen: I used this in a sermon when I was a youth pastor. Men are basically predators. \n\nKim: Did he say \030men\031 or \030Ben\031, because only one of those works. \n\nBen: Men are like lions, and women are like gazelles. You don\031t want them to just lay down. That isn\031t fun. You want to play with your food.\n\nJasmine: I watch a nature special once where killer whales do this with a seal, and it was very upsetting.\n\nShaun: Ben, are you saying that you\031re trying to have sex with what you eat? There are so many drunk songs mocking the Scottish for this. \n\nLisa: Female lions hunt. It does not surprise me that Ben doesn\031t know this. He probably got lost somewhere around the mane. \n\nBen: Would I ask dinner if it wanted to be eaten? Now, let me start over with today\031s lecture, *Predator: Hunting a Woman Until She Forgets She\031s Meat.*\n\nJasmine: You must be very hungry, because you always seem to be dining alone.\n\nShaun: Jasmine, get me out of here. How many wigs do you have on?\n\nJasmine: All of them, Shaun. Do you think I leave any for the baldheaded exes of Gino?\n\nGino: Is this about to be about my hat again, because I\031m gonna need a trigger warning and an apology.\n\nJasmine: Give me the meat! I want the meat! It is so good I love it, I love your meat! The lioness will hunt, bitches!\n\nShaun: Can you keep this up for like, ten minutes? Microdosing was a mistake that can only be rectified with macro action. Have you ever used RSO as eyeliner? Shit\031s about to get weird. \n\nMike: Just have sex. \n\nShaun: See?\n\nGino: Generally, I prefer to have sex when I consent to it enthusiastically. \n\nShaun: Let\031s travel back in time to sex as a joyless duty&here comes the wavy lines and the mist&\n\nKim: I call it going after what you want. \n\nShaun: YOU\031RE STILL TOO CLOSE, MIKE!\n\nMike: I\031m using a walkie-talkie!\n\nShaun: (Give me that.) Keep going until you hear sirens! Over!\n\nMike: I\031m going to get a ticket for having a lawn chair on the freeway. Over. \n\nShaun: Zabbidy zabbidy zob! Over!\n\nJasmine: What the fuck, Shaun?\n\nShaun: I just need him to believe I\031m losing the signal. Stop it, Ben.\n\nBen: But I was just getting to the climax.\n\nKim: Is that why the temperature dropped?\n\nMemphis: Are we still talking about sex? Cause me need pee pee in my wee wee so Memphis go boom boom. \n\nElla: I know you guys want to get back to my cheating, so OKAY, I guess I\031ll fess up! I\031m not trying to BRAG, but if I reference a male friend, you should assume it\031s a dick-in-waiting. \n\nShaun: I\031m glad you\031re not trying to brag, because I\031ve been to Idaho, and I think all of you are related. Gino, have you ever sent an email?\n\nGino: Like, to someone else? \n\nShaun: Yes. To another person. \n\nGino: What, like, on the internet? \n\nShaun: That\031s right. \n\nGino: I mean, obviously. It\031s much easier to send nudes as attachments. I think. \n\nShaun: Did you ever message a member of the cast?\n\nGino: My member, or like, to say hi?\n\nJasmine: What are you asking, Shaun. Stop flirting with Gino. \n\nShaun: Look, Jessica said she messaged every cast member in a desperate bid for more airtime. Which one of you fuckers responded?\n\n Mike: I can\031t believe Nelcy didn\031t think of that. \n\nShaun: I can\031t believe she\031s going to be on stage later, since there\031s nothing she could possibly contribute. Here\031s Gino asking Jessica if she\031s Sicillian with a cowboy emoji. Really? This is the smoking gun guys?\n\nGino: That was the only emoji with a hat. \n\nJasmine: Jessica also send six messages to me. Enough about that bitch. We were talking about sex as duty? One morning I tell Gino that I will go to the gym first, and when I got back, he already play with his pee pee. \n\nShaun: Is it normal to go to the gym before sex?\n\nJasmine: On this latest trip, we only have sex one time. \n\nShaun: Is it because you were at the gym? Someone call the sex police. \n\nSex police: Ma\031am, we\031ve been supervising this entire season.\n\nJasmine: Masturbation is cheating!\n\nSex police: Alright, we\031re taking you in. We can\031t have anyone standing in the way of safety. Do you know the sort of madness masturbation restriction inspires?\n\nProud Boys: Let\031s put it this way, a bunch of us are in jail.\n\nGino: Okay, my pants-boner spit up. It happens when you have a stripper grinding on your face, RIGHT JASMINE? REMEMBER?\n\nShaun: I\031m sorry, I\031m confused, am I feigning outrage over the amount of times Gino and Jasmine had sex, or the masturbation thing? What year did we travel back to?\n\nJasmine: Women don\031t need to wank and I\031m TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. I LOVE IT I LOVE YOUR MEAT GIVE ME YOUR MEAT. \n\nShaun: Gino, what\031s a sugar baby? \n\nGino: Kim and Usman. \n\nShaun: No, to you. \n\nGino: Mike and Ximena.\n\nShaun: I find it surprising that you would pay for sex!\n\nGino: Really?\n\nShaun: But you pay for it?\n\nGino: Shaun this is called entrapment.\n\nShaun: Jamal can you come out here while we humiliate your mom?\n\nJamal: Okay. Yes, this is a strange relationship.\n\nShaun: What\031s strange about it?\n\nJamal: Really Shaun?\n\nShaun: (whispers) Is he your new dad? \n\nJamal: Shaun, as an adult child of 90DF, let\031s not pretend that Usman has any interest in me. This will shock none of the other adult children of 90DF, but this happens to my mom a lot, and she stopped asking me to call them dad three relationships ago. Usman? He\031s looking for a personal assistant and sponsor. Where is the love?\n\nUsman: Hang on, I haven\031t used that song lyric yet. How\031s this: Zara my baby yah yah, where is the love now girl, in dey love dey love dey yah yah. \n\nShaun: Keep singing, I can almost see your fans!\n\nMike: That\031s just me waving from the freeway. \n\nJamal: And I mean, who calls someone they\031re seeing a \034potential\035? That\031s disrespectful. Maybe isn\031t a title, it\031s a meh. \n\nShaun: He called Zara.\n\nKim: He did not.\n\nShaun: Let\031s take a look at this totally not rehearsed phone call that defintiely wasn\031t arranged from the very start, for fuck\031s sake.\n\nKim: I didn\031t know. I still don\031t know. Let me dab at my eyes while I find a way to blame Zara. \n\nUsman: You can also blame all women, and yourself for not trusting me! \n\nNicole: A beauty supply store is a great idea. \n\nJamal: Wow. Now you\031ve invoked the woman who takes photos of vegetables to show how much she\031s changed. \n\nMike: Actually, I accidentally invoked Nicole. \n\nNicole: It was the approval pictures. \n\nKim: I\031m upset. I need a minute. \n\nUsman: Kimberly, hold on. You\031re overreacting and you already agreed to this. Kimberly! You agree to be submissive! Kimbahlee! KimBAHHHHHHlee! This is supposed to hypnotise you! KimBAHHHHHlee! (Claps.)\n\nJamal: Wow. Why are you clapping at her like that?\n\nUsman: I am a musician you see!\n\nKim: You don\031t respect me.\n\nUsman: I don\031t have to!\n\nShaun: Jamal, can you stay? It\031s getting weird.\n\nBen: Does that work? Clap Clap Clap! M\031Hog? Can you crawl out of the screen? CLAP CLAP CLAP! I COMMAND you! CLAP CLAP CLAP!\n\nJamal: He\031s actually saying the word clap. \n\nBen: I\031ve got bronzer on my hands, and I didn\031t want to chance it. Did it work? Meowgany? M\031Hog? Hello? Okay, who turned off my microphone&\n\nNEXT WEEK: Jamal comforts Kim over her past and future mistakes, Jasmine tells Jessica that she\031s faker than Mahogany\031s filters, no one seems to call Mike out on anything, Ella cries in manufactured drama, Memphis and Hamza exist, Ben\031s advice column has a few critics, and Shaun says fuck it and just sprinkles outrage at randoms. \n\nThank you, Patreon supporters!
## 14 Salam Alaikum and Ramadan mubarak everyone! \nLoooong post ahead so I will cut right into it!\n\nI ( 21, F, Turkish but born and raised in germany + this is all happening in germany) was at the subway a few days ago when a muslim woman sat next to me and started talking to me. She was quite nice and her vibe etc was fine as well. She seemed very genuine. We talked a little ( there was a language barrier!! plus noisy subway plus masks ... it was honestly... not ideal and I will use a little star to remind you guys of the not ideal circumstances ***) and she asked me about my age and whether or not I was married? ( *** she also asked something like : "but... no boyfriend, right??")\nShe then told me a little about her son and she also told me that he wants to get married and then *** she told me that he looks for a niqabi??? I really don't t know. \nOn that day I was wearing a jilbab, which I think motivated her to ask me in the first place but I was very obviously not wearing a niqab so I might have misunderstood? And if I didn't its just ???\nmoving ON\nAt first I was like "Im not really looking to get married bc student yada yada" And she was like nooo just talk to him, meet up with him and a mahram and the rest Allahu alam .. So I told her I would think about it and that I would have to talk to my parents first.\nThis was a 3-5 minute conversation bc I had to leave\nIn conclusion I know his name, I kind of know what he is working as ( ***She told me two different things, but confusing them isn't really uncommon especially as someone who does not speak the german language all too well) and I know his ethnicity. She also told me that is is religious.\n1. question: what do you guys think about being asked like this? \nI have many concerns..\n\nI prayed istikhara (whether or not I should meet with him) when I got home and I decided that I wouldn't contact her until I got some kind of 'sign'. During the prayer and after it, I felt no overwhelming feeling of any kind, everything was just very calm and balanced ? in a way? I didn't know how to interpret feeling 'nothing' so I decided to wait a little more. \n2. question: how do you interpret this? I have prayed istikhara once before regarding meeting with a potential for a first talk and immediately when I started praying I felt extremely bad so feeling calm like this could have been a good sign?\n\nThe following day I told my grandma ( who I thought was a little racist???) but to my surprise she was extremely accepting and encouraging when I told her that the guy isn't+doesn't speak turkish. This was a good sign!\nMy mom however was not a fan at all (which is something we argue about all the time bc its haram). But still I do care about her opinion so that was a bad sign???\n\nI asked a friend of mine whose opinion I value a lot and she was quite supportive as well.\n\n I had told my dad about it before I prayed istikhara and he was pretty neutral about it. \n\nNow to my concerns:\nWhy is his mother asking a stranger on the subway ? If he was a 'catch' he surely woud've found someone no? But at the same time, its hard finding someone nowadays? \nHer comments about boyfriend and niqab kind of worry me too.... but Im not even sure if she said them ??? \n\nAlso I don't even know if Im ready to get married right now ? Is it alright to meet up or talk/text? how do I even start talking this would be the first time ever?\n\nAlso I am struggling A LOT with self esteem/ worth/ confidence so I don't know how to even meet up with anyone in the first place ??? Should I avoid meeting anyone until I get better???\n\nI have a billion more concerns :,) but I feel like this is enough for now lol.\n\nThank you guys\n\n+ Someone asked for an update so:\n\n1. I have decided against it.\n2. I will be going to therapy lol\n3. Thank you guys for explaining istikhara, I believe that I haven't worded it too well in the post but it doesn't matter anyway! JazakAllah!!
## 15 \n10 years ago, I lost Josiah, the love of my life. Cancer. One hell of a disease, huh? He fought hard. Never gave up until the last moment. I was with him when he died, holding his hands as he took his final breath. Doctors came in then, rushed him away. Tried in vain to bring him back. No use, the disease had ravaged his body too much for too long.\n\nHe passed quietly and in peace. \034I\031m tired& just let me rest&\035 he had said. His \034official'' final moments. . At least, that\031s what I told everyone. The benefit of being alone in a room with a dying man is that once they pass, whatever you say happened might as well be the truth, you\031re the only reliable source after all.\n\nHis true last moments were something I figured would be best if only I knew. It would serve his family well to not hear the truth. But right now, I don\031t think it matters too much.\n\nOn his deathbed, he looked at me, and smiled. I think he knew it was time. But that smile quickly faded, and was replaced by an expression of fear which I have never seen before. Something primal. A face that conveyed complete understanding, yet terrifying confusion. In that moment, he spoke his last.\n\n\034It hates& It hates&\035\n\nAnd then he died. \n\nAfter his death, I tried to move on. Forget about the past. Remember Josiah for who he was, for the great times we had, the laughter, the joy.\n\nBut I couldn\031t forget that face. Forget those words. He saw something then, I think. Maybe a glimpse of something that comes after. A brief look at what awaited him on the other side, and it terrified him.\n\nFrom that moment on I disguised my feelings. To my friends and family, I was coping well. I had moved on, come to terms with his death. In truth, I never did. That face, that look of pure, unadulterated terror, it stuck with me. \n\nFor the next 5 years, I endeavored to find out what Josiah saw. I think it must have been out of grief. I wanted to assure myself he was alright, that he was at peace. Perhaps it was a hallucination, I thought.\n\nI wish I just kept thinking that. \n\nI met with others like me. People who lost someone. People who witnessed their loved ones die, and they all had the same story as me. A brief moment of peace, before the fear sets in.\n\nThey all had their theories. Hallucinations caused by dying neurons, a vision of hell, the primal fear of death resurfacing at the last moment. They all thought different things, and we couldn\031t confirm any of these theories ourselves. We were alive, after all.\n\nOne of us, Sharon, I think, brought up people who died and were brought back to life. You know, when someone's heart stops, but doctors start it back up again before the brain fully dies. Stuff like that. She suggested we look for someone who had gone through that, and see if they would share anything.\n\nSo we put an ad out in the paper. Yea, weird, I know, imagine reading in the news a request to find people who were briefly dead. But we were all grief stricken and desperate, and it seemed logical to us. We figured we wouldn\031t actually find anyone this way. We were right at first, we got a few people coming to us with prank stories, getting their sick laughs out of us. Occasionally a priest would respond to our inquiry, try to tell us about the good word of God and the paradise that awaited the true believers after death . We, of course, didn\031t entertain these people for long.\n\nBut one day, someone came along who actually knew something. Tobias Smith was his name, A 72 year old veteran from Vietnam who suffered a stroke which nearly killed him. Doctors said he was legally dead for about 3 minutes before they brought him back. He called us one night, saying he had a near death experience he\031d like to share. \n\nWe invited him to meet with us in person, of course, and he agreed. Tobias told us to come down to an old church, so we did.\n\nWhen we got there however, we didn\031t hear what we wanted to hear.\n\n\034Sit down\035 Tobias barked. We all did, eagerly awaiting a first hand account of death, waiting for our curiosity to be satiated, our fear for the fate of our loved ones put at ease.\n\nWe didn\031t get that.\n\n\034Its not worth looking for.\035\n\nAnd with that, he started to walk away. We all tried to convince him to say more, and he did oblige, albeit with something we already knew.\n\n\034It hates.\035\n\nHe never contacted us again after that, and we could never get a hold of him. 1 week later, he was found dead. Hung himself. \n\nOur resolve was crushed at this point. Seemed the only way to find what we were looking for was to die. In fact, that\031s what I said, verbatim, the next time we all met up. And you wanna know what? We all agreed. We\031d have to die to find the answers we wanted.\n\nSo I volunteered to die.\n\nOur plan was straightforward, simple. Using electrical impulses, my heart would be stopped, then restarted after 3 minutes. One of the people in the group, Clarence, was a med student, so he would be in charge of all that. Everyone else would watch, and wait.\n\nThe day of our experiment came, and here I was, strapped onto a table, electrodes on my chest, ready and willing to die. I wasn\031t scared. Maybe i would get to see Josiah again, I thought. Or at least, a glimpse of where he was.\n\nButtons were pressed, devices were turned on, and before I could say a word, I closed my eyes, and I was dead.\n\nIt\031s peaceful, for a few moments. Like floating in nothingness. In that moment I was feeling the most serene feeling I had felt in my entire life. I wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever, at peace in the void.\n\nAnd then I opened my eyes.\n\nImagine you were standing at a window with the curtains closed, and you opened them. Imagine looking out through that window, and seeing a sight so utterly terrifying, that your greatest desire in life became to close the curtains, gouge out your eyes, and never see anything ever again. That\031s kind of like how I felt, but there\031s no way I could describe it in text. The feeling is more than that. It\031s something deep inside the mind. Something I don\031t think people were meant to experience.\n\nI opened my eyes to a maelstrom of chaos. I was pulled apart by winds made of glass shards, then put back together with my blood replaced by acid. I was thrown onto a field of spikes made of salt and left to rot for a trillion years. Vultures ate my bones and recounted to me the worst moments of my life. My eyes were turned inside out so that I could see my own pain. I was given every disease possible and then nailed to the walls of a fortress made of blood. I don\031t exactly know if these things actually happened, or if I was just told to feel like they were. By who? Beats me. \n\nThroughout all of this, I could see It. Something watching. It had an eye, looking down on me from the sky. I don\031t know if It had anything else, I think It was just the eye. It felt, and I felt that feeling. Its presence alone imposed Its feelings onto me. In that moment, I think I was one with it, and it was one with me. \n\nAnd It hates.\n\nI woke up in a hospital bed. According to Clarence, when they brought me back I lunged for the nearest sharp object and tried to stab out my eyes. I remember doing that, but I remember that I thought it was a dream. \n\nOf course the group asked me what I saw, what I felt, if I met any of the ones we loved, but I didn\031t want to tell them. It would break their hearts to know. I had no answer for them. We already knew what the truth was. I laughed, and I told them the answer we had from the very start.\n\n\034It hates\035.\n\nI never spoke to any of them ever again. They had gotten their answers out of me, and I got what I wanted out of them. Closure.\n\nI knew the fate of Josiah, my love. I knew the fate of everyone we had lost, and everyone we have yet to lose. My heart was at peace, at least knowing what they all saw, what they will see. I was sad and afraid, of course, but the fact that this fate was inevitable eased my mind. No point in fighting against destiny, I think. \n\nI lived my hollow life, pretending to have never seen what I saw. I\031m pretty good at hiding things, if you haven\031t noticed. But now, I\031m writing this on my deathbed. Terminal lung cancer. One hell of a disease.\n\nI\031ve instructed a close friend of mine to post this once I die. If you\031re reading this I\031m dead, and she fulfilled her promise. \n\nI bet I can guess what you\031re thinking now. \034Why write this?\035, \034why share this with strangers on the internet?\035 To tell you the truth, I don\031t know. I just felt like I had to tell someone what I\031ve seen. Had to warn people. Maybe someone who knows more than me can learn how to avoid all this, or not, who knows.\n\nAnyway, I\031m out of time. I can see It now. Faintly. Its eye watches me, waits for me to lose my grip on this life. I think I\031m going to die soon. To tell you the truth, I\031m a bit scared. I don\031t want to go back to that place. But I\031m too weak to fight now.\n\nPart of me wants to deny that it\031s real. Part of me wants to think that I can just keep my eyes closed. That I can float in that peaceful place I was in before. But part of me knows that\031s impossible. My eyes are already opened. Can\031t close them again. Once you know the truth, you can\031t forget it.\n\nSomething waits for us after death, and It hates.
## 16 So, for a bit of backstory, my girlfriend (20afab) and I (20afab) have been going out for a year, and just had our first year anniversary on the 30th. We both met online as most introverted, queer kids with mostly elderly people in their areas do (mostly mine). We both live an hour\031s distance from each other. At the beginning of our relationship, I had to hide it because I have very overprotective, helicopter parents that will full on yell at me, disapprove of anything I do, people I talk to, and want to know every little detail about my life and hate any secrets kept from them. The first two times I went over to see her (we both don\031t drive yet, her family doesn\031t allow for her to use ride sharing apps and her herself has really bad anxiety about using them, and ironically despite my parents not liking me to go out tons aside from work and anything they completely know about) everything went fine, and it was presumed I was with a friend that they knew I had from my job at the time. Once I tried being more open with them and actually being honest because I hate hiding anything, however have a huge fear of being brutally criticized and told that I\031m doing everything wrong if I\031m being honest, they started lashing out in refusing to drive me to work or anywhere, telling me to use Uber for everything, locking me out of the house or telling me to be home at a certain time otherwise they lash out even more, and kept talking about rent which they finally charged me on after coming back from seeing my gf again which they fully knew about (complaining that I\031m spending money to go see her, despite them refusing to ever drive me and only taking me out ONCE to learn to drive& that\031s another issue, but I have been pulled out of school and homeschooled by my parents since the first grade, and they have refused to do a lot of necessary things for me, including preparing me to be out on my own and just having a \034figure it out\035 attitude about it.), told me I had to start paying them $720 a month because my brothers who are really special needs pay them that much through their SSI each month, and given that I spend money on my own food over half the time, pay for any transportation I need if I\031m refused a ride, for any necessities, and that I only make $12 an hour on a Monday-Friday 9-5 job& that\031s quite a lot for me. I\031ve been threatened that if I think they\031re trying to screw me over or that they\031re charging me too much, I can move out and see that I\031m paying twice as much for utilities and rent and any other miscellaneous bills, and that I\031m simply being given the best deal& fast forward to the last few months, my parents have been driving me the past few months to and from work and have seemed to calm a bit on their rent by giving me a discount of me owing them $500 a month. I do apologize for rambling on and getting off track& about six months ago, my girlfriend started working a part time job where management, specifically her boss treats her and her coworkers like shit at times and doesn\031t tell them everything about their shifts and gives shit for calling off and trouble giving requested time off. Because of her high anxiety and liking to appease people (much like myself) and not liking to cause any conflict, and her boss continuously throwing days at her to work, she wasn\031t able to ask off and had to work the day of our anniversary. I on the other hand, have a more understanding and compassionate boss who gave me the day off, until one of our cashiers quit and instead of her covering my shift, I had to cover it. We\031re a smaller franchise pet store that is low on cashiers, and I\031m heavily relied upon, as most of our cashiers are all still in high school and can only work evenings or weekends& fast forward to this past week, my mom has been screaming at me that I\031m making excuses for my girlfriend, and that even with part time jobs you still have rights to ask off of work and is shitting on me for initially taking the day off work to spend time with her, even planning to go over to her job before her shift ended, and for me still even going out to see her and saying she makes no effort for me, which in reality, we\031re both trying our best to accommodate each other in our own circumstances and still love each other both very much and try our best to call everyday and text as much as we can. She\031s working on her drivers license and once she gets hers she\031ll be coming out to me frequently. I\031m in the process of obtaining a permit and saving up money for drivers Ed because my parents told me I have to pay for school myself and that they won\031t help me. The issue at hand right now is us planning that anniversary time and my parents essentially giving me shit for every aspect of the relationship and for me being in a relationship with anyone. I can\031t speak about wanting to do anything with my partner without my mom making me feel really bad about it. To anyone that\031s even read this far, I admire your patience, as I don\031t have that with myself. I really apologize for going in loop holes, but hope that I\031ve partially explained my situation with mostly my mom, fair amount of the time my dad too. As much as I need to, please take a breather and a break after reading this.
## 17 I moved in with my roommate L 5 months ago, we met though her boyfriend T that was a casual friend of mine. L sucks, but not as much as her dog that has completely destroyed our apartment because of her neglect. Her dog can open the doors and has pissed on my bed and a pile of laundry I had on the floor in my room. Her dog is like this because L likes to get trashed at bars and then will sleep at Ts the next day and leaver her dog without food or water or bathroom trips for some times 48 hours. Her dog as ripped all the blinds off the patio, scratched up all the doors in our apartment too. My breaking point is the 600$ bike I just got she has jumped up and chewed the handle. \n\nWhen I\031ve told L I\031m not going to be taking care of her dog (I love dogs but I work 45 hours and go to school 12 hours) and that she needs to be more responsible she says I\031m being cruel and aggressive. I don\031t think I\031m out of line for telling her it\031s not okay to feed your dog pasta and that it should have dog food or not taking her out for 2 days is neglect. She\031s not even busy she\031s a school teacher and just gets to fucked up to care for her pet. \n\nShe also cheated on her boyfriend T and they constantly argue while they are trashed. She doesn\031t think she cheated on him even though she was texting his friend/coworker that she wanted to fuck him. She\031s unhinged from reality. She constantly cries with her door open waiting for me to get home and be sympathetic but I can\031t be it\031s insane!\n\nI found a place to move that will be only 50$ more but I\031ll have to break the lease but I\031ll be living alone. I won\031t be able to move in for 3 months. I know she\031s going to have a tantrum when I tell her but I can\031t stand it anymore.\n\nCan\031t wait to have peace even if I\031m an asshole for breaking the lease
## 18 I live in a large town/small city, lot of college kids. I've never gotten a license, and that's a whole other rant. I lived in 3 different states through high school. We should make driving licences just universal, my god. I don't drive much. After leaving for college, taking on the extra cost of a car (plus insurance, plus gas, plus repairs) never made sense. \n\nIn college I mostly walked or rode the busses. Since graduating, I've been cycling everywhere. I do about 20-25 minutes to work each way, and my grocery is easier to walk to. It keeps me fit, since I've been in a slump and not exercising. I do enjoy it much more than driving, which makes me so nervous. \n\nBut my problem is gd motorists. We don't have adequate bike lanes so I keep on the sidewalk so I'm not killed. Not to mention the occasional heckling, which is so incredibly stupid. Yes I'm gay but that has nothing to do with wearing a helmet. I give extremely generous right of way because no one is paying attention. I wait until I've made eye contact with a motorist stopping often. The amount of texting and driving I see is insane. Texting while you're making an unprotected turn!\n\nNot to mention other issues like stretches of road and sidewalk full of broken glass either from the tornado four damn months ago or from drunk kids. \n\nBut there is some hope! My city has been working on constructing eventual bike lanes. A friend of mine is getting involved with a local org for cycling. I'm just gonna try to stay positive and not get hit.
## 19 It's cold, dark, and something is after me down here. My phone battery is almost gone, and I don't have much time. Let me tell you how this happened.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI love exploring caves. You never know what you'll find, and its a nice experience. So when I found an abandoned mine shaft near the outskirts of my town, it piqued my curiosity. So of course, I climbed into it. I'm not an idiot, of course I brought food, water, my cellphone, and a weapon to protect myself, in case an animal tried to attack me. I also made to leave a trail of bright blue yarn so I could find my way back. But I couldn't prepare for what happened next.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe mines had low ceilings, and I had to crouch in order not to hit my head. As I explored the winding tunnels, I started to feel dizzy. I took my phone out, and tried to find out where I was. According to my phone, I was going in circles. Weird, right? All my surroundings were unfamiliar, and I didn't remember seeing these patterns in the walls. I left a trail, and if I was indeed going in a circle, I would have came across it again.\n\nOther strange things began happening. As I went further into the tunnels, I heard breathing noises. I didn't know what it was coming from, but I now knew I wasn't alone down here. Weirdly enough, the noises seemed to be coming from the walls. Of course, this is where I bailed out. I followed my trail back, but when I wasn't able to find the start of my trail. I knew I hadn't walked this far, so why was it taking so long to find the entrance? So, I called my friend to help me out. \n\nI didn't hear anything from them for a couple of minutes, until they texted me something. "I followed your trail until the end, but I can't find you. Where r u?"\n\nI was baffled. This had to be a nightmare, right? I pinched myself just to make sure, but sadly, I wasn't dreaming. \n\nI kept following the yarn trail until I reached a dead end. The trail cut off, and the breathing in the walls became louder. I started to run. I looked back, just to see what it was, and was met with the sight of a vaguely humanoid creature, mangled and dirty, crawling after me. I threw my knife at it, but instead of stopping or falling, its flesh seemed to absorb the knife into its body. The sight was horrifying, and I would have puked right then and there if I wasn't scared that it might catch me. The creature screeched, and I felt like my ears were going to bleed.\n\n I was able to outrun it for the time being, but it will get me someday. If I am able to escape, I will never go into creepy tunnels ever again. \n\nI hope all of you listen to my warnings, and please NEVER go into creepy mine shafts.
## 20 I just started a new wfh job on 4/1. I have a nanny who is due to have her own baby in May. For months I have been trying to find a replacement with no success, people ghosting interviews etc. I finally resigned myself to putting my baby in daycare and paid the enrollment fee. Suddenly a friend of mine who also worked formally as a nanny before messaged me to say her job ended on 3/31 and she is looking for work (she has babysat in the past). I am thinking wow this may be a miracle moment or something! \nSome background: my friend has chronic medical conditions which cause flair ups that even lead to hospitalization. She is in constant pain and gets poor sleep as a result. When she has babysat for me in less high stakes scenarios she would not wake up in time, even when I was giving her a ride to my house to watch my baby. She would not respond to calls or texts and I would drive home sans childcare. I'd get apologies an hour or so later. Eventually she actually gets a traditional job making more $$ and I get my awesome nanny who has been professional and never late!\n\nYesterday I had her scheduled to arrive at 9am to help me while I did some work around the house. In a way its my test of sorts to see if she could come. At 1030!am she texts me asking if I want Starbucks (no! I have coffee at my house wtf are you doing making stops). She didn't arrive until 11am. She comes in, starts crying telling me how exhausted and in pain she was and how she struggled this am. We have a heart to heart. I express my concerns around a new job and her ability to show up. She says she can get into a better routine and med mgmt and be more consistent etc. She then falls asleep for 3 hours on my couch then drives home. I get no childcare that day. \nLuckily my current nanny should be able to continue (if no baby arrives) for the next 2 weeks until I figure things out. \nShe is a good person and I know could really use the money. But i really need childcare. And I can't find a new nanny to date.\nShould I just put my kid in daycare or give her another chance?
## 21 Ok here's an incident that happened to me yesterday, if you have enough time :)\nI'm an Indian College Student and just like every student I was desperate to make some money for myself and just when i wanted a job, A friend of mine recommended me a company.\nKnown as BIOSASH. (it's an Indian company selling sea buckthorns) \nThe catchphrase was "WORK FROM HOME AND GET PAID 8000 RUPEES OR MORE, JUST 5 HRS OF YOUR TIME WILL BE TAKEN" \nand being an ignorant fucker i got interested and texted my friend that I'll do it. (i thought its a job where I'll work 5 hrs and they'll pay me, simple) \nBut It was not. \nMy friend gave me vague details about the job, he said to me "once you attend their seminar, you'll know about everything" \nAnd guess what the ticket to the seminar was 300 rupees (which was not much and i agreed to pay, because duhh i was getting a job) I was very excited. \nTimeskip to attending the seminar, \nThere they told me all about this pyramid shit on how I'll have to recruit 4 people and then so on..... \nThey fucked with my head, presenting some successfull candidates who joined this company 2 years back and made a fortune doing this pyramid shit. Also other convincing bullshit. \nThey demanded 11,800 rupees as fee to get in, and when i asked them why they want such huge amount? they said its for training and "personality development" \nI knew somethin was fishy. \nHell, if i wanted to develop my personality i would read some good books, do some quality shit and fuck i do have a nice enough personality, i dont wanna waste my money in this development horseshit. \nI asked them to give me some time to think about it.\nGot Home did some fuckin research and eventually said a crystal clear NO. \nThey tried very hard to convince me but fuck' em. \nThough I lost 300 rupees when i paid for the seminar. \n(but no regret, i learnt something) \nGod I was close... At one point i felt shit let's do it but i was tired of making impulsive decisions and thought it over one more time. \nSharing this story because... ( i dont know why I'm sharing this but take whatever you want from this story) \nPeace.
## 22 Tyranny of Phandelver, the guide to running Tyranny of Dragons as a sequel to Lost Mine of Phandelver, has been updated.\n\nThe pdfs are now fully searchable and you can mark or highlight them at your pleasure. The guides haven't changed, but the text has been edited for clarity. They're available now on DMs Guild:\n\n[Hoard of the Dragon Queen](https://www.dmsguild.com/product/362922/Tyranny-of-Phandelver-Hoard-of-the-Dragon-Queen)\n\n[The Rise of Tiamat](https://www.dmsguild.com/product/364406/Tyranny-of-Phandelver-The-Rise-of-Tiamat)\n\nIf you've already purchased the guides, you can get the updates free of charge when you log in to DMs Guild. If you haven't bought them yet, there's never been a better time to grab them.\n\nAs always, thanks to this community for your tremendous encouragement and support.
## 23 I've mentioned this in a previous comment of mine, but one of things I really, really appreciate about MiA is that Tsukushi frequently references obscure biology facts, especially when it's related to an animal.\n\nAnd, I haven't seen anyone else mention them or collect them all in one place, so here it is: a short list of obscure biology facts in MiA.\n\n**The Curse of the Abyss** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/The_Abyss#The_Curse_of_the_Abyss)\n\nThis one gets talked about relatively frequently, but for those who don't know already, it's very clearly a reference to [decompression sickness](https://www.healthline.com/health/decompression-sickness#symptoms). Decompression sickness occurs when you experience depressurization, causing bubbles to form in your blood.\n\nIf you're diving, then this would occur when you *ascend* too quickly. Like the curse, fatigue, dizziness, shock, and confusion may ensue. And if you're a deep-sea creature ascending from the abyssal zone, however...well, [just look at this poor blobfish](https://www.sciencefocus.com/nature/the-blobfish-a-bloated-guide-to-the-worlds-ugliest-animal/). Looks a lot like the curse of the 5th layer, right?\n\n**Neritantan** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Neritantan)\n\nPossibly a cuter, furrier, and tastier version of naked mole rats. The reason why I say naked mole rats is [two-fold](https://nationalzoo.si.edu/animals/news/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-naked-mole-rats):\n\n1. They both live in complex, underground tunnels (see: all of episode 9).\n2. They [bunch up together to defend their colonies](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Neritantan/Image_Gallery?file=Neritantan_Nest_%2528Anime%2529.png).\n\nAnd I'm not aware of any other mammals that exhibit such behavior. The notable differences are that Neritantans don't necessarily have a queen like naked mole rats do, but they do inflate themselves to as a defense mechanism, [the way puff adders, frogs/toads, or pufferfish might](https://listverse.com/2014/01/03/10-weird-self-inflating-animal-species/).\n\n**Ottobas** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Ottobas)\n\nMaybe this one is not *that* obscure.\n\nIt looks like a hippo, it's aquatic like a hippo, it's [crazy aggressive and dangerous](https://www.livescience.com/27339-hippos.html) like a hippo, and it'll [sneak up on you like a hippo](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/comments/tbd9en/hippo_sneaks_up_on_family_swimming_in_a_lake/). The only fact about hippos that could be obscure is that like the Ottobas, [hippos are an invasive species](https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2021/01/11/invasive-hippos-escobar-colombia-castrate/).\n\n**Corpse Weeper** [\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Corpse-Weeper)\n\nThis one is complicated. Its features appear to come from a lot of different places:\n\n* voice mimicry: quite a few birds are known to mimic human sounds - [parrots can mimic voices & noises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ_wO0r16ww), [cockatiels can sing songs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no42Jy3tUZQ) \\- but the corpse weeper is known to mimic a *wide variety* of sounds. This calls to mind the lyrebird, [which has a similarly impressive repertoire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjE0Kdfos4Y), and which also copies the sounds of other animals.\n* eye placement: The corpse weeper has two, but not three, eyes: one on top of its head, and one on its side. The only animal that I can think of that has such radical, asymmetrical eye-placement are flatfishes - one of their [eyes will migrate](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/flatfish-animals-science-colors-flounders) to [the other side of their head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIMRSt40OMk) as they grow - but even then, both eyes move to the same side. A flounder's eye does not get stuck at the top of its head!\n* social coordination: corpse weepers can work together to hunt! Most of the time, when you think of carnivorous birds, you think of a lone hawk or an eagle, but there are a few species of birds of prey that coordinate their hunting, the most impressive of which is [Harris's Hawk](https://www.audubon.org/news/better-know-bird-how-harriss-hawks-hunt-wolves-bring-down-prey).\n* lack of beak: the corpse weeper is supposedly a bird, but to my knowledge, all birds have beaks. Honestly, this feature stumps me. Is it supposed to scrape away flesh with [a radula](https://barnegatshellfish.org/radula_02.htm) (a rough, "toothy" tongue) instead? Maybe [its long tongue](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Corpse-Weeper/Image_Gallery?file=Corpse-Weeper_eating.png) is inspired by [hummingbirds](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/science/the-hummingbirds-tongue-how-it-works.html)? Idk.\n\nFor the 5th layer and beyond, spoilers follow:\n\n>!Turbinid Dragon !<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Turbinid-Dragon)\n\n>!This one is a mishmash of creatures, and I had a really tough time figuring out what it was. A giraffe crossed with a seahorse? Giraffes are known to kick lions, just as the Turbinid Dragon kicked Reg... !<[\\[video link\\]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCG9y7Sh404)>! It wasn't until the Volume 10 extras (chapter 60.5) came out that I recognized something.!<\n\n>!The twitching back legs that Riko says belong to its children? That's clearly what the African Jacana does. !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/blogs/creatura-blog/2020/05/this-jacana-leg-situation-is-actually-adorable/)\n\n>!Pseudo-Water!<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Pseudowater)\n\n>!For me, its parasitic nature is not particularly interesting. While it could be an exaggerated version of cholera !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.cdc.gov/cholera/illness.html)>!, since they are both waterborne diseases that cause diarrhea, I'm sure there are plenty of other sources of inspiration. Cholera can't be the only waterborne disease that causes humans to create more infected water.!<\n\n>!No, the interesting bit is pseudo-water's other effects: causing people solidify into...something. To me, this is strongly reminiscent of tree man disease (which causes your skin to grow tree-like growths) !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/tree-man-syndrome#definition)>!, maybe mixed with some Münchmeyer disease (which causes your muscles, tendons, and ligaments to turn to bone) !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4082270/)>!.!<\n\n>!Narehate Village Toilet!<[\\[wiki link\\]](https://madeinabyss.fandom.com/wiki/Made_in_Abyss_Chapter_043)\n\n>!Yes, I also think this thing has an inspiration too. !<u/AntiqueSandwich,>! this is for you.!<\n\n>!To find the inspiration, all you have to do is ask yourself: are there any organisms out there that act as a toilet?!<\n\n>!So yes. Yes there is. Enter the carnivorous pitcher plant. Carnivorous plants frequently live in nutrient-poor soil, meaning they need to eat animals in order to get enough nitrogen (and possibly other nutrients). However, for plants, feces are also nutrient rich. Perhaps it should be (un)surprising then, that a pitcher plant would evolve to devour poo. !<[\\[link to inspiration\\]](https://www.sciencealert.com/where-does-a-shrew-do-a-poo-in-its-very-own-loo-of-course)\n\nNow, I could go on, but I also don't want to turn my post into a wall of text explaining every single creature. Instead, I'd rather you ask me about the other creatures of the abyss, and I'll try my best to tell you what I think its sources of inspiration are!\n\nEDIT: apologies for ugly formatting. It appears that spoilers and links don't play well together. Also spelling, phrasing, and a few more facts.
## 24 We were soon busy taking advantage of the brief moment of peace before the tournament began. Sarkona, Alexandra, and Antonia were stood by the door - they'd need to be quickly gone to find out as much as they could about the other teams when the game began, and lay the groundwork for whatever deals they could strike with the other teams in the future. The remaining six of us went through the rounded door into the engineering room, which was really something else.\n\nIt was a tall, triangular space partitioned into three sections, one for each Proxy. Crates of materials and spare parts were stacked up around each one, very tidily at this point but I assumed that wouldn't last long. Those materials would have to last us until the end of the tournament - unless we could secure some from trades with other teams.\n\nAnd then there were the Proxies themselves, mounted against the walls in Vitruvian Man style pose for easy access to the limbs. I quickly spotted mine, which had now been painted to match my own jumpsuit colouring - the majority of the humanoid figure was a dark green, but the joints and joins between the armour plates were lined with blue. I'd opted for a fairly human-looking head shape - though with the exception of the round, pale blue lenses of the eyes, there was no need for other facial features. I'd had a jaw etched in for looks though, and seeing the final finished product I was reminded a little of shark teeth painted on the nose of a plane, which made sense, because Blaise was my primary engineer. Otherwise I'd kept things fairly simple - standard armour plating, five fingers, toes - sticking very much to my strengths in what I'd been learning all this time.\n\nBlaise kicked the foot of the taller Proxy and leaned against it's side, picking up a physical display to look at, "Final product looks good, paint job looks well! Gimmick's installed nicely too, exactly to specifications. Anode, how are you doing over there?"\n\nAnode gave a thumbs up from where she stood next to Tungsten's Proxy. Tungsten had followed Gatecrash's advice and stuck with a humanoid joint configuration too, though his was a lighter configuration than my own, with less armour plating. Green and silver highlights covered the body, and I could see a tiny bow-tie that had been painted on just below the neck. Otherwise the angles of his Proxy were much sharper, parts reminiscent of some of Anode's body design. The head was a largely triangular shape which made me think of a dinosaur, with a large, singular green orb which glowed brilliantly bright in the centre of the head. The hands and feet matched Tungsten's own - two thumbs on each hand, and the claw-like feet which made a distinctive tapping sound on hard surfaces as he walked.\n\n"Ready to go as we'll ever be!" said Anode, "Though I wish we had time for last minute adjustments. Probably pushing our luck if we were to try, right?"\n\nTungsten patted her on the upper shoulder, "It looks fine as is. Brilliant, in fact. Gatecrash and Sasha?"\n\nIn contrast to Tungsten's, Gatecrash's Proxy leaned more in the direction of heavier armour, though if I hadn't been learning what to look for in practice, I'd have completely missed the signs. The lithe-looking, slightly taller form of the Proxy was using layered armour around the joints, and heavier plating lined the knuckles (six digits there), forearms, and feet (normal with toes, similar to my own Proxy). The armour looked almost medieval-like in areas. There was a red-and-white tie-dyed patterned patch on each of the Proxy's upper arms, almost perfectly matching Gatecrash's bandana. There was less green visible on Gatecrash's Proxy, as large segmented plates were left their default dark grey. The Proxy had a large partially transparent dark red visor which stretched around the entire head. I could see machinery moving around on the inside, and small lights that occasionally blinked on the inside of the rounded skull.\n\n"We are good. Many moving parts. Was worried about replication error, but is good work," came Sasha's reply.\n\nNext to each Proxy was a large, wall-mounted telescoping arm, which would allow the Engineers to quickly access and move parts during their maintenance. But in comparison to the machinery I'd seen in the *Peeping Tom's* fabrication room, this was a lot more rudimentary. The restrictions placed on the Engineers really limited what they would be able to fix.\n\nI looked around once again, "Obvious question time," I said, "How do they get the Proxies out of here? The door isn't large enough to let them through, well, not standing up anyway."\n\nBlaise didn't take his eyes off the display in his hands, but pointed with one arm at my Proxy's toes. "The floor retracts here - then I think there's tunnels where they'll be moved to the arenas. At least I hope so! Wouldn't want you to have to avoid the other teams in the corridors on your way to a round!"\n\nI nodded, "I'm going to go check if the others are alright - I'd like to join them as we discussed for the first while. I'll be back before we leave for the first round?"\n\n"Sounds good mate, enjoy!" said Blaise.\n\nThe first round of the tournament was a bit unique in that on subsequent rounds, we'd usually be discussing strategy or helping the Engineers (in my case, I'd probably be handing things to Blaise, and that was the extend of my knowledge). But with no information to go on and the Proxies in perfect condition, I could actually accompany the Ambassadors for once - which I'd been looking forward to, as it would be a good way to get familiar with how they gathered information in practice. The three of them were still stood by the door, Antonia bouncing on her feet slightly in excitement.\n\n"Still tagging along?" said Sarkona, "Remember what we discussed - play the strong and silent type, aura of mysteriousness, let us do the talking. Might help us deal with some of the more serious groups."\n\nI'd been practicing my serious face for a while in preparation for this, and relaxed my features and folded my arms.\n\n"Perfect!" said Sarkona, "Now we just need to sell the myth that before a thousand years under the ice, you were a warrior-lecturer who spent their life mastering the martial arts."\n\n"Oooh," said Antonia, joining in, "And some of the techniques you mastered have long-since been lost to time... or hidden away by the Multispheres." As she moved to punch me gently on the arm, I mocked a fancy interception, and she laughed.\n\nAlexandra scoffed and shook her head a little, "If that technique ever worked on anyone, I think I'd quit out of protest at the sheer stupidity."\n\n"As you should," said Sarkona, giving me a wink, "Can we go over the plan one more time before we start?"\n\n"Yes, it is fairly simple," explained Alexandra, straightening her suit jacket with one hand, "Sarkona splits off to begin with, see if they can see what's going on with the arenas, and meets as many people as possible. The rest of us stick together - with our silent pilot to draw some attention. In negotiations we should be fairly truthful - though we should bend the truth slightly if we think the situation calls for it. Remember that lying outright might get us a momentary advantage but will sour relationships in the future, so we should only do it in later rounds. Clear?"\n\n"Yes," said Sarkona and Antonia simultaneously. I nodded and mimed zipping my lips shut. This was Alexandra's domain, and I had no intention of intruding.\n\nA few moments later, a chime rang out over our team's space. Whoever owned it had clearly been practicing their commentating voice.\n\n*"Gooood day contestants! It's a beautiful sunny morning here in the southern hemisphere, and may I give you all a very warm welcome to this Resiliency Tournament! Given that you're all newcomers today, we really hope that you're going to have a great time and learn what a thrill Resiliency can be to play! We're about to get started with our first break period - Ambassadors, you will have thirty-five minutes to get out there and speak with the other teams! We ask that all teams be back in their team areas at that time, which is when the first matches will be played. Your first opponent will be displayed upon the wall of your team area. Have fun!"*\n\nThe chime rang out again, and I looked over my shoulder to where text was fading into view on the wall.\n\n*MATCH 1: OVERGROWN WITH MOSS VS NIMBLE POINDEXTERS*\n\nSarkona sprinted out of the door, with the rest of us not far behind.\n\n_ \n\nPart 97 (Coming soon!)
## 25 Has anybody else been ghosted by their LO?\nIf so did it improve or worsen your limerence?\nI had been having good conversations with mine (always me texting first) but as soon as I ask him to hangout ...no reply!
## 26 I (20sF) went to an outdoors EDM concert with a friend (20sM) of mine a few years ago; it was my first time.\n\nI was very excited to go, but due to the nature of these concerts (drugs, etc.) and because it was my first time, I asked that my friend not leave me alone during the concert. I didn't have any drinks or drugs because I wanted to be in full control of myself (due to previous 'incidents'). The concert was in a different town so we took a sort of party bus that was going to the concert; there were some other people on the bus who were doing party drugs.\n\nAbout 1.5 hours in (introductory acts were going on) my friend left to get a drink and joined the other group of people (the ones who had been doing drugs), who were a bit more animated than I was.\n\nI texted my friend to ask if they were coming back but they said they liked it where they were and that I could come join. I didn't end up joining them; I saw my friend dancing with one of the girls from the group and she was on his shoulders at one point.\n\n2 hours later, I saw that my friend had completely disappeared from the venue so I went to search for them. I texted them and they texted back, apologizing that they were on the phone and I saw they were on a very long phone call.\n\nAfter the concert, my friend rejoined me to go back to our city.\n\nI was pretty upset that my friend had left me alone for the concert, although I know I wasn't as fun as the other group to hang out with. I felt hurt that my friend left me alone after I asked them not to. I understand that the other group might be more fun, but my friend could have at least proactively communicated that he wanted to join their group, or check in with me once in a while rather than completely disappearing, etc. Did I overreact?
## 27 From my first day of widowhood, I\031ve been keen to note my good fortune in having a friend like Dan. In fact, there\031s no other friend like him. \n\n\n \nIt\031s hard to explain, even to the ones closest to us, how connected we are and have been all our adult lives. We met in a most peculiar way; in the wake of a natural disaster where we were assigned to one another in a \034buddy system\035. He had just arrived in the states then and was as lost as a soul could be, so I looked after him for a while. Who knew the buddy thing would stick so well.\n\n\n \nDan is an odd duck and he\031d say the same of me. For the full power of our friendship, we still argue all the time, or \034bicker\035, as Suzanne put it. \034*Like a couple of old hens fighting over the last packet of Splenda*\035, she once described us. In fact we have very little in common, Dan and me, and as a result of that we tend to get on each other\031s nerves. But every time we do, it\031s always in good-sport. What towers above our differences is our mutual admiration. Love, in fact. Yeah, I love him awful. \n\n\n \nI think any good relationship is sustained by useful triggers which occur when we\031re not expecting them. Perhaps by design, these little inspirations help remind us why someone matters, while validating that we matter to them. I\031m overloaded with such triggers tonight and I just wanted to tell someone.\n\n\n \nDan, Jackie and their boys are away this week, visiting Jackie\031s family. Tonight, I got a call from him asking me to go to his house, find a document he\031d forgotten, scan it and then send it to him. I just finished my day and was settled in my sweats and socks in the moment he called. \034*You\031re such a pain in the ass*\035, I told him. But of course I would go.\n\n\n \nDan\031s house is about 10 minutes from mine. We\031re both so at home at each other\031s houses that the structures are basically interchangeable. His garage opener is programmed into my car and so I would go in through the inside door. As I turned the knob, I instinctively kneed the door at the same time and wondered again when he might fix it. \n\n\n\nThe house felt strange, being as quiet as it was. I grabbed a soda from the fridge and as I was standing there at the island in his kitchen, I suddenly saw Suzanne. Not like her ghost or anything, just a memory, but it was particularly rich. \n\n\n\nBless her heart; my wife was a lousy cook. She took a lot of teasing over that. Dan is, by hobby, a gourmet chef and the memory was of a night when he was trying to teach her how to make one of his famous dishes. Any time the two were together, it was a comedy.\n\n\n\nAs an Australian, Dan hasn\031t shaken the accent altogether, or the quirky expressions that he packed and carried with him from a New South Wales upbringing. Suzanne learned them all and used them often, though \034Crikey\035 was her absolute favorite, even though I can\031t remember Dan ever saying it himself. \n\n\n\nShe and Dan lived to tease each other and on the night in my memory, I was sitting right where I was standing tonight, at the island in his kitchen, with a glass of wine watching them. Dan assigned her a cutting board and knife, telling her to \034Julian a pepper\035. Suzanne put the knife down in favor of a much larger one, saying, \034Dat\031s nought-a noyf\035 waving the larger one at him, saying, \034DAT\031s a noyf!\035 It was always like that between them. \n\n\n\nShe loved Dan and he loved her back. For Suzanne, Dan was the brother she never had.\n\n\n\nOff the kitchen is their family room and it\031s lousy with pictures - they\031re everywhere. I know most of the faces; over the years I\031ve met most of their families. The rest I know too well, my sons, Suzanne and me. In fact, as in my house, if you didn\031t know better, you\031d swear we were related for how often we appear in images on walls and mantles in each other\031s homes. For all the pictures, there\031s one I like the best. It\031s a series of pictures actually, Suzanne took them herself. She had them matted together in a long display to give to both of us. The first frame is of me and Dan sitting on a post fence; it was when we were vacationing together in Maine years ago, BC (before children). The second frame is of Dan losing his balance. The third is of Dan\031s feet in the air, and I\031ve got my head back, laughing. The fourth is of Dan pulling me down with him and the last one is of the empty fence. I have the same one in my study and I see it every day (I just looked over at it as I type this) and it still makes me laugh. \n\n\n\nI went into his office to send the file and it\031s like another world in there. Dan\031s office is purely his. The rest of the house has Jackie\031s touch, littered by their boys, but the office is all his. He\031s got his cars and man-toys all over the place, some displayed on the shelves we built together some years back (another funny memory).\n\n\n \nFinding the file was easy enough. For all Dan\031s foibles, the man is organized. Once the file was found, scanned and sent, I returned the folder to the drawer. That\031s when I noticed files named \034Mack\035 (me) and another, \034Suzanne\031s stuff\035. I admit to being curious, but I would leave them be. \n\n\n \nAfter the accident, Dan took care of so many things; I still don\031t know the extent of it all. He doesn\031t mention it. In those days, I was in the hospital with Zach 24/7 and didn\031t really care about what business needed attention. He took over and handled everything. Anyway, I\031m sure that\031s what those folders were.\n\n\n \nSitting there, I thought about everything he\031s done. He\031s the first one I called that night, and he\031s been there since and in every way possible. He takes care of PJ on Zach\031s physical therapy days; he spends time with my sons when he senses I need a minute and then with me when he senses I don\031t. And every time he\031s at the house, though he doesn\031t think I notice, he does an inventory to be sure we\031ve got everything we need. \n\n\n \nThe useful triggers were swirling in my head and I was feeling grateful for my friend. Sitting at his desk, I remembered a couple of months back when I was in his office, just as I was tonight, and saw the book laying near the keyboard. It was \034The Widower\031s Journey\035; a how-to book on helping someone through loss. I never told him I saw it.\n\n\n \nI think there\031s a natural sense of doubt that comes with losing a partner and I know there were moments when I doubted nearly everything; faith and family not excluded. Dan was never in question.\n\n\n\nWith my mission complete, I locked the doors behind me to head home. I was backing out of his driveway when he sent me a text \023 \034TY, pal\035, confirming that he\031d gotten the file. \n\n\n \nI stopped the car to read him and then paused a moment to reply. I wanted him to know how much I appreciate him, but wasn\031t sure how to put it. I knew he wouldn\031t understand anyway \023 he wasn\031t in my head at the moment. So I just typed, \034Love you, man.\035\n\n\n \nThere was a brief pause before he texted back& \034Leave my liquor alone!\035\n\n\n\nI know how lucky I am. I wish everyone reading this was as lucky as me.
## 28 For context I am Cree/ Native and I live a community called Mistissini Quebec. I\031m a police officer and I have been in the force for roughly 10-11years, so being a member of the eenou eeyou police force you can go to other communities that under the grand council of the Crees. \n\nThis story takes place on my first year being on the force, I was 19 at the time and I was stationed at another community called waswanipi. Waswanipi is kinda in a swampy area and it was a summer night we\031ve revived a call from a bar that\031s about 30-40 minutes away from waswanipi, the bar is on a side of road and is in a& I won\031t say a little town but like a little area where people lived that work at a mine nearby. So it was my partner and I responded to call and drove for about 15-20 minutes, I was the one driving the car and had headlights at high beam, as we are driving we both spot something laying on the middle of the road and this thing was big at first I thought it was a moose, (it\031s not uncommon to see moose lay on road because of the heat and mosquitoes they tend to lay on the road to try and cool off.) \n\ni start breaking the car to slow done so hard that tires screeched and what ever that was laying there got up so quick and this thing was towering over our car (we are usually equipped with Tahoe\031s and suburbans, these are big SUVs) and I\031m not sure if it was because our lights but it look like this thing had a red eyes looking down at us, I\031ve never felt so scared in my life when I saw it\031s eyes but the thing roared at us and ran away and it was fast. My partner was paralyzed with fear when Im telling him to call backup, so I had to call it in myself and I remember trying to explain to dispatch about what we encountered without sounding crazy but after about 15 minutes our backup arrived we checked out where the thing ran to and honestly even with backup I didn\031t feel safe because that thing was huge and we had glocks( pistols don\031t do shit to bears) now you can imagine how I felt with pistol knowing that this gun can\031t bring down a bear on its own and this thing was bigger than a bear and a moose. We walk couple meters away to investigate what we encountered, after a few meters we saw this thing knocked down trees, we decided to walk back to cars and you could tell every single one of us was shaken up and I swear walking back to the cars I hear knocking on the trees, after getting back to cars I thought to myself if we had continued following the trail this thing was leaving behind what would happen to us if we encountered it again. A few days later people reported sightings of it from waswanipi to senneterre. In conclusion I strongly believe I saw a Bigfoot that night.\n\nSide Story: So when I was younger, I stayed my grandparents and my grandfather had a friend who can over to visit us. He told me a folk tale or a myth whatever you like to call it, he told me that apparently back before the colonial days, bigfoots were common and that they would attack native camps and they would take children. But apparently every native tribe would come together and have a war with the bigfoots, and they keep it a secret when the colonizers came,that\031s why there\031s far more less sightings apparently. Now I\031m not sure if he was telling the truth or trying to scare me but it kind of makes sense well the less sightings part but that\031s just me. Sorry for the long text =\002
## 29 A new working paper by [Daron Acemoglu, Alex He and Daniel le Maire](https://www.nber.org/papers/w29874), finds **those with MBAs increase returns on assets in the five years after their appointment. But that is not because they boost sales, ratchet up investments or raise productivity. Rather, the higher returns are the result of suppressing workers\031 wages.**\n\nMBAs managers seem to see workers as \034costs to be reduced\035 rather than an investment in human capital.\n\nNOTE: Most of the text is not mine, is from [The Economist](https://www.economist.com/business/2022/04/09/how-mba-wielding-bosses-boost-profits), I am only copying the main points and linking the original paper and article.
## 30 I am mainly writing this to get it off my chest, but also looking for help. I don't think I was ever in any danger, but I've been thinking about this a lot recently and want to hear the thoughts of The Experts. Maybe you guys can give me an explanation. I've been stalking reddit without an account for a while now, but I'm finally making one because of this. I just need to tell someone, anyone who can remember it, since I think it's only lost if I tell it over word of mouth.\n\nThere's a bit of context I need to give, so buckle in. If I cant keep it short, I'll try to keep it entertaining.\n\nPre pandemic, I used to work at a museum, the Museum of Discovery and Science in south Florida. Look it up, it's a pretty cool place. I loved it growing up. Ever see an otter up close? Pet a baby alligator? Stand in the mouth of a scale model of a Megalodon? Ride in a flight simulator? Watch an enormous mechanical clock powered by gravity and giant marbles tick away the minutes in the day? This place has it, and it's as cool as it sounds. I even had a birthday party there when I was a little kid, you get to do science experiments. And I'll admit, even after everything that's happened, I still love it.\n\nBut when I was in high school and needed volunteer hours, my mom insisted I go for the gold cord. So while I worked at my dad's synagogue and helped teach kids Hebrew, I eventually applied at MODS in my sophomore year and got a good portion of my hours working there on the weekends.\n\nWork was pretty good. The uniform was ugly as sin on me, that blue polo made me look like a tee-ball post and khakis did nothing to make my ass look good, but it was comfy so I didn't care. I worked in the party room, assisting in running birthday parties or special events. I'd arrive before the place opened and go to the team meeting, they'd give all of us a schedule and send us off. If you were in birthday parties, you and one other person would prepare the party room, set up the science experiment the kids would do, and then help pass out food. Once the party was over, you'd eat the leftovers with your coworker, clean up, and prepare for the next one. Because there were almost always more than one.\n\nAnd I loved working in those parties. Even though it was hard work, I hardly had time to take a break or eat a balanced meal between parties, and sometimes ended up leaving work really late, I got to work with kids (which I love) and was *never* bored. And sometimes you'd get tips, which made up for the fact I was still just a volunteer and had no money. But it was in these birthday parties where I first saw that girl.\n\nIt was actually my coworker who saw her and pointed her out to me. I really should mention my co-worker, shouldn't I? The person I almost always ended up working was was a gal I'll call Mels, not her real name but safety and privacy and all that. 4'11 girl with short black hair, a sharp tongue and strong voice. She was younger than me, I was 18 when she was 16, but she was technically my boss because she had the certification to run parties and I was her assistant. But we were really good friends, she'd play Spanish rap or Disney music over the party room speakers while we set up and we'd rock out to the music together. We both loved spicy food, marine life, and biking. Both of our schools had early childcare classes that we took, and we both were trying to get our CDAs in those classes. We basically became best work friends.\n\nBut another thing we shared was an insanely keen eye. Whenever something was missing or a child got lost, we were the ones they called, we'd find it in a snap. We were the record holders for the informal Timed Where's Waldo contest my other co-worker Trav had hosted during break. And in our own families, we were the ones called whenever something was lost. Nothing ever got past us.\n\nIt was the second out of three parties we had to do that day, and while I was precariously balancing the last few plates of pizza on my arms to bring to a group of ravenous toddlers, she tapped my arm and nodded to a child playing with the dino dig pit we'd built that morning. A little girl kneeling over it and throwing the rubber sand all over the party room floor. At the time I wasn't sure why, but I got a huge hit of deja vu.\n\n"Wasn't she at the last party?" Mels whispered in my ear, a challenge for her since I was nearly a foot taller and she had to stand on her toes.\n\n"Hold on, I can't see shit right now." I whispered back. Which was true, I'm blind as hell without my glasses, but I'd forgotten them at home that morning because I'm dumb as rocks. I brought the kids their food, but made sure to pass the girl that had been pointed out. And Mels had a point, the kid was really familiar. A little girl no older than five, white, brown pigtails tied with lime green bows, matching green dress, cute chubby cheeks. The green bows were especially familiar, such a weird color. Same exact color as a lime. Reconvening with Mels in the corner of the room by a window, she looked up at me.\n\n"She was at the last party, right?" she asked. "I'm not going crazy, right?" I shook my head.\n\n"No, I think you're right. Those bows. Definitely seen them before." I said. "I remember seeing them standing out against the blue tablecloths last party."\n\n"Yeah, same." Mels looked back to the kid. "Think she snuck in?"\n\n"We could ask the birthday boy's mom, see what's up."\n\n"Maybe. You ask though, she was kinda bitchy to me earlier. I'll sweep up the sand."\n\n"Alright." While Mels went to get the broom, I put on my Customer Service Smile and approached the mother of the birthday boy, clasping my hands behind my back. The woman looked up to me, her eyes glancing to my nametag for a moment, and smiled back.\n\n"Hi, Henrietta. You and your friend did a great job, Joey is having a great time." she said. Seems that now that the party had started, she had lost that edge she'd had in the morning. I nodded politely, as I always did.\n\n"Thank you, ma'am. Mels and I did our best. But you can call me Hatta if you want, less of a mouthful." I said. (Not my actual name, but I do have a weird name that I often go by a goofy shortened version of. So it works.) "But I just had a quick question?" Standing next to the mother, I pointed to the girl with the green bows, who we both saw throw a handful of rubber sand at Mels as she tried to sweep. The mother frowned.\n\n"Oh, is she being rowdy? I'm sorry, I'll talk to her if you need."\n\n"That wasn't- well, that would be appreciated, she is making a mess." I admitted. "But I swear I thought I saw her at the party in the morning, so I was wondering if you knew her. Just making sure she didn't sneak in."\n\n"Oh, I see. Yeah, we know her." the mother assured me. "She's in Joey's karate class, her name is Rosemary."\n\n"Okay, good. Thank you for clarifying, ma'am."\n\n"No problem. I'll go tell her to stop making a mess."\n\n"Thank you, ma'am." Watching the woman walk towards the girl, Rosemary, I returned to my usual spot in the corner by the window. While the mother scolded Rosemary, Mels managed to finish sweeping and joined me in the corner. Food had been passed out, kids were playing and eating, we didn't have anything to do until the pizza was gone and we had to start passing out cake. Mels sighed, then punched me in the rib.\n\n"Thanks for the help, Hatta." she said, chuckling.\n\n"You only said I had to talk to the mom. Not help sweep after. And I do exactly what you tell me to do."\n\n"You suck." She rolled her eyes. "But it seems the kid isn't a stowaway?"\n\n"Nah, friend of Joey's. Though who in the modern day names their daughter Rosemary?"\n\n"Who in the modern day names their daughter Henrietta?"\n\n"Shut the fuck up."\n\nThe rest of the party passed pretty uneventfully. Mels and I came to the conclusion that Rosemary had arrived early at the museum and had snuck into the first party before attending the one she was actually supposed to be at. And as the attendees trailed out, I watched Rosemary leave the party room with them, tagging behind the birthday boy and giggling. Mels and I proceeded to wolf down all the leftover pizza before taking all the decorations down and redoing the room for the third and final party. I remember as I was carrying the tank of liquid nitrogen for the nitrogen ice cream performance out of the storage closet, I caught a glimpse out the window of Rosemary and some of the other kids running around like maniacs in the parking lot. I paid it little mind, and just as Mels and I were finishing up the room for the final party, the door opened and in walked a mother, a father, and a son. The party was finally getting started. But as we were getting the last few ingredients from the fridge, I turned around to see another child had arrived, and was hiding under a table with the birthday boy. A little girl with a green dress and pigtails done up with green bows.\n\nMels and I gave each other a look. The only parents in the room were the birthday boy's, who's name I think was Do-yun. I took it upon myself to resolve the issue. While Mels spoke to the parents, explaining how the science experiment would go, I approached the kids and crouched down, giving them a smile. I made sure to address them both, but also put extra focus on the birthday boy.\n\n"Hey guys! Welcome to the museum, I'll be helping you have the most awesome birthday ever." I declared. The two children cheered with joy, and I clapped my hands together. "So, my name is Hatta, what're your names?" As I hoped, the boy spoke up.\n\n"I'm Do-yun, and this is my bestest friend Rose."\n\n"Your bestest friend? Wow, I wish I had a bestest friend. How long have you known each other?"\n\n"She's in- in school with me. In my class with me."\n\nBingo. Rose was, in fact, supposed to be here. Though where her parents were, I was still unsure.\n\n"Well, Do-yun, Rose, this party is gonna be the awesomest party ever, wanna know why?" I asked. The two nodded quickly. I leaned in, whispering. "Because we're gonna use science to make ice cream!" The kids screamed happily, as children tend to do, and as I stood up again, they took off, running around the party room like little feral animals. As children tend to do.\n\nBut despite how weird this whole thing with Rosemary was, Mels and I still had a job to do. While I passed out pizza, I informed Mels of my findings. And as it turns out, she'd made some findings as well. She'd videoed part of the first party of the day on her phone, for a ten year old girl named Sophie. She'd sent them all to Sophie's mother, but as she was going through them to delete from her gallery, she noticed something. In several clips, Sophie could be seen carrying none other than Rosemary around the room on a piggy back ride. As we watched the clip together, she didn't need to tell me her interpretation for me to get it. I scratched my collar, shrugging.\n\n"Small world, y'know?" I said, though I lacked sureness in my voice. Mels crossed her arms.\n\n"Three parties, Hatta? One kid invited to three parties? All on the same day?" I threw my hands up.\n\n"What do you want from me? I don't know what the deal is, its the only thing that makes any sense." Mels was very clearly shaken, and I sighed. "Look, I know it's weird, but we don't have answers here. Let's just run this fucking party, hopefully get our tips, and go home."\n\n"Fine, whatever." Mels grabbed her safety gloves and walked to the table where the liquid nitrogen ice cream experiment had been set up. I just sighed, grabbed my gloves as well, and followed her.\n\nThe final party went as smoothly as the two before it. And the ice cream Mels and I made for the kids was especially delicious that day. But by the time we were just starting to clean up, it was a quarter after five and the museum had been closed for fifteen minutes by then. As the guests were leaving the building, I made sure to watch and see who went out to the parking lot. And just like before, I saw Rosemary running around down there with the others. But this time, I didn't look away so quickly. I wanted to see what car she got into, as I hadn't been able to figure out who her parents were.\n\n"Henrietta, a little help?"\n\nI turned to see Mels had flipped the experiment table and was struggling to fold the legs in.\n\n"Gimme a sec." I looked back out the window. Rosemary was nowhere to be seen. I could see dozens of kids climbing into the backseats of their respective cars, but it seemed Rose had done so in the split second I'd been looking away. *Damnit.*\n\nThe museum closed at 5, Mels and I weren't out of the party room until 6 and my dad had been waiting outside for the last thirty minutes. Only a handful of people were left in the building, mostly the big guys who ran the place and people in the IMAX theatre, but the employee only room where I kept my backpack was completely dark and completely empty. At least, it should have been. As I jogged down the dark hallway after grabbing my stuff, music blasting through my earbuds and the only source of light being from my phone flashlight, I rounded a corner and skidded to a stop.\n\nIn the dark hall, illuminated by the light of my phone, I saw a little girl, green hair bows vibrant. Rosemary looked up at me with wide brown eyes, and smiled, toddling up to me. And for the first time in my life, I backed away from a small child.\n\n"Hatta!" she declared, hugging my leg. I froze in place. I could feel how cold she was through my pants. My heart pounded in my chest. What the fuck was she doing here? We'd been closed for an hour, I saw her leave. For some reason, I felt the cold grip of terror take hold of me. Nonetheless, I kept my cool. I hit the button on my earbuds, pausing the song.\n\n"You're Rose, right?" I managed to say despite the vice of fear in my chest. *She's just a little girl, she's totally harmless. I could punt her if I wanted. I don't, but I could.* Rosemary nodded.\n\n"Yeah! Where is this place?" Still hugging my leg, Rose looked around. "It's cool."\n\n"This is where Mels and I keep our stuff while we're working." I said. When Rose disengaged from my leg, I couldn't help but feel a wave of relief. "How did you get back here?"\n\n"I dunno, I just..." Rose proceeded to go into that mumbling, nonsensical ramble that toddlers sometimes go on, and while I had no idea what she was saying, I nodded like I knew exactly what she was saying.\n\n"I see. Well, do you know where your parents are?"\n\n"I dunno. Still looking for them."\n\n"How about this, kiddo?" I kneeled down, putting a hand on her shoulder. Her face was illuminated by my phone light, and I saw her big brown eyes looking into mine curiously. "My daddy is waiting for me, so I can't hang around for long. But I got some friends downstairs who can help you. They'll help you find your mommy or daddy. They got a phone and they'll make some calls for you. How does that sound?" Rosemary looked disappointed, but took my hand as I held it out to her, nodding slowly.\n\n"Okay."\n\nTrying to ignore how clammy her hand was, I escorted her downstairs and left her with the dude who worked the ticket office of the IMAX theater before booking it to the parking lot where my dad was still sitting in his van. He was annoyed, but I explained what the holdup was and he understood. We went home, and I told him about the events of the day in the car, and he agreed that it all was very weird. He told me to text Mels, which I did, and once I assured her that I was okay, she calmed down. My account of what happened in the back room really freaked her out.\n\nThough once I was home, I only thought about Rosemary for a few days before moving along with my week as normal. It wasn't until the next weekend did I remember her again. And after I saw her again, I couldn't stop thinking about her.\n\nI won't bore you with the details of every singe event, but Mels and I worked birthdays for six more weeks straight, two or three parties a day. And we saw Rose at every. Single. One. Every time we asked the parents, they said Rose was supposed to be there. And on the few times we ended up leaving late due to a party running long, we always found Rose wandering around in the employee only area, saying she'd gotten lost and making us take her to the front desk. But one of the weirdest parts was I was never sure if she remembered us or not. If we asked, she always spoke really vaguely, or did that Toddler Mumble Talk.\n\nI could see the way this was affecting Mels. She was quickly coming apart before my very eyes. I sat with her while she cried in between parties. And while I wasn't qualified to run parties, I led the science experiments a few times for her so she could sit in the back of the room and calm down. And I won't lie, I was starting to freak out as well, though as the master of Bottling Shit Up, I put on a brave face. Every time I saw this kid, I started to get this deep, visceral fear. I started to dread going into work, but I knew mom would be disappointed if I didn't get that gold cord for graduation, plus the tips were really good. So I bit my tongue and toughed it out.\n\nBut after the six weeks straight of parties, Mels and I were put on a different project for a day. We were assigned to help clean an airplane engine that had been on display for a few years, old girl had gotten filthy. We spent the day sweating in a garage and scrubbing dirt and oil of the thing, and we had a lot of time to talk. And for the first time in a few weeks, neither of us felt strained to the point of snapping. But of course, our conversation eventually turned to the subject of Rose.\n\n"I'm thinking about quitting." Mels said. I nodded in agreement.\n\n"Same. Once I get my gold cord hours, I'm fucking gone."\n\n"Yeah." We worked in silence for a while, until Mels spoke again. "She stares at you a lot."\n\n"What?"\n\n"Like whenever she shows up, she stares at you more. Or when she wanders into the back rooms, she always hugs you first, remember?"\n\n"Shit." I didn't know what to say. The subject changed quickly, neither of us wanted to talk about her, especially not on a day when we were finally free of her. But as it turned out, that day ended up being our last day working there.\n\nThe pandemic hit Florida, and the museum and our respective schools closed down for safety reasons. But Mels and I stayed in contact. And the moment that we were out of work and not seeing Rosemary every week, it was like Mels was a whole different person. Back to the headstrong, sassy, happy kid I knew. And for the last two years, we've stayed in contact. She is one of my best friends. We hardly even think about Rosemary anymore.\n\nUntil recently.\n\nI'm 20 now. Mels is 18. We both have our CDAs and graduated high school. I managed to get my gold cord by combining my Hebrew school and museum hours. Both of us are going to college, but still living at home due to the state of things. My mom is a preschool music teacher and got me a job working aftercare at the school she teaches at. And a few weeks ago, she brought me in to get fingerprinted on site and met my co-workers. But while I was there, I also got the chance to meet some of the kids I'd be watching over in the aftercare program. And as it turned out, they recently got a new student.\n\nLittle Rosemary, clad in a green dress and green bows in her hair. A little rowdy, but otherwise a delight to teach. And when I was introduced to the students, she gave me a big, happy grin, and hugged my leg without hesitation. And I know this may make me sound especially crazy, but her eyes seemed to be more green than before. Almost hazel, like mine. And her hug wasn't as cold as I remembered.\n\nI'm supposed to start next week. I really need the money, I want to move out sooner than later, and my family is great but my mom really wants me to get a job and use my CDA. But all the fear that I'd felt during my weeks at the museum is rushing back and the thought of going to work is making me nauseous. But I also love working with children, it's one of my dream careers. I just don't know what to do. I told my mom, and she said Rose has been attending for a little while before I got formally hired.\n\nI asked dad and mom and brother if they remembered Rosemary from the museum, and they said it sounded vaguely familiar, but didn't remember clearly and are telling me it's nothing I should worry about. And while ADHD and autism and learning disorders do run in my family, we all have shit memory, I feel like they should remember or even care more considering how freaked out they saw I was two years ago, and how every weekend for six weeks I texted them "she's here." I even asked Trav, who I am completely sure I'd told about Rose few times, and he has no recollection of those discussions. Right now, it feels like the only people who remember what was really happening with Rosemary are me and Mels.\n\nSpeaking of her, she's having freak-out because she's worried sick about me starting this new job. She's telling me to quit, but I don't know if my situation allows. She's terrified to get a job now.\n\nIf anyone can give me advice, I would appreciate the hell out of it. I'll update you all on what happens, but please, if anyone can tell us what to do, it would be greatly appreciated to say the least. Mels and I are kinda fucking losing it over here.
## 31 Hi, please help me. I am renting a room with a landlord and I pay monthly rent for the room. I work a very tiring job and usually come home (around 4pm) tired and sleep after I eat lunch. I stay in my room 90% of the time. I heard my landlord gossiping about me to her husband laughing and saying how I sleep so much and he was replying \034wow holy smokes\035. I am a female and felt so uncomfortable about their comments! I dont bother them or anything, I just stay in my lane. I have also texted my landlord the other day if she could please move her car so I could get mine out. She flipped out saying how we lacked communication and that I should ask her in PERSON! Then overheard her talking about me to her husband saying how I texted her instead of coming to ask her to move the car. \nI just feel very upset about this. Am I exaggerating? Please give me your opinion.\n\nThanks
## 32 \v\n\nA while back I ran across a post were someone mentioned that the slash command MACROSLOT allowed them to create macros that created other macros. I haven't had a use for that personally, but it stuck in my head anyway. I wondered, if a macro could create another macro, then maybe there is a way for a macro to replace itself?! Guess what? I did it. Introducing... Toggle Macros! \n\nToggle Macros are macros that replace themselves with a different macro when you click them. These macros can toggle back and forth between 2 macros or cycle through many different macros using the same button in the same power tray slot. This technique utilizes a previous discovery of mine that laid out how to [store and load multiple macros from a text file](https://forums.homecomingservers.com/topic/13380-transfer-macros-between-toons-effortlessly-a-how-to-guide/). Similar to text binds, Toggle Macros use text files to load different commands onto a button in the same power tray slot. This allows us to click on a single button multiple times and have it do a different thing on each click. You can even change the name of the macro button when clicked, and also change the icon for the button using the MACRO\\_IMAGE command. Simply put, it brings the versatility of text binds to macro buttons. \n\nThere are many, many uses for Toggle Macros. In the example below, I use a Toggle Macro to make a single button change my costume and activate Fly on the first click, and then on the second click change my costume back and turn off Fly. \n\nThe basic syntax and commands used to accomplish this are:\n\n MACRO$$MACROSLOT <macro-slot#> "<macro name>" "<command(s)>$$BINDLOADFILE <file path><text file name>"\n\nIf you haven't used the MACROSLOT command before, the macro-slot # is determined by counting in sequence from 0 starting on slot 1 of power tray 1, to 89 for slot 10 of power tray 9. For example, slot 10 of tray 1 is macro-slot # 9, slot 1 of tray 2 is macro-slot # 10, and slot 1 of tray 3 is macro-slot # 20.\n\nSTEP #1 - CREATE YOUR TEXT FILES\n\nSTEP #2 - CREATE THE MACRO USING THE COMMANDS FOUND IN THE FIRST TEXT FILE\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSTEP #1\n\nThe following example lists the file name and then the commands found within that text file.\n\nmFlyCC0.txt\n\n macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyON" "cc 1$$Powexec_Toggle_On Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC1.txt"\n\nmFlyCC1.txt\n\n macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyOFF" "cc 0$$Powexec_Toggle_Off Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC0.txt"\n\nSTEP #2\n\nIn game, type the commands inside the first text file into the chat box with a slash "/" at the beginning. Then press the Enter key to create the macro button.\n\n /macro$$macroslot 20 "FlyON" "cc 1$$Powexec_Toggle_On Fly$$Bind_Load_File /binds/mFlyCC1.txt"\n\nDone! You should now have a macro button named FlyON in slot 1 of power tray 3. Click it to change to costume 1 and turn on Fly. Click it again to change to costume 0 and turn off Fly. \n\nCAUTION: The MACROSLOT command will replace any power icon that is already in the designated macro-slot #. Make sure the power tray slot is empty before you create your Toggle Macro. This command will destroy any macro that you have in that macro-slot #. However, for powers it only deletes the power icon... not the actual power. You can always drag another power icon from the powers window and place it in a different power tray slot.\n\n\v
## 33 In [Part 1 of this essay](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPharmony/comments/tpomob/essay_hbp_and_the_canon_harmony_date_that_didnt/), we saw Hermione showing an interest in spending more time with Harry and getting him to come with her to Slug Club events. We also saw the two of them exchanging compliments and having interactions alone that involved blushing and smirking, all of which Ron viewed with confusion and then with outright suspicion.\n\nSeveral comments on the first part brought up the issue of authorial intent: did JKR *intend* to make Harry and Hermione look like something was going on between them? Did JKR *intend* to hint that Hermione might want something more romantic with Harry? The answer to these questions is simply *we don\031t know*. She\031s never (to my knowledge) discussed whether she might have set up Harry and Hermione as a potential \034red herring,\035 a potential plot diversion\024though she has explicitly indicated in several interviews that \034it could have gone that way,\035 that H/Hr at least *could have* worked together, and that there were \034charged moments\035 between them, particularly in DH.\n\nI personally don\031t worry too much about what JKR intended consciously, as we don\031t know. We only have the texts of the books, and as readers we are free to come up with interpretations that are *consistent with the text*. (For those who are curious, I wrote more about my philosophy on interpretation [in response to a comment on the last essay](https://www.reddit.com/r/HPharmony/comments/tpomob/comment/i2dma17/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).) I think it\031s important not to overly *distort* the text, to completely ignore parts of it to endow other parts with a selective meaning. But if we see two characters behaving differently from usual and consistently with a pattern of *possible* romantic interest, should we ignore that just because fandom decrees the endgame pairing is all that matters (or that it *couldn\031t possibly* mean that)?\n\nBefore the HBP book was released, shippers of all camps analyzed the text looking for romantic potential\024elements that indicated particular interest. I\031m not even delving into symbolic meaning in the present essay (which was a huge thing for shippers back in the day): I\031m literally just looking at what the characters say and how they act. And Harry and Hermione *are acting differently around each other* in HBP. Contrary to common perception, it\031s also not primarily negative. (Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione\031s relationship actually gets significantly *worse* for most of HBP, until after Ron\031s poisoning.)\n\nSo let\031s just run with the idea that Hermione is at least interested in spending more time with Harry (because that\031s clearly the case). And maybe let\031s allow for the *possibility* that\024after the two of them have exchanged compliments in a new way at the beginning of HBP and then had a bantery exchange\024perhaps Hermione is at least a *little* serious when she admits she likes \034*really good* Quidditch players.\035 Thus, her repeated overtures to get Harry to come with her to events might partly be to explore and deepen her friendship with him, maybe even to see where else it all goes.\n\nAs we noted in Part 1, she had made a tentative invitation to Ron to come to Slughorn\031s Christmas party in a moment of anger. But that blew up in her face, leading Harry to finally show her a little attention by encouraging her to come to a party with him, then to seek her out after she witnessed the spectacle with Ron and Lavender. (Important note: I\031m not denying that Hermione had implied *some* romantic interest in Ron at some point, but using that as the *only* explanation for everything that happens below strikes me as not only overly simplistic, but also rather unlikely given all the details.)\n\nIt\031s now Harry\031s turn to start showing interest in spending more time with *her*.\n\nLet\031s again for a moment forget the supposedly \034obvious\035 interpretations of all these events and consider the text from a fresh perspective.\n\n# 1. Library Liaisons\n\nHBP15:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Hermione\031s schedule was so full that Harry could only talk to her properly in the evenings, when Ron was, in any case, so tightly wrapped around Lavender that **he did not notice what Harry was doing**. Hermione refused to sit in the common room while Ron was there, so **Harry generally joined her in the library, which meant that their conversations were held in whispers.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWe see Harry here seeking Hermione out: following her to the library in the evenings and sharing whispered conversations with her. If Hermione previously wanted to get a little more time with Harry, she must have been thrilled to have more of his attention alone.\n\nHow long did this last? The chapter implies that it was going on at least for a few weeks since Christmas decorations went up. But it\031s quite likely it went on longer, possibly for 4-7 weeks.\n\nI don\031t want to get too bogged down in JKR\031s weird calendar issues, but the last date reference we have is the trip to Hogsmeade and the incident with Katie Bell, which happened \034halfway through October\035 (HBP12). The Herbology class where Hermione and Ron hint they may go to the Christmas party together happens only three days later. (Yes, this is securely dateable using the text: Hermione was apparently talking to Harry and Ron about a party a couple months in advance. She does indicate Slughorn is trying to schedule it around Harry\031s schedule.) Only \034a few days\035 after that pass before Harry works up to inviting Dean to take Katie\031s place (HBP14), and the match where Ron snogs Lavender afterward happens later that same week. Thus, using real-world calendar dates, the most likely date for the birds incident with Ron is probably November 2nd. If we\031re generous with the \034few days\035 lapse and Harry delaying filling Katie\031s spot, we could push it a week or two into November. Slughorn\031s party doesn\031t happen until December 20th.\n\nThus, likely for well over a month, Harry \034generally\035 joined Hermione in the evenings in the library. This is a larger chunk of time than I think readers realize, when Harry and Hermione are spending time alone having whispered conversations together. Also, note the curious wording in that passage that \034\\[Ron\\] did not notice what Harry was doing.\035 Pause and think about why that detail is included. *What* was Harry doing? It\031s not like Harry was doing wacky things in the common room that Ron was ignoring. No, the only thing Harry was doing was apparently sneaking off in the evenings to spend time alone with Hermione.\n\nWhy the connotation that Harry\031s actions were hidden from Ron here? I don\031t think Ron had any illusions that Harry wasn\031t trying to remain friends with Hermione. It\031s not like in PoA when Ron\031s belligerent exchanges seemed to pull Harry away from her too. So, again, why does the text mention that Ron didn\031t notice \034what Harry was doing\035? (Note it\031s specifically Harry here, not just a general reference that \034Ron didn\031t notice anyone else around him\035 or \034didn\031t notice anything happening around him\035 because he was preoccupied snogging\024Ron specifically doesn\031t notice *what Harry was doing*.)\n\nCould it at all be related to so many moments in HBP where Ron had acted jealous or suspicious of Harry and Hermione\031s time together, the way they are acting around each other, the way he said \034oh\035 and \034stopped short\035 upon coming into a classroom where they were alone together? I don\031t know, but it\031s yet another odd detail that slips into the wording here. A few of these things might be coincidence, but eventually you have to start to wonder if there\031s a pattern.\n\nAnd obviously H/Hr enjoy their time together sometimes too, as we get this bit a little later as they\031re leaving the library (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Harry:\\] \034It\031s not my fault she\031s barking mad, Hermione. Or d\031you think she overheard you being rude about Filch? I\031ve always thought there might be something going on between them&.\035 \n> \n>**\034Oh, ha ha&\035** \n> \n>**Enjoying the fact that they could speak normally again, they made their way along the deserted, lamp-lit corridors back to the common room, arguing about whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThey\031re laughing and joking with each other, with a kind of banter that is a bit different from what we\031ve typically seen with them before. But it\031s not surprising when they\031ve been spending so much time together lately. (Sidenote: I don\031t think this means anything, but I find it amusing that the two of them are sharing a joke about two people who may be \034secretly in love with each other,\035 particularly given the context we\031ll dive into now.)\n\nThis conversation happens on the day before Slughorn\031s party. Earlier in the library, Harry tries bringing up Ron (as he wants them all to be friends), but Hermione pointedly says she doesn\031t really care about that. Instead, she immediately shifts the conversation back to Harry, sharing her concern and telling him about the love potions other girls are apparently trying to use on him:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione:\\] \034I\031m talking about earlier. I went into the girls\031 bathroom just before I came in here and there were about a dozen girls in there, including that Romilda Vane, trying to decide how to slip you a love potion. They\031re all hoping they\031re going to get you to take them to Slughorn\031s party, and they all seem to have bought Fred and George\031s love potions, which I\031m afraid to say probably work \024\035 \n> \n>\034Why didn\031t you confiscate them then?\035 demanded Harry. **It seemed extraordinary that Hermione\031s mania for upholding rules could have abandoned her at this crucial juncture.** \n> \n>\034They didn\031t have the potions with them in the bathroom,\035 said Hermione scornfully. \034They were just discussing tactics. \\[...\\]\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHarry has a valid point here. Why is Hermione not taking further action about this? Her response doesn\031t quite explain things either: surely if it\031s against the \034rules\035 to use or possess love potions, she could have done more than just alert Harry.\n\nWhat could cause Hermione to behave in such an \034extraordinary\035 manner? Or, perhaps she *did* take some other action in reporting something (she doesn\031t say), but her warnings to Harry are still quite strong. Is there something else going on with her about all of this, something she wants to emphasize to Harry is rather dire, so he *needs* to take some action? What action specifically? Well&\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione:\\] "As I doubt whether even the *Half-Blood Prince*\035\024she gave the book another nasty look\024\034could dream up an antidote for a dozen different love potions at once, **I\031d just invite someone to go with you**, that\031ll stop all the others thinking they\031ve still got a chance. It\031s tomorrow night, they\031re getting desperate.\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHere\031s where things get particularly odd, and it brings up the main point of this essay. At this point, why wouldn\031t Harry literally say something like what he does in the movie?\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry: Well I just thought seeing as neither of us can go with who we'd really like to, we should go together. As friends. \n> \n>Hermione: Why didn't I think of that?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOr why wouldn\031t Hermione suggest that? Oh wait\024perhaps she *does*? Re-read that last passage. Who is \034getting desperate\035? Just the fangirls? Who would like to \034stop all the others thinking they\031ve still got a chance\035?\n\nIs it at least *possible* that Hermione\024the girl who hinted at least four previous times that she wanted Harry to come with her to Slug Club events, the girl who has spent the past month or more now having whispered conversations with him in the evenings\024might be again hinting (like Cho did) to this clueless boy that he could *just ask her*?\n\nUnfortunately, the clueless boy in this instance merely says this in reply:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034There isn\031t anyone I want to invite,\035 mumbled Harry \\[...\\]\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThis response makes little sense when Hermione is literally standing right in front of him. I don\031t think Harry\031s intending to insult Hermione by saying this; he\031s just so dense he\031s not even seeing it as a possibility. (Or maybe there\031s another reason he doesn\031t consider her, which we\031ll come back to.)\n\nYes, Harry\031s trying to hide his newfound interest in Ginny from Hermione here. But Hermione is the person Harry frequently goes to hang out with at parties; why would it not occur to him to just bring her as a friend? If we had some sort of internal monologue moment where Harry thinks, \034Oh, I could ask Hermione, but then maybe Ron would get angry&\035 or something, maybe we\031d have an explanation. But he doesn\031t think about this at all. And why would Ron get angry about the two of them going as friends when Harry\031s been spending so many evenings alone with Hermione\024unless Harry really *has* been sneaking out so Ron doesn\031t realize that? And is Harry conscious that Ron is feeling jealous of them? It\031s all quite weird.\n\nThe movie writers saw this *obvious* loophole in the plot and plugged it by having Harry and Hermione actually have a friendly conversation about it.\n\nSo why don\031t they have this conversation here? And why does Hermione hint at it *again*:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Hermione gave him a \034what-did-I-tell-you?\035 look over her shoulder. \n> \n>\034No thanks,\035 said Harry quickly. \034I don\031t like it much.\035 \n> \n>\034Well, take these anyway,\035 said Romilda, thrusting a box into his hands. \034Chocolate Cauldrons, they\031ve got firewhisky in them. My gran sent them to me, but I don\031t like them.\035 \n> \n>\034Oh\024right\024thanks a lot,\035 said Harry, who could not think what else to say. \034Er\024I\031m just going over here with&\035 \n> \n>He hurried off behind Hermione, his voice tailing away feebly. \n> \n>**\034Told you,\035 said Hermione succinctly. \034Sooner you ask someone, sooner they\031ll all leave you alone** and you can\024\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOnce again, Harry is running after Hermione, seeking *her* out, and what is her response? That\031s *six* times Hermione has hinted to Harry. **SIX TIMES!** Even if she just wants to spend time with him as friends, it\031s difficult not to read so many statements like this as hints to Harry. Even after a girl (like Cho) kisses Harry, he still can\031t figure out when she\031s hinting at him, so perhaps this shouldn\031t be surprising to Hermione.\n\nI *know* there are other ways to read this, and generally people don\031t assume Hermione is hinting anything to Harry. But can we really ignore it after all of her previous hinting at going to Slug events *and* the fact that Harry seems weirdly paying much more attention than usual by spending so much time alone with her now?\n\nMeanwhile, there\031s no indication Hermione\031s taking McLaggen yet at this point. The fact that she doesn\031t even reveal that until the next day seems to indicate it was likely a last-minute decision; if she invited him earlier, one might expect she\031d be rubbing it in Ron\031s face for days or weeks. (Again, that\031s assuming that\031s what her real aim is.) And why *not* invite Harry, then, as Ron\031s been acting jealous around H/Hr? Heck, Hermione\031s statement in that last quote is interrupted because Hermione spies Ron and Lavender in the common room: why not pointedly ask *Harry* at that very moment, to annoy Ron? It\031s so bloody obvious! If there is *truly* nothing between her and Harry, but she *knows* Ron has repeatedly acted jealous around the two of them, this would be the perfect opportunity to suddenly act super-sweet and affectionate to Harry (someone who is safe! Not like McLaggen!) and drive Ron nuts, instead of only passive aggressively suggesting the next day that she likes \034*really good* Quidditch players.\035 The whole setup is there already\024she and Harry have been spending so many evenings whispering alone\024and it\031s so much more believable (thus potentially much more hurtful to Ron) than the idea she actually had any interest in McLaggen.\n\nIf JKR really was trying to show us Harry and Hermione were not interested in each other, that would be the *perfect* way of finally demonstrating that, as Hermione would have to explain, and Harry would have to think about how it\031s ridiculous Hermione was going to such lengths and behaving stupidly when H/Hr obviously weren\031t interested in each other. For that matter, having them deliberately go to the party as friends could also have been a great venue to indicate they were only really friends. So many missed opportunities, if JKR\031s only goal was to make Ron jealous and show H/Hr aren\031t romantic& and yet instead *everything just gets weirder*.\n\nStepping again away from the question of what was intended or not, there are simply so many odd details to this whole situation that it leads you to wonder if something else is going on. Is there a reason Harry seems to be noting Ron\031s distracted and not noticing what he\031s doing by heading out with Hermione in the evenings? Is Hermione perhaps hesitant to outright ask Harry to the event because maybe she wants to see if he\031s interested, that maybe their time together means something that neither of them is quite willing to bring up directly?\n\nAnd I\031m just going to throw this out there, but if we buy into any of this, is it a potential alternative explanation for some of Hermione\031s frustration and behavior around the potions book? The two of them always keep talking to each other throughout the book. So could her frustrations at Harry\031s cluelessness (even while he repeatedly keeps seeking her out and is spending a lot of time with her, thus giving her very mixed signals, even if unintentional) be bleeding over into her occasional annoyance with him? I know, it\031s reaching& but it feels like an actual potential explanation for her behavior, which is otherwise a bit odd in HBP (as many people have noted).\n\n# 2. Harry\031s Hammering\n\nWhatever we think about the potential for deeper feelings, it *must* have occurred to Hermione that she and Harry could have gone to the Christmas party together, given her previous hinting. Did it occur to Harry?\n\nWe don\031t get anything specific in his internal monologue about it. But he definitely doesn\031t want to know that Hermione might be inviting Ron (or McLaggen). Let\031s go back to that scene in Herbology (HBP14):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe then begins to pound the pods so hard he breaks a bowl.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Harry missed the pod, hit the bowl, and shattered it. \n> \n>\034*Reparo*,\035 he said hastily, poking the pieces with his wand, and the bowl sprang back together again. The crash, however, appeared to have awoken Ron and Hermione to Harry\031s presence. **Hermione looked flustered and immediately started fussing** about for her copy of *Flesh-Eating Trees of the World* to find out the correct way to juice Snargaluff pods; Ron, on the other hand, looked sheepish but also rather pleased with himself.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThis is odd behavior on the part of both Harry and Hermione. We know Hermione has been hinting to hang out with Harry. But now that she tentatively invited Ron, Harry\031s acting quite weird and extreme\024causing her to become \034flustered\035 and start to fuss. Why?\n\nWhy would Hermione act flustered about this, if she was just proposing going to an event as friends with Ron? Or, even if she thought it might turn into more, why would she be *flustered* around Harry about it? Why would she even think Harry was upset or acting out about her and Ron, instead of *just assuming Harry just had an accident* and broke a bowl?\n\nWhat\031s going on that even causes her to have a reaction to him at all?\n\nHere are a few possibilities we might consider:\n\n1. Hermione is embarrassed that Harry knows she and Ron could go to the party together, and that implies something might be happening between them. This might seem the obvious choice, until we recognize that they\031re sitting right next to Harry, and she wasn\031t previously trying to hide her interaction with Ron. (She was speaking \034angrily\035 to him, not quietly.) And would she really think that\031s something they would keep hidden from Harry, whom she also hopes will go to the party?\n2. Hermione actually does have some confusing feelings for Harry. Maybe she isn\031t pursuing them actively or isn\031t quite sure what she wants. But nevertheless she feels awkward when she realizes Harry is likely interpreting her action as interest in Ron, and she feels weird about that. If we also believe she was hinting at going to Slug events with Harry before, there\031s an additional layer of awkwardness that she might now have alienated him.\n3. Hermione thinks Harry might have some feelings *for her* that he wasn\031t expressing openly. (Perhaps she noticed him getting flushed at her \034fanciable\035 comment.) And now he\031s acting out, so she *makes the assumption* this is because he\031s annoyed at the possibility of her and Ron being together.\n\nWell, option #3 is actually true, at least to some extent. Harry is annoyed at the idea of the two of them, and he has a long internal monologue thinking about it. Granted, it\031s not specifically focused on Hermione, but we know he\031s worried about losing bits of their friendship and feeling \034shut out.\035 (Sidenote: isn\031t it interesting then to see which one of the two Harry suddenly seems to start spending more time with after this scene, given his concern? Harry specifically seeks *Hermione* out in deliberate fashion so much over the next few months, which is not always his typical behavior.)\n\nWe don\031t know about #2, but Hermione has several times expressed interest in spending time with Harry (perhaps only as friends, but still). And it makes sense she\031d feel at least a bit awkward that now things are shifting toward Ron.\n\nSo why *is* Harry getting so worked up here? It\031s hard to believe that he thinks Hermione and Ron will completely abandon his friendship with them if they get involved. Harry\031s actions seem a bit extreme if this is only about friendship& and Hermione\031s reaction is a bit interesting given that it requires her to recognize Harry\031s \034accident\035 was potentially saying something about his feelings. As usual, the two of them are attuned to each other closely.\n\nAlmost immediately after this scene, two things occur that radically shift Harry\031s behavior: (1) the chest monster for Ginny erupts, as if he was feeling uncertain and started to project desire onto someone else (isn\031t it weird that it happens *right after* this scene and Harry\031s long internal monologue??), and (2) Harry begins seeking Hermione out at almost every opportunity, following her whenever he sees her leave a room, going to the library with her, etc.\n\nThis has to be a confusing time for both of them. If we didn\031t have the prejudice against Harmony, wouldn\031t we assume that Harry suddenly hanging out with Hermione so much might *mean something*? Like maybe, after what happened with Ron, he might even be working up to asking her to the party? But perhaps, after seeing Ron and Hermione interact, he assumes he may have missed his chance with her\024or that she wouldn\031t be interested in going with him anymore?\n\nOnce again we\031re left with the mystery of why H/Hr never talk about that option in the book. Clearly, Harry has some confusing feelings about this whole situation. So what *does* he do?\n\n# 3. Harry\031s Hesitation\n\nIn fact, the day of the party, Harry chases after Hermione *yet again* when Ron makes fun of her (doing an awful imitation of her in class), and Harry comes upon Hermione with Luna. It\031s like there\031s something on his mind, but he freezes (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\\[Hermione\\] raced out of the classroom on the bell, leaving half her things behind; Harry, deciding that her need was greater than Ron\031s just now, scooped up her remaining possessions and followed her. He finally tracked her down as she emerged from a girls\031 bathroom on the floor below. She was accompanied by Luna Lovegood, who was patting her vaguely on the back. \n> \n>\034Oh, hello, Harry,\035 said Luna. \034Did you know one of your eyebrows is bright yellow?\035 \n> \n>\034Hi, Luna. Hermione, you left your stuff&.\035 \n> \n>He held out her books. \n> \n>\034Oh yes,\035 said Hermione in a choked voice, taking her things and turning away quickly to hide the fact that she was wiping her eyes on her pencil case. \034Thank you, Harry. Well, I\031d better get going&.\035 \n> \n>And she hurried off, **without giving Harry any time to offer words of comfort**, though admittedly he could not think of any.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLuna then only manages to get a couple sentences out before this happens:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034How would you like to come to Slughorn\031s party with me tonight?\035 \n> \n>**The words were out of Harry\031s mouth before he could stop them; he heard himself say them as though it were a stranger speaking.** \n> \n>Luna turned her protuberant eyes upon him in surprise. \n> \n>\034Slughorn\031s party? With you?\035 \n> \n>\034Yeah,\035 said Harry. \034We\031re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like& I mean&\035 **He was keen to make his intentions perfectly clear**. \034I mean, just as friends, you know. But if you don\031t want to&\035 \n> \n>**He was already half hoping that she didn\031t want to.**\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHermione has hinted so many times to Harry about Slughorn\031s events in general and at least four times explicitly about the party. (That\031s even more times than Cho had to try to get through his thick skull.) Harry had just rushed after her yet again, then seemingly wants to say something but she rushes off too quickly. And then suddenly, this pops out of his mouth, seemingly inexplicably. It happens so suddenly that he\031s immediately trying to pull back, to make his intentions clear, hoping Luna actually says no.\n\nWhy would he hope Luna said no? Hermione told him if he wants to avoid the love potion nonsense, he should just do something like this& and now that he has, *it\031s all wrong*. And why did it pop into his head *at this moment*, right after *Hermione* left? Was it already in his thoughts? Was he really seeking Hermione out all this time because he likes spending time with her, something he actually then *does* at Slughorn\031s party?\n\nWe\031re not told explicitly, but if all of these scenes played out from another character\031s POV, wouldn\031t you come to the conclusion that Harry was starting to show interest in Hermione, and was working up to asking her? We assume we\031re getting a mostly complete sense of Harry\031s thoughts in his internal monologue, but clearly *something* is driving him to pay much more attention to Hermione than usual, and as readers we\031re not explicitly told why.\n\nBut then why does Harry hesitate? Maybe for the same reason Hermione hesitates\024perhaps because it *wouldn\031t* just be as \034just friends\035? It would potentially *mean something*: be another step, be an acknowledgement that Hermione has really wanted to get closer to him, that their compliments to each other since the beginning of the year might be hinting at more than just normal friendship, that Harry broke a bowl in class not just because he was worried about Hermione and Ron, but because he specifically is worried that Hermione\031s interest in *him* might shift away or lessen.\n\nI\031ll freely admit this is reading a lot between the lines. Not so much for Hermione (who I think is *quite clear* that she\031s interested in hanging out with Harry a lot and would gladly spend time with him, go to parties with him, etc.). But as readers we expect to understand Harry\031s POV given bits of his internal thoughts that are described in the books. However, we also know for certain these thoughts aren\031t complete. For example, later in HBP, Harry and Ginny manage to have a complete *relationship* that\031s barely depicted in the books\024only referenced later when Harry reminisces at BIll and Fleur\031s wedding about all those times he spent with her \034in lonely parts of the school grounds.\035\n\nIf JKR can leave out of Harry\031s POV basically *an entire relationship* that is supposed to be about soulmates connecting for the first time, can we reliably say that she might not be giving us \034the whole story\035 here about why Harry\031s acting strangely?\n\nThe implication there is that Harry and Ginny\031s relationship and feelings were explored much more than we as readers got to see. What else is going on with Harry and Hermione in all the evenings they\031re spending alone in the library in HBP? I\031m not at all suggesting they\031re actually involved or dating, but given what we see of them flirting and joking in the many passages early in HBP, shouldn\031t we assume similar things are happening during all of this time? Something\031s happening with them, and Harry\031s behavior around Hermione has become much more attentive. Again, if we as readers only saw Harry\031s actions and statements and behavior (and weren\031t worried about lacking information in his internal POV thoughts), what might we conclude?\n\nCan it at all be a mere coincidence that almost the moment Hermione invites Ron and Harry nearly destroys things in class, he suddenly has this \034chest monster\035 erupting and driving him elsewhere? Does he *need* a distraction from the confusing dynamic around his best friend, the one who now finds him so \034fanciable\035 and is excited about sharing the Prefects\031 bathroom with him?\n\nI don\031t like to go too far down this route, because it\031s postulating too much about Harry\031s feelings that are going unexpressed. But his behavior is *new* and *different* and *odd*. (Harry is even confused *himself* when the invitation to Luna spills out of his mouth!) There are so many peculiarities that it should lead readers to wonder what\031s going on with him.\n\nGoing back to Hermione, only *after Harry has secured a date* (with Luna) does she finally appear to turn to McLaggen. This is at least partly intended to annoy Ron (as Hermione later outright admits), but the timing is interesting. In the movie, Hermione reveals she has some \034secret\035 guest which is why H/Hr can\031t go together, but it never comes up in the book. And (as I noted above), why would Hermione wait to reveal this information to the last moment when she could be taunting Ron with it?\n\nIt\031s possible of course that she\031s so upset with Ron\031s behavior *that day* that she finally snaps and decides to get some sort of revenge on him. I know people think that Hermione is trying to make Ron jealous in order to get him interested, but is that really a reasonable interpretation of Hermione\031s actions here? Do we really think Hermione is so masochistic and has such disdain for herself that after being treated awful by Ron for days after she first tentatively offered an opportunity to go to the party, then humiliated by Ron snogging another girl in front of everyone, then driven out of the common room *for six weeks* by him acting outrageously enough with her that it annoys other people too, that now she\031s going to suddenly attempt to woo him back by annoying him with McLaggen?\n\nIn what universe does any of that make *any sense*? Perhaps she might do it just to annoy him or aggravate him (which she frequently does elsewhere in the books) or as a sort of revenge. But it obviously doesn\031t even work in drawing Ron\031s attention. Ron barely seems to act differently around her and continues to date Lavender for *months* afterward.\n\nOn the other hand, someone else *definitely* steps up and notices. The \034fanciable\035 boy, the one who has been having whispered conversations with her for the past month alone in the evenings, the \034really good Quidditch player,\035 the one Hermione always wanted to go to Slug events with\024well, he\031s the main one who *finally* displays some emotion about her.\n\n# 4. H/Hr at the Party\n\nHarry and Hermione obviously don\031t go to the party together as each other\031s date. But, as we might expect based on their previous behavior, they do end up seeking each other out. For the umpteenth time, Harry\031s focus is pulled completely away from everyone else just by a *hint* of Hermione (HBP15):\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034I\031m definitely not interested,\035 said Harry firmly, \034and I\031ve just seen a friend of mine, sorry.\035 \n> \n>He pulled Luna after him into the crowd; **he had indeed just seen a long mane of brown hair disappear** between what looked like two members of the Weird Sisters. \n> \n>\034Hermione! Hermione!\035 \n> \n>\034Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOnce again, a glimpse of Hermione\031s hair is all it takes for Harry to rush after her, and Hermione is overjoyed to see him, as if she really only wanted to spend time with him and was actively looking for him. (\034*There you are*&\035)\n\nWhat is his reaction, though?\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>\034What\031s happened to you?\035 asked Harry, for Hermione looked distinctly disheveled, rather as though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil\031s Snare. \n> \n>\034Oh, I\031ve just escaped\024I mean, I\031ve just left Cormac,\035 she said. \034Under the mistletoe,\035 she added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her. \n> \n>\034Serves you right for coming with him,\035 he told her severely. \n> \n>\034I thought he\031d annoy Ron most,\035 said Hermione dispassionately. \034I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole\024\035 \n> \n>\034*You considered Smith*?\035 said Harry, revolted. \n> \n>\034Yes, I did, and I\031m starting to wish I\031d chosen him, McLaggen makes Grawp look a gentleman. Let\031s go this way, we\031ll be able to see him coming, he\031s so tall&\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLet\031s look at the dialogue tags here, as they tell the whole story. Does Hermione seem particularly worked up about Ron (or McLaggen for that matter)? No, she merely notes \034dispassionately\035 that it might annoy Ron, as if she didn\031t even care about that element very much.\n\nBut Harry on the other hand is reacting *quite* passionately\024talking \035severely\035 and \034revolted\035 at the idea of her going out with other guys. And is Hermione really being truthful here? Would McLaggen actually annoy Ron \034the most\035? If it was meant to do something, it has little immediate effect on the Ron/Lavender fiasco. Yet who is responding *most* to what Hermione has done here? It\031s not Ron. Who is the boy who has been chasing her around the school for the past six weeks?\n\nHarry\024the \034really good\035 Quidditch player she obviously likes in some fashion\024is the one who is responding to all of this, not Ron. It\031s often said that Harry and Hermione show no concern when the other dates other people, but that\031s obviously not true. It\031s very clear that Hermione finally got Harry worked up about that, right here. (Not to mention Harry breaking things in Herbology.) Meanwhile, Ron\031s treating her like crap and is off snogging Lavender continuously, so Hermione\031s actions make no sense to attract him. People claim Hermione\031s therefore OOC, but is this just part of a slightly different scheme to judge how *Harry* views her?\n\nIf we step back and realize Harry\031s POV isn\031t always a completely accurate reflection of events, as it\031s told through his interpretation, **a potential realistic interpretation of pretty much the ENTIRE first half of HBP isn\031t that Hermione\031s trying to feel out things with Ron. Rather, it seems, she\031s been trying to cultivate more interest** ***from Harry*****.** \n\n**And** ***it\031s working*****.**\n\nWho does she get to spend time in the library with for weeks? Who does she actually get to spend time with at Slughorn\031s party? It\031s Harry. He then gets *particularly close to her* to have a private conversation:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n>Under cover of her furious criticisms of Firenze, **Harry drew closer to Hermione** and said, \034Let\031s get something straight. Are you planning to tell Ron that you interfered at Keeper tryouts?\035 \n> \n>Hermione raised her eyebrows. \034Do you really think I\031d stoop that low?\035 \n> \n>Harry looked at her shrewdly. \034Hermione, if you can ask out McLaggen\024\035 \n> \n>\034There\031s a difference,\035 said Hermione with dignity. \034I\031ve got no plans to tell Ron anything about what might, or might not, have happened at Keeper tryouts.\035 \n> \n>\034Good,\035 said Harry fervently. \034Because he\031ll just fall apart again, and we\031ll lose the next match \024\035 \n> \n>**\034Quidditch!\035 said Hermione angrily. \034Is that all boys care about?** Cormac hasn\031t asked me one single question about myself, no, I\031ve just been treated to \030A Hundred Great Saves Made by Cormac McLaggen\031 nonstop ever since\024oh no, here he comes!\035\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSo far, Hermione had been excited to see Harry. It\031s almost as if she had hoped to draw him out at the party (as she has in the past), to make the clueless boy her *de facto* date anyway. And, if we\031re to be honest, Harry is closer to being her \034date\035 at this party than McLaggen: Hermione seems to enjoy spending more time talking alone with him.\n\nBut notice what happens at the end here. After excitement to see Harry and rather measured responses about the whole Ron business, she responds \034angrily\035 when Harry *wants to talk about Quidditch*.\n\nShe then immediately compares Harry\031s conversation *to her date\031s*, as if she expected Harry to be a better companion. And she gets annoyed that \034boys\035 always just want to talk about Quidditch. What *else* does she want Harry to talk about? About her? About the things they maybe whisper sometimes about in the library? The implication here is that Hermione is annoyed that *Harry* isn\031t acting like a good date, being self-absorbed and talking about Quidditch, just like her actual date that she\031s trying to avoid.\n\nCan it be any clearer that Hermione wants something different from Harry, something that he\031s still being too clueless to pick up on? After the \034fanciable\035 boy who thinks she\031s the \034best in our year\035 became flushed and smirked at her, she hinted at least six times she wanted him to go with her to things, and here they are\024FINALLY!\024at the party with him \034drawing closer to her\035... and all he wants to do is talk about bloody *Quidditch*!\n\nCan you blame her for getting frustrated with Harry? Do we perhaps now understand why she storms off completely (not just dodging McLaggen), and Harry barely gets to see her before they head off the next day on Christmas holiday?\n\n# 5. Conclusion\n\nBack when GoF first came out, the supposed undeniable \034proof\035 of romantic interest between Ron and Hermione was the Yule Ball fight, where Ron got upset about who Hermione was dating and she responds angrily and apparently storms off because Ron didn\031t seem to prioritize her feelings.\n\nLiterally the exact same scenario just happened above. Why then shouldn\031t we draw the same conclusion about Harry and Hermione?\n\nI don\031t have space here to explore how their dynamic plays out in the rest of HBP after this incident, but it\031s all quite interesting (and may be a topic for a future essay). Unlike Ron and Hermione, though, H/Hr never really alienate each other. One begins to then wonder if Hermione\031s growing frustration in the remainder of HBP with Harry isn\031t just about the potions book, but the fact that he *continues* to be oblivious and finally seems to abandon his attentiveness to her to pursue Ginny. (Petty disagreements are supposed to be rock solid proof of sexual tension for Ron and Hermione, so why do we immediately dismiss their significance for H/Hr in HBP, especially given the context I\031ve noted?)\n\nRegardless, even though Harry and Hermione can\031t figure out how to ask each other to be a date for the party, they still seek each other out at the party and have meaningful contact together. There are many strange and unexplained dynamics going on throughout the first half of HBP, but one thing we definitely can say is that Harry and Hermione are not alienated here. If anything, they\031re closer than ever, spending a lot of time alone together, with Harry finally stepping up and being a better friend to Hermione, rather than his previous tendencies to stay closer to Ron. What else we might want to read into these dynamics is of course up to the individual reader.
## 34 My girlfriend[24F] and I [23M] have been in a relationship for just over 6 months. However, she gets real jealous over the fact that I have other female friends, and it has started several arguments throughout the relationship. \n\nMost recently like 5 days ago, I told her that when my best female friend[22F] from high school will be coming to town to visit on the 11th to the 17th, and I would probably go to the gym with her when she comes into town. \n\nThis started a huge argument. She said all these things like \034why can\031t you just go this one time without seeing her\035 \034so you\031d rather hang with her than me\035 \034she\031s probably all you think about when she comes to town huh?\035 Type stuff. Even though I only see this friend of mine 2 or 3 times a year, it has been a problem both times she has visited since our relationship began. \n\nI told her straight up, she can either acceptant/tolerate me having female friends, or she can leave me. She chose the latter. I guess she expected me to beg for her not to leave but since I didn\031t do that, she began bawling and saying I didn\031t care. It\031s not that, it\031s just I won\031t drop any friends of mine for a girlfriend. \n\nMy GF came back to me that same night. But ever since that night, I haven\031t felt the same. I don\031t really want to see her(haven\031t seen her since that fight) and I have no urge to text her anything all day. I can\031t get myself to believe this jealousy problem will ever change. She might be able to hide it this one time, but I feel like deep down it won\031t change. She has a problem with every one of my female friends. I know that\031s a red flag, but I was trying hard to make it work, but part of my feels like it won\031t. \n\nShould I just end things now, or tell her that my feelings have subsided because of the argument? Or what should I do??\n\n**IMPORTANT EDIT**: I should add that about 3 weeks ago while I was using the restroom I caught my girlfriend snooping through my phone looking at my female friends messages. I was NOT okay with that one bit.
## 35 Mods, I can't find flair on my post. I'm ambivalent to advice. I just wanted to get it off my chest. \n\nCW death/dying\n\n\nPlease forgive formatting, i am on mobile. First time poster.\n\nAlso, you don't have permission to use my pain for your gain. Nope, nada, nie\n\nHi! I'm Boo and I have a narcissist JNSIL. \n\nTechnically, she's a fan after 21 years of wishing me dead, starting trouble, swiping illnesses to have them worse, emotional incest, and much more. \n\nThere's a phrase I heard here the other week. Bride at every wedding, corpse at every funeral. \n\nI finally blocked her on my phone tonight. \n\nMy MIL is rapidly declining. We knew this was coming after my BIL passed away. She gave up then. My husband and I just faced it and chose to keep going. \n\nWe didn't mention anything on our social medias out of respect of my MIL wishes as well as JNSIL behavior around BIL passing away. \n\nApparently, asking for thoughts, prayers, whatever you can send meant I was asking for money. \n\nSo, tonight JNSIL calls us to tell us MIL may not make it til Sunday. We were out at the grocery store. Once we got home, my husband and i created a joint post to ask for prayers for his family. Mainly him dictating, me typing it up. Signed by him, me, Spawn 1, Spawn 2\n\nI copied and pasted the post to his FB page. I have the majority of his family blocked other than some FM on mine. \n\nLess than an hour after the post went up, she called him three times. No VM, no text. Knowing he works third shift and was likely asleep. He attempted to call back and she ignored him. \n\nI blocked her then on my phone while on the phone with him. Once the dust settles, I'm done. They have his and Spawn 1's numbers. I'm no longer a meat shield or whipping person. \n\nIt should have never came to this.\n\nBut a narcissist will always narcissist. \n\nSorry for length, typos, or formatting issues. Hugs (consensual) and support freely given to all.
## 36 I told you about how I ran away when she asked to kissed in my previous post. A month later or two, we were sexting hard. For some reasons she deleted all of her own texts and kept mine. Next morning her brother saw her phone, and only my side of texts. And you know pretty much what happened next. He called my parents and, then my elder brother scolded me hard. My mother slapped shit out of me. And next day I went with my brother and bois and beat the crap out of his brother and showed him complete conversation. And we didn't talk after that at all. To this date, I hate her the most. Sometimes I want to grab my grade 304 18/8 stainless steel bottle and beat the shit out of her head, as she is in my class. But in 11th I started dating someone better, someone very much fun and its been great from past 2 years.
## 37 WARNING: This is gonna be a post where I talk about my personal experiences and how I went through and ended a relationship as an avoidant. It will be long. Feel free to skip this one if you\031re mostly interested in broader or more theoretical discussions about attachment theory or the avoidant attachment style. If you feel the need to share your own story after reading mine you are very welcome to do so. Consider the comment section as a safe space. If you have any insight or constructive criticism about my behavior, I will gladly read it.\n\nSomeone recently made a post about being able to form relationships with some people and not with others and it made me think about the \034relationship\035 in which I acted the most avoidant I ever have (let\031s call it relationship for lack of better words, even though it was very far from being a traditional committed relationship). I never really shared this story with anyone, and since I\031ve been planning to finally talk to my therapist about it, I thought it would be good for me to collect my thoughts write them down. \n\nI met a guy, in January 2021. We matched on a dating app, despite him living in another country. In hindsight it\031s crazy to think that all of this was born out of a random glitch. We spent 2-3 months texting constantly and developing a very strong mental connection. We were both aware of the challenges that our situation presented, but the quality of our conversations and the romance of finding each other and getting together \034against all odds\035 (distance, covid, lockdowns etc) were stronger. We spent every free moment we had talking and getting to know each other. Maybe I was even beginning to feel an emotional connection towards him at some point, but then he had a very busy month, during which he was also meeting with a lot of other girls, and in that time I ended up distancing myself altogether. I honestly don\031t know whether it was a defense mechanism or I just naturally lost interest in him since I wasn\031t getting those high quality conversations anymore - the thing about him that attracted me the most. Either way, I told him that I no longer felt the spark and that it was better not to talk anymore. Afterwards, I went no contact.\n\nHe tried to text me a few times but I never replied. A month later he sent a very long message about how nobody could compete with me even though we had never even met in person, and that somehow breached my wall. I got close to him again. We met a couple of months later, for the first time. We went on romantic trip to Barcelona together. It tested my avoidance massively as, among other things, I usually hate sharing the bed with someone else, but I managed. I really really liked him. And here we get to the part of the story were my avoidance pops up and ruins everything.\n\nUpon coming back from Barcelona I started freaking out and sabotaging this relationship very hard. To avoid getting emotionally close to him (I think? Not sure what my reasons were really), I slept with other people, and when he asked me about it I told him the truth, which hurt him. At that point he was under the impression that we had become exclusive, but in reality we had never had that conversation before so I told him he shouldn\031t have expected that from me. I went radio silence for a few days when he moved to NYC because I couldn\031t handle the fact that he would be there for the whole year. He forgave me both times. In the following weeks I started oscillating between \034caring a lot\035 and \034not caring at all\035, I tried to escape countless times but there was something that kept me from staying away for more than a few days. He always managed to convince me to stay. Honestly, he triggered me so much it wasn\031t even funny, to this day I have never met anyone else I was so compatible and incompatible with at the same time. There was an insane physical attraction/sexual tension that bonded us and also a strong mental connection, as I\031ve already mentioned. But emotionally speaking it was a total mess, mostly because I was all over the place: I refused to discuss the state of our \034relationship\035 or even call it a \034relationship\035; I refused to discuss anything related to my feelings; I rejected his feelings - actually I couldn\031t even believe that he had any feelings for me, my sick brain thought it was all a joke or a lie in order to trap me and/or hurt me; I consistently failed to meet his needs, both intentionally and unintentionally; every time he asked me questions such as \034why do you even want to be with me\035 I would freeze and change topic. And yet, I couldn\031t push myself to leave once and for all as I\031d always done before. The roller coaster of emotions literally made me feel sick, I started having a lot of stomach issues around that time. I want to be clear here, he never displayed any abusive or disrespectful behavior. He was a great guy all around. This is entirely on me. His expectations were legitimate, after all he was a mostly securely attached person and wanted normal things that a securely attached person would have no problems providing. Unfortunately, he had demons of his own and he was strongly drawn to my dysfunctions. He was convinced he could \034somehow\035 save me from myself. \n\nAnyways, to cut it short, around Christmas he was meant to come back to Europe and I was planning to go visit him during the holidays, but he ended up catching covid and then I caught it myself. I couldn\031t make it to his country. Of course he spent the weeks he was here reconnecting with his family and friends, which meant that he didn\031t talk a lot to me. And what did I do once again? I took the opportunity to distance myself, build another wall to keep him out and engage in more meaningless sex and random hook ups. We had a lot of arguments around that time as well. The situation was stressing me out enormously, I hated the way he triggered me, I hated the person I would become when he was around, I hated how he could be so open with his feelings while I struggled so much. I could never really express how I felt to him. Being with him was a constant reminder of how damaged I am, it was like being forced to face everything I hate about myself all the damn time. He nullified every progress I was making in therapy, but make no mistake, he never did anything wrong. This failure is mine and mine alone. Meanwhile my stomach issues were the worst they had ever been: constant heartburn, pain, reflux, throwing up.\n\nOne day he got fed up with my behavior and we had a long conversation where I also told him about my health problems and how stressed out I was. I told him I couldn\031t deal with the fear and the feelings of inadequacy and defectiveness. I told him that ever since Christmas I hadn\031t felt the same attraction anymore, maybe I had finally succeeded in distancing myself. He said he wouldn\031t have stopped me if I had tried to run for the nth time.\n\nThat\031s what I did, a few days later. Never replied to his last messages. He never reached out again. One whole year and it ended like this. But I couldn\031t have done it any differently, I needed to get away both for my mental and physical health. I was constantly living in the \034fight or flight\035 mode, I felt like I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and this \034relationship\035 was negatively impacting me in ways that I can\031t even describe. I did it to protect myself, from myself. Coincidentally, my stomach has gotten so much better ever since I cut him off. I don\031t regret doing it, I genuinely believe we\031re both better off this way. \n\nIt\031s been two months. Not gonna lie, I think of him every day. I am not mourning the loss of what we had though. He probably was the closest I ever got to having deep feelings for someone, but this showed me how much work I need to do, with or without therapy, in order to be able to have a healthy relationship with someone. It showed me all of my limits. In the end, I know I did the right thing. I can only hope that, while attempting to save myself, I didn\031t hurt him too much
## 38 **Unbiased DD on HYMC**\n\n**Mining Background:** Hycroft mine was formerly known as the CroFoot Lewis Open Pit Mine. This mine began operations in 1983. From *operational* inception in 1987 to 1998 the mine produced 1m ounces of gold and 2.5m ounces of silver. Low gold prices in the late 90\031s forced the mine into \034care and maintenance\035 programs. Then in 2007 Hycroft restarted the mine and in 2008 began operational activities. From 2008 to 2015 the mine was actively operational. Then, in 2017 the mine was again placed into \034care and maintenance\035 when it stopped adding lime to the leach pads. Care and Maintenance activity was continued through 2018. Activities were then restarted in late 2018, early 2019, with a small crew of only \034six haul trucks, two hydraulic shovels and one wheel loader\035. Initial production spanned from Aug. 2019 to November 2021 when Hycroft ceased operations.\n\n**Key Mining Takeaways:**\n\n· Viable mine with proven resources\n\n· Recurrent pattern of discontinued operations\n\n· Known sources of ore from 30+years of drilling\n\n· Like all mining operations, activity is heavily dependent on economic value/feasibility of mining the ore\n\n**Company Background:** Hycroft Mining Holding Corp. \023 formerly known as Mudrick Capital Acquisition Corp. \023 was formed in 2017 \023 and owns the Hycroft Mine\n\n**Company Arrangements:** *Sprott Credit Arrangement*\\*\\*:\\*\\* Hycroft entered into an arrangement with Sprott Private Resource lending and established a senior secured credit facility up to $110m. This agreement also prohibits HYMC from distributing dividends\n\n**Company Ownership:** As of March 31, 2022, Mudrick Capital Management LP, (\034Mudrick Capital\035), 2176423 Ontario Limited, an entity affiliated with Eric Sprott (\034Eric Sprott\035) and American Multi-Cinema, Inc. (\034AMC\035) owned approximately 12.4%, 11.9% and 11.9% of our outstanding voting securities, respectively, and have the right to acquire 13,308,529, 23,408,240 and 23,408,240 additional shares of common stock, respectively, upon the exercise of warrants held by them\n\n**Pit Information:** Open Pit mining w/ heap leach processing \023 fancy terminology for \034using a series of chemical reactions that absorb specific minerals and re-separate them after their division from other earth materials\035. Resources are contained in oxide, transitional, and sulfide ores. **Currently Hycroft has no ongoing commercial mining operations or sustaining revenue from the care and maintenance processing operations currently conducted.** The mill and Acid POX (pressurized oxidation) process remains the focus of ongoing work, as it generates higher gold and silver recoveries than the sulfide heap oxidation and leach process.\n\n**Resources and Expansion**: Any expansion of the Hycroft Mine necessary to exploit any additional mineral resources that may be established through Hycrofts exploration drilling program beyond the mineral resources in the 2022 Hycroft TRS, **will require Hycroft to obtain all permits, approvals and consents of regulatory agencies responsible for the use and development of mines in Nevada. (LENGTHY PROCESS)**\n\no **Measured and Indicated Mineral Resources**: 9.6m ounces of gold, 446m ounces of silver\n\no **Inferred mineral resources**: 5m ounces of gold, 150m ounces of silver\n\no In the 10-k there is no mention of a *proven mineral reserve or probable mineral reserves* because there is no actual mining taking place\n\n**Financial Information**\n\n· Net loss of $88.6MM vs 2020 Net Loss of $136MM\n\n· Gold Rev increased more than 2x\n\no Mine had more ore under leach\n\n· Silver Rev increased more than 3x\n\no Mine had more ore under leach\n\n· Company continues to process gold and silver ore on the leach pads but does not expect to generate net positive cash for the foreseeable future\n\no Total projected sources of future liquidity decreased by 4x from 2020 to 2021\n\n· There are numerous debt covenants surrounding the Sprott Credit Agreement\n\n**Final Takeaways**\n\nCompany is at least 2-3years away from a commercially viable operation and has all sorts of funky credit/debit covenants with gold investor Eric Sprott, who just so happened to purchase 12% of shares, who also receives a royalty from smelting action and who has publicly ridiculed short sellers. To the moon? I don\031t know. But I\031ve got 15 C 4/14exp at 4.00\n\n&#x200B;\n\n# EDIT:\n\n# Because I've read some comments on ore quality I wanted to paste this snippet and hopefully someone can help explain what I am reading... Does this graph show that there is only .008 ounces/ton of gold in this sample ? \n\n&#x200B;\n\n[https:\\/\\/www.mining.com\\/web\\/making-the-grade-understanding-exploration-results\\/#:\\~:text=GOLD&#37;3A&#37;20One&#37;20ounce&#37;2C&#37;20or&#37;20roughly,tonne&#37;20is&#37;20usually&#37;20economically&#37;20viable.](https://preview.redd.it/iu52xjw2ubr81.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=e74a35e1113ccbe3569e2f4c7eaab260abf677b5)\n\nFrom HYMC 10-k:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[AU OZ\\/TON](https://preview.redd.it/7kjlg9zmubr81.jpg?width=1732&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f83e652b4861ad83a6a364cdbafff4ff95e4bb4)
## 39 I've seen a lot of discussion about what Cultivation's chess game is all leading towards, grooming Taravangian, Dalinar, and Lift to take up the three rosharan shards, but I noticed an interesting line when listening to the RoW audiobook that could indicate an alternative. In the conversation between Cultivation and TOdium (bold is mine):\n\n>T: They showed you this possibility, I assume, but it isn't nearly as ... certain as I imagined it. It shows you things that can happen, but not the hearts of those who act. How did you dare try something like this? How did you know I'd be up to the challenge? \n> \n>C: I didn't, I couldn't. You were heading this direction - all I could do was hope that if you succeeded, my gift would work. **That I had changed you into someone who could bear this power with hono**r.\n\nYeah, it's written in lowercase, but Brandon does give events and dialogue (like Evi's name) from how the PoV character hears or interprets it. In the audiobook as well, the "with honor" part is HEAVILY emphasized as being capital H Honor. This is immediately followed in text by Taravangian realizing that there is a flaw, or loophole, in the deal made with Dalinar. Instead of Dalinar, could it be Taravangian that would take up the reforged shard of Honor? The deal was made between Dalinar as the representative of honor and Odium. If he is no longer Odium, but War, the deal would be broken.\n\nEDIT: Another line, from the same page as the quote and notice of a loophole. \n\n>But he did know of his predecessors plans, and had access to some of his knowledge. So Taravangian knew the the cosmere was in chaos. Ruled by fools. **Presided over by broken gods.**\n\nAnother possible indication that it could be Taravangian, instead of Dalinar (if anyone), who would desire to reforge Adonalsium.
## 40 My name is Mark, I've been a detective for ten years and I've seen many things that would keep the most grizzled man up at night. Last night my partner Terry was murdered in the interrogation room and.... I don't know how to feel about it or how to start.\n\nSo a month ago Terry and I were givin orders to check out a murdered couple a few miles away. It was strange off rip. There were no signs of forced entry or even a struggle. The stiffs died at the kitchen table still holding hands with a plate of French fries and a half eaten burger. They were young, like really young early twenties at the latest. There were two holes in the back of their heads indicating they were executed.\n\nTerry: Ayo Mark! Do you see this?\n\nTerry points to the heads of the kids.\n\nMe: Yea, they were executed why?\n\nTerry: Isn't it a little odd they didn't have an exit wound?\n\nMe: Low caliber pistol like a .22 maybe.\n\nTerry: We better just let the coroner run an autopsy on them to be safe.\n\nMe: This isn't first time we've seen this Terry but you're right I trust ya.\n\nIn my line of work you have to trust your partner with your life. Terry was the most lovable and honest man I know. When he had a gut feeling ninety nine percent of the time this man was right. Everyone loved Terry, Hell the whole town loved Terry. We packed up and left seeing there were very little evidence at the scene so we let the beat cops clean up the evidence that was there and we headed back to the station. Terry and I sat down to eat lunch and talk about our life. Him and I were very close so we talked a lot.\n\nTerry: Hey man, I got a question.\n\nMe: (mouth half full of a pastrami) what's up?\n\nTerry: Do you plan what you want to do after this? Like when you retire what did you want to do?\n\nMe: Well, I never really thought of that. I've always been in the spur of the moment kinda guy.\n\nTerry: I have a plan. My wife and I will travel the country in an RV just exploring the states.\n\nMe: That sounds awesome Terry. I guess I will just sit at home and watch tv most of my life.\n\nTerry: Well that's the thing bud. My wife and I wanted to know... would you like to come with us? We got a two bedroom RV and everything that I'm ready paying on.\n\nMe: Oh hell yea! I'll bring my fishing gear and we can all just have a blast then.\n\nWe talked about this a little longer. Martha and I were old friends from high school and I met Terry when she introduced me to him. We were friends ever since. We went to the academy together, trained together and Terry even took a bullet for me once.\n\nAfter I was done eating Terry and I were filing out our paper work when suddenly the chief came in and asked us two to come into his office. The chiefs name was Ervin was a tall man but the biggest teddy bear there is. Once we got in we sat down in his leather chairs. He had a wax burner on and it smelt like maple wood and honey suckles, this was my favorite wax smell too.\n\nErvin: Alright guys.. you know the bodies you checked out today? Well the coroner came back and there holes weren't bullet holes.\n\nTerry: Haha I knew it Mark! You owe me fifty bucks\n\nMark: I knew I shouldn't ever doubt you.\n\nErvin: Guys this is serious.. The holes were drill holes. The drill was 1/4 inch but the strangest thing is the brain was missing large amount of mass. Whoever killed this couple is a sick fuck. I called around and asked the couple towns over and they said they had a similar incident with another young couple. So we may be dealing with a serial killer.\n\nTerry: Fuck...\n\nMe: Jesus christ...\n\nErvin: Don't let anyone in the public know about this. We don't want widespread panic and we don't have any leads at all. But here's the other case file so compare and contrast the two.\n\nTerry and I in unison: On it chief.\n\nWe both walked out and began working on this case. We spent all night at our desks looking for possible suspect around the tri state area. But we didn't make any connections. Who ever this guy was covered his tracks perfectly. Not a clue left at the scene of the crime or anything noting who they were. He was a professional...\n\nThe next day I got into work and Terry was there talking to Jennifer who was also a detective. Kind and young woman. I had a bit of a crush on here but my job was so demanding I never had time to ask her out.\n\nTerry: Heyo Mark! Jenny here made some breakfast bratwurst with eggs and pork. These are amazing Jenny thank you!\n\nMe: Sweet! I'll try one.\n\nJenny: Hey mark (Jenny said with a smile on her face) We haven't spoke in a while. Maybe after work tonight we can go on a date and I don't know ... watch a movie\n\nJenny was visible blushing and I can tell she was nervous. My heart was racing and was beating out of my chest..\n\nMe: Uhhh sshh...sure\n\nTerry: Atta boy!\n\nMe: So I will swing by and pick you up around 6pm tonight?\n\nJenny: (visible happy and even a larger smile) Hell yes! I mean... uh that's a great time.\n\nI grabbed a bratwurst before she left and skipped down the hall like a school girl. She always been a bit childish but when it came to work she was such a hard worker and had an immense focus to her. I kinda fell in love with that..\n\nTerry: Hey markkkk. You're blushing bro.\n\nMe: Wha.. what, no I'm not... shut up\n\nWe both laughed and began talking about our night. While we were talking the chief came by and said that there was another report. Another young couple but this time they were in their own bed. We got to the scene and as usually nothing was out of the ordinary except breakfast in bed was Ketchup with eggs.\n\nTerry: Oh gross! Who eats ketchup with eggs...\n\nMe: Well it really ain't that bad. I tried it a few times\n\nTerry: Well damn, guess we can't be partners anymore\n\nMe: Oh shut up dork.\n\nThe couple were older then the last and again their names will be spared from this. But both were male and bout early thirties. Same thing happened here, drill holes in the back of the skull that was 1/4 in and smooth. I have a hard time believing these two men would just lay there and let this happen. Terry spoke up..\n\nTerry: There is no way someone would just let them get drilled in the back of the head. These men here were pretty fit. I mean his muscles are larger then mine.\n\nMe: I was thinking the same thing... What could it be...\n\nTerry and I: The eggs!\n\nWe quickly put on gloves and poured the eggs into a medical baggy so our lab to run tests maybe find a type of poison. We quickly got back and noticed a pattern we didn't see before. They all were eating food in the morning.\n\nTerry: I know this is new but we should totally name this killer a funny name\n\nMe: Oh shit! Yea, uh what about "The Breakfast Bandit"\n\nTerry: ooo ooo ooo how about "The Meal Monster"\n\nMe: No no no "the cravings killer"\n\nTerry: That's the one!! Condiment Killer it is!\n\nWe joked a bit while we waited. I know it seems heartless to joke about this since people died but in our line of work we see dead people all the time. It's doom and gloom 24/7 here. So any bit of light and any bit of hippieness we can get we take. I digress, the forensic team radioed us to come to them since they did find something. The person who was lead of the forensic team. Young kid named Llyod. Smart and shy but knows a lot of things that I don't understand like science and math.\n\nLlyod: Good.. you guys I did find something in the eggs it is ethylene glycol. A sweet tasting poison that's oderless and colorless.\n\nMe: Well, how does one even get ahold of this? We can cross examen who has purchased this stuff.\n\nLlyod: Well that's the issue. Ethylene glycol is found in antifreeze however the ethylene glycol we found was extremely concentrated.\n\nTerry: Well, I guess we will just cross examen who bought anti freeze and see if anything matches up.\n\nMe: Well I hope not many people needed antifreeze this month.\n\nA lot of people needed anti freeze last month... It took over 50 hours and 6,000 people to narrow down. We spent the next week questioning everyone on the list and it still.... got us no where. We got to our desks on a Friday night feeling defeated. While were waited Jenny came to us and asked.\n\nJenny: Hey you guys I know it's been rough, soooo I made you guys some meat pies. These are my grandmas recipe.\n\nMe: Thank hun! You're amazing\n\nTerry: Oh yea you are!\n\nOne of the worst nights I have ever had but the food she makes is so good it's sinful. Moments later the chief came in and asked to speak to us in private. So we walked into his office and we sat down to talk. This time he had some Seabreeze scent, not my favorite but still good.\n\nChief: So we were told there was another killing same MO however..... the were flayed like livestock it's a mess.\n\nMe: What.... It's the same then?\n\nTerry: Dear god.... who would do this?\n\nChief: A sick fuck... Just can you go out there and do your thing... I need to rest.\n\nWe got to the site and when we go out of the car we could smell it. Rusty iron filled the air as we entered the home. To our right was the living room and you can tell this one hurt... There were blood on the floors and walls and some viscera hanging from the ceiling. It looked like a fuckin' bear attack. We got to the kitchen and I had to run out of the house to vomit. I cleaned my face, caught my breath then got back in.\n\nThere was a body (at least what is left of the body) strewn across the kitchen floor. Body parts were all over the place however there was not any signs of struggle again. Closer look at the skull shows the 1/4in hole in the base of the skull. Something about this sent chills down my spine it just seemed demonic in nature... I cannot stand the smell in here. I can taste the blood in the air. \n\nTerry: Hey Mark.. I found something \n\nMe: What's did ya find? \n\nTerry: A pen.... but its from our precinct this may have been an accident... however whomever did this would know we are investigating this... We need to keep this to ourselves we don't want anyone to know in case we can finger the suspect. \n\nMe: Yes... Put this in a bag I will text the Chief. We can trust him \n\nTerry: My stomach is telling me he's safe\n\nAs per usual the scene was clean other then the one we found. No prints and no evidence just blood and gore. We got to the precinct and started the paper work. The chief came by our desk and asked if we found anything. I looked around and whispered\n\nMe: We found a pen that's from our precinct with dried blood on it. Perhaps the person dropped it while lifting the body or moving it. \n\nTerry: We sent the food found into forensics team to check it out too. \n\nChief: We must keep this on the down low. Only we may know this. \n\nI have to preface this, Jenny and I got serious like very serious.. She moved in after the 3rd date and we've been love birds since. I got home and Jenny instantly jumped on me to welcome me home. \n\nJenny: Hey Babe I missed you! \n\nMe: Missed you too love. It's been a hard day at work and I can't figure out who is doing these. \n\nJenny: Well. Any leads? \n\nMe: I found something.... at the scene but I haven't seen anything else?\n\nJenny: Wait... what was it? \n\nMe: I can't say but it's nothing special to be honest. \n\nJenny: Well guess what! I got you a special dinner! Meat loaf, you know your favorite. I even added a homemade ketchup to the top. \n\nMe: I'm not hungry I've been elbow deep in blood and viscera all day. \n\nJenny: Oh I understand. I'll save it for Terry\n\nWe got to bed and cuddled. My brain kept me awake fearing who in the site was the killer... who could've done such a sick and twisted act. My mind was racing and spinning and with all the stress I ended up passing out. I had a dream that night it was strange but could've been relevant to the case. \n\nIn my dream I woke up in a white room. It was illuminated with a soft glow but it was bright enough to fill the room. On the floor was a thing layer of water that was so still it looked like a mirror. This room stretched infinitely on all sides. I decided to walk through the endless expanse and after a certain amount of time the water started to turn black like ink. The whole room expanded in this black ink and a cold chill ran up my spine. I shapeless figure rose from the black ink and stood there. Shortly the ink was removed and revealed a white demon like creature with elongated arms with thin lips. This thing has no eyes and holes for ears. It opened it maw to speak \n\nThe Void: I am the void... I am the end.... I am starving... Your story is delicious... \n\nIt walked closer and my fight or flight was completely shut down and I was frozen still. It got closer and shoved it's sharp and nasty fingers into my collar piercing my flesh and lifting me up until I was facing it face to what ever the fuck it had. \n\nThe Void: hahahaha your fear is ecstasy ... keep being afraid child.. I will become strong enough to invade the throne of heaven... usurp the angels .... for I have seen the throne of god and he has abandoned you.... \n\nIts mouth opened wide and slowly started to fit it around my head... and CHOMP. I felt its rotting teeth piercing through my flesh. It's serrated edged teeth sliced my neck muscles inch by inch... I was trying to scream but all I could do is gurgle the blood lodged in my neck... I can feel his hands pull down on my body and my neck was stretching until I hear my muscles pop as the tendons made a sick snapping sound. \n\nThen I woke up in a cold sweat... I grabbed my neck and .... it was ok.. The dream felt so real... like I was killed in real life. Jenny saw me while she was getting dressed. \n\nJenny: Hun are you ok? You were crying in your sleep and said my name?\n\nMe: Yea.... it was just so real .... its ok I'll be ok\n\nJenny: Well let's get to work and I'll bring my meatloaf. \n\nWe got everything together and headed off to work. I kept thinking who could it be... who was it? I got to the station and was talking to Terry who was smashing the meatloaf Jenny made. I still felt nauseous from last night so I opt out of it. We were all filing paper work when Jenny asked\n\nJenny: Hey.. I seemed to have lost my pen... Can I borrow one of yours?\n\nMy heart sank... It can't be her... please god anyone but the person I love..Terry got up and handed her his pen. I texted the chief Jenny didn't have her pen and he told us to detain her NOW. So I stood up and nodded to Terry and he nodded back knowing what must be done. The chief walked in as we were arresting Jenny. \n\n Jenny: Babe what is going on?? \n\nChief: Jenny.... we have suspicion you are the Condiment killer.\n\nShe went without saying a word. During interrogation Terry walked in and I watched from behind the glass. \n\nTerry: Jenny why? Why do this\n\nJenny: I don't know I was just.... obsessed with death.. I can't stop thinking of it.. \n\nTerry: What did you do to the bodies... How did you poison them. \n\nJenny: Well the poison was easy to do... I just mixed it in with their condiments like mustard or ketchup etc. I then take the brains and mix it with my recipes. \n\nTerry: Wait you're telling me?\n\nJenny: yes... you and Mark and the rest of this place were eating people HAHHAAHAHAH\n\nShe began to laugh evilly. It sent chills down my spine and made me physically sick... how could someone do this.. We ate humans... god save us. \n\nTerry: I think this is... done.. \n\nTerry paused to catch his breath. \n\nJenny: Let me ask you something.. Terry. If you had ketchup that was a little to sweet and tickled your tongue would you stop eating? If you ate chicken wings and the hot sauce made your the back of your throat burn in an unusual way... would you question it.. \n\nTerry: (coughs up blood) yo...you bitc...\n\nJenny: Tell me Terry, do you know what poison tastes like \n\nI started to run and open the door as fast as possible.. It was locked so I was fumbling my keys.... I was so scared to lose my best friend... my partner.... By the time I got in there Terry was foaming at the mouth and convulsing... Jenny was still laughing... like a maniac... To this day I cannot eat any food unless I made it... I lost everything because of that bitch... Please, check your food because you don't know what poison tastes like.
## 41 Wolfeye has been regularly posting updates about the next patch to the [Weird West discord](https://discord.gg/WeirdWest), so I just wanted to list them here in case folks wanted to see if a particular bug they've been having has been fixed. I also organized it into categories so it's easier to find specific ones.\n\nNote that this may not be fully reflective of the final version of the patch. They may add more fixes or some may be removed as they continue working on it. From Wolfeye: "Our strategy is to release smaller but more frequent updates so you guys dont have to wait a month to get fixes and tweaks/changes."\n\n**Patch 1.01 (Release Date TBC - Current Target is: April 11th latest)**\n\n**Quality of life improvements**\n\n - You can now access your Companions and Horse inventory directly from the Shop UI to resell items directly from their inventory\n - Added an option so that player can transfer all junk items at once from their inventory to a companion, horse or container inventory\n - You can drop items from your inventory when browsing containers/NPCs inventory and opening your inventory side panel\n - Wanderers now also buy Junk Items to give more opportunities to resell such items while on the road\n - The game now cycles through 5 Auto Save Slots instead of 3, so you can more easily backtrack through save files if needed\n - Improved throwable weapons (eg dynamites etc) throw arc and speed so they are easier to use in combat and can easily be sent through door frames etc\n - Decreased HOLD time on Scrap Weapon interaction to be standard HOLD interact time to make it less annoying to scrap multiple weapons in a row\n - [GamePass] Game Pass PC Build now uses 10 Manual Save Slots like on Xbox (up from 5) so it matches for Save Roaming between both platforms\n - [Console] Added VIBRATION Option to Consoles to enable/disable Controller vibrations\n\n**Softlock fixes**\n\n - [Journey 01] Fixed issue where in rare cases, >!Essex Mast in Quickbend!< does not follow up with his blocking conversation when you free him, resulting in an objective blocker\n - [Journey 02] Fixed >!Canker and Fighting Pit Sigil!< being wrongly destroyed when using a generic Sigil to access a secondary Temple (the fix is retroactive and if the bug happened already to you, you will re-receive the missing Sigil upon entering >!the Fighting Pit/Canker!< or upon reloading a save in those locations)\n - [Journey 03] Fixed being able to bury companions in >!Olvidado's lair!<, resulting in not being able to access their corpse during the last Journey\n - [Journey 05] Fixed rare blocker bug where >!Pigman Hero would not go to destination!< during a specific objective \n\n**NPC AI**\n\n - Your Horse now stops if it was moving while if you attempt to search their Saddlebags (and Saddlebags wont auto close if they restart moving for whatever reasons, but will still auto close if you move away from your Horse)\n - Tuned distraction noise made by throwing props around so AIs will react to it from further away, allowing player more control over this system\n - Fixed Weapon Shops Guards being pulled to guard banks in Town instead of staying inside the Weapon Shop (also solves Deputies being inside the locked ransacked Bank at beginning of the game)\n \n**Posse**\n\n - The Protector Journey Hero recruited as a Companion will no longer wrongly quit your Posse when receiving friendly fire\n - Companions now auto use bandages they have in their inventory when their health drops below 40% (instead of the threshold being at 25%)\n\n**User Interface**\n\n - Bolt-Action Forester Rifles now have their correct icon in the Weapon Wheel\n - Fixed opening of the Shop UI sometimes wrongly auto selling a random item from Player inventory, if you pressed USE for too long when validating the choice "Browse Goods"\n - Fixed an issue with Keyboard+Mouse where you could not navigate the "Abilities" and "Perks" TAB of the Journal if you had used LMB on any of the Abilities or Perks\n - Fixed the Reputation Notification sometimes displaying a placeholder text\n - Fixed Ability Wheel not showing weapon abilities when having set AIMING to TOGGLE MODE and aiming with your weapon\n\n**Crafting**\n \n - Made it clearer on the Crafting UI which is the item you produce and which are the items needed\n - Fixed crafting of items not dropping crafted item at Player's Feet if player's inventory was full\n\n**Sidequests and Wild Encounters**\n\n - Fixed one of the Heathen Travel Encounters not triggering on a specific story path\n - Made all Bounty Targets Intro Line non blocking so that player doesnt get derailed by a blocking conversation while fighting or sneaking on their target\n - If you return a handcuffed Bounty Target, they only have a low chance of later jail breaking and starting a vendetta against you (was previously 100% when it should have been 15%)\n - Fixed issue with abandoned mine sometimes not being correctly populated with Sirens when using Sirens Scenario.\n - Fixed Easy Prey/Terror on the Trail side quests having their quest item disappearing if you entered the abandoned wagon location and re entered it prior to finding the item \n - Fixed Oneirist leaving location while talking with her about the cursed statuette during the Ritual travel encounter\n - Fixed Sheriff wrongly going hostile during the side quest where they open the cell after being bribed\n - Fixed Tanning Racks in Trapper Camps having nav mesh beneath them which could result in side quest NPCs spawning inside tanning racks and blocking side quest progression\n\n**Journey Specific**\n\n - [Journey 01] Fixed hole in bush area at starting point of Greenwood Run resulting in player getting unfairly detected\n - [Journey 01] Fixed >!finding husband in Bounty Hunter Journey without freeing him!<, and then >!returning to Galen's Crossing and completing local objectives prematurely!<, wrongly completing the Journey\n - [Journey 03] Fixed losing reputation when killing >!Ravenous!< at >!Galen's Crossing!<\n - [Journey 05] Fixed Documents, Relics, Keys, Golden Ace not transferring from 4th to 5th Hero\n\n**Misc**\n\n - Fixed Foliage/Bushes areas in Canyon Location to have less "holes" in them so player does not get surprised detected while walking hidden in the middle of a bush patch\n - Added Loading Hint about Companions not requiring Ammo to use ranged weapons\n - Fixed Rope being removed from player inventory everytime you reloaded into a location where you had attached the rope to a skylight
## 42 This was a long road because of personal experiences and huge interest into the human mind and conditions such as, **Sleep paralysis**, **Out of body experiences**, **Near death experiences**, **Religion**, work of **Mentalists**, **Schizophrenia**, **mental health**, **DMT trips**, **Ancient aliens**, **Ghost sightings**, **Alien abductions and hypnosis**. I've taken all of them into account and they perfectly relate to each other!\n\nWhether people like to hear this, Ancient aliens (Definitely) have something to do with what people used to call Angels, Fallen Angels, spirits, jinn's, ghost's, hybrids, Gods, honoring the stars. The parallels are being overlooked and too much ignored. \nToday we like to call them inter-dimensional beings, time travelers, aliens or hybrids, it maybe sounds more fancy and is true but it comes down with the same parallels.\n\nEver since I saw small electric light orbs near me in my previous house and already had huge interest in Aliens, I went researching this deeper to the point I came across this highly censored guy Dr. David Jacobs, he is a retired university Professor that put real abducted people under hypnosis for over 50 years, so abductees were able to tell what they saw during their encounter. \nHe is a skeptic, non religious, neither believes in conspiracies but looked straight into the world of the paranormal and his work must be acknowledged! \nFor over 50 years he put abductees under hypnotic regression and what they told him happening during an abduction is scarier then any horror movie out there and is understandable why the government doesn't want you to know about aliens, it will cause mass panic! [(Obama hinted at this)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp6Ph5iTIgc&ab_channel=TheLateLateShowwithJamesCorden)\n\nWhen I read his book [Walking Among Us: The alien plan to control humanity](https://archive.org/details/WalkingAmongUs/page/n7/mode/2up) (read first page) it caught me off guard and first thing I thought was ok. we're in trouble! \nWhat he discovered during 50 years of hypnotic regression research, Reptilians and Praying Mantis aliens are in charge of a humanoid hybridization program that take human DNA, seed or eggs or do operating procedures on them during an abduction. \nIf you mix all these 3 beings together you would get a Gray humanoid alien, the plan is to become fully looking humanoid through interbreeding and abduct people to walk among us as humans being able to mind control us like a mentalist. [Derren Brown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU6PqXUe39c&ab_channel=DerrenBrown) would make a very good example of being a hybrid as for [Lior Suchard](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J94uO-urSTg&t=187s&ab_channel=TheLateLateShowwithJamesCorden), [Nimrod Harel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg3my7-RsZI&ab_channel=nimrodharel), [Dan White](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q25kn317a2M&ab_channel=TheTonightShowStarringJimmyFallon) and more Mentalist's.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n[ Gray aliens are an earlier stage human hybrid.](https://preview.redd.it/lns171dwqbr81.jpg?width=819&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fb4bc2cb0a8225ec64bfa5b05955af9b5ff1902)\n\nI was fascinated that hybrids might be walking among us so did an intense research on the professor's work but could almost find no evidence apart from aliens being inside people's heads abducting them or human hybrids mind controlling people. \nThe only evidence I found of Dr. David Jacobs work are the works of Poltergeist shadows. Sharing visions, alter perception, moving objects with the mind, possess, mind control, talk in the head through telepathy etc. \nI realized after reading so much abduction encounters, that Poltergeist's are shadows without a body, Aliens are Poltergeist's with a body, they both have the same abilities and parallels, they appear to you dreamlike through neurological engagement, both smell like death bodies, smoke, or a foul smell. \nFor instance The Hat man shadow people see during SP would be the real Men in Black.\n\nIn an older post of mine you can read how abductions might work out it proofs we're living in a simulation: [Alien abductions, sleep paralysis and getting an out of body experience (Peter Khoury's case.) : aliens (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/t318av/alien_abductions_sleep_paralysis_and_getting_an/)\n\nIn this post you can see the goal of interbreeding based on real abductions: [https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/rn0iem/drawings\\_of\\_real\\_human\\_alien\\_hybrids\\_seen\\_during/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/rn0iem/drawings_of_real_human_alien_hybrids_seen_during/)\n\nI've gone digging deeper and went with the experiencers, instead of calling them crazy or mentally ill, I started connecting strange dots. I've listened to Schizophrenic episodes of people, Sleep paralysis and DMT experiences. \nPeople also see reptilians during Sleep paralysis and [Mantis aliens during DMT](https://wiki-entities.dmt-vision.net/category/entities/praying-mantis) trips I don't believe in coincidences. \nOld Sumerian religion or Biblical believes talk about Reptilian gods, serpents or Satan being a dragon. Also Locust beings with human faces from the smoke or fallen angels interbreeding creating hybrid offspring's that become mighty men are text from the old Testament.\n\nWhat I suspect is that the elites in power, some of them are from a hybrid alien bloodline and are into the occult doing soul exchange sacrifices where tunnels open from another dimension, most likely a Hellish place, is why [poltergeist shadows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GVUU90aPDU&list=LL&index=35&t=154s&ab_channel=ReallyHaunted) are roaming around waiting for a hybrid body to do his task's among us smelling foul. \nThis post is a bit behind the scenes of what David Icke also is trying to tell but never mentioned the [Mantoids](https://www.google.com/search?q=Mantoids&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiM5JOakPj2AhUN_6QKHUlpCSYQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1707&bih=859&dpr=2.25#imgrc=P7yYLutFVfoYLM) which are the most important ones regarding aliens.\n\nI really recommend to check the links I've added in the post and watch these movies for a better picture: **Rosemary's Baby**, **They live, The fourth Kind** and **Eyes Wide shut**.\n\nIf you need more info, ask me in the comments and I'll answer you with links.
## 43 Well, that was a heckuva way to end the week! Thanks for all of the birthday wishes on what\031s been the most positive day we\031re had since this group has been formed. The fact that the House is taking it up next week is a tremendous sea change from what we\031ve been experiencing for the past year. I promise you: **we wouldn\031t be in this position if it wasn\031t for the hard work and dedication of this group** and others calling/emailing/texting/meeting with their elected leaders. \n\nUnless you were hiding under a rock *(I wouldn\031t blame you)*, the good news is that the House is going to take this up next week. The text of the bill may be found here: \n\n[https://docs.house.gov/billsthisweek/20220404/BILLS-117HR3807IH-RCP117-39.pdf](https://docs.house.gov/billsthisweek/20220404/BILLS-117HR3807IH-RCP117-39.pdf)\n\n\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\n\nA great synopsis of the bill was written and posted here last night by our friends at the IRC, which I\031m copy/pasting below:\n\n*The House Rules Committee, which considers all bills before they go to the Floor for a vote, will meet on* ***Tuesday at 1:30 pm*** *to debate and make a rule for consideration of the bill.*\n\n*Once that is done, the* ***full House will consider the bill as early as Wednesday.***\n\n*At the end of next week, the House is leaving DC for a couple of weeks so* ***it will vote by Thursday*** *on this bill.* \n\n*The bill replenishes the RRF, specifically it will:*\n\n* *Provide $42 billion to fund all unfunded applications already in the portal and the administration of the program*\n* *Require SBA to provide more data and reports to Congress and the public about the program*\n* *Require all applicants still in the portal to certify they are still operating or intend to re-open within six months of the certification*\n* *Direct SBA to have a reconsideration process for denied applications*\n* *Give the SBA leeway to reduce grant size ONLY IF $42 billion is not enough to fully fund every application. We believe this is unlikely.*\n\n*In addition to refilling the restaurant program, the bill would also create a* ***new program for hard hit industries****. This new program would get $13 billion (on top of the $42 billion for restaurants). This new fund would be structured very similarly to RRF. In order to be eligible a business would:*\n\n* *Employ not more than 200 people*\n* *Suffer at least a 40% revenue loss for 2020 and 2021 as compared to 2019.*\n\n*Applicants to this program would be prioritized this way:*\n\n* *First priority to businesses with greater than 80% lost revenue*\n* *Second priority to businesses with more than 60% lost revenue*\n* *Third priority to businesses with 40% or more lost revenue*\n\n*Most of the rules of this new program follow RRF.*\n\n*While it is still very much an uphill battle in the Senate,* ***we have to make sure this bill passes in the House this week*** *with broad bipartisan support to have any chance of success.*\n\n\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\024\n\n*\034So* u/cjs230*, it seems like we\031re in a pretty good position now&when do I get my money????\035* Au contraire mon frère. We are **BY NO MEANS** out of the woods. While I feel confident it will pass the House, the Senate is **FAR** from a sure thing. Have you heard that we have ten Republican Senators as co-sponsors? I haven\031t. **Let\031s get \030em**. \n\n*\034Ok, got it. What can I do to help??\035* I thought you\031d never ask! Let\031s go over it in bullet point format:\n\n&#x200B;\n\n* We\031re going to focus on the House of Reps today. We need a strong bi-partisan showing in the House to put pressure on the Senate to act. Passing by a few votes in the House won\031t get us there. \n* Here\031s the 234 co-sponsors for H.R. 3807: [https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/3807/cosponsors?r=2&s=1](https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/3807/cosponsors?r=2&s=1) \n* Here is a list of **all House Rep\031s contact info**: [https://www.house.gov/representatives](https://www.house.gov/representatives) \n * You can sort by state or by last name. \n * If your Rep is a co-sponsor, please call them and let them know how much you appreciate their support. If they\031re not, please ask them to vote \030yes\031 for H.R. 3807 next week and save mom and pop restaurants across the country. \n * If they mention that they\031re a co-sponsor or are supporting the ENTREE ACT, H.R. 4568, please inform them that **H.R. 3807 is the bill that\031s being voted on,** there are payfors discussed within the bill, and to please consider moving their support over to H.R. 3807, as that\031s the bill that\031s moving. \n* Please keep things **positive**. We don\031t need any more name calling, heckling, overall negativity. If you don\031t think we\031re gonna get funded and we\031re all morons for attempting to, just tell your mirror how you\031re feeling. If a Senator isn\031t gonna co-sign and you're irritated, just share us the info and we\031ll move on. \n\nSo, should you have to make these calls and emails? No, you shouldn\031t. You should be able to focus on work. But we have to make these calls and emails to maximize the opportunity that has presented itself.\n\nIt\031s taken an incredible amount of hard work to get to this point. Even though this is taking forever, there\031s been a **tremendous amount of bi-partisan support in both the House and the Senate** that has allowed us to get a vote in the House next week. Unfortunately, we need more. \n\nOne of the most important things is **sharing the info you\031ve received**. If it\031s HUGE intel, please create a new post. Otherwise, please share the info as a comment to my daily posts. It keeps things organized and focused so we can work efficiently as a \030street team\031. The next two weeks obviously are going to be massive. It\031s not conjecture at this point: the wheels are turning. Let\031s put ourselves in the best position possible and use all of the arrows in our quiver. \n\nI\031m proud of the group, I\031m so thankful we have a shot at this, and I can\031t wait to visit as many of your restaurants as possible over the next decade! If y'all are in Michigan, you better visit mine! I'll have a 'Replenisher' waiting at the bar for you!!\n\n**LET\031S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
## 44 SA and ED (eating disorder) Trigger warning for farther down.\n\nThrowaway account.\n\nPlease excuse any formatting/smelting/punctuation errors.\n(I left the autocorrect...perfect timing...well played auto-correct goblin).\n\nI apologize for the forthcoming wall of text. I've never been able to share this with anyone who actually gets it. My husband tries to be supportive, it's just not enough sometimes. I need validation from someone who's ridden this particular wave of tears.\n\nI (F50) have been NC with my parents for almost 8 years. I was LC for many years starting as a teen. \n\nJust for some backstory, I was raised in a very Mormon household by incredibly strict parents. There wasn't any physical abuse, such as hitting, but I did find myself pinned against the wall, by my father, a few times while he *quietly* threatened to "knock my teeth out" (or something similar) with his face about 3 inches from mine. I was terrified of him. I absolutely had been "disrespectful" and rebellious, and that didn't make it ok. I was frequently told how disappointed he was in me but that hit a whole new level when I ended up a pregnant teen. This happened after I was hospitalized for an extended period of time in an eating disorder program. That specific hospital stay was after I had been sexually assaulted and stopped eating to cope. Id been told that kids wouldnt be in my future, so the pregnancy was a huge surprise. I married the dad and became a teen bride and mother.\n\nDuring all of this, my mother was "keeping me in her prayers." Emotionally speaking, my mom is...I don't know...words like stunted, surface, and stand-offish. You know, not exactly cold, more like 'you should bring a sweater' chilly. It's like the emotional part of her got stuck at 8 or 9, and her kids had to protect her from the realities of the world. When stuff happened to me, she couldn't even really acknowledge it. She did send me to therapy after the assault, which is to her credit I guess. There was the ED program too, but that was more from my dr insisting on it. After I had the baby, I wasn't allowed back home because "I made the decision and now I have to deal with the consequences." (I can't imagine saying that to my kids, like, wtf?). \n\nIt took a long time to understand that the pangs I have when thinking about her were based on a version of her that I needed as a kid; basically a character I made up. \n\nAfter a divorce, leaving the church, another marriage, and having a few more kids, I went back to church (such a bad decision). Under the guidance of church leaders I tried to reconcile with my parents and siblings. Things were "fine" as long as I was the one being responsible for contacting, helping, and supporting everyone. I'm so sad for then-me, trying so hard to be perfect and find acceptance and love. (If anyone reading this is there right now, I feel you, it's exhausting, *internet hug for support*.)\n\nNo surprise, my mental health was in the toilet. Weird health issues started popping up and I found myself on a multitude of medications, for that and for the mental stuff. I went crazy for a while. Eventually, I stopped the meds, quit the church, dealt with some pretty beefy inner demons. That's when I started having horrible nightmares and weird moments of almost remembering things that triggered dissociative episodes. Slowly, I remembered being dropped of at another lds family's house. They had lots of kids, as well as an adult scumbag that loved to prey on kids. I even remembered telling my mother about it...and she didn't believe me. When I brought all of this up to my parents, that was the last time I heard from them until they sent checks for Christmas, a year later. We'd shredded the checks. My parents showed up out of nowhere, my father aggressively pushing his way into the house and demanded to know if we'd disposed of the checks properly. He furthercdemanded having access to his grandkids. We all hid in our rooms while my husband made them leave. \n\n8 years later, I receive an email from my father titled "an apology." He talked a lot about how he felt bad about the "mistakes he made with me as a kid." Some of it seemed kind of self aware, and I know that change is possible, so I took a chance and wrote back. I let him know that the stuff from when I was a kid was problematic, but the real issues happened 8 years ago. I laid out the timeline of learning about the childhood abuse and them just disappearing and how damaging that was. He replied that they were glad I've gotten help for my mental health issues, but they were always supportive, and I obviously misunderstood what happened...oh and also, they want a relationship with me and my family. I thought I'd prepared myself, but nope, it still felt like a gut-punch. \n\nThat was officially it for me. Never again. I feel so dumb for even hoping...which is infuriating because I *like* the hopeful, optimistic part of myself. \n\nOn to the issue (finally...sorry, I didn't realize all of that was in there). \n\nI have been talking to my siblings more. We're never going to be the "ride or die" gang that we were told we were growing up, but I do love them. I maintain strong boundaries and don't expect much. Also, I try to not care. I've built my own one-for-all gang and it's more awesome than I could have imagined. To get there, it took an enormous amount of work, mostly on myself...seriously, so much. My family had to work on healing as well. I'm really proud of where we're at.\n\nOne sibling has a spouse that maintains fairly LC with the rest of my family. After reconnecting with my brother, she reached out and invited me to her baby shower, where my mother will also be...and my father drives my mother. Easy, don't go, right? I would tell someone else to stay home and be honest about why. I'd say, offer to be there otherwise. That sounds good. \n\nProblem is, this is one of those make-or-break moments. I'm almost positive that if I don't go, that'll make it very difficult to have any kind relationship with my brother and his wife in the future. I don't know if that's even in the cards, but the thought of blowing up that bridge, for good, makes me want to just weep. He's a great guy, even if he's still brain-washed. Maybe he'll manage to also get out and we can connect. \n\nIt seems so stupid to gamble on a maybe. What's my problem? Why is this so hard? How can this still hurt so much?\n\nEdit: words are hard
## 45 \nSo I met her last Friday, we met on a bar, talked and had some AMAZING chemistry, we were (are?) on the same page on LOTS of stuff and did a nice match, to the point were we talked up to 3 AM in the bar\n\nShe asked me to drive her home, I gladly did even tho she lived like 35 minutes away, she didn\031t ask me to come in and I didn\031t either, we\031re in college age and none of us has a place of our own, so hookups with parents literally next room aren\031t really an option\n\nAnd I legitimately had to to work the next day\n\nThen on the next day she messages me first on Instagram, sends me some cute love poems or something and we have a nice chat\n\nI realized she left her sweater in my car and let her know on the chat, she says \n\n\034Oh nice! Perfect excuse to meet up again \035\n\nAnd I told her\n\n\034True, you\031re free on Thursday? Let\031s meet up\035 (This next Thursday, 7th)\n\nAnd she says \n\n\034Yes :\017\035 and replies to me about other stuff we were talking about at the same time\n\nAnd then I reply her to the yes a \034=\001=\001\035 and reply about the other stuff we were talking about and&.\n\nSeen\n\nIt\031s been more than 24 hrs since that seen\n\nAnd here\031s the thing, I WANT to pick her up in her home, I want to drive her to this nice spot I take my dates to, I want to pay her check and drive her back home, I want to give her her sweater back, and she said yes\n\nBut then left on seen and killed the chat herself\n\nMy beta side wants to ask her again, \034sO I\031ll bE piCkiNg yOu Up aT x-time, is ThAt FiNE?\035\n\nBut my other side says \034fuck this, I left the cards on the table, if she wants them she\031ll take them\035\n\nI haven\031t texted her back, I haven\031t double messaged or tried to circumvent the \034seen\035\n\nI want to stand my ground and hope she messages me back\n\nI\031m thinking if she DOES want to meet up and wants to get her sweater back she\031ll message again, and even tho I WANT to message her, I wont, and if she wants to ghost me and literally lose her sweater, her loss, not mine\n\nI want to meet up again because she wants it too, not because I insisted\n\nAm I doing the right thing?
## 46 I have, for the most part, enjoyed the series so far - Rand's struggle with being the Dragon is really interesting, and I like the overall storyline. But the characters are just so, so, *so* stupid, and so much of the conflict in the story seems to arise from their stupidity. (side note - apologies if my spelling is bad, I'm an audiobook listener).\n \nWhy the flying fuck would Rand give his real name when he reached Caihrien? And tell the watch where he was going? And why the hell would he even leave his apartment? He basically has the fate of the world in there with him. Any reasonable person would stay in there all day, every day until their allies showed up, maybe sending Hiren to check for them in the city once a day. But instead they go walking around like they don't have a care in the world, with Rand flaunting his flamboyant dress all the while. He bitches about the coat constantly, and it's the source of the attention on him - why the hell doesn't he just buy a peasant one, or borrow one of Hiren's? This whole sequence was so full of plot induced stupidity it took me out of the book completely. \n \nThen, our four main heroines get told some BS lies by Liandran, and instead of confirming with anybody (KNOWING the woman is antagonistic towards the one sedai they sort of trust) they just happily follow along and let themselves be captured. I am aware of the possibility that Liandran didn't really betray them, and there was something else going on there, but that doesn't change how absurd that was from the girls' perspective. Then during the escape from the Seanchan - after freeing Egwaine, while they're still in her prison room... they just sit around gossiping, like they're back home, instead of getting the fuck out of dodge. And finally, the capstone on the endless series of character stupidity, Egwaine completely needlessly blows up a quarter block of the town just to make sure every Seanchan is aware of them escaping (this is the final straw and what prompted me to make this post so please no spoilers of what happens next!). It just seems like the author is trying to put more conflict into the story and this is the only way he could think of to do so. By the characters being absolute thundering idiots. \n \nAs an aside - I'd like to know if I'm misinterpreting the main villain Ba'alzamon (looked that one up, lol). He shows up periodically, says some generic evil shit ("you will be mine!" "you will serve me!" "you will die!" etc. etc.) and that's pretty much it. He's more or less spent the first two books failing to accomplish literally anything and getting his ass kicked by a few farm boys over and over. I'm having a hard time understanding how I'm supposed to be even remotely intimidated by him. He seems like a generic dark lord prototype, except without any of the fear that they usually produce (like a version of Sauron except Sauron is, like, an idiot). I'm wondering if there's something bigger going on with him for which I should suspend my utter lack of interest in him. \n \nAnyway, sorry for the wall of text. Really, the true problem is that I genuinely like the story - it's really interesting, and when they aren't being absurdly stupid the characters are compelling enough for me to want to root for them. If I weren't into the story as much as I am I would have just dropped the book, and not cared enough to make this post. But I'm hoping someone can give me a reason to overlook all of these problems without spoiling anything. Thanks!
## 47 I was the gen ed teacher for an ARD (IEP meeting) today where the student had gotten 90s in all his classes. Except mine, where he had a 28 (5th social studies). I have no idea how he\031s getting such high grades, the kid reads at a 1st grade level and his writing is completely illegible. He doesn\031t understand basic ELA concepts.\n\nWhy a 28? Because he waits until the last minute to complete assignments, doesn\031t watch the lesson, and guesses on the quizzes (I use a lot of Google Forms because of the ease of importing grades).\n\nI was told privately by an admin that I should give my SPED students at least a 70 because the paperwork and processes for dealing with a failing student is more than I need to worry about. I\031m seeing red about this. It is doing these kids a disservice to just pass them along because you don\031t want to deal with fucking paperwork. They\031re not learning anything by it, and they\031re not going to get a pass on the 8th grade STAAR when they don\031t know the material.\n\nIf teachers did this with my kid, I\031d be livid. My own 8th grader (also a SPED student) is currently failing several classes because he doesn\031t do his work. Ya know what I do? I get on his case and make him do it. I know my kid is smart and capable of the work, he chooses not to do it, and gets graded accordingly. Then he loses privileges until he gets his grade up because that\031s how he learns to do his work.\n\nStop coddling these kids because it\031s too much work to do right by them. And for sure as hell don\031t reprimand the one teacher who is trying to teach them responsibility.\n\nEdit: I want to address some misconceptions here. I did not mention the student\031s accommodations, differentiated instruction, etc., because that\031s not relevant to me being upset with an admin who said to give a higher grade because they don\031t want to do paperwork.\n\nAlso, some in the comments are confusing modifications with accommodations. You absolutely cannot *modify content* unless specifically stated in the IEP, and none of my students have that in their IEP. Meaning you can\031t not teach grade level content. For example, I teach ELAR and SS. I cannot teach only social and community material (1-2 grade) to my students, because my grade level is learning U. S. History.\n\nI can differentiate the *instruction* by providing text at a lower Lexile level as long as it has the same *content* I\031m teaching to the GenEd students.\n\nThe last thing I wanted to address was something I mentioned in the comments but didn\031t want to go into here because it\031s hard to explain: There are three kiddos in my class (him included) who do not receive SS instruction in my class. I\031ve CYA\031d and documented up the wazoo about this. Basically they\031re supposed to get SS instruction from their resource teacher who is supposed to be modifying the lessons. Then they do the assignments and I grade them. It\031s so frustrating.
## 48 Let me preface by saying I love that this community exists. No one wants to be here willingly, but it's so nice to see the support that this community offers one another. \n\nI am 32F with PCOS, AMH 2.08 (seems pretty low for PCOS / age). After 2 years of TTC, 6 rounds of timed intercourse, a missed miscarriage, a hysteroscopy for retained tissue, a chemical pregnancy, and a failed IUI - I am **finally** starting IVF. It's been a long time coming, but....I'm not excited. \n\nI know people have been through situations worse than mine. I know that. But, I am so sad all the time. I'm holding onto a lot of anger surrounding my situation. I have literally no hope going into this IVF cycle. I'm already preparing myself for the failure. I am terrified. \n\nWhile I've been having this already horrible day, I got an unsolicited "We have news to share" text from an old friend and I LOST MY MIND. Literally LOST IT. I haven't been able to stop crying all day. \n\nJust posting this to get it off my chest. If anyone else is losing their mind, know you're not alone.
## 49 Most of the texts here complain about problems they are having with their masks. I started out really motivated to make mine work. Now, about 3 months later I\031ve completely given up. I\031m using a full face mask. I tried the nose option but it was even worse. I wake up with air streaming out of the mask and a mouth so dry that it takes a few sips of water just to get it wet enough to get working again. Please someone post some success stories.
## 50 **TL;DR: Comment if you want me to write a post addressing you by your neos at some unspecified point in the future by which you would've forgotten you even commented.**\n\nSome 20 days ago, our good friend Bunny \024 /u/Cawcaw_mother_fucker cakeself \024 made a post about how much cake enjoys [vanillaself](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/ts47va/worried_about_neos_causing_confusion_consider/) when replying to tryout posts: it seems vanilla gets the warm-and-fuzzies from helping other neopronoun users, and it also finds writing its own little tryout replies to be a very fun creative exercise.\n\nAnd good on xem, [but I feel a bit differently,](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/thkdqf/anyone_else_really_like_using_peoples_pronouns_in/i18go37/) for as much as I want to affirm my fellow neo users just like xe does.\n\nAnd since my own comment on that post ended up being the top one, I feel like there might be some demand for the "random acts of affirmation" it described: tagging somebody like the aforementioned Arrow when warm least expects it, and using warms neopronouns.\n\nBecause as I'm sure most of us have experienced, it can be rather difficult to get others to use our neopronouns. Bunny softself can probably count the number of times soft has been called by softs neos on softs own two hands.\n\nAnd this difficulty of getting affirmed means that a lot of us neo users probably feel a bit ["uchkuduk"](https://youtu.be/Ch7dqP1wrOM), as I like to say: finally getting our neos affirmed feels like drinking from a well after thirsting on a desert caravan for God knows how long. And so getting caught off guard for one of the rarest forms of affirmation? It'll make your day, I'm sure. It's made my own day in the past. Hopefully it'll make Arrow's. Random neo affirmation is the sort of affirmation that might help you get through a tough day, right?\n\nBut aside from this, random neo affirmation can also be more useful form of "pronoun testing" than a simple tryout post. You get to experience how it actually feels to be referred to using a neopronoun, pants down as it were. And you might get to see if a particular neopronoun might be more prone to ambiguity or misinflection than other pronoun sets, or if a pronoun still "sounds right" when it's used not in fill-in-the-blank sentences but in an actual meaningful text.\n\nFor instance, I found while writing this post that the nounselves that Bunny uses for batterself might be more prone to ambiguity compared to batters other pronouns, since most of batters nounselves are based on [uncountable nouns](https://www.reddit.com/r/neopronouns/comments/tcwugy/how_do_you_tell_the_difference_between/i0gcjd0/); but batters adjectiveselves tended to be less prone to ambiguity. Not to say that Arrow *shouldn't* use any of pies nounselves for pieself, but these sorts of grammar-y things may be worth keeping in mind if pie wishes to use pies nounselves outside of certain LGBT+ netspaces.\n\nAnyways, the point I'm getting at is that I'm thinking that probably as an opt-in thing, I can try making posts where I just talk about a neopronoun user, using as many of xyr neos as possible. It's free affirmation and pronoun testing; we get to see the different personalities of the neopronoun community; and I get to ramble about neopronouns, as has evidently become a habit of mine.\n\n[And posts would even come with an audio version.](https://voca.ro/1fMPHppwcYCa) Maybe that'll incentivize me to feminize my voice.\n\nHow's that sound?
## 51 I am sixteen and just started going back to school in person at the beginning of this school. I had come out during quarantine and was pretty scared about how my friends would react. But one of my friends (We'll call her M) was a lesbian and had been out for a while, so that made me a bit more comfortable. \n\nThe first thing I thought when I saw that friend on the first day of school was, "Oh shit. I never realized how attractive she was." \nI soon realized I had a huge crush on her.\n\nUnfortunately, it turns out one of my 'friends' (L) was super homophobic. Now me and my severe depression weren't too happy about that. I started barely ever going to school, I would've gotten kicked out if I didn't have an IEP. Anyway, a third friend of mine (A) would tell me every day I was gone how much M missed me because he knew I liked her.\n\nA kept trying to get me and M together and one day M invited me to her birthday party. I told A and he was freaking out, tbh I was too but I was trying to stay cool. The only problem was I couldn't go because I had to go to my cousin's birthday party (I never realized how many people were born in February). I was obviously super disappointed by this, but my mom being the amazing mother she is had a great idea, she said I should take her to the movies.\n\nAbout a week later I told her about this bet I had with my cousin (who is nine btw). I told her if I didn't get a girlfriend within the next three months I'd lose. So she offered to be my fake girlfriend, of course, I agreed. And of course, when I told A he freaked out again.\n\nSo flash forward three weeks, it's time. My mom was driving us because neither of us can drive, which kinda sucked but whatever. First, we got lunch and I paid, then I paid for the concessions at the movie. It literally felt like a date, but of course, I didn't get my hopes up.\n\nWhen we dropped her off at home she asked me to walk her up to the door, which I did. When I got back into the car my mom very calmly said, \n"You two were flirting."\n\nI denied it, at least I denied that she was flirting with me.\n\nThen I had to go to my nine-year-old cousin's house for *her* birthday party. Btw this was a different cousin, I have a really big family. I was texting M this whole time in the car and at the party. I was sitting on my aunt's couch just texting her for a long time.\n\nNow, I'm very lucky that I have a very supportive family. A lot of people in my family are actually LGBTQ. For example, my brother, my nine-year-old cousin, my uncle, my aunt, and my aunt's boyfriend are all bisexual. \n\nSo anyway, soon enough my cousin started reading all the texts out loud over my shoulder, which made her realize that M was only my fake girlfriend. She kept reading and people actually started coming into the room to listen, like they all sat down with their snacks and just listened to this conversation. People would occasionally shout out things for me to say, I mostly didn't say what they told me to though. At one point I told them it wasn't a big deal and she didn't like me, about half the people shouted, \n"She is FLIRTING with you!"\n\nEventually, I told M that my cousin found out we weren't actually dating. I said if I didn't find a girlfriend soon I was going to lose the bet. She said something about us being two of the only openly queer girls in school.\n\nMy mom told me to say, "Well then..." So as a joke I typed that out but before I could delete it my cousin reached over and hit send. I literally threw my phone because I was freaking out. Once my aunt handed it back to me there were another five minutes before I got a response.\n\nWhen I tell you the tension in the room could be cut with a knife, I mean it. It seemed like no one was even breathing till the notification went off and everyone instantly started asking what it said. I read it out loud, \n"Well..."\n\nWe went back and forth saying awkward stuff like "well" and "I mean" until my brother said,\n\n"I swear to god (my name), just ask her out!"\n\nI sent a text that said *Do you wanna be my real girlfriend then*?\n\nAgain, the room was quiet. It felt like forever before the text came through. This time my cousin read it, \n*I mean do you want to be mine?*\n\nI said *If you want to be mine*\n\nThis was it, if I thought it was tense before that was nothing compared to this. Then the text came through, \n*I do, I've liked you for a while now.*\n\nI was silent. I didn't say anything, everyone was staring at me waiting. My cousin took the phone out of my hand and read the text.\n\nThe best way to describe what happened next is probably like how die-hard sports fans react when their team wins a big game. People were going crazy. Screaming, jumping, shaking me. It was insane.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnyway, that's it. Just thought you guys would wanna hear my very gay story that sounds like it was pulled straight from Wattpad. Sorry for it being so long.
## 52 She had a profile picture and was really pretty and just texted me regarding a post i had made. I had never received a random message from a girl that\031s not my friend and i got a feeling of euphoria and it kinda turned me on. Every time i imagine a girl trying to hit on me it gets my blood rushing. \n\nHowever i don\031t think I\031m lesbian maybe just a fantasy of mine, I\031m not sure. I was wondering if this is normal?
## 53 Killing time until v2.0, so I thought I'd show off a new design of mine. Rate my new magneto-plasma era dreadnought, the [Invincible](https://i.imgur.com/cnekKvY.png), built to reinforce my carriers in an ongoing game.\n\nIn text form:\n\n Invincible class Dreadnought (P) 48,000 tons 1,379 Crew 10,063.8 BP TCS 960 TH 2,400 EM 14,280\n 5000 km/s Armour 5-117 Shields 476-571 HTK 311 Sensors 8/8/0/0 DCR 40 PPV 278.68\n Maint Life 2.41 Years MSP 5,241 AFR 461% IFR 6.4% 1YR 1,236 5YR 18,547 Max Repair 600 MSP\n Commander Control Rating 4 BRG AUX ENG FLG \n Intended Deployment Time: 24 months Morale Check Required \n \n Korovin-Kiselyov N800 MP Drive (6) Power 4800 Fuel Use 26.83% Signature 400.0 Explosion 10%\n Fuel Capacity 3,094,000 Litres Range 43.2 billion km (100 days at full power)\n Ström Defence Systems E119/571 Deflector Field (4) Recharge Time 571 seconds (0.8 per second)\n \n Norton-Lamb D12/40 Particle Lance (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 37-5 ROF 40 \n Norton-Lamb D6/15 Particle Beam (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 15-5 ROF 15 \n Norton-Lamb D4/10 Particle Beam (5) Range 240,000km TS: 5,000 km/s Power 10-5 ROF 10 \n Claude Kinetics Twin D3/5 Gauss Turret Mk II (8x6) Range 30,000km TS: 16000 km/s Power 0-0 RM 30,000 km ROF 5 \n Hou R64-S16 Targeting System (2) Max Range: 64,000 km TS: 16,000 km/s 84 69 53 38 22 6 0 0 0 0\n Hou R256-S5 Targeting System (3) Max Range: 256,000 km TS: 5,000 km/s 96 92 88 84 80 77 73 69 65 61\n Marlin-Kamathi S-Fusion 30 (2) Total Power Output 60.7 Exp 10%\n Marlin-Kamathi S-Fusion 15 (1) Total Power Output 15.3 Exp 15%\n \n Medrano Electronics G48 Naval Detection System (1) GPS 4800 Range 51.3m km Resolution 100\n Medrano Electronics G32 Missile Detection System (1) GPS 32 Range 9m km MCR 812.4k km Resolution 1\n Medrano Electronics E8 Sensor (1) Sensitivity 8 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 22.4m km\n Medrano Electronics T8 Sensor (1) Sensitivity 8 Detect Sig Strength 1000: 22.4m km\n\n\nLet me know what you think!\n\nEDIT: for reference, I'm 13 years in!
## 54 I did this & I wanted to hear the stories of other people who may of too, bc I figured other's must've done the same. Can't be the only one to do something so simple with a game of this following, right? Or hopefully not, at least.\n\nFor me, I married Shane because he reminded me of a friend of mine who I had begun missing sorely when I started playing Stardew Valley. The two of us hadn't been friends for roughly a year at that time, and I missed him a lot. He had just come back to my hometown and I was debating reaching out, and after realizing I missed this dude so much I married the mini-pixilated version of him in a video game just to feel like we were friends again, I got the nerve to text him and tell him I missed him. We became friends again, after that.
## 55 It\031s a very hard pill to swallow how much I lack the skills to actually live a decent life. \nI had expectations growing up I wouldn\031t hold too much meaning and my dose of happiness to love but that was just big talk I guess. Maybe cause my home wasn\031t \034lovely\035 or fair, cause that would mean I could detach from the reality I long for. \n\nTo be cared for, to be loved and to not feel scared or doubts by what comes next. To get that family life I didn\031t had. There\031s not really anything that could have compensated that. \nNot the stupid materialistic gifts my parents gave me or my past relationships. \n\nMaybe I did that cause that would mean in my own twisted way I would face reality. Cause truth be told, I will end up getting used by most people.\n\nThere\031s a lot of good fish in the sea but also a strong amount of plastic. \n\nNot to mention sharks and other predators. Have you ever seen killer whales hunt? They play with their prey. \n\nAnd life feels like I\031m the prey surrounding by killer whales in the big ocean. It\031s me, who\031s wrong. I shouldn\031t be thinking that life has so much \034great\035 to offer to me. \n\nI long for your arms that never wrapped around me, those late night talks that never actually got further than texting and to see those eyes I can\031t help but feel drawn to while I want mine to be tucked away. \n\nI don\031t think you understand. \nLife\031s cruel for those who lack. \nI lack too much to give. \nThat\031s what was the ordeal of you not wanting to be with me, isn\031t it? \n\nTell me it\031s all in my head if I\031m wrong. Tell me the pain shouldn\031t be there. Tell me I\031m worth a damn shot. \n\nOr tell me to fuck off or something like that. I\031m used to it. Maybe I need to have the full blown so I can move on. I don\031t know. \n\nTake care.
## 56 #Happy Tuesday, Barkada --\r\n\r\n#The PSE gained 10 points to 7163 ²0.1%\r\n\r\nThank you to everyone that celebrated MB's 9000th subscriber with me yesterday. The back-pats and high-fives feel great, though I still (deep down) feel like I'm just doing the same thing as I've always done: wake up, drink coffee, read disclosures, and write about them. I think the thing that has really changed is the growth of the community around the daily updates. All of the tips, comments, questions, and discussion on Reddit, Twitter, Discord, and Facebook... that's something special.\r\n\r\nThank you to **Gary Manalo**, **Carlos de Guzman**, **Jing**, **MoreDan20**, **Louie boy**, **Chip Sillesa**, **JET**, **Joe Latham**, **Krml #LeniKiko2022**, and **psestocktipsdaily** for the "grats", and to /u/**Kobe24PaulGeorge** for the hilarious suggestion that I should have used a [Vegeta "over 9000!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik) meme... missed opportunities. haha\r\n\r\nThank you, Barkadans, for your support, and for your participation in the MB community!\r\n\r\nShout-outs to Spyfrat's Call, Carlos de Guzman, Gary Manalo, Je Orolfo, G, Joe Gambiste, Jonathan Burac, Pao, Jose Mateo, Stephen Chiong, Joe Latham, psestocktipsdaily, Just\031n, Miguel R. Camus, Palaboy Trader, meloi, Rolex Jodieres, Evolves Capital, Inc., Lance Nazal, Chip Sillesa, and Jing for the retweets, and to Evolves.co and Mike Ting for the FB shares.\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>[In today's MB](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility):\r\n\r\n- **Philex Mining** \034adjusts the timetable\035 of its SRO because of \034\035current market volatility\035\r\n- **Megawide** ready to re-apply for NAIA Rehabilitation project when the administration changes next quarter\r\n- **PLUS:** Quick takes on **ROCK**, **CREIT**, and **MEDIC**\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>[Daily meme](https://i.imgur.com/bY7BxoZ.jpg) | [Subscribe (it's free)](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1&utm_source=mb) | [Today's email](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility)\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Top 3 MB indices:\r\n Hedgy Metal ²2.64%\r\n Fast Food ²2.36%\r\n MiddleClass ²0.97%\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Bottom 3 MB indices:\r\n POGO Gaming ¼1.17%\r\n Connectivity ¼0.68%\r\n Logistics ¼0.55%\r\n\r\n#<U+008C>Main stories covered:\r\n\r\n>- **[UPDATE] Philex Mining \034adjusts the timetable\035 of its SRO because of \034\035current market volatility\035...** Philex Mining [PX 5.38 ¼0.92%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=11183ce6783835b03470cea4b051ca8f)], Manny V. Pangilinan\031s copper/gold/silver mining and exploration company, announced yesterday that it will \034further adjust the timetable\035 of its stock rights offering (SRO) to \034a later date\035 because of \034current market volatility\035. PX said that it came to this decision with its issue manager, BDO Capital, to \034ensure [the SRO\031s] success\035. Back in January, PX announced the SRO as a way for it to partially fund development of its Silangan Mine (copper/gold), and PX\031s CFO, Romeo Bachoco, said that, \034This is a significant indication that Philex, as parent company of SMECI and SMMCI, is committed to get this project going.\035 At the time of the original announcement, PX had been in discussions with foreign investors to raise the money but opted for the SRO to signal to existing shareholders, potential investors, and banks that PX \034believes strongly in the feasibility of the Silangan Project.\035\r\n> - ***MB:*** *MVP has head-faked the markets before in order to increase his \034best alternative to a negotiated agreement\035 value while negotiating with foreign investors. It\031s law/business school 101. Most recently was when he threatened to take Metro Pacific Hospitals public back in late 2019, after failing to negotiate a satisfactory valuation for an investment in Metro Pacific\031s [MPI 3.78 ²1.34%] prized business unit with American private equity firms. He filed for an IPO to raise a huge chunk of money, then quickly signed [investment agreements with KKR and GIC](https://www.cnnphilippines.com/business/2019/10/15/Metro-Pacific-Hospital-IPO-plan.html#:~:text=Metro%20Manila%20(CNN%20Philippines%2C%20October,to%20raise%20%E2%82%B135.3%20billion.) and canceled the IPO. Here, while it\031s an SRO and not an IPO, the context of the equity raise is similar: MVP negotiating with foreign parties for an equity raise, cancels the equity raise in a \034table flip\035 kind of move, and then... well, so far we don\031t have resolution for what will happen with PX, but my bet is that those plans still need funding, regardless of how \034volatile\035 the markets are. And I bet PX still wants to signal all those positive things to existing shareholders, potential investors, and banks. I don\031t have any inside info or whisper-wire info on this, but I guess what I\031m saying is that I wouldn\031t be surprised to learn in the coming weeks that PX has signed on a few foreign investors. Again, I don\031t have any special info on this, I\031m just tracking the news against past behavior to see if this pattern fits the established modus operandi of Mr. Pangilinan\031s negotiation style.*\r\n\r\n>- **[NEWS] Megawide ready to re-apply for NAIA Rehabilitation project when the administration changes next quarter...** Megawide [MWIDE 5.20 ²0.19%] [[link](https://www.philstar.com/business/2022/04/05/2172233/megawide-wants-another-shot-naia-ugrade-project)] said that it was prepared to resubmit its unsolicited proposal for the NAIA Rehabilitation project, worth around ±109 billion, \034If the new administration is interested.\035 MWIDE and its partner, India-based GMR Infrastructure Ltd (GMR), originally submitted the proposal in 2020 after the megazord consortium of local billionaires failed to convert its bid into a successfully-negotiated contract with the government. The MWIDE/GMR bid quickly gained front-runner status by being awarded the coveted \034original proponent status\035, but then, later, after some odd bits of messaging from the Department of Finance and the Department of Transportation, the government revoked MWIDE/GMR\031s special status and effectively ignored the bid and canceled the project. Less than a year later, MWIDE and GMR executives were indicted by the Ombudsman in relation to allegations of violating the Anti-Dummy Law in their operation of the Mactan\023Cebu International Airport. That legal process is still on-going and unresolved to this day.\r\n> - ***MB:*** *The rise and fall of MWIDE\031s NAIA proposal was so strange that it almost requires the presence of some mustache-twirling \034vested interests\035 pulling strings behind the scenes to make sense of how or why it could possibly go the way that it went. Who are those vested interests? It\031s hard to say, but it\031s been pretty clear since MWIDE/GMR won that original proponent status that their potential success had caught someone\031s attention. Will that person or group still be in a position of authority when the administration changes after the election? I don\031t know. Will the cases against the MWIDE and GMR executives continue to be pressed once the administration changes hands in a few months? Same answer. For MWIDE to openly discuss the continued pursuit of this project, however, tells me at least that they think a change in administration might dramatically alter the situation behind the scenes in their favor. At least I hope that\031s the case, otherwise, this kind of thing might just attract additional (unwanted) attention. Guess we\031ll just have to wait and see.*\r\n\r\n>- **[NOTES] Quick takes from around the market...**\r\n> - **Rockwell Land** [ROCK 1.48 unch] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=a00266a60a19b7cd3470cea4b051ca8f)] board to spend ±9 billion on capex for 2022 and 2023, more than half of ROCK\031s ±15.3 billion in retained earnings for FY21. The stock is down 38% from its pre-COVID 2019 highs, but it honestly hasn\031t gone anywhere in the two years since the lockdown. It\031s basically at the same price now that it was during the days of the COVID crash. The Lopez Family\031s property development arm just hasn\031t been able to keep pace with its larger peers.\r\n> - **Citicore Energy REIT** [CREIT 2.60 ²0.39%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=ef5a554f8d6dbf133470cea4b051ca8f)] prepares for infusion of 72 MW Arayat-Mexico solar farm that was just energized by CREIT\031s parent company, Citicore Renewable Energy Corp (CREC), and AC Energy [ACEN 8.86 ²1.84%]. CREC said that it is starting construction of Phase 2 of this project next month, to add another 40 MW of capacity by the end of the year. CREIT investors are still just waiting on that first full quarterly dividend to validate the FY22 yield projections, but infusions like this are a big part of CREIT\031s future growth.\r\n> - **Medilines Distributors** [MEDIC 0.89 ²1.14%] [[link](https://edge.pse.com.ph/openDiscViewer.do?edge_no=7365deaa1615999b3470cea4b051ca8f)] delivers 1st \034complete cancer diagnosis package\035 in Mindanao. The machines permit identification and tracking of cancerous abnormalities without invasive surgery. MEDIC is the dominant provider of these machines in the country, and the hospital where this was installed (Southern Philippines Medical Center) is a top MEDIC customer. These transactions are what got MEDIC to the market, but investors in the IPO will be looking for explosive performance of MEDIC\031s new consumables business. There\031s a lot riding on the next annual and quarterly reports from MEDIC.\r\n\r\n**MB** is written and distributed every trading day. The newsletter is 100% free and I never upsell you to some "iNnEr cIrClE" of paid-membership perks. Everyone gets the same! Join the barkada by signing up for the [newsletter](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1&utm_source=mb), or follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MerkadoBarkada). You can also read my daily Morning Halo-halo content on [Philstar.com](https://www.philstar.com) in the [Stock Commentary](https://www.philstar.com/business/stock-commentary) section, and in the Saturday edition of the [Daily Manila Shimbun](https://www.manila-shimbun.com/). \r\n#Subscribe [here](https://mailchimp.us12.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=925d69480ecfc297864a79dc6&id=17742706f1)\r\n#Read today's full newsletter [here](https://mailchi.mp/039767b1faaf/philex-delays-sro-because-market-volatility)
## 57 *TLDR at the bottom*\n\n**Background**\n\n19M, \034sexually active\035 since 15. IELT of effectively 0. Throughout the years, tried various training regimens and techniques with no luck. \n\nI immediately ejaculate from penetrative sex, sometimes before even a first pump inside. When receiving oral, I would last 10-40 seconds. I have always felt that my PE was chronic.\n\nI had to become very skilled at giving girls head to save face after my embarrassing performance. I guess this could be considered to be some silver lining to PE, but obviously, I was not happy with my sexual performance. I could not fuck girls how they wanted to be fucked. It\031s great to be able to consistently make girls cum from oral, but I always felt a huge sense of inadequacy.\n\nI\031ve been in a long-term relationship and couldn\031t continue like this. Since becoming sexually active and noticing my PE, I found this subreddit and tried everything mentioned here short of drugs. So, in a last ditch effort, I tried drugs.\n\nI sought a prescription from Roman (this is not an ad or sponsored whatsoever), a website you can use in most states in the US to basically fill out a questionnaire, text with a medical doctor, and figure out which prescription would help with your sexual issues.\n\nThe doctor told me I could choose between sildenafil (Viagra) and sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI). The way he put it, sildenafil is meant to make men be able to maintain or get an erection if they have trouble doing so, and the evidence that it helps prolong IELT is limited. I would take it on demand 30 mins before sex. For sertraline, there is strong evidence that it prolongs IELT. However, I did not want to be on an antidepressant, as I am very fortunate to be in good mental health with good brain chemistry, and I did not want to risk anything. So, I decided to try sildenafil/Viagra. Note that I don\031t have any problem getting or maintaining erections.\n\n**My Experience with Sildenafil**\n\nLast night, I tried the sildenafil for the first time. I took the 20mg pill about 45 minutes before starting penetration. It did prolong IELT a bit, lasting around 30 secs inside. Obviously, this still isn\031t great, but it\031s shocking that I\031ve been sexually active for years and only just found out what penetrative sex really feels like.\n\nHOWEVER, what followed is why I consider this a \034hack.\035 Even though I already ejaculated, my erection did not go down like it usually would. I was able to continue with penetration. In fact, I didn\031t even pull out after ejaculating. I was able to fuck her for as long as she wanted, which I did, until she came ~15 mins later. After that, we cuddled and my erection went down.\n\nIt felt amazing to be able to fuck. This has already resolved so many insecurities of mine. Needless to say, I\031m over the moon with Viagra.\n\nI may add in some desensitizing spray along with the Viagra to reduce the uncomfortably heightened sensitivity immediately following ejaculation.\n\nThe only side effect I experienced from the 20mg pill was red/bloodshot eyes, which a few drops of Visine quickly fixed.\n\n**TLDR**\n\nI used sildenafil (Viagra) to maintain my erection after prematurely ejaculating. This enabled me to continue penetrative sex without any break.
## 58 I\031m insane. Please just tell me I\031m insane. Please tell me that I\031m a delusional freak who deserves to be locked up. Hell, call me a \034schizo-head\035 or a \034psycho maniac\035, fucking *ANYTHING*! Just for the love of GOD, tell me this isn\031t real. If it is, I... I don\031t know what I\031ll do.\n\nIt\031s been going on for almost two and a half months now. At *least* since Jacqui died. Jaqueline, the girl I took under my wing. The girl I let down and now, the source of my torment. \n\nWe\031d met about a month and half ago and I was still working a dead-end job as a cook for \034Porky Bros.\035, the old barbecue joint that sat in the middle of downtown where I lived before it closed down last week. I still remember how we met. \n\nI was out back taking a smoke (the only one I\031d had so far that day). I\031d just about gotten into a fistfight with Rick, one of the waiters who always particularly disliked me for whatever reason. The guy seemed to amuse himself with trying to crack a bull whip over my back to hurry up with an order. And of course, when a customer would complain about something being wrong with the food, be it \034not seasoned enough\035, or \034something was still cold\035, you can bet your bottom fuckin\031 dollar the son of a bitch would be in my ear about it.\n\nThat time was over the order being three minutes late (even though we were getting slammed with business and I *barely* had any help, with multiple people calling out). I was already tired from having to pull a double and I\031d been putting up with his shit for *FAR* longer than I ever should\031ve and I was about to break his face in when Wendall, my buddy and one of the only other cooks working with me that day, stepped in and told me to go take a smoke. I did so without a single word.\n\nSo there I was, puffin\031 away at a Marlboro Red when she approached me for the first time. I could tell she\031d been crying and her clothes were torn and raggedy. \034Can I bum a smoke\035, she asked, her voice shaking. I looked in the pack, seeing that there was only one left after the one I was smoking. Admittedly I almost told her no.\n\nLooking at her, though, I guess at the time I didn\031t have the heart. \034Thank you.\035 She just stood next to me, silently dragging on her smoke. Part of me wanted to ask if she was okay. But at the same time, I knew she wasn\031t. The way she looked said everything. The tattered clothes, the way she was quivering, still in tears, and just how utterly frightened she was, plus I could also see bruises on her cheekbones and around her mouth.\n\nI was heartbroken. I must\031ve somehow shown it, too, because she soon told me that \034it was nothing. Just an accident.\035 \n\n\034Accident, my ass.\035 She shrunk a bit before taking another drag. She told me that \034it was just a misunderstanding; that it wouldn\031t happen again.\035 \n\nI was becoming enraged. I wasn\031t a saint, sure. But damn it, I was raised to believe that, no matter what, a man doesn\031t put hands on a woman like that. I wanted to find and hand this piece of shit his ass on a platter before putting him down like the animal he was. \034What happened, why\031d he do it\035, I finally managed to ask.\n\nShe shook her head, \034Look, don\031t worry about it, okay? You wouldn\031t get it anyway.\035 \n\n\034I think I get it perfectly well. Some bastard just beat the hell out of you, and you\031re afraid of getting him in trouble by telling me who he is.\035\n\n\034Oh yeah\035, she scoffed, \034and what\031re you gonna do, huh? Kick his ass?\035\n\n\034Why not? At least *then* I can kick *someone\031s* ass today.\035\n\nThis made her chuckle. \034Bad day, huh?\035\n\n\034Look who\031s talking.\035 This time, we both laughed. \034Name\031s Otto, by the way.\035\n\n\034Jacqueline\035, she said, her voice sounding just a little less timid. She flicked her cigarette out before thanking me and turning to leave. \n\n\034Hold up.\035 I shot out my hand to her, stopping her. I pulled out one of the order tickets I\031d crumpled up earlier out of anger and scrawled out my phone number. \034Call me later, okay?\035 \n\nShe looked at it and then to me, smiling. \034You got it.\035 She then turned and left and I went back inside to continue torturing myself with the rest of my shift. That night when I finally got home (at 1:45 A.M., having to close the kitchen), I was grabbing a beer from the fridge when my phone buzzed with a text message. \n\n\024\034Hey, it\031s me, Jacqueline. I just wanted to say thx for talking 2 me & letting me bum a smoke. Rly made my day better. :)\035\n\nI smiled, something I hadn\031t done all day (or all week for that matter), and replied that I was glad I made *somebody* happy today. I also texted her that if she wanted to talk about anything, that I\031d be there. After that, there was no reply for a while so I decided to proceed with drinking myself to sleep that night. \n\nWhen I woke up the next morning (by that, I really mean about a half hour to noon), I found that there were a couple of texts from her waiting for me. The first one was only about three hours after the one I sent her;\n\n\024\034Tht would B nice. Thnk U! :)\035\n\nThe other two were sent only about another hour after that one, each only about ten minutes or so apart from each other.\n\n\024\034Hey... U still up?\035\n\n\024\034I\031m kinda scared here... can we talk? Pls?\035\n\nMy eyes snapped wide when I saw this. I felt my heart drop. The time stamps for these messages had been from five hours ago, when I was asleep. She\031d needed me, and I wasn\031t there.\n\nImmediately, I shot her a text saying that I was sorry I didn\031t see her message and asked if she was okay. My heart was racing, waiting, praying for a response. Finally, about five minutes later, my phone buzzed with a response. \n\n\024\034Hey, it\031s fine. Everything\031s ok. :) Sry 4 worrying U.\035\n\nMy heart slowly returned to normal. *\035At least she\031s alive.\035* I asked her what happened and if she was hurt. She replied that she was alright and that she was \034overreacting\035. \n\nThough I was relieved that she was okay for now, I wasn\031t convinced that she was just \034overreacting\035. Look, I\031m *NO* kinda trauma counselor or psychologist, but I wasn\031t born yesterday, either. I\031d seen before where I\031d see friends of mine lookin\031 like Jacqui did, with bruises, cuts, and black eyes covering them after their pieces of shit boyfriends would come home (usually sloshed) with some wild hair in their asses. Every time, they too would try to pass it off as something like \034overreacting\035 or \034just an accident\035 or \034not what it looked like\035.\n\nI decided to ask if she was open for lunch that afternoon since I was off work. She replied that she was busy, but that dinner might be an option. I told her that would be great and asked if she\031d like me to pick her up. She replied with her address and I told her I\031d be by around 6:30 that evening.\n\nAfter that, I spent the day getting cleaned up and rummaging through my storage unit of an apartment for *something* nice (or at least halfway decent) to wear to dinner. I wanted to make an impression. I wanted her to see that good men *do* still exist that can treat her like a lady, you know? If nothing else, I figured maybe it\031d help her feel more secure and might open up about what was going on. \n\nAbout five o\031 clock that evening, I\031d managed to find the suit I wore for my brother\031s wedding and was putting it through a cycle in the wash. That\031s when my phone buzzed with a text from Jacqui.\n\n\024\034Hey... I know this is awkward, but is there any way U could come get me now?\035\n\nI froze. I\031d just put the suit into the washer and it wouldn\031t be done for another twenty minutes. I asked her if everything was okay. She replied that she was fine, but *really* wanted to meet up now. I asked what was going on, but she didn\031t reply after that. \n\nI was floored. I wasn\031t sure what I was supposed to do. Part of me wanted to try and press for details. I was getting a bit nervous with how vague she was being with everything. I wondered what I\031d see once I got there. *\035Would she even be alive when I got there?\035*\n\nAgain, I\031d *seen* shit like this play out before, and I wasn\031t just gonna sit by and watch it happen with Jacqui. I started imagining what the boyfriend was like; imagining a 6\031 2\035 gorilla whose breath reeked perpetually of Bud lite. It was with this in mind that i said I said fuck the suit and threw on a T-shirt and jeans (the cleanest ones I could find) and hopped in my car. I shot her a text saying I was on my way as I all but peeled out of the parking lot. \n\nIt took me about fifteen minutes to find where she lived, having to backtrack once or twice through roads I wasn\031t real familiar with. The city I lived in was small, sure, but I didn\031t exactly get out much which made it all unfamiliar territory for me. Her house was a small one just off the corner of the downtown area, isolated with only two other houses neighboring it. \n\nWhen I pulled up, I noticed there wasn\031t a vehicle parked in the driveway. *\035Damn it! I\031m too late! Fucker\031s already gone\035*, I thought as I jumped out of the car and made my way to the porch, my hand tightly gripped around the butterfly knife I always keep in my pocket (it\031s not exactly a nice neighborhood I live in).\n\n\034Jacqueline\035, I called, knocking on the door. For about a minute, nothing happened. I tried leaning my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. Nothing. It was when I was texting her, telling her that I was on the porch that I heard the door slowly open. \n\nThe front door cracked open and My heart stopped when I saw her face. It was worse than the previous day. Covering almost every inch of her face were cuts and fresh bruises alongside the ones from before. My jaw fell open and hung like someone tied a brick of lead to it. I was horrified, while at the same time overcome with rage. Now I wanted the bastard six feet in the ground, and I wanted to be the one that dug his grave. \n\n\034W-What-\034 \n\nShe stepped out onto the porch, quickly shutting the door behind her. She stood there silently, her face chiseled in a state of fear and her eyes locked onto my feet, seemingly unable to make contact with mine. Now in the full light outside, I saw how one eye was so badly beaten that it was almost swollen shut. As well as this, there were gashes now across her cheeks, fresh and still trickling with blood. \n\nI was speechless. I wasn\031t sure how to begin. I didn\031t know whether to demand she tell me who this animal was and where I could find him or to grab her and hold her in the tightest bear hug I could manage. In the end, I just stood still, speechless with horror.\n\nFinally, she broke the silence and asked, shaking, \034Can we go, please?\035 \n\nAlmost absently, I nodded and stammered, \034Wh-where to?\035 \n\n\034I don\031t care\035, she said, her voice breaking, \034I just need to get out.\035 \n\nI gently took her hand and led her into my car and we drove off. I decided against trying to take her out to a restaurant or anything like that, looking the way she did and all. With no other ideas of where to go, I asked if she\031d like to come back with me to my place for dinner. She just nodded nervously again. \034That\031d be nice.\035\n\n\034I\031ll have to warn you, though, I\031m not exactly the tidiest.\035 I chuckled when I said this, hoping to lighten the mood with that. It didn\031t work. \n\n\034Doesn\031t matter, it\031ll be fine\035, she said anxiously, still quivering like she was cold. I could tell she wasn\031t in the mood to hear my voice at the moment so the rest of the way to my apartment was spent in silence. The whole time, her eyes stared about a thousand yards ahead through the windshield while she shook in the passenger seat. \n\nWhen we pulled up to my apartment, before I could even cut the engine off, Jacqueline was already undoing her seat belt and opening the door. As quickly as I could, I turned the car off and got out after her. I got her to follow me back to my apartment.\n\n\034Ta-da\035, I said awkwardly as I opened the door to reveal my wreck of an apartment. \034Home sweet home, or at least as sweet as it *can* be.\035 I saw her look at me, her eyes still wide and nervous, yet still parting the left corner of her lip up into a shy half-smile. I threw some of my clutter that was on the couch to the floor beside it, giving her a place to sit down. \n\nShe stood in the doorway for a second before finally trudging over and sitting down. \034Would you like a drink\035, I asked, opening the fridge, \034I must warn you, all I got are Millers. But they are fresh and cold.\035 She smiled weakly again an replied \034No thanks.\035 \n\nI grabbed one for myself and made my way to the couch, sitting next to her. For the first five minutes or so, my apartment was so dead silent that you\031d have been able to hear a pin dropping from the fifth floor above me. She just sat staring at the floor. A couple times, I saw her shaking her head like she was dizzy or something. I broke the silence by asking her if she\031d like to watch a something on the TV.\n\nShe didn\031t seem to notice me at first, so I called her name again. This time, her head snapped up to me. Her face looked lost and afraid at the same time. \034Huh?\035\n\n\034You wanna watch some TV?\035\n\n\034Oh, uh... y-yeah. Yeah that\031d be nice.\035\n\nI turned it on and started flipping through channels. Finally, I managed to land on an episode of \034Family Guy\035 and stopped there. I asked her if she was cool with that, telling her it was one of my favorites (though to be honest, it wasn\031t). She just shrugged and said she didn\031t mind. \n\nBy that point, it was really starting to eat away at me at what she wasn\031t telling me. Again, I get it; people in her situation, especially after a particularly bad episode like what she\031d dealt with earlier, tend not to want to talk about it. But that didn\031t make things any easier for me. I became especially anxious when I saw her start shaking her head and clutching her temples. Then I started hearing her faintly mutter under her breath, \034No...No, stop it! I don\031t want to. stop!\035\n\n\034Stop what\035, I asked nervously, putting my hand on her shoulder. She didn\031t seem to notice, instead shaking her head more violently and tearing at her hair. Her clawing became violent, pulling at her ears and I was scared she was about to rip them off. I realized that she must be having a psychological episode, maybe PTSD or something from getting the hell beat out of her that day.\n\nUnsure of what to do, I grabbed her arms and shouted her name, \034Jacqueline, Jacqueline!\035 She finally stopped and looked at me again. Her eyes were wide, almost unnaturally so, looking absolutely lost and flooding with tears. Her breathing was heavy. \034It\031s okay\035, I said softly, \034it\031s okay, I\031m here. I\031ve got you.\035\n\nI didn\031t really know why I said that. Truthfully, I didn\031t believe what I said, being just as lost (if not more so) than she was. I guess it was the only thing I knew to say to make her feel better, or at least to keep her from doing serious harm to herself. Thankfully, it seemed to do as much because her body immediately relaxed as she then curled into a ball and buried her face in her hands, sobbing. \n\nI just froze. What was I supposed to do here? I wanted to hold her, but at the same time I knew that might cause her to freak out again. One thing was certain, I DEFINITELY wanted to beat the shit out of the boyfriend. \n\n\034I\031m sorry\035, she said through her hands. \034I shouldn\031t have come here. I\031m sorry. I should go.\035 She started to get up from the couch. I got up to stop her.\n\n\034Back to him\035, I asked. She tried to push past me to the door. I continued to block her. I couldn\031t let her go back to that. Hell, I wasn\031t even sure I was comfortable leaving her alone at this point.\n\n\034What are you talking about?\035\n\n\034Your boyfriend, the piece of shit that\031s done this to you.\035\n\nShe shrunk down again, closing her eyes and saying \034Look, you don\031t get it. My boyfriend didn\031t do this. I don\031t have a boyfriend, okay? I live alone. Just please, I need to go home.\035\n\nI was caught off guard by this. If she didn\031t have a boyfriend or anyone else, then who\031s been beating her up like this? As much as I wanted to press that question, I could see that she was desperate to leave. \034Then at least let me take take you home, please. Just so I know you\031ll be okay.\035\n\nShe looked at me and nodded, \034Sure.\035 We drove in silence. Well, silent except for her constantly mumbling \034I said no! I won\031t go, I don\031t want to. Leave me alone!\035 I said nothing, but I can\031t lie, this was starting to scare me. I was terrified that at any moment, she was gonna start trying to tear at her hair or something again. Fortunately, that didn\031t happen.\n\nWhen we pulled into her house, before she could bolt out like she couldn\031t get out fast enough, I put a hand out, stopping her. \034Call me tomorrow morning, okay? Just let me know everything\031s okay, please?\035\n\nShe halfheartedly nodded before getting out of the car. After she went inside her house, I just sat there for a good five or so minutes, waiting for something to happen. I almost expected to see her in the window, getting hurt, either by herself or someone else and that I was gonna have to rush in after her. As it happened, all the lights were off and it was dead silent. \n\nI finally managed to satisfy myself that, for the time being, she was okay and left her house. It\031s no surprise that on the drive home that night, my mind was entrapped by one big question; what the hell was going on with Jacqueline? Why was she hurting herself the way she was? What was causing her to have episodes like she did at my apartment?\n\nDid something happen to her, maybe something that\031s somehow scarred her? That might would make sense. But then that brings up the question of why she hasn\031t sought help. Hell, has she told anybody, if not, then why? Of course, all of this was eclipsed by the biggest question; who the hell was she talking to when she was saying \034stop, I don\031t want to\035?\n\nThe only conclusion I could think of now was that she might have some form of Schizophrenia or even some dual personality or something like that. Again, no expert on psychology, but based on what I\031d seen, that was the only way I could explain what was going on. This, however, made me feel all the more uneasy about leaving her by herself.\n\nIt was a good thing I was off work the next day too, because all through that night, I was essentially on high alert, just waiting for her to call or text me panicking again. In other words, sleep was not an option. What\031s worse is that the entire time, try as I would otherwise (even downing a few Millers), I couldn\031t take my mind off of it to relax. I kept imagining that the next time I saw her, it\031d be in the hospital, or worse.\n\nAll I could do was pray that she\031d call the next morning, telling me that things were okay. Finally, at around 8:00 A.M., my phone rang. Out of reflex, I mashed the green button, \034Hello? Jacqueline?! Is everything okay?!\035\n\n\034Yeah. Everything\031s fine.\035 Her voice sounded normal. Actually, it almost seemed *relaxed*. It felt almost like a total 180 from the previous night. \034Listen, I\031m sorry about last night. I know you probably think I\031m nuts, but I can explain. Can we meet up again?\035\n\n\034Uh... yeah sure. Where at and what time?\035\n\n\034In an hour. At the park with the pier.\035\n\n\034Okay. You want me to bring anything? Maybe something for\024\034 she hung up before I could finish. I quickly got dressed and got in my car. On the way to the park, I decided to stop by the nearby Subway and grab some food for us. The whole time, I was wondering if the right thing to do would be to try admitting her to a hospital. I knew she probably wouldn\031t like the idea, but I couldn\031t just let her keep hurting herself like this, could I?\n\nI hadn\031t come to any sort of conclusion by the time I pulled up at the park either. I resolved to hear her out first, then go from there. That way, I would at least have a better understanding of what was going on. I texted her, asking her where she was and where in the park she wanted to meet up. She replied about two seconds later saying she was waiting at the pier by the lake. \n\nGrabbing the sandwiches, I headed into the park and for the lake. When I got there, I saw her sitting on the edge, looking out toward the lake. \034Hey, so I hope you don\031t mind, but I brought us a bite to\024\034\n\n\034It\031s beautiful, isn\031t it?\035\n\nI stopped. \034Huh?\035\n\n\034The lake. it\031s beautiful, isn\031t it?\035\n\n\034Uh... Yeah, I guess so.\035 I slowly approached the rest of the way to her. She just sat still. \n\n\034My mother always tells me that the current of a lake would always wash away one\031s strife. That it was so peaceful to lose yourself in.\035\n\n\034Uh... o-kay\035, I said, unsure of what I was supposed to say to this. I couldn\031t explain it, but something felt *off*. It was like some dormant instinct, a \034sixth sense\035 you can call it, that was telling me that something was up. *\035But what?\035*\n\nWhen I reached her, I put my hand on her shoulder. \034You hungry? I picked us up some Subs from Subway. I wasn\031t sure what you liked so I got you a\024\034\n\n\034I hear dead people.\035 \n\nFor a moment, everything almost seemed to freeze in place. She was still and motionless and the way she said it was like she was accepting some great truth of life. I guess a better way of saying it is that she sounded \034numb\035 or \034hollow\035. \n\n\034I hear dead people\035, she repeated in that same \034numb\035 tone. \034They tell me to join them in the end; in him.\035\n\nMy tongue felt swollen, like it\031d been punched. \034I-I\031m sorry, *what*? Y-you hear\024\034\n\n\034Dead people, yes.\035\n\n\034And they tell you to do what now?\035\n\nShe was quiet again for a moment. I was floored. How was I supposed to respond to that? How would *YOU* have responded to hearing this? \n\n\034They want me to go with them\035, she said finally, blankly. \n\n\034Go where? What do you mean?\035\n\n\034Into the end. To join with him. They\031ve been telling me that he is what waits for us all.\035\n\n\034Huh? Who? You mean like God or something? What do you mean by \034waiting for us all?\035 Even before she\031d answer though, I knew deep down the answer was something wrong. \n\n\034He doesn\031t have a name. He is all of us. He is what we become on the other side. He waits to be completed. They need me. *He* needs me to join.\035\n\nI could feel a series of chills prick down my spine hearing this. She sounded so relaxed when she said it, like it all seemed normal to her. It all sounded like something a cult member would say, and she said it like it was nothing. This was scaring the hell out of me now and I was certain of one thing; one way or another, I *HAD* to find her some kind of help.\n\n\034They\031ve been telling me this ever since my mother died last year. I always hear her, telling me to \034follow her to the end and join with him.\035 \n\nI slowly reached out and gently put my hand on her shoulder. \034Jacqui, come on let\031s get out of here. We can find someone to \024\034\n\n\034Help me\035, she asked, interrupting me, \034Is that what you were gonna say?\035 I stayed silent. She let out a scoff and said \034look, if you won\031t believe me, what makes you think anyone else will?\035 \n\nI was stumped. I wanted to grab her hand and take her to the nearest hospital. I wanted to tell her things were okay and that the voices weren\031t real. But I didn\031t. Instead, I clammed up. \n\n\034Besides which\035, she continued, starting to stand up, \034it\031s alright. Everything\031s gonna be fine now. I\031m done running.\035 What happened next felt like it was lasting an eternity, despite it lasting only about a couple of minutes.\n\nI remember briefly noticing that she had her shoelaces tied together in a ball, joining both feet together. While my brain was busy with wondering about this (as well as trying to take in what I was hearing AND trying to figure out how to find some help for her), she looked me in the eyes for the first time since I got there and said \034Thanks for being here now, Otto.\035\n\nI, for only a split second, saw that her hands were duct taped together. By the time it fully hit me exactly what she planned to do, I\031d be too late to stop her. In one fluid motion, she flung her body backwards and was instantly swallowed by the lake. I rushed over and saw that she was almost too far down to see, only faintly glimpsing her eyes looking back up at me, wide and panicking. \n\nI turned back and shouted at a few others walking by to call 911 before diving headfirst into the lake after her. I flailed frantically as hard as possible, pushing myself deeper and deeper after her. It was useless, though. The lake ran deep and it got darker, murkier the further down it went. Because of this, I couldn\031t see a thing. I also had never been a good swimmer in the first place.\n\nI had to push myself back up for air and go back down again several times, still unable to reach her. Eventually, my body grew weak and I couldn\031t even move my arms and legs anymore. My body then started sinking too and I was forced to take in a mouthful of water, unable to hold my breath any longer. That\031s when I finally blacked out, falling to the bottom of the lake along with Jacqueline. \n\nI remember coming to on the pier, dizzy, puking and spewing up lake water. Over me was a paramedic holding a jump bag and an oxygen mask. \034He\031s becoming responsive\035, he shouted to the group on the other side of the pier. \034Are you okay, sir?\035\n\nI stared blankly at him, still catching my breath. It took a moment before everything came rushing back to me. \034Jacqueline\035, I cried, bolting up. The paramedic stopped me, telling me to calm down. I looked around to see police officers at the edge of the pier begin walking towards me.\n\nWhen they questioned me as to what happened, I told them the truth as I knew it; that she had jumped in the river after telling me that she was hearing voices. I expressed that I also had every intention of trying to find help for her. They seemed to accept this as there was no other evidence, physical or from witnesses, to suggest anything otherwise and I was free to go home.\n\nFrom there, life sort of just went on. It was weird. I of course spent a couple weeks following losing myself to the bottle every night after work. Finally, I was turned out from Porky Bros. when it got to a point that I wasn\031t really able to function in the kitchen anymore. I read a week later in the paper that Jacqui\031s body was finally found after dragging the lake. \n\nEventually though, I managed to actually sort of \034move on\035. I found another job at a much nicer restaurant (one that actually paid a bit better) and I felt like I could push Jacqueline to the back of my head; a distant memory. That\031s when I started hearing it though. Or rather, Hearing *her*.\n\nIt happened one night when I\031d come home from work and was about to go to bed when I started hearing her voice calling my name, \034Otto... Otto...\035 Then I saw her. She looked like she did when she was alive. Actually, she looked even better, being without the bruises. I rubbed my eyes. *\035What the hell?\035*\n\n\034Otto. It\031s me, Jacqueline. Remember?\035 She was smiling when she said it. Her voice was smooth and calming. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. When I opened them, she was gone. \n\n*\035Come on man, get a grip.\035* I decided to quickly down a couple of Millers before going to bed. That night, in my sleep, though, there she was again. She was standing in front of me, naked and smiling warmly. \034You\031re lonely, aren\031t you Otto? It\031s time. Come join us. Join with him.\035\n\nBefore I can ask what she\031s talking about (as well as how she\031s there and what she wants with me), I hear a flurry of shrill whispers coming from behind me. Then, out of the corner of my eyes, I see thousands of white streaks rush past, each of them with elongated mouths screaming simultaneously, \034Come join us!\035\n\nI was horrified. I tried to make myself wake up, but it was no use. I could only watch as the screaming streaks begin swirling around in a vortex motion behind Jacqueline. Jacqui herself then started descending towards the center, her voice blending chaotically with the rest in chanting for me to \034join with him\035. Upon reaching the center, I see her and the others start to morph, blending together and molding into the shape of a man. \n\nHe \024 it, was tall and dark, like he was made out of the void itself. It had four long gangly arms that stretched out further and further towards me to snatch me and drag me into it. Every part of it was comprised of the screaming faces as more and more of them continued to conjoin. All around me was a horrific cacophony of their screams, \034Join us!\035 The last thing I remember hearing before waking up was Jacqui\031s voice telling me it was time to join with him.\n\nI almost jumped out of my bed and I didn\031t go back to sleep again that night. That was almost a month ago. Every day since, I keep seeing them, hearing them; always telling me to join them. Every time, I see the thing, \034Him\035, getting closer. I haven\031t been able to sleep and I can\031t function during the day either. I\031m always hearing them. \n\nI don\031t know what this thing is, or what it\031ll do when it reaches me in my sleep. But I\031m 100% certain that it\031s something unholy, something horrible. I\031ve been trying pills, but they only last so long before I hear them again. The only hope I have now is that I\031m just fuckin\031 losing it. That grief is somehow driving me, like it drove Jacqui with her mother, to see this shit.\n\nI beg of you, please show me some kind of proof that what I\031m seeing isn\031t real. I\031m fuckin\031 scared right now. I can hear them right now. \n\n*\035Goddamn it, I don\031t wanna go!\035*
## 59 I\031m a Canadian and a good friend of mine is visiting relatives in Pakistan right now, and when I checked in with him he just said they were hiding in a shelter at the moment. Admittedly, I\031m not completely up to speed on Pakistani politics, but I\031ve followed the news somewhat recently.\n\nCan someone dumb it down for me though? What\031s going on? Why is Imran Khan no longer PM? Would there be a danger to westernized/foreign Pakistani people? Are those two things even linked? Thanks in advance.\n\nEDIT: this mf& texts the group chat this morning \034Hahaha I was kidding silly\035. Thanks everyone. My friends an idiot.
## 60 **After the events of Alien: Isolation, Amanda Ripley finds herself rescued and cared for in a Seegson Medical Facility on the planet mining colony Eden2. As her traumatic experiences on Sevastopol Space Station slowly return to her, she is quickly presented with a new threat: a major incident in Eden2\031s subsurface geothermal plant has left the entire colony in lockdown.**\n\n**Ripley must navigate the surface Habi-Sphere City and the three deep-mine sectors to lift the lockdown and rescue as many of the colonists as possible, whilst evading the dangers of a new kind of Alien, the faulty ADAM&EVE AI systems, and a cast of unsavoury characters with dubious motives.**\n\n**Her only ray of hope: a colonial transport vessel scheduled to fly in the planet\031s vicinity. Will Ripley be able to rescue the colonists and send an evacuation distress call in time? Or will Eden2 become a paradise of nightmares?**\n\nAlien: Eden2 is a speculative, text-based sequel to Alien Isolation, and is set to continue and expand upon Amanda Ripley\031s story. Inspiration has been drawn from the 2014 video game as well as its novelisation, and the project seeks to outline the plot, gameplay and structure of this fictional sequel in as much detail as possible. Any input in the comments would be greatly appreciated and will help with the finalised version of Alien: Eden2.
## 61 \n\n \n\nThrowaway account\n\nI (26F) share a birthday with a friend (24F). The girl in question (25F) has a birthday three weeks after mine and 24F. 24F consistently remarks over how everyone forgets about her birthday because mine is the same day as hers. I am very Type A. If I want to do something such as a birthday party, I will plan to do it. 24F doesn't make plans specifically for her birthday.\n\nMy fiance and I decided to have a fall wedding. September is a busy month for us so we chose the first weekend in October for our date, which happens to be the day after 25F's birthday. The wedding was going to be at my fiance's parent's cabin but after some rethinking we decided to go with a venue. We found a venue that we both fell in love with but we'd have to move our wedding date to the weekend before we originally planned. Like stated above, I'm very Type A and wanted to ensure that our party knows what's going on. I did send a message to our group chat to let them know that we think we're going to go with the venue and that the date will be changed to the weekend before.\n\nThe only responses that I got back in the group chat were statements of how we shouldn't have picked the original date anyways because that's a birthday weekend and that it's better that we change it. My fiance replied, stating that birthdays come once per year and a wedding is a one time thing. This irritated 24F and she replied stating "birthdays only happen when everyone remembers them and when other events are going on nobody does". Since then she hasn't responded to any of the group chat messages, nor will she answer my texts or calls. This is odd because we talk almost every day. I did reply to the message and said something along the lines of "I don't understand why the first date was such a big deal because I did talk with 25F and she told me that she really doesn't care, as long as we celebrate her birthday the weekend before or after." Following my message, another person in the group chat responded and said something similar to "Wow I was just giving you my opinion and if you don't like that then you can leave." Which frankly I found rude because it's my group chat for my wedding party but I didn't respond.\n\nI know that 24F is upset with what my fiance said but lately she's really been making me feel bad that our birthday happens to land on the same day. It's not my fault that I make plans for my personal events, like a birthday party, and she doesn't. I honestly took what she said as a dig at me because she frequently talks about everyone conveniently forgets that we share a birthday.\n\nLess than a day after this conversation, my fiancé and I decided to push the wedding out not because of this issue with our party but because of money problems. I just want to know if I\031m in the wrong by setting my wedding date the day after my friend\031s birthday when it was originally stated that there were no issues.
## 62 **Background**\n\nBack in 2016, I played the original *Xenoblade Chronicles* on my Wii U and loved it. Afterwards, I bought *Xenoblade Chronicles X*, but for a variety of reasons, I could never get into it no matter how many times I tried. For one, the lack of story focus and fantasy elements disappointed me. Plus, the gameplay was way too overwhelming for me to understand at the time due to the lack of proper in-game tutorials, so I dropped the game at Chapter 4.\n\nAfter playing XC2 in 2017-2018, XC:DE in 2020, and Torna in early 2021, I tried giving XCX another chance a couple months after beating Torna. I started over and finished Chapter 3 in March 2021, but I eventually focused on other games. After the XC3 trailer dropped in February 2022, I decided it was finally time to resume XCX and finish the game before XC3 releases. Two XCX-filled months later, I can say that I\031ve *finally* finished it.\n\n**Appreciating the Experiment That Is**\n\nRegardless of how one feels about XCX, it is an experimental game through and through. Tetsuya Takahashi talked about how Monolith Soft was several years behind in terms of developing HD titles at the time, so unlike my younger college self, I can now understand why this game had such a focus on gameplay rather than story. You can tell Monolith really threw everything on the wall: open-world gameplay, piloting mechs, building affinity in the hub world, online functionality, etc. As a result, I developed a newfound appreciation for the game.\n\nI personally enjoyed the affinity missions the most. They're a good way to expand on characters who don't get time in the main story. Of the main cast, I really liked Irina (best girl), Gwin (best boy), and Doug (Doug). For the optional characters, I'd usually just do their initial affinity mission before dropping them. The only optional characters whose content I completed 100% were Murderess (since she's connected to Irina) and Hope (because I like Alexis Tipton's *Fire Emblem* work). Sadly, I didn\031t finish Alexa\031s 2nd affinity mission due to the ridiculous item-collecting requirements.\n\nAs far as exploration is concerned, you can see why Monolith's staff was eventually chosen to help design *The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild*. I enjoyed setting up data probes as it allowed me to explore more of the map than I normally would, and maximizing miranium and revenue gains through probe installation was fun. Skell exploration became a habit of mine once I got the flight module, but sadly, the worst aspect of pre-Skell exploration was high-level enemies (mostly spiders) literally spawning right out of thin air.\n\nIt felt so much like old-school random encounters, especially since they can snipe you from over 100 meters away through walls even if you sprint. Pre-Skell exploration was like navigating a minefield. While other Xenoblade games have high-level enemies in low-level areas, they're at least easy to avoid or segmented within their own side area. High-level enemies in XCX are completely scattered and constantly move across long distances at high speeds to where a they can easily interrupt your designated quest/story mission and fuck everything up.\n\n**Quality of Life**\n\nIf I had to give my biggest critique of *Xenoblade Chronicles X*, it would have to be the **horrendous** audio mixing. For those unfamiliar with the term, I am talking about the audio balance between the music and dialogue during cutscenes, which is straight-up bad and inexcusable on Monolith Soft\031s part. Audio mixing is to XCX what tutorials are to XC2 in that they are some of the worst examples I've seen in any video game within the last decade (though XCX\031s tutorials aren\031t great either).\n\nCutscenes are nearly impossible to decipher without subtitles because the music absolutely overpowers anything the characters have to say. It doesn\031t help that Hiroyuki Sawano\031s score has plenty of lyrical songs, so even if the audio isn\031t too overbearing, the vocal performance will mix in with the dialogue to make it all confusing if you\031re not closely paying attention. The \034Drifting Soul\035 scenes in XC2 weren\031t all that tough to decipher, but XCX\031s music was way too loud.\n\nThe next-biggest issue in XCX has to be the tiny font size throughout the game. I understand that JRPGs tend to have lots of small text on screen, but you also need to make good use of your available on-screen space. XCX uses a thin sans-serif font that\031s hard to read without a good TV/monitor, and the text boxes themselves have plenty of empty space that goes unused. Literally *all* the text could\031ve been increased in both font size and aspect ratio while also widening the text box size, and nothing would\031ve been lost.\n\nOne could argue that XC2 overcorrected by making its font size very large, but at least you could actually read it regardless of your TV quality. One of the reasons I was willing to come back and finish XCX this year was because I recently got a new TV that's much bigger than my previous one, meaning the small text finally became tolerable. Seriously, the fact that the text was tiny even in Japanese is a crime considering Japanese requires much fewer characters for their text compared to English, so you can't blame this on Nintendo of America.\n\n**Online Features in a Single-Player RPG**\n\nTo expand on how annoying it was having to sneak by high-level enemies, it makes raising your characters all the way to Level 30 a grind. Of course, getting Skells for everyone makes exploration and battles infinitely easier, but getting your non-Cross party members to Level 30 is tough because, unlike in XC1 & XC2, your non-active party members don't passively gain EXP in XCX. Even with all the EXP Boost augments you can stack, levels feel slower to gain than in the other games since quests don\031t give as much EXP.\n\nI mention this because for a majority of the base game, you can't make EXP Boost augments above Rank V (+18% EXP). The materials for Ranks X (+28% EXP) through XX (+50% EXP) require Giant Jade Pearls, which are locked to Level 41+ enemies in Sylvalum. Unfortunately by the time you're strong enough to fight them, your characters will already be at Level 30; however, there *is* in fact a way to farm Giant Jade Pearls in the early game, and that's through Reward Tickets and online functionality.\n\nReward Rickets allow you to buy any item drop in the game, meaning you can (1) build late-game augments like EXP Boost XX early and (2) complete the tedious fetch quests. Personally, I find this pretty disappointing because if you\031re someone with bad Wi-Fi like me, the offline journey to Level 30 is much more grindy. I try to avoid online features in single-player games, so me finding out about all this after Chapter 10 made my efforts feel wasted. For a single-player RPG, it takes control out of your own hands and makes the base experience age more poorly, especially once Nintendo Network eventually shut downs.\n\nConsidering people desperately want XCX to come to Switch, I question how online would function in a Switch port considering Nintendo Switch Online requires you to pay a subscription fee. Do you think a future port will just go the route of XC:DE where Time Attack will become the way to farm currency for rare materials? Honestly, the Global Nemesis missions should just be moved offline so that players can gain Reward Tickets from there (like with Noponstones). That way, online becomes a *bonus* rather than the requirement.\n\n**The Good Coming Late**\n\nWhen it comes to the story, I don\031t have much to say other than it only started getting really interesting towards the very end. It\031s odd because the ending to XCX would totally be a midpoint if it were structured like XC1 or XC2, but most of XCX\031s story is just about a war against the cartoonishly evil aliens. The existential themes about humanity (Xeno staple) and the search for our bodies don\031t feel as fleshed out as they should have been.\n\nKnowing Takahashi, the story *absolutely* would\031ve focused more on the existential themes rather than the Ganglion war had he been able to make it a story-driven game. Lao\031s sacrifice and Elma\031s reveal would be the midpoint of a much larger story, meaning that cliffhanger of \034There\031s something about this planet\034 would instead get actual payoff. On another note, I guess this means the mims that died during the story and quests actually did die (RIP Carl, who died from my dumbass decision).\n\nAs for gameplay, I didn\031t learn about infinite Overdrive until right before starting Chapter 12. Because I was about to finish the game, I watched Enel\031s videos on XCX combat, and I\031m pretty pissed that the game did such a shitty job with its tutorials (a pattern for Monolith Soft). The in-game manual doesn\031t even bother to list which colored Arts produce which effects during Overdrive. They only list what effects *can* be produced, but they don\031t bother telling you *how* to produce them. A simple \034blue and green Arts extend Overdrive duration\035 or \034purple Arts increase TP\035 would\031ve been nice.\n\nAnyways, I\031m fucking glad I watched Enel\031s video because OP Overdrive saved my ass during the Chapter 12 boss fights where I was underleveled. Efficiently building up the Overdrive Count with Mastermind Cross isn\031t as easy as Enel makes it look, so I played Chapter 12 as Elma due to her passive Overdrive skills (starting with 12 Count & having 10 extra seconds) as well as her TP-boosting Arts. Elma made those final fights actually tolerable since she was able to deplete the latter half of Lao\031s HP despite only having a final Overdrive Count in the 40s.\n\n**What I Would Fix in a Port or Definitive Edition Remaster**\n\nIf XCX ever gets a port or Definitive Edition remaster (not a full remake) on the Switch or next Nintendo console, there are a number of things that could be tweaked to minimize a lot of the game\031s biggest flaws. The most blatant issues that a port should prioritize fixing above all else are the horrible audio mixing and the tiny font. These are amateurish mistakes that were terrible even at the time and should not have been released to the public, so any port that does not immediately fix these issues is an automatic failure on Monolith Soft\031s part.\n\nThe next change I would make is in how the online features work. Due to Nintendo now locking online functionality behind their subscription service on Switch, Reward Tickets need to be accessible in some way for handheld and non-Wi-Fi gamers. That is why I suggested for Nemesis battles to function offline and for Time Attack Missions to include Reward Tickets, functioning like Noponstones in XC2\031s DLC & XC:DE. It will allow online players to get bonus rewards through Squad Tasks & Missions without compromising the experience of offline players.\n\nAs for other QoL changes, add quest markers for collectible items and item drops just like in XC:DE. Considering this game does not allow you to exit affinity missions, those that revolve around item collection are notorious for practically softlocking players, so adding XC:DE-style markers would alleviate those concerns. In addition, I would allow an option to exit affinity missions on the condition that all progress during the mission is lost. Lastly, the in-game manual should do a better job at explaining the game\031s complex mechanics (like Overdrive).\n\n**Conclusion**\n\nOverall, *Xenoblade Chronicles X* is a weird game in which I'm more fascinated with the development and design choices of the game than I am with the actual playing experience. I definitely see why it has its fans as there are plenty of highlights, but like Sawano's OST, the execution is hit or miss. I'm glad to say that I at least enjoyed this complete playthrough to a decent extent, but I definitely don't think XCX is anywhere near as good or satisfying as XC1 or XC2.\n\nXCX feels like a game made for a Western audience, but not in the ways you'd expect. If you're one of those "I hate anime" people who constantly shits on XC2 on social media, then XCX feels like a game for you (I guess?). It's a game where the gameplay gets much more focus than the story, and most of the character designs look *relatively* more Western than the characters in XC1 or XC2 (probably because the XCX characters are canonically American). Really, only Elma and the alien antagonists (particularly the ladies) have an explicitly Japanese design, which is why Elma can cross over into XC2's DLC without missing a beat.\n\nI do hope XCX finally gets a port sometime in the future, and it definitely needs a sequel due to that *Kingdom Hearts*-esque cliffhanger. Honestly, XCX\031s story feels like a KH story: It dicks around for a majority of the plot, backloads the interesting stuff at the end, and leaves many unanswered questions with a tease after the credits. Regardless, thank you for making it to the end of this lengthy review.\n\nP.S. The \034Lin eating Tatsu\035 jokes were old the first time around and kept getting shoved in your face throughout the game. Does Japan find this funny, or were they annoyed as well?
## 63 We\031ve been together almost a year. \nHe is 100% a different person on his meds VS not on his meds. \n\nOff his meds he is constantly wanting to talk to me, calling me a lot etc (we are kinda long distance)\nOn his meds, I feel like I\031m noticing he isn\031t as persistent (obviously because the medication makes him focus on things now, right?) and he isn\031t as talkative, and we have less phone conversations (which is fine because there is still texting through the day.. he obviously has his life and I have mine)\n\nSo as silly as this sounds& \nI feel less loved?? when he is on his meds. \nBut I KNOW he loves me, and I also love him to death. \nThis is obviously a me issue, but I\031m just curious if anyone else has felt this way with their significant other and I guess how to deal with it if you don\031t always get to see each other.\n\nI plan to talk to him in person about this but figured any insight around ADHD would help me
## 64 I just feel like I need validation I guess that I really have this disorder>&\r@\017 sorry if it\031s annoying I guess I\031m just shocked because I assumed I just had a fun outgoing personality lol until I\031m dying from depression hating myself after. \n\nMine is: \n- making video stories on ig that I think are so funny of me talking and making jokes about bs\n\n-replaying the same fantasy scenarios in my head while listening to the same songs over and over (all fantasies have to do with me being praised).\n- heart racing \n- feeling something in my throat like as if I don\031t do something immediately I\031m gonna die or something (not really die but just be so extremely agitated) like I need a release \n- texting an ex/ random boys I\031ve dated/ dming boys I think are cute and being extremely flirty without a care \n-dating someone new and acting kinda fake like as if I\031m in love with them. I feel like an intense person. \n- doing research for hours about the same thing\n- causing drama for no reason because I feel like it will fill \034something\035 for me. Example: feeling angry at an ex and deciding to curse them out when they didn\031t do anything.\n- writing paragraphs in my notes (sometimes the same ones with different edits) as if I\031m talking to someone in my life. I basically write them so that I don\031t actually send them to the person like trying to be proactive as an outlet. But I\031ll write the paragraph like 15 times or more. Then delete it days later when I feel \034okay\035 again. \n\nI also talk fast have a lot of ideas make jokes constantly to the point where I\031m practically just an actress and have been told I am very Loud or to quiet down sometimes. \n\nI really thought it was just my personality the whole time and I never even cared I\031ve been so loved and complimented for my \034outgoing\035 and \034not giving a shit\035 \034honest\035 personality so I am just sooooo confused. Does anyone else do this stuff.
## 65 It was a JOKE. I thought it was a JOKE. I switched to a co ed school last year. A friend of mine was shocked when she found out that I(14F) have never dated anyone ever. Then she says \034It is my life\031s mission to find you a girlfriend\035. Now ALL MY FRIENDS SAY THAT. THEY ALL MESS AROUND WHEN THEY DO SAY THAT. SO I ASSUMED SHE WAS JOKING AS WELL. I laughed it off and before I knew it she finds this girl who finds me attractive(bullshit I look like a cow reproduced with a housefly) and I don\031t know how to tell them I am not actually looking for a girlfriend!!! I\031m SO stupid=
## 66 **Full spoilers ahead: (As well as a constant barrage of pre-release content)**\n\n\nIt is not a particularly uncommon theory/indulged in fandom media that Mari was abusive/an abuser but ultimately not supported in-game. However, I don't believe it is that strange/uncommon to get that read from her before the end of the game occurs. I know I did have that as a theory of mine approaching the end of the game, but learning the truth that it was more a tragedy full of accidents it broke my heart. \n\nBut&\n\nAfter going through **COUNTLESS** amounts of Omori pre-release content + unused content out of curiosity's sake, I believe that Omori went through a semi-significant rewrite for it's core idea and potentially could be a cause of why Omori had such an insane Dev Hell time frame.\n\nMari may have in fact been a completely different character for most of Omori's existence as an idea. \n\nMari may have in fact been the single focal abuser causing Sunny to become the depressed shut-in more consistent with Omoriboy and the original Omori comics. \n\n(I would like to note I do not for a second believe that this is reflected as dark subtext within the final game/Mari's final character. I am just analyzing how the story likely changed much like Omocat mentioned on Basil Birthday stream on 2/18/2022)\n\n**Public Release Info**\n\nOmori is somewhat notorious for how Omocat kept people in the dark for most of the game's development post being kickstarted but there is still a lot we can work with. \n\nThe first thing I'd like to draw attention to is Mari's appearance in all pre-release Omori content.\n\nMore specifically... *the fact she only has one appearance across everything until the 2020 trailer right before the game was released.*\n\nMari is not in Headspace at all. \n\nShe is not synonymous with Sunny's ideal world for most of the time the *idea Omori existed*\n\n~~Ignoring Omoriboy because it's only Omoriboy in white space with Mewo (and maybe proto Abbi?), but he clearly is struggling with something~~\n\n[Omori comic?](https://www.omocat-blog.com/post/57264870461/omoriboy-omoris-story-omoris-sketchbook-omori)\n\nThe one that Omocat deliberately showed off and commented on with all its allusions to modern/later incarnations of things for Basil's Birthday Stream?\n\nNot one peep of her outside of saying they gave OG Beta Basil's (Flower) perfectionism to Mari. \n\nFor emphasis, one of the final panels after Omori is whisked away from his imagination and his friends where he looks at his notebook and breaks down crying. [Even proto!Basil sneaks in a cameo here.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/617389907656310813/960618585695346718/IMG_0229.jpg)\n\n[Omocat Basil Birthday stream for proof that this is old Basil.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/617389907656310813/944404144612069386/unknown.png)\n\n[2014 Kickstarter Trailer?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erzgjfU271g) \n\nShe only makes an appearance in white space for a brief second more haunting Omori. She is not animated along with his friends Aubrey/Kel/Hero. Even Basil gets one shot of animation turning around here in his headspace colors as well. Well outside of Something\031s first appearance&\n\n[2017 Trailer?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV0BST2nifk)\n\nWhile double-checking this video, this is where my suspicions went from "Oh perhaps this is just keeping up the mystery" to "Oh my god, she's not here still".\n\nBecause the single most synonymous thing with Mari in headspace (and arguably the whole game) is being at picnics with the cast. \n\nHowever, there is a picnic scene on screen with finished/current animations for Aubrey and Kel (Hero is squinting his eyes but same pose, and Omori is in his sitting position but eating the fruit) and specifically no Mari to be seen. In fact, this white space emphasized trailer has her not appear at all. \n\n*Edit I completely forgot about 2018 demo, that is the first appearance of headspace Mari minimal impact on game however she has a weird in-between state of being near picnics but they're never called her picnic baskets*\n\n**Unused and Older Game build info**\n\nThere is certainly a lot less info here relative to what I have typed up here. Though there are some KEY dialog differences that are to my knowledge completely unused in the final game of Omori but still reported on the Omori text dump database.\n\n[You can find the following quotes I post under this exact link. The named character is something, which is very clearly Mari.](https://goats.dev/omori/maptext.html#farawaytown_extras_fears)\n\n> Oh, little brother... Please do not resist... After all I've done for you... Will you not trust me? Please... Let me take care of you...\n\n> Sweet, little brother... You... You are confused... Why do you deny my help? I will always want the best for you... You know that, don't you? Please... Let me take care of you...\n\n> I'm sorry... Sweet little brother... I must insist... Your eyes... They are welled with tears and your fingers...\\ They shake in pain. Do not worry, little brother. I will take care of you...\n\n> Sweet little brother. It is time to rest...\nShut your eyes... and stay very, very still...\n\nYou are then given the prompt to answer yes or no to these... requests. With the game responding with these respectively.\n\n> You feel something crawling up your leg.\n\n> You feel something crawling on your neck.\n\nThis by itself is incredibly creepy and unnerving without much explanation. \n\nHowever, please allow me to put on my tinfoil hat for a second I had a thought while double-checking the Kickstarter trailer of Omori for this post. I noticed the first appearance of something is followed by the reflection of it within Omori's eyes. That is then quickly followed up with a reflection of a hand in Omori's eye then swimming by an intentionally very vague outline of an image. It does not outline the red for what it is worth but it is [Something] then a hand. Very loose connection to say the least but something to ponder. \n\nI almost don't want to supplant what the image right at the frames the hand is moving at and would like if people could find their own interpretation but I honestly see >!someone sitting on another's lap!<\n\nAlso gonna comment on 2019 build info. [tldr, a lot of 2019 August stuff found in version 1.0 on steam buried away with a lot of things similar to the final game.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuBci-5r5K4)\n\nHeadspace Mari is here and present in some picnics but not most. She is very much in the photos implied by the game and mostly seems helpful. (Plus helping with debug aspects but so is Basil handing out blackspace letters lol)\n\nHowever, I would like to emphasize that a lot of creepy Mari elements that are fully implemented into the game. \n\nIncluding the honestly most creepy and cryptic of all known as Mari is Home. Which apparently can be accessed on Alt route which is thought-provoking, to say the least. The fact that maybe the most horrifying of which is still around could say that creepy Mari was a definite focus that existed in the game potentially longer than wholesome headspace Mari. \n\ntl;dr\n\nWhile none of this is particularly concrete information for what might have been, I think all together this paints a very consistent and elaborate picture that the Mari that we know and love today is not the Mari that was around for most of Omori\031s life. \n\nThanks for taking the time to read this borderline ramble/excuse from being productive and let me know your thoughts!
## 67 I'm in uncharted territory here\n\nI typically stay by the book: meet girl, set date, wait till she texts then set next date, etc\n\nI meet this chick 3 days ago, set a date in person and met out with her the next day. We walked our dogs and kissed at the end, nothing crazy. I tell her to text me\n\nShe invites me out with friends for trivia night at a local bar. I'm a recovering alcoholic but she doesn't know this. Plus, wtf meet her friends after 3 days? I'm thinking she's suggesting this to "cock block" me into friend zone, or show me to her friends to get their approval. Idk... I felt it could go bad. Maybe a lot of pressure.\n\nBut who am I? Why am I scared of meeting some chicks friends? Because I'm subliminally being outcome dependent? Because I feel I can't handle a group? Cause I want this chick to like me?\n\nYes, maybe those things. But fuck that. That's who I used to be. That's the pit I crawled out of. I know what to do. \n\nPlus, I want to reward and reinforce her texting me and wanting to see me. I want that foundation laid early.\n\nAnyway. Ringing in my head: "don't treat someone you're dating like your gf" \n\nOk so I'm going solely for myself. I know to work the group. She's just there for all intents and purposes.\n\nI get there on time but don't see her so I just sit at the bar and drink a root beer with a lemon. Talk to some chick ordering a drink next to me.\n\nI'm like fuck man, I fucked up. I don't see her, I imagine her sitting with her friends forgetting about me. But she texts me about 10 minutes after we were to meet asking where am I? So I say, I'm here find me. I want her to come over and get me rather than I just impose myself into the scene. She finds me and turns out her friends aren't here yet. Nice, better than expected.\n\nShe's sitting at a table with stools but I can't lean back on this thing so I go and grab a high chair with a back for body language reasons. \n\nWe talk a bit, I'm just treating her like a friend. Her friends show up, a dude and his gf and another dude. I go high energy and shake the hands of the guys and address the other girl. I keep my body language not facing my friend as I do not wish to stifle her with my presence. I'm turned more towards the group. They get drinks. Trivia starts \n\n\nI just get focused on the trivia and get hyped on getting the correct answers. I'm addressing the men mostly, sometimes the women. But I know I need to get "in" with the dudes. \n\nWell luckily for me they're all drinking about 2 beers each. So as the trivia goes on, it just gets easier to jive with these guys. I just ask questions and remain interested in the conversion topics. All smiles.\n\nSo I'm kinda unsure of where I'm at with my lady friend, because her body language kinda mirrors mine, very neutral. She's across from me.\n\nTrivia ends, and the couple start to get ready to leave. I see my friend getting her jacket so I'm like ok, let's see what happens now. I remain seated. The third guy is still there but he's getting ready too. Well the couple leaves, then the other guy eventually leaves as well. Nice. No cock block. My friend was there waiting for me to move so we walk to her car. \n\nWe're joking but she's standing close so I just grab her and we make out in like freezing temperatures. She asks "so so you still want to hang out? Not tonight but like in general?" Too cute. I tell her yeah of course. So, I walked, but she offers a ride. So I get in the back of her car like an Uber and she's all "nooo, get in the front!" Ok, ok. \n\nWe're about to kiss and I say what if I told you don't kiss me? As our lips are close. She goes you don't want me to kiss you? I say no. She pulls me in. Nice\n\nI think about inviting her up but she mentioned she can't hang out more tonight so I refrain from posing a situation where she says no to me. Not worth it right now. Too soon for any type of "no"\n\nSo I say kiss me one more time and she does. I tell her to text me (always tell her to contact you) and I get out and go upstairs.\n\nPretty good night. This chick is cool. Let's see when she texts me. My first experience meeting friends like this. Always learning.
## 68 I would like to make a weapon suggestion. Hopefully this is well received and makes its way to the dev team.\n\nA fediore gun that is kind of like a reverse of the eridium gun gun from borderlands 3. \nInstead of shooting items, it sucks them up like a vacuum. \034Hip-Fire\035 allows you to pick up white and green items. \034Aiming\035 allows you to pick up blues and purples. \nPicking up items adds to its \034ammo\035 count. \nWhite- 1\nGreen- 2\nBlue- 3\nPurple- 5\n*Chaotic and enchanted items add +1 to their amount.\n\n\034Reloading\035 tosses the gun in front of you (like fediore weapons do) and causes a lootsplosion. Giving a bunch of money and a chance at a legendary, based on how much \034ammo\035 was in it.\n\n\034Why is this needed?\035 \nThere is tons of loot left out every time, and collecting all of it to sell is obviously impossible, as far as cash purposes. This gives a good way to clean them up and toss some coin in the Fatemakers pocket. Even if it\031s not full price, it\031s something. (The vending machines don\031t fill themselves.) Could be a good red text for it.\n\nAlso, in my experience, even with a high loot luck (9000) i don\031t get legendary items all that often, which I WOULD be fine with as BL3 had way too many of them way too often. However, when I do get them, they always match to my friends builds, and almost never to mine. I inevitably go on extended chaos room runs by myself to fix this and comb through TONS of loot, trying to catch up to them in power, but it seems I am unable. The addition of this item would give me an extra chance to obtain what I\031m looking for.\n\nI know it\031s a long read, but I tried to make sure it was well thought out before I pitched it. *pun intended.
## 69 hi i'm a gay guy and i've been working with this guy and we got really close and flirted over text a lot, i never asked his sexuality and he never asked for mine but we\nsorta just clicked. we hung out today for the first time outside of work and we watched a movie, it was great but we didn't like flirt or do anything which is like okay but i expected us to at least hold hands or something. maybe i'm crazy but idk i really need advice. he's really\nsweet to me and i'm already over thinking assuming he doesn't like me
## 70 Hi there! We at r/math are trying to build a nice Hilbert curve to represent us, and have unfortunately been taken over by your flag. Would it be acceptable to build over your flag in a nice way according to ~~this post of mine~~.\n\nPlease and thank you! We are fully willing to communicate and collaborate!\n\nEdit: It appears r/trans has removed the truce post so I am copying the text of it here:\n\n>**r/place trans flag truce with r/math Hilbert curve?**\n\n>Hey there! r/math is currently trying to build our second attempt at a Hilbert curve and has been overrun by your impressively large flag. Would folks here be willing to allow us to build on the left side of the flag with the blue-pink-white stripes as background?\n\n>An alternative idea that I could pitch to them might be embedding the curve within the flag but in alternating colors. So on blue stripes the curve would be white, on pink stripes the curve would be blue, and on white stripes the curve would be pink.\n\n>Edit: [Here is the most recent r/math post](https://www.reddit.com/r/math/comments/tui3co/new_hilbert_curve_in_rplace/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for folks here to communicate directly with us. My personal thought is that the best looking option would be my second paragraph starting at the top left corner.
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